“John Mayer LIVE”

25:05Who's there? Britney Spears. Britney Spears, who? Knock, knock. Who's there? Britney Spears. Britney Spears, who? Oops. I did it again. Oh, God.

25:19Johnny. That's Maple. Do you have, like, a go-to joke that you used... I didn't do it long enough to have a go-to joke. What was your style as a stand-up? I didn't even... I mean, I would... I wanted to be observational. I wasn't... The thing is, and I'm glad I did stand-up because I'll do shows with Dave Chappelle now, and I'm not front and center, but I understand him. I've seen so much stand-up. I used to go to the comedy cellar every single night in New York City. I'd go to the comedy cellar. And I was just enamored with it. When I was younger, I didn't have this thing in my head that would say, that's not for you.

25:58And so I would look at it and go, I'm going to do that too. I'm going to do that too. And I didn't quite put the time in that it would have taken. I mean, what you're supposed to do if you really want to do it, get your tapes. Watch your tapes. And I didn't want to watch the tapes. I wanted to drink just enough to watch someone stand up and go, I can do it. And it didn't quite... And it's a different experience once you get up there? I bet. I liked it. I actually liked the uphill battle of it. The problem was, poor, sweet, beautiful Esty, who books the comedy cellar in New York, would get calls from People Magazine the next night saying, did he go up?

26:37I heard he said this and that. And if you think about it, here's why I can't do stand-up. because if I, one of the many reasons, if I got on stage and I said, so my girlfriend has another UTI, that ceases to be about a joke about a UTI, and everyone would go, who's the girlfriend? Who's he dating? And so it didn't work. It's celebrity news. It didn't work. Even the setup didn't work because people would get stuck in who's who and what's going on, but it taught me stage time. And most of your jokes were about UTIs. They were all UTIs, pretty much. Yes. You never bothered to develop any other material?

27:19I never really did. I did this thing where I would just smash cranberries with a big mallet at the end. Yeah. And then you just taught yourself guitar. Which is weird because they're actually really good for curing UTIs. Yes. Well, I had thought about that before I said it. That's actually true, right? Why are you laughing, sir? A lot of ladies are nodding out there. Yeah. Yeah. Willie, you just did some time at the Comedy Cellar. Will's got a film coming out where he's going to play a stand-up, and he went up there and threw himself into the deep end. Yes. Bradley Cooper directed. We showed at the Comedy Cellar.

27:50Sean's in the movie with me as well. If you blink, but yeah. And our friend Bradley directed it, and we shot at the Comedy Cellar for eight days. I play a guy who's just starting to become a stand-up because he's going through some life changes. And so, yeah, so I did the same. I went for six weeks. It's called, is this thing on, and it comes out later this year. Yeah. And it was scary, yes? Or not scary? Yeah, the first time I went on, yeah, but I was going on, well, in the same way, I was going on as, they introduced me as this character, as the guy who's going up and doing stand-up for the first time, and then people were very confused.

28:21Yeah, yeah, yeah. It looks a lot like Will Arnett. And I'm like, hey, I'm going through a divorce, I'm getting divorced, and people were like, didn't he get divorced like 10 years ago? Amy Poehler? Like, what's, you know? And it was very confusing for people. It's very confusing, it's very hard to do. But we made the leap anyway, yeah. But did you see anyone you loved when you were there? so many good and they're so good and it's so hard what they do you end up having so much respect for stand-ups and what they do it's amazing and writing jokes all day so we would go back and we'd write jokes all day and then go at like 9 o 'clock and meet up there and go up 3 or 4 times at all the different stages it was pretty crazy there's really nothing like it and everyone has a friend that's told them you should do stand-up or the other way around and when you get up there you realize the water is choppy.

29:11And what's crazy is it's true and what's crazy is as Jason pointed out you've been performing in front of huge audiences for a long time and I've been doing this for a long time. I look really young but I'm older than and they're laughing because it's so true and yet when you actually go do stand-up it is just such a different thing. It's completely different. We did one night when we were prepping for the movie. John, we're going to get to you in a sec. This is great. No, this is great. I was just thinking as I was drifting as he was talking, I was thinking to myself, because I drifted far, I thought, this is actually the most fun I've had on a podcast so far.

29:48I like where we're going. I like where we're going. You're lucky to get a word in. It's a conversation. I like where we're going. My point was, the line between succeeding, killing, and bombing is very thin. So, the first guy who brought me on stage. Quickly, please, yeah. We have to get to these guys. I'll have you know was the dearly departed Bob Saget. How bad do you feel now? Nice, Sean. And Bob brought me on stage. He went up for just probably four or five minutes, which was impossible for Bob to do. To do four or five minutes. Even more impossible now. That is true. That is true. Bob would appreciate it.

30:28Well, you asked me how. Bob would appreciate that job. Bob would appreciate that job. He'd appreciate it. Which is why you can do it. And he brought me up on stage, and I immediately felt how difficult it was. And this is the real problem. This is the real... I'm trying to put you in my shoes if you were to do stand-up. You might absolutely suck, but all you want to do when you get off stage is do it again. Yeah. And again, there's something about it. It's a little kind of million-dollar baby where you're all beat up and you're all, see you tomorrow morning. Yeah, it's crazy. You want to keep doing it.

31:00Sean, now Sean tried, and you guys have probably heard a little bit if you listen to the podcast, but Sean tried to stand up once and he had a great opening. You remember his great opening show? Oh, it's the best. Let's hear it, Sean. It's not quite a good level of Tongue story, but... You're going to love it, John. They say doing ballet is one of the most difficult things you could ever do. Right. So I say just don't do it. End of joke. That's it. That's it. That's the kind of logic I like. I like that kind of tail-eating logic. You can use it. John, you grew up in Fairfield, Connecticut. Yes, I grew up in Fairfield, Connecticut.

31:35You grew up in Fairfield. You got whiplash. Yeah, your mom was an English teacher and your dad a high school principal. High school principal, yeah. So, I mean, what? Did you feel like you had to be on your toes all the time with your grades and learning and all that? I had a very nice kind of hybrid of right brain, left brain growing up. Because there would be like, if you had a question about a word, the dictionary would come out at the dinner table. Oh, really? And you would break down what that word was. but then I would also go in my room and kind of escape from all of it and just play guitar and if you put both those things together it's very good for being a singer-songwriter because you've got the left brain, right brain thing going so I hear things when people are talking to me I know what's wrong with all of the grammar they're using and I just let it go now Does it drive you crazy?

32:25Does it still drive you crazy a little bit? There's a couple ones that drive me crazy and it's number and amount Do you know about number and amount? No, tell me. I'm going to change your life forever and you're going to annoy all your friends. It is a number of people. It is an amount of butter. So number refers to a quantifiable substance. A bunch of singular things. Yes. And amount is the opposite of that. So when you hear amount of people, it is technically wrong. Number of people. Number of people. And when you hear someone say number of people, to me, it's like music to my ears. What about punctuation with texting, emails, things like that?

33:01Periods go inside of the quotes. Right. You know? Exactly. Commas go inside the quotes. Exactly. I believe question marks go outside the quotes. There's a book called Eats, Shoots, and Leaves. You said no way they don't? It depends. It depends. If you're relaying what somebody else said, right? Then it would go in. But if you're asking, did she say this? Then it would go outside. Right. But then it's not a double dash for the quotes. it's a single dash because it's somebody else's right. If I'm writing I will actually do several layers of quotes so I'll use the single apostrophe for the quotes inside of the double apostrophe for what it was saying.

33:40I think it's beautiful. It's a beautiful thing. Well, not all heroes wear capes. But are you one of those cool texters that like uses acronyms and like how the kids text? No, you'll write a goddamn sentence, right? and you'll punctuate it, you'll spell check it and then you'll send it. I have one pet peeve. Which is when people use hung for when someone was hanged. It's hanged, not hung. That comes in handy a lot. Because he searches it on Google all the time. Do you have that, John, where you feel like the urge to correct people? I will tell you, I have a rule. If I feel like it will help them and they will appreciate that help, I'll do it.

34:21And I'll have a way of saying there's nothing wrong with you saying it to me I think you'd want to know and I want you so you can judge it here's one that's just a real doozy when I'm looking at an Instagram caption and someone says they were honored to be a part of something but apart is one word apart which is the exact opposite of what they're saying that one is bonkers right or what about when you're sending a text the send button is not a period you know create your paragraph send that don't just keep hitting send at the end of every sentence because then my phone goes I feel like someone died this has been about a year and a half to two years now I promise we're going to get back to the show this became listen we're on a hot streak this became a kind of vernacular where people would say I mean not for nothing and it's cool if you have that text open and if you're watching something and it keeps coming down or if he's trying to show a video of people getting hunged.

35:28There aren't alerts. Then you would just see it coming down and stuff. And so now just write it all. I put paragraph breaks in now. Take your time. Write it. Get it together and then alert me to what you want to talk about. At the same time it does make it more conversation. I'm not here defending that and I'm not guilty of it. But I will say there's also nothing worse. You're the You're the worst. There's nothing worse than getting six inches of text from somebody. Like, oh, fuck it, here's this story. You know what I mean? You would love my texts. I bet. Can you text? I'm looking forward to texting with you.

36:02Try me. Try me. I'm ready to start a friendship with you. I'm saying it officially right now in front of everybody. I'll never be uninteresting. No, I saw you at the Mets game the other day. I'm like, we can go to baseball games. You can teach me how to play guitar. I know this is sort of like the We Never Hang Out Dave thing you're doing But I would hang out with you I'll get you a deal on Smartless Mobile We'd love to get you on I would love to have a Samsung phone That sounds very exciting He's kidding I can't wait to have red bubbles Why are your bubbles red? I'm on Smartless Mobile That's not true That's not true.

36:45It's all blue. It's 5G and you're on the T-Mobile network. Anyway, John. Anyway, John. Sounds like you don't want a free fucking phone. I just love the idea of being on. Hit me up. Like you guys have to start integrating it into your casual conversation. You should hit me up on my smartless phone. We didn't. We didn't have to. We didn't know that Sean was going to drop that, to be honest. It was fun. It's fun. And we will be right back. This episode of SmartList is sponsored by our friends at Ashley. The brand actually made our live event stage feel kind of like a home, while also supporting incredible organizations like For Others.

37:24Earlier in the episode, we mentioned their donation to For Others, a nonprofit doing very, very, very important work to end the child welfare crisis in America. The crisis may go overlooked at times, but it has serious consequences. And through working with Ashley and for others, we learned that 90 % of children in the welfare system will experience severe trauma. And children that age out of the foster care system have a 40 % chance of being homeless within 18 months with 97 % immediately entering chronic poverty. And these stats are hard to hear, but that's exactly why this work is so important.

38:03So through Ashley's donation, the next generation can find a loving and secure home strengthening our communities and opening doors to new possibilities. And we're just thrilled to celebrate the powerful work being done by four others with Ashley's support. We were sitting on Ashley pieces during the live taping of our show, which was comfy and they look great and made it look like a living room and kind of at times forgot we were on stage. But sitting on Ashley's furniture, knowing the work that they do that goes and does good in the world, felt even better. And just being associated with that brand, for us, went a long way.

38:42Ashley's all about style that's made for real life with white glove delivery right to your door. So visit your local Ashley store or head to ashley.com to find your style. To learn more about For Others' mission or to donate, visit forothers.com.

39:02This episode of Smartless is brought to you in part by Skinny Pop Popcorn. And yes, It's exactly what you heard crunching backstage at our live event at the Avalon. I will say there's something kind of really classic about the original Skinny Pop. No fluff. It's just got the good stuff. It's deliciously popped, perfectly salted, light and airy. Kind of like me. I feel like I'm kind of light and airy. I'm like a human Skinny Pop. But I'm not as good. We did. We had so much Skinny Pop. They were a sponsor of the show. and we had so much of it everywhere. We were kind of silly with Skinny Pop and the guys went a little bit crazy with it.

39:43Every time I buy Skinny Pop, in my mind, I'm always like, oh, I'm getting it for the kids because I have two teenagers and a little guy. And I'm like, so I'm getting Skinny Pop for the kids. It's a good snack and it's a snack that I sort of feel comfortable having in the house. And then invariably, I'm the one who eats it all. Skinny Pop, deliciously pop, perfectly salted, popular for a reason. Find out more at hersheyland.com slash skinnypop.

40:34just say none of us are sharing your summer favorites are ready at starbucks stop by your local store and enjoy your favorite tastes of summer and now back to the show so you're from connecticut and i remember i was in atlanta once jb and i spent a couple years there not together and uh i was listening to a radio station driving to work and then you were talking to the people and you knew these people on the radio and i guess i missed the first you You had a real connection to Atlanta at the start of your career. Is that true? Yeah, I moved down to Atlanta when I was... When I was... There yet.

41:11Go ahead. Like a real connection. Yeah, I went down to Atlanta, moved away. I left Berklee College of Music after a year, moved down there with a friend, and just started writing songs and plugging away and going for it. I had a friend who was from there down in Snellville, Georgia, where everyone is someone, is what they say down there, which is really nice now when you look at it that way and so I moved down there and we started writing songs How old were you? 21 But didn't you start writing in high school? Yeah, I started writing songs And you were like a gas station person? I was writing songs in math class See, that blows my mind I mean, it's so rare to have that gift at such a young age to be able to use the English language then put it to music and you just happened to be an incredible songwriter and you knew this at such a young age, did you know why you were pumping gas at the gas station?

42:06Did you have enough belief in yourself to know that, oh, this is just temporary, I'm probably going to make it someday? Everything, yeah, I mean, everything that I was looking at was in my way. And there are kids out there who feel this way and my heart goes out to them. They're not being punks. They're acting out in class, but they're not being punks. They already know. It would be like going to a restaurant and the waiter is reading the specials and you go, I know what I want. I don't want that. I just want the burger. And they're telling you about it. We take the lobster out, we cook it, we put it back in the shelf.

42:43You're like, I know what I want. And it was very, that was actually one of the hardest times of my life was to have to be 15. When I knew that I wasn't 15, I wanted to go do this thing. And it was really tough. I love that. I love the way you put that. So then when did the dam break? When was it like, yes, finally I'm getting some traction. They're playing my music. Well, I went to Berklee College of Music when I was 19. I took a couple years off to hone my chops at the mobile station. But by the way, let me also say, whatever job you have, be the best at it on your way to where you're going. Be the best at it.

43:18I became assistant manager at the mobile station. I remember seeing the interview. Did you go there with Diane Sawyer once? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like 25 years ago, 30 years ago. I got a pager. Just be great at whatever job they give you because it's more fun to be great than to suck at it and say you don't want to do it. Just ace it for fun. And I would go to mobile management meetings. And I remember, I'm going to tell a story. It's very similar to your style. I was sitting at a meeting in a convention room with all of these mobile managers and there was a woman who was giving a speech to all the mobile managers and it was called Give Them the Pickle.

43:58And it was all based on if you're working at a deli and someone comes up and says, can I have an extra pickle? Don't charge them for another pickle. Give them the pickle. That's right. That's a cool lesson to learn from pumping gas and makes up for how stupid you get Sean, that's always been your motto too, right? Give them the extra pickle. Give them the pickle. Yep. And if they like it, give them the second one for free. So. So, how old were you? Wait, how old were you when you actually picked up a guitar? And was it really Back to the Future? You're like, I want to be Marty McFly. Yeah, I saw Back to the Future and whatever that thing was, which was that moment of like comeuppance, you know?

44:37Like that always meant something to me. And then I would like go to tag sales. We called them tag sales in the Northeast or garage sales. And I'd buy a guitar. My mom buy me a guitar for like$2. And like the first four guitars never had all six strings on them. but then I'll never forget the day I had a guitar with all six strings because that was all of the strings and then I could really go off and running and I just saw the geometry of the thing and I went got it and it wasn't that I knew how to play the guitar but I knew how I was going to and I just so quickly went and took things like rocks from the don't know it pile and put it into the know it pile but it wasn't because I worked harder I just looked at that thing and I went, I got it.

45:25Did you self-teach? Did you just start making noises? Yeah, I was lucky. Anyone out there, if you're going to give your kid a guitar, don't give them lessons for a couple weeks. Just go looking. Go looking around. Play around. Because I still see the guitar neck the way I did when I first looked at it. And then I started taking lessons. And then the guitar instructor, they used to cut it in half 30 minutes would be 15 and 15. The first 15 minutes would be learning from the book, and the second 15 minutes was like, bring in a song, and the guitar teacher will show you that song. And before long, it was just all bring in a song, and it was all show me everything, and I could just, I'd go home, and I'd come back, and I'd do it, and I'd go, give me more, give me more.

46:10And you just loved it. And I loved it, and then, I know you're trying to get me to taper down with this story, and I'm almost there. No, no, no, no. I'm just, I'm truly... We've got to get to a commercial, John. You loved it. Past tense. Were you like that? Sean, were you like that with the piano? Honestly, I went through the face. I started at five years old, literally came home from kindergarten. My mom was like, do you want to take piano lessons? I literally said, I'm not doing anything else. Why not? And she lived across the street, and I started taking piano lessons. And then as I got older, all the adults in my life kept saying, gosh, you know, you're taking piano lessons?

46:46I wish I would have stayed with that. or violin lessons or whatever lessons they took over and over again all the adults would say I wish I stuck with it and so I turned that messaging, I turned all those regrets into motivation and so I was like there must be something to that if I wonder if I just stick with it like everybody's saying they wish they did it might pay off and I might get respect for it because they gave up on it Tony yeah I have the door building connecting with an instrument is like it's like flying every time I've tried to teach myself how to play guitar I can't get past how much it hurts my fingers so I stop every time it hurts man yet you'll watch a series for nine episodes because someone says it gets good on the tenth the things we'll stick with and the things we won't but also you have to get a guitar that's set up right sometimes people's first guitars have been in attics and stuff.

47:46Do they make soft strings? They make soft strings. My 14-year-old's here. He's up there and he started playing bass a couple years ago. Now he taught himself to play guitar and he's making music in his room. You knew that. I told you that. Abel. Where you at, Abe? He's up there somewhere. Bass strings, that's easier on the fingers. Those are bigger strings. It's like a gateway drug to guitars in a way, right? Yeah. I mean, sometimes it's whatever the band needs. Sorry, buddy. I don't mean that. But it's all about whether the guitar is set up right. Oh, you're going to pay for that later. It's only four strings, too, right?

48:16Yes. When did you start having panic attacks? Oh, my God. Boy, nice, smooth. Because I had them too. The worst post in the history of podcasts. No, listen to me. Because I had them too. Like 20 seconds ago. Yeah. Because I had them too, and then I get AFib, which is cardiac arrhythmia, which you have. I have as well. And do you know when you're in it or no? Is there a doctor in the house just in case? They both seem like they're ready to pop. Yeah, because I had to go to the emergency room a lot to get cardioverted. Is that what you had to do? I didn't have to do cardioversion. So let's just get super esoteric here.

48:54When I was 17, I had AFib, a paracismal loan AFib. Sure, sure. And I got out of it with a digitalis. It's an anti-rhythmic. Yeah, I tried that. It doesn't work. Got out of there for me. And it's not fatal for most people. It's a slight risk of stroke. That's right. But it's just a nuisance. Right. And it keeps me honest because I'm on a daily, I'm on fleckinide, 50 million. You talk to the TV at home. This is, you have... I wave goodbye to the ladies in The View. I'm like, goodbye. As they say goodbye. Wait a minute. Me too. I tried fleckinide, but then I just take it as needed. Yeah. Okay. I take it because I have lots of PACs or premature atrial complexes.

49:40And hundreds a day if I'm not on fleckinide. And sometimes I'll take a metoprolol, which is a beta block. I'll take 50 milligrams of metropolol. Same metropolol, yeah. This reminds me of a TV show idea I have. And it's about a doctor who's a vampire, but he never went to medical school. He just lived so long that everything under the sun happened to him.

50:02So he just knows everything because he's lived like 800 years. And he's always trying to break in to drink the blood. I mean, we have that. We have the blood thing. We have these always sneaking around with different floors. And I really, like, I really think I hit it out of the park with the name just Dr. Vampire M.D. Sure. And, like, just come out with it. And I think if you're driving down Sunset to go back to wherever you guys are, you know, on the west side, and you see a lit-up sign over the saddle wrench, this is Dr. Vampire M.D., that you'd be like, I would check that out. Absolutely. I would totally check that out.

50:37Will, you write the theme song? Yes. Wait, why don't you have hair on your arms?

50:44simply the worst. This is absolutely the worst. Simply worse than all the world. Terrible number of worst. Sean and I have both lost the hair on our shins from socks. I don't have hair here. I used to make fun of Jeffrey Tambor for that, but he was like, you wait, you'll get old enough, you'll lose it. So you're saying you lose hair on the legs? Yeah, from socks. On the inside, I got hair. Outside, like a biker. Yeah, I'm not a very... I can't grow a beard. I'm not very... Same. Alabaster all the way. Yeah. You and I are smooth. Yeah. We're smooth. We're smooth jazz. John, whose body was a wonderland?

51:25Oh! I had that. I can tell you, and I think I've told people this much. It was your first girlfriend. Yeah, it was my first girlfriend. Oh my God, he's mocking my answer. The worst ever. I've never had anybody mock an answer. I would have sweetened it up and put something in you hadn't heard. No, okay, sorry, go ahead. My first girlfriend. Get to it, Mayor. Get to this question. This was total setup because you asked me the question. Actually, what you're doing is making fun of him for asking. That's right, that's right. But I did have on here, you have a high-profile dating history. Do we talk about it or not talk about it?

52:07Here, here, here. Here's why I don't... And that had to do with it. I would talk about me if it related to me. Sure. But I am older now. It's been a very long time since... I mean, I have my own situation from that. I stay inside the house. Aren't I a good boy, America? I'm not dating anybody. Aren't I good? Are you single right now? I'm a single person. I'm a catch. Would you... Would you like... Do you have dreams of being a husband, a father absolutely it's not easy it's not easy for John Mayer to date in all seriousness like what are you going to do like it's tough to meet people no but I'll tell you it's a very good it's a very good filtration system of selecting who's right so if if it's not easy then that means when the right person comes along well then that's easy because of how not easy it is until you meet the right person but let me ask you about what's right and what's wrong for a girlfriend versus a wife versus somebody that you might have a child with.

53:12Are you looking for something different now than you were, say, 10 years ago? because they're one and the same. I would not date someone if it didn't have the upward mobility of becoming a marriage. Right, so don't marry a girlfriend, perhaps, said differently. But I don't understand. Wouldn't you always marry your girlfriend? Well, I do. I think there's a difference. Explain it. Well, I think... You know what they say. Never marry your girlfriend. Well, but... It kind of feels like... They never said it. This is going to be good. Hi, Amanda. You know what they say? They say, be friends with your best friend.

53:52No, no, John, let him keep digging, please. Babe, should I put the shovel down? Oh, no, I do think that... You guys come in separate cars? No, damn it. but you know you might make a choice to date somebody that you think this would be a fun girlfriend it doesn't really have legs to go a distance but all my girlfriends have had legs it's something good for you good for you dude so far you gotta have standards it just happens to be I'm not looking on but Jay keep going though laugh it up Jiggles you're on a are you on a dating site right now? I'm not every girlfriend would be a potential wife at this point I am 47 oh you're young so at this point same do you think you're older than 47 do you still think 47 is young?

54:48is there something about 47 compared to 63? no yeah it is young yeah so I'm 45 that's young but it's so however difficult it is is how easy will be to identify someone who's right. I think that's how I look at it. Well, yeah, with age comes, you know, the ability to reflect on your past and not repeat the same mistakes. So when you enter a new relationship, you are hopefully wiser and all of those things. Can I tell you something? I'm going to be really honest. Just between us. Please just say it's all a fucking crap shoot. I am very well behaved. I believe that being well behaved... Like, I really care.

55:25I've developed really the best parts of me I'm very well behaved I treat people really well I'm honest, I'm sincere I'm not sarcastic and I don't know that people know this about me and so I think that when people come into a dating situation with me they think I'm going to be snappy and quick and sarcastic but I'm not Wait, is that bad? Well, listen you guys are really giving yes and a run for its money out here

55:58But I'm very well behaved And the thing is You have to be well behaved Was it always that way? No Because you're a rock star And if I'm a girl thinking about dating you I think this could be a challenge Hell hath no fury Nothing is worse than Someone who believes They're doing right and they're not Like that's, most assholes in dating are such assholes because if they would pass a lie detector test that they mean well. They're good at being assholes. But you can mean well and be terribly misbehaved. Right. And that's the kind of trap you get. This is Call Her Daddy, right? Yeah, yeah. This is where we are?

56:46so I am very well behaved and I've never articulated this before so forgive me if it sounds strict I expect good, like great behavior turns me on I've fixed, like high wattage and I'm not saying anything about in general, high wattage Hollywood, zing it at you kind of, that was interesting when I was young and now like fucking being well behaved is the hottest Shit in the world. What's your version of... Like good sleep hygiene, table manners? If you... You know what I would say it is? Responding to insecurity in a sincere way. Yeah. Amen. That's good. But I do have... Well, the ability to be vulnerable, too, is a big thing.

57:31And that's what you get when you get older, because you don't give a shit. You're like, hey, this is who I am. So what ended up happening... You're right. But I think that younger people need to get a head start on being more vulnerable. being sarcastically invulnerable and apathetic is a really good healing mechanism to get over the past breakup. It is a great way to get over somebody is to go out with your girls and take a couple pictures for your dating site where you're like licking a knife. You know, whatever. I get it. I get that. But you can't carry that into your next... I fear that there's a generation of people, men and women who have decided to come into relationships in a very inflexible, sarcastic...

58:18Vulnerability is the shit. Yeah, it's the best. Leave yourself so vulnerable that you could die if someone said the wrong thing to you. And just die a thousand times and drive home and do all those farts in the car and get home and go, well, we tried. I know that's the route to a quicker, better thing. Just be vulnerable. I want to get to your career because I have tremendous... I do. I want to get back to my career, too. I did have something about the sleep, that you take magnesium baths. I don't even know what that is. Where did you get... It's magnesium baths. That sounds good. Sean, are you late for something?

58:59Are you in a rush? No, I don't want to overstay our welcome with our friends. I feel like you got to some chat GPT and you would say, chat GPT, are you sure about the magnesium bath thing with John and it would say, you're right. I can't find exactly where I found there was a magnesium bath. I tried looking. I love what Chad Zipedee is like, fuck, you got me. All right, we don't have to talk about it. But I do have, speaking about being vulnerable, if I can be vulnerable with you right now, that I do have from one musician to another tremendous respect for you. Take it easy. I do. I just think I know so many of your songs.

59:38The first one, you know, the first one I think most people knew you from is I want to run through the halls of my high school. I want to scream at the top of my lungs. Yeah, I love that. I love that song. Anyway, and then, but go back to me. Isn't it funny that like singers who also just talk, but you know the whole time they're talking they could be singing? Yeah. I always, when I was younger, I would watch people and be like, that guy's talking, but he's also singing and I feel like sometimes I want to show people it's like, this is me talking, this is me talking, this is me talking, I'm kind of moving into singing now, I'm kind of moving into singing now, I want to run through the halls of my heart, but now I'm coming back into talking, but now I'm talking again, now I'm talking again, but at any moment I wanted to, I could go, what's to bring me down, but I can talk again, but I can talk again.

1:00:30But here's the thing, we're gonna, isn't that weird? Yeah, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna ask you to sing at the end of the show here, and then you're going to feel really uncomfortable. Wait, are you in a question? Because I want to ask you about your musicianship. That's what I was getting to. When you joined... Dead & Company? Dead & Company. Yeah, I'm making sure you didn't say Grateful Dead because I feel bad with... So I'm not a deadhead, but I've loved the Grateful Dead for many years. I've only gone to like... I went to like 10 shows, but I'm not a deadhead. But I watched you in an interview talking about learning the songs and how quickly you learned all those songs.

1:01:08It is bananas. Can you tell us a little bit about that process if you guys don't know? Yeah, so I was falling in love with the music of Grateful Dead. Like falling in love. If I hadn't joined the band or met Bob Weir and Mickey Hart and Bill Kreutzman, I would have just fallen into that anyway. And it's actually funny, the way I met them was through a mutual friend, Don Was, producer extraordinaire Don Was, who said, come up and, I know how much you love Grateful Dead right now, come up and meet the guys. And I was just telling them how much their music meant to me. And they were like, what do you do on March 7th?

1:01:40And so I was like, wherever you need me. Because they were looking at putting a band together. So it was really fascinating because as I was falling in love with the music, I would just learn how to play it on the guitar. I made a binder. And the binder had a bunch of tablature or whatever the manuscript paper was. And I would just write the song down and I would just do a song a day. but I was in love with this song a day so I took like six months off and learned how to play those songs in my house How many songs is it? I think we played like 150 songs It's fucking incredible and you learn them all in a short amount of time But you do this with lines, Will Yeah, it's a little bit different, man How so?

1:02:21I couldn't do it, I couldn't look at it I say that too, I say with lines it's like singing because if you do a play or you have to do the same lines over and over again you have to do the same lines over and over again you have to do the same lines over. It's like a song. The geometry is already there. It's not like I have to make a new map for every song. And I'm already like visualizing where the music goes anyway. So it's kind of, it's easier than you might think to just place the, think of it like a corkboard with like index cards or something. You go, okay, those are there. Or like dancers who can have like a two minute thing and someone can go, take out that step in bar 12.

1:02:58Yeah, right. And they can just, it's like, it's an innate language, and if I had to learn how to do it, and it wasn't in me, I wouldn't be able to do it. Are you one of those musicians that, did you ever learn how to read music? No, but I could read a chord chart, but I can't read music. That's amazing. But if I had, I don't know that I would have even used that skill that much in pop music. You know, you've written, like, so many songs. By the way, I love, what is it called? All We Ever Do Is Say Goodbye? I love that song so much. Which album was that on? That's on Battle Studies. And it's funny because as a writer, you can put a song out and then kind of get down about it.

1:03:40Oh, I think it's kind of this. And then years later, you listen back to it as someone who wouldn't or couldn't write that song today. And so you hear it for the first time. And I heard it for the first time not long ago after years of not listening to it. And I was like, oh, this is very nice. But when you listen back to it, do you remember where you were? And I don't mean necessarily physically, but where you were, what it meant to you in the moment. You're like, oh, like when you hear a lyric or you hear a certain note that you hit, you go like, oh, yeah, I remember why I did that. All of it.

1:04:12There's an emotional connection to it. All of it. It's very deep as I get older. It really is. I'll tell you why. I don't know how to deal with it sometimes because I'll listen back to things and be so... And this is not arrogance, because I'm not the same person. I can't do that anymore. Like, you're not the same person you were when you wrote letters to boyfriends or when you wrote in your diary. So I can look at it preserved in amber as this thing, and it's very deep, but profound, because I appreciate it. I can't believe that I did that, but I'm not that anymore. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It doesn't belong to me, even though everyone would say it does.

1:04:55I go, but those cells that made that thought and the person I was when I was that vulnerable or I was in that particular way and I didn't understand the world. And I want to be able to say, hey, that's my song. But I listen back to it and there's a sadness to not having it. It's really hard to explain. But then, John, they have a relationship with the song. When they enjoy it or they say, hey, I really love that song. It really spoke to me. I was going through a breakup or somebody in my family died or whatever and they have a different emotional response to it. How does that hit you? That's great.

1:05:29Whatever it is to someone else is great and I'm at that age now where people have lost people they used to go to shows with or people they used to listen to the music with and it makes you more, it's such a deeper connection for people. It makes up for the times people go like, you were my high school crush. Does this happen to you guys? Yeah, I mean, you go. It's never happened. Oh, this is the one. This is the one. My 14-year-old self is freaking out right now. Yeah, right. Right. And I go, so you're not. And the version that did is no longer here. And you're here representing a former version.

1:06:07But we're all in... Do you feel like you're in a better place now than you were back then to write songs and music? Do you think you're better now? I bet you are. Great question. Thank you. I'm better...

1:06:25That's beautiful. Thank you. That's beautiful. Thank you. This is actually... I could help anyone with their song. I could help anyone make their song better because of the pure experience of trying to write every song or every type of song that's ever existed. Right. it gets harder to write as you get older, but you're better when you do. And the reason it's harder to write is because you begin to answer the questions that you've had your whole life. And you should. You shouldn't live in a constant state of raw nerves. And so when I was younger, everything hurt. And I could write. And I wanted to know, why does this hurt?

1:07:09I've got to get this out. And as you get older, you have wisdom. And you understand why. You help other people who don't understand why something's happening. And you can tell them what's coming up the road. So music comes from wanting to understand what's going on. And the more you understand what's going on, the less there is to write. But when you catch one, the more experienced you are at like putting spin on the ball, baby. Have you ever written a song, though, that's been like really emotional and then you've had somebody important in your life and they hear it and they're like, hey, fuck, are we good?

1:07:42Like... Is that about me? Is that about me? what the hell? I thought everything was cool. We went on vacation last week. I was listening to the radio today. Yeah, it happened to me one time. Really? And were they right? Was it about them? Good questions will get the right answers. Yeah, I had a song called Perfectly Lonely. And at the end of the bridge, it was like something about I have to thank the love that went wrong to lead me to a love so strong. And she said, am I the love that went wrong? Am I the love that went wrong? And I had to be like, no, you're not. It's just a song. That was the only time I think anyone ever said it.

1:08:20But for the most part, I'm actually very... I mean, that's what I thought. Now she knows. And that it really was. It really was the love that went wrong. For the most part, my songs aren't bitter. I don't write songs that are like, how dare you songs. What's that? What did you say? Oh. Heartbreak Warfare, yeah. Yeah. Except that one.

1:08:47No computers. Isn't this amazing? It's so good. But I need to tell you, I'm freaking out that you're singing in front of me right now. It's really cool. Speaking of which, what's that goddamn piano doing? No, I had one last question before I asked. If you want me to play something, I'll play something. I know I said it would. Yes, yes, I do. Obviously. Before that, last question. Let's say you could form a super group of musicians that are alive. Who's in it, and what's the name of it? Alive. Okay.

1:09:19Great answer. That is good. I mean, so to me, my hero, like, real, okay, there's people you say they're your hero, but there's people that you just lose it around, and to me, Eddie Vedder. Yeah. To me, that's it. That's it. Love him, yeah. Like, you got to understand, like, you can play any, people play so many different things on a guitar, I should say there's only so many things you could play on a guitar his particular way of dropping in so I would just want to it's a selfish thing I'd want to be next to him making music and luckily I'd put people in the band I'd probably already played with I'd put Steve Jordan on the drums put Pino on the bass you know I obviously I knew you were coming on because you're my guest today but I went bonkers with nerves because I was practicing a couple of your songs because I wanted to play with you but I can't because we didn't rehearse you must you have to because I didn't rehearse I don't know the chords and all that I need sheet music, I can't read fake books but if you weren't going to play I was going to bait you by playing something myself but I'm glad you are so I don't have to so please, would you indulge us and play something I just have to remember it it's very nice of you John very nice of you oh my god, there's so many can I play anything I want?

1:10:40Yes. But I want to impress you. You're the one who brought me in. You're the one who sent the email. Well, I like... You wrote all those great questions. I love... That one. I love all we ever do is say goodbye. I love all the... I love the first one. I can't remember the name, but I know all the words. I want to run with my house in high school. Oh, no such thing? Yeah. I mean, you probably don't want to play that. I don't know. I mean, it's... Could you? Let him play what the hell he wants. Yeah, play whatever you want. I want you to play what you want. I'll tell you what. You call it out. I'll play a little bit of it.

1:11:08No, no, you play it. You pick, you pick. See, Gravity would be nice, too.

1:11:17Yeah, play Olive Continue. Olive Continue. Medley. I know, I'm at the age of doing a medley. I'll do a medley if you want. Yes! Yeah! All right, hold on, let me just load it up in my head. Okay. All right. All right, okay. Yeah! This is so good.

1:11:47It's not a silly little moment It's not strong before the calm This is the deep and dying breath of This love that we've been working on and on Can't seem to hold you like I want to So I can feel you in my arms Nobody's gonna come to save you We put too many false alarms We're going down You can see it too We're going down And you know that we're too mighty We're slow dancing And burning ropes Too good, can I just keep going on this song?

1:12:43I was the one you always dreamed of You were the one I tried to draw How dare you say it's nothing to me Baby, you're the only light I ever saw I made the most of all the sadness You'll be a bitch because you can't Oh, you try to hit me just to hit me So you leave me feeling dirty cause you can't understand We're going down You can see it too We're going down And you know that we're too, my dear We're slow dancing in a running room But now Sean, in other words, I guess what I was trying to say with this song was... Was all we ever do is say goodbye Oh, all we ever do is say goodbye

1:13:54All we ever do is say goodbye All we ever do is say goodbye

1:14:08All we ever do is say goodbye

1:14:15All we ever do is say goodbye

1:14:23All we ever do is say goodbye All we ever do is say goodbye

1:14:42Welcome to the real world, she said to me Condescendingly, take a seat Take your life and plot it out in black and white I never lived a dream of the prom kings And the drama queens I'd like to think the best of me Is still hiding on my sleeve They love to tell you Stay inside the lines

1:15:21But something's better On the other side Everybody! Yeah! I want to run through the halls of my high school I want to scream at the top of my... I can't see that! I just found out there's no such thing as the real world Just a lie, you got to rise above I just can't wait till my 10-year reunion I'm gonna bust down the double doors And when I stand on these tables before you You will know what all the time was for

1:16:09Come here, everybody!

1:16:15John Mayer! Thank you so much. What a blast. What a blast. Awesome.

1:16:25Great job, Sean. I got to say. Great job, Sean. Great job, Jason. I mean, I think... Where is he? Where is he? He's up there. He's in the back of the theater. I love it, Jay Mayer! I think Scotty might be in trouble, huh? A little bit. A little bit. What, that I did this photo? Well, no. I mean, you guys had a real connection. Yeah. I know. I love that guy. He's so amazing. Isn't that John Mayer? You guys. What a talent. And I saw a bunch of you guys mouthing the lyrics, too. Yeah. You didn't know he was coming out here. You're a big John Mayer fan. I love that. I like what he said about vulnerability.

1:17:07I think more men should be more vulnerable in the world. Agreed. We talk about that a lot. And I think he's a brainiac and a sweetheart and a good person. And I hope he finds love because he deserves it. That's right. There's a bucket out there with phone numbers for any single people out there. But I love that song. One of my favorite songs. I know. Great song. It sounded very good. Do you remember the name of it? All we ever do is say goodbye. Bye.

1:17:39Very good. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Smart. Less.

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