"RE-RELEASE: Emma Stone"

13:58Will Arnett:I'm down with that. You had a nice desktop. You could get out and into the living room and join the world. Get yourself a desktop.

14:06Sean Hayes:This is a great opportunity for a new segment I'm calling. JB, walk us through it. No, you don't want to follow my morning.

14:15Will Arnett:All right, so Emma, which one of your rad projects are we going to talk about today? There's so many. Okay. So you answer that first. I don't know. Which one would you like to talk about? I want to talk about her childhood. I want to talk about all these good stuff. I want to talk about it. It was your birthday last week. Happy birthday. Thank you so much. Yes. Thank you. Are we allowed to guess the age? Can we guess the age? Oh, this might be mean, but sure. Go ahead. No, no, no, no. Never. How about, I'm going to go with 24. Oh. 25. Will?

14:45Sean Hayes:I'm going to get real. Yeah, be real. I'm not going to play some. Will and I worked together when I was, I think, 19. Yes, that's true. Really? That was a long time ago.

14:54Will Arnett:That is true. Oh, he's going to win then. So wait, then Sean, you go next. Okay. I was going to say late 20s. That's very cute, Sean, and sweet. True. I really don't know. Are you truly north of 30? I'm north of 30.

15:05Sean Hayes:Oh, she is 37. Come on. 35. You're the closest by far. Oh, really? Yeah, 35. You give 35 a great name. That's so young. You don't look 37. I was just guessing based on what the information is. Okay, well, sure, well, okay. No, no, no. That's true. We did work. That was a long time ago. I know. What was the job?

15:26Will Arnett:Do you remember? It was called The Rocker.

15:29Sean Hayes:The Rocker. You didn't.

15:30Will Arnett:The Rocker. Wait, The Rocker I still need to see. And what was the other one I said I needed to see the other day? Hot Rod.

15:36Sean Hayes:All right. Well, let's not go through mine. Emma, go tell everybody who is in The Rocker. Nobody's seen it. Who is in The Rocker? I know. The cast is pretty hilarious. It was Rainn Wilson. Yeah. Jason Sudeikis. Yep. You, Bradley Cooper, Fred Armisen.

15:52Will Arnett:Yep. You. Who directed this? A guy named Peter Catanio who directed The Full Monty.

16:00Sean Hayes:Peter Catanio. Okay, yeah, yeah. John Glazer. John Glazer. Oh, yeah. The great John Glazer. Who did Hot Rod? Who directed Hot Rod?

16:09Will Arnett:That wasn't Yorma, was it?

16:10Sean Hayes:No, Akiva.

16:11Will Arnett:Yeah, gotcha.

16:12Sean Hayes:But the cast was pretty insane. It was pretty wild. Yeah, we were in Toronto. We were in Toronto. And I feel like you weren't there for that long. I was there for a couple months.

16:23Will Arnett:I was there for a week, maybe. And what kind of part were you playing, Emma? Well, I was playing the bass in a band that was fronted by... It was sort of a school of rock adjacent, would you say, Will?

16:36Sean Hayes:Yeah, yeah, I would. Kind of story. Willie, what were you playing? Oh, I played the lead singer of a hair band. True story. You guys gotta check it out. Bradley was the guitarist and Fred was the bassist. But it was fun. But yeah, I mean, you have not, I'm trying to think, you just have not stopped working and doing awesome stuff since the moment I became aware of you. You've just been like consistently just doing cool thing after cool thing, great film after great film. It's pretty remarkable. Not a lot of people. And rare.

17:14Will Arnett:Basically saying you haven't done anything as shitty as The Rocker since The Rocker is what Will is saying. I've done way worse movies than The Rocker since The Rocker.

17:21Sean Hayes:Oh, my God. Subjective. I think, maybe. Yeah, that's great. It is good. Let's not go too deep through the IMDb or whatever. I met you once very briefly. You were so kind years and years ago. Blah, blah, blah. You'd never remember. I think it was at SNL. But I was like, oh, my God, that's Emma Stone. And then so when I did my research for today, I didn't know that your name was Emily. I want to know these guys I know why it's called Emma but I want you to tell these guys why you changed it to Emma and then I also want to know about your dog bakery thing that you worked at because I have a friend who lives in Arizona who has a company it's a dog poop company she picks up poop dog poop you just call her and she picks up but it was in Scottsdale oh that's where I'm from I know that's amazing that's amazing well my name was have you noticed there's been less dog poop around when you go home you know Now that you mention it.

18:13Sean Hayes:I can't gauge how Sean's friends do. I mean, it used to be absolutely everywhere. Just piles of it.

18:18Will Arnett:But her gig is just, she's just a freelance. She just goes around town. Freelance poop. And she's looking for just spare poop that's unclaimed and unpicked up. Sure, yeah. You call her up if you don't want to pick up your dog poop. It's called Poop Patrol. Sherry's Poop Patrol. Who's compensating her? The city? Her clients.

18:34Sean Hayes:People who don't want poop on their lawn, man. Yeah. Wait, I'm confused. Wait. So you call her just to, so you just let your dogs kind of run free on your own lawn like all week and then Poop Patrol comes and picks everything up. That's right.

18:49Will Arnett:A gardener comes over, picks up the poop. Yeah. Like, instead of blowing the leaves and stuff, there's a poop. Yeah, she picks up the poop.

18:56Sean Hayes:Huh. Wow. I don't know, 30 jokes in there? I didn't know where to... Well, that's kind of why I brought it up.

19:03Will Arnett:It's such a funny job. You take a tight five and gather them and then come back to us. But wait, a dog bakery? You worked at a dog bakery when you were a teenager? Okay. I worked at a dog bakery when I moved to L.A. when I was 15 called Three Dog Bakery at the Farmer's Market. At the Grove? At the Grove. I used to go there. You worked there? Yes. Oh, my God. I mean, not for long, for like maybe six months. Wow. So wait, Shawnee, this was pre-Ricky? Yeah, this was years ago, years and years ago. This was when I was 15, 20 years ago. Yeah, that's when I had my two other dogs. I used to go there to shop for them.

19:36Do you think that we ever ran into each other then?

19:40Sean Hayes:Probably. Maybe. Huh. I think word would have gotten out that Will and Grace's Sean Hayes was there. I think you're right. I think I would have told everybody. Guaranteed. You probably should. Oh, my God. Okay, so I must not have been working those hours.

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23:24All right, back to the show. Tell these guys why you changed your name from Emily to Emma. Well, it was, originally, my name was taken at Screen Actors Guild. Right. When I got my card when I was 16. So it was an Emily Stone.

23:39Will Arnett:Wow. And so I originally changed it to Riley because when you tell a 16-year-old that they can just change their name, you pick a cool name. And so I was like, I'll be Riley. Right, that's number one. You could have changed it to Emma Middle Name Lee. Emma Lee Stone. Right? I don't know if I could pull off being a three-namer.

24:00Sean Hayes:Fuck, is there any way you could call her 20 years ago? Could you call me 20 years ago really quick? Yeah, yeah, yeah, real quick. Just one second. We'll pause. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is a real thing, though, right? That is a real thing, though. All people who change their names because of SAG. Because there's already somebody. Yeah. Michael J. Fox, I think, was because there was already a Michael Fox, right? One of the great ones is, I feel like Michael Keaton is Michael Douglas. Oh, wow. Oh, really? And he changed his last name to Keaton because Michael Douglas was Michael Douglas. I just learned Albert Brooks' real name is Albert Einstein.

24:38I did not know that.

24:40Sean Hayes:Swear to God. Swear to God. That's unbelievable. His brother was Bob Einstein, you know, Super Dave Osborne. That was Bob Einstein, and that's Albert's brother. But anyway, Emily to Emma. Emily to Emma. Because? Well, because you're trying to get to the Spice Girls reference. Yes. You should have changed your name to Albert Einstein because that was free. That's true. That one's free now. Not being used anymore. Wait, so you went to Emma. I went to Emma because growing up, I was an enormous, I mean, still to this day I am, but an enormous, an enormous, sorry, I'm slurring. Right, because you've been up for four days.

25:14Will Arnett:You need to take a nap. Yeah, I got to take a nap. I was a huge Spice Girls fan. And there was Emma, who was baby Spice.

25:21Sean Hayes:No way. Crazy about her. Yeah, really? I love that. I had the opportunity. When I was in, you know, like second or third grade, I asked the teacher to call me Emma, but it didn't ever stick. But then I had the chance to do it permanently. and here I am. I love that.

25:35Will Arnett:Have you met the Spice Girls since? I have. Does she know that? I've met the Spice Girls now. I think she does because she gave me a really special T-shirt that she had signed. It was like from one Emma to another kind of thing. It was pretty cool. Did you keep it together or did you just totally I did not keep it together at all. At all. But I will say the night before I met them we were going to their concert in England when they, you know, had done, they did like a reunion tour a couple years ago in 2019 and the night before I went to a party at somebody's house and the magician David Blaine was there.

26:11Okay. And he did just an astounding trick. He did this card trick and then it was this whole thing and it was an illusion, an illusion if you will. And he pulled up his phone and the card was reflected in a picture on someone's phone, in the glasses of someone on a boat and it was this crazy thing. and I got so excited. Now, this is a tale as old as time because I'm about to tell you a story from yesterday as well. I got so excited that I ran. I was like, I can't stand it because I'm such a big fan of magic and I couldn't stand it and I ran and I was wearing these heeled boots and I slipped on the wood floor.

26:53This is the night before the Spice Girls concert. I slipped, my arm went back out behind me and I broke my fucking shoulder.

27:01Will Arnett:When was this? I was playing responsible for that. 2019, the summer of 2019. So the next day I'm supposed to go to the Spice Girls concert. And I was like, there is no way on earth I'm missing this. So we got in England one of these, you know, things from Boots, the drugstore, this little sling. And I hadn't even gotten an x-ray yet. And I went and I was in so much pain that actually meeting the Spice Girls under those circumstances was probably better. So I couldn't do that in front of them instead.

27:28Sean Hayes:And your excitement was so tempered by the pain you were in. I was so tempered by the pain that I was like, it's amazing to meet you guys. Oh, my God. Like, it was so brutal. It was broken in two places. And then yesterday, I have bone density issues. That's clear. Because I broke my toe yesterday. No. Kicking something? I did. Are you kidding me? Doing what? On what? Getting out of the shower. Yeah. Well, you shouldn't be lying down in the shower. What do you mean getting out? I know. You accidentally, you stubbed it on something? I slammed it into something, and now it's completely black and blue and, like, all messed up.

28:00because I've been icing it all day. And you're sick, and you showed up for us today. God bless you. How did you not cancel? It's a dream. This is incredible. Are you kidding? I'm sitting on a computer with headphones. This is lovely.

28:11Will Arnett:Half of one of those excuses would have made me cancel this thing. Really? I was just thinking. I was so excited for this.

28:16Sean Hayes:I would give anything for improved bone density. Yeah. Sorry, just sidebar. Sidebar. Sorry. We need to take, what is it, Boniva or something? Yeah, Boniva. There's some pill to help our bone density, but I've broken seven bones. Before I was 30, I broke seven bones. Emma. Isn't that crazy?

28:36Will Arnett:Well, so then you seriously looked into this. You seriously do have bone density issues? Yeah, an endocrinologist was like, we got to talk about this. Like something's up with you. Right. And did he come up with anything? Just that I need to take a lot of vitamin D and calcium and do apparently weight-bearing exercises. is like heavy lifting is what creates more bone density. Well, you could just drink milk and eat like dumplings from Chin Chin like Sean. Jesus. He has a glass of milk four times a day? No, I have a glass of milk with dinner every night. No, you don't. I really do. You're joking.

29:12Why not? It's good for you. That's crisp. It's good for you. It's vitamin D. Will you sit at dinner drinking a glass of milk? Yeah, I saw it a week ago.

29:21Will Arnett:I just stopped. Are you just doing it to be adorable or you really enjoy it? No, this is what he does. No, I... Like leaving the beaver.

29:30Sean Hayes:He lives like he's in the 50s. It's incredible. Because water's too boring and soda has too much sugar, so I just drink milk. Well, you know, they have zero sugar soda now. I'm not into it. So, listen, I want to... Wow. By the way, since we're on medical stuff... I wish this was just a gallon of milk. It would be so good. But is it true because you have one of those cool like million, billion dollar voices too. Is it true that you, first of all, didn't know you had asthma until you had an asthma attack while filming EZA, which I read. And the other thing is, did you really have a condition when you were a baby because you cried too much?

30:09And it made your voice, is that true? Yeah. Because you were colicky, that gave you a raspy voice? Like extremely colicky for five months.

30:17Sean Hayes:What's colicky? Can you imagine now having a kid? I cannot imagine having a colicky baby to that extent. What does that mean, colicky? Colic is apparently a condition where your stomach is killing you. Like you're in a lot of pain. It's like everything I can talk about is just my medical trauma. No, I know.

30:36Will Arnett:It's fascinating. But here's what I think it is. It is the intestines or part of the GI tract that is still developing and unkinking itself and there is a kink in the hose that is not, it still needs to grow to release itself and it takes a couple of weeks and the babies are miserable. Miserable. So it was like if I was awake, I was screaming myself hoarse every day and I think it was very, very traumatizing for my parents. I see.

31:06Sean Hayes:You know what's good for bone densities, those, the astronauts, you know that thing, the power plate thing that vibrates, that's supposed to be good for bone density.

31:13Will Arnett:Oh, thanks, Will. Isn't that kind of a 50s thing too? Yeah. I don't know, man.

31:16Sean Hayes:A little belt around you that shakes? I read it once over a glass of milk. I was trying to... I want to know. Let's get to the career stuff because it's really interesting. Okay, great. Wait, how old's your... No, hang on. How old's your baby? Let's just do a quick... How old's your baby? Two and a half. Two and a half. Sweet. Boy, girl? Girl. Girl. Oh, sweet. I didn't know that. That's so fantastic. Congratulations. Thank you so much. Yeah. Thanks. With your husband who you met at SNL. Did you meet him at SNL? Truly. Dave McCary? Yeah. And is he... What does he do with SNL? He was a writer-director there for about five years.

31:49Oh, nice. Doing digital shorts.

31:51Will Arnett:And you met him there? I met him there, yeah. But we had a bunch of mutual friends, so, yeah. So great. I love that. I feel like I was there that week, too, although you probably hosted a few times. I remember being there once when you were hosting, and I was just like, oh, she's crushing it. Guys, wait, hold on. I'm going to host on December 2nd. I get to get my five-timers jacket. No way. I'm so excited. I can't even stand it. I'm like, I'm freaking out. You're so good at it. That's really, really cool. Wait, so Emma, you and Dave married in the pandemic, and was that just because it was planned that way and you just kept it, or were you like, you know what, let's just do this now?

32:26Sean Hayes:You were waiting for a pandemic, weren't you? Didn't you guys say you wanted to get married, but let's wait for a pandemic to hit? I read that somewhere.

32:33Will Arnett:Trim the fat a little bit on the invite list? Yeah. Smart. The week that I got married, I did open a refrigerator and the handle broke off and I got a black eye. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You need a helmet. And that's where it stops. You know, I do need a helmet. Oh, my God. I need a helmet and extensive therapy. Back to the center.

32:51Sean Hayes:You got this new show with Nathan Fielder. I want to skip ahead. I know she's your guest. Oh, yes. But that looks really... I know she's your guest, but I'll take this one. But I was going to say, it looks really fun. First of all, he's great. And not just because he's Canadian. He's super funny. You're super funny. And when I first saw the ad for it, I was like, these motherfuckers. And then they got one of those safeties in there. Yeah, they sure did. Put a wig on him. And then the three... Took the boom out of his hand and said, go. This is like a fucking, this is like a fucking talent explosion happening in one thing.

33:23Sean Hayes:I'm so goddamn excited for this thing. I haven't seen... Yeah, me too. I'm so excited for this. It's a wild ride, that one. Tell us about, how did that come to you, to your orbit? So Nathan and I have known each other through Dave and Dave's best friend, Kyle Mooney, have been good friends. We love Calumni. Huge. And they've been best friends since they were nine years old. Oh, wow. Yeah, and so Nathan knew Dave and Kyle well, and I got to know Nathan for a couple years. And then I think in 2020, 2019 maybe, Nathan called me and said that he and Benny Safdie had come up with this kind of loose idea for a show based on something that Nathan had really experienced where someone had said that they curse him in a moment.

34:14And he was like, this probably isn't true, but he found that it haunted him.

34:20Sean Hayes:Sure. And they started coming up with this sort of premise of what would happen if you're kind of going about your life and they had this idea for this couple who is trying to create their own HGTV show. But early on, the husband, a little girl says, I curse you. And if that hangs over the premise of this whole show and how that evolves and kind of makes them go crazy, whether it's, you know, real or not. And it just sort of spiraled out from there and became this very intense show. It's really, it is a comedy, but it's kind of not a comedy.

35:02Will Arnett:Kind of dark. It's very, yeah, there's a lot going on there. So it was, no, it was a blast. And we were in New Mexico for like half of last year shooting that. And say the title again. The Curse. Yeah, The Curse. I see posters for it everywhere. And say the title one more time. And just for the third time. So The Curse. I want to talk about Poor Things, too, which is a movie that you have coming out.

35:28Sean Hayes:The brilliant Yorgos Lanthimos. I'm going to go see it this week. You are? Yeah. I can't wait. Where are you going to see it? I'm seeing it. At one of the screenings? Because I'm going to be at those. Yeah. I'll see you there. I just got a text for it, yeah. Oh, great. Was it me texting you to come to the screen? Oh, it was you. Do you go by Emma Stone? No. Oh, shit, it is. Yeah, interesting. Yeah.

35:52Will Arnett:This is the second project with Yorgos, yes? It was technically the third because we made a short film at the beginning of 2020. And then, so, but it was, yes. Yes, it was the second full-length one. This guy is just so brilliant. Amazing. We made another one in the meantime. We made another one in New Orleans last year. No, really? Yeah, with Willem. With Willem, yeah. And Willem's in Poor Things. Yeah, with Poor Things. So we've done two together. And so for my sister, Tracy, Yorgos did The Favorite, The Lobster, just a bunch of great movies. How to Kill a Sacred Deer. Incredible. Dog Tooth, which is...

36:26Yeah. So Poor Things, so did you develop it? Did you find it? Did you just get an offer? How did that come to you? So Yorgos and I did The Favourite in 2017, and right as we were wrapping up The Favourite, he told me about this book that he and Tony McNamara, who was the writer of The Favourite, had optioned, and they were working on adapting. And he just told me the premise of it, and I was like, I beg of you, I have to do this with you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so for the next few years, we worked on things and started kind of putting it all together. And he asked me to be a producer on it, which was amazing.

37:07And so we kind of, like, assembled this team. And then at the end of 2021, why do I keep saying all the dates?

37:15Will Arnett:Yeah, I don't know. Because you're like Will. You have incredible recall on dates.

37:18Sean Hayes:I do everything by date. Really? Month and year, yeah, yeah. Me too. Everybody's birthdays? Do you forget a birthday? Can you forget a birthday once a birthday? I can forget a birthday, but if you say, like, hey, like, I can say, like, oh, yeah, like, it was that time of year, that year. It was this month, that year.

37:33Will Arnett:March of 2023, he knows a difference between April of 21 and March of 24. Maybe I function similarly. Yeah. Crazy.

37:43Sean Hayes:But anyway, so. Anyway, so we made it two years ago, and, yeah, it's just, it's probably my favorite thing I've ever gotten to do. Really? Yeah. Wait, so you work all the time, constantly, it seems like, which is great, and everybody can't get enough of you. So when you go from set to set, other than your child, do you have like something, how do you set it up so it's home? Or how do you set it up so it feels like, all right, I need to have at least this, this, and this in my trailer, or this, this, and this with me? What a fun question. I'll tell you three things that always keep me company, no matter where I am.

38:20Coke? App. Sorry? Big plate of Coke. She's got to get through it. I'm obsessed with the idea that I'm on Coke just because I'm on cold medicine. Jason. Go with it.

38:34Sean Hayes:You know, just suffering through this on cold medicine. She's here on her own. I know. I have a broken foot.

38:42Will Arnett:I can't believe it. You have a broken foot. I'm near death.

38:46Sean Hayes:I know. I can't believe it. No, apples and peanut butter. Really? Really? Every day for a snack, I have apples and peanut butter. Every day I have a Starbucks coffee. Doesn't matter where I am. Could be in the greatest coffee places in the world. Europe, wherever. Doesn't matter. Find a Starbucks.

39:03Will Arnett:And what's your choice? A coconut misto. Coconut misto. No embarrassing to say. What is it? A coconut what? Listen, they make you say misto, which you know the Starbucks lingo where they make you say these things. It's a venti coffee. Just a regular filter coffee. It's a large. Drip coffee. A large. with steamed coconut milk. Okay. And that's the misto part? That's the misto. That's what makes it a misto. So that's not a latte? It's not a latte. No, because it's not espresso.

39:34Sean Hayes:So you have apple. By the way, I have peanut butter and rice cakes always. Every day? Well, that's my treat. That's my snack. That's your treat? Yeah, that's my snack. I feel like in a minute after. Peanut butter and rice cake? Oh, I love that. That's a healthy treat. It's not like you go and get all the Twizzlers from the craft.

39:50Will Arnett:Why do you guys go with just the apple or just the rice cake? Why do you need to spread all the fatty nut butter? Peanut butter gives you a little hit of protein and a big hit of joy. A lot of sugar.

40:00Sean Hayes:I like the peanut butter with the apples. It's delicious. Sean, explain, not for Tracy, but for Jason, what joy is. It's another kind of peanut butter. Not for Tracy. Or no, that's Jiffy. Emma, you were so fucking phenomenal in The Favorite, and you won for The Favorite, right? No. Yes, she did. No. nominated yes we did no she was fantastic though thank you so much nominated wait but what was is that you won a nomination is what I meant did you really not win I can't remember you did win not for the not for the favorite no which one did you win for La La La La oh that's right La La La La so I fucking love that movie too god you're so fucking good that's a truly embarrassing thing to have to sit here and say no not for not for that one no I want to know I asked I want to know I enjoy everything.

40:49But wait, the favorite was yours. My mom says I'm always a winner. Yeah. And always her favorite. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. But was that, because when I've seen that movie, when I watched that movie, I was like, oh my God, this just looks like a colossal amount of work, that movie, The Favorite. Like, it just looks so grand and so massive. That's just because a lot of it was in that fisheye lens. That's what makes it look so grand.

41:14Will Arnett:All right. You know what I mean? That's a little trick of the trade. That was in England, yes? That was in England. And La La Land was here in Los Angeles. It was in L.A., yes.

41:24Sean Hayes:Favorite is such a good movie. I just wanted to, apart from the work that, you know, these guys are so tired, but I, that movie was so good. It was done. We'll be right back. This summer, if your group chat is throwing around, we should get away, consider Scottsdale, Arizona. Sure, it's warm, but that's kind of the point, because summer in Scottsdale comes with some very cool perks. Like luxury resort rates starting at just$109 a night. And you've got options. Epic, family-friendly resorts with full-on water parks or quieter pool scenes. If your vibe is more, do not disturb. Ease into your trip and get your zen on with sunrise yoga, evening stargazing, and generous summer specials at area spas.

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44:14Will Arnett:And now, back to the show. Was that one of the hardest things you've ever done? What's the hardest one you've ever done? Oh, God. Physically, emotionally, both, whatever. La La Land had a bunch of stuff in it. Oh, yeah. You're going to learn how to dance. The hardest thing I've ever done was on stage. Yeah? By far. Sean loves stage stories. I do. You know I do. Well, I've only done one professional stage show. What went wrong? Like 10 years ago. Oh, you want a what went wrong story? I want a bad theater story. But here's the, I did Cabaret. Oh, that's right. And I only did it for three and a half months, which is so short by stage terms.

44:54But enough. I thought, truly going into it, I was so beyond excited. It was probably the greatest experience of my life for the same reason. And I was like, oh, you just do it at night. And then you do two shows a day on Wednesday, and you do two on Saturday, and then you're at home. Your entire life is eaten. And it is so hard. You have to live like a monk. Like, there's nothing, or at least I did, because I lose my voice and I just sing, and it was like I've never experienced something that physically taxing as an actor. It was unreal. I'm sure. So that was the hardest. And when you, but did anything go massively wrong?

45:35Do you have like any kind of night where you're just like, oh, shit, my voice, nothing came out when I sang? Oh, oh, yeah. I mean, I had to take steroids multiple times. Yeah, same. No, yeah, no heart attacks in the house, thank God. But that's, there are a lot of those stories. But no, I, just to add to my, you know, things that are wrong with me. You broke a bone. I'm extremely blind. Blind, blind as a bat.

45:56Sean Hayes:Okay. And I wear contacts for that. And they both popped out of my eyes while I was singing maybe this time. Really? You must have really been reaching for a note. Yeah, I'm always reaching for those notes. I'm not a singer per se. And the lights went dark and you have to go off in the blackout. And I couldn't see a thing in the world. And I just went and slammed it. It was terrible. getting off stage not being able to see at all was terrifying and then couldn't find

46:32Will Arnett:the contacts right they were on the floor couldn't find it but no I always bring spares I have to travel with spares yeah it's very important if you did the rest of the play with glasses on would have been great if you came back out with glasses yeah all of it gives me so much anxiety but when you I always had a fear Sean of getting hiccups on stage yeah I had that too oh my god that's a great fear have you had hiccups on stage no but I had one thing where I had like allergies and I could feel the post nasal drip in the back and it was right before I had to sing, what do you get when you fall in love?

47:02You know, with Chris and Sean? Yeah, sure. And I was literally like, what? Oh, no. Like forever. Oh, God. It was the worst. Panic, tears, because I couldn't cough, but I had to act like I was everything else. I have a million years.

47:16Sean Hayes:Okay, I'm about to tell you guys something that I think that you're not going to enjoy. I know Jason's not going to enjoy this. Oh, no. What do you do when you get, I'm going to ask you guys, I'm going to go around to the panel here. What do you guys do when you get the hiccups? Do you have like a surefire? I do. I don't have one. I have a cure. Emma, go first. I have a cure, but people tell me that I'm wrong, but not if you do it right, okay? Here's the thing.

47:39Will Arnett:Yeah, you don't scream at people, do you? This is the solve. Put your arm up above your head. Just take one arm. Put it up above your head. Well, just because I'm right-handed, so if you're left-handed, you could do it. Drivers, don't do this. Don't do it if you're driving. Now, take water, and I'm talking like tiny sips. You go swallow, swallow, swallow, swallow as you lower your arms slowly. Well, nothing's going to happen because look at all of us doing it like idiots. We're all doing it. Well, we're just practicing. Listeners, we're all doing it. We're practicing. I'm telling you, it is 100 % effective if you do it correctly.

48:14Really? I feel amazing. What do you guys do, Sean or Jay? Nothing. I wish I had something. Take a deep breath. Try this. And I kind of let it feel it kind of go away and then I take water while I'm holding my breath.

48:28Sean Hayes:It seems to work. I've never told anybody this. This is absolutely true, and I can't believe I'm telling it. We're ready. Anytime I get the hiccups, and I remember one time vividly, years ago, our buddy Edgar Wright, we did this thing called Don't, it was like a fake movie trailer between, there was a double bill, like a Robert Rodriguez film or whatever, and he made this fake trailer, and I did the voice. Anyway, I remember going to record the trailer voice because I'd do, don't even breathe, don't even, blah, blah, blah. I did this whole thing, right? It was in the West Village at this recording place.

49:04Sean Hayes:And doing the thing, and I'd had a soda, I think, and I got the hiccups because I was taking in so much air. And I was like, what the fuck? This is where I learned it. And I was like, just give me a second, because I'm like hiccuping on, you know, trying to record. And I go into the bathroom. Uh-oh. and I stick my finger down my throat and I make myself gag and throw up a little bit. Yeah. Gone. Gone. I get it. And I came back out and I finished and that's what I do every time when I get the hiccups now. I go, excuse me. I get it. That is disgusting. Were you just gambling that that would work?

49:38There's a better way, Will.

49:40Sean Hayes:I don't know. It works. Do you fully throw up or do you just gag? Ew! Well, it depends on where I'm at. You know what I mean? Depends on what's going on. You hate hiccups that much that you'll just make yourself puke? I hate hiccups. I will make myself... But this was...

49:54Will Arnett:Were you just gambling that this would work, or was this something you kind of read about? I was just gambling.

49:57Sean Hayes:I had no idea, and I just did it. Wow, that is... Huh. I did not know this. Do you have a tattoo on your arm or your wrist or somewhere? My wrist. I want to see. A very, very, very poorly done tattoo. Look at this. Now, this was supposed to be... I just want you to understand. This was based off of a drawing that was drawn with a pencil. Okay. It looks like bird feet. Does that look like a pencil? Is it a cactus? It's bird feet, and it bleeds out more and more every single year. I got it 13 years ago, and it just keeps spreading. In 20 years, this is just going to be... What kind of half-assed tattoo artist?

50:37Sean Hayes:Were you in a French prison or something? I went into just kind of a random tattoo place on 14th Street, and I was just... Yes!

50:45Will Arnett:Why didn't you consult with the sleeveless one? He could have hooked you up with a great tattoo artist. And now I've gone to good tattoo artists and said, can I get this lasered off and redone? And they were like, your skin is so thin there that it's probably just going to look like you're burnt. Like, it might be worse. Oh, really? So wait. I don't know what to do with it. And your mom got the same one? My mom, my dad, my brother. I mean, the story behind it is so special, but it was like, and theirs all look great, by the way. Really? Because they all went to better tattoo people. And I'm the one who has to cover it up for work every day, and it's like raised up.

51:20It's really...

51:20Will Arnett:Don't you hang out with Thoreau just a little bit? Oh, I know Thoreau. Yeah. Okay, so he could have hooked you up with somebody with maybe a better needle. I didn't know him then. Yeah, yeah. This was 2010. I love that your whole family has it, though. Any thoughts on Justin? This was October of 2010, Will. You remember.

51:38Sean Hayes:I love that. I love that. By the way, I wasn't going to say it before, but you know, when we shot The Rocker, it was June of 2007. Okay. I know.

51:47Will Arnett:That's so crazy. I know you know.

51:48Sean Hayes:I know you know.

51:52Sean Hayes:That is, yeah, Jason brought up a good point. Any thoughts on Thoreau? And by the way, this is a safe space.

51:58Will Arnett:Anything hurtful that you can think of? Another segment we're introducing. Well, you know, he suffers from eczema. There we go. Does he really? That's why he doesn't wear sleeves. Because he's proud and he wants to show it. That's right. No, that's not true. Really? Where's his eczema? Is he a Sky Rizzy guy? I don't know if he really does suffer from eczema. It's just, you know, we've had a lot. We've had skincare conversations. You know, we once put on his Wikipedia page that he cries when he orgasms. It's true. Did someone take it off? He did. He did. He did like an hour later. He personally did.

52:31Will Arnett:I guess he got an alert or something. Yeah, Kimmel knows how to like break into someone's Wikipedia page. The wrong person to know how to do it too. I love that. Will you guys put something on my Wikipedia page? Of course. Don't put that one. Put something different. No, yeah, we'll put Jimmy's brain.

52:46Sean Hayes:We're going to put cries when Justin Theroux orgasms.

52:53Please, please don't put that. Oh, it would be funny. It would be funny, though. Can I ask about, like, early, because you have a brother, right? I have a younger brother. You close with your brother? Very, yeah. Oh, is he in the business? It's just the two of us. No, no, he works at, like, a tech company. And growing up, was he interested or no? He was less like, you do that, I'm going to go over here. Not at all. He played football.

53:17Will Arnett:Yeah, where was home? Where did you grow up? Scottsdale, Arizona. With the poop. With the poop. Remember? With the poop. Remember earlier? That was the same conversation. Huh? Yeah. How long have you been talking? Remember from before? It was like 25. What did you say? What did you say? Earlier.

53:35Will Arnett:And good thoughts, good feelings about Arizona. Do you miss it out there? You still have family out there? Yeah, I still have family out there. The thing about Arizona is it's so hot. It's so oppressively hot. It's difficult to... You need to be built for that kind of heat. And I'm not...

53:54Sean Hayes:It's not a fun heat. It's not a fun heat at all. It's like 120 degrees daily. And I wanted to ask you this because we're going to end on an industry business question. I love a biz cue. I love the biz-distree. I love the biz-distree. I love the heat. to love the buzz.

54:15When you, you know, a lot of people who win an Oscar like you did for La La Land, they, you were amazing, so deserved. I loved that movie. I loved you in it. Did you, a lot of people who win, sometimes it's known as the curse of death with some actors. First of all,

54:32Will Arnett:I should ask, are you guys locked?

54:33Sean Hayes:Before I give you these? Are you picture locked on La La Land? Yeah. Because you got the Oscar. Great. But a couple things. Were it me? I would have tried a little harder. I got some notes. Yeah. Good for you. I was going to say, how did you, were you nervous? Did you have anxiety? You're like, oh my God, this is so great. I won the Oscar. But did you feel like, I don't know, a lot of the times some actors who win Oscars, you kind of don't see them for a long, like years and years and years. Did you have anxiety about like, crap, I won now. People are sick of me? Nope. nobody felt that well not that I was who the fuck would

55:14Will Arnett:what kind of psycho now you put that out there in the world they must hate me now

55:20Sean Hayes:now I know how Sean felt when you won the Tony is that what you were saying when you were walking up your stage to get the Tony

55:26Will Arnett:check Sean off my list Sean thanks for having me today

55:32Sean Hayes:that came out wrong what I meant was did you have anxiety about like I'm not going to work. People are like, people must think like, oh, you made it. I left, this was a very lucky situation because I had, I met Yorgos while we were filming La La Land and I left the day after the Oscars to go shoot The Favorite. Oh, that's great. So it was kind of amazing because the next day I went right back to work and was back in.

56:00Will Arnett:Did you have time to renegotiate your deal on your way to location? Yes. So that was, I did delay my flight for a couple hours just to call my lawyer. By the way, that was... Reopen just the salary portion. A couple new deal points that I'd love to... No, but by the way, that was a big compliment. I know. I'm completely fucking... Okay, okay, okay. How many great... Because you've been nominated, I'm sure, a million times for lots of great... I think it's a million. Lots of great awards. Do you have a bunch of great unused acceptance speeches? No. What? No. I'll bet you do. No. No, but I bet you give some thought, some respectful time and some thought to what you would say up there.

56:42Will Arnett:You're not one of these ingrates that would just, if I win, I win, I'll just go up there and wing it. I bet you've got some fun stuff that you said. My dream is to have like a book, a coffee table book of people's unused acceptance speech. That's a great idea. That's a really good idea. That's a really good idea. Maybe you should start compiling that. It would have to be anonymous though, wouldn't it? Well. Right? The people with the speeches? Yeah, because I guess it would be... But then how do you do an anonymous acceptance speech? Everyone would know who it was, like the people they're thanking.

57:14Will Arnett:What were you going to say for the rocker? If you had gotten up there for the rocker, who would you thank first? Probably just Will. Yeah. Just Will.

57:24Sean Hayes:Thanks for being our guest today. I don't even... Thanks for having me. No, but you got nominated for... You got nominated for La La Land, which you won. You got nominated for The Favorite. Favorite. And you got nominated for... Silence. The Birdman? Is it The Birdman? Yeah. Yes. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you had to work with Galifianakis. Oh, God, I know. What a fucking... What a nightmare. Is there a less talented guy in showbiz than Zach Galifianakis? This guy. You know, from your lips to God's ears. I know. I agree. I couldn't agree more. He was so, so sweet. Oh, he's the best. Anyway, yeah.

58:01No, he really is. What are you going to do for us tonight, and are you watching Golden Bachelor? No. What's Golden Bachelor? I love that answer. I love that answer. What is Golden Bachelor? It's The Bachelor, but an older guy.

58:13Sean Hayes:You should never know what it is, Emma Stone. This is why you are you, because you don't know Golden Bachelors. I'm just out here breaking bones, getting sick, not watching Golden Bachelor. Well, now I'm going to look it up and watch it. You went through a phase. Sean went through a phase where he was breaking bones, right? Yep. Early 20s, Chicago. Hey, hey. Oh, God. Hey. Emma, cool it, all right? Okay, okay, sorry, sorry about that. Sorry. Emma Stone, we're going to let you go. We're going to let you heal. We're going to let you get better. We're going to make you feel better. I'm going to send some soup over.

58:46You don't need to send anything. All right, good. It'll be, okay, great. I won't do that. I just saved myself a call to my assistant. So... Thank you guys for having me. I'm sorry I was such a, you know... What are you talking about? You're like a huge, huge, huge fan. Huge fan.

59:04Sean Hayes:You're the best. Such a massive fan. You're such a, you're a, literally, you're a mega talent. Yeah, mega. Yeah, true. Truly. You guys. Emma. Emma Stone. Thank you guys so much. Thanks for having me. Yes. All the best. Hey, hey, Emma, one thing, I want you to remember one thing. Yeah. And I hope you've lived by this credo. You can always say this to any guy. If you want to be my lover, first you got to get with my friends. Will? If you want to be my lover That was truly beautiful. Thank you. Is that a Spice Girls lyric? I will take that with me. You not knowing that that was a Spice Girls lyric is one of the more painful things.

59:47Will Arnett:Well, imagine what I thought, because I didn't know it was a lyric. I just thought he was just saying that stupid, crazy sentence. No. Like, what?

59:55Sean Hayes:I was trying to connect with her. Did you just call the Spice Girls stupid and crazy for their lyrics?

59:59Will Arnett:Or not a lyric. If it was just a goodbye sentence for a podcast, interview. And this is where I log off. What about when James Cameron won the Academy Award for Best Director of Titanic? I had not seen the movie, but when he walks up on stage, he says, I'm king of the world. Did you say you've never seen Titanic? At the time, I had not seen it. When I saw him go up on stage and say, I'm king of the world,

1:00:22Sean Hayes:I thought, oh no, what did he just say? I've never seen it at all. Yeah. Oh my god. The guy's, he's got a lot of homework to do. Jason's listening to Wannabe by the Spice Girls. Will, you're watching Titanic. And Sean, just get Ricky, you know.

1:00:36Will Arnett:Fix your cat. Get him a little fix. Fix your cat. Emma, thank you for being here. Thank you. Bye, honey. Feel better. Thank you. Bye. Bye-bye. Good night. Sean, you were right. Great guest. She did it while she was sick. So nice for her to show up. Sick. Sick as a dog. This is worth, you know, when we do these late night records, it's, you know, the stakes are high that it'd be a good guest and you nailed it there.

1:01:00Sean Hayes:Well, by the way, for the record, it was a 4 p.m. record. So when you say late night, for most people, they have a different. Okay. But the other thing is, I will say this, and this is a compliment to you, JB. Not even a fucking, I'm not, there's no punchline. She has a great work ethic. Like a lot of people I know who started young in, who were young in, as actors, director, whatever. She has that same thing and you have that same thing. Which is, she's sick, blah, blah, blah. in all the years I've done stuff with you, I've never known you to call in sick.

1:01:32Will Arnett:Not fucking once. Yeah. Oh, there was plenty of times when I'd clear my day when it was 3 a.m. and I was still having fun.

1:01:41Sean Hayes:Oh, yeah, back in the day. Sorry, except for when you blew your... Back in the day, back in the day. Except for when you blew your colon out when we were doing that fight scene on Arrested Development. You did.

1:01:49Will Arnett:When you fought too hard, you broke my colon.

1:01:51Sean Hayes:I know, that's true. But anyway, she does have that great thing. She's always just, God, she's so good. When you start listening off to stuff that she does and they're all so different, you're like, yeah, I missed it.

1:02:02Will Arnett:When an actor has never sucked, that's something.

1:02:06Sean Hayes:She's in that category. She's in that never sucked. I always say John Goodman, number one. He's the first guy I always think of when I think has never sucked. And she's in that category. There are few people who fall into that category, and she's one of them. Yeah, she's incredible. I didn't get to ask her about, I want to talk more about La La Land, about how it's shot. Get ready, Will. Next time, next time, next time. honestly, nobody better. Here it comes. Who's got it? Yeah, well, I love Birdman, too, you know. Here it comes. Oh, you know what I also like? Do you ever see Bye Bye Birdie? I couldn't even do that.

1:02:39Sean Hayes:I couldn't even. Of course you were going to do that. You're fired, Sean. Bye Bye Birdie.

1:02:44Will Arnett:Wait, what? Wait a second. You can't just start saying. No, it's just, it's too. It's tired. You're too tired. See, it's too late. It's too late to even come up with a bye. Well, I was going to say this.

1:02:54Sean Hayes:I love that she got her name from the baby Spice because she's such a fan of the Spice Girls. Spice Girls. That's good. Spice Girls.

1:03:07Will Arnett:Bye, everybody. Smart. Nice.

1:03:15Smart. Nice.

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