A Live Crisis (aka Good Headaches)

14:51Felix White:This could be an episode that you do maybe once a month lads where you just kind of open it up on Instagram and just have three or four people flow in, tell their cricketing stories. I don't have much cricketing sadness. No, I kind of, I more have cricketing joy. I was going to start that. Give us your cricketing joy. It was when I was at a mate's house when we were watching the World Cup final when we beat New Zealand. And it was by the barest of margins. And I just I just remember sitting, it was a sunny day. He had just had his first daughter. Our wives were talking in the garden. We were watching the cricket flick in between.

15:28Felix White:I think there was a big football game on at the time or something else. And then was it tennis? It was Wimwood. Yeah, thanks, Shackledo. And it was the Wimwood final. We were flicking between the two and then we flicked back and we watched the Super Over and just that diving with a ball in his hand to knock the rails off. Not being a massive cricket fan like to everybody else, but internally knowing that I love cricket. My wife was like, I didn't think you cared about cricket. and I went, but I do in these moments because the nation care about this stuff so I care about this stuff

15:59Jimmy Anderson:and seeing the joy of everyone there

16:01Felix White:and it's kind of, that's history we witnessed history and it was, yeah, just with my best mate, cold beer young child knocking about wives in the garden having a great time and just kind of going, this is what life is all about this is the joys

16:16Jimmy Anderson:That is the joy and that's why sport is so amazing because it makes us all feel part of something and what's also why it's devastating because we're all part of some horror sometimes. We won't mention the ashes, will we? To enjoy the rainbow, you've got to put up with the rain. So do you mean that that was your sort of pathway into cricket in a greater way?

16:38Felix White:I think that was my pathway into really knuckling down to become a tailender. Because I wanted to know more of that. I wanted to know kind of what's behind the scenes, what's a real anorak that loves cricket like Felix does when he does the score alongs like how can someone with ADHD you're like myself with dyslexia and they're like how can I get into the sport that seems complicated but then actually it's a really good it's just good for numbing the brain particularly test match special you've got it on in the background yeah and you're just listening to experts talk about something that they're really passionate about and they're like actually I see that and then you you get the white ball stuff you get the red ball stuff you get the five day stuff you get the hundreds you get all of these different kind of ways of playing the game that so many people seem to love and then someone's like oh i love 220 but i can't deal with the one day or i can't deal with the test and then me i love the test stuff because you can dip in and out of it it's like a good book you kind of read five pages you're making my eyes water gabby you didn't even know you're gonna be in the show 10 minutes before this is like

17:45I just think it's one of those ones where I think it's ready.

17:47Jimmy Anderson:He's ready to go. He was ready for a call up.

17:49Felix White:I'm a big sports fan. And I, so you love your traditional sports, your rugby's, your, your footballs, your tennis's. But what I love about cricket is, what I love about cricket is, is you can have this kind of moment where you're in it for really intensely for like a T20 match, but then you can also kind of flow with it through a, through a series. I'm really looking forward to the series he's coming up. I'm really looking forward to hearing people talk about it, break it down. But then I'm also really looking forward to kind of seeing how I can understand it a bit more and grow my knowledge of a beautiful game, as you call it.

18:23Jimmy Anderson:That's so nice. And also you said numbing. We know exactly what you mean. But also I think one of the reasons that we're so looking, well, the reason I'm so looking forward to Friday is it's calming. Yeah. In a very stressful world that we will find ourselves in, it's calming to have county championship cricket that doesn't really mean a great deal, but it means so much. Yeah. Kat, welcome to the podcast. Go on, Kat. Yes, Kat. How you doing? Go on. Kat, you have to be a little bit like Jimmy Anderson, though, because he's in a selection meeting. You're already too happy to be here. Timmy Banderson, could I try that?

19:04Jimmy Anderson:Yeah, you can be Timmy Banderson. What? This is crazy. I'm just, just for, for those of us that have just joined, and I mean only Matching. Go World Cheers. Matching won't know what's happening here. Quickly get up to date with everything Matching. Jimmy thought we were doing the podcast tomorrow. He's in a selection meeting, so can't join us. We're trying to get a hold of Izzy Wong. Felix thought he might try and get a hold of Mark Butcher. I thought we'd just put, put a shout out on the Tellings Instagram for a like for like replacement. We've already had 10 minutes with Gavin Edgar. we now have I love getting the full name as well

19:39Felix White:that's a real honour to get a full name shout out

19:42Jimmy Anderson:well I should actually call you Officer Edgar probably Detective Superintendent Gavin Edgar and also now we have Cat Chimondes that's a good effort no Chimineedes Chimineedes and now Jimmy Anderson Hey! Hey, Jimmy, me, Kat, Jim and Ondes and Gavin Edgar. Hello. They've been doing a good job at filling. Hello. You're all for families. Family. Human being cricketer. What's going on? Jimmy's in his car. What's the Lancashire team, Jim, then? If you just picked it.

20:27Felix White:I can't. I can't pick it. It's too hard. It's too hard. successful selection meeting there wasn't it what so you've just walked out no no we've finished it's just like even pick it so obviously

20:39Jimmy Anderson:I can't do it too hard

20:40Felix White:no we've not we've not seen the wicket we're away at Northampton so we've got to pick a squad and even picking a squad is difficult because we've got 25 extremely good cricketers so what about Ajit Singh Dale is he in Jim you have to wait and see mate

21:01Jimmy Anderson:so we thought jimmy we would just put a little shout out on the instagram to see if any tail ends would like to come on board and help us out with this episode um it's actually going amazingly well i mean gavin edgar kat chiman chiman chiman indy um uh tell it tell us about your tell us about your life what let's talk jimmy what's what's going on in your day what what have we interrupted for you being on here so i've got me from long covid so i'm quite an indoor based person um i'm sorry to hear that thank you currently i'm here with our cat tiggy watching age of attraction on netflix fantastic wow okay that's a great cat she's she's a beauty this is crazy i think i think i'm the only oh there it is thank you oh that's sweet cat

21:54Felix White:i feel like i'm the only cat person on on our podcast are you a cat person yeah greg's not greg's a dog definitely a dog person felix doesn't like any anyone anything with fur i'm allergic i like cats but you're allergic to cats yeah that's really sad i'm sad for you it's so sad it's so sad have you got have you got cats jimmy as well i've got two cats yeah and a dog can you tell me about them sure um just don't ask me to pick a favorite because i can't pick anything at the minute i'll go i've got uh charlie who's like a black cat and snickers who's a bit like gingery who hates me he hates you yeah he doesn't he does it he just runs away from me but then no he likes well everyone else in my house it's not me whereas charlie's not himself when he's hungry is he jim

22:55Jimmy Anderson:so it's really interesting that we've got a cat talking about a cat talking to jimmy Anderson about cats because this week I was chatting to my wife Bella about my theory in life that is shared by lots of people it's not I didn't come up with it but that every single person on earth is either a cat or a dog and we were going through people in my life who are cats or dogs and the only cat in tail enders we realized is Jimmy no and Sharky because I would say I was a cat no no no no you are the most dog ever yeah i agree but i think jimmy is definitely a cat why am i definitely a cat because and look and look here's the thing the reasoning it's not an insult either way it's not it's just it's a it's a an aura that someone gives off for example i only met gavin edgar 10 minutes ago and i know that he's a dog thanks very much and I also know that cat is literally a cat yeah yeah you're a cat cat and Jimmy is a cat and Sharknado is also a cat what that means is there's something there's just something cat-like about you there's something unknowable about you and it keeps people guessing it doesn't mean you're a bad person or a good person and the same with a dog it's just aura matching is also the most dog you could ever imagine.

24:24Jimmy Anderson:Match is a dog. Yeah. Felix, you're a dog. I'm a dog. Then you can't choose. You're a dog, yeah. You cannot choose.

24:30Felix White:What kind of mix do you need in a cricket team between cats and dogs? What's your percentages of the starting 11? Jimmy, I've been thinking about that one. That's why the selection

24:39Jimmy Anderson:meeting took so long.

24:40Felix White:I can't think. That's why Jimmy, for me, Jimmy loves fielding, which gives the dog energy because you're catching the ball and bringing it back. Gavin, in half an hour, Jimmy's going to call up the rest of the Lancashire squad again and say, actually, we've got to change it. There's not enough cats in the first 11. We need to be just a 70 % cat. We need to 50-50 it and then maybe change to 60-40. Yeah, I thought you were going to say I'm like a cat because 80 % of the time I don't want to be anywhere near any other human being. And then 20 % of the time I need some attention, some close love. Exactly.

25:17Right.

25:18Jimmy Anderson:See, that's why you're a cat.

25:20Felix White:Yeah. Do you sleep a lot, Jimmy? I don't sleep a lot, no. Yeah, you bowled long spells, you do. Oh, yeah, yeah. I do like a nap in the afternoon. I can't deny that. A cat nap. But back to the cricket team, I feel like four cats, seven dogs would be a nice balance. Four cats, seven dogs. Do you think a wicketkeeper is definitely a cat? Because you know how like cat reflexes. Sometimes. You need a talker, don't you? you need to talk at which you need a dog around the stomach Jamie Smith's a cat you need a Jack Russell you need a dog

25:59Jimmy Anderson:Matt Pryor is a dog yeah Jack Russell Jack Russell is quite literally a dog Jack Russell is well there you go one of the best

26:06Felix White:to ever do it

26:07Jimmy Anderson:one of the greatest of all time dogs right I'm going to shout out some cricketers and we're going to go cat or dog he's got that dog in him yeah okay yeah go on then my butcher hasn't picked up so crack on well he's a dog 100 % warm hearted big hearted dog likes being around people some people are just what they are let's go for Joe Root he's a cat

26:38Felix White:I was about to say cat he just goes out does his job, comes back, doesn't expect any attention but then gets loads I think you just described a well trained dog though I think he's a pretty cat that gets a lot of attention but doesn't really need it like a home. I'm afraid he's a dog. No, he's not. He's not, Greg, you're wrong. He's a cat. Jimmy, text Joe Root now and ask him if he's a cat or a dog.

27:04Steve Smith, cat.

27:08Felix White:No, he's not a cat. He's a dog. I was going to go more psychotic dog. Yeah, he's like a dog that's not got control of his limbs. Yeah. Pat Cummings. Oh, Pat Cummings is a... Dog. Yeah, he's like the dog on the front of Homeward Bound. Like, fit, poster, dog.

27:30Jimmy Anderson:Mitchell Stark, cat, Nathan Lyon, dog. Yeah.

27:34Felix White:This is harder than I thought. They're not definite. Pat Cummings is the only definite, because he's like a Crufts, sort of. You can see him with a ribbon on at the end, he's won something at Crufts, hasn't he? Yeah, definitely. Pedigree charming. Pedigree. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. Pedigree dog.

27:49Jimmy Anderson:I wonder if sports people over-index as cats because there is a sort of singularity as an individualistic streak to top sports people. It's a very interesting question. Izzy Wong. Interesting one. Izzy Wong. Dog. I think she's a dog. You think she probably is a dog? I think Izzy's a dog.

28:06Felix White:Yeah, I'll go with dog.

28:08Jimmy Anderson:Yeah.

28:08Felix White:Izzy, if you're listening, you're a dog. In the context of this conversation, Izzy Wong is a dog. I'm not going to get clipped for her. But I do also feel like... He did so well for the first 10 minutes and then he just called Izzy Wong a dog off the back of it. I do also feel, Greg, that you're... The way you're sort of framing all this is that you want people to be dogs over cats. And I don't think being a cat is a bad thing.

28:32Jimmy Anderson:Yeah, but that's classic dog. Of course, it's classic dog. Because you want small dogs to play with. And also, the fact that Jimmy's being chippy about it is classic cat. You see, that's it. And even when we said he was a cat, he's like, oh, I don't know about that. Yeah, because a cat would complain like a cat.

28:50There is a music version of this game, which is hippie or punk, which is quite interesting because it doesn't exactly correlate. But everyone sort of wants to be a punk. What do you think? I think I'm a hippie. 100%. Yeah, I get that vibe. Yeah, I like Jimmy. What did you say, Jimmy?

29:11Jimmy Anderson:Jimmy's a punk. Jimmy's 100 % punk. Unfiltered punk. I would say Sharky's a punk. Yeah. I think it is basically cat and dog. Are you a hippie? Yeah, you are a hippie. It feels a bit **** for a hippie, doesn't it? I don't know. I mean, I think it probably is a bit **** for a hippie. This is the difference. I think Matching is a dog, but he's a punk. I'd call Matching a punk. You think he's a punk dog? Yeah, he's a punk dog.

29:42Felix White:So he's a dog with a studded chain neck.

29:44Jimmy Anderson:again i don't think it's that literal but but gavin edgar loves it to be literal hey gav and kat thank you so much for joining us we're gonna we'll let you get back to your lives now and um i do want to just have a little chat with jimmy about the county season um but we have really really loved you coming to our rescue today and yeah the biggest go well forever and sharky's about to say don't close your window down because we need you to save your video and your audio okay so just okay if you leave you can leave the call and leave all this in sharky because this is real leave the call but don't close your browser can i just say am i pressing the three dots yeah i don't know what to do or am i pressing no just i've been told that your audio and video video has been uploaded you can now safely leave the call and get back to your lives before you go can i just say that there could not have been you could have known about this for weeks and you could not have put in a better 10 minute shift on tail enders both of you than you've just done what a great advocate of being just like instinctive bang on the show delivering this is the this is these are the tail enders this is why we love this podcast because it's just got the best people listen to it and also too much no and you know what that doom scrolling's paid off cat finally timing wasn't it it was great timing what that does now mean is we need you to wait a couple more minutes to save the audio you just said as well okay so with all due respect stop talking now because we'll otherwise we'll never get uploaded go well cheers

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32:24All right, Jim.

32:25Felix White:So county cricket. Sorry, guys. Oh, good, mate. It's all right, mate. It's all right. Sorry. is it actually 25 people you've got in the squad or do you know I feel like we're nearly at 30 wow what nearly a 30 man squad with every I mean that's including your Liam Livingstons your Luke Woods your Josh Butler's great them both yeah your Josh Pahanan's well yeah he's in he's here I mean with everyone who's not here as well we're about 30 okay yeah overseas and England players and franchise players etc okay great

32:58Jimmy Anderson:good place to be good place to be on the eve eve eve of the season yes yeah is i could feel like the responsibility is weighing on you a little bit today jim oh you know what so this is my this

33:13Felix White:is my first like experience of having everyone to pick from everyone's fit everyone's playing well yeah hard and it's like you know jesus what do i do but uh because like last the games i did last Last year, we had injuries and you're having to rest people and whatever else. Everyone's itching to go as well. Everyone's super excited about the season. So I'll just pass the book and give it to the coach to do. It's a bit like, it's your statement, isn't it? Who do you think the best 11 is now, deep down? Yeah.

33:48Jimmy Anderson:And are you in it?

33:50Felix White:I think just about, but I mean, it is close. What number are you batting? 11. 12.

33:56Jimmy Anderson:12 well as you know as as pundits tend to say good problems to have yeah good headaches yeah good headache maybe that's what we should call today's episode good headaches or good problems to have so what are your small medium and long-term aims captain going into the season is it um for the championship is it is is your your big one promotion obviously yeah well obviously

34:26Felix White:we'd love to win Division 2, but promotion is the big goal. And then you can break it down because the season's broken up into the little sections. So there's six county games at the start of the summer before the T20 start. So you sort of then break that six down. And then you just, for me, it's really important to try and narrow it down, not focus on too far ahead. Literally just think about the next thing, which is tomorrow. Or this. I should have focused on the next thing for me was tail enders. But I... Yeah, tomorrow. Not off to a good start.

35:02Jimmy Anderson:No, but it's just going to be you and Gavin Edgar tomorrow. Yeah, great. Because he's so good. Can I ask what might be a stupid question? I've got lots of questions because I'm very, very excited for the start of the season. The sun is out. It's going to be Good Friday. And we're going to get this lovely thing, which we adore. And we're going to be calmed by it and whatever else, soothed by it. This might be stupid. How different, if at all, do you feel after a day of county cricket compared to a day of test cricket? Do you feel in any way different in your preparation and maybe how you deal with it at the end of the day?

35:37Felix White:Not really, no. I think it's the preparation, the in-game stuff and the recovery sort of stuff and afterwards is all similar. Like, I'd say it's exactly the same for me. I just try and do everything the same. I don't see it as a different level of cricket. I see it as a game of cricket that I want to win. There might be a few less people watching, but I never really... I was chatting to someone about this the other day and I love playing in front of big crowds, but I don't think that I could say that that got the best out of me. Whereas you'd say a Stuart Broad would perform better in the big moments in front of loads of people in an Ashes series, where for me, I just felt like I tried to stay as level as possible and every game is the same, every situation is the same and I'm just going through my process of how I bowl.

36:25That's why you're a punk cat.

36:29Jimmy Anderson:And he's a hippie dog. And he's a hippie dog. Yeah. Yeah. That's really interesting. I'm glad we're talking about this because it has always fascinated me. And can I just ask one more little thing? Sorry, I keep hogging the questions. No, go on. I'm just really interested in this bit here. Maybe not you, but have the rest of the lanks team for example felt any different over the last few years compared to the previous years where there actually are loads of eyeballs now on the county championship not just through youtube but through the clips clips of county championship cricket fly now yeah in a way that they didn't three years ago drop catches amazing bits of bowling huge hit sixes double hundreds what all the stuff that we normally see clipped up has there been a slight democratization of the cricket in terms of how many eyeballs are on it and has that changed how anyone prepares or, you know, whatever.

37:23Jimmy Anderson:I don't know. Is there anything in that at all?

37:25Felix White:I think that's hard for me to answer. I can't speak for everyone because everyone deals with those sorts of things very differently. But I'd say generally it's a positive. Oh God, it's an amazing positive, but yeah. Clubs want eyeballs on their team. Players want eyeballs on them. There's so many opportunities now in cricket. So the more people that you get seen by, the better really with, you know, England with the selectors hopefully watching with franchise cricket as well around the world. So I think it's just, you know, it's become the norm because it's been a good couple of years now where this has been happening.

37:58Felix White:And especially here at Lancashire, the stream's so good. The camera setup's really good. So, you know, we know we get a decent amount of people watching and I'm sure it's the same for other counties as well. But yeah, I think the biggest thing is you're really aware of not doing something completely stupid because you know that's going to be a clip. I think more people are aware now that nothing's getting missed. So like last year, I tried to play a slog sweep at Blackpool and the bat flew out of my hands. And I knew for a fact that's going to be clipped up and people are going to be laughing at me.

38:31Felix White:So stuff like that, I think you're aware of. But again, it's just the nature of everything. We do so much social media stuff with the club and players are just used to it now. They watch everything on the social media channels. Well, Bashir famously, he got picked, didn't he, from Ben Stokes, seeing him clipped up. There was a clip, I think, at first. I don't know whether that's myth. I think there's a bit of tax on it, but it might be where he first saw him. But I don't think he picked it on the back of one clip.

39:02Jimmy Anderson:No, it's good. It feels like a good thing. It actually feels like you shouldn't be watching it. It feels like a secret. it like oh my god i'm watching manas labashay play for glamourga this is amazing that feels that feels exciting that feels exciting to me anyway exactly like you're saying though greg just even i think the lancashire stream as you've mentioned jim is very good it's like watching tv but in some of those live streams just for lack of production value it's just fantastic just can't wait to just have that on in the background not have something shouting at me just be drifting away and I just want batters I don't want anyone scoring 300 in half an hour I want you blocking and leaving for your life if you can go to the boundary in that first day of county cricket then you're in trouble actually in the dressing room you block your life depends on it thank you they should be docked points actually for scoring too quickly in the championship yeah I just want it to matter too much to you yeah but we're because also in the background and we're making lunch in the kitchen and we have to have an eye on the kitchen and an eye on the telly.

40:06Jimmy Anderson:So we need a bit of time. We don't want to miss 40 runs. We want to miss five. Exactly. So you don't want to come back and be like, hang on, he's 60 not out. Yeah. You want to come back and he scored three. But it's also, you make a good point about things not shouting at you. It's going to be so nice to watch cricket on telly, on YouTube, where every 15 minutes we're not getting an erectile dysfunction advert. but i thought it was very telling that isn't it young people watching cricket but it's like so why would we have that it's about death and erectile dysfunction or like it's erectile dysfunction shutters for your property are you worried about life insurance all right i don't want michael parkinson telling me about a free pen you can get with your life insurance for the benefit of a tape shark he's raised his hand to say yes he is worried about funeral costs but he's been worried about that since his 18th birthday yes I love his sticks Melissa we've got to put a bit away remember we're a rainy day and believe me there's going to be a few rainy days of you marrying me oh little Charlie Brown Everton fan famous off-up what?

41:16Felix White:Klaus gone mate we're going to qualify for Europe

41:20Jimmy Anderson:Klaus gone mate can I quickly ask you Can that, you know, imagine you wanted new ideas for merch. There's one. Clouds gone, mate. We've qualified for Europe. Yeah, that's actually quite a good clouds gone, mate. Can I ask you just a crickety question? Jim, is there a difference in feeling at Lancashire? Obviously, you can't tell us about all teams, but it does have a feeling that this month or next couple of months, England places are up for grabs. So if players do have a good, whatever it is, three or four back-to-back county games in whatever aspect they do, maybe not in the middle of the batting, but everyone else might get a chance.

41:53and there might be a bit of impetus on that England team. Do you get that sense? Like it's a bit of an old school feeling?

42:00Felix White:Yeah. I just think lads are excited to play. When you've been in the indoor school for three months and then we had a week away in Spain last week, everyone just wants to get out on the field and do well. I think a lot of lads will just want to stake a claim for their place in this team. And then whatever happens, happens. I think, as I said before, there'd be lads with have got eyes on franchise cricket guys wanting to get into the england team but the way you do that is by focusing on what you can control and that's your performance for the club and you try and block everything else out can i just say that we just said that izzy's a dog and her cat has just gone across the screen that was so weird izzy we were talking about cats or dogs for people listening there's just been on screen and it was just a cat on the screen it It was like Izzy was a cat.

42:49Zeus.

42:50Jimmy Anderson:Zeus decided he wanted a bit of screen time. Go well, cheers, Zeus. Lovely Zeus. Also a great name for one of the Newbury bats in the late 19th and aughties. Izzy Wong, welcome back to Tailenders. Thank you for having me back on Tailenders. You're welcome for having me on Tailenders. We messaged you in a panic and we got loads of listeners on as well. On Instagram, they popped up. We had Gavin Edgar and we had Cat. Not going to try the surname again. and now you, you were having a flat white, I believe, when I messaged you. I was having a flat white, yeah. Yeah. I feel like you're always having flat whites.

43:22Jimmy Anderson:Yeah. It's only my second flat white of the day. So you only need the house to pick it all flat whites. Yeah, literally. We were also talking about the fact that you can put everyone on earth into either dog or cat category and we all agree that you were in fact a dog. Rough. I quite like cats. What was the criteria? No, no, no, I like it. No, no, I like it. It's an aura. It's just an energy you give off. You're warm-hearted, big-hearted. There's a cat walking behind you again. I was going to say, you can't admit any good cats. Look at this guy. Anyway. Matching is lurking today with bad Wi-Fi.

43:57Jimmy Anderson:And I don't know whether it's bad Wi-Fi or you were annoyed that there was another Bristolian on it. Maybe both? I was so confused because Sharky said, quick, come on, come on. Then I saw Gavin Edgar's on and I thought, I don't know, is this some 90s cricketer that I don't know who it is? I'm Googling Gavin Edgar cricket. No, police Scotland. Anyway, well, look, Izzy, as you're here and Jimmy, as you're here as well, Matching has got a quiz. Should we finish the podcast off with a quiz and then we'll let everyone get back to their lives? Love that. I'm sure you'll come on Izzy. This has been such a welcome hour.

44:30Jimmy Anderson:I've loved this so much. Well, it's just, I don't care. This is a great use of holiday. I love this. And it was unexpected twists and turns of tail enders. Gavin Edgar. You literally couldn't write it. I want you to have a go at Kat's surname again Greg yeah go on I think it's Chimon Chimineides Chimineides Chimineides Chimineides Chimineides Chimineides Chimineides Chimineides she um she's just messaged me back saying absolutely mental thanks guys yeah go on Kat Kat Chimineides there you go cool there you go go on then give us a quiz here is a brand new quiz thank you for having us Well, I wanted to celebrate IPL launching this week.

45:15And also, this podcast will drop on April Fool's Day. Welcome to AIPL... Welcome to AIPL Fool's Day.

45:28Jimmy Anderson:Right. Thank you for having us on AIPL... AIPL Fool's Day. AIPL... AIPL Fool's Day. Thank you for having us on AIPL... A.I.P.L. A.I.P.L. A.I.P.L. A.I.P.L. And look, I know I've been coming up with original quiz content for many years, but cards on the table, this is the first time ever, as it's A.I.P.L. Fool's Day, this is a loving quizzical ode to David Mitchell's Unbelievable Truth, which is on Radio 4. So I have cleanly stolen the format, just this one time for A.I.P.L. Fool's Day. Just this one time. Just this one time. So this is like a Radio 4 panel show quiz, all right? Okay.

46:13AOPL 4's Day is filmed in front of a live studio audience. Please welcome Izzy Wong, Jimmy Anderson, Greg James and Felix White. This panel show is about incredible truths and barely credible lies. Okay, here the rules are as follows. I will present a short lecture about the IPL. Okay? Okay. This will be entirely false. I tried to do this with Nadine and she didn't get any of it so I'm a bit nervous the format is not going to work everything I say in this lecture about the IPL is lies, I've made it up except for seven hidden truths seven? that looks like a lecture which the panellists will have to try to identify okay?

46:57seven? so I will try and smuggle past the truths so if I smuggle past a truth I get five runs if you identify a truth within the lecture you buzz in you say and then you get five runs shark you'll be keeping score so just for the listeners everything I say in this lecture is lies but there will be seven hidden truths

47:18Jimmy Anderson:this is the unbelievable truth this is the exact format he just said it was original oh no he said this one's completely oh no he said this one legally are we okay that's okay if you just say I have ripped this off completely It's a BBC format. Do go and listen to The Unbelievable Truth with David Mitchell on BBC Sounds. Okay. This is like last week when we had to make a decision as to whether we could play the clip from The Office on the podcast in case Ricky Gervais sued us for saying how great The Office still is. And we did use it in the end, didn't we? Well, there was a huge high-level panic.

47:59Jimmy Anderson:Everyone was like, oh my God. Has he sued us yet, Sharky? I don't think he's sued us yet. I've still got my house. Have you still got your place, V? I've got my Wi-Fi. Yeah, he hasn't come through it yet. My Wi-Fi's dodgy. I don't know if that's anything to do with Ricky Gervais. Oh, could be it. That's how it starts. First, they take your Wi-Fi. Okay. First, they take your Wi-Fi. They cut you off at the knees. They take your Wi-Fi and then they take your house. Yeah. So, if you think you spot a truth in this lecture, buzz in. Let's hear your buzzers. Izzy, can I hear your buzzer? Woof. Greg? gonna say if that would have been a meow then i'd have been cross greg greg see you back felix thank you no no not a cat jimmy oh sorry jimmy's in his car okay okay so if you hear a truth episode if you hear a truth you buzz in okay that can't make it any clearer do play along at home okay the IPL was formed in 1845 comfortably predating test cricket by 50 years with the help of Mr.

49:06Beast's great great great granddad it was the first major sporting event to be broadcast on YouTube the man who founded the IPL was squeaky clean Indian entrepreneur Lalit Modi after launching the IPL that's the truth meow yeah that is true five runs after launching the IPL.

49:23Jimmy Anderson:Oh, sorry, I got confused about what this was. Yeah, I was looking for a lie. Yeah, sorry. I have no idea what's going on. That's the truth. Also, the YouTube ones are truth. Buzz in. YouTube?

49:39Correct, five runs. YouTube, the Indian Premier League IPL was the first major sporting event in the world to be broadcast live on YouTube. So if you hear a truth, buzz in. Yes, we've got it now. After launching the IPL, Cheeky Chappy Modi faced a smear campaign against him by rival Indian businessman. They tried to discredit him by saying he only scanned every third item at the Big Tesco self-checkout, he never worked up after himself after weeing on the seat, and that as a student in America, his favourite hobby was trafficking cocaine and kidnapping. Although it must have been stressful for Modi being removed from the franchise he started, on the bright side, Dr Dre credited Modi for one of his most memorable lyrics.

50:19after Modi was seen being dragged out from the IPL headquarters Modi was caught on video shouting I started this IPL and that's the thanks I get the Indian authorities the Indian authorities not happy with just firing the IPL creator they went even further they confiscated his DVD box set of the 2005 ashes they deleted all his social media account including his Facebook where he had over 423 friends they forced him to apply for residency in remote Pacific Island of Vanuatu and they restricted him to only subscribing to one cricket podcast. After much deliberation, Modi chose the final word pod.

50:58Let's look at the colourful lives of the players that have lit up the IPL in the past few years. Some fun facts. Big hitter Virat Kohli owns a swanky chain of jacket potato restaurants. AB... Worth the truth. Incorrect, he does not. Minus five runs. AB de Villiers moonlights... I hear that horn. A.B. De Villiers moonlights as a pop star and has released an album full of bangers. And Sachin Tindalka is a huge Harry Potter stan and once asked Daniel Radcliffe for his autograph. Who's that again? Harry Potter? Sachin Tindalka asked Daniel Radcliffe. Rachel Tindalka? Incorrect. Daniel Radcliffe stood in a queue with other fans to ask Indian cricket Sachin Tindalka for his autograph.

51:42A huge cricket fan. I've switched on it. Radcliffe waited for his turn to get a signature on a playing card, later calling Tendorka a legend. Okay, the IPL is predominantly played in... I've just seen Jimmy with all these selection problems in his head just sitting through this thinking... The IPL is predominantly played in India.

51:59Jimmy Anderson:Is Daniel Radcliffe going to be opening the batting for the legs? Yeah, I just don't...

52:08Sorry, it was on my mind, yeah.

52:10Jimmy Anderson:He did that face. He's like, well, maybe Daniel Radcliffe should be up. Maybe the sorting hack can get this done for me, actually. Josh Bahannon, you're in Hufflepuff. The IPL is predominantly played in India, but if the schedule doesn't quite work, they've also played one season in Grantham. Woof! Oh, not Grantham.

52:39It was so good until Grantham. they played one season in south africa and during covid they played it on zoom it has given us some of the best players in the world statistically rowit sharma is the ipl yeah okay that's not quite right statistically rowit sharma is the ipl's best batter adam gilchrist is the best bowler and these superstars are all watched by ipl super fans denise welsh andrew garfield and fred again thank you for listening enjoy the ipl guys you were rubbish at that. Was the Fred again one? No.

53:14Jimmy Anderson:I think we just enjoyed it. Go on then, what did we miss? Who liked it? Was it the easy Welsh? Like the IPL? What's the true one? IPL founder Modi was guilty of smuggling cocaine and kidnapping whilst he was a student in America. Go well. Go well.

53:32Hashtag television I take over. He also usually

53:42Modi was also he also fled India in 2010 to avoid prosecution for financial irregularities and his Indian passport was revoked move well for a laugh

53:58and so he had to apply for a passport in Vanuatu

54:01Jimmy Anderson:you know we're worried about Ricky Gervais legal proceedings I'd be way more worried about Lalit Modi personally. Go and read Lalit Modi. Go and look up Wikipedia's, Lalit Modi's Wikipedia page. It is the most insane Wikipedia page, and I've read a lot of anyone I've ever read about cricket. Like, he needs a Netflix series. Sharky's worried about the lawyers. Sharky. I'm sure it's all true, but I won't lie. Your source material is Wikipedia. No. And legal action. Well, you know, as always, Sharky, good luck in the edit. Number four, A.B. De Villiers released a pop album. He developed a passion for music from his childhood and released a bilingual album called Make Your Dreams Come True.

54:50Bilateral bilingual album inaugural. It was probably out on multiple formats. Multi-format, vinyl, DVD, CD, digital. Also, the IPL. And each one mirrored how good he was at each format, okay? Also, the IPL was once moved to South Africa in 2009. The Indian government told the BCCI that they couldn't spare any police officers during the election for a billion people. So they relocated it to South Africa. And truth number six, Adam Gilchrist is statistically the greatest bowler in IPL history. He's only had, he's done one ball and he got a wicket. So he's bowled an average of zero, economy rate of zero, strike rate of one.

55:34Legend. truth number seven, Andrew Garfield is a keen cricket enthusiast. He watched the IPL whilst promoting Spider-Man and during an early period of unemployment in his acting career, Garfield worked as a cricket coach's assistant in the UK. Oh, no way.

55:48Jimmy Anderson:Oh, that's good to know, isn't it, Sharknado? Sharky, you've got that, Daniel. Sharky's been trying to book Paul Franks for the last 24 hours, unsuccessfully. Let's go a bit higher. Let's go for Andrew Garfield and Daniel Radcliffe. Ask Spider-Man first, then Paul Franks, maybe, next time. Then Harry Potter. just a bit of behind the scenes for tail enders listeners if i can't get paul franks i can't get you spider-man okay sharky was trying to get someone for the county championship preview yesterday he was just talking to him he was talking to himself on the group for a bit yesterday he was like we're trying to get someone from knots we might be able to get and then a bit later might get be able to get paul franks and then some of us came back and went oh i don't know if we if we want paul frank's unavailable anyway

56:39Jimmy Anderson:i'm faded up

56:43he's not even a main coach at knots all right okay do you want to talk you through it no i want you i want you to talk us through how you're going to get spider-man on the show

56:55Felix White:paul was busy this afternoon Easter holidays you know I'm joking

57:03Jimmy Anderson:Anyway Happy Easter to Paul Franks and everyone at Knott's and everyone in the county the county championship That was a great quiz I loved that AIPL Fools Day Thank you so much for having us on AIPL Fools Day Right let's round this off with some go well just a quick one then so the county championship is played over two divisions of course Let's just do a quick div one. Essex, Glamorgan, Hampshire, Leicestershire, Nottinghamshire, Somerset and Surrey. Go cheers. Warwickshire, Yorkshire and Sussex. And Division 2 is Derbyshire, Durham, Gloucestershire, Kent, Lancashire, Middlesex, North, Hance and Worcester.

57:40Jimmy Anderson:16 points for a win, 8 for a tie or a draw. And there's loads of batting points and bowling points and everything. But it all kicks off on Friday and you can watch loads of it on YouTube. You can follow it all on the BBC Sport app, on the BBC local radio stations as well. They'll be carrying commentary on the BBC Sounds app, which is really exciting and great for the Anoraks and newcomers as well. Try it out this year. It's really nice to get into it and find some new players and just follow some lovely undulating cricket. Oh, what a nice phrase. Oh, and by the way, we'll see loads of you at Lourdes on Friday.

58:14Jimmy Anderson:Middlesex, Gloucestershire, the big one. It looks like it might be raining a lot. Could be a washout. Could, hope not, hoop not. but even if it is raining we're going to go down there and have a chat and just have a nice time because that's what we do because we're cricket tragics, remember Good, alright Go Wells Let's start with birthdays Human being birthdays, human being ones Jack Also a goer to Jack's sister Sophie who will captain Somerset's ladies team this season Also Stanley and Daisy Sophie Lough Oh, there you go yeah do a big give it what's what's Sophie Luff like Sophie Luff going out my best mate Charlie Dean so yeah they're just hanging out oh that's nice she makes excellent baked goods great go well cheers go well cheers cricket clubs human being cricket clubs human being ones Penn Street Hits and Misses who are a new ladies team based in Penn Street near Amersham would like to say that new players are welcome.

59:19Jimmy Anderson:The Sussex Disability Teams, a big shout out to them, especially the Super 1s and the Super 9s. Broccoli Cricket Club, Grange Cricket Club, especially the mixed under-12s, plus Burton Latimer Town Cricket Club as well. Go well. Cheers! A huge go well to the England women's deaf football team who won the European Championships. Go well to you. Go well. Cheers, cheers. Billie, who's aged 13, has listened to the entire back catalogue, and it took Billie about a year and she's very dedicated. Billy, thank you and a huge go well from all of us. Go well. Cheers. A huge run well to everybody who's running the London Marathon in a couple of weeks time.

59:58Jimmy Anderson:Mark is running it blindfolded for charity. He hopes to break the world record for a blindfolded marathon which is 3 hours and 20 minutes. Wow. Go well. Run well. Run well but run carefully. New Tail Enders, this is a A special shout out for Laith, who is Gareth's fourth child since the podcast has begun. Baby! Wow. He also thinks that he might well... Is that just this episode? Yeah, it's been long enough. He also, he thinks that he might need to appear in the next Snipwell, Googly News, vasectomy section of the shout outs. Yeah. It's four kids and nine years. Zach, Evangeline, Colin, Freddie and Theo also a brand new tale enders.

1:00:42Baby!

1:00:44Jimmy Anderson:To you and me and babies, to you and me and ones. Arvie emailed in after the last podcast saying that with all the chat, articles, podcasts and interviews about the review into the ashes, he now has coined a new term, which is he has key TSD. Yeah, great term. Wed well to Em and Liam, also Baker and Nicky. Bilateral in all weddings, to you and being ones. Cheers. We've got some googly news for Charlie. His kids, Olive, Florence and Peggy, all had announcements on this podcast as well. But just so you all know, Olive, Florence and Peggy, that's it. No more brothers and sisters for you. That's the gang sorted.

1:01:26Jimmy Anderson:Unless, of course, your parents split up and you might have step. But in this iteration of the family, there's to be no more. You can also reverse a vasectomy, can't you? You can also do that. and we can do a reverse phystectomy shout out as well. Reverse way. And an email from Sarah to finish with. Hello, says Sarah. In interest of the gender Billy balance, some women's googly news. I've just had a hysterectomy and endometriosis excision surgery. I'm hoping to not miss loads of the cricket season, but I'll be taking it very easy for the next six weeks. A huge go well to Sarah and get well. And we hope that you're back playing very, very soon.

1:02:10Jimmy Anderson:Go well and get well. Cheers. All right. Jimmy, thank you. Felix, thank you. Magic, thank you. Izzy, thank you. Charnet of the movie, thank you. Gavin Edgar, thank you. Kat Chimanidis, thank you. And we'll be back on Friday live at Lourdes for chat if you want to. You can email tellenders at bbc.co.uk. You can review, you can like, you can subscribe. And we will be back next week, hopefully. happy Easter happy eggs happy Edgar's happy Easter Fool's Day and TellEnders by the way is a Persephone production for BBC Sounds happy AIPL Fool's Day and go well cheers cheers cheers cheers woo lovely welcome to the Wayne Rooney show Wayne Rooney, Kay Curd and me Kelly Summers break down the biggest stories in the Premier League and beyond he's gone in quite quick but he hasn't caught him high.

1:03:09Jimmy Anderson:I just don't think it's the red cards. Plus, we'll hear the funniest and most outrageous stories from Wayne's career. I was going into positions and doing things I shouldn't have really been doing, but you do it because you feel like you have to, and that helped us drive on and win the FA Cup. The Wayne Rooney Show. Watch your night, player. Listen on sounds.

1:03:29Jimmy Anderson:He's widely recognised as one of the greatest footballers in history. He's won the prestigious Ballon d 'Or Award five times. He's the all-time leading goal scorer in professional football. And according to the Bloomberg Billionaires Index, he's the first active footballer in history to achieve billionaire status. Guess who we're talking about yet? That's right. Good Bad Billionaire is exploring the life and fortune of football icon Cristiano Ronaldo. That's Good Bad Billionaire from the BBC World Service. Listen now wherever you get your BBC podcasts.