"Paul Giamatti"

23:35There's a lot of them I really remember nicely that way. And it's not necessarily the movie. It's the experience too. Is there one in particular? There's a movie I did called The Illusionist, which is about a magician and stuff like that. I really liked making that movie. It was in Eastern Europe. It was in Prague, which was fun to be in. Beautiful. And I enjoyed making that movie. That wasn't Christopher Nolan, was it? No, that's The Prestige. Yes. At the same time, two magician pictures came out simultaneously. Yeah, I remember at the same time. How did you like working in Prague? Man, that is a beautiful time.

24:11Great. I loved it. It was fantastic. What film do you think, and this would be a very hard thing for you to answer, but which film do you think was the most helpful to you in your career? because I feel like every single job you've done has been extremely prestigious and really, really like... Did Will say you've been nominated only once for an Oscar? For an Oscar. Yeah, but I feel like every single part of the play. But like 12 Years a Slave, Romeo and Juliet, Saving Mr. Banks, Downton Abbey. Well, those are all amazing. 12 Years a Slave was an amazing movie to me. Yeah, all of those are incredible.

24:45But any one of those jobs you would think an actor would go, okay, now my career is made. Right. You know? I guess so. But I mean, I think something like Private Parts actually was the first time I ever did anything with real... Just for my sister, Tracy, Private Parts is the Howard Stern movie about his life. Just so... Where Howard really convincingly and to great acclaim plays himself, which is very unusual. He was great. He was so good. He was really great at it. He was terrific. Paul, it does occur to me that Private Parts actually was a kind of a kicking off point. And of course you were a working actor, but that kind of opened you up to a whole, because it was such a big commercial success.

25:23Yeah, I'd only really done theater stuff up until then. I'd done little bit parts in a lot of stuff, in a lot of TV shows and TV movies and stuff like that. So that was the first time I had anything substantial to do in a movie. Did that lead to Saving Private Ryan? I don't remember which one of those came first. Maybe, but Saving Private Ryan was just... No, Saving Private Ryan was years after Private Parks. I don't... Was it? I don't even... This is what's weird. And this is where I feel like my mind, my brain is going. You're also a guy, I bet every single film would love to have you be a part of that film because of what...

25:56They were a year apart. I just looked it up. Really? What it says to the community or the industry about what our film is. Like, we have Paul Giamatti in this film. I do. So don't even submit your, you know, this person or that person. I appreciate that and I like it. But I don't see it. I know you don't. I mean, that's very nice of you to say. I feel the same thing about you gentlemen I feel the same way about you Don't even try it No no I'm sincere and honest You're keeping a little of them When they say I made a movie They're like oh great it's going straight to video That's good now we know I've been in plenty of stuff I've been in plenty of stuff like that That's for sure But Paul you know what's funny is And I love I feel like there have been all these Through the decades that you've been working in film There have been all these moments, like saving private parts.

26:49And then in the 2000s, it was sideways, which really was so, and I joked that it killed the Merlot business single-handedly. It did, actually. But it kind of did, right? It did, yeah. It actually did, I think. Yeah, it seemed so. How so? I've seen that movie 50 times. Because of how disparagingly you guys talk about Merlot? Yeah. That it's just sort of like for the Philistines? Yeah. Oh, dude. Yeah. Yeah, Paul, even at the mention of Merlot, the look of disgust on your face. The guy goes crazy. Which, yeah. I have no idea. I knew nothing about wine. I know nothing about wine. I don't, you know.

27:30You don't drink it? Not particularly, no. It kind of gives me a headache. What's the drink that you like? I like tequila. I like mezcal. Those are the two things that I like a lot. All right. Paul, is it a problem? Go ahead. We can talk about it. Yeah. Do you love it? At this juncture, I do love it. And at this juncture, it's not a problem. I'm still in the love phase. I'm in the honeymoon phase still with tequila and mezcal. So everything's fine. I took a sniff out of somebody's. Somebody had a beautiful glass of tequila on the rocks yesterday that I took a sniff of. I swear to God, I went into a time machine.

28:08By the way, I watched Jason put his nose in the glass. I was knee deep into my 20s. I was going pretty fast on a highway. And there were all kinds of things in my pocket. You got a candle on the dashboard. Candle on the dashboard. Remember that? Paul, Jason used to drive with a lit candle on his dashboard. Because he wanted the cops to stop him so bad. I should have put a Kojak light on my roof. You should have had the little light to just pop up on the roof. Why aren't you driving a lit candle? What was the idea? For nighttime or was it lit all the time? Paul, it was just, I guess I just, I was blind to my douchiness and I was looking for Atmo, you know?

28:48Jason, when you, when you, when you smell, when you smell that tequila thing and it took, it was like a time machine, do you, is there like a desire to drink it? Are you just like, ah, it was nice to smell it, but I don't have any desire. Yeah, no, not anymore. Cause I did it. And that, and I was thinking about it at the time. I was thinking, let's do this until you're sick of it because you don't want to be doing this when you're in your forties or fifties. Oh, At the level I was doing it. That's how you thought at the time. At the time, yeah. Really? You had that foresight to say, I get it out of the way now.

29:17Yeah, I'm a real black or white guy. Can I be honest with you? That's how I feel about whenever I make a cake, I eat so, I'm not even kidding, I eat so much of it so that I don't ever want it for a long, long time. It also makes all the cake go away, so you can't have any more. Do you, gentlemen, do you drink at all now? I don't drink anymore. All three of us don't. None of you drink anymore. That's odd. No, Sean doesn't. No. Wait a second. Sean, you don't drink? How do I not know that? Jay, because New Year's Eve two years ago. Oh, right. When you were playing games. Sean disappeared. Sean was doing bits.

29:52Paul, this is true. We were at our friend's house, and we kept pimping Sean out to do various bits. So he's standing up. It's true. And Sean's doing bits, and he's dancing, and he's doing all these moves, and he's doing impressions of people. And we're all sitting at the table like a monkey. But he was hilarious, and we were dying. And then all of a sudden, he wasn't around. and somebody goes, where's Sean? And he went to the hospital. Oh, my God. Yeah, he had Scotty driving to the hospital. You had palpitations? What happened? Did you have, like, palpitations? I get AFib brought on by alcohol.

30:21Oh, my God. And so I would just deal with it. I wouldn't know when it comes on. Like, it would come on once or twice a year. Wait a second. I could be at the grocery store. So you would have it regularly? Yeah. Like, once or twice a year. And I could be at the grocery store. I could be at a party. I could be anywhere. I could be at church. He's got his own entrance at Cedars. He's got a special back door. It's in the dock. And now Jimmy Kimmel calls me paddles because I would go so many times to the ER. And they would clear, and get my heart back to right now. Yeah, and then he FaceTimed back to the party.

30:55He says, guys, I'm okay. It's just on schedule here. So you just quietly took yourself off to the hospital? Yeah. That's beautiful. Yeah, his set was done. That's very thoughtful of you. He's been known to. Paul, he's been known to. in the middle of the night, go to the hospital and not even wake his husband, Scotty, up. And then come home. And then he tells Scotty the next day that he was at the hospital. Because you've had these heart palpitations. Well, amongst others. Atrial fibrillation. But amongst others. He's a hypochondriac. He likes to be taken care of. That doesn't sound like hypochondriac.

31:28This sounds like a real thing. No, no, Paul. He had his own podcast called Hypochondriactor. Okay? He's a hypochondriac. He loves it. I understand. I think I used to be one. I'm kind of a recovering one. I'm not as bad as I used to be. Really? Yes, I used to be. How'd you get over it? I'm not exactly sure. I think I outgrew it. Well, what is a hypochondriac? Like, officially, it's somebody who's irrationally afraid of germs? No, no, no. Or worried about their health, concerned with their health. Yeah, yeah. And a kind of constant monitoring of your health all the time. And making sort of these leaps if they have a sort of a...

32:03And I fight against, I think everybody has that to a certain degree. And I've had it before, too. Yeah, the older you get, too, right? And I had this thing recently where I had, Jay, I was telling you about, remember, I didn't play golf and I had this sort of pain. I was like, and I'm like, you know what, motherfucker? It's just gas and relax and give yourself a break. Oh, yeah, what was it? And it went away. You're joking. Oh, really? I'm not kidding. Like, in that moment, it just vanished. And I just took it easy for a couple days and I was just like, you know what? Just stop giving it so much fucking credence and stop thinking about yourself and do something else.

32:31You also said you had a three-minute fart. On the backside of that, you felt great. That is true. If I eat hummus, that happens. You have a terrible gas. The valve just gets stuck open. Just no. For the longest one forever. Yeah. I would love to go with you to the Mediterranean somewhere and just get you onto a hummus diet and watch it all fall apart. I would be, please excuse my friend. I'm so sorry. That's amazing. Paul, I was going to, the other thing I wanted to bring up was. Sure, yes, please. And going through all, and I don't want to go through all your credits, but one of the things. God, no.

33:12And I've been such a fan of yours for a long time, and I even, and I'm a fan of yours despite the fact that you're friends with Thoreau. Oh, that's right. Oh. I've made a. What's the deal with Thoreau? Well, we don't know. He's one of our best friends, but we love to throw as much at him as we can. We really do. So let's have your best material now. No, that's interesting. Throw it at us. Beautiful, Sean. No, no, no, I haven't seen him in ages. I haven't seen him in a long time. You're better off. Probably. I think I probably am too. He adamantly will not return my calls, my texts, nothing. Does he do this to you guys?

33:47You may have a wrong number for him. He's usually pretty good. He likes contacting connection. He loves doing text bits. Not with me. Loves his bits on the text. Not with me. Not with me, he doesn't. Jason gets really mad with text bits, I've noticed. Well, it's just I don't want to participate. I mean, I'm happy to observe, but then I'm constantly feeling like, oh, God, everyone is contributing and emoji-ing and double-click thumbs up or ha-ha. And if I don't, I'm a dick. I hope that people just assume I put my phone down. No, I know. I know that. I feel the same way. But I put my phone down, right?

34:30So they just think I'm not seeing it, right? I agree. Yeah, I agree. Pauly, any good? Oh, is it Pauly now? Yeah. Pauly. No, it's fantastic. That's amazing. I want to be a Pauly with you. No, no, I appreciate it. Give me one good theater story. Just something went horribly wrong. Here he comes. That's a tough thing. Did you ever forget your lines, Paul? Go ahead, Sean. No. No, a guy, speaking of heart attacks, a guy had, I was doing a show once, and a guy, I was in a little black box experimental theater in Seattle, where I moved out to Seattle and I started acting out there. And a guy got up in the second row.

35:10I was watching him, and I was on stage doing this long monologue, 40-minute monologue. Oh, my God. Doing a monologue and watching the guy in the second row. Yeah, no, I had an eye on the guy because he was getting really dopey looking. And I thought, something's wrong with this guy. I mean, it was close quarters, a little shitty little experimental theater. And he got up and climbed over the guy in front of him, came up on stage, pissed and shat himself and dropped. No way. And he'd had a heart attack. I didn't realize he'd had a heart attack until, and I was playing in the show. You thought it was just your performance?

35:46Well, people thought it was the show because in the performance I was playing a, what do you call it, the guy who puts his hands, you know, a faith healer. A healer. A healer. I was playing a healer. And, you know, and I suck at improv-ing and things like that. I could have been a golden moment for me, but I didn't. But I sort of knelt down, and they came up and got the guy off. I heard later, actually years later, I didn't even know that he'd had a heart attack, a small heart attack. No way. That's about it, Sean. That's not a great story. That's an amazing story. That's amazing. It's one of the best ones we've ever had.

36:19And you're like, I don't know if I got anything. I had a guy who had a heart attack. Shitting and pissing himself was the relief. Now, is that common, by the way, when you have a heart attack to empty? I think he was also kind of having a... Yes, that's true. Is it? Do you evacuate fully when you have a heart attack? Or is it just frontal? When you have a cardiac event? I've never heard about pooing when you have a heart attack. I think maybe it can happen. Well, yeah. You might lose, like, your faculties or whatever. Wait, but the guy lives? That's a whole different thing, though. I think he did, yes.

36:50Yeah, okay. Well, he was on stage with you. Did he? He was on stage with me for a while, yeah. That's crazy. I don't know. I don't know if there's anybody who enjoys pooping or talking about it more than Bateman. Bateman says to me today, he texts me, he goes, hey, can you play golf on Thursday? I said, no, I can't because I'm getting a colonoscopy on Friday. So Thursday's my prep day. And I said, let me know. I'm going to be at home in that prep phase. I go, let me know if you want to come by and observe. And he wrote, very kind. What's the latest to let you know?

37:26I'm just not sure if my Thursday's going to fill up, you know. You finally had one? I'm having it this week. I'm on Friday. Oh, you are? It's actually fantastic. Listen, I can tell you, I enjoy the hell out of it. It's really, I enjoy it. That little Twilight thing they send you off into? And you wake up real chatty, too. I had a bunch of jokes for the doctor. And then the rest of the day, are you exhausted the rest of the day? You're good to go. You feel fresh. I felt very fresh. Paul, I've said this on this podcast a couple of times. You will need a shower, Will. But when I got my colonoscopy and my bare ass was hanging out, right when they put the anesthesia in my arm, they said, count back to 10.

38:03I go, 10, 9. Oh, I feel it. And right when I passed out, I go, whatever you do, don't touch my asshole. And then I passed out. And you got that out. That all got out. And I heard laughing as I went out. Beautiful. That's a beautiful experience. Will, it reminds me of one of my favorite jokes, right? Guy walks into a... He's going to ruin it. He's going to ruin it. I know that. I think I know the joke. No, please, please, please. I like this joke, too. I think I know what it is. The guy leans over the table and he drops his pants and he's ready for his exam. And the doctor comes in and the doctor says, Okie doke, Jerry, this time no hard-on.

38:40And the patient turns around and he says, My name's Andrew. And the doctor says, I'm Jerry. No, that's not even close, Jason. It's not. It's so fucking terrible. I just want you to tell this. That actually confused me. It was confusing. Paul, Paul. How do I always mess this up? No, I'm confused now. It wasn't the joke I thought it was going to be, and I'm confused now. Paul, you should know we both got quiet because we wanted to let him hang himself because he has tried to tell this joke 30 times. It's my favorite joke. And it's so embarrassing. On this show? He's got like 20 times on the show.

39:13On the show, on the golf course, at dinner. and he does it all the time. How did I mess that up? One time he taught it, he went like this. One time he said, he goes, and the guy comes in and he says, don't get a heart on Kevin. And Kevin says, my name's not Kevin. And I go, Kevin says my name's not Kevin. Wait, but I think I was conscious of that this time and I think I said it right. No, I don't think you did. The guy's on the table. Someone was really puzzling about that. The doctor walks in. The doctor walks in. What happened? The doctor walks in and he says, and the guy says, okay, Jerry, don't get a heart on this time.

39:50And the patient goes, my name's not Jerry. And the doctor goes, no, my name is Jerry. Very good. I just punched it up. I said, I'm Jerry. I'm throwing an extra name in there. It confuses it. I have to say, I'm Jerry's good. I like just I'm Jerry. That's funny. By the way, leave it to me. You made it longer and more complicated. And unfunny. I'm Jerry's funny. That's a funny joke I have to say It's a very funny joke If you give it time It really is Yeah Don't give it Hard on Jerry And Andrew Who's actually related Who grew up with Jerry's cousin They went to the They're from the same town Says Listen This is why we need our writers This is why we need our writers It's true You really feel the lack of writing Don't you We do need our writers You're right We do love our writers Jason who told you that joke You?

40:38Sean Sean told you that joke So speaking of our writers One of the things I love, so this is what I was getting at before. And I've, again, it goes without saying how much I enjoy watching you perform. I appreciate it. I'm a legit fan. And, but in the last couple of years, the thing that I've really loved watching you in is Billions. And I think that that is a performance that is so, just deserves so much more acclaim. And there's a specific, and for people who haven't watched it, it's really great. And it's Paul and it's Damien Lewis and amongst a million other really great people. I've never wanted to.

41:14I've heard nothing but great things about it. So great. I know. And I love me some Damien Lewis, too. I think he's just outstanding. Yeah, he's great. But you, Paul, have this moment in the end of one of the seasons where you're left on the bed. I don't want to ruin it. I mean, it's a few years old, but you're left on the bed, and you are crying because it seems like your world has imploded. And as the camera comes around, it reveals that you're laughing. And it was one of the great— I thought it was such an incredible device. It was a device, if you will. Smart episode, yeah. But it was a fucking brilliant episode.

41:50That's good. I didn't even see it. Oh, thanks. It was such a small target for you to hit. Yeah, because an actor would read that in the script, and then you'd have to think, okay, well, how could I laugh that could believably sound like crying? It was tricky. It's a master class. Unfortunately, some of it was on my back. Yeah. That's actually what made some of it easier, was it was on my back. So it was like I could do sort of like making it look like I was hunched over laughing or something. But I think actually part of it is too, when I start laughing, I start crying actually. So it actually, it wasn't, you know.

42:23And I can get, I'm able, making yourself laugh is tricky actually. It can be. But I feel like it's like faking a sneeze or something like that. Like it's hard to make an authentic sounding sneeze. Oh, it is hard to do it. Are you a good crier? Can you cry on cue? Sometimes I'm not necessarily I'm not one of those people that can do it on cue And I'm not one of those people that's like Which eye do you want kind of thing Laura Linney knows how to do that Oh my god My mom could nail that in a second But wait a minute Because she only had one eye Paul Oh Did she have tears out of the fake eye? No, fake eye She couldn't afford that one That one came with a pump It was a hole in her head There's a hole in her head.

43:10So there's no form. I'm sorry. Did she lose the eye in some way? Yeah, she was two. When she was two years old, she had cancer. Tracy found it and brought it to the show. We actually had, we both, we've all three of us have held her eye. We did it on stage in Wisconsin. Her actual eye and formaldehyde or her glass eye? Yeah, her glass eye. Wow, that's amazing. Paul, is there like a, are you somebody who seeks out, like develop things for themselves? Are you just an actor who's just like, you know what, my agent, just call me when there's something that you feel is right. Otherwise, I'm not going to go find a writer, put this thing together, right?

43:47It was more that kind of thing for a long time. I made some, like, not unsuccessful attempts to produce some stuff. Not even necessarily stuff for me to be in. And I managed to make some movies. And I did a television show that I then appeared in called Lodge 49 that nobody watched. and it's a nice show. Oh, yeah, tell me about that show. It's a really good show. It's a really good show. And yeah, it was on for two seasons on AMC and nobody watched it, but it was a good show. And just because the writer, I met the guy and I read the thing and thought, oh, wow, somebody should help this guy make this thing because it's really great.

44:24But I haven't, only lately now, and as I finish Billions, I've actually been doing a podcast because for the past couple of months. Which I was going to get to, yeah. Oh, great. And that was something that I did develop with a guy that I know who is a philosopher and there's animation in it and stuff like that. That's kind of the first thing that I feel like I really did on my own. Oh, that's cool. And that podcast is Chinwagging, is that right? It's called Chinwag, yeah. Chinwag, Chinwag. What does that mean? What is a Chinwag? It's like a, I think it's a British term for like just shooting the shit.

44:54Oh, I never heard that. Yeah. Wagging your chin. And it's a comedy podcast, but you get into all sorts of different areas. You talk about... UFOs and ghosts and Bigfoot and shit like that. Yeah, because I like stuff like that. I do too. And I was like, you know what? I'm tired of not talking about Bigfoot and doing shit about UFOs and ghosts. Yeah, yeah. I really was. I really am. Really? Do you watch Ancient Aliens? I do watch Ancient Aliens sometimes. I love it. I love that show. I love it. What about how the universe works? No, no, I haven't seen that. What's Ancient Aliens? Yeah, what is Ancient Aliens?

45:29On History Channel. It's on History Channel. Yeah. What are they? It's all about conspiracy theories about, like, why civilizations just died out. Like, the Mayans is like, or the Egyptians. It's like, all this stuff happens and then it's just done. Chariots of the gods. It's all about UFOs visited Earth back in the day and they built the pyramids and all this kind of stuff. And we have legitimate people sort of espousing on these theories and, yeah? Fairly legitimate in their field. They're legitimate in their field. Is that a degree you can get fairly legitimate? Yes. History channel level. So Shatner actually was on, was Shatner on Ancient Aliens?

46:04Okay, I'm in. Yes, he was, he was. And we actually talked, I talked to Shatner. He was the captain of a spaceship, so yeah, he's quite legitimate. Yeah, yeah. And we will be right back.

46:20And now back to the show. Paul, do you, so what have you gleaned from these episodes about, say, for instance, UFOs? What's your feeling about it? Well, I'm a believer. I've never seen anything like this, but I'm a believer. And stuff is super weird now. I mean, all the weirdness now of the government saying they exist. They just opened up a new division. They just did, yeah. They did, but I'm confused. It's like on the one hand, a bunch of guys say they're real, and then they walk that back very quickly, and it's really confusing. And NASA just, is it in NASA that they just opened up a new thing?

46:55I don't know. Jason's right. I read that too. that there's some part of the government is opening a new... They're doing... And if it had any teeth to it, if they were really curious about it, I would think they would not tell us. They would let us know when they were done. You would think. Much like the intelligence community. It's odd, though. We had Neil deGrasse Tyson on our show ages ago, right? One of the first episodes we did, and he made the point that if these things, these supernatural or extraterrestrial visits or all these things were actually occurring. We live in a time where people take something like a billion photographs a day and videos pointed in every direction, and yet there's no...

47:39There's nothing. Because they don't want to be found. There's lots of videos that they can't describe. And they are. The Navy. Well, the Navy videos are pretty remarkable. Yeah, but don't you think we live in a world now, too, that if there was actual proof... You could hide it. That people would be... Well, no, I think we live in a culture now where people would be like, Yeah, that's kind of cool. Anyway, what are you guys doing? They could give a shit. Don't give a shit. Well, actually, just bury it. It would just get buried in the avalanche of shit that's out there all the time. That's right.

48:05We just end up as just like a really non-consequential, like TikTok, like, I went with my family this weekend, and we saw a UFO. Yeah. You know, in that mechanical voice. I love when I stumped that smart scientist, Degrass Tyson, on my whole mirror. How'd you do that? Oh, you should go back and have a listen. It's a real great listen. Yeah. Did you tell him the hard-on joke and see if he understood it. I have not yet heard that joke. Here you go, scientist. See if he can figure this one out. Who's named Kevin and who's Andrew? Smart man. Jason was trying to figure out. What is your stump in with?

48:41He was trying to figure out about figuring out if you could. Time travel. Time travel, and if you put a mirror far enough away, could you see. It was about the speed of light. The speed of light, and would you be able to see. But the question was so long and involved, You could see Neil deGrasse Tyson, who really is a big brain guy, figures out a lot of stuff. Glazing and really becoming quite confounded. And then you could see him because he was getting angry that he was having to spend so much time with a dumb duck. And at which point I said, Neil, do you think that they could build a telescope big enough that you could go back in time through mirrors to see the beginning of Jason's question?

49:17Nice. That he liked. We earned him back on that one. We earned him back. Very good. I'm so into that, Paul. So Billions is... Yeah, take a listen to it. Billions is over. I hope you like it. Yeah. Yes, it is. Now it's ending. Yeah, we just finished it. Now it's ending. Because you guys kind of... You stuttered, stopped, you stopped, and then you guys did another season. Is that kind of how it went? Well, the COVID thing, you know, shut everything down. And so we had... In the middle of the fifth season, then we finished that half in the sixth, and then we just did the seventh, and now it's done.

49:44Wow, good for you. Was that a great... A good, positive experience working in New York? Yeah. Oh, yeah. It was great. I mean, I was 15 minutes from my house And Mike, you know, it was nice I could be around my kid. He was a teenager and all of that was great. And the people were great. There was no assholes anywhere on it. It was great. Good for you. That's great. You know what I always say? If you look around, you can't find the asshole on a set. It's probably you. Yeah. You do say that. You do say that a lot. You do say that. Once a day. I'm looking forward. This reminded me of my colonoscopy.

50:17It's all about my asshole. Yeah. You know? Great. Way to bring it all back, guys. We have a classic guest with us today. What are you doing when you're not acting? What are you doing, like, to fill the time? God, it sounds like you're just reading that. No, I'm just trying to know. More robotic. Paul, what do you do when you're not acting? It's a little eerie. No, because I want to know because I know you're doing the podcast, but, like, what else? I do the podcast now, and I read a lot. I don't know. It's a little bit like I'm kind of, I don't have a job now, and I am a little anxious about it because I am a little bit, I think, of a workaholic, actually.

50:52Like, what will you do for the summer? Okay, again, I was going to say this. I have to do this podcast. So you're going to do the podcast. Yeah, and then I don't know. This is just terrible. I get all flummoxed. You walk across the Brooklyn Bridge. This is what I imagine your day is. You walk across the Brooklyn Bridge. You go get coffee. You go to the Strand. You might meet somebody for lunch. You walk back. You'll take a nap. You'll go for dinner. Maybe you'll go to Williamsburg. That's actually pretty accurate. Yeah, that's what I thought. That's terrifyingly accurate. That's actually pretty close.

51:20The thing that is very nice of what you do is that you work all the time so that we get to watch you. Like, I love that I can count on you being in something once a year at least. You know? That's been the case. I hate these great high-quality actors that are, like, so goddamn, like, I only want to work, you know, once every five years. Well, but they're picky. That's not a bad thing. You're very picky, though, too. It's just I feel like you – I think there's been more things that you haven't treated yourself to watching that I've done. Not at the highest quality. There's plenty out there. Paul, I know you're being very modest.

51:58I appreciate that, but I'm not – I should have been pickier in some ways. No, you're being very modest. And I will say – and I think what Jason is getting at is that you are – if I look at a film or a show that's coming out and I see Paul G, your name, I'm like, all right, this thing has a certain – They know it. Oh, I'm in good hands. I appreciate that. Yeah, it's true. It's true. Now, saying that, here are the list of things that you've done that I have not liked. Oh, right. Yeah. Because we like to end the show. That's awesome. Oh, I love that. I'm going to have to go alphabetical because the list is like.

52:31Excellent. No, but Paul, but I was going to say, you've done so many things. And we often ask people here, we're like, oh, what have you done? Like, you've done a lot of this. You've done a lot of that. What would you like to do? I mean, you've kind of done comedy. You've done drama. You've done period. Yeah. You've explored a lot of areas as an actor. Is there one zone that you like, that you feel really comfortable in, that excites you still? Well, I'd like to do more theater. That would be nice. I would like to do goofier comedic stuff, which I used to do a long time ago, and I haven't really gotten to do something like that in a long time.

53:10I'm not comfortable necessarily doing that at all. But goofy, I'll bet not winking, though, right? I'll bet like authentic sort of like Coen Brothers type of eccentric characters that are very funny but they don't know they're funny. Yes, that would be nice. Something like that. What if he wants to wink, man? No. What's with you and the non-winking? And winking would be like, what do you mean? Like winking like... Super broad and sophomoric and... You're overqualified for that. You think so? I don't know. Super broad and sophomoric. Do you guys still love to perform on film and TV? Do you still love it?

53:45do you still feel like it gives you the thing it always gave you do you feel it's a good question i was going to ask you the same thing good question um i'm curious it's like i love i just love i love a set i i just think it's i'm so comfortable on a set i love how many people it takes to make something i know but i really but i didn't know then how complicated it is to make fake life and how many people you need to actually get it done you know that it's not so you love it yeah I love it love it and you love the process of it and all that more than the product uh huh I get that you know to answer your question for me I think at this age it really now finally for the first time in my life it really really matters what it is because if I'm gonna spend all that time energy resources all of it I'm gonna I'm gonna give 110 % I agree and if it works right if it doesn't work right that's fine but as long as I believe in it I think that's my answer I feel the same way I feel like yeah Yeah, and life and kids and also just sort of feeling content on a day-to-day basis.

54:49I put such a premium on that. And being happy, I put such a premium rather than on work. And the last couple of years, I have not really done anything. I have not said yes to anything in a long time until this year. And that feels good. That's felt good. It feels really good. and there were things I maybe should have done, but I was just like, ah, I just didn't feel. But you don't regret it. No, and luckily was doing other stuff so I could, you know, continue to make a living and could afford to say no, but I just wasn't feeling it. I mean, you know, and Jay, I know that you feel, because you're doing so much more directing and you've had the opportunity, again, I don't want to speak for you, but it's as an observer that you do a lot of like, I don't want to do, you just want to do this stuff that excites you.

55:42Yeah. Yeah, I want to be, I really like being challenged because I know there's going to, I've had enough periods in my life where I'm not confident or I'm not feeling up to a challenge. And I know those times will occur again. So while I'm feeling eager to take off possibly more than I can handle, I want to take advantage of those moments. That's great. Yeah, for sure. Because I know I'm going to be a coward later again. Carl, what about you? the same question to you. Yeah, no, I think I feel a lot of the same things that you guys were just saying. But I feel like I'm a little bit in the place that you are, Will, where it's like, I think I just want to, and all of you guys, I just want to do the thing that is really going to matter because it's otherwise, I don't have the energy.

56:29I'm old. I'm getting old, man. And it's like, I'm with you. It's like, so I have to just, it's got to be something I really, really want to do. but it's been interesting doing other things too. It's like I'd like to, I would like to draw again. I would like to try to write. I don't know if I can fucking read. I read all the fucking time but I don't know if I can write something. You should. I would like to try, I'd like to try different things. You know, so I think I need to say no more and I think I need to just do the things I want to do for sure. Well, how about this? When you're done with your walk across the bridge to get the coffee and the dinner like Will said and you write a couple pages.

57:05I would try. You know what you should do? We should get over there to the Belasco Theater and see Shawnee and Goodnight Oscar. I would like to see you. I would very much like to see that. We're going to get you some house seats, Paul. I would very much like to see that. I would love to see that. Here's what's going to happen. I'm headed east at the end of this week, and I'm going to come to the city. We're going to go and have dinner, or we're going to have lunch. I would love that. Downtown, and then we're going to talk about what you're going to write. I would love it. For 3%, Will? You're offering his agenting for 3%.

57:32No, I'm just going to help him. It's going to be his idea. He knows how to write. That actually would be, I would welcome that. That would help me. It would help me. I need help. Have a conversation to get ideas going for himself. He doesn't need my help. It would help me. You're just offering your muse. Muse for hire. Why don't you call it, Paul, why don't you call it Mothcatcher? I like it. I like it too. Mothcatcher, fantastic. That's a start. That's a great start. Moth protector. Isn't that what I call it? Moth protector. It's a catcher. That's a moth trap. What's a moth trap? Moth trap. Moth trap.

58:05Moth Trap is actually, that's a good one. That's a good title. Is that a mousetrap? Thank you. That's a techno thriller. What was the last book that you read that really, that you were excited about that you really liked? Do you remember? I read a lot of like crappy mysteries is what I read. I read a lot of crappy thrillers and crappy mysteries and spy novels and stuff like that. Oh, I love spy novels. I read a lot of spy novels. I do too. I read a lot of stuff like that. That's the funny thing. I don't read much highbrow stuff actually. I read a lot of like spy novels. Yeah. I enjoy that stuff a lot.

58:32I really like stuff like that. Do you ever read any of those Len Dayton books? you know yeah that's what I just read are you kidding actually I was gonna say what I just read was a fucking Len Dayton book that's uncanny it is uncanny what you just did there and so the Bernie Gunther series right yeah so I read all nine of those yeah a couple summers ago those are fantastic you guys are fantastic yeah those are great I can see that Sean right are these guys gonna have a good lunch we are I just read a Len Dayton book you would be a great fucking Bernie Gunther I can see these two fucking clowns sitting on the Brooklyn Bridge Each with a book sitting on a bench.

59:06Not even talking to each other. No, no. Like some great old couple. So if you love those Lindy, I've got another series for you. I'll bring him a book. That would be fun. Bring him a book. That would be lovely. That would be lovely. Oh, my God. I'm so jealous. Please. By the way. Please. Paul, now what are we looking at? Just before we let you go, what are we looking at for the summer? If everything is kind of shut down, are you going to hit the beach? Are you going to get in the water? Are you going to, what are you going to do? I know you're on the swim team. Yeah, I was on the swim team. I'd like to get back in the water.

59:41Maybe I'll go up to Cape Cod or something like that. I don't have a home up there, but I would go up there, a main or something like that. Maybe somewhere like that. That would be nice. Well, let me just say this. There are a lot of people, a lot of really bougie people who listen to our show. Give me your email address right now. If you've got a real nice place, if you've got a nice spread up there in the Cape or one of the islands of Vineyard or Nantucket, and you'd like to have Paul Giamatti as your house guest for a few days. on our Instagram. Terrific. Somebody could host you. Let us know.

1:00:08And he's going to spend a lot of, during the day, don't bother him, he's reading Len Dayton books and he's going to be at the pool for dinner time. Don't approach him if he's in the middle of the chapter. glass of mescal. He's not going to drink your wine, but give him a nice glass of mescal. And then he'll discuss whatever you want. Awesome. Paul, you're welcome. Is that good? We've set up your summer for you. That's fantastic. Thank you. Thank you. By the way, By the way, all jokes, you're going to find yourself on a fucking yacht in the Mediterranean because of this. This is going to be incredible.

1:00:34Oh, shit. That would be great. That's the demographic? That's the audience? It's all yacht-o-air. That's existing right now? It's all air. It's a real yacht-y crowd. Fantastic. Paul, it is so nice to see you again. Well, it is a pleasure. And to echo what Will said, I'm here in the city for quite a while, so maybe we could grab a bite or something. Nothing would make me happier than to have lunch with you guys. I'm going to get your contact info from our guys. If that's okay, Paul, I'm going to reach out. Absolutely. Fantastic. It would be a pleasure. Okay. And Jason, when I'm out there sometime, we can have...

1:01:05Yeah, you guys FaceTime me from your lunch. Sure. Sure. Jason, we love you. We love you. I know. But Paul, I can't wait. We love you, Jason. Yeah, likewise. But Paul, I can't wait. It's going to be amazing. Likewise. Thank you, Paul. Such a pleasure to meet you, my friend. Yeah, real pleasure to meet you guys. Thanks for doing this. Thank you very much. Thanks a lot. My pleasure. We'll see you down the road. Bye, pal. Bye. Well, Will, it was worth the wait. Do you know him, Will? No, I feel like I met him briefly. I knew that he was friends with Thoreau. They're old friends. And like I said, I've always just been such an admirer of his.

1:01:42Yeah, the credits are just endless. And that's what I meant, right? He's an actor's actor. Like, we all as actors, we're like, you know, if you were doing something, they'd go, oh yeah, by the way, Giamatti's going to do it. You'd be like, oh man, this thing is really, this is a real blue chip event we got going here. Totally. And I met him once at the Golden Globes years and years and years ago. But I didn't get, you know, I didn't chat with him until right now. And talking to him at length now, you feel like he's one of those people like, oh, I feel like I've known him forever. Yeah. And he's the guy you'd give any part to.

1:02:12Yeah. Yeah, he really does have that just, there's something about him when he inhabits a character, you're just with him. Yeah. Yeah. And he brings so much sort of pathos to every character. I even enjoy watching his Verizon commercials when he's playing Einstein. I know. I can't believe we didn't bring it up. I was going to. I was going to. Shit, I totally forgot. When you play Santa Claus, right? Because his service was kaput. He's playing Einstein, you stupid fuck. Oh, Einstein. I thought it was Santa Claus. And his service was kaput. God, I wish we would have brought it up and you would have said, so when you play Santa in the Verizon commercial, you stupid dick.

1:02:47You stupid fuck. Listen, you know what, though? I didn't know he was in Brooklyn. He lives so close to the Belasco. Bye. Bye.

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1:03:29Smart Less. This episode was recorded on June 5th.