Doom and gloom / Hope and happiness

25:05James Anderson:Let's move on to reasons to be cheerful. one final question on the Australia batting line up for the next test would you open with head yeah and you just say thanks a lot Usman you've been a great guy see you later well it depends I feel like you could bat him in the middle order Kawaja or you could say cheers just make sure you get your back right fully fit again we're going to go with head at the top and then you could bring Mitch Marsh or Bo Webster into that middle order who more bowling option Mitch Marsh another bowling option scary strong that batting line up and then let Travis Head go out and try and do that again yeah and we thought a little bit about how we bowled and then getting out at 130 Jim but do you feel like that attack worked as a five prong attack did you feel like oh we've got something right here well I think 100 % obviously did work in the first innings yeah we not only did we bowl them out cheaply as we've talked about landed a few blows as well so I think that would definitely be in their heads so I would not be surprised at all if we go in with the same 11 as we did at Perth but then I just as I mentioned before I just wonder whether we lack that little bit of nuance in the second innings with a bit of something different, a bit of change of pace in some way whether it's a spinner, whether it's a more controlled bowler but in the first inning Stokes did that job I thought the old ball really Gus Atkinson I was really impressed with in the first inning didn't get any wickets in the game but thought he bowled well, Joffre looked great Mark Woodbold, rapid, again, wicketless, but lots of positive signs there, I thought.

26:40James Anderson:Is it a concern that Stoke took the majority of the wickets? Or is that just a unit working well together? That's just the nature of the game. Quite often it happens like that where, you know, Joffre could have got four for in that first spell. Gus Atkinson could have took three for, and then there's not many wickets left for. But because they've created pressure, Stokes can come on. But to your point about having a little bit of some variety, Stokes is that variety. He's a very different bowler to all the other seamers. But what I guess I'm getting at is in a world where Stokes, his knee, his body could give out at any moment.

27:17James Anderson:You might need that variety from somewhere else. Where does that come from? So, I mean, there's all different ways you can get variety. When I was watching it, I did think that they're all slightly different, those bowlers. but the release points are quite similar. They've all got quite straight arms. I know they all move the ball in different ways but that's why Stokes is different. His release point's different. It's a little bit past the vertical and that's where I thought maybe someone like Josh Tung could come in and he's also got that sort of release point. He's still got the pace that they want but potentially he could be someone that you could throw in there just for a bit of difference.

27:56James Anderson:It's not over this, by the way. No, it's far from you. I cannot judge this series on that first test. And I know it was sad for us watching at home. I wanted my whole weekend to be Ashes based. I said to Ellie Oldroyd, if this England team ruined Christmas, I'll never forgive them. I'll never forgive them. But it was horrible for everyone who was out there. And I do feel sad for those people who bought tickets to go and see their first Ashes test. But it's just, sport is a nightmare. Being a sports fan is a nightmare. Being a cricket fan is a disaster waiting to happen. But it is also, I will say, just to be cheerful about it, you must rhyme with this a little bit, Jim, that in that batting unit, if you think about Rootbrook, Duckett, Stokes, there are players in that that are clearly capable of scoring big runs in Australia.

28:46In the past, we've had teams where you've just felt like, whether it's unfair or not, they're just probably about 30 % actually out of their depth to actually, you're thinking, I don't know how we're getting the runs. They shouldn't be there. With the rest of this series, you're feeling like there's no doubt in anyone's minds that that order is capable of scoring runs. That's why people were pissed off, though. Exactly.

29:07James Anderson:We know how good you are. You are genuinely some of the best players on earth. Right. But they've got four tests to make good decisions. And they've still got a lot of time to make a lot of good decisions. I thought generally, like watching that first morning, I thought Duckey looked so assured. I know you got 21 off 20 balls but I thought he looks cool here he's calm Polk was scoring as well at the other end so I think there were some good signs there it's just about you've got to be ruthless in these sorts of series and situations you've got to go on and get the bigger scores and we didn't quite manage to do that this test Yeah and it was all in fast forward that whole thing no one could catch their breath no one knew what was going on I don't think it was even time to really assess what was happening and to change your plan it was just too quick They lost nine for 100 after lunch.

29:56James Anderson:Unbelievable. In one session, isn't it? The other weird thing is to get, even to get to 200, England probably didn't even deserve that. They didn't even deserve to get to 200 ahead for the final chase. But I'm still, I'm not holding out. I'm not giving up. No, I actually feel more optimistic. There's four tests there. No, I know. No, but some of the language from some of the pundits and some of the podcasts, I've gorged on all the podcasts. It's like, it's all over. it's the this is the they'll be judged for this and you know they'll have to repent for their sins I know a lot of that but it's I don't think we're there yet two more tests and we're like this then we are f***ed I've got a quick question for you please as fans yes like proper diehard fans ish would you rather ish what's the ish not die I mean I'd die I'd die for cricket I'd die hard alright as diehard fans thank you would you rather England get bowled out in that second innings for 160 odd or whatever they got in 60 overs say they're 20 for 3 30 for 4 and then they graphed up to 160 odd they've got a 200 lead but it's at lunch on day 3 or in the afternoon on day 3 would you prefer that or would you rather than just get bowled out for 167 it's a fantastic question you mean sort of get it done rip that bastard off the same result it feels like It feels like...

31:23Because when I look at the game and I hear people's opinion afterwards saying, we need to dig in a bit more. We need to graft a bit more. I've played in teams in Australia where if we grafted on that first morning, we'd be 120 all out in 45 overs. So you're just delaying the inevitable. But the destination... They've got a chance of scoring some runs. And the flip to that is if Khawadra had opened that innings for Australia, we might have gone... They might have gone nowhere and we might have got them in trouble type thing. So I think it's a really good question. It's about... What in traditional English cricket fans is an acceptable way to get out?

31:58James Anderson:Slow painful death. Yeah. And that is acceptable. Nicking off blocking. Yeah. Totally acceptable way to get out. Thank you. That's fine. If you just push it a wide one. See you next week. Just have a full blown drive. No. Unacceptable way to get out. Unacceptable. So I think that's a really interesting point that you've raised. And it also links into something that I think is fascinating at the moment about accountability. because you have this sort of swarm where people really wanted them all to apologize for everything they want to put their anger something i mean we're seeing it a lot in all sport at the moment like when um spurs got beat 4-1 i felt like the guy interviewing Thomas Frank wanted him to sort of apologize for being alive and he's trying to say no i'm so sorry yeah and stokes is obviously he he's not going to give an inch is he so if he feels like he's trying he's so alpha if he feels like someone's trying to make him feel ashamed.

32:51He's not going to even give you the slightest sense. Do you know what I mean? But internally, they probably will be going back and thinking, okay. Yeah, of course. In the public eye, Stokes will be protecting his team. He's got everyone's back and he'll protect the pride of Lions. So I think that's from that point of view, he'll be doing that. But definitely when they're away from the public eye, they'll be thinking about, you know, Where can we get those one percenters and change a little bit of this and that to make sure that when we get in that position again, if we're 100 ahead with nine wickets left, we absolutely make sure we stand on their throats.

33:32It's so mad. The amount of, because it's so, if you think about batting, 0.0, whatever it is, reaction time, and the amount of scrutiny, but sort of a decision that you have to make so quickly. It must be a mad headspace for a batter now to have two weeks to think, okay, so nothing outside of something. But you've got to, it's got to be instinctive as well, purely instinctive when you're batting, isn't it? Because you can't make a decision that regularly, that correctly. You're going to have to play. Do you see what I'm saying? yeah

34:03James Anderson:it's also sympathy with kind of everyone involved in this because if you're Ben Stokes the last thing you want to do is an interview straight after that sort of humiliation and it was humiliating really just giving the run around and it's hard no one tried to lose the test match like that and it was honest to say he was shocked he just said I'm shocked he said shell shocked and I think that's that's actually sort of enough he goes I'm shell shocked can we just not talk about this now I'll sit down with you in a couple of days time But the problem is you've got a journalist or a pundit going, I've got to get an answer here.

34:36James Anderson:We've got to get the soundbite. You've got Ben Stokes going, I'm not going to give you what you want, mate. And then you've got the fans going, yeah, but you've got to say sorry to us. But if you do then say sorry, you've got the Aussie team going, oh, they said sorry. It's really hard. You can't really win. So I don't know what, there's no answer. And it's not, it's uncomfortable, but it's sort of amazing drama. Yeah. Because these are, it's Shakespearean, all this stuff. It's so complicated and messy and imperfect and life. And I hated, in that moment, I hated that team. As you should do. Yeah, you have a few minutes.

35:10James Anderson:Oh, f*** you ruined my Sunday. But maybe it's nice for us to have something meaningless to moan about. There's only one thing that Ben Stokes can do to answer everyone's issues, and that is win the second test. That's it, isn't it? But sometimes I don't want my sports people to be talking. in. I just want them to be left alone. Go and do the thing that makes us all really happy when you do it well. Do you know what's going to be really good? If they really win the second test at distance, then it's going to be a face-off then, isn't it? Ideologically. I'm actually excited now. I was a bit clear before we walked in.

35:47James Anderson:I think the series has been ignited with some... The story is always the story. And this story is insane and we can't even make sense of it. I've got my list of reasons to be cheerful. But I am sort of cheerful that we get to talk about it and it's exciting at least and it's a talking point but can I just tick off a couple of things? Go on. Really just be cheerful. England's fast bowlers blitzed Australia in the first inning. Done that. Yeah. Smith, Green Lion, all clattered. Great. Stokes, Pfeiffer. Great. Harry Brook, Olly Pope, Ben Duckett looked great at the crease. Carson Atkinson getting some runs in the tail as well.

36:18James Anderson:So back quite deep as well. And with Mark Wood, he can score runs. There's stuff going on there. I actually think... Joffre can bat. Having said that, I think we're in the driving seat you know yeah did you hear Mark Wood on Mark Wood on Love of Cricket he said he was he looked on sort of route planner on his Google Maps to see if he could drive to Brisbane just to get just to get his head straight he wanted to do a road trip like a Roy Orbison yeah he's flying but quite a nice thing to do anyway like a Roy Orbison song but that's good that's the psychology of that is obvious to everyone just wanted to get out of there just drive away yeah I've thoroughly enjoyed this and I can't wait for the rest of this series I will be up to watch that first ball again we all will be because we're we have this we're being gaslit by our favourite sport it is this is not this is not a healthy relationship we're in with this sport and I'm really enjoying Jimmy being gaslit by it for the first time this is why the guy wants to keep playing forever I know because it's way more miserable on this side of it at least you're in the team you know millionaire and you go and play golf

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38:30James Anderson:Matt Chin Tendulkar. Hello. Hello. Can you see? Huge part of this podcast, Matt Chin. Thank you. You are a polymath. Yes. Really? You're now a cricket expert. Yes. You're a shoe salesman. Guilty. You were Bristol's 11th most famous resident at one point. 2021. At one point, yeah. Not anymore. Still counts. But today, you're a detective. I am. Oh! We sent you on a little, on a task. We gave you a case to go and crack. We said, go and find this guy that's gone viral. It came up on the WhatsApp group. I think Jimmy mentioned it. There's a guy who traveled to the game for the day three. He didn't make it.

39:16And that story, it became, went viral. It did. And I thought, how good would it be to get him on the pod? surely it can't be done.

39:23James Anderson:Yeah. You know, everyone must be clamoring for this interview. So you went into your Sherlock mind palace. Yes, I did. All the things just going past your head. I spent days there. And you've found, you've tracked him down. I tracked him down and I eventually found him on Instagram. Okay, that's how you did it. I followed him. I messaged him and I thought there's no way he's going to message back. Too famous. He bloody did. Even better than that, he's here with us today. We can say good day to Alex. Good day. Hey guys, how are you? Coaches. We're well. Yeah. Well, you know, all things considered, we, we, we didn't travel to Perth to go, to go and watch two days of what was sort of a test match, but didn't feel like one.

40:02James Anderson:How are you feeling? Yeah. A bit empty. Definitely test cricket list. Yeah. What a whirlwind that was. Hey, so. I'm feeling test cricket list. What a phrase. That's how we, yeah, we all feel a bit like that. Don't we? How are you feeling about being viral? Look, I got caught a bit vulnerable because we were just having coffee the morning after. Myself and my old man ran into a fellow Sydney-sider who I played cricket with growing up, Tom Decent, who is now chief editor of the Sydney Morning Herald, and just said, boys, might have asked you a few questions of how you're feeling and I'll see if I can work it into a story.

40:43And then landed back in Sydney and phone had blown up with, are the people asking, do you actually live in Germany? Or sorry, mate, to hear that you didn't see any cricket. So that was, it's been a bit odd. Yeah.

40:59James Anderson:And I guess also because you're Aussie, Australia won. So you're kind of happy with it. So you must feel like your story is not the sob story of actual England fans, is it? It's really not. We went to Lilac Hill the morning after where we got to see the Lions also get run over the top of. rub stuff into the wounds. Yeah, well, you didn't need to say it then, did you? Run over the top of. Don't say it then. Run over the top of. And there was some very hungover and like-minded Brits down there as well. So we could have woken up with no cricket and a loss, but to be able to sit in a pub and watch Travhead do what he did, things could have been worse, that's for sure.

41:43James Anderson:Yeah, you witnessed the birth of Travball. you were there it's the it's what everyone everyone's calling it but there is actually a sadness to this because you were going to go to the third day with your old man weren't you yeah so we don't get to go watch much cricket together these days obviously i've been away for four years now and we're both city cricket ground members so we could have avoided all of this probably and just gone to any of the five days down at the down at the city cricket ground but we've turned it into a thing where we're making the most of me being away and getting to cricket difficult and actually touring all the venues of Oz.

42:17So we did the Gabba last year, which was actually a rain affected day. I think we only saw 35 overs there last year. And thought let's give Perth a crack this year. And that hasn't gone too well either, but we'll persist. We'll persist.

42:34James Anderson:This is a wider question. And I thought about this a lot over the weekend. Go on. Is liking cricket worth it? Yeah. Because on Sunday, I genuinely thought, I hate this game. I can't be bothered. Because you felt sold short as an experience. Sometimes it's too much hard work. I wish I'd... Football, there's loads of it. If your team has a bad weekend, there's 30 more. You can plan around it. There's 30 more weekends. You get five tests in a series if you're lucky. if you're really lucky you get five days out of some of those it's just the odds aren't the odds are against us as cricket fans that we're going to have a nice time yeah isn't that's what we like about cricket though but the odds are against us is it?

43:22James Anderson:I don't know not this badly against us you would never walk back into that casino ever again yeah yeah I don't know the house always wins I've played cricket for 25 years and I've asked that question probably 20 times a year yeah for the last 25 years Do I actually like cricket? It's a great question. But Joe, what I was interested in is that because like what I've learned from cricket is everyone internally, as Jimmy has just said there, people like nothing more than no cricket being on in cricket. So there's been a lot of complaining about this two day test match. But actually, and I don't want to sound offensively, wouldn't you just be like, oh, day three, four, five, we're going down the beach.

44:05You know, all the cricketers are like, oh, no cricket. is there a feeling of like actually it's almost like performative complaining but actually everyone's like buzzing not if you only got tickets for day three, four, five if you're a fan

44:20James Anderson:I think if you're a journo and you've been doing it for 50 years and you go, I can't believe it they haven't gone to the third day but you still get paid for five still getting paid for five Agnew's getting paid for five, let me tell you but he has a couple of days off in Perth Yeah. So on that, Alex, what was the mood amongst the Brits? Did you dare to speak to any? Were you gloating in front of any of them? Did you dare? No, it's funny. You're talking about not liking cricket. And actually, Jimmy, you handed me a day two years ago, Hedge Bastion Day 3, where it also rain affected. We watched England bowl out Australia in a spectacular collapse.

45:01And then it rained for the rest of the afternoon, just enough that we didn't get our ticket refund for the day. and I was sat on the train from Birmingham back to London just going, why? Why? Why spending my London minimum wage on these tickets, you know, to watch Jimmy run through the Aussies at Edgbaston? And I was asking myself the exact same thing. And so I think I could sympathize a little bit with the boys out at Lilac Hill the other day where, you know, a few of them were a bit down and I said, you know it could be far worse it's a sunny day in perth the beers are cold just get into them and they'll fix everything yeah did you meet anyone else that also just had day three four and five tickets yeah there was i ran into a couple of brits who were only doing one or two tests of the tour um and only had perth or yeah with gabba so they had been through that too and a few sydney siders who were flying back with us who had spotted us and and and really were not liking that we were claiming all the limelight for me and my old man claiming the limelight apparently having James Picks tickets but they were doing the same thing yeah well someone please think of the Aussies that were short-changed especially when I didn't speak German they were really confused by that so everyone seems to pick German out of this yeah some of these guys

46:26James Anderson:have come from the Gold Coast yeah well Alex thanks for being on just quickly before you go You used to live in London and you've got quite a cool job that some tail enders, definitely me, will be excited about. Tell us about your job when you're in London. Yeah, well, the whole reason I'm into cricket is I am a cricket cricket curator. No way. A cricket cricket curator. Yeah, but when I moved to London, I didn't like the idea of how much cricket you guys play. So I went to the dark side, which is lawn tennis, and spent a few years working at a little tennis club down there in southwest London called Wimbledon.

47:02Oh yeah. Yeah. The last three years there working at Wimbledon on the lawns and the lawn tennis. And yeah, now that's, what's got me to Germany looking after lawn tennis tournament in Germany, but yeah, still good friends with all the guys in the venues across England. And yeah, I really pity what those guys go through in the summer. Don't get me wrong.

47:24James Anderson:Yeah. So many wickets to repair, especially with a hundred and stuff. What did you make of the pitch at Perth? Good question. Yeah. But I think he did a really great job, actually. I know he was quite stressed. I know of him and I know he's got some guys close to him. And, you know, he was stressing about the 17 wickets on the first day last year. And I just can't think about what he was thinking after 19 wickets on day one and then what he was thinking on morning three. But I don't think there's anything, any blame on him. I think it was a great wicket. I think Travis showed that to everyone.

47:53James Anderson:Yeah, I think Mitchell Stark and Travis Head proved that it was quite a good wicket. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and at times, England looked great on it too. At times, not for huge periods of time, but for times. No. Yeah, for a few minutes. If that was spicy, I guess I'm interested to see how things go in a week time under the lights at the Gabba. Yeah. If we thought Perth was spicy, I think we could have something coming up. It is impossible to predict. It's impossible. This whole series has the potential to be so unhinged. Yeah, a lot of people are predicting it now. It's predictably unpredictable. Oh, lovely.

48:30Very nice.

48:31James Anderson:Love a little catchphrase match. Very nice. Very nice. Alex, thanks so much for being on the podcast. And go well for the rest of the series, but not too well. Okay? Thank you, guys. Thank you. See you later. Cheers. Bye, bye, bye, bye. Ciao. Loved, Alex. That was a great find. You never know what you're going to find when you, you know, dig deep into these. When you stalk people on Instagram. We'll follow each other now. We're friends on Instagram. And, you know, you're always welcome, Alex. if you want to come and watch a test match over here. Oh, yeah, but he might be, do you know what I mean?

49:01He might come and watch no cricket here as well, and then you'll be in trouble.

49:05James Anderson:It's annoying, isn't it, when you get on well with Aussies? Do you feel like that, Jim? No. Okay. Have you ever got on with an Aussie, Jim? Yeah. You've got loads of Aussie mates. Do you? Yeah. Who's your best Aussie friend? Yeah, great question. I wouldn't say I have a best one. Who's your best Australian friend? If you're going to have a dinner party with three other Australians. Three now. Who would you invite around?

49:29who's coming to the barbecue barbecue now no next question no come on come on three three

49:34James Anderson:my favorite you have to have three all right um your life depends on this otherwise you're eating on your own he would like that i don't i don't want to alienate all the australians that i know yeah but who's your favorite who's the last australian you texted you've already done that jim probably chris green marcus harris who's also a teammate at lancashire okay and I'll stick Marcus North in there who's a former teammate of mine lovely yeah nice yeah nice gang is that alright yeah that's alright as long as it's the truth yeah thank you James for your honesty pleasure matching great work with Alex what else you got for us I don't even remember last week we played a little game it wasn't a game it was a bit it was a segment I remember last week yeah welcome to do you remember last week not that old yeah I do remember last week welcome to am I right the Gabbertoir edition.

50:27Thank you for having us on Am I Right? The Gabbertoir edition. So for those people that might not be too into cricket, but they want a little, something to drop into conversation in the pub or in the workplace, you can use these lines. Yeah. We verified by Jimmy Anderson and then you look like you know what you're talking about. Absolutely. Much like I do on this podcast every single week. Yeah. Absolutely. So if you're at a stag do or a work trip or in the pub. Exactly. And you just need a line to help you fit in. Everyone's talking about the ashes. You're not sure quite what to say. You sidle up and you say, guys I'm not sure if you know this but the Gabba pitch is old school a traditional built in wicket not one of those modern drop in pitches grown off site and craned in like a giant doormat this is handcrafted wicket this place has character and personality baked into the soil am I right literally would you be reading it like you just read it there in front of people or okay just rolls off the tongue doesn't it

51:21James Anderson:it's quite yeah it's quite it's really good It is a really good point. And it's a good one for, I'd say, cricket nerds to talk about. Yeah, but I don't know. I think in a pub this week, you're going, what about that batting collapse, eh? Yeah. Oh, do you see Travis Edd? Yeah, I've got some other stuff like that. This is next level. It's good, though. It's next level. I think once you're in, once you've infiltrated a conversation, that's a great one. Maybe use that one for the third one. So you do, oh, they're always playing golf. Oh, do you see Ben Stokes have a go at Aggers? Oh, eventually you get to this.

51:48Okay. Well, I was going to say, Jimmy, do you feel the difference when you're playing between the baked in pitches or the crammed in pitches. Are you talking about a baked in pitch like you're Mary Berry? I don't really understand what you're talking about.

52:05You're talking about what's baked in me.

52:10Like a normal cricket ground. That is a normal cricket ground. It's grown there. Panic stations in the pub now. Baked in. Come on, let's go. I've got a game for the banger.

52:19James Anderson:This is great. This is a good scenario. you've just spoken to your genius cricket mate who knows everything about the game and he's going like what do you think about them baked in pitches and he's going what are you talking about? You're talking about baked in pitches like you're Mary Berry Please describe a baked in pitch to me please thank you He's thinking 4 in 20 blackbirds I'm going to get another drink I will Yeah come on Baked in pitch Baked in means I think my understanding is that it was grown there in the ground it's been there for years and whereas other grounds a lot of other grounds Melbourne the Optus they grow it elsewhere and they crane it in and they're like let's check that out whereas the Gabatois that's where it's been it's got characters it's been there for years it's got a story to tell yeah okay the pitch they'll be playing on will be the same pitch you bowled on no it won't but because they relay them don't they quite often yeah okay but I mean there's go on Jim I mean, you're describing a baked in pitch like a one-off at the Gabba, whereas 95 % of wickets around the world have been there for the majority of time.

53:31Can I just say as well, a giveaway is that you're holding your chair so tight now. The unusual bit is the drop-in pitches, which you get mainly, as you mentioned, Perth, MCG maybe. Those pitches in New Zealand, some places. some places but they're so rare that you get drop-in pitches that Brisbane is just your typical everyday cricket there you go back to more well it was until they've redone it they might actually use drop-ins now have you checked that fact baked in or drop-in okay I've got another

54:05James Anderson:point I was just thinking what are you thinking about to bail you out here a bit do you notice the difference bowling on a drop-in wicket no You don't? Really? You wouldn't notice it? I don't think so, no. Okay, interesting. Because it's sort of, they do, it's like quite a tight fit where they drop it in. It's knitted, it knits together. Yeah, yeah. It's not like a mind the gap sign where the dropping's gone in the outfield. They put the carpet in proper. They thought it through. Yeah, yeah, okay, yeah. So you don't really feel, I don't, I've never noticed a difference. Okay. Okay. Guys, yes, matching.

54:46It's not always, you guys are getting so down and out it's not all doom and gloom I'm not sure if you know this I'm not sure if you know this but I'm imagining what the conversation is around oh sorry this is scripted you're around the pub and you're going imagine the hubbub in the background okay look should we do that people have gone out there spent good money on that it's not all doom and gloom I'm not sure if we know this but root combat at the Gabatois, his knock of 89 in 2021 gives us hope. We don't need 11 heroes. We just need Joe to fix the root of our batting issues. Am I right? It sounds good.

55:28That actually worked for me. That did work for me. I liked that. Give us some more information on that. I had a flashback to our innings then, which was an innings of, do you remember that innings matching? Because we were doing tail enders when we did the innings. Yeah, I remember. It was great innings. Great innings, anything else? At the Gabba, at one of the baked in pitchers. That was an innings of absolute guts, that because i think we were because i remember he was batting in the third session and he ended up jim you were playing pointing his bat at the slip cordon who were like chatting at him and he was like surviving through the third session i'm thinking that is a sort of galactico ashes moment there i remember it really clearly nicked off next morning you'll make me a cricket is a joke because i was playing that game I don't remember any of that.

56:15Yeah, you won't remember it. I can't remember any of it. Okay. But we were in the hunt then. I remember we were in that game. Yeah.

56:22James Anderson:Well, we shouldn't write off the top order. Yes. Like everyone wants to. Because we've only had two days of cricket and you can't judge anything on that. And so we've got a lot of, that's a lot where the frustration comes from. We know that there's runs. That's what I think. Basically, we're overreacting. England have got a sort of England and English media have got a toxic relationship with this England team and the and Basbler like when it goes well everyone's like oh this is the greatest thing ever as soon as we have a little bad game this is oh my god it's over I'm never going to see him again we just need to just relax it's going to be anything could happen if I had said to you last week no batters are going to get any runs apart from Travis Head and it's going to be over in two days you would have laughed me at the studio alright come up with a prediction then for like a stupid prediction for Brisbane.

57:10James Anderson:And we'll laugh at the studio. See if you're right next week. Root's going to get a couple of wickets and Crawley's going to get a double ton.

57:24We'll see you as the last laugh match in. Get a double gin and tonic.

57:29James Anderson:And now a special treat for the audio only listeners. The Go Wells. Thank you for having us on a special treat for your audio only listeners. Matthew has just completed his first full adult cricket season playing 40 over disability cricket for Essex just at the age of 14. Yes, Matthew. Go well. Great county as well. Cheers. Cheers. Matching of distance shot. Cheers. Cheers. New tail enders. Babies. Human being babies. Human being ones. Alison, Otis, who apparently is already a tail enders listener, Oscar, Mabel, William, Benjamin, Oran and Harry. Go well. Cheers. Engagements. Human being engagements.

58:04James Anderson:Human being ones. Pooja and James and also Beatrice and Stephen. Go well. also Nick Nick and Polly are travelling to Cambodia for a laugh go well they're on the search for Fon Bumpian plus go well cheers we have some anniversaries Q &B anniversaries Q &B ones Hazel and Jacob go well cheers birthdays Q &B birthdays Q &B ones George the Greenkeeper we love you George come on George Eloise Bonnie Juliet Chris sorry Jay Maltby of St Fagan's Cricket Club Heidi Archie Thomas and Michael who's 50 not out and also Megan who is 50 not out as well and go well get well Megan go well cheers cricket clubs even being cricket clubs even being ones South Orem cricket club especially Michael who won players player of the year love it yeah but who was the players players player of the year I'd like to know next week also Michael won clubman of the year but who won the clubman's clubman please also Vinoraddy Cricket Club in the Czech Republic Dachworth Cricket Club are going out to Australia for the Ashes hope you booked tickets for the first day Exmouth Cricket Club Coburg Cricket Club and Whimple Cricket Club as well Go World Cheers Also Scott's listening to the back catalogue and is currently living through September 2023 Go World Oh wow Yeah What was that Was it a good time for us No it was just gearing up for a heavy No it's not Sorry It's not Gearing up for a heavy India defeat Yes Away so that's fun isn't it little India defeat coming your way spoiler alert and then the next Ashes series well that doesn't start well Scott so strap in weddings human being weddings human being ones Sam and Romilly Lucy and Max and Finn and Maddy go all cheers oh also they forced Jimmy Anderson to retire so that's still to come as well Scott against all of our wishes.

1:00:09James Anderson:Seb, but he does become a sir. So, you know, every cloud, every Rob Key based cloud. Seb wants to ask his brother Baz if he'll be his best man or in this case his Baz'd man. Okay. We're not going to get a response on that for a while, I imagine. But Seb, he wants Baz to be his Baz'd man. Go well. Cheers. Ash's travel wells. Lucy's off to the Boxing Day test with her sister Em. Gareth, Denham, Angus, James, Harry and Jacob are off to the test matches in Adelaide and Melbourne. And Jacob and Toby are off to every Ash's test. Someone's doing very well for themselves. Go well to all of you. And oh my God, I hope you get some cricket.

1:00:55Go well. I forgot to mention actually when we had Alex on that there were two lads who I heard about. who got some cheap flights and thought, let's get down there to Perth for day three. And they landed Saturday night. The game had just finished and they fly back on Wednesday. Don't worry, they could go to the Lions game.

1:01:24James Anderson:Kath and Rob went to Perth, but they're now off to Brisbane. Okay, fine. Travel well. Helena had tickets to the first three days of Perth so she got two days of cricket Cameron has headed down under to play cricket for the winter and recently hit 69 Anshul is listening in Nagpur where both Joe Root and Alistair Cook made their debuts Go El Move well to Brownie who's moving house Kate has just moved to Swindon for a massive laugh and finally happy birthday to well little old us. Tail End has started on the 15th of November 2017 which is eight years ago we missed our anniversary no way it's because we're so in it we're looking to the future always so go well to everyone that wished us happy birthday go well to all of you and a massive cheers we'll be back with another visualised podcast on iPlayer and YouTube but of course if you're old fashioned and stuck in the dark ages you can listen to the old podcast and that's all on BBC Sounds and you can listen to the Test Match on TMS as well.

1:02:30James Anderson:You can email us at tellenders at bbc.co.uk. Thank you so much, everybody. Go well. Cheers! This winter, cricket's oldest rivalry is reignited. England and Australia do battle to compete for the Ashes. That is extraordinary. Hear live ball-by-ball commentary on 5 Sports Extra. and get analysis and reaction of every day's play with the Test Match Special podcast. The steps are on the ground! Test Match Special at the Ashes. Listen on BBC Sounds. How did a boycott Jimmy become a billionaire from posting videos? On Good Bad Billionaire, we're going to find out how the world's most popular YouTuber, Mr Beast, made his fortune.

1:03:21He's buried himself in a coffin for days. Counted to 100 ,000 on camera. And even recreated Squid Games, all in an attempt to go viral on the internet. But it all started when he gave a homeless man$10 ,000. So is he a philanthropist reshaping capitalism? Or is he just the king of the attention economy? Find out on Good Bad Billionaire. Listen on BBC.com or wherever you get your podcasts.