In short
Tailenders episode mixing cricket talk with banter, listener confessions, and “dreams”; main cricket focus is England’s Test captaincy and coach appointment, plus a debate about filming village cricket.
Guests
Phoenix White (BBC cricket staffer; referenced as “matching to Dolka”), and Jimmy Anderson (former England fast bowler; co-host/guest). Stephen Fleming and Joe Root are discussed as real-world figures, not guests.
Key claims
Joe Root should be England men’s Test captain again; Fleming’s appointment should help return England toward “traditional Test cricket” and support younger players. “Flemball” is a coined idea for what Fleming’s England might look like. Filming village cricket clips is acceptable, but mocking low-level mistakes for views is harmful.
Notable examples
Whole Foods lunchbox ad; “clicky ponting”/comments backlash about village cricket filming; dream chat includes a T-Rex batting at No.6; confessions include sun cream on balls and a “teas” con that led to an opponent conceding.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VORemembering Barney
1:40 to 2:48
The hosts share emotional memories of Jimmy's late dog, Barney.
“But, well, lamgistical slash sort of doggistical.”
Recent Cricket News
2:48 to 4:40
Discussion on recent cricket events including Stephen Fleming and Joe Root's announcements.
“There's a lot of cricket to get through.”
Joe Root's Captaincy Return
4:40 to 8:00
Analyzing Joe Root's return as captain and its implications for the team.
“which the internet will hopefully run with and disagree with and hate.”
Harry Brook's Future
8:00 to 9:00
Exploring Harry Brook's position and future prospects within the team.
“in this England team winning because I want Joe to have that little bow at the end of his career.”
Leadership in Cricket
9:00 to 14:00
Discussion about leadership roles in cricket, focusing on Joe Root and team strategy.
“And obviously as England captain, all that is magnified by a million with all the added sort of press attention, you know, media attention and attention around the world on a test series.”
Assessing England's Cricket Leadership
14:00 to 18:00
Discussion on players' potential leadership roles in England cricket.
“that hangover from what happened or what has happened over the last 12 months yeah and keeping him away from that limelight to an extent.”
Exploring Flemball and Stephen Fleming
18:00 to 22:50
Insight into the concept of 'Flemball' and Stephen Fleming's coaching style.
“I don't think we're going to see, you know, we're not going to go back to the days of Atherton and Jack Russell and Nasser saying, unfortunately, the new guys going on, which you'd love that.”
Jeetan Patel's Role and Apologies
22:50 to 24:59
Discussion around Jeetan Patel's public appearances and hypothetical apologies.
“I had to do that at Radio 1's Big Weekend once.”
Controversies in Village Cricket Filming
25:08 to 28:00
Debate on the ethics of filming amateur cricket and its implications.
“Speaking of boo, on last week's podcast, we discussed click gate.”
The Debate on Filming Cricket
28:00 to 29:40
Exploring the implications of filming amateur versus professional cricket.
“Don't make cricket into who's been framed because all those people are just trying to escape their lives.”
Show all 21 chapters
Consequences of Viral Cricket Clips
29:40 to 31:30
Discussing the impact viral clips have on players and the sport's reputation.
“Well, the clip funny, the clips that do well, the clips where Ravi Bapara's trousers fall down when he's diving for a fall.”
The Frog Box and Cricket Accessibility
31:30 to 33:10
Understanding the benefits of using Frog Box technology in local cricket.
“You need to caveat every single thing you say, which is, I'm not saying...”
Mental Health in Cricket
33:10 to 35:00
Addressing the mental health concerns for young cricketers under public scrutiny.
“It's a camera that you can just get for your village team, for your local team, and it just records all the bits and puts them on the internet so people can watch your spell.”
Dreams and Cricket
35:00 to 36:50
Sharing humorous dreams related to cricket among hosts and listeners.
“We then texted the boss of BBC Cricket and said, have you ever had a dream about Sharky?”
Imaginary Cricket Teams with Dinosaurs
36:50 to 38:30
Creating a whimsical idea of cricket teams made up of dinosaurs.
“If you're wondering about the T-Rex's batting technique, it strapped the bat to its shin.”
Cricketing Confessions
38:30 to 40:30
Hosts share confessions from listeners about their cricket experiences.
“Yeah Stegosaurus three and four Yeah Five Velociraptors even though they don't exist technically Oh no Velociraptors are quick actually Velociraptors are about to eight Why do they not exist?”
Crafty Tactics in Cricket
40:30 to 42:01
Discussing a listener's crafty strategy to gain an advantage in a match.
“Sun cream would do nothing to the cricket ball.”
Casual Banter and Dog References
42:01 to 43:34
The hosts engage in light-hearted banter involving dog anecdotes and birthdays.
“And he cancelled before the other team cancelled.”
Celebrations and Cricket Clubs
43:34 to 44:39
Guests send well wishes to various individuals and cricket clubs.
“Banstead's Ladies' Walking Cricket Team, who are holding a ladies' festival.”
Mining for Denim
44:40 to 45:49
A humorous discussion about denim mining and quirky anecdotes related to it.
“My uncle used to go mining for denim because in America...”
Engagements and Pressure Washers
45:50 to 48:23
The hosts share engagements and a funny story about a jet wash named Joffre Karcher.
“Karcher is a brand of jet washers, power washers.”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00This BBC podcast is supported by ads outside the UK. Pop quiz. What's in your kid's lunchbox? At Whole Foods Market, they've already done the studying. Over 300 food ingredients are banned from their shelves. No hydronated fats in the peanut butter and no high fructose corn syrup in the cookies. And for sandwiches, there are no synthetic nitrates or nitrites in any of their deli meat. So you can pack lunchboxes with peace of mind. Get back to school ready at Whole Foods Market. Running a business shouldn't feel like surviving a software group project. One app for accounting, another for inventory, another for sales.
0:40James Anderson:And somehow, none of them talk to each other. That's where Odoo comes in. An all-in-one business management software that brings every part of your business together. From sales and accounting to inventory and marketing, all in one powerful platform. No messy integrations. No bouncing between tabs. And best of all, no spreadsheets. Stop managing software and start managing your business with one unified system. Try for free today at odoo.com. That's O-D-O-O dot com. Hello and welcome to TailEnders. Hello and thank you for having us on TailEnders, your loosely cricket-based podcast. Sharky, maybe put the guitar sound in here because I haven't got it.
1:21Thank you so much.
1:23James Anderson:Hello. Hello. Phoenix White, matching to Dolka. And we have Jimmy Anderson. Hello. Hello. Back from his holidays. Hello. Back from his holidays and due to a lamgistical sort of error on my part, Jimmy was supposed to be here. Lamgistical error? But, well, lamgistical slash sort of doggistical. Yeah. Let's dedicate this episode of Tailenders to my late, wonderful dog, Barney. I wasn't sure what I'd be feeling like today When I woke up And I didn't get to Jimmy quick enough to say Let's do tail enders, I need to do tail enders I want to see you all, let's go out for dinner and do tail enders But Jimmy's in Manchester You met Barney, didn't you, Jim?
2:07James Anderson:Yeah, of course Oh, yeah Legend He was a legend He was a legend He was very much in Tendorka He was, his essence was very much You got on very well with him When I stayed over at yours, yeah, we had a real bond. We just used to lie there and get our bellies rubbed by you and Bella. Just a lovely, joyful bundle of a thing. Oh, mate. Yeah. Yeah. Do you want to talk about it? Do you want to use this sort of therapy? No, I think we'll do that after because I will just cry. Yeah. But I do want to talk about it. That is fine. Now, I've been crying all day and all day yesterday, but I want to do tail enders.
2:48James Anderson:There's a lot of cricket to get through. Oh, cheers. As soon as we filed the last episode. And that's how it happens, isn't it? You fax it. Sharky put it in. We faxed it to the BBC. Yeah. It went out. Bang. Stephen Fleming. Joe Root announcement. Yeah. Oh, lovely. Solid names. Wholesome names. Go on. Also, bang. Big backlash towards your Clicky Ponson take. Oh, we've forgotten about that now. I thought that was going to be a problem. I really enjoyed you being called a boomer. Is that what he got called? I thought that was going to be an issue because Greg was at my gig and he was like, oh, by the way, there's been a few comments.
3:28James Anderson:Well, I was looking at it and I was like, this is good. Let's get into this. This is a good discussion. Yeah, yeah. So we will get into that in a second. I don't need it today. Well, I don't mind it because I think it's a really, I do think it is an interesting discussion. Yeah. And, you know, as classic internet behaviour, all the nuance is gone. Yeah, yeah. You know. Do you know what I like about it? It's like me and Matcha would text enough and Matcha is like, you can always just, just Greg always gets it exactly right. No, yeah. He's like Greg. He's got a great barometer. Greg always just calls it perfect.
4:05By the way. Check the comments.
4:07James Anderson:Yeah, but it doesn't mean that those people are right or I'm right. It's just, that's what a discussion is. And that's what he means by that. You've called back, right? I want to get into that in a bit. Gorgeous. Of course, we've got some lovely Go Welles. And someone's messaging about some dreams. Is that Joe Root in a spaghetti guitar? I want to cross live to Manchester. And Jimmy, I want your take. Your hot, un-nuanced take, which the internet will hopefully run with and disagree with and hate. on the Joe Root, Stephen Fleming appointments. Shall we go for the captain first? Joe Root is going to be England men's captain, test captain, again.
4:56Why?
5:02It's a good question. That sound was, I should have prepared for this. I haven't.
5:13James Anderson:What's your gut saying? I think that it's the best thing for the team. Okay. But my worry is, is it the best thing for Joe? Oh, interesting. That would be my only worry. Well, I think he'd be fine. It's four years since he did it. He's had plenty of time playing under Ben Stokes. He's had time away from that. It's a different coach now. It's a nice opportunity, actually, for him to build a relationship with Stephen Fleming and get the team playing how he wants them to play. They both want them to play. And I feel like with those two players, you know, the way they played test cricket and the way they view it, maybe we might see a team go a little bit more back towards traditional test cricket.
6:03Yeah. And also like, yeah, we mentioned before on previous podcasts that this team's like, it's sort of in a developmental stage. So I think Stephen Fleming with his experience, Joe with his experience, they should be able to help the younger guys that are coming into the group develop and try and find their feet in Test cricket.
6:28James Anderson:I think that's spot on. That's how I feel. I feel actually quite excited for Joe because it's a completely different setup, completely different team. He's by far the most senior one in there. And he'll want to do that. His final act, maybe, who knows, his final act might just be to help the next generation, the next iteration of this cricket team. He wants to leave it in a good place. Yeah, yeah. And also last week we said he would put team over himself all the time. And also he's four years on. He was one of the greats four years ago. He is now the greatest. Yeah. And he has got more runs than anyone else who played for England.
7:14James Anderson:He has broken all the records. He has just become even greater. Yeah. Maybe he's sort of, you know, next challenge. It's a nice opportunity, isn't it? Because so often you say with like age and experience that you've learned the thing by the time it's over. Do you know what I mean? And he probably had that with his captaincy. you might have been thinking a few in the last four years like oh if i could have my time again now i'd probably see it differently so actually quite sweet to have that and i always have this thing that with these teams it's always having a how to have a reason you want them to do well and i feel now watching them that i'm going to want this to go well for joe yes you know what i mean and so so to watch them in the ashes next year i feel like i'm going to genuinely be invested in this England team winning because I want Joe to have that little bow at the end of his career.
8:05So it feels quite nice just from a sort of overall well-being of English cricket. We're all in the same boat type perspective, you know? I think that would probably be the icing on the cake for him as a poor to have that as – to be an Ashes winning captain along with everything else that he's achieved would just be like – I'm saying that like I don't think he's won the Ashes as a captain. I don't think he did. I'm not sure. Not as a captain. He's obviously won the Ashes. He's been an Ashes winning player. But I think to captain England to an Ashes win, whether it's in England or Australia, I think that'd be just something for him.
8:49I mean, he's had an immense career and he will go down as the greatest batter we've ever had. So I just, yeah, I actually texted him and said, my first sentence was thought you would have had enough of captaincy with an exclamation mark congrats mate wishing you every success and then he replied saying ha ha thought you would have had enough of taking rickets
9:17James Anderson:sounds doesn't sound doesn't not sound like an invitation back into the day I know I was going to say does that sound no it's just no it's nice yeah I was just trying to be funny I was probably a few strawberry daiquiris deep when I sent him that message on holiday sweet Jim in terms of like taking on the captaincy I know since you've taken on the captaincy as lengths is it a massive change in workload is it compared to just being a player yeah I think that the biggest change is I mean it varies from person to person how you deal with it and some people can sort of compartmentalize a bit better than others and you know for me the last or this season certainly I just find it really hard to switch off you're always thinking about what the players need how are you going to get the best out of the players what what what can you do to help them what do you can you say anything that will help them you know what sort of attitude you need to bring then you're thinking about tactics you're thinking about team selection you're thinking about, but you know, all that sort of stuff outside of the game before you've even gone to the field.
10:26And obviously as England captain, all that is magnified by a million with all the added sort of press attention, you know, media attention and attention around the world on a test series. Everything's just magnified that much more. Yeah.
10:46James Anderson:But he can help steer those guys that haven't really played well especially the guys that haven't played Ashes cricket because there will be loads in that team when we get to next summer. Oh my god. Can I ask if you can get him on to Elenders please Jim? Yeah. Yeah come on we need Joe back. Nice to get Joe back maybe before the Pakistan series maybe. Yeah I'll definitely try. Yeah lovely that'd be great. Have you heard the whole Ben Stokes interview yet? I haven't heard any of it on Love of Cricket. I listened to a bit of it on the train on the way down. What's your takeaway? Singing like a canary.
11:24Was he?
11:25James Anderson:A bit. I mean, a bit. Yeah. I just. Did we not get him because Sharky wasn't checking the emails with his way? What, Stokes' emailing? An email from ben.stokes at durhamccc.co.uk. Subject, singing like a canary. Yeah. Yeah. I'm ready. Yeah, subject. I'm ready to sing like a canary. I mean he He sort of did He He said lots But didn't say Yeah Everything that he What we want him to say What did you make of it Jim Have you heard it all No I've not I've not heard any of it Seen some of the clips I haven't seen any clips No Oh Okay Alright I'm not across social media As well as I should be Have you read that You read that piece The new Have you heard that podcast Is basically Do you mean you've watched the clips Yeah that's what it basically means.
12:15Did you hear someone talking about an article that we've read? I know, it's so bad, isn't it? It's with bands, I love your record. It's like, oh, you've seen the 20 second clip.
12:24James Anderson:I love the video. What video? Yeah. The one on TikTok or the one on YouTube? Oh, man, that's so depressing. I've got a question from Jimmy quickly. Jim, what do you think Harry Brook will make of this? Do you think it telegraphs to him that they just felt that he just can't captain his team? Or do you feel like... That's what Stokes said. in the podcast oh interesting clip that I saw clip this up I've been grieving but I saw the clip in between tears and he was basically said Harry Brook would what message does that send to Harry Brook right which is what a lot of people said yeah if you're vice captain why are you not being made captain when Ben Smith isn't playing yada yada yada that's what he said but I'd love to know James Anderson's thoughts um yeah it's it's a it's a difficult one because as i said before i think it is the right decision making joe the captain i think i think it's i think it's best for everyone i just think that harry brooke has done a very good job in white ball cricket so far this summer in particular i think it's gone really well and he's shown signs of being an excellent captain in that format i think it is a lot to do all three formats and we've seen from a coaching point of view they're going down the the split route now um i think it is you know there's too much cricket to to be able to deal with all that and i think it's actually for harry's benefit that this decision has been made partly yeah yeah i know there is an element of there's definitely a bit of a an element of that hangover from what happened or what has happened over the last 12 months yeah and keeping him away from that limelight to an extent.
14:12But I think for him, it'll be great because he can go back to test cricket and show everyone how good he is as a batter, focus on that. And then, you know, when he's in the white ball stuff, we've seen this summer already that he's a very, very good captain. He can work under a new regime as well and see how that goes and work with Stephen Fleming
14:31James Anderson:and see what's Joe Root captain. And be clearly knowing that I'm going to be the captain of his team in a couple of years. If it works out for him. Yeah, if it works out. And I guess, what's the rush? There's no massive rushes there. He's so young. No, not at all. Joe, I thought, this is just, I don't know, this is interesting. I don't know if this will make him feel bad if it ever reaches him. But I think Ollie Pope was probably two innings away from being England captain now. Do you know what I mean? I think if he got, as vice captain, I think if he got runs once or twice more in the last year, he would be England captain now.
15:05James Anderson:It's funny how no one's talking about him. No, we're not mentioning, but he was vice-captain. He'd looked after the team. He didn't need... He seemed like... He's a captain of five tests, didn't he? Five or six tests, I think. Yeah, he jumped, but I just felt... Yeah, so I just wonder how he's feeling. Does he come back in at any point? I don't know. Is there a spot at some point for Ali to come? You know, maybe he... I don't know. He's still young enough to make a comeback. Yeah, maybe he is. Well, aren't we all? Yeah. Yeah? Yeah, I think he'd be great. I think he's doing... Maccabee's having the summer of their life?
15:37Yeah.
15:37James Anderson:Yeah, thank you very much. I saw it with my own eyes. And he is. Inspired by Jimmy Anderson. All in our 40s, if you're counting.
15:50Stephen Fleming. Yeah, what's this cricket going to look like? What is Flembal?
15:58James Anderson:I wonder if anyone will... It bet you as the... Flembal. He went so early with Flembal, didn't you? He went on that. It was day one on the group, wasn't it? Yeah, yeah. Oh, minute one. Hashtag Flemmball. Yeah, hashtag Flemmball. Minute one. Yeah. What is Flemmball? Jimmy, that's one for you. Flemmball. Well, as Sharky said on the group, that's something he coughed up the other morning, I think.
16:22I don't know. I think, you know, I don't know Stephen Flemming as a coach. I played against him and obviously saw him loads as a player. he's a really good guy and did wonders as captain of New Zealand sort of put them on the map there's you know I saw he did a great job when he was doing that and he's obviously done a fantastic job in T20 cricket franchise cricket as a coach as well so I think he's he ticks a lot of boxes you know you can't say if someone's going to be successful or not because at the end of the day he can only you know send out the players that he's got to hand so it's down to the players to perform.
17:06Obviously the messaging is important as we saw with Bas Paul and stuff but I think he'll just be a really, really good coach. I think he'll be shrewd. I think he'll be almost like a good mentor for younger guys as well. He's been there and done it. He knows what it takes to be successful at that level. I'm really excited to see what happens. I'm not going to say I think he'll be brilliant. I'm going to say I'm really excited because I think he's a he's someone that you know you'll hear him be interviewed and be really impressed with him he's such an impressive bloke feels like a good
17:43James Anderson:yeah it does Joe Rue yeah it does Steve Fleming although the the sort of darker side of my soul oh go on really wanted Justin Langer oh yeah it would have been more fun just for fun yeah just to just just for a laugh for a bit but we're not up for a laugh now very serious now it screams balance doesn't it English cricket is dang hanging by a thread can't have fun they can't afford fun they've used all their fun chips up all the fun credits are gone on the hundred say again Sharky Flembore is serious Flembore is serious yeah thank you for that I'd just say it's a bit more conservative it's a bit more it's about balance rationality humility management speak yeah I thought you hate that stoicism you say that though So he was in a team with McCollum and would have, like, when he was captain in that team, he would have encouraged players to go and play the way they want to play.
18:39I don't think we're going to see, you know, we're not going to go back to the days of Atherton and Jack Russell and Nasser saying, unfortunately, the new guys going on, which you'd love that.
18:48James Anderson:Yeah. I'm not saying what's wrong with that. But hopefully it'll be a nicely balanced team, test team that will suit test cricket in 2020. it's 2027 that'd be nice yeah be nice to have some long days yeah exactly long test matches grind it out a bit yeah also be exciting and maybe if you're listening Flem kick the odd bin just kick the odd bin here and there yeah is he a bin kicker that's what you want from Justin Langer is he a bin kicker don't know I don't think Justin Langer I don't think you could have taken it seriously Justin Langer being an England coach I liked the no no it would have been rubbish I don't think we could have taken it seriously and he would have I think he never would have done it.
19:31James Anderson:I quite like the story of it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And also, the other thing I was going to say is Ben Stokes is going to be back by the ashes. Yeah. As captain. No, he'll just come back and play. Because Joe Root will say, come and play. I'll come play for Joe. Yeah. Fancy some Flembal. Lol. Lol.
19:58Well we look forward to it Pakistan series very soon My prediction Can't wait for it In three or four years Is Stokes will Manage Coach England And Jimmy will be his Sort of right Oh wow
20:10James Anderson:That's a good one I like that Oh yeah You'll be sent out You're Jeetan Patel Yeah You'll be sent out For the interviews mate No I'll be still playing For Lancet might be as well but I think you'll be flown backwards and forwards for your spells and then you'll come post-match we were saying the other day on a whatsapp that if anything bad happens in the country Jeetan Patel should be sent out so you're looking about it not cricket related just anything economy's gone down trains aren't running Jeetan Patel how do you talk about it post-bite burn heatwave heatwave Anyway, just anything. Jeet Patel has to come out and apologise for it.
20:58Please. Oh, what an amazing idea, Sharky. Let's get Jeet Patel on and he can just apologise for stuff. People can say that what they want Jeet Patel to apologise for. If you've wronged your partner or your friend,
Read the full transcript
21:12James Anderson:you know, as a boss, you've been, you know, you've been a terrible boss one day. we can get you he can apologise to your workforce yeah yeah if you've cheated at an exam or a relationship or either of those things G.E. Patel could apologise on your behalf Vicky Ponton come on yeah yeah totally hire him do you know I did talking of interviews I was I was thinking of this during the World Cup every England game the assistant manager oh I'm out and gave an interview at half-time. Yeah, Jeetan Patel. The half-time one? That was mad. Who's the England guy? I actually can't remember his name. Was it him?
21:54James Anderson:Dave? I can't remember his name. System manager. The most Scouse man in the world. Yeah. But I thought, like, when you get shoveled out in front of the media at the end of a day's play, you've been in the field for six and a half hours. Why can't they just, you know, you've got 40 minutes for lunch. Let's have a two-minute chat with Jit and Patel then. What, during the lunch break? Just as you leave the field. Do you know what I mean? Charky's got in our ear saying it's Anthony Barry. Anthony Barry, that's it. So you think interviews in sessions. I'm so surprised you're saying that, Jim, because I can't imagine anything you want to do worse than having to do an interview with press during lunch.
22:36No, I'm talking coming off the field. so you know I'm just trying to like when you come off the field mate there's nothing worse than having a day in the field and then having to do an interview and then having to reflect on six and a half hours when I can't remember what happened in the first session of the day don't ask me about that mate I can't f***ing remember yeah yeah you know what I mean ask me what happened half an hour ago and I can just about figure it out yeah yeah so that's why I just think it'd be a it might annoy everyone but I just think No I think I can totally yeah I can totally see that being brought in I'd like to talk to
23:13James Anderson:Jeetan Patel and ask him what's been the good stuff he's done Yeah we don't know That's all we know he's like the you know he's the the harbinger of doom you know he's clearly doing a good enough job because he's still got the gig you know I love people things he's got to apologise for but he hasn't done It'd be nice to have a sit down with Jeetan Patel Yeah yeah and then do the idea of getting him to apologise for stuff oh so you don't tell him but that's why he's coming on I think this is an open invitation to Gene Patel yeah we're not going to give you our time we are going to take the piss of the fact that you are sent out every time there's some bad news and you're going to deliver people's bad news yeah that's yeah I believe what he wants to do because he's so good at it great yeah yeah can you imagine that that as a job a football team gets beat 5-0 oh Jeet can you come up and do the post match yeah yeah the gig's got cancelled can Jeet and Patel come out and do the press.
24:09James Anderson:There's a thunderstorm coming. We've cancelled the festival.
24:14James Anderson:Play's been abandoned. Jason Patel apologises for rain. I had to do that at Radio 1's Big Weekend once. I had to go out there after the headline. Jason Patel'd it. And tell everyone that it was over. Jason Patel them. So I walked out. Jason Patel them. And everyone booed. I was like, that's the end. You've got to go home. Oh. Yeah. That's how Jason... Pop quiz. What's in your kids' lunchbox? At Whole Foods Market, they've already done the studying. Over 300 food ingredients are banned from their shelves. No hydronated fats in the peanut butter and no high fructose corn syrup in the cookies. And for sandwiches, there are no synthetic nitrates or nitrites in any of their deli meat.
24:59So you can pack lunchboxes with peace of mind. Get back to school ready at Whole Foods Market.
25:07James Anderson:So feels. Speaking of boo, on last week's podcast, we discussed click gate. Yeah, I thought you got that spot on. Thanks, mate. Which some people were calling clicky ponting. So I mentioned how I felt about the filming of village cricket. Yes, you did. And I said, in general, the clipping up bits. Well, I didn't specify that, I guess, which was maybe my mistake. I didn't think it was controversial at all. It's not controversial, let's be honest. Yeah, okay. If you think that's controversial, you need to have a look at the rest of the world. Actually, like we said about the whole thing, it was relief for everyone because finally, look at a world event, and it was a world event, and you can go, well, I know that I'm right.
26:03James Anderson:How I feel about this, yeah. I say, it's black and white, that is a bad thing. What I didn't realise is that people would also look at me and go, I'm right about this. I'm wrong about that. You're also a bad thing. I'm also a bad thing. I've always thought it. Machen's just said, can you look at the comments, but can we just bring up what Machen did? What did Machen do? Where he's... Oh, Machen was so sweet. This is why you're like my dog. My dead dog. This is why you're like my dog. I was trying to work out on the way. Don't, I will go here I actually went through all the... Go on, just... Okay, you describe it, Greg Basically on the group I was like, lol, look at this Everyone's going mad A little bit of a pylon A bit of a pylon for no real reason I was attacking the very foundations of village cricket And also like, as if...
26:51James Anderson:I'm not... I don't have any power I'm not gonna... Just because I say an opinion about I don't want people to have a GoPro on when I'm batting and it's village cricket You can still have the GoPro I can't shut that down it's not like I'm not going to go around and turn all the cameras off every Sunday morning that's not I'm not going to unplug your charger in the night that's not what's happening anyway so I said that in the group and then Matching went away and found some comments that agreed with me it's so sweet it's so lovely that was so and he presents it to the group like this is the general feeling out there and I really appreciate that You didn't mention any of the other.
27:31You just made it like, look, we've had some nice stuff.
27:35James Anderson:Encouraging signs. I had a lovely indie hangover from watching The Maccabees the night before. And I looked at my phone and just thought, that's perfect. What, the match has done that? Yeah. Perfect match. In my eyes, you're perfect. Anyway. That actually pierces me somewhere. So, but my point was. In my heart. Yeah, go on. I think the clipping up of blunders, bloopers, people falling over, people dropping catches, people getting hit for six sixes, looking really sad about it. Who's been framed? I don't. Yeah. Don't make cricket into who's been framed because all those people are just trying to escape their lives.
28:14James Anderson:Yeah. Just go and have a nice time like we do. Like be s*** at cricket and it's fine and it doesn't need to be seen by four million people. I think that's fine. That's not a controversial point. That's not a controversial point. It's a really, yeah. But people thought that I wanted to ban cameras or like ban Frog Box. And people were like, yeah, but my granddad's at home and he can't leave the house so it's the only way he can watch cricket. Okay, great. Yeah. Of course that's great. That's lovely. I'm not trying to, I don't want to ban you from anything that's, but the clipping up of someone making a t*** themselves just because you know it'll get views.
28:52James Anderson:That's what I don't like. No, I don't think that's, yeah. I can't believe anyone would disagree with that. Is it okay to do it for professional cricketers? Yes. Oh, it's a great question, Jimmy. Yes. It's fine. It's a great question, Jimmy. But the argument for that would be... Well, yes and not, but no, ultimately. But like, yes, it's being filmed. So that's going to happen because it's your job. No. This is the other thing. Go on. But lots of cricket now is, you're able to watch it for the reasons we've just talked about. people you know i know that like kids play and their parents can't come and watch every weekend so it's nice for them to be able to see them play agree lovely yeah agree so why is it why can you not clip that up and then but you can clip professionals up making themselves well is that i mean i don't um but uh yeah i mean that's a larger point as to what does well on social yeah which is the whole point of that clip that went up of tail enders actually is better in its entirety on the podcast yeah because you put that up but actually that's what everyone wants is engagement for the thing so people come back and listen to the thing yeah because they want to find out what you said and i stand by my point we've ruined the world yeah and what you said is not that bad oh yeah but that is it though is you're you're right jim that is there that is also a problem.
30:17James Anderson:We like failure. Well, the clip funny, the clips that do well, the clips where Ravi Bapara's trousers fall down when he's diving for a fall. The clip did really well, says Sharky. Yeah, there you go. I know it did, but what's the cost? Yeah, yeah. Okay, what's the cost? It's a low-hanging fruit. Yeah, well, we saw Ravi Bapara's low-hanging fruit when his trousers came down on the boundary. Ravi Bapara's low-hanging fruit. Are you going to read out some trees? yeah some examples here awful take it's actually been great for cricket okay okay I feel like tail-ends have missed the mark here okay I'll have tail-ends but disagree on this the village cricket clips have been a good thing can we just say Greg missed the mark tail-end as a whole yeah yeah fine apparently I missed the mark a rare L from Greg and the team please stop talking filming games is an amazing thing yeah again but there's a few that called you a boomer yeah I mean, I don't, yeah.
31:17What's a nice one that you dug out?
31:19James Anderson:Well, this is... I didn't dig out, I was there. A few people did understand what I was getting at. I might not have put it across in the exact way that I should have done to avoid. You need to caveat every single thing you say, which is, I'm not saying... We have this joke on The Breakfast Show. Whenever I say well done to a specific sort of sports team or sport, We're like, well done in the rugby league finals, whoever. And everyone's like, what about Rugby Union? Yeah. Okay, yeah, yeah. Well done to the Rugby Union. Oh, what about the netball team? Yeah, well done. Well done to the netball team as well.
31:59James Anderson:Why are you ignoring squash? Well, yeah, well done to the squash team. They did really well. Oh, we're not talking about the equestrian results today, are we? Well done to all the horses in the equestrian. Yeah, well done, guys. Oh, well, the badminton team now. They've just their world record holder. Yeah, well done to the badminton. Oh, f*** off.
32:26For balance, the nice one I found was from John 2.7. He said, nail on the head stuff from Greg James. RE, stopping filming village cricket. I had to bat with a keeper wearing a helmet cam in a Sunday friendly earlier this season. couldn't concentrate imagining the Facebook comments every time I played and missed. Why do they do this? Every time you see a clip get posted to socials it's just met with a chorus of how bad the standard is. Right. I've just about made my piece with frog boxes but you should have to turn up with a release form if you want to wear a helmet camera two inches from my arse.
33:00I think that's true.
33:01James Anderson:I think there is a difference between the frog box thing which is really cool. And by the way when I first saw that I was like I would have loved that as a kid because you might see I don't know what a frog box what it is. It's a camera that you can just get for your village team, for your local team, and it just records all the bits and puts them on the internet so people can watch your spell. You can watch highlights of an innings. That's great. It sort of clips it up. I would love to have seen, you know, oh, my God, I got a wicket. Yeah, yeah. I can see it on the thing. I got a wicket for Bishop Stortford Thirds.
33:31James Anderson:Yeah. And I would have loved to have seen that. Yeah, yeah. Because it didn't happen that often. Yeah. But I think the whole, that's the point, isn't it, about being a content creator and going, oh, look at these, look at these idiots. This guy dropped a sitter. And then in the comments, it is that going, oh, what a use of pie he is type thing. Yeah, yeah. Anyway. Well, it makes you feel, it makes you feel like you can't, no one can do anything. So you're so full of criticism for other people, but you can't actually try to do anything. Because you're so scared of failure because you're so full of criticism for other people anyway.
34:07James Anderson:Yeah. But also, we actually talked about this in the first season of The 100, because there were loads of, particularly in the women's game, there were loads of really young cricketers, 16, 17 years old, who had not only never played in front of more than 3 ,000 people, but also were suddenly live on Sky Sports. And do you remember we had those, remember when we were the co-chairs of Overly Incibles? There were those meetings that we had, which were talking about the safeguarding and the welfare checks of those younger players because suddenly you drop a catch live on Sky Sports, that might get clipped up and then suddenly you're in front of all the sexists in the comments going, oh, this is why women shouldn't play sports.
34:47James Anderson:Why are we paying for that? I wouldn't let them pay me to go and watch that. So you get all that s**t. I think we could protect High Road in Cricket Club from that, maybe. Fair to say we touched a nerve And I'm looking forward to all the context Being taken out of that talking point
35:08James Anderson:Just to say on that A lot of tailenders Who understood the conversation we were having Because they're not thick There is a person at the centre of this story Yeah I did think about that a bit this week The guy who was clicking And Yeah I called him a pillock I'd call it to his face but also you know he's probably had quite a bad yeah he's probably too much hasn't he yeah I can imagine considering all the actual evil people in the world yeah exactly he's not really yeah but we do hope he's doing alright and that Saltburn can go back and play cricket because I think they cancelled their game last week did they it's just a bit it's a bit mucky innit so go well to everyone involved in that cheers I mean and everyone batter umpire opposition it's like it's yeah yeah yeesh anyway next up dream chat oh yeah because we were texting Mountie about dreams weren't we Mountie being the nickname that we've forced upon Adam Mountie oh really people know him as Mountie no I think people oh that is Mountie yeah yeah he's the boss of BBC cricket now yeah Mountie so Sharky had a dream about Mountie yes in the dream Sharky is in the TMS box while they're broadcasting and his phone goes off he picks the phone up Mountie tells him off classic anxiety dream.
36:26James Anderson:We then texted the boss of BBC Cricket and said, have you ever had a dream about Sharky? He said, no, sadly not. Hope it doesn't ruin the theme. And then I heard nothing until the next day. Out of nowhere, he said, if it's of interest, I had a dream about you and Sharky last night. Yeah, so it fed its way into his psyche and it was of interest. Do you know what the dream was? I didn't want to ask in case it was mucky. Could have been. No judgment. No judgment. No judgement Unlike the comment section And actually Off the back of that A lot of people Have been sending Their dreams in Which normally is boring Yeah But with cricket It's good Yeah I enjoy dreams generally We can say With cricket We give it a pass Hi team Says Colin Discussion of dreams On the latest podcast Reminded me My favourite dream Involving cricket Where England took The bold move Of selecting a Selecting a T-Rex As a specialist Number six In their team Yeah I can see How that works After showing the T-Rex turning a two into a three, it cut to Nasser in the studio who remarked, what this T-Rex has done is take the pressure off Joe Root.
37:32James Anderson:Wow. If you're wondering about the T-Rex's batting technique, it strapped the bat to its shin. Oh. But the threat of eating a bowler seemed to be its primary method of not being dismissed. Cheers, Colin. Oh. Little arms, T-Rex's. Yeah, I thought tiny little pads on those little legs. Yeah, but... Yeah. Is that what... Or is it... Well, that would be arm guard. The bat was strapped to... Oh, right. Yeah, yeah. The top legs. So the bat was... Oh, yeah. And the bat was strapped to its shin. And kicked the ball away again. Yeah. Yeah. But I think if a T-Rex was a quicker, it would bat six. So that's accurate.
38:09Engine room. Exactly. Engine room. Bowls. Quick. Who's opening the bat in? A diplodocus.
38:16James Anderson:Stegosaurus. No, Stegosaurus is a three-all. What are the little ones that stood up for themselves? Jimmy's got his head in his house Triceratops I think two Triceratops are opening the batting So what a Diplodocus and a Triceratops one and two Yeah Stegosaurus three and four Yeah Five Velociraptors even though they don't exist technically Oh no Velociraptors are quick actually Velociraptors are about to eight Why do they not exist? No it's not real Oh Is it not? A Velociraptor was a made up thing for Jurassic Park Clip this Clip this This will get engagement I think a rat a raptors existed which were little birds right but Michael Crichton invented a velociraptor which isn't actually but they haven't found the volumes of a velociraptor couldn't play cricket but a velociraptor no he wouldn't let it you're not real you're not real you can't you can't you don't qualify for England but the bird raptors would have batted eight I think I'm right in saying that anyway any sort of bird dinosaur yeah spinner yeah I like that I don't mind that flight as flight what are they called the flying ones pterodactyl pterodactyl yeah are they real I think they were real yeah I believe they were real is this real what we're doing now anyway Colin sweet dreams thank you following on from Matt's quiz last week we've had some more cricketing confessions yes IG Force Felix matching cheers cheers cheers cheers in our club games which are very relaxed don't know if they're filmed okay We used to cover our hands in sun cream to rub on the ball.
39:52James Anderson:Sister Wong, have I sinned? Louis in Limington. Well, Reverend Anderson, can you help with that? Is that wrong? Yes, the Reverend James Anderson, sorry, the very Reverend James Anderson will judge whether that's malpractice. What do you think? Well, I'd say it is, yeah.
40:13Yeah. Okay. What would sun cream do to a ball? It would make it heavier. No, it wouldn't make it heavier. A bit.
40:23James Anderson:If it seeps in to the tarnished leather. Stone cream. Yeah. It would add a lacquer that would help the ball swing in subcontinental conditions. Sun cream would do nothing to the cricket ball. It would do nothing to the cricket ball. Yeah, I'll pride it. You've been limiting. You've been wasting your time. It would help it from getting burnt. It's like, well, you know, if you play in the wet, the cricket all absorbs all the water. Sorry, God. It absorbs all the water. Yeah. Dear G-Force, Felix, Jimmy, Matthew, Sharnado, and Izzy. Cheers, cheers. Forgive me, father slash sister, for I have sinned.
40:58James Anderson:Elliot here. I play in the Yorkshire Prem North. Several years ago, when my team was in the bottom division of the league, we had a weekend in the middle of the summer where many players were unavailable due to holidays, as happens every year. Can happen. All our players have stated their availability. I realised we only had three players available for our third XI. The previous week, our Sunday team had played against the club we were going to be playing and they strangely hadn't provided tees. Knowing they might also be struggling for players, I rather sneakily contacted their captain asking if they would be providing tees this week to gauge their availability.
41:26James Anderson:He came back to me saying they were short of players and would probably have to concede the game and he would let me know shortly. 30 minutes later, he confirmed they were conceding and handed us the 10 points even though I knew we would have had to concede if they'd have had a team. Oh, wow. Can I be absolved of my sins? That is dark hearts. The very reverend Jimmy Anderson. Can you say that one more time? Link first and you're out. Basically, their third team didn't have any, didn't have players. He had a hunch that the opposition wouldn't have enough players. So he said, are you going to be providing teas?
41:59James Anderson:And he said, oh no, not sure we've got enough people. And he cancelled before the other team cancelled. And he didn't tell them that they only had three players. Didn't tell them. That's all right. yeah I think that's alright that's alright it's clever it's crafty yeah maybe you should do that to Northants you're doing teasers sweet guys
42:24I think we should
42:25James Anderson:get out of here yeah Jimmy's losing the world to live actually look at his face he's thinking about he's googling velociraptors let's do the go wells and then cheers everyone to it actually on the quiz roll it over roll over the quiz roll over Beethoven Beethoven. Oh, no. Oh. Little reference to Barney now. He wasn't one of those dogs, though. Beethoven's a big Bernard, St. Bernard. But it's a kind of dribbled. There are other dog songs available. Yeah, Barney wasn't a dribbler. No. Was he not? No. No. Very clean. Farter. He was a farter. He farted right to the end. And then at the end, sort of let out.
43:06James Anderson:Loads. Anyway. Birthdays. Human being birthdays, human being ones. I was at the business end as well. Ben is 10 and Ross is 50. Go well. Cheers. Cheers. Pete's running the Sydney Marathon. Go well. For a laugh. Cheers. Cricket clubs. Human being cricket clubs, human being ones. Putney Valkyries. That is Putney CC's first women's team who played their inaugural game against Q and tied the match. Love that. Four results possible. Cheers. Wichurch Heath Cricket Club. Banstead's Ladies' Walking Cricket Team, who are holding a ladies' festival. Cheers. Promoting Ladies' Walking Cricket on Wednesday the 12th of August.
43:46James Anderson:Go, cheers. 10.30am if you want to pop down to Banstead. Go, cheers. New Tail Enders. Baby! Human being babies, human being ones. Imogen and Rory. Go, cheers. Matt took eight for six for Marden Cricket Club seconds. Nice. Eight wickets for six runs. Eight for six. Craig, Carter, James, Richard and Wendy ran the Bedford Half Marathon including one of them in full batting gear Nice To raise funds for Have an Old Cricket Club's Pavilion Restoration Project Go out Cheers Wed well to the following people who are getting married Our inaugural weddings Chad and Fumi Katie and Courtney and Daniel and Holly Go out Wed well Cheers Engagements Human being engagements human being ones by Lattler and Orgle probably.
44:34James Anderson:Jamie and Victoria. Go well. Cheers. Go well and get well to Sam who broke a rib climbing out of his friend's mine. What an friend's mine? What are you doing down there? Pierce's foot on his bike. Who owns a mine? What are they mining for? Yeah, I don't know. No idea. Cobalt? Cobalt, what? Cobalt. Cobalt. Building mobile phones again. You doing a little LCD screens? I don't know what cobalt is. Don't you look into it. It's a mineral. Oh, really? You just stick to your dinosaurs. My uncle used to go mining for denim because in America... Is that where you got your jacket from? In America, I was the best quality...
45:14For the benefit of the tape, Felix is wearing a denim jacket. Yeah, and I found it in the f***ing mind because my uncle got it for me, so... Old Levi White? No, because in the old days, they used to wear high quality denim to go mining and they used to leave the clothes in there. So all the vintage, authentic, like 1950s denim has been left in mines. So people go mining for it. In the mines? Yeah, that's where the really good, like the really good shit comes from.
45:41James Anderson:That feels like the most, the biggest bit of indie news I've ever heard in my life. I'm going mining for denim, mate. You want to come with? Yeah. Stable Mac here. Stable Mac. I've just rolled up a small cigarette or I go mine for some denim I'll see you next week
46:05James Anderson:yeah it's true you and Stephen Mack by the way as a side note is such a great duo yeah do you think so you we have a very good time and great great indie music we're having a really good time doing that I'm learning a lot I'm finding a lot of music for him as well it's six musics indie forever The Breakfast Show with myself Steve Mike and I ain't Felix White Felix and Alex Choice from you
46:34James Anderson:that's Doves on I love Stephen I love him actually loves Doves love him yeah what are we doing now oh yeah engagements Jamie Victoria Sammy broke his rift climbing out of a mine and that'll do innit oh Garden Furniture shout out my favourite part of the show Phil's got a new gazebo oh gary zeebo pratt these work um not sure i think the next one is the best one we've ever had go it's really nerdy it's really dad coded it's from someone called jude and they say i've recently purchased a new jet wash. I've called it Joffre Karcher. Karcher is a brand of jet washers, power washers. I mean, that's so...
47:29James Anderson:Do you know that? Of course I know that. I'm like the most dad person who's not got kids. What's going on here, Sharky? I love it when you walk in, Sharky, and you've got grave news. We need to let Joffre Karcher settle. There'll be lots of people laughing at that. because that is that is amazing you know about Karchas Chucky Jimmy you Jimmy you know your way around a pressure washer come on yes I know my way around a Karcha Joffra Karcha Joffra Karcha is absolutely amazing anyway I'll slide the mic back here just to let you know Velociraptors were real dinosaurs what I knew it I don't think that's true but you were so Velociraptors was a real dinosaur no but they were But it was much smaller.
48:15Okay, we'll start with that. You said it so confidently.
48:19James Anderson:Clip this up. He's going to get cancelled. Is this the kind of fake news you and La Maca think? Yeah, but they were little birds. They were little birds. They were little birds. As the podcast fades out. They were little birds. Fade the podcast out. See you, everyone. Go well. Cheers!
48:44James Anderson:is Lionel Messi. The winner is Cristiano Ronaldo. This is the story of the greatest rivalry in the history of sport. A rivalry that split football into two fates for a generation. There could be no, oh, Messi and Ronaldo are both great players. There had to be one that was better. They 100 million percent pushed each other to the next level. You know, we were the lucky ones who got to see it. I'm Steve Crossman. This is Sporting Giants Messi v Ronaldo. Listen first on BBC Sounds.
From the publisher
It’s goodbye Bazball, hello Flemball - but what can we expect from the Stephen Fleming era? Plus the Tailenders find themselves in a social media pile on, Dinosaur cricketers (literally), more cricketing confessions need absolving, perhaps the best ‘Garden Furniture Shoutout’ ever and an open invitation for Jeetan Patel to come on the pod.