"Laura Dern"

29:32Laura, do you, you had a... Oh, shit, sorry, we mentioned Sean. Sean's got a spaghetti meatballs that's on the stove, so he's got to get to his questions quick. No, I just said Chinese with what did I have to drink? A glass of milk because it was too spicy. Hang on, it's 4.30. What do you mean? No, it's 7.30. He's in New York. Oh, you are in New York. Yeah, there's a time zone. By the way, JB, I had a FaceTime with him before. The three of us had a FaceTime before our session here, Laura. And then before that, Sean and I talked like an hour ago about something and I go and Sean goes, I got to go, I got to eat before.

30:09before we do the show. And he goes, and I go, oh, yeah, okay, I'll let you go. And he goes, I'm having Chinese.

30:20Every day dinner's an event in his life. I love that. It was such a funny... I haven't had Chinese in so long. Laura, do you like Chinese food? I love it. I love it. Not as much as Nepo. Nepo talks a lot about how much he loves Chinese. He can't get enough of it. I'd like Chinese tonight. Hey, this is... I promise this is the only Jurassic Park question I'll ask. But when we were on the set of... Is it real? No, is this thing on? When we were on the set, you told me the greatest story. Can you just tell it really fast because it's so cool? Something about... Do you remember what it was? It was about...

30:56Oh, was it about Steven with the megaphone the first day? Yes, yes. Yeah, that we were... I mean, this was the first CGI movie. Yeah, huge. So all we knew was we were going on this journey and there was this new idea called CGI and there was this company called ILM, Industrial Light Magic. And, you know, Dennis Murin was this guy I met on set and they were talking about how they could paint an image on the computer and things might show up that aren't there in real life. And they would put an X on a piece of paper and put it in like an orange picker up into a tree and they stare at the X. And I kept thinking, oof, this may really not work.

31:43Because it just seemed nuts that it was even possible. And it was the first day, I think it was like second or third day on set, and it was the first day we were all there as a group. And we're looking into what was the raptor pen, I guess. And Sir Richard Attenborough is kind of giving us a tour of the park. and for the first time we hear something that may be a roar in the distance. That's right. It's like your first hint of something. And we did the first take and we were all like looking in the wrong direction and not responding at the right time. So he said, Stephen, we need help. I mean, yeah, nothing's there, but we need to hear it at the same moment.

32:29He goes, oh my God, of course, of course. And obviously we had to be scared to sell the things that aren't there. So Stephen was sitting at camera, and they rolled camera. Action. We're looking. We turn our heads. The moment's about to come. And Stephen takes a megaphone and goes, Roar! Roar! And we all lost to that. I know in that moment, this group of actors looked at each other like, this is a disaster. That must have been like, wait, what are we doing? Like, what? So you're just going to go rawr through the whole movie? He lost his privileges on the whole horn. It also occurs to me, Laura, you've become like sort of like the emblem, like sort of the icon for, they always use that image.

33:22For you. Yes, for me. You're my icon, obviously. Yeah, you're my. But that thing of you, of the big dinosaur coming up, like right up against your face and you're totally freaked out. That is like such an iconic, you know, they always include that. It's like a huge, when you see that, do you remember the day you were shooting? Do you remember what you were going through? Do you remember like - Yeah, the reaction, yeah. Yeah, that was crazy. And I mean, it was amazing because the incredible Stan Winston had built animatronic puppets. So there was so much practical puppetry on set. That's a real head there, yeah.

33:59Oh yeah. And it was, yeah, you cuss. I've heard of crazy shit on this show. Like scary as fuck. Like nothing scary. Oh shit, we don't use the pun. Sorry, not from the women. You told me that too when I just said it again. Fuck. And a third time. Not from the women. But it was so scary. Those dinosaurs were terrifying. Yeah. I mean, isn't it wild? There's no acting. I'm sorry if you get asked this all the time, but isn't it wild to be part of something that you had no idea what it was going to be? It was cutting-edge technology, and now it's spawned, like, I don't know how many movies. It was part of, like, this massive movement in Hollywood that changed how they made movies, and you were the first person.

34:42You were part of it. That's just so cool. I'd made Wild at Heart, I guess, like, the year before, two years before, something like that, and so I told Nick Cage that I had been offered this opportunity, and I was like, you know, I haven't read it yet, but all I know is Stephen explained that, I guess there's dinosaurs are going to come back to life and there's a book, I'm going to read the book. And he goes, you don't have to know anything. Dinosaurs are going to come back to life. You have to do this movie. And I just remember Nick being the person who, yeah, Made me know I had to say yes instantly before learning more.

35:27Wait, okay, wait, wait, wait, wait, Laura. So Sean opened the door and then you just mentioned Wild at Heart. So first of all, it should be noted, Laura, you made so many great movies with the incomparable David Lynch, who I know is a close friend of yours as well. And he was just, you know, one of the all-time greats. And the two of you had this great collaboration on all these great movies. First one being Blue Velvet. Just talk for a second about how that came to be. So good. Met him on an audition and I think I was just turning 17. What part was he reading for? And he was very good, to be honest.

36:09But crazily, I went in and we talked for, I feel like, 45 minutes with the casting director and David about everything. And I never read for him. and the casting director had seen me in a couple of films and I guess recommended me, but he, I don't think, had seen my acting yet. But he just had an instinct, and he was so a believer in following instinct, and it seemed to go well. I mean, I just was, you know, so in love with his movies already, so it was such a huge thing to me. I'd seen Eraserhead, I'd seen Elephant Man, And so I was just blown away by him. And then he invited myself and Kyle McLaughlin to lunch at Bob's Big Boy.

36:59And I remember him doodling on a plate in ketchup, making like the most abstract and amazing drawings on his plate while the two of us were just talking and chatting it up and him watching the two of us. And I could see in his eyes him starting to see his movie. Yeah. And it was an amazing feeling as an actor. You know, it wasn't about us necessarily or us separately, but as a whole there was something that he felt was right for the film. So that was a really cool experience. Yeah, that's great. I mean, that must have been. Amazingly, I got cast. Did you, when you started making Blue Velvet, well, it sounds like you did at that moment, understand that you were doing something different, like that doing with him was different?

37:46I didn't know what it was going to be or it was such an insane, brilliant and insane script and world. Terrifying and beautiful and all the things that, you know, and hilarious and all the things that Blue Velvet is. But I had just started college. I was on day two when I got offered the movie and was beside myself and was told that I couldn't leave school. They wouldn't let me have a leave of absence. So I went to the head of the program I was in to say, here's the script. Here's everything. Can I have a tutor? And I'll, you know, make a— Whatever it takes. You know, behind the scenes, like, I'll do whatever I can do.

38:31Please, please. And I remember saying to this professor, I just have this feeling, this is my college education. and they told me that not only would I never be invited back to this university if I chose the movie but that I was making you know the most radical mistake of my life and so I remember entering that whole experience thinking which I don't think I ever would have understood if I hadn't watched my parents with these directors and had this feeling with David like this is my not only home, but this is my teacher. This is my college. This will be, I mean, in some unconscious way, I think I did know this is the greatest opportunity.

39:20You were literally at a crossroads. You were literally at a crossroads and you chose to go that way. And it seems, it seems that you made the right choice. We don't have to name that professor by name, but if you'd like to take the opportunity to shame them, that'd be fine. Right. Well, if you, if you, if you, if you, what, what, what was, what was running second place as far as a possible career path for you? Was there ever anything else on your radar? Or since then, like if somebody said, you can't do this anymore, got to do something else to... I'd be pretty fucked. Really? Yeah, I think...

39:54Now I would definitely be. At like 12, I had an idea about being a child psychologist. That was really interesting to me. As Will knows, I loved being a swimmer. Yeah. Wait, Laura, a psychologist for children, not a 12-year-old psychologist. Not a child psychologist. Right. Yes. We'll be right back.

40:24And back to the show. Where does the swimming come from? Yeah, she's a swimmer. I just... When did that start? I love it since I was little and then became, you know, just in school, competitive swimmer. Will knows way too much about it. And in the movie, is this thing on? You play an Olympic volleyball player. And I remember when we were starting and you're like, God, I really got to like figure this out. I got to find how, like, I got to do the work. And you went and you played volleyball, right? Or something, or you took lessons or something like that. Really? And in the movie, in the shots and everything, I'm like, Oh, my God.

41:00I completely believe that you were a volleyball player for the Olympics. I mean, 100%. Thank you, Sean. Yeah, it's true. Thank you. I don't remember you. I've seen it twice. I don't remember. Was it just the one picture that has you? Yeah, there's a picture and there's one quick cutaway of me. Where she spiked. Yeah. Got it. Okay. Spiking. But I think it's mostly, well, two things. One, as Will and I both can talk about, you guys all know that Bradley is like such a radical, disciplined beyond compare, perfectionist in his like drive of whatever it is, the truth, the Philly cheesesteak sandwich, the movie, you know, it's gotta be the one.

41:47And so, you know, I feel like I pride myself sometimes on throwing myself into things, but in this case, I was like, oh yeah, even if it's not in the movie, I got to get up two hours before and train. Because, you know, the manner at which you hold yourself and the way you carry your body when it's embedded in you is, yeah, is different. And her manner is different. And Sean, Jason, Sean, maybe you know a little bit, but when we were talking about, like when Bradley said, I think that Laura is going to do agreed to do this, which totally elevated everything that we were talking about doing once she agreed.

42:30And he always describes it, he's like, this character needs to be an assassin. And Laura is a fucking assassin. And so when she started to really inhabit that idea of something. That really hurt my feelings. No, because she's literally killed people. She's killed people. She's a sniper. We wouldn't get into that. She has silencers, She does piano wires. She's an assassin. No, but she, that she, that she, you know, this idea. And then she started to carry herself with that thing. Like she had this sort of like, that sort of competitive athlete edge to her. It was fucking rad. And we did some work beforehand.

43:07Yeah, so Will, so what was that like? When you started to go through just even just the reading the script sort of rehearsal process, I'm assuming you guys did. Was there a moment where you're sitting across the table from Laura and you start seeing Laura do Laura stuff and like you start seeing that talent and you're like, oh, fuck. I better really kind of, yeah. A hundred percent. I mean, we have the luxury. I mean, JB, I will tell you, yes, first of all, a lot. And she's the most gracious and warmest and kindest person and really, you know. I can vouch for that. Yeah, held my hand and we were such partners and she was just, and we started and we read a bunch, you know, early on and went through the script and she had so many great ideas for, you know, leading up to it.

43:53And then we went through this great rehearsal process together and did this workshop, which was super rad and where we got to know each other and that's why we know way too much about each other's lives. Really everything. And then we ended up, you know, yeah, when you're just in this, you know, in the scene, of course it occurred to me that I'm like, oh, wait, and I said this to Laura, like early on, I said like, you know, it's, for me, this is such a leap I'm again Laura you can plug your ears or whatever and I'm embarrassed you know she's Laura Dern Academy Award winning you know just super talent and and watching her it's like playing tennis with a with a great and it just it does nothing but just you know it raises all boats you know high time and but I was nervous and I expressed it I told her that and I said I you know I feel nervous and she was really really gentle with me you know it was Well, let me just say, this is a great privilege on Smartless because being a radical fan of all three of you, not to mention your incredible friendship and the way you can destroy or mock each other with so much love is an art no one else and no other friendship knows.

45:08but let me be the person who gets to be on Smart List to pay homage to Will's bravery because Sean was there with us. Yeah. And I know, Jason, you've seen it. Like, it is incredible. Yeah. Who he is, what he's willing to reveal, his vulnerability, his willingness to, yes, take my hand and for us to explore everything with each other for these characters and this, you know, 25-year relationship. But, oh, my God, the truth, the heartbreak that he exposes within himself and to me is, like, unparalleled. So it's me who has to say how blessed I was. Really, like, no bullshit to be staring in his eyes.

46:06and be forced to be honest and see myself in ways sometimes was not comfortable and also beautiful and revelatory. What a fucking actor people are. Even just the bravery, how it just started even early by Will just writing it with Chappie, like saying, I'm going to try to write a script and it's not going to be like silly shit. This is going to be like real stuff from the heart, like a drama, a raw drama. And then like expect it to be taken seriously and read by people that are like Academy Award winning and nominated people. And then they say, okay, we're doing it. Yeah. Yeah. And you're like, oh, just kidding.

46:54Just kidding. Yeah. And now I got to like be a great actor in this thing. Right, right, right. And then pulling that off too. Like it's just pretty fucking cool. So beautiful. Oh, thank you guys. Thank you. Can't wait. It was scary. There were a couple of great moments. And Laura, I tell you, we were making the movie and we were trying to get this scene. We had a crazy, trying to get this, trying to get this scene. We had a crazy day where we rehearsed all morning with the crew standing by. Just the scene towards the end of the movie? Yeah, and then we shot all afternoon. And it was tough. And we just, you know, it's one of those days where you're just swimming.

47:34You're like, did we get it? Are we getting it? Are we close? Or are we super far away? And are we just swimming even further away from what we want? And all this kind of stuff. And over the week, and it was a Friday. And so we wrapped late on the Friday night. And over the weekend, Laura and Bradley and I ended up having a bunch of conversations over the weekend. And Laura and I had this, it was, I don't know how you felt, but for me, that was such a turning point. And we had this really awesome, honest conversation about just all of it and being honest with each other about how we felt. And it was like this crazy turning point for us in the movie.

48:11Yeah. And from that point on, we were such partners. Yes. And I love that people respond to our relationship in the movie, but I will say that it was born out of real experience. Yes, a million percent. Yeah, you can tell the chemistry is real. Yeah, I love her. And it's interesting that we didn't get there because the first sort of half of the shoot, we were in this antagonistic dynamic. And so it was like when we had to truly face each other and be boundaryless about who we were, then, you know, and you really held my heart in it. And, you know, I said stuff, you know, that's what's incredible, right?

49:01In these intimate relationships. As you were talking about, Jason, like there we are in this familial story that we're trying to tell all together, but that we were truly the most honest I've ever been with someone. Me too, ever. And I remember we showed up, we shot this scene that's not in the movie where we go to the hospital. It was the first thing on Monday. and we all and we so we had this great conversation a couple conversations and we showed up and it was like from that moment on it was just unreal like that that scene it just didn't work in the movie the scene is fucking great yeah and it was like oh it just changed everything it was really wild and for me anyway it was the first time I've experienced it me too can we enjoy that scene on DVD extras yeah I'm gonna load it up on the internet pretty soon okay great don't you miss DVD extras I do miss DVD extras and And Sean and Scotty.

49:53I mean, what miraculous best friends. I know. I mean, Will actually has them in his life. I just pretended. And you were the best friends I'd ever had. We ended up on a group text. I felt so excited and proud. Yeah, it was really good. Yeah, yeah. I love that. The first day we showed up, Willie was so sweet. He said, I feel like my family just showed up on set. It was very kind. It's true. Yeah, it was so fun. Sean had to do, Sean does this scene, by the way. I don't know if you've told this. Sean does this scene Laura knows I mean so we're in the Oyster Bay house and he's got to he and Scotty have to go and it's a stretch they had to go in and raid the fridge at night for all the like terrible soup and ice cream right all right and you're on the couch trying to sleep and so they're supposed to be and Bradley's like and he goes like yeah I think they're kind of high and whatever yeah Sean eats a gummy and so all day he's trying to time when he's going to eat the gummy on that scene wow really Seany yeah thank you Thank you.

50:50He kept going to me like, do you think it's too early if I eat it right now? Because I want to eat it right when we shoot it, right? Laura, I want to know like who other than the three of us, because I know that's what you would joke around and say, but truly, because you've been around it since you were a kid, who were you starstruck the most by growing up or recently or anything, or do you even get it? And I always ask Jason that too, because you guys obviously grew up in the business and I didn't. And so I'm always like, wow. I'm still like, wow, wow. wow, and I know you guys are too, but like who is, is there a person recently or even when you were younger, you were like, okay, I can't believe I'm working with this person or I'm meeting this person.

51:30I don't know about you, Jason. I feel like, sometimes I feel like I'm the most starstruck and maybe because the equity for mastering something or loving something was all about movies in my family. So if I meet heroes, I lose my mind. But it's movie actors and directors and musicians big time, too. Oh, musicians, yeah. Meeting music heroes is a big deal. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah, yeah. What is that about musicians and athletes and actors? They all kind of want to be one another. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because it's a world you're not in. So it's like, wow, yeah, I get that. It's a crazy thing. But I think for me, like meeting heroes of another time was always such a huge gift.

52:24Like Alexander the Great? Alexander the Great was huge. Oh, well, I told you that story. Like I said, he knows all my stories. You had said. No, because I remember when Rashida Jones was on, I was like, she just grew up with like Michael Jackson coming over for dinner. I'm like, that's crazy. I'm like, what? I know. But I've become friends. Can I say that? Which is insane and so privileged with Carol Burnett because I produced this show, Comrielle, and like working with her, knowing her. And even though she knew my mom and, you know, there are these crossover things, but when you have your own relationship with these legends that raised you on their talent, raised you on their shows, that's crazy.

53:06Actually, I did just find, and Jason will relate to this, because it was of an era that we grew up around. My mom's Battle of the Network Stars Award. No way. CBS won when she was on the team. Yes. No way. And it was such a, I became such a fan. I was like, oh my God, Battle of the Network Stars. This is like the greatest award. I can't believe I have her Battle of the Network Stars Award. Because you realize it's the way things entered your living room. Like Lucy, there will never be a greater hero. It was the greatest show, right? I mean, why don't they bring that goddamn show back? I know. Maybe we talked about it for a minute.

53:52Didn't we talk? And we talked, we actually, we were at a dinner with Ted Sarandos telling him they should make Battle of the Network stars. Right, Battle of the Platform stars, right? Yeah, the streaming stars. Yeah, the streaming stars. Exactly. Netflix people against Amazon people, against Apple people, against HBO people. Oh, well, yeah. Killer. How great would that be? Netflix has Squid Game, guys. But then what would you put it on? What platform would get to air it? We know who's winning. Tubi. Tubi. I'll put it on Tubi. Jason, do you? I'm not sure. Do I have Tubi?

54:25That's such an old reference. Not Tubi. That's an old Smartless reference, which is a weird thing to say. An old ride. Yeah. Oh, man. Laura, I could just touch it all day. Save it for the sequel, you guys. Yeah. Oh, we've already discovered our... Yeah, it's called Is This Thing Still On? We've discussed Is This Thing Still On? And then you came up with the title for the third or fourth film. Which one? What was it? Like, somebody turn this thing the fuck off or something. Oh, yeah. Somebody please turn this thing off. Please turn this thing off. That's hilarious. The final adventure. Say the date when the movie comes out again so we know.

55:07December... 19th. December 19th. December 19th. December 19th is this thing on starring the great Laura Dern. Will Arnett. Yeah. And Sean Hayes. Sean Hayes and Scott Isnogel, Andrew Day, Bradley Cooper, and a Bradley Cooper film, This Christmas. Take your heart on a... Can I do my own trailer? Please do. Please. Take your heart. Take your heart on a funny bone. Dried. A funny bone. What? Every once in a while, a film comes along that'll touch your heart. And then I feel good.

55:47That's literally every trailer. I know. We were like in the 80s. Every trailer did that. Laura, we love you. Thank you. Laura, we love you. We love you. I love you guys. I'm so honored to be on this brilliant, incredible ride that is called Smartless and your guys' friendship makes me so happy. It's overdue. I know. I guess we had to time it to your release and everything. I know, it was long overdue. We had to wait. We had to wait. We've been talking about this since March. But Laura, I will see you really soon. I love you. I love you too. I love all of you. I love you back. Literally, I'm seeing you instantly.

56:21I think we're like taking it on the road. As soon as you're done on your adventure right now. I'll see you in London. I'll see you in London. Lovely. And I'll see you guys very soon, I hope. Yeah, it's some sort of a holiday party or something. I'm sad we aren't making Ozark anymore, but I know we're the other thing. learn your future please God you know what I got last night when we were waiting we were at the valet real Hollywood moment and Ed Sheeran came over to Jason Bateman Jason was complaining because the guy lost his ticket for his ride it was great I almost threw my wig at him don't make me snap this off and I was making it work because he's legit frustrated I'm like look at Bateman he's gumming up the line and stuff he was not happy and then Ed Sheeran came over and said oh man I love Ozark and they gave him a hug and they hugged.

57:10Oh, that's nice. Did you know that was Ed Sheeran? You don't know anything. I did. I figured it out. No, of course. And then you handed him your wig as a thank you. And I said, let me sign this for you. It was right there on the netting. A Sharpie will work on the netting. That's cool. On the label. Uh-huh. Oh, God. He's a label maker as well for his wigs. I love you guys love you Laura Dern I love you guys so much we'll see you soon and I'll send you the fire so soon we'll see you very soon Laura we love you love you thanks guys for having me bye bye bye guys that Laura Dern how lucky did you did you and Bradley get by getting her I mean it's just like so dependent on somebody that kind of comes out of the screen as like someone you just you want to make an emotional investment in.

58:07You can't help but love her. And also the pedigree. The pedigree and she's just... And the talent and the history. She's got no choice in the talent. She's one of those people. It's just in her. I mean, before I knew her, for years and years and years and years and years, we would go, how you durn? Because of her. Really? Oh, you'd say that to your friends? Remember those times? Yeah, remember that? How you durn? Yeah. No? No, we weren't in Glen Ellyn, Illinois, man. Yeah. I've been nose-hersed. What humor in that region. Are you smelling your fingers? Did you just pull out a fucking nose hair?

58:40Hey, why don't you just, by the way, every time I see you, you've got like these fucking apples coming out of your nose. What is going on the fucking... Get a nose hair tremor. The MSG has gotten to you. Are you drunk on MSG from the Chinese food? What's happening? No, it's hanging out. I know, but you guys get, you have them too. Sure, but I attack them with a nose hair. We're going to be out of here in a minute. Next time Scotty comes in to reapply your lip balm, Have him whack a few hairs out of your nose. Okay, I put it on the list. Is it coming out of your ears too? No, I never get it out of my ears.

59:13Really? Yeah. She did, though, mention, Laura did mention the word laterhosen. I always want to say, you know, the same thing of laterhosen, right? It's kind of the same thing as saying, you know. Laterhosen? Well, I mean. Like, bye-bye, Hosen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, bye, Hosen. Bye, Hosen. That's what I'm saying. Or bye, Hoser. That's what we say. Bye, Hoser. Bye, Hoser. Oh, giver. Bye, Hoser. Bye, Hoser. Bye, Hoser. Bye, Hoser. Bye, Hoser. Yep. Smart. Nice.

59:54Smart. Nice.

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