SmartLess Presents ClueLess! 137 - Word Workout (w/ Jeff Max)

0:00Hey, Smarties. It's Sean Hayes here. You may remember that we launched a new bite-sized game show last year called Clueless. In every episode, our hilarious host, Elliot Kalin, takes me and a friend of mine through a different game, and sometimes they're word puzzles or chains of common phrases, or robots singing songs, we have to guess. It's a whole lot of fun. Here's an episode that came out today with my good friend, actor and comedian Jeff Max, where we play one of our favorite new games, Word Workout. Check out SmartList Presents Clueless anywhere you get your podcasts. New episodes every Monday and Thursday.

0:29Smart. Bless. Media.

0:37I'd like to open this episode with a quick financial update. Due to inflation, a bird in the hand is now worth four in the bush. Please adjust your proverbs accordingly. This is Clueless. Clueless. Clueless.

0:56I'm Clueless. Welcome to SmartList Presents Clueless, the only puzzle podcast. Period. I refuse to recognize any others. I'm your host Elliot Kalin and I come from the future with a warning for all mankind. But first, please welcome the man who's got entertainment in his blood, but don't worry, he's taking something for it. Sean Hayes. Thanks for being here, Sean. Yeah, I can't get off it. That's the problem. Today, we are joined by an old friend of mine. His name is Jeff Max. We grew up in the theater together. If you heard the previous episode, you would know what I'm talking about. He needs a little slapping around sometimes because we got to keep him real.

1:34Ladies and gentlemen, it's Jeff or Jeffrey, depending on how gay he is that day, Max. Hello. And he's got to sing a little something for us. I love you for headlifters and ball barrels. That's it. All right. Wow. That's it? That was a very little something. That's it. That's it. They say patience is a virtue, but having too much patience is just being lazy. So let's stop waiting around and reveal the answer to last episode's cliffhanger puzzle, shall we? Yeah. God. You may remember it was an odd one out that went thusly. Which word does not belong? Drove, never, murder, school, or unkindness? I mean, well, the first thing, Jeff, I was thinking was there's a group of crows can be a murder.

2:21A group of fish can be a school. Oh. But am I on the right track? You are very much on the right track, yes. Because you have a drove of something. You do have a drove of something. But an unkindness. I don't know what that is. And a never. I don't know like a group of animals that's a never. Yeah, you're right. But I don't know a group of animals that's an unkindness. I mean, that's weird. But that does sound like one. I'm going to say never. I'm just going to go for it. You're exactly right, Sean. Here's what I love about what you did. This is classic professional puzzle playing. You're like, I have a sense of it.

2:58I know what some of these things are. I'm narrowing in. I'm getting closer. I'm using my logic to narrow it down to two. And then at the last two, you're like, I don't know which one. So I'm going to take a gamble. Because every game player at heart is a gambler. You're exactly right. How about that? I would have never known there's a group of animals called a murder. I've never heard of that. Oh, yeah. Murder of crows. Murder of crows? And it's an unkindness of ravens. Is that really? Really? By the way, just so you know, and everybody works on the show, Jeff's signature is Oh really? What's a drove?

3:35A drove of donkeys Donkeys come in droves Okay, murder is crows Drove is donkey School is fish Unkindness is ravens Which is very close to crows And a never is nothing Yeah And an oh really of Jeff's I guess is the Oh really of Jeff's Really? I love This is what we're missing We've never had a guest With a catchphrase before And I'm very excited about that By the way A catchphrase that caught on in literally 10 seconds. Well, you also have to follow it up with, I never knew. Also, get a couple of drinks in them and that, oh, really, is about two octaves higher and about 20 decibels louder. What?

4:14Drinks? Yeah.

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5:29Available now on Amazon. All is fair in Monopoly expansions. Monopoly is a trademark of Hasbro.

5:45Listeners at home, did you get the answer? If not, that's okay. Postmodern theory tells us all truth is relative. But let's pretend there's such a thing as objective reality for just a couple more minutes so we can play today's main game, and it's called Word Workout. Yeah.

6:05Like for sure. Good. It's really good. Isn't that good? Yeah, it's really good. These are great songs. I can't wait for the album to come out. Now, okay, we've got seven words for you. Each of them wants to slim down and lose some weight, and we're going to help get them into shape. For each clue, I'm going to give you the starting word and ask you to remove one letter and then rearrange the remaining letters to create a new spilter. I love this. I love this. I love this. Let's have an example. If the clue was remove a letter from cinema to get a type of Japanese animation, what would you do? Anime.

6:36Yep, exactly. You take out the C, rearrange them, you get anime. Are you ready to send these words to the gym? Sure. Excellent. Word workout. Let's start with question number one. Remove a letter from candle to get a series of rhythmic movements. Rhythmic? Movements. Dance. Yes, very good. Damn, I would have never gotten that. Tell me, which letter did you remove out of there? I remove, well, if you speak the English language, I remove the letter L. Question number two. Remove a letter from basket to get a prime cut. Oh, I was going to say brisket. Yeah. To get a prime cut. Take a look at those letters and see which ones you might be able to rearrange to me.

7:18Oh, you got it. Yes. Steak. You take out the B, which is the part of the cow you don't use anyway. And you just get the steak. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow, that's good. You know, I'm going to go ahead and put the L from candle in steak. No, I'm kidding. And get steel. Get steel.

7:36Question number three. Remove a letter from course spelled C-O-A-R-S-E. So course is in rough. Remove a letter from course to get the sports results. To get the sports results. Score. Yes, very good. You remove the A and you get score. Number four, remove a letter from serial, as in things in order, S-E-R-I-A-L, to get some long tracks. Long tracks. Mm-hmm. Long tracks. Long tracks. Long tracks. I was hoping you would also say long tracks, Jack, so we'd all say it. Rails. Yes, rails, exactly. You remove the E, and you get rails. Damn, Sean, you're kicking my—come on. You got score, right? I think I said that with you.

8:26Yeah. Question number five. Remove a letter from barber to get a kind of fitness activity. Remove a letter from barber to get a kind of fitness activity. Huh. Barber. B-A-R-B-A-R, right? Or is it E-R? B-A-R-B-E-R, yeah. Not the elephant? Barber the elephant is a different story. He holds the scissors in his trunk. It's pretty cute. Wait. Ab? No. Would you like a hint or a clue? Sure. A hint. Okay. The hint is this is a ballet-based fitness activity. That's the hint. If you want a clue, I'll tell you what letter to remove. Oh. It's a ballet-related activity. A ballet-based fitness activity. Bar?

9:16Yes, bar. Exactly right. B-A-R-E. Yes, you removed the B to get bar. That was good. But that's a hard one, right? That was a really hard one. Really hard one, yeah. I hope you walk away from this knowing that you got a really hard one, and it just gives you confidence for whatever you're doing next. Yeah, wait. A fitness what? Activity. Activity. So what do you do there? You just hang out on the bar? The bar. No, when you do bar, you do like a bunch. Yeah, but I would think it's more dance-related. I don't know anybody who goes to the gym and rushes to the bar. Does bar. Well, they've started doing it.

9:48It's a, you know, they can turn anything into fitness. They turn ballet exercises into fitness exercises. Oh, is that new? Okay, great. Just like how Pilates used to be just plates. Right. When they made it to fitness. Yeah. Right. Very good. Sure. Question number six. Remove a letter from ringer to get the span of a monarchy. Remove a letter from ringer. Rain. Yes, rain. Very good.

10:13And now, finally, our last one for this game. Remove a letter from sellout to get a way to mess up someone's hair. Tussle. Yes, very good tussle. Oh, that was good! Very good. I thought that was going to be the hardest of them. Yeah. But instead, if anything, it was the easiest of them. How about that? Wow, that was good. How about that? No pain, no gain! Excellent work. But now that we've sweated off all those unsightly extra letters, we've got to find some way to dispose of them. How about we recycle them as today's Mega Clue? Mega Clue. question. To solve the mega clue, I want you to take the letters you remove from those words, and I'll remind you what they are, and I want you to rearrange them to reveal a piece of workout equipment you could buy a drink from.

10:56And the letters are L, B, A, E, B, R, and L. And what's the clue? And the clue is a piece of - Well, you don't even get the clue anymore. It's too late. That's the right answer. Yay! It was a piece of workout equipment you could buy a drink from. And the answer was barbell. And it's not a bar again? B-A-R-R-E? No. Okay. No, this time it's just another kind of bar. I love B-A-R. Let's not lose our pleasing disposition.

11:32And it's not an elephant. It's not a French elephant. No, okay. Yay! We've narrowed it down. B-A-R. Nice work. Great work, guys. Well, listeners, did you do as well as Sean and Jeff? If so, your steak is free. But before you chow down, make sure you keep a little room for today's cliffhanger puzzle.

11:55Oh, the haunting cliffhanger puzzle. The cliffhanger puzzle is like if a genie let you wish for more wishes, except you only get one more wish, and it's a puzzle. And today's cliffhanger goes thusly. I'm going to read a sentence to you. Can you replace five parts of this sentence with five uses of the same one word while keeping the meaning of the sentence the same? So again, I'm going to read the sentence to you. I want you to replace five parts of it with the same word while keeping the meaning the same. And that sentence is. Got it. After watching a concert and part of a tennis match on my TV, I put dishes on the table, then turned my clock back for daylight saving time.

12:35Okay. Again, I'll read you that sentence one more time. Yeah, slower.

12:43after watching a concert and part of a tennis match on my tv i put dishes on the table okay then turned my clock back for daylight saving time so for next episode can you replace five of the parts of that sentence with the same single word and keep the meaning of the sentence the same yeah yeah okay very good well the feds are here and this time they've got a warrant so we better to bring this episode to a close. But first, I'd like to thank Jeff Max for finding the quickest path to our hearts. And I'd like to thank Sean Hayes for taking a more roundabout route to the heart. He's getting there.

13:17Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's on his way. Still on the road. Exactly. And I'd like to thank you, the listeners, for accepting these sound waves into your head right now. Until next time, this has been Smartless Presents Clueless. And I've been your host, Elliot Kalin, saying that by the power vested in me by the Universal Life Church and the state of Montana, I now pronounce you married to whoever you're sitting next to right now. Mazel tov. Very good.

14:06Maddie McCann. Social media producer, Tommy Galgano. Executive producers are Elliot Kalin, Sean Hayes, Will Arnett, and Jason Bateman. Executive producers for Smartless Media are Richard Corson and Bernie Kaminsky. Remember to follow, subscribe, rate, and review the show. It really helps. That's all for now. We will see you again for more Clue Mess. Clue Mess. Clue Mess.

14:38Thank you to our partner, Monopoly, for supporting today's episode. Just like Clueless is a shorter, faster show from Smartless Media, Monopoly is introducing three new expansion packs that you add on to classic Monopoly for fresh twists, faster gameplay, and a modern take on the game you love. I'm talking about Monopoly. Look out for the all-new buy-everything, go-to-jail, or free parking jackpot expansions to spice up your next game night. Pick your expansion and level up your game. Available now on Amazon. Monopoly is a trademark of Hasbro. Smart. Bless. Media.