"Stephen Colbert"

11:49Will Arnett:You'd volunteer to ref. You'd say, oh, I'll just ref. I'm good, I'm good. What if I were the goal? Willie did some goalie time. Willie was a good goalie in hockey, right? There's no shirts and skins there. What time zone are you in, Will? Space. Are you in New Zealand? Space.

12:14Sean Hayes:No, I'm in Los Angeles. It's early morning here. What time is it? It's 9.45, but I just, yeah. Do I look crazy? But Bateman, aren't you in Los Angeles too?

12:23Will Arnett:I'm in Los Angeles, and you two are in the New York City. I'm in New York City.

12:27Sean Hayes:Yeah, I'm in New York City. I'm in a dark room, Stephen. I'm in my little booth. Oh, I see. All right.

12:32Will Arnett:Stephen, what's going on? How much longer? Do you stay in New York City when you're done with the show? Yeah, until, like, the court order. I have to stay in the tri-state area. So that's still pending. Just so they lift the court order, I have to stay in the tri-state. That's still in effect. I mean, we're appealing. Sure. But that gets straightened out. It's whatever judge you get. It's whatever judge you get. That has nothing to do. Of course, it's such a gift. It's who you know, man. It's who you know at child custody.

13:04Sean Hayes:I can't believe at this stage of the game, you're still playing this courtroom politics. It's unbelievable. You know, I guess I'll stay in New York. New York is home?

13:17Will Arnett:New York's been home for how long? I got, let's see. My first New York gig was in 19, meow, meow, meow, Now, 1990, why did I leave Second City? Sorry for the boredom here. No, we'll tighten this up. We'll tighten it all up. 94. 94, and that came - I came to New York to work for HBO Downtown Productions. I worked on a show called Exit 57. Oh, yeah. I do not recommend it. I do not think we knew what we were doing. Wait, what is it? I remember that. It was a sketch show. It was the year that, it was like, there was this one year where if you had any kind of sketch group, you got a show. It was us, it was the state, it was kids in the hall were still doing their thing.

14:02They were at the end of their thing.

14:03Sean Hayes:Wait, but who was in Exit 57 with you? I remember... Amy Sedaris, Paul Dinello, Jody Lennon, and Mitch Rouse. It was the five of us. And then our director was a guy named Mick Napier. I don't know if you've known Mick. He was a Chicago improv director. It was the five of us. And I lived here. I'd just gotten married, of course, just got married and got a gig in New York. My wife stayed, Evie stayed, and I call her my wife. it's a pet name and she stayed in Chicago and I came and I lived in a seminary I lived in the General Theological Seminary the Episcopal Church I lived in the dorms I lived in a garret like one of these garrets on 21st Street over there?

14:40yeah yeah down there I lived in that thing it's really beautiful beautiful those grounds are insane yeah it started in 1827 it's where a night before Christmas takes place because Clement Clark Jason sorry

14:55Sean Hayes:What happened? Jason, wait, quick, mention golf. Oh, fuck, we're recording. Quick, mention golf. Steven, mention golf. Oh, the lawn out there is just, it is a Bentley Bluegrass. It is chippable. Very chippable. Anyway, I lived in there. My room had hot and hot running water. That was, that was, it was, so that was my first gig. So I came here in 94, but then I moved back, I would go back between seasons until the Carvey show, which was 96. 96. The Dana Carvey show we've mentioned before on this podcast is the craziest group of talent of maybe the greatest grouping. Wasn't Steve Carell on that too?

15:34Go ahead. Carell and I were office mates. We'd been in Second City together. And then, yeah, it was me, Carell, Dino Stamatopoulos, Mike Stajanov, Louis C.K. was head writer, Robert Smigel was the executive producer, of course, Dana Carvey. John Glazer, Robert Carlock. Yes, yeah. And Charlie Kaufman. Wow. Was this on NBC? Dude, dude. Yeah, and Heather Morgan, yeah. Dude. This was on ABC at like 8.30 or something after Home Improvement, whatever. We were after Home Improvement. It was a pure mismatch. They did not go together at all. Wait, I saw that clip of the promo. It was some documentary. It was a clip from documentary.

16:18It was called Too Funny to Fail, yeah. Too funny to fail. And you made me laugh, sorry, because you were laughing so hard. I had never seen the promo. It was a promo. It was in the Home Improvement. Like, his son has got cancer or something, and he says to his dad, like, you know, he goes, like, I don't want to die. And he hugs him and goes, you're not going to die. And then he goes, and then the Mug Root Beer Dana Carvey show. And we were just like, of course we were canceled. That's what we were backing into. That was one of the funniest clips. If you haven't seen it, go online. How long did it go?

16:55We made, it was a 13-episode commitment, 13-episode buyout. That's why I moved to New York, you know, security. And then we shot eight of them, and seven of them went to air. And the eighth one was pretty good, I got to say.

17:09Will Arnett:Well, how about this? How about a return to doing sketch work at a minimum? Sure. Are you going to get back in the sketch game? Will you pay me minimum? Right. Will you scale? Because I think that's pretty good for our industry right now. Look at what your office mate, Steve Carell, and I guess the question is... Yeah, I think he's kind of a flash in the pan at this point. I don't think Carell's going to pan out. There's an actor bug in you, and how about pursuing that? Yeah, but those guys, they have to memorize lines. Yeah. And it has been 21 years that I've been latched to a prompter. I don't know if I have the old cerebellum left to memorize.

17:55No, it wouldn't take you long.

17:56Sean Hayes:It would not take you long. You guys are all actors, right? Yeah, a little bit. I don't know a lot of your work, but you guys all act? We'll send you stuff. We'll send you some clips. Did Michael, God, I just complimented our crew, and they didn't even send our fucking reels over to this guy. I can airdrop you mine. I'll airdrop you mine. Yeah, no, yeah, sure. Please send me some scripts, man. Truly?

18:22Will Arnett:Come on. I'm open to whatever, man. I'll tell you one thing. I have no fucking idea what I'm really going to do until I finish what I'm doing because I don't know if you've ever hosted a network talk show at 1130. But, oh, you would like to? I'd like to. I have some terrible news.

18:43Sean Hayes:What, you would like to host a late night show? I would. You don't have the energy. You're way too low energy for it. You wouldn't be able to do it. You'd be terrible at it. Do you enjoy, like, riding in a flaming toboggan down a hill and the whole point is to not hit a tree by 1230 at night? Because that's what it feels like more than anything else. You're blindfolded. You'd last three shows.

19:03Will Arnett:You'd last three shows. I know I would. Every time I joke about it. Their whole crew would quit.

19:07Sean Hayes:You wouldn't even have to fire them. They'd just fucking quit.

19:12Sean Hayes:okay they'd quit you'd be too tired you'd want to go home you'd be like fuck this I gotta go again today they're like it's Wednesday we started Monday alright let's but let's try it let's audition you okay I'm the guest I'm the guest on the show you're the host I've come on remember by the way which is the conceit of what we're doing now anyway but go ahead okay the show but no but this is how it is so the show I'm coming on for a show that you haven't seen yeah Or you have seen and do not like. Correct. Okay. It's Late Nighter with Jason Bateman.

19:48Will Arnett:Hey, our first guest today is Stephen Colbert. He's got a brand new show on. Is it a daytime show? Is it a daytime? You just said today. So is this like at noon? Yeah, because I'm in bed by eight. Is this following the view? Okay, go ahead. Hang on, let me talk to the audience.

20:03Sean Hayes:We're going to go one more time. Sometimes we do this. It's Late Nighter with Jason Bateman.

20:10Will Arnett:Hey, happy lunch, everybody. Today our guest is Stephen Colbert. He's got a brand new net episode that is good. But if you don't like it, it's on real fast and off real fast. Here he is. Welcome, please, Mr. Stephen Colbert. Stephen. Thank you. Hey, man, great to see you. Hey, great to see you. Great to see you. God, you're much taller in person. Thank you very much. That's a good standard opener, right? That's what I say to most people. I say that to most people and they come on. Or have you gained weight? That's another good one. And then how about this for an opener? So what's been going on with you?

20:55Oh, you know, I've been working on the project. Did you like it?

20:58Will Arnett:Oh, my goodness. Did you get a chance to see it? My wife and I sat down to watch it the other day. Oh, yeah. And my goodness, did we have a good time. I wish he was out here. Yeah, we do recommend people sit while watching it. Oh, absolutely. Or stand. You can fold laundry while you do it. You can do any number of things and not miss much. Hey, was it fun to make? What? We gotta wrap it up. Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, I'm a bit... Really? Thanks for joining us today, Steve. Our next guest is... Just two-minute segment. Wait, Stephen. Oh, I would love to do guests that quick. Wouldn't it be great? Maybe I should do that for my last show.

21:34I should have like 40 guests. Dude, do a wrap. They only get 30 seconds. Wait, but that's a really good idea. That's a really funny idea. Because I don't know who to have for my last guest. Like, that's a big thing. Like, people going like, who's your last guest? I'm like, I don't know.

21:46Will Arnett:Yeah, you can't sit. It's only standing. The only thing I could possibly imagine would be the right last guest because it's the Pope. Mm-hmm, sure. Yeah. I've written, I've asked. I've asked him to come on.

21:57Sean Hayes:Have you really? He's been on my list, too. Could we end up hearing back from the Vatican yet? Is it a hard no yet? I've heard coin toss. It's coin toss at this point. Oh, God, imagine how old that coin is. Imagine how old that coin is. On one side, it has the head of Tiberius. Of course it does. And you go, render under Caesar what is Caesar and Colbert what is Colbert's. I should have put that as my post. I should have said P.S. Oh, you know what? You should have had like a Latin motto. Your show should have had a Latin motto this whole time, obviously. Well, my old show did have a Latin motto, the Colbert Report.

22:30The motto was, esse nunc ui desse. No, it was ui desse nunc esse, which meant to seem to be rather than be. Whoa.

22:38Sean Hayes:I didn't know that. That's fantastic. It was on the thing. I also have a Latin motto on our fireplace at home.

22:46Will Arnett:And it says, burn unto thee. Yeah. What did you say? Burn unto thee. Abandon all hope. No, it says,

22:57which means this is the house that Jokes built. No way. That's great. That is cool. That's great. Do either one of you two know that?

23:05Sean Hayes:Quai Hodee, Sumpteris Sumis, Benedictat Deus, Per Iesum Christum Dominum Nostum. There's my answer. Hey. Ophelimi boni belli dominus vibiscum belli ominus. Minsana incorpora sano. Listen, guys, who cares? I went to school on a bus. Oh, are you in that movie with Viggo Mortensen, Captain Fantastic, where he raises his kids in the case of a home? JB, have you seen that? I have not. You'd like a full frontal Viggo, too. Can I get into Vigo for a second here? Yeah. Do you see my background at all? Do you see the stuff, all my Lord of the Rings stuff here? Yes, I love that, Steven. I think that's incredible.

23:41This is a map of Middle Earth right there. Sean, stand up real quick.

23:45Sean Hayes:Let's see if he's got a better. Sean, stand up. Okay, other things. This right here, this is in the Lord of the Rings, in the final battle at the Black Gate. We watched them just like last week. He's wearing chain mail under his plate. Yes, yes. Vigo is? This is some of the chain mail from Vigo's armor in that final scene. Wait, how did you get that? How did I get that? Steven, how old were you when you lost your virginity? They don't just give these shows away, Sean. You got to be a mover. But wait, that's not even what I wanted to show you fuckers. Listen to this. I'll tell you how he got it.

24:18Sean Hayes:He asked offhand to an assistant. Wait, let me see that. Oh, yeah. That is an image of Aragorn made out of chocolate. Oh, my God. Who did it? Given to me by Viggo Mortensen. Wow, that's really cool. He gave this to me 25 years ago when he was promoting the Lord of the Rings. You obviously know the story where he, in anger, kicked one of the dead orcs and ripped his toe off, basically. He kicked a helmet. He kicked a helmet. Yeah, one of the dead orcs up on the helmet. And then he kept going. And his scream is him screaming in pain. Yeah, I think that's so good. Jackson went, oh, that was good.

24:58Let's keep that take. And then he found out later.

24:59Will Arnett:We'll be right back with Dork Chat after this first. Hey, hey.

25:05Sean Hayes:Hey, guys, now that we've cleared the ladies out of the room, let's get down to it. All right. They're all gone. All right. Whose shirts, whose skins?

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28:29Will Arnett:All right, back to the show. Wait a minute, Stephen. I want to go back to the talk show for a minute. Wait, because you were kind of looting this with Jason. Me too, but they won't let me.

28:42But obviously, I don't want to know names. Please don't say names. But what are the types of guests that are the greatest and the types that are the worst.

28:50Sean Hayes:And also mouth the worst.

28:56The worst? Oh, boy. The best guests are just anybody who wants to talk and actually have a conversation. Like, that the card is immaterial. Like, we don't have to stick to the card. I mean, don't get me wrong. I really like, like, Nathan Lane comes on, And what I love about him is that he's old-timey. Yeah. And it has nothing to do with his age. It means he comes on and he, I know to ask him a question, and he's got 90 seconds on that subject, at the end of which there's a word he says, and he's done with that story. Right. And I move on to the next thing, which is very old school, very Carson.

29:38Prepared. And it goes. And I love it. It's the old days. But what I really like is just somebody who's just coming to come on and talk. Right. And also someone who's really, that's why I like Neil Tyson, because Neil Tyson, A, I'm interested in this subject, Neil deGrasse Tyson. Absolutely. And then he burns so passionately. He wants to explain things. He's like this lump of glowing conversational uranium and I feel like singed on one side of my body after he leaves. We loved him too. He's so good. He's a joy. I stumped him.

30:06Will Arnett:He couldn't answer my question. That's not true. He didn't get it. Name all the children on the Partridge family?

30:18and what their astrological signs were. Yeah, he couldn't get it. Couldn't get it. No, he got stumped on Danny. He had everybody but Danny. Would you think he'd know? Right, because Danny's on a cusp. He's a cancer-leo cusp. Wait, Stephen, tell me about, and I know I'm sorry if you've answered this question a billion times, what are you feeling about the end of your show and, like, all of that and... I actually have not answered it a million times. I've answered it once to Seth Meyers, and he answered that. He asked that question way better.

30:52Sean Hayes:Let's see how Jason would do. Jason, do it on your show. How would you ask Stephen on your show?

30:58Will Arnett:Stephen, end of your show, thoughts?

31:04250 people losing their jobs. Any feelings?

31:07Will Arnett:You've only got 30 seconds, remember. People got to get back after lunch. Lunch breaks these days are short. Yeah, 30 seconds left. Hey, listen. Listen, you know, on one level, I have no time to feel anything about it because, as I said, I was just saying, it really is like a flaming toboggan ride every day. Like, I got a show. I don't have time for this bullshit. I've got to go do a show today. And it takes everything I got. I don't know what I'm going to do after this because I don't have time to really. I mean, I've got stuff. I'm committed to doing things after this that I committed to before we were canceled that I've got to, like, deliver on.

31:39but what I'm going to really do, I don't know, because this takes almost all of my brain to do this. And I love, and this group of people that I work with, I have cobbled together over the last 21 years, some over like 30 years of working on TV. Yeah, it shows.

31:53Will Arnett:The show is so goddamn good. Thanks. And we have a really good time to each other. I mean, we have real affection for each other. We have a great time together. We call it the joy machine because it's a machine all the time. And you can either do it with joy or not do it with joy because if you don't do it with joy, your finger's going to get caught in the gears and you're just going to be fucking mad and sad all the time. And so, you know, we just try to have a good time and we want our guests to have a really good time. Like the whole thing is I really feel like I'm a host. It's like I'm hosting a party.

32:23Sean Hayes:But people get nervous though. I remember JB, sometimes people are in the dressing room and they're shitting their pants. No.

32:35Wait a minute, Steven. Steven, look. God, I love it. Wait, wait, look. You have not been back. You have not been back since that story has been told. And I've been waiting to give you a pair of underwear. No, we got our underwear.

32:48Sean Hayes:By the way, you sent us underwear. I still wear it. I still wear mine. I still wear mine, too.

32:52Will Arnett:I still wear it. I have it on right now. That's so crazy. Wait, wait. I don't have underwear. Yeah, you do. We sent you all underwear. We sent you really nice, like, Calvin underwear or something like that.

33:01Sean Hayes:No, where are they, Sean? No, they're called... What's the brand? Go low. Go low, Sean. Are they Tommy, like Tommy? Tommy Bahama. No, they're Tommy Bahama.

33:14Sean Hayes:I don't know. Scotty, come check my underwear again. Again? I can't read upside down. Again, this is a four-time, not for that. Not for that.

33:31What brand is Wednesday?

33:36Will Arnett:Wait, Steven, I haven't been back since then? That's not true. You have not back since you shit your pants on my show. Oh, David Cross can confirm. For daily wear. For daily wear. Oh, yeah, that's... Fuck, I have a... Mark... Marc... Andreessen. Marc Andreessen. That's how he made the billions. Mac Wellen. Okay. Marc Wellen. Mark Wayne Mellon. Mark Wayne Mellon.

34:08Sean Hayes:You know, it's unreal. These tech guys, they're moving to underwear. It's been unprecedented. It went from AI to underwear. My underwear's in the cloud now. I shit my pants in the cloud.

34:21Will Arnett:My underwear's in your trash can.

34:26I shit my pants in the cloud.

34:33Will Arnett:we should explain to the listener that no I don't think we should no I don't think we should explain I'm sorry you come and shit your pants on my show you don't get to explain anything until you come on my show to explain you don't get to burn this story on somebody else's show even if it's yours I think Jason should be your last guest now obviously he only comes out for 30 seconds I'm sorry that's all we have time for I gotta go clean myself goodbye Yes. Do you think? Well, all of our guests in our gift bag, we do have dude wipes. Now we do. Dude. Yeah. They're denim. They're denim dude wipes.

35:11Damn it. Wait, so Stephen.

35:14Will Arnett:35 minutes in, we haven't had a question yet. I love it. This is called a good guest. No. He asked how I was feeling. Sean asked how I was feeling. Do you remember that?

35:23Sean Hayes:Yeah. Then you asked him thoughts. Yes. Wait, when is. Let me finish answering that question just saying how I feel. Still very happy and grateful to have done the show for 11 years. Of course. And pre-missing everyone. How about that? And when is the last show? When is the date? They haven't told me yet. Come on. Evidently, someone's just going to come up and shoot me in the back of the head.

35:49Execution style. And they want me to wear a chin-strap beard and a stovepipe hat, and I don't understand why. A bunch of plastic on the desk. I just come in. I go, huh? What's all the plastic doing on the floor? It's May 21st. It's May 21st. May 21st. May 21st. So close.

36:05Will Arnett:So they're going to get some sweeps ratings out of it. Yeah. Do you know there are no sweeps anymore? Really? Yeah. Sweeps don't exist. They haven't been around for like eight years. There have been no sweeps. Get back in the game, baby.

36:18I know this podcast thing is working out for you guys, but, you know, you've lost a step.

36:24Sean Hayes:Old TV. Old TV. There's no more... There's no pilot season. No. There isn't? No. Although I just read that they're going to try to do that again. That they're going to do pilots again. Well, what's so... Yeah, anyway. Oh, pilot season. Maybe I'll fly out and do pilot season again. That was always fun. Why don't you do that? Stay at the Oakwoods. Go to... Stay at the Farmer's Daughter or whatever the thing that was. Oh, my God. I used to stay at the Oakwoods. Yeah, stay at the Farmer's Daughter. Or I had a brother who lives up in La Cañada. Sometimes I would stay with him. Oh, my God. He had great cars.

36:57Oh, he would lend me his Porsche. I would go to these. I didn't have, I couldn't like, I didn't have, back then it was like pre-cell phones. I couldn't make a phone call. I had no cash. But I would pull up to the audition in a white Carrera. Wow.

37:12Will Arnett:What's Brother Do? Was lawyer. He's 19 years senior than me. And I'm one of 11. He's the eldest on the baby. And a big, big California land use lawyer and many other things too.

37:25Sean Hayes:Wow. So you had nothing but, poor, you had a Thomas Guide. Oh, sure you did. Oh, I did. Page 33 and 34. The Thomas Guide flipped over. Okay, H like that. I remember I had a Thomas Guide. I just kept it in my bag all the time because, I don't know, I never knew when I'd have to go to LA. And when O.J. was on the chase, I was driving from New York down to - Yeah, this guy got railroaded.

37:51Will Arnett:Tell him, tell him, Stephen. Terrible news.

37:53Sean Hayes:Oh, my God. You're going to be so, he's a fucking crazy OJ fan. What? You're going to be so... All the way back to the Trojans. We've kept him insulated because he's such a fan. Oh. I was driving from New York down to Maryland for a wedding and he's in the chase and I'm in the backseat driving down with these people to a wedding and I get in the backseat and I've got the Thomas Guide following where he is based on what they're saying on the radio. On the Thomas Guide. And we go, oh, he's getting off. He's going to get off the highway. Here's his exit. And I was like, I was trying to stay warm.

38:24I was one step ahead of OJ the whole time, baby. You were like, what's he doing?

38:28Sean Hayes:He's taking Montana? That's crazy. At this time of day? Was he crazy? He'll never make it back. I remember I was out here. I was in California briefly. When that happened, I was staying at a friend's house up in the hills, and I could see, you could see where he was going by, all the helicopters going along the freeway, just the pack of helicopters following him and then culminating in his house. It was so scary.

38:52Will Arnett:I still feel like that was like three years ago. I know. Isn't that weird? Yeah.

38:56Sean Hayes:Yeah. I know.

38:58Will Arnett:I remember they interrupted, I think, the NBA playoffs or something. Yes. Right?

39:01Sean Hayes:Yes. The Knicks were in the finals. With the Lakers. Yeah. When I arrived at this wedding, my wife had gone on ahead of me. It was all her friend. It was her friend getting married. And I pull up to this. And they haven't. He's not out of the car yet. It's still the overhead chase. And I come up. And my wife is at the door of the bar where everyone's meeting the night before. the wedding and I get out of the car. I walk past her. I went, hi. And I walk into the bar. She has not seen me because I'm living in New York working and she's, she's in Chicago. She hasn't seen me like in two weeks. I went, hi.

39:35I walked by her and I went up to the bar and said, can you please change that game to any news station right now? And the guy went, no. And I said, I promise you people will be interested in this. Yeah.

39:44Will Arnett:Cause remember the, the, everybody was really concerned that he was just wanting to get into his driveway so that he could commit suicide in the back of that. Remember they said that there's a gun back there and he just wanted to get to his house and get it done. And a wig or something? Yeah. And there was a whole suicide note. And a wig.

40:00Sean Hayes:Wig was there? It was a wig. Oh, a wig, not Kristen. I'm sorry. Kristen Wig was in the backseat. He was actually, it was the same day he was auditioning for La Cage. No way! They were paired. He would have been fantastic. In all fairness, you're right. Let's all admit. Yes, murder, yes. But fantastic. In fairness, you're right. You think Nathan Lane hasn't killed somebody? There's our clip.

40:28I am what I am.

40:30Sean Hayes:Who knew our 300th would be our last? You know? Right.

40:34Will Arnett:This is pretty... Oh, happy 300. This is 300? Thank you. This is 300. You were on early, early days. One of our first ones, yeah. First 10? Yeah, I didn't even know who you guys were. They're like, do you want to do this thing? And I'm like... Oh, you still don't. Price was right. Yeah. You're Googling us as you speak. Wait, back to the farmer's daughter. I hooked up with someone at the farmer's daughter. Huh? Oh, go ahead. Wait a second. Wait a second. Wait a second. Wait a second. Was he pale and Irish from South Carolina? Was he very lonely? Did he keep on calling? Did he call you Evie? Stephen, does that line up, Stephen,

41:15Sean Hayes:with what you called your blackout days? Is that? Yeah. This is all time out. I think we matched Legos. Wait, Sean, keep going. No, that's it. I was so young. End of story? So you'd go audition in the morning. You'd audition like a couple of places in the morning. And then you'd go to the, whatchamacallit, the farmer's market. That's right. But the old one. Old one, yeah. In the big parking lot, whatever.

41:42Will Arnett:Before the Grove was built. Yeah, and then you'd get like a fruit plate. and you and all the people you knew from Chicago, which was my situation, you'd sit around and you'd put your beeper in the middle of the table. And everybody put your beeper in front of you and you'd be eating like some lovely melon or whatever like that. And then somebody would start buzzing. That's right. Call back. And then you'd be like, well, that's the life I could have had.

42:06Sean Hayes:What was that great breakfast place that was there? Denny's? At the farmer's market? Yeah. Oh, it's called DuPars. DuPars. No, no, it wasn't DuPars. It was like a counter. You could not do parts. It was part of the farmer's market, though. There were a lot of tasty little treats in there.

42:22Will Arnett:Well, Stephen, do you remember going in and reading for a pilot and signing your five-year deal and seeing what you could be making if you do make it past this final round? Yeah, I want you to know I did not go to network that many times. I turned out had to write for myself. because I was ostensibly an actor, but I was really a, it turned out I was probably a writer who needed to write for himself because I didn't, there's not a lot of tape on me from the early days. I went to network, oh God, they were going to do an Addams Family. I remember that. Oh, wow. They were going to do like a reboot of the Addams Family.

43:04I did, I was called back in for Gomez. I remember that. That was kind of fun. Do you remember who got it?

43:10Sean Hayes:Do you remember who's in that pilot? Nope. Oh, Oh, here's a good one. I was supposed to be the sidekick. Did I tell you this already? No. Did I tell you this last time? I was offered the sidekick for the magic hour. What's the magic hour? What's the magic hour? Magic Johnson's talk show. Oh, no way.

43:29Will Arnett:Oh, wow. Yeah, I was offered the sidekick on the magic hour. Did that ever go? I don't remember that show. It did. It went for like eight weeks or something like that. Like whatever, 32 shows or something like that. and I got called in, a really lovely fella named Jim Sharp who used to, he was head of development for Comedy Central and I knew him through that and he goes, would you come in and just meet with these people? And I said, sure. I mean, I had a wife and a child and none of us had any jobs and I was like, whatever, I will dance on the head of a pin. Right. You know, shirtless. And I went in and I met with them and first I met with Jim and then Magic's team came in and Magic's team all looked like...

44:10The Lakers?

44:14The entire basketball team. Just the Laker girls. Just the Laker girls. Okay, sorry, I'm following. They all came in, they're all very attractive, very athletic looking, and all, I think, lawyers. And they came in and they explained to me what the show was going to be, and they said, you're going to be the announcer and the sidekick, and you'll be like... You're like Magic's crazy uncle. Like, he'll do a monologue, but you're like the crazy guy and you'll pepper him with like, you'll yell things at him and you'll say stuff and he'll like, he doesn't know what you're talking about. Like, you know, you're like the crazy uncle.

44:46He doesn't understand what you're saying or anything like that. And evidently I really wowed them when I said, I understand what you mean. Like I don't remember saying anything other than the words you're saying are registering with my tympanum. And then I got called and they said, they want you, man. They want you. And I had to sit my pregnant wife down because I flew back to New York. I had to sit my pregnant wife down. And we're unemployed. She's pregnant. And I had to say to her, I've been offered this job on the magic hour. And I have to not take it. And she goes, what? And it paid well. Let me say it paid well.

45:24And we didn't have, we were living with her parents back in South Carolina. It was a bad situation. And we were in the breakfast nook of her parents' house. And I said, I can't. I just think this would not be good for me. Like, I would never be able to wash off this tape. I just don't think this is going to be good. And then she stood up. God bless this woman. She stood up. She looked at me, and she said, okay. She said, I trust you. And then she walked out of the room, and it was a bad moment. And then, like, six weeks later, it went on the air, and she turned to me. She says, good call. Because magic comes out, turns to this guy.

46:02I forgot who it is. Perfectly lovely comedian who got the gig. I used to know his name. I can't remember. You'd know him if you saw him. He was a funny guy. And the first thing the guy says to Magic, Magic goes, man, he's like my crazy uncle. He says things and I don't know what he's talking about. He just named exactly what they had said to me in the meeting. And then it kind of went downhill from there.

46:24Sean Hayes:Do you think you would have ended up owning a piece of the Dodgers had you stayed? No, but a lot of movie theaters.

46:32Will Arnett:Yeah. Well, that's not a great business nowadays, right? owning those theaters. Those are closing. So you can just go in and buy popcorn, you know. You don't have to actually go see a movie. No kidding. You can just go in and buy popcorn and work the Coca-Cola machine. No shit. Yeah. That's how they're surviving. I live so close to Century City

46:48Sean Hayes:I could just see. See, it's convenient and you don't even think about it. God. So wait, so that's like 94, 95 type thing like in there. That's pre or post? Yeah, that's 97.

47:01That's 97. It's post my first gig.

47:04Sean Hayes:So it's right before Strangers with Candy. Yeah, it's after Carvey even. It's after Carvey. I've done X-57, then I've done Carvey, and then Strangers with Candy. I actually, while I was out there for that pilot season, Paul Dinello and I, with Amy Sedaris, wrote the pilot over the phone. We wrote the pilot for Strangers. Wow. That's amazing. Yeah. So great. I know you kind of already answered this, but what after you're done with the show I don't know everybody's gonna keep asking you over and over what are you gonna do what are you gonna do I feel like a college senior I feel like I'm just about to graduate because they want

47:41Will Arnett:because they want you because they want more of you we didn't get a vote in all this everyone was watching your show because they want you they love you they don't want it to be over so what are you going to do for us yeah so what's the dream I guess I'll just join you guys that'd be great there we go we've got our second clip fourth Yeah. You need four? Finally. We're finally ready. We're ready. Even split, right? Even equity? Oh, yeah. Of course.

48:08Sean Hayes:Yeah, yeah.

48:08Will Arnett:I can get up higher. Or I'll dilute one of you. I'll dilute one of you. We'll draw straws. We'll draw straws to see who gets diluted. Sounds fair. Okay, sure. Yeah. We'll be right back. Hey, guys. You know how winter makes your car so filthy with, like, salt and the snow and the sleet and all the ice scrapers and shovels you keep in the trunk. You can bring in mud and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. When it comes to your car, winter is the real mess maker. Summertime means nothing to worry about, right? Wrong. You might not think you need WeatherTech floor liners for summer until half the beach ends up back in your car.

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49:09Will Arnett:So you're saying with Hilton Honors, I can use points for a free night stay anywhere? Anywhere. What about fancy places like the Canopy in Paris? Yeah, Hilton Honors, baby. Or relaxing sanctuaries like the Conrad and Tulum? Hilton Honors, baby. What about the five-star Waldorf Astoria in the Maldives? Are you going to do this for all 9 ,000 properties? When you want points that can take you anywhere, anytime, it matters where you stay. Hilton for the stay. This is a paid ad by BetterHelp. If you're like me, you like to work, and sometimes it's hard to balance work and life and pleasure and relaxation and all those things in between.

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50:55And now back to the show. But what is the, I know, sorry, we can move on from this if you want, but what is the dream? Like what, is there anything that you've always wanted to do? Here's the thing. There's a lot of things that I enjoy doing. I kind of live in the dream. You know, this was never my dream. I never had any intention to do this gig. It was. No, I never had any intention to, this was a happy accident that I got this gig. Like, I quit the old show before this show came to me. I hadn't told anybody I'd quit. I was like, okay, that was the end of that show. And then before I could tell anybody, they offered me this, and I came over here.

51:31But the idea was just, I was just going to go back being an actor again. I was going to go just do that, live that life. So then maybe we can look forward to that, what Jason was saying. Yeah, I'm about to go, I'm about to enter into show business again. I've kind of not been in show business for 21 years because this is artificial. To be able to come in every day to know where your clothes are and who you're working with and what time it starts and what time it ends. And especially as the host, because you even get to make the yearly schedule. You just have to hit a number. But you get to make the dates.

52:02But after 21 years of that, now I'm like, wait, so if I'm lucky, I have to go to Prague for three weeks?

52:09Will Arnett:Yeah, exactly. You know what I mean? Yeah. Prague's a lovely place, but I've really enjoyed. I mean, I got to raise my kids under those conditions, like where I know where I was. Yeah, right. And I was so lucky. And there's lots of young people who this was their first job and they've been with me for 20 years. And now they're not young anymore. Amazing, amazing. And I'm trying to prep them for what it was like before I had this gig, which is real show business, which is like high diddle-dee-dee in actor's life for me. You know, it's very much of a caravan. But then just, so then just to build on that then, I mean, the bar is very high for that which you are comfortable doing.

52:42Will Arnett:Like you don't want... Or very low. Like, I really, honest to God, I tell you, you know, the person who did the thing that I most admire, I mean, not most admire, but the thing that really struck me is like, you know what Hader did when he left SNL? Huh. He went and wrote for South Park for a season. Uh-huh. Yeah. And I remember I saw him. I was still doing the first show when he did that. And I was sitting behind him at the Emmys, and I said, man, that's the perfect thing to do. Just go serve something that you love already. Like, see, can I be of service to people whose work I really admire?

53:15And I thought that's a great thing to do. Don't even worry about your status of your previous gig. Just go do something you love. I just don't have the time to—I mean, I've got some things I do want to do, but I would never tell you what they are. Sure. No, no. Because then you would go do them. Right, right. This is a cutthroat—I know what it's like. But just a hint. I know what Hollywood is like.

53:34Sean Hayes:Just a hint, though. Just a little hint.

53:40Just a hint?

53:41Will Arnett:Is it streaming? Is it linear? It's just us. It's just us here. It's pay-per-view. Pay-per-view. That's still a thing. Yeah, yeah. It's mostly, it's a form of... UFC. UFC? It's MMA, technically. It's a form of MMA. Okay.

54:00Sean Hayes:So smart. Yeah. Yeah. I'd love it if you, would you fight Jake Paul? Could that be your next move? Who wouldn't watch that? Come on. God, I would love that so much. Sprinting around the ring. If you announced, if you challenged him to a fight when you rap. I remember on the old show, I challenged who Brock Lesnar is. Yes. Sure, yeah. On the old show, I challenged Brock Lesnar to a fight. I called him a pussy and everything like that. And it occurred to me, it was over multiple shows. And I don't know why I did it. I don't know what had happened that I got mad at Brock Lesnar in character. and at a certain point I went, I should stop saying this.

54:40Did he ever come on the show? My head would just sheer off cleanly like a graham cracker if he punched me once.

54:48Will Arnett:God, remember him? Jesus, the son of a man. He's still alive. He's not dead, is he? No, I know. Don't even joke about Brock Lesnar dying. Yeah, man. No, no, no, no. I mean, when he was fighting, remember him. Oh, yeah, he's a monster. Remember Mike Tyson was just so violent in the ring. Did you ever see that? Like the Jake Paul, Mike Tyson fight. Have you seen the footage where Mike pulls a punch because if he had followed through, he would have killed Jake Paul? You see like that calculation of like, I promised him I wouldn't do this. And then he puts his fist down because Jake's open completely.

55:24His head is just, his head just says that enter here sign right on his chin. And Tyson sees the opportunity and you see him not take the opportunity.

55:33Sean Hayes:Yeah, I remember seeing that video going around and everybody's saying, this is definitely what the deal was. Yeah. I mean, did you, like, I grew up, I'm old enough, I'm much older than two of you.

55:49And when I was a kid, Ali was on TV. There's no paper. Like, you would go watch Ali on TV and Foreman and Smoke and Joe Frazier. It was a big part of my childhood was watching professional boxing. I never understood it. where the goal is to hit someone so hard that they lose consciousness. They lose consciousness. Yes. That's the goal. To hit them as hard as you possibly can, just shy of killing them. That's right. You don't get it? That's the sweet science right there.

56:16Will Arnett:Sean, you don't get it. Well, what's the draw? I mean, you've met people before, right? And by the way, if you do kill them, you're good. You've been in the world. Don't get prosecuted. No, you can't. Oh, really? If they die, you can get prosecuted? Boxers can get prosecuted, yeah. Really? Oh, really? Yeah. But isn't that the goal? No, the goal is too much. kill them. But almost kill them. Yeah. How about bullfighting? How do you feel about bullfighting? Oh, that's not good. Sure. I'll watch it for a few seconds. Yeah. I'll eat them, but I won't stab them. How dare you? I'll eat them. How dare you?

56:45I'll watch them. I'll put a bolt stunner in their head and bleed them out. And then I'll grind them up. But I wouldn't want anyone in tight pants to taunt it to death.

56:58Sean Hayes:Don't you drag us out to deep water. How dare you? Yeah, wait. It's called heritage. It's called heritage, my friend. El heritijo. I am listening to you. Yeah, that's exactly right. Oh, it's beautiful. Oh, beautiful. It's an art. If you could bring... I went to the bullfight. We went to the Plaza del Toro in Madrid when I was a kid with my mom. And my mom, I remember the whole time she was like, I know I shouldn't love it. I know I shouldn't love it. And the bull, it was a bad fight. One of the fights was bad. The matador was bad. And my mother stood up as the bulls being dragged off and yelled, Viva el Toro!

57:41And I'm like, you're from Larchmont. What is happening to you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. She was a Hemingway fan. That was the problem. Or the opportunity. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Papa, as we call her. Yeah, the sun also rises.

57:54Will Arnett:Are they still doing bullfighting? They are. In Spain, they still are. I think pretty much every... There's this Provencal bullfighting. which is like in southern France near the Spanish border, they don't hurt the bull. They taunt the bull and they run away from it and they basically do dives to get out of its way. And between its horns, there are strings tied and there are little ribbons and things. And if you get close enough to pull the ribbon off and not get hit by the bull, like that's the primo de primo.

58:24Sean Hayes:The French, they just surrender to the bull immediately. Is that the deal? Some of them, they tell the bull where the Jews are.

58:36Wait, what do you get if you pull a ribbon off the bull? Honor. What do you get? Honor. That's all it takes. And is there a receipt for that? Yes, there is. There actually is. I have, I'll show you, I'll send you out on his website. I keep, I follow the season. There's a season. And then it's their teams. You really, oh, so you're into it. You're into that.

58:54Will Arnett:Would you ever run with the bulls? Yes, I would. You would? Yeah, my son did that. It's a very good, it's a very manly look to wear the white outfit. It's the Feast of San Sebastian or something. I forget what it's called. Isn't there a tomato fight associated with the weekend, isn't there? That's a different thing. That's a totally different town. True. That's a totally different town. I was sent a package. There's a town in Spain where they have tomato fights.

59:23Sean Hayes:The way that you mix up your European festivals is so fucking gross, dude.

59:29Will Arnett:And then don't they throw oranges at one of them, too? There's an orange top. During Oktoberfest. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then you drink beers. Yeah. Then you go up to Germany and you have beers. It's the same weekend.

59:42Sean Hayes:How much time do you spend with Sedaris these days? Not enough. Not enough. Not enough. God, she's a treasure, isn't she? She's lovely. Yeah, she's just marvelous.

59:51Will Arnett:That Instagram of hers, I don't know how she gets those photos. I know. Very powerful. Her birthday is coming up soon.

59:59Sean Hayes:Well, what's amazing is how big she is on Instagram. She didn't get a cell phone until about 2018, I don't think. 2018, right? I mean, you know that too. She never had a cell phone. She had to call her at home and leave her a message. Oh, by the way, a friend of mine just, you know, these are like new things. There's now landlines are coming back. And there's six numbers. There's like 630-886 or whatever. Instead of a seven number. No, but yes, correct. And it's tied to the internet in your house, but it's a landline, and it can only go to a certain person, like, right, one person. Like a hotline.

1:00:35Only that person can pick up the phone? Yeah. Like, is there a thumbprint identifier? I don't know. Like a hotline. Like the old school hotline. Almost like a hotline, yeah. And they're getting really popular really fast. Do a little bit more research on that and come back and listen to it, Sean. I was going to say, that story did not pan out. A lot of excitement. A lot of excitement at the beginning of that. And if we had jumped on, maybe we could have gotten that boat up on its skeg. We could have made the wave with you, but we just washed you with a reef. But there's nothing else to the story other than landlines are coming back.

1:01:10Sean Hayes:You know what, you should do that maybe, Stephen. What about a landline where you have like a hotline and you answer, people call it and you just stand by the phone and you answer questions. They pay you, right? Sort of a couple bucks, and then you pick up the phone, and you give them like 30 seconds. Oh, I have a wealth of knowledge. Ask me anything. Ask me anything. Right now, let's try it out. Ask me anything, and let's see if I know anything about the subject.

1:01:32Will Arnett:In what country and on what weekend do they do the tomato fight? Okay, this is great. This is great. That is actually, it's not in Spain. It's in Italy. It's on the Feast of San Cristobal. It's on the 8th of August. Do you see this? Come on. Is that true? Is that true? No, it's total bullshit. But that's what you're going to get on his hotline.

1:01:50Sean Hayes:And I think that'll be my podcast, and it'll be called A Dangerous Thing, because a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. And I answer all of your questions as with absolute confidence. Because you have very little knowledge. I have broad but very shallow, like you cannot get your ankles wet in my level of knowledge in most things other than the Lord of the Rings.

1:02:11Will Arnett:It's called Good Smelling Bullshit with Stephen Colbert. That's right. Then you don't know what it's like to be married to me.

1:02:17Sean Hayes:Are you super into the, because you're into the Lord of the Rings and stuff. I love it. I imagine initially through the books. Are you a big Star Wars guy too? Because Sean is huge, Star Wars and that whole world. I do enjoy the Star Wars universe. I was lucky enough, when I was 13 years old, Star Wars came out in 77. And because WTMA, the local radio station with the host Boobie Nash, and 12.50 on your AM dial, they gave away tickets. You had to be like the fifth caller and you got four tickets to see this movie and nobody knew what it was. It was called Star Wars. And I won, or my friend Keith Sargi, and it was me and Keith Sargi and Haskell Fudenberg and Haskell's mom because we couldn't drive.

1:03:04We went to go see it. We had no idea what it was. And it was three weeks before it was released nationally. And so we went to Northwoods Mall or something, and we had these— Early tastemakers. We had to stop by the radio station to pick up the tickets, and there were big blue tickets that had, like, the Death Star on it and an X-Wing. We didn't know what any of this was. Right, right. And we wanted to keep the tickets because that would be cool. We said, no, you've got to give us the tickets. But they handed us back a big button with a star field on it that said, may the force be with you. We had no idea what that meant.

1:03:34But we put our pins on, and we sat down, absolutely no idea what we're about to experience. And then, you know, it was like a long time ago in the galaxy, far, far away. We're like, what is that? And then, and Star Wars comes up. And we were, it grabbed us by the scrotum. Like it just dragged. And I was 13 and there wasn't much to grab at that point. And dragged us into the story. And the next day, like the next Monday, we all went to school. And there was no explaining to anyone how everything was different now. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then three weeks later, everybody was excited. We were like, but we knew before you did.

1:04:14Did you keep any of that stuff? Do you still have any of that? I still have the button, yeah. You still do, of course. The button is in my workroom on the pegboard still.

1:04:21Sean Hayes:That's amazing. Sean will hire somebody to come in. You shouldn't have said that. You had Sean at Pegboy. Steven, I'll clean your office for you tonight if you want.

1:04:35Wait, Steven, go back to the Lord of the Rings just for two seconds. because then we got to let you go. No problems here, baby. What do you want to know? I know, but like, how often do you watch the movies? Oh, I mean, I love the movies. I've seen them many times. Again, I saw them, like, I wrangled in any way I could to get tickets and whatever little Hollywood connections I had when those things came out to get in before anybody could see them. Like, I saw, like, the Director's Guild preview screening across town here. And I've seen him many times, and I love Peter Jackson and Philippa Boynes and Fran Walsh.

1:05:15Will Arnett:Jason, you ever seen it? Which? Lord of the Rings. Lord of the Rings. I don't think I've seen any of Lord of the Rings. No way. You're not shitting me, right? You've not seen it? I bet I probably saw the first one, but I haven't. Let's do it at your house, Jamie. The Return of the King. I was just going to ask, What is considered, between The Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, and Star Trek, what is considered the best? Well, they're all so different. Yeah. The best what? Get to the noun. The best film. I mean, Empire Strikes Back, I guess, always. You mean in a science fiction or fantasy genre? Yeah, just quality of film and effects.

1:05:53Will Arnett:The Lord of the Rings. That trilogy is generally considered, among the cognizanti in this world, to be the only perfect trilogy. Yeah. It's perfectly executed. And how old are they? They're like 20 years old. This year is the 25th anniversary. I had Elijah Wood on last night. The 25th anniversary of the first film of the fellowship. Oh, right. I just read about that, and he was embarrassed to say that he's yet to finish the books. He has not read the books yet. He started the books. Yeah, that'd be my story.

1:06:20Sean Hayes:I remember I saw those at the Burlington Mall, Burlington, Massachusetts. That's a great story. And do you like The Hobbit? Wait, no, I want to hear more about this story. Tell me about the Burlington Mall. Hang on, I'm just reading an email. But I'll tell you what I do do, and I realized I just said do-do, is that I read the books constantly. Oh, you do? I love the movies. I admire so much what they did with it. But I'm a book guy. Other than those, what kind of books are you into? What do you like to read? When I was younger, I was a huge Salinger fan. I used to read a book a day when I was younger, when I had the time.

1:06:55And it was all science fiction and fantasy. And then a lot of philosophy, a lot of religious texts, stuff like that, like comparative religion texts, Joseph Campbell, a lot of poetry. I love Galway Kinnell. Boy, I'm bummed that I asked that question. Is this a serious man? Mary Oliver. Mary Oliver. You ever read any of Mary Oliver?

1:07:24Sean Hayes:No, I'm much more sort of – in fiction, I'm really into noir. stuff like that. And I was going to say, Len Dayton died yesterday. The great Len Dayton who wrote, I don't know if you guys were into any of that stuff. No? Okay. No. Big shout out. Stephen Colbert. Let me just look at my notes here really quickly.

1:07:42Will Arnett:Any questions for Stephen?

1:07:45Sean Hayes:Not a question.

1:07:46Will Arnett:Is there a second question? No, there's not really

1:07:49Sean Hayes:a second question. For 300 guests, this is such a special thing that you are. That's an hour, baby. That's an hour. That's a wrap. It's just fun to play. We just want to play with you more. We just want to. I'll have more time, you know, in June. Yeah, we're going to come to a receipt for you. Please invite me back every, what was this, it's been five years since I was on? Yeah. Oh, no, almost six years. Wow. Because you were on early. It's been almost six years. So please, let's see in six years. This has been so fun. But truly, but truly, Stephen, for such a special thing for our 300th episode, it's really, really cool.

1:08:24So I didn't know this was 300th. What an honor to be on such a milestone. Who did you have for 200? Who did you have for 200? Do you remember? The Pope. He answered us. We have the Pope. Francis? Pretty quickly.

1:08:35Sean Hayes:That was an incoming from him. I don't remember. But we knew. But it is true. It was a big deal. We wanted to have you. And we went out of our way to make sure that you were our 300th guest. And you're just a delight in everything you do. As you know, I'm a fan. Not only are you a great guy, I'm such a fan of what you do. I've always kind of looked up to you. You're so funny and great and gracious and cool and all of it. Thanks, you guys. Well, this was the reason why I came on is that you hadn't been on very long, but every one of these I heard, I thought, that sounds like enormous fun to go on.

1:09:15And I underplayed how fun it is to talk to you guys. I admire what you guys have built. you finally found what you should be doing and I'm happy for you just hold on to it tight hold on to it tight don't take it for granted

1:09:32Sean Hayes:we're gripping so tight we are gripping so tight and the listeners can feel it thanks you guys

1:09:40Will Arnett:have a great rest of your day thank you pal bye bye buddy

1:09:47Will Arnett:well I tell you the talk show hosts they'd never fail. Always the best guests. God, he's funny.

1:09:55Sean Hayes:I haven't laughed that hard in so long. I know. He is fucking funny, man. It's just unbelievable.

1:10:00Will Arnett:And it went by in three seconds. I know. I know. I could talk to him about Lord of the Rings for nine hours. I know you could, Angel. I know. Hey, will you come over and show me one of those? Yes, yes, please. Okay. I would love to do that. Now, but if I'm going to like see a Lord of the Rings film, a Harry Potter film, a Star Trek film, or a Star Wars film? Like, which would be, like, the greatest cinema? I don't know if Star Trek

1:10:26Sean Hayes:I don't think is in the same. You know, all due respect, I think that it's kind of a different... Scott is a huge Star... Yeah, it is. He's a huge Star Trek fan, but I'm not.

1:10:33Will Arnett:So, like, which is, like, the best film, right? I get they're all great movies, but, like, is there, like, a real cinematic, like, Harry Potter's got some incredible production design. Of course, of course,

1:10:44Sean Hayes:but I think that what you're looking for would be Lord of the Rings, Those movies are cinematically incredible. Beautiful. It's like, they're like, you know, what's that big movie that Spielberg was inspired by? That super famous old, old, old movie that was sweeping. Lawrence of Arabia? Yeah, Lawrence of Arabia. It's kind of like that. It's like scope and huge. It's really incredible. I've heard that Sony's got an incredible 70 millimeter print of Lawrence of Arabia. Oh, really? Yeah, and that we should bother them and go and ask Tom Rothman if we can go watch it. I've never seen it. It's supposed to be amazing.

1:11:18Sean Hayes:Yeah, I've never seen it. It's supposed to be incredible. Let's go. I know. Let's go today. Let's go today. Guys, how insane that we've done 300 episodes. A lot of people say it feels like we've done 600. Yeah. And, yeah. But to have Steven on, really just so special. And I want to say, I love doing this with you guys so much. This is such a joy.

1:11:44Will Arnett:I'm going back at you, buddy. It's never a dumb moment.

1:11:47Sean Hayes:Always so fun. It's never hard. We're so lucky. And I'm just going to say that. I'm going to piggyback on that and just say I love you guys. I'm so lucky. We're like family and brothers, and I just, I love you. Love you right back. I love both of you guys so much.

1:12:01Will Arnett:So, so much. You're really important to me. Thank you for the gift of your friendship and this partnership. Truly. Well, with that, I think I've overstayed my - I will say this. I will say this.

1:12:13Sean Hayes:Well, here it goes. We've found, we've made a great connection in this life. the three of us. And you know, you've been out there. Connections like these are really, really, really hard to come. Bye!

1:12:33Sean Hayes:300. Smart. Less.

1:12:41Smart. Less.

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1:13:42Will Arnett:If you want to be the first to hear new episodes ad-free in a whole week early, subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts Plus on Apple Podcasts or visit SiriusXM.com slash podcasts plus to start your free trial today.