The Little Yearns Special

29:30I'm rolling the dice. I'm charming as course of you, John Siraj. I do remember the worst one I had was... So I brushed past a batter as he was running between the wickets. I might have... Which batter? I can't remember. It was a one-day game. He remembers. So I was in there with the match referee. They showed the footage. They often show the footage and say, what do you think about this? This is what we're seeing. Yeah, it's like Call of Duty. And I was like, oh, we just got close. I'm not like drop the shoulder on him or anything. I'm not trying to shoulder barge him. And they were like, we think you've tried to block him, whatever.

30:04That's your progressive. So I've argued my case a little bit. Yeah. And then Nigel Long was the umpire. And he chirped up for no reason whatsoever. I went, what about tell him to f*** off when you got him out? that's not helping is it Nige come on nothing to do with you Nige nothing to do what's that got to do with anything and did they give you an extra percentage for that no no I just took that I accepted the fight did you tell Nigel I'm the f*** off what's Nigel I'm the f*** he's having a go what are you getting involved for swindle like little slugs that's that's amazing what a ridiculous sport we love it's so stupid crazy yeah incredible John John thank you That's a great little yearn.

30:46That's a fantastic little yearn. John, give us a little potted history of your current cricketing life. Have you played this season? Who do you play for, if so? I've not played for a long time. I'm more in charge of the kids around. Oh, yeah, because you're banned. He's been serving a ban. He's a danger. Lifetime ban. Lifetime ban. John, thanks so much for being on TailEnders. Go well. Cheers. John, you're an absolute liability.

31:18I love that they get you to review the footage. Oh, my God. It's so good. I want that so bad. Yeah, we're tempted to do a... Just rock and roll that for me. Let's have a look at that again. Yeah. Rock and roll that again. Have you got a different angle on that, please? Are you in your whites in the chat? Yeah, it's pretty much... They have to do it. They have to do it the day of the incident. They don't wait till the end of the game. They do it at the end of the day's play. Interesting, yeah. In a test match, obviously. but yeah you're often in your whites and they'll like so now you can't swear as well so if you get caught on the stump mic you get done so play that footage from what they hear lip reading as well if you can lip read someone saying something bad then that also gets pulled up you can't swear at all you can only swear on your head now yeah but also you get I remember, I mean it's so silly, you could get fined like 15 % for swearing.

32:18I remember Brodie got fined 10 % of his match fee for wearing the wrong coloured under top What? Underneath his shirt. How much? 10 % of his fee? That's stupid. What, wearing what? So in a one day game you've got, say you've got a blue playing shirt, you're under garment but you see lads wearing under armour tops where they've got like sleeves. if that's not the same colour as your plane top then you so what if Sugarman Gill's wearing black socks which you did in the test series the socks don't get pulled up what well they should be you know metaphorically and physically oh god okay these calls are too much for me they're so good let's have another shall we Alex is waiting Alex welcome to Tailenders hi Greg Felix Jimmy and Manchin hello so Alex what's your name and what's your little yearn what's your name Alex my name is Alex and my little journey is to have that feeling of placing a pair of sweaty gloves, sweaty pads and a sweaty arm guard on the boundary rope as I leave the field of play after a morning session of batting against some searing pace at Newlands in the New Year's test that means that I'm going to come back after lunch and they're going to be dry and crispy and warm and I'll get to put them back on again yeah oh my god i love the specificity of that yeah yeah really nice you've actually explained something to me there because i always wonder why people did that and is it to dry out sweaty pads in the session between that was my assumption wow yeah can we all know maybe well no i've seen other people do it and it looks really it looks really fun but they quite often they they'll the batters will go to the dressing room and take them off and have a 12 man run those down to the boundary and they put them on in the sun and then they bring get them brought back up like 10 minutes before they go back out oh they bring them back into the dressing room yeah oh nice it's like doing your washing outside and it's just like all the fresh airs makes it yeah really nice yeah one of those lovely days where you can hang your washing out yeah pads just on that i'd love I should have been able to do this in a 23 year career but I'd love to do the old glove sign to the top get some new gloves fresh gloves please new pair please yeah I love that yeah fantastic you've never done that?

34:46no I've never batted long enough yeah quite a good move to do it after two balls yeah Zach Cordy did do that didn't he in that last over no was it a bat or something in that last over in India he needed new something when you're trying to kill time Oh yeah, because he got pinned on the thumb didn't he? I was in the farm, I was sorry. I did actually, I had to get new gloves before I'd faced the ball at Cheltenham this year against Gloucester because I walked out with two right handed gloves. That's great. That's really rubbish. I didn't do the sign. I was shouting to the boundary. So your thumb was...

35:21No, I didn't have the gloves on. I was like, how did you work out? So you went, yeah you did have the gloves, okay. You walked out right. I thought something felt weird. I didn't have them on. They just went upside down. My little finger's well protected here.

35:40Alex, that's a really, really good little yearn. So, judging by your accent, I do detect a South African twang there. And you yearn? I'm a half-half. I grew up in England, but I lived here for the last 25 years. Okay. And so have you spent some time watching cricket at New Orleans? I have. I've been very fortunate to watch Jimmy play there. I've been to a number of news test matches. I was there when Jimmy caught the final wicket off-broad down the leg side a couple of years ago. No, more than a couple of years ago. And I was, yeah, it's like you've said a number of times. It's one of the greatest places to watch and play cricket, I'm sure.

36:15Yeah, incredible. Eyes on the SA20 and the golf courses out there and the wine. But mainly the cricket, obviously. There's nothing bad about South Africa in terms of cricket. Historically, but yeah. No, but in terms of experiencing it as a cricketer, the grounds are great. You know, outside of cricket is such a nice place. I would love to go and do a cricket trip out there. Well, Alan Lamb's invited us to a wine tour. Has he? Oh, yeah. Wine tour, cricket tour, whatever you want to do. Alex, thank you so much for being on TailEnders. Thanks for your time today. What have we interrupted? Thanks, Guy.

36:46You've clearly got a grown-up life and a job and stuff. What do you do? What have you interrupted to do this? I'm a teacher. I'm a deputy principal at a high school in Cape Town. Are you? Nice. Oh, you're beaming live from South Africa now? Yes, I am, yeah. Oh, fantastic. Oh, nice one. Is it a cricket-loving school? We're a very academic school, but there is a little cricket team that I was part of starting about 15 years ago that has played a few games. But, yeah, I mean, everyone loves cricket in South Africa, pretty much. But we're not like a big school. We're not like where Jonathan Trott went to school, which is just around the corner from us.

37:20That's a big, fancy school. Right, OK. Great. You can tell by his technique. Alex, thanks so much for being on Tailenders. Go well and enjoy the sunshine at Christmas, you lucky git. Looks like... Thanks, guys. I'll see you here for the 8th day 20 sometime. Yeah, man. We'll be watching Shivering at home in the winter months. Alex, go well. Cheers! Cheers! Go well. Cheers, guys. Cheers. So nice to have an international Tailender. Pop quiz. What's in your kid's lunchbox? At Whole Foods Market, they've already done the studying. Over 300 food ingredients are banned from their shelves. No hydronated fats in the peanut butter and no high fructose corn syrup in the cookies.

38:04And for sandwiches, there are no synthetic nitrates or nitrites in any of their deli meat. So you can pack lunch boxes with peace of mind. Get back to school ready at Whole Foods Market. There's nothing like the American Express Platinum Card. Find out your welcome offer after you apply, which could be as high as 175 ,000 points. Learn more and find out your offer at americanexpress.com slash explore dash platinum. Terms apply. They're popping up. Let's go back to the phones. And I believe we've been joined in the immortal words of Derek Thompson. I believe we've been joined by a beautiful lady.

38:45It's a man, actually, Derek. It's not actually a man. It is Eleanor. Eleanor, welcome to Tailenders. Hello. Hello. Hello. Welcome to Little Yearns, Eleanor. What's your name? What's your little Yearn? My name's Eleanor. Oh, yeah. Love you, man. And what I really like, so I went off to Old Trafford this year with my husband and my daughter, who neither of them like cricket, but they came along with me. and when England were in the field, we had Olly Pope up near us in the family stand and the crowd do the thing where they call out to the player near them because we don't get to see these people very often.

39:26We're in awe. But for Olly, he's just doing his job, isn't he? He's just at his day job. He doesn't want people. He can't turn around and wave and whatever people want to do. So he did a really lovely little movement with his hand, just a really casual like yeah yeah i know you're here oh my god respect your you love me i know i'm just gonna do a little like really casual and i was like oh that's good he's dealt with us he's acknowledged everyone he's putting an end to it i loved it oh my god i love it so much great subtlety on that is that your yearn just to be able to do that well then there was um a little kid shouted out again like ollie and it's like oh he's done his little he's done his little gesture yeah we've got what we needed yeah you've got to respect that kid yeah but then he was like ollie you're my favorite player i was like oh no he's just like oh that's it's too much and so then he just did this really little thumbs up but still with his hand down by his thigh just a little thumbs up little look a little look back up your shoulder a little like yeah little smile and i was like oh that's just gonna be so good just that acknowledgement like a young kid like that a thumbs up without really looking at the kids it's melted me it's so good because it's almost more intimate that he's done it in that very gentle subtle way yeah confidence exuding yeah i know exactly the gesture you're thinking of and i know the idea of just of being that person that's like too busy working, but still down to earth enough just to give a little, not nowadays, but like you say, being in control of a situation.

41:05It's like telling kids to calm down as a teacher and just having the power to quieten the class. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. How do you deal with the boundary? I ignore them. I feel like they're all pests.

41:23I'm joking. Go well. He's half joking. No. So what I found in the 100, right? Yeah. It's the loudest place. The speakers face the field. So on the boundary, all I can hear is music. So I'll get the odd one and then you try and wave and stuff. And the guy going, boom. Yeah. That's not working. We need to stop that. Along those lines, my favorite bit of that sort of crowd interaction is when you say you bowl a good over or you take a wicket and then you go down to fine leg and then everyone's clapping you as you run towards them and you just sort of tip the cap. Yes. That's the one I want to do.

42:08Yes. Tip the cap. Just one little. Just a little. Oh, God. When you've just two in and over. Oh, my God. You've just taken two in and over or something. Oh, yeah. Just doing my job. Yeah. Just doing my job. Just part of it. Oh, my God. I knew I'd do that. That's what it says. No biggie. I'll take two more in a minute. That's a really nice one, that, Eleanor. I love that from Olly Pope. I love it so much. It's such a tiny observation which speaks so much to the communication between a cricketer and the crowd. It's beautiful. How has your daughter managed to evade cricket, seeing as you're clearly a huge fan?

42:51Good question. I just haven't, I don't know. I think I just started her too old. She was just on her phone the whole day. She's never going again. Yeah. Unless I've got her on something. I think I took her twice. So the first, yeah, she loved it because it rained half the day. So we spent most of the day in the Trafford Centre buying her things. And she was like, can we go again? I was like, yeah, of course we can. What's the weather doing? It's sunny. It's very matching coded, isn't it? She didn't, she literally didn't care. She didn't care. Thank you for being on TailEnders. What have you enjoyed the most?

43:28One single cricketing memory from this summer. What's been your favourite bit? Apart from Ollypoke's thumb up. Oh, what did, I just, I liked seeing, so since we saw Bumrah, I really just loved his run up. I liked seeing it live. Yes. Loved it. That's a fantastic one. Just because it's, yeah, because it's very idiosyncratic, isn't it? but seeing it in a flesh it's a bit like wildlife spotting isn't it when you see all those motions like oh my god I've seen it in the flesh like a cheetah yeah yeah definitely it does feel quite it does feel it feels threatening to watch I think yeah I think you get quite scared watching it oh this is I'm very pleased I'm sitting 60 metres away anyway Eleanor thanks so much thanks for being on Tailenders and go well thank you actually go well thank you wait wait before you go you're wearing for the benefit of the people who aren't watching you're wearing a very natty headset.

44:22Is this part of your job or what do you do in your life? Are you a gamer? I work for a charity as a head of finance. Do you? And have you been sort of on work calls or are we just another one of your work calls today? I am just skiving, basically. Good. It's the only headset I own that works with, well, what's supposed to be my laptop but somehow I'm on my phone. I don't know what's happened. Eleanor, thank you so much for being on Tailenders and go well. Cheers.

44:55We have got another caller, which we'll do right at the end, but now she'll do the go wells. Yeah. Shall we? I'd love to do the go wells. She's really good at go wells. Can you do it so I can witness it? On this loosely based podcast. I can't believe he said that. I love it. That's it. Give people what they want. Katie is waiting in the wings to give us a final little yearn. But Matching, take it away. Who's on go-wells and who's on cheers? Can I go cheers? Yeah, I'll do go-well. Okay. This is fun, isn't it? Human being weddings. Is that what you say? No, weddings. No, you say weddings. Weddings.

45:33Weddings. Human being weddings, human being ones. Sam and Jess, Ryan and Lottie, Rachel and Gareth, Lindsay and Daz, Alec and Hannah, James and Harriet. Go-well. Cheers. Carney has passed his driving test aged 34 and he's starting a new job as an assistant as an assistant driving instructor as an assistant Travis Head assistant at Travis Head no it would be a head assistant head teacher but he's done a pun as well assistant head teacher it's just a play on on a nose it's a play on words okay I see I know you don't really care but an assistant Travis Head well congratulations on that that was a good job go well cheers cheers James would like to say a go well for all the players, club officials who write up match reports for local papers.

46:20He would especially like to shout out Matt Piller, who writes reports for Lewis St. Michael's Cricket Club. Go well. Cheers. Christian Well. Christian Well. Who's Christian Well? Christian Well. And a big shout out to Christian Well. He's been on again. Alex has emailed in. Can I just say, matson's christian well is one of the funniest things i've ever heard i rewound it five times and it got funnier and funnier every time actual tears whilst driving thank you alex go well cheers human being anniversary's human being once a go well to harry who is 10 and loves cricket Cricket loves, lives, I see trees of green, red roses do, it loves cricket, and he's only ten.

47:13He can also, he can also, he also likes doing, I have to edit this whilst. What are you talking about? Because he's not written it down properly. Sharky edits the podcast. Yeah, but he's not... He also likes doing impressions of me doing impressions of Jules Holland and Donald... Oh, Greg obviously is supposed to be reading this. He also likes it when Greg does impressions of Jules Holland and Donald Trump. Right, okay. Go, Earl! What about... Jules Holland introducing Donald Trump! There you go. And Donald Trump?

47:46I don't... Hang on. Yeah. Yeah. He's got two voices, hasn't he? He's got the... But also the... I can't really do it. It's too hot in here. What about Chris Martin? That's my favourite of yours. Okay, so, Jimmy, it's so great that you're here tonight at Wembley. It's so nice to be here in the... Shall we talk about the huddle? Yes, let's do the huddle. I finally got my go in the huddle. went to Coldplay with Jimmy also Zane Lowe Joe Wiley great gang Freddie Flintoff great gang we got invited into the pre-show huddle behind the stage at Wembley let's not forget Brian Eno I'm about to do the sorry Jesus you never guess who was there as well Brian Eno what's your name Brian Eno what's your little yearn he is actually a little year he's tiny he's a little yearn himself.

48:55Brian Eno and a little yearns. They wish. Very good record. They wish they could get Eno to produce it. Have you heard a new one? Brian Eno and a little yearn. Sorry. So what happens is you're in this huddle, quite a big huddle, and Chris goes, okay, so Freddie, I can't get my arms around you, you're so big. And he's like, I want to say thanks to Brian Eno for saving our band on X and Y. I want to say thanks to Greg and Zane and Joe for playing our songs and making the band big. And thanks to Jimmy for the wickets. oh did he say that he basically said like thanks to jimmy for the cricket and yeah and uh just want to say thanks to everyone and just let's go and have a great show okay let's go and you're like come on yeah let's go i ran on stage and got tackled by a security guard yeah and hands in the middle not literally there was hands in the middle yeah you go go play you called play yeah you go go well yeah we should have given him a go well yeah yeah a big girl was chris martin always always what a great show that is a great show I've got many ideas for the next tailenders yeah it gets you thinking it's going to cost at least it's going to cost 5 mil production we can probably get tickets at 15k it will lose initially but I think Coldplay have done it for 25 years I think they're making money now it feels like it doesn't it I haven't done the maths but it feels like it anyway anniversaries human being anniversaries human being ones Chris and Holly that's it go well cheers cheers I think I've done that one already Maddie and George smashed their exams this summer smashed it go well cheers engagements human being engagements human being ones Colette and Dave Emma and Ed James and Harriet Sophie and Pete go well cheers cheers birthdays human being birthdays human being ones Ellie and Bryony go well cheers Mitch has finished sorry Mitch has finished his chemotherapy Martin and Kate are off to see Jimmy and Fee in Hull.

50:50Go well, Mitch. Well, I think we need to go off the chemo first. Yeah, let's do that. Get well. Mitch has finished chemotherapy. Go well, cheers. Go well, Mitch. Martin and Kate are off to see Jimmy and Fee in Hull. Here comes Hull coming down the motorway. How do I get to Hull then? Go well. I'll travel, boy. Cheers. Move well. Whole city tigers. To Liam. Liam is off to Yorkshire. He's off from Yorkshire to Lincolnshire. That's not that far, is it? Go well. Cheers. It depends where in each county. Can I do a couple of go-wells for first? I want to say go-well to Lola, my eldest daughter, who starts her new school on Saturday.

51:28Huge. Go-well, Lola. She did really well in her exams. And a massive go-well to Dylan, who came to our live show last night, who is a big cricket fan and really sweet meeting him. Yes, Dylan, go-well. Can I ask you, do you help Lola with an exam when she's doing a revision? Lola well. Do you get involved in that? No. I'm not the person to help with exams. And that's why she's done so well. Well done, Lola. Legend. Cricket clubs. Newkey cricket club who just played their first ladies softball match. Okay. Old Nottingham's, Nottingham, Nottingmians, critic clubs. Kids Grove. Cricket clubs. Under 13s and thirds.

52:10Ellsworth cricket club. Overstone Park, under 13 girls who will be playing at Lords. I don't stand the chance with this one. Hibboldstow Cricket Club and Skirmersdale Cricket Club. Under... How do you say that? Skilmersdale. Quite a famous place near Liverpool.

52:28Skirmersdale Cricket Club. Under 15s. Go well to all you. Go well. Cheers. Mutual Edders. Human being babies. Human being ones. Matching goes babies. Babies. Nice. Finlay. Hayley. Daphne. and our friend Jake Massas just had a baby I've got what it's called Mir I think I've got that wrong maybe check otherwise we've just renamed it congratulations Go Well May May good job you checked Go Well Snip Well Googly News Human Being Batext Me to Human Being 1 to Justa James Go Well Cheers lovely Go Well that's it thank you Go Well's for next week tailenders at bbc.co.uk thank you everybody let's call Katie I've been told to call her on speakerphone

53:27it's ringing so shonky hello hello pretty good Katie welcome to tailenders your zoom's not working you've said try speakerphone we're doing speakerphone Katie welcome to the podcast what's your name what's your little year what's your name katie i'm katie play for fleetwood cricket club and my little year you know as you're going out the back minute we're starting to pitch right to run into the middle you start doing the silly little stretches like it a bit of a torso to it i'm leaving the background you go onto the knees stretch the back back and then start doing the shadow batting as you go on into the middle Yeah.

54:12Have you just fallen down the stairs? Do you need us to send help? Hello? Are you doing the stretches now, Katie? What are you talking about here? Are you doing... Are you doing anything? Yes, are you okay? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. No. We're not... and she's gone she's hung up okay well let's discuss Sharky maybe maybe call her back outside to see if she needs any medical assistance let's get her on next week to see if she's okay to be continued to be continued but that is a good one I like her yearn yeah the gist was yeah the gist is good it's fantastic batter stretches as they walk on let's discuss with her I like the Joe Root one that's really good because he's got different tempos he does a little jog and then he's just head down sprint sprint sprint but then bang bang bang with the bat yeah it's like The running sideways one and the imaginary headers that footballers do.

55:08That's his football little yearn before games. I remember Brodie, halfway through his career, I think, brought in a three bunny hop strategy before he bowled the first ball of a spell. Remember that? He would do three knee tucks. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just got to get my knees pumping, guys. Get the knees pumping like the commentator said. I don't know if you know this, but cricket is also theatre. Always. Never not a theatre. It's never not opening night. exactly crowd are there to be entertained remember guys yeah opening night yeah guys switch on yeah opening night tonight Broadway plus the West End equals theatre I'd love to get a batter's thought process of why they would why they play those shots as they go out to bat get the shoulders going maybe a little bit I'll tell you another one that I like which is similar to what Katie was saying which is when batters walk out and they've been in a dark changing room and they look out and they look right up into the sky and they open their eyes really wide.

56:09Oh, I love that. Just to change the dilation of the pupil. I love that one. Get used to the outside light. Let's switch on, switch on. Eyes open. Let's go. I really love that one. Bunny hop, bunny hop, go. Quick one, once you get to the crease, what guard are you taking? Oh, thank you so much for your question, Jimmy. I am taking mid and middle, but if I'm little yearning it, I'm going middle and leg because it just alludes to the fact that I really know what I'm doing. Do you know what I mean? And I know that in my game, I'm just having that little move into the ball with a bowling off stump line that gives me good momentum and rhythm in my shot making.

56:48So thank you for your question. Greg? It was always middle. Yeah. I would quite like to say to an umpire in a professional game, one leg, that'd be good. I'll take two. Yeah, two. I'm not even saying it just I love that Oh don't Just the one finger I love that Here's an embarrassing thing That I definitely did When I was a kid And actually Whenever I bat Which is When you first start Playing cricket You take guard And you use one hand One arm But then it's cooler To use two And so you're a bit more hunched It's much cooler To be in control With both hands Taking a guard Whereas when you're a kid You used to do one And then I And it's like Oh my god I watched everyone and thought yeah it's actually really cool today and even when you're doing it you're like I'm being a pro here they'll be scared of me because I'm using both hands the interesting thing is that there's always a divot there where the guard is you want so you don't really need to do it because there's always middle a big divot where middle is and everyone wants middle so it's all very performative everyone loves middle we know that's the routine it's a bit obvious isn't it middle the mainstream it's interesting because when when I've battered there's quite often been five marks there oh you've got You need to check.

58:01That's maybe quite a higher level. Leg stump for a right-hander, which is left-hand, left-hand, off-stump. Middle, middle and off, middle and leg, and leg stump. I guess that's at lowest level cricket. Everyone's got to know middle. Yeah, probably middle, I think. Yeah. There or thereabouts. That is the end of today's Tailenders podcast. Thank you for having us on the end of today's podcast. You're welcome for being on the end of Tailenders. Thank you to all of our amazing callers on the phone-in, particularly Katie at the end, who was on Sharky's bad phone and also maybe fell down the stairs.

58:29don't know we'll check that she's okay but a huge go well to her anyway because she was one of our scorers at the Palace show in 2020 which was the the eve of COVID it was pretty much we were all joking about it look at that look at that and we were getting everyone to do handshakes weren't we or like double pack releases okay best not to bring that up in case of legal proceedings we got everyone in the audience to shake each other's hands okay ignore that play the music we haven't got any music we haven't got any music Da-da-da-da-da-da. Bye. Go well. Go well. Cheers. The Women's Football Weekly has found a new home in its very own feed.

59:07We've called it, unsurprisingly, BBC Women's Football Weekly. We'll continue to bring you the latest news, insights and analysis from across the women's game. They're throwing some big money around. I want to see how they line up, how everyone fits in. Episodes will be available every Tuesday as ever, alongside special, unfiltered player interviews from the biggest names in the WSL and beyond. To make sure you never miss an episode, just search for BBC Women's Football Weekly and hit subscribe once you get there. Formula One is all about precision, tiny margins, massive ambition, flat-out performance.

59:44And that's exactly why it's exciting to see Cadillac entering Formula One, bringing an American luxury brand with performance pedigree onto the biggest stage in motorsport. But this isn't just about the grid. That same racing mindset, the obsession with engineering, the pursuit of perfection, lives in the Cadillac V-Series lineup, giving you the chance to experience the precision and performance of the grid on the open road. Cadillac V-Series, distinctive luxury performance, engineered to thrill. Discover the V-Series lineup at Cadillac.com. Hello, Greg Jenner here. I'm the host of You're Dead to Me, the BBC comedy show that takes history seriously.

1:00:23Every episode, I pair up a top historian with a fantastic comedian, and we have a lovely, funny, fascinating chat about a different subject from world history. And in this new series, we're beginning with an epic voyage through the story of Homer, the Iliad, and the Odyssey. And that's with Kyle Smith-Bino joining us. And then we'll be learning about Francis Galton and the racist, discredited pseudoscience of eugenics with Desiree Burch. We'll meet many medieval saints in their bone boxes with Rachel Parris. So if that sounds like your sort of thing, listen to You're Dead to Me wherever you get your podcasts.

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