Things I never want to hear again

21:42Here, it really felt like this was a once-in-a-generation opportunity to win in Australia, and you don't get that very often. and that's almost internalised a little bit in the days as well because it's only been 11 days of cricket. But there were some days where Australia are just very good, there's nothing you can do about it, and it's sort of like fair enough, but we threw away about five, six, seven days of cricket when they weren't even that good and we gave them wickets and that kind of thing. And then later on, as Jimmy says, it's too late, Australia are just beating us at cricket when we're trying to compete and there's nothing you can do about it because it's already happened.

22:17Felix White:So Stark's got 20-odd wickets at 15, 16 average. I'd love to see all his wickets put together and see how many good balls he's actually bowled. Yeah, because he hasn't bowled that many in swinging Yorkers. He's not bowled. He's not swung the ball. I think there was one to Stokes. He bowled a good ball that swung away and he nicked it. That might have been the Brisbane test. Yeah. But I can't remember him bowling that many like Jaffers. Like Joffre getting out caught deep point. The Jacks one was a wide length ball he's tried to drive. And there's so many of those throughout the series where it's just sort of, he's almost going, you know what, I know if I land it on a decent-ish length going across here, they're going to make a mistake.

23:02James Anderson:Hang out, it's like a stump, yeah. He hasn't had to, yeah. I'd love to talk to you about Pat Cummings, actually, because putting our loyalties to, I don't even need to try that hard to put him to one side, I just really love watching him bowl. I know. And it was amazing to watch him bowl, and to that particularly that the setup of Joe Root as a fast bowler yourself. Can you talk about the skill levels and how and how he's a few steps ahead of every batter, it seems at the minute. Is there anyone better than him in the world at the minute?

23:29Felix White:Oh, he's right up there. Yeah, he's right up there. He has been for a number of years. I love watching him bowl as well. You know, he's such an athlete. And, you know, we talked about England's preparation.

23:37James Anderson:He's not played a game for since June, I don't think, or July.

23:41Felix White:Yeah, no. Something like that. and he just looked great from ball one. But yeah, the setup of Root, the first innings one, where he bowled a length ball and Joel got proper good stride in forward defence. Next ball's a bouncer, which I think he got two from. And then because he pushed him back with the bouncer, the next ball, he wasn't as far forward for that length ball and then nicked it. That's a clever bit of bowling.

24:09James Anderson:And can I now publicly say, I'm sorry, that the weight transfer graphic actually was good on that occasion. We've been waiting all series and going, this doesn't matter. It mattered. Because it illustrated. It illustrated that he was really fun. Love that. Then he was, yeah, it was interesting.

24:26Felix White:Yeah. And I mean, he's got Joe out like a lot now. I think it's 13. 13 times. And I've not seen anyone really have as much success against Joe as one person like that. Perhaps he's Krishna. I think he's literally his kryptonite. The angle that he bowls at, he's just relentless, doesn't miss length. He's got a good bouncer, moves the ball off the seam. Just something there where he makes people want to play outside off stump.

24:55James Anderson:I actually just want to go back a bit to the leaders thing in the team. Can we try and identify the next era of leaders in the team? Who could and should step up? Because we're looking at... Are you talking about our next captain? Well, not necessarily captain, but those, the Bairstow characters, the Broad characters, the Jimmy characters, the Jack Leach characters, those characters that just burst through the screen a little bit. And you're like, yeah, let's do it. And therefore, if they're bursting through the screen, they're probably, they're making some effect on the rest of the, they're having some effect on the rest of the team.

25:29James Anderson:whether it's Matt Pryor behind the stumps we saw all those flashbacks of 2010-11 during the coverage Matt Pryor rallying the troops those sorts of players that seem to galvanise everyone are the people that we're watching in the England team now do they have the potential to become those types of players or do we have to start again to a certain extent I think

25:51Felix White:that everyone's got the potential to be that type of player like I hear about Jamie Smith for example he's a quiet guy you can't just say he's not that type of character to get to be noisy on the field i'm sorry but you've got to be as a keeper you're the leader of of the energy in the field you have to be you've got to offer a bit more and be that kind of character you know to get the energy going to create something some atmosphere in the field but so let's let's dig into what you were like

26:23James Anderson:when you started to how you were when you ended because you those who don't know you in real life you are not the big outgoing you're not the leader of a big you know you don't in a pub you're not sort of holding court necessarily you are quite shy did you make yourself into the sort of animal on the field did you feel like you had to do that then

26:43Felix White:no I always had that that was just the competitiveness that I had that I would just once I got on the field I want to win so I just become like yeah competitive and you know that I'd get into battles with the batter and so maybe I got better at it as I got more experience

27:05James Anderson:but it came naturally to you that you would I feel like it did yeah you would be in the batter's face you'd be shouting at people if they dropped a cat you're not shouting but you're not you'd be you'd be animated yeah but I think one thing

27:18Felix White:that I got better at was actually coming back to that getting to know the bowlers so that you can go the wickets doing this I feel like we should be a bit fuller than we normally are or you've got to be a bit shorter you know just giving them ideas and so yeah that's where me and Brodie worked really well together because we knew each other's game so you know we'd give each other advice all the time and Brodie was fantastic at that he knew exactly like he's like your skill here I'd just bowl your in-swinging for an hour or whatever it was and that's not happening I don't just it might be but I'm not seeing it from I know I'm the other side of the world watching on TV but not seeing it so interesting that it's the same as batting but for batters so I think what England have done well certainly when I was still playing was if Rooty and Brookie for example are batting together Rooty would go mate just use your feet to this guy and try and hit him over extra because the pitch isn't doing anything or that's your strength go to your strength so if you know everyone's game well enough you can go you're sort of thinking for them as well yeah you're thinking for them you're giving them confidence you're going to back yourself and again I just don't really know if that's happening yeah again

28:34James Anderson:he's not the only person I read but Vish who I appear to be completely obsessed with but on this he wrote a really really great piece on ESPN quick info which you should all read about Joe Root being our best player by a million miles Joe Root is not a natural extroverted entertainer. He's not going to want to grab the front page of the newspapers. That's not how he plays. And we love him for that. But if your only star player is actually quite a calm, quiet-ish personality, Vish was arguing that actually Joe Root should have made this series about himself. Because over the years, the great series have pretty much had one or two great players who have gone, I'm Freddie Flintoff, I'm going to win you the Ashes.

29:23James Anderson:I'm KP, I'm going to win the Oval. I'm going to win this test match on my own. I'm Shane Warne. I'm Glenn McGrath. I'm whoever, you know, Stokes at Headingley. And actually we don't have, we didn't have that player really to go, all right, let's do it. And it's asking a lot of him. It's asking a lot of Joe Rue because that's not who he is. But I think that's a really, it's sort of what we're talking about, which is have we got enough players that can just grab it and not be worried or I don't know what it is I don't think we have those players at the minute well with Joe I think you need people that are going to bat around him don't you broadly sorry another example yeah so it's so I mean what's Joe gonna do you get a good ball people you know yeah I don't know they can't all be on Joe no that's that is an interesting point though that is you need those that we always talk about the ashes being like who's the person who's the character Travis Head has done it yeah Mitchell Stark's done it this series for Australia but I don't know where it was going to come from with England do you think there's going to be a point where there's infusion going to be sucked out of generally out of Australian ashes if we don't win for what like we haven't something like 18 tests we in a row we've lost or something like that we haven't won 18 in a row we haven't run it we've drawn one or something when is the point when us going to Australia is this false sort of economy of excitement do you know what I mean like are we How are we all going to feel in four years?

30:46Are we going to get buzzed again? We probably will because you sort of forget and time does its thing. But we are going to need a competitive series in Australia in some point in our lifetime in order to keep giving, do you know what I mean, as a watchable thing. I know that sounds... No, it's true. Because it happened four years ago, obviously, in the COVID tour. It's only reasons. I was out there four years before, got beat 4-1. 4-0. I'm just 4-0, sorry. Thank you, Jimmy. Sticking it in. I'm struggling to, I think in my lifetime in Australia, there's been about three or four competitive test matches that are in the balance.

31:27Well, Joe Root and Ben Stokes have never won a test match in Australia. They've never won a test match in Australia. And will they be in the side? They never will. So they might have two tests to do that. Well, they could win one of the next two. And I bet they're so f***ing annoying, but I bet they will.

31:49And then we'll have to think about that for four years and how we might come back.

31:53James Anderson:Jared Kimber on Stick to Cricket said that England-Australia is the fourth most important cricket thing for Australia. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. You were telling me about that. He said that number one was... Do you think he's saying that to be provocative? Yeah, it's very funny because he was saying it's Michael Vaughan who was going... It was Australia-India. Yeah. Australia in World Cup cricket, which is more interesting because you don't know what's going to happen. And, you know, could be amazing, could be terrible. South Africa best team. And then South Africa-Australia being the third best series for them.

32:24James Anderson:And then England is the fourth. I mean, on this, away, certainly. Anyway. What happens in the next two tests? Do they do the... I bet England. I'd have win one. Maybe bring Bethlehem at three. what does happen though Jimmy's been saying for ages before the series that Jax might bat a three and I think that's what's going to happen but he should do I feel like Jax will bat a three next test yeah

32:49Felix White:I mean it's going to be so fascinating because I think they might play Bashir really if they win one with him in the team oh and I hate that I'm going to watch all of that I will be there on Christmas night but I don't know what do you do because I've like Jax Jax batted really well he has batted really well throughout the series but didn't bowl great in Adelaide. But we've said he's not a bowler. No, no. So that's what I mean. Yeah. No, no. That's why I'm saying Bashir could potentially play at Melbourne. Okay, so who's missing out? At Melbourne. Are you dropping Pope? I think Pope might, I think Jax might bat three and then bring Spinner in.

33:27Bring Bash in.

33:28James Anderson:You could drop Pope down the order and get him to keep but you don't want to drop Smith because he's had a really great innings just now. No, I think Jax will bat three. I would love that. and Bash could come in and bat 11 or whatever. Yeah, you've not enough seamers. If Stokes is fit, then you've got Archer, Cass, Atkinson, or whoever they pick, Stokes and the Spinner. I think Tongue's got to play.

33:50Felix White:Tongue play. Oh, Tongue, yeah, sorry, Tongue. Tongue instead of Gus. No, I potentially, maybe they bring Gus in for Cass.

33:56James Anderson:Okay. Joe, it's going to be so annoying. I can see it happening. They'll pick the team they should have, we thought they were going to pick and they'll win one of those tests and it'll be the most annoying thing. I've ever seen on my television screen.

34:14And they'll leave with positivity. Okay. And I'll be like, oh, great. So now I'm going to be 45 thinking about that next time it comes around. Yeah. When you f*** it up again.

34:25James Anderson:There you go. No further questions. Was that a two down beat? Were we two down beat? No, it's this. We were trying to be positive. I think we were fine. Okay. It's how we were feeling. Yeah. I feel like we were being honest. Right. Feel like you're being honest, Jim. Yeah, yeah.

34:37Felix White:Yeah, I'm now looking after what we've just talked about. I'm looking forward to getting up at the stupid o 'clock on Boxing Day to watch the next one. Yeah, because they'll win.

34:46James Anderson:Well, this is also, this is the worst relationship we've ever had in our lives. Yeah. The relationship with Test Cricket.

34:52Felix White:Yeah.

34:53James Anderson:It is really volatile, manipulative. It's like going out with a narcissist. They're going to turn up like Tony McCarroll and Definitely Mabee and like, oh, like this, you mean? Just play it perfectly. What we're worried about. Yeah. It's 3-1. If the series ends 3-2, that's worse. If the series ends 3-2, I'm never watching cricket again.

35:13Felix White:That's a massive shout. Yeah. Because I'll just be emotionally gaslit forever.

35:21James Anderson:They have done the thing that I said we would never forgive them for, which is they have ruined Christmas. They have done that. I don't know if we'll ever forgive this team.

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36:07James Anderson:Up to$10 each month when you pay with the Amex Gold card. Learn more at americanexpress.com slash explore-gold. Enrollment required. Terms apply. All right. Welcome to The Real Tailenders. Thank you for having us on The Real Tailenders. So the YouTube and iPlayer viewers have gone now. And we're just with our people on Five Live and on the podcast on Tailenders, is our Lucy Cricket-based podcast from the BBC. And we welcome Matching Tendulkar. Thanks for your audio. Oh, well, this is a heated debate that we need to have. For the powers that be, the regime don't like it. Yeah, man. They didn't want Matching in vision, which is appalling.

36:49James Anderson:They thought they wanted it really crickety. And then what was the biggest, what was the best thing we've maybe ever done? It was Am I Lion or Am I Nathan Lion. And all the YouTube comments were like, where's the Matching game? you've got to give BBC you've got to give the people what they want hi guys well look we can have a nice time now but you know do you know what and your energy it reminds me of the early years of tail enders where you're like Oli Gunnar Solskjaer in the last 20 minutes it's like we've been in a we've been in a game of football for a while and we need a super sub to bring energy and win the game in the last 20 minutes and Matt needs to come on and just bring Christmas cheer exactly score twice in the Champions League final or whatever he did In fact, if you are passionate about Oli Gunnar Solskjaer slash Match in Tendulkar, you should write to the BBC and tell them that he should be, if we get to do visualised podcasts again, he should be in vision.

37:41Yeah, yeah.

37:42James Anderson:That's right. Exactly. Just genuinely write to the BBC. Do the feedback bit of the website and just say, really enjoy lots of BBC content, but I do think there should be more Match in Tendulkar on the visualised podcast. More knows. The face of cricket. because we've asked and it's falling on deaf ears. Yeah. Anyway, happy Christmas guys. Happy Christmas. Thank you so much for having us. What a weekend. What a weekend. What a weekend. We had to tell him this Christmas party. Jimmy cooked one of the best meals of probably the best meal I've had this of 2025. Wow. There I said it. It was great. He said it.

38:17It was phenomenal. Is the Dean going to be all right with you saying that? Yeah, she'll be fine. She's going to put as much effort in as that. I think Jimmy should talk us through that meal quickly because I like Jimmy's. I thought we were going to get a takeaway. I just wasn't expecting that level of hospitality.

38:32James Anderson:Pulled pork? What do you want me to? Well, set the scene. We were at the house that Wicket's hand-modelling built. And we were welcomed in with Jimmy looking like, I don't know, Marco Pierre White in the kitchen. Just in control. In control of the situation. Bottle of wine in one hand. Tea towel over the shoulder. Cigarette hanging out his mouth. Come on in, guys. I've cooked up it he wasn't smoking to be clear but Jimmy talk us through your process when did you start pulling the pork

39:02Felix White:when did I pull the pork I don't know what time did you get there you got there about half six in you so about probably one o 'clock put it in the slow cooker you pulled the pork at one o 'clock yeah okay pulled apart by pork I mean it's honestly not that it was no hassle there was a mac and cheese that was to die for and can I tell you my favourite bit of the meal was the little bits of crackling. It was like a separate little bowl of kind of...

39:31James Anderson:And the house is beautiful. Of course it is. There's lights everywhere. It's really, it's really nice. Because we had this idea and I think Jimmy suggested we're going to go around and watch the cricket a long time before. And I feel like the cricket was very much not the centrepiece of that night. Thank God. Yeah. Especially when I think it was Greg found, I don't know what it is. It's like a little laser show in a little machine and a smoke machine. And so when the test started, we were quite drunk already, but I didn't anticipate. In my head, I was like, we're watching the cricket or analyzing the bowling with Jimmy Anderson and areas.

40:05I didn't realize it was going to be inside a sort of mini laser show with you filling the room with smoke.

40:11James Anderson:Yeah. It's like if you've seen Coldplay live, it's when they play clocks and they have green lasers. It was that sort of vibe. Yeah. But add baby Guinness into that and watching the ashes. But it was great. Great weekend. Great night. great night great times and a big shout out to james taylor not that one who we we did an instagram live which we should do more of should we i don't know i don't know no i don't keep it special but we we went live and we were sort of commentating on the cricket yeah and then somebody popped up and said can we sort of add ourselves to the to the live we clicked on that name and we were beamed immediately into the adelaide oval so good he was watching it it was suddenly and then And suddenly Jimmy's face was on the screen for him.

40:56James Anderson:He was like, oh my God, it's Jimmy Anderson. And then James was taking Jimmy on vision to the Barmy Army in real time. It's a great modern... Some glum faces in the Barmy Army, weren't they? Yeah. Well, the interesting thing was that they were saying, oh, we're quite positive. And a lot of the chat has been this test, like, oh, we're sort of quite positive. But it's because they're all in Australia, isn't it? Having a good time. They're on holiday. Yeah, they're all on holiday. Because it's 30 degrees. I saw there was that video of Norcross and Tufnel. Go, well, cheers. legends of the game both lovely men but being like oh it's alright isn't it there's been some good bits yeah we've had a laugh over the years Asbel's given us some good it's like no it's not it's f***ing freezing and you've been f***ing not done all across hey let's not throw the baby out with the bathwater yeah I don't want to throw the baby out come on John let's not throw the baby out with the bathwater anyway great times great Has anyone ever thrown a baby out with the bathwater?

41:54James Anderson:Somebody must have done that at some point. Someone must have done that. So when did that come from? Do you know what Sharky did? Can we fade Sharky up so he can tell us the bubble hat story? Sharky, can you? Come on, Sharky. There was a moment today where we thought we were actually going to, we were all going to step aside. And much like the England team, we were going to put Sharky up for interview as our Jeet and Patel. Your Treskothic Jeet and Patel. But wait until we do a really bad episode. And there's lots of negative criticism. And then we send Sharky out to explain it. I think the five love listeners would love to hear from producer Sharky, Sharknado, Sharman.

42:31James Anderson:Always do. Sorry, if we're not doing a bobble hat analogy, that's just a bit left. Sharky's got a fact about bobble hats, which... Come in, come on in. Come on. Tell everyone the story he tells us last night.

42:41Felix White:I'll set the scene while he gets faded up. Yeah. So we're at the Everton Arsenal game last night and Sharky had a woolly hat without a bobble. I had a woolly hat with a bobble. It was interesting because I'd normally put me everywhere around. And he then went on to tell us the origins of the bubble hat. Said the bubble, please, Sharky K. This is what you could get every night out of Sharky.

43:02James Anderson:Am I faded up? Yes, you're faded up. This is why I was told it might not be true. Oh, you didn't say that last time. But sailors used to wear hats, just plain old hats, yeah? Born on the mill, born on the mill, born on the mill, born on the mill. Boring, Nick. And then submarines came along. Oh. and they were wearing their hats because, you know, it still gets cold in a submarine, again, in the Arctic, and they kept on banging their heads on, like, pipes and roofs of the submarine. Roof. So they put the bobbles on to protect their heads. Yeah. I've just made the same thing. Do you think batters should have little bobbles on top of their helmets?

43:37Why? Why? Just in case you get a bouncer or something. What, are they going to butt it away? Yeah, maybe it will be... A shock absorber. I don't know. Might be true, might not be. Thanks.

43:47James Anderson:Might be true, might not. Welcome to Might Be True, Might Not Be. Thank you for having us on Might Be True, Might Not Be. Can you, do you want to come and match in as well? Can you share the mic? Do you want to share one of mine? I feel like I want to, I want to, I really want to talk to you about Epperton because we had our Taylor's Christmas party, as we said, and then a sleepover at Jimmy's, which is, which is really nice. It was like a teenage boy situation, wasn't it? It was. Sleeping over, watching the cricket. It was great fun. It was actually a dream, but where's, is matching, where are you getting your chair next to Sharky here?

44:16Yeah, come on, you two, yeah.

44:18James Anderson:And then the next day... You two party yourself here like backing singers for Otis Reading. The next day, Jimmy got us some tickets to go and see Everton Arsenal at Hill Dickinson. Sharky is a lifelong Evertonian. We know that from his essence. I am a quiet Arsenal fan and have been forever, but not nowhere near the same amount of passion as any of you have for football, but particularly Sharky. Talk us through showing people around your domain. What did it feel like to welcome us in? It was a pleasure, especially taking a new stadium. I went to Goodison with Fee for his book. And as Fee will know, it's a very, very different experience between the two grounds.

44:55James Anderson:But I loved showing you around. I loved taking you into my depressing world.

45:00Felix White:Do you know what? Fee's used a lot of football analogies today on our podcast. A cricket show. And I would probably say that my experience at the football last night was similar to what England fans are getting in Australia. so the 15 minutes before the game the songs the everton song like everyone's singing them so passionately yeah great atmosphere in the stadium amazing similar to the barmy army singing jerusalem at the start of day to play then the game kicked off then nothing that's true that is true silence yeah actual silence and it was incredible before kickoff and it was like, oh yeah, we're Everton.

45:44James Anderson:Well, we were missing a lot of key players. We were missing a lot of key players and Arsenal... We have pretty much for interview now. Yeah, here we go. We didn't execute our skills. We didn't win the key moments. We did not win the key moments. We had a lot of players missing and Arsenal are a very good team. Although, I don't think they'll win the league. My wife won't really like me saying that because she's an Arsenal fan. I think Man City will win the league. Anyway. No, it was a weird, it was a weird one last night. I don't know. It was, you're right. It was, it was real pumped up and it was, it was a great atmosphere Saturday before Christmas.

46:18James Anderson:And then, yeah, the wind just came out of our sails very quickly. And, you know, I don't think we had a shot on target and the whole game. It made, I found it amazing. So fascinating because I've known you for a very, very long time and it made you make so, it just made you make sense on a whole new level. I just got it completely. And I looked around and everyone wears their sadness. so visibly. We're not on anything since 95. It's extraordinary.

46:48Felix White:They wear it around their neck in the form of an Everton scarf. Yeah, but it was like 50 ,000 Sharkies. Exactly. I said that actually in a book. You always know where Sharky is because when you go meet him at train station, he's just this little character with a little blue Everton scarf popping up with a little Charlie Brown cloud over his head. So you can almost see the cartoon cloud raining him from a distance. oh yeah the sharky but when you go to everton there's 50 000 sharkies it's amazing it's the

47:14James Anderson:sharky factory but but i i also couldn't believe how many people let kept leaving their seats like there's something it's like a weird ritual where everyone's sort of is it not hospitality there is that why yeah i think we were yeah i think there's a degree of that oh and also you know i think there's a still a bit of the wonder of the new because the goodison you know the facilities, loved Goodison, facilities were not great. Interesting, yeah. And now you can go and get a beer, you can go and get to a food. It's not a military operation. And also we weren't playing great. And also I don't know if the 8 o 'clock kick-off made a difference as well, just because I think I think a few people had a few bevvies.

47:54James Anderson:Over cricket by way too late. Yeah, I think. But yeah, I mean look, it's still optimism. It's better than what it used to be. Great stadium. Great stadium. Lovely people. Funny. Scousers so funny. and also you know when we have our best 11 out we're alright okay we didn't have our best 11 you're sounding like Jesus himself again so when we start initiating successfully the key moments and exercising our skills we might make the Europa Conference League yeah but also what you could be saying is actually the Premier League is not that's not the narrative we're going we're not listening you guys said Arsenal's a big game we didn't say that so I think you're fine it's the FA Cup I felt like there was a lack of leadership on the Premier League yeah senior players and glad you had a good time great time yeah it's hard to stifle celebration isn't it when you're in the Everton fans yeah sitting on your hands yeah I did that last season I was in the Palace End when we won me and Will and we just had to stand there going what a rubbish goal that one you didn't the full amount of me didn't you would beat us 3-1 this is the experience watching Everton with Sharky is that he'll just be whispered whenever Everton have an attack he'll just be whispering in your ear like Scrooge we won't score from this nothing will happen here I was right yesterday you were getting excited because we had a corner it's like a gloomy the right I don't want nothing ever happened here yeah this is a story in my life he'll just be saying things like that again whenever M7 the ball but when we do play well and it's it's coming back it's really exciting yeah yeah you know some might say it's the hope that kills you it is the hope that kills you

49:30Felix White:no I got that as well because you sat next to him don't know why they're all cheering a corner we're not going to score from it yeah this is not I was right though wasn't I this is a waste of time I was right there was one season

49:42James Anderson:I remember we had a hundred corners we had a hundred corners one season I think we scored from one right so when everyone gets it's a weird thing we get a corner it's like oh great got a corner nothing had come of this nothing had come of this yeah this is the saddest day of my life I remember when we first started recording tail enders and we were talking about what's going to happen next and Sharky was like don't worry we'll only probably record another five episodes yeah it's so Emerson it's so Everton that's what Sean can do to me yeah but 10 ends will never be a thing so don't ever it might go on another six months that's so interesting though yeah everything is Everton to you yeah

50:15Felix White:it does wear you down

50:16James Anderson:everything this is turning into therapy this is really weird but it does wear you down we know we can see it it does I was with I was in amongst it yesterday I felt I felt worn down by it I try to be positive I do try I know but it's built in but there's something nice about we've you know we've just done an episode of collective moaning about there is strength in moaning together sometimes. Yeah, exactly. You're all with each other and you're all sort of eye rolling together. I do understand that. Well, loss is more bonding than winning, definitely. Being a cricket fan. Like, I don't want to be too pessimistic, but I am.

50:48James Anderson:But if we lose to Sunderland the FA Cup on January the weather, that's it. That's our season gone. Yeah. There's nothing. Oh, great. You're listening to Five Live. It's certainly like the home. That's like Ian Beal. I've got nothing left I've got nothing left I know look I think I'll retract that you know because we might go on a run we might make the Europa Conference League we you know hopefully beat Liverpool in the derby but you know what I mean

51:14Felix White:you get the idea welcome to Sander's the loosely Everton base podcast

51:17James Anderson:should we have a Christmas quiz

51:19Felix White:I love that let's get matching in let's raise the energy

51:22James Anderson:let's put the mic to the voice of the UK matching Tendulkar face of cricket hello hello Merry Christmas what did we settle on then because matching was asking for titles for the quiz before we record it today. What have we gone for? Rocking. No. Matching. Matching around the Quizmas tree. Matching around the Quizmas tree. Matching around the Quizmas tree.

51:47I bought some Christmas crackers, guys. Oh, thank you so much for having us. And what I've done is I've interviewed some people within the cricket world. Mystery cricket people. Is this why I saw you? What? Turn up. I saw you texting Ellie Oldroyd at three in the morning over shoulders saying, I need something as emergency. Is that what that is? Was this on the drive back from Liverpool yesterday? No, it was in Jimmy's bar. Oh, right. I just looked over and Matching was like manically texting Ellie Oldroyd every morning. Maybe that has something to do with it. Maybe not. I've interviewed some famous people from the world of cricket.

52:22I've put them in a Christmas cracker. I've also put a cracker joke that's been submitted by our Telenders listeners. Oh, amazing. Nice. thank you so you can open the Christmas cracker and you have to guess who the person was

52:34James Anderson:that was being interviewed great okay side note you brought up Jimmy's pub are you okay with us talking about your pub yeah great pub in his house it's not a pub is it the pub that we it's a modelling belt right it's an amazing well stocked bar there is a problem with it though it doesn't have a name does now well it does now because none of the names none of the names we suggested to Daniel or Jimmy they were laughed out of the room in fact they weren't even laughed they were just like straight no okay The Tailenders listeners, however, the Hive Mind, a very clever funny people, might find something for us, will come up with a better name.

53:07James Anderson:If they can submit a good name, will you use all their names, please? Yeah, consider it. Yeah? Yeah, consider it. Because the best we came up with was Matching's Arse. Because I've got a great one. We moved in Matching's Arms and Felix Lawrence's Arse. Here's a Christmas cracker, guys. Yeah, thank you so much. Go well. Tailenders at BBC.co.uk if you want to suggest a name. That's the sound of a cracker for listeners there, is it? That's the sound of matching Christmas crackers. Okay, we're going to do it like that, all together. Wait, where's your one? There you go, there you go. We're going to do it like, cross arms, yeah?

53:37Do you want to come in? Not for the Everton fan queue. He does not celebrate. Great. Okay, I haven't got anything. Who's going first, Fee? Okay, so what, I'm looking here, am I? Who wants to go first? I'll go first. Okay, do you want to read the joke first? I've all got some nail scissors. Should I read the joke? Yep. um guys yes why was ben duckett's amazon delivery left with his neighbor what um sorry about his height parents went in it's close but it's not right his amazon delivery was left with his neighbor because he's always out in australia which is a harsh joke and not my words the words of tail enders listeners or yourself matching that was telling us listening that's the words on the joke oh i don't believe it is that is anon tail ender listener thank you for your joke.

54:27Right, my cricketing celebrity that you guys have to work out is favourite music of 2025 was Oasis. And being, biggest achievement of 2025 was getting to their 60th year. Their favourite Christmas movie is The Holiday. And the thing they're most excited for in 2026 is England getting to the World Cup final. I take it, they mean football. Oh, who could that be? Is that likely? Who have I interviewed? Yeah, I think it's pretty, yeah. Do you think England men could win the World Cup final? Sharky, don't be saying no in your essence of Everton. Don't ask the Evertonian. I think it's as like, I think there's a strong chance in the Cavalier world.

55:07Yeah. I think it'll be. Wow. Yeah, definitely. Relatively one of four, six teams. Who do you think that is then? We're looking at it. It's going to be an optimist. They like rock and roll music. They're 60. And they like the holiday, the Christmas film. Any guesses, please. Not me. I interviewed them. Who's 60? Who could be 60? So let's say it's a cricketing, a cricketer. That means they would have been involved in cricket teams in the 90s. And because Matching's got in touch with them, I imagine they are involved in punditry of some level. My celebrity circle spans wide and far. It's not North Cross, is it?

55:45He's not old. Nope. I can imagine Simon Mann-like in the holiday. Oasis though. Yeah, not the Oasis. Shall we go Simon Mann? Let's sit Simon Mann. That's incorrect. it was Phil tough as Tufnel oh Tufnel

55:59James Anderson:it's a good quiz don't change it we don't need to put the fairy out of the bath Jimmy

56:04Felix White:crack a joke for us I'll crack you a joke do you know why they can't play cricket at the North Pole why can't they play cricket at the North Pole because of the rain dear

56:13James Anderson:oh nice rain comma dear yeah lovely like that is that another listener's joke where's that from Ben oh thank you Ben Ben who good child good child

56:23Felix White:go well cheers alright My favourite music of 2025, Marla's Ninth Symphony in Brisbane. Joe Marla's. Lesson of 2025, learning to say no to things. Oh, that could be... Favourite Christmas movie, Love Actually. Thing I'm most looking forward to in 2026, having both my daughters live with me.

56:45James Anderson:Oh, this is a cricket pundit. No, it's a cricket... That might be Ellie, mightn't it? That could be Ellie. Oh, that is Ellie's got daughters. That will be Ellie. That's Ellie Oldroy. Is that why she's saying no to being on tail enders recently. Saying no to things. A huge go-whats. I hear that. Oh, Ellie. Merry Christmas to... Go, Ellie. Merry Christmas to the Queen. Love you. Queen's speech. Next one. Joke. Why is Santa not very good at cricket? Because he bowls pies, mince pies. Yeah, nice. That's from Jack Rubio. Thanks, Jack. Thanks, Jack. It can be effective. It's always wicked dismissal pies, but anyway.

57:24James Anderson:Who is this? Personal achievement in 2025 outside of cricket. Becoming a green belt in Shirinu Kempo. Wow. Jonathan Agnew. Favourite Christmas movie is Elf. Jonathan Agnew. Great shout. Something you're excited for in 2026. Bristol City getting to the playoffs. That's Matt Chin. Matt Chin, you're not in Shirinu Kempo. I thought you're Bristol City fan. Sharky's mouth in it very loudly. That might well be Simon Mann. Really? That is Simon Mann. He's a green belt in... What? I don't know what that is. I feel like I should know. Does everyone know what that is? Should we know? I guess it's a martial art.

58:02Sharingi Kempo. Against karate.

58:04James Anderson:Oh, it's a J. I couldn't read you. Sharingi Kempo. Sorry. Sharingi Kempo. Wow. That was Simon. And the final one. Yeah, here we go. You got Simon's number? I did get some help from Ali Oldroyd. She went around the booth asking different people his question. Because Matching insisted she did. she used to learn to say no to more stuff actually she doesn't say no to matching this is yeah the wife said she was going to leave me in the new year if I kept talking about cricket that really hit me for six

58:35Felix White:look how he is with that who sent that in that was Ethan Dalton that's good that's good okay music I enjoyed most in 2025 was Sandy Denny okay personal achievement in 2025 was being a question on Only Connect

58:51James Anderson:what's Only Connect it's the thing that Victoria Corrin does quiz show smart quiz show what am I looking forward to most in 26 playing fantasy baseball with my son playing fantasy baseball who could that be I do know that Jonathan Trott loves baseball but I think that is Andy Zaltzman correct yeah lovely I've got to find out about what fantasy baseball is that's cool great work great work and that is my Christmas quiz with you what's your favourite Christmas songs guys thank you for It is Pokes for me. Yeah. Annoyingly, I would say the same. I mean... I just think it's an amazing song. It is an amazing song.

59:30James Anderson:Even if it's not a Christmas song, you just think that's an amazing... It's a fantastic song. I just think it's got everything. It's funny. It's tragic. It's just all of it. It's all happy, sad.

59:41Felix White:I like a few. If I had to pick one, probably Mistletoe and Wine by Cliff Richard.

59:47James Anderson:Not The Millennium Prayer? No. Oh. The Millennium Prayer, which was the Lord's Prayer set... to Old Lang Syne. Hmm, that's a good idea. Let's see if that gets to number one. Oh, it did. Are you making Christmas lunch this year, Jim? Oh, this is going to go out on Christmas Day. Any tips for Christmas dinner, Jimmy?

1:00:05Felix White:Put in pork? I cheat. Not cheat, but I'll be doing most of it on Christmas Eve. Lovely. Get ahead of the game. Well, that's just prep, isn't it? Prep. Do you think you're over-prepared? Because that can backfire. Just that up, just let you know. Yeah, thanks, man. Maybe I'll leave it

1:00:21James Anderson:till the morning. Yeah, yeah. If you leave it too late, then you'll have to send out Triscothic to tell your family that you f***ed it. Yeah, exactly. I like to not think about or acclimatise to any of the conditions and just try and do it on the spot. Any tips for Christmas Day? What happens if you don't get on with your family? What should you do then, Jimmy? Any tips?

1:00:40Felix White:People might be listening to this on Christmas Day. Yeah. Do you know what's a really lovely thing to do is spend a bit of time in the kitchen getting your food ready then bang the turkey in the oven and go to the pub. Yeah, what, a couple hours? Two hours in the pub. Yeah, yeah. Come back. On your own? Yeah. Oh. Oh, no, you can, if you like, you can take someone you like or you can go on your own. Yeah, yeah. I'd happily sit in the corner and have a Guinness on my own.

1:01:03James Anderson:Oh, a little solo pint's lovely. Oh, lovely, yeah. There'll be people listening to Tailenders with a solo pint. Yeah. That's really nice. Yeah. That's what I'm going to do more of in the new year. Listen to - Drink by yourself. Yeah. But no, not, don't frame it like that. Sitting in the pub, a little pint, listen to yourself totally I'm going to be in tooting having a curry if anyone's around if you're listening Christmas day curry yeah Christmas curry I am yeah that's what my dad does smart move yeah it's nice that yeah it's what we used to do when we were young so if you are in a tooting area at a loose end Christmas Eve curry yeah Christmas day oh Christmas Eve yeah our powers combined yeah should do some go-wells and then get out of here I'd love to do that not get out of here but just do the go-wells well we are going to get out of here yeah new tail enders baby Human being babies, human being ones.

1:01:49James Anderson:Sorry, I haven't got the guitar. Cleo, Freddie, whose dad Tom was wearing a tail enders t-shirt at the hospital at the point of birth. That's the first thing the baby saw. Freya, Arshan, Henry, Morgan and Olivia. Go well. Cheers. Big go well to David, who's doing his ECB foundation course. For a laugh. Go well. Cheers. For vibes only. Go well, cheers. Birthdays. Human being birthdays, human being ones. Louis, Rich, Charlie, Don, Tom and Aidan. Go on. Cheers.

1:02:21Felix White:Alistair Cook who's born on Christmas Day, which will be today. Yeah. And Marcus Shiscothic and Simon Jones, I do believe.

1:02:27James Anderson:That's funny, isn't it?

1:02:28Felix White:Sorry. Oh, on Christmas Day. Yeah. Hmm. You could probably make a good composite 11 of cricket as born on Christmas Day. We can do three. But all around the world. Good spine. Who else? Anyway, just for another time. Do it next Christmas. I've been prepared. Cricket clubs.

1:02:44James Anderson:Human Being Cricket Clubs, Human Being Ones. Newcombe and District Cricket Club. Four Oaks Saints Cricket Club. A massive go-well to the legend that is Neil Hume. And also Three Bridges Cricket Club, who I follow. They always pump out good social videos, Three Bridges. They've always got... Did they? Yeah, there's always great, normally lofted drives over the sight screen and the trees. Okay. They've got some good gun players, I think. Nice. Go-well. Cheers. Three Bridges. Simona would like us to shout out her boyfriend, Sam, just because he's a massive fan of Tell him because I think it would make his day.

1:03:15James Anderson:Go on, Sam. Cheers. We've got Aaron and Ellie who are getting married. Go on. Cheers. Travel well to Amelia and her parents who are off to the MCG. Ooh. Jane's first ever international. I've got some bad news to you. 3-0. Yeah. Jane's first ever international Red Bull match was the first test in Perth. Joe and Lauren are traveling to the test matches in a van. Swafters is off to the Sydney test. Ellen's off to the MCG after a cheeky Big Bash game en route. And Rich and Alex are going to the fourth and fifth tests. Nice. Go on. Cheers. Matthew listened to 21 ,847 minutes of tailenders this year.

1:03:49James Anderson:Go on. Cheers. Zan and Ludo went to Kumar Sangakara's restaurant. Oh, well. Ministry of Crab. Cheers. Darren's writing a book about Linton Cricket Club in Cambridgeshire. Nice. All the money raised will go to charity. He would like a quote from tailenders for the cover. Have you ever been to Linton? Should we just make something up? Well, the Linton Travel Tavern is the famous travel tavern from the Alan Partridge. Okay. I'm Alan Partridge. Is that Linton Travel Tavern? because it's equidistant between London and Norwich yeah see that's why so you can say you can say something like this is up there the Linton travel tavern for yeah this this cricket book is equidistant between finding the edge and it's always summer somewhere feel free to use that if you want this is my favourite book about Linton Cricket Club by me Matching Dundall yeah yeah yeah yeah I think we've got some good stuff there yeah go well cheers Move well to Jack and Bex, who have a new house.

1:04:44James Anderson:Move well. Cheers. Snip well, Google News, vasectomy shout outs to Toby. Vasectomy. Snip well. Cheers. A little festive snip. And divorce well. This is our inaugural divorce well, actually. A couple of years ago, we wished Sam a wed well. It didn't go well. Cheers. He'd now like a divorce well. Probably be a few more in the new year. Apparently, January is the highest rate for divorces. Okay. to bring it. We're supposed to be bringing it up. Sorry, but it could be a new start. Even Sharky turned his nose up at that. He's an Everton fan. Yeah, I brought Sharky down. This is what happens when you spend an afternoon at the Hill Dickinson.

1:05:21James Anderson:Yeah. Divorce well. Cheers. Also Rhea, or Rhea, joined us for our Instagram live from Jimmy's house while she was revising her exams. Rhea, I hope they go well in the new year. Cheers to you. Go well. Cheers. Can I quickly chuck in? I've only found out the other day, but a friend of mine, Sienna, her great grandfather was Billy Murdoch the Australian captain who beat England which started the ashes oh wow or like great great grandfather okay was the guy that won that test series went over and about apparently actually loved England so go well Sienna and go well Billy Murdoch and wish you hadn't started this thing we have to go through every four years yeah why are we saying thanks yeah we'll have a visualized podcast at the end of the fourth test.

1:06:08James Anderson:And of course, you can follow all the action on Test Match Special on BBC Sounds. Email us at tellends at bbc.co.uk. Or of course, use the hashtag tellendsworld. You're not going to take over. Have a very Merry Christmas, whatever you're doing. Whether you're getting divorced or not. Go well. Cheers! From a small village on the banks of the River Nile.

1:06:30Felix White:Everybody call me Mohammed, but in our short name or nickname, they call me Mo.

1:06:34James Anderson:To the biggest stages of world football. Salah is more than just a player. He's an icon, a symbol, a king.

1:06:49James Anderson:Mohamed Salah represents a dream for Egyptians, for Muslims, for Africans. More than just a football player, he gave us hope. I'm Kelly Cates. This is Sporting Giant's Mo Salah. Listen on BBC Sounds. How did a boycott Jimmy become a billionaire from posting videos? On Good Bad Billionaire, we're going to find out how the world's most popular YouTuber, Mr Beast, made his fortune. He's buried himself in a coffin for days. Counted to 100 ,000 on camera. And even recreated squid games, all in an attempt to go viral on the internet. But it all started when he gave a homeless man$10 ,000. So is he a philanthropist reshaping capitalism?

1:07:30James Anderson:Or is he just the king of the attention economy? Find out on Good Bad Billionaire. Listen on BBC.com or wherever you get your podcasts.