Life in Five Senses | Gretchen Rubin

25:09And it's got a beautiful color. It's got a beautiful texture. There's like, what's not to love about ketchup? But this explains. And I, so I had a taste party with my friends. I had my friends come over and we all like we we compared varieties of apples and potato chips and chocolate was so fun. Highly recommend this, by the way, for work groups or friends or like family members. It's something everybody can do. It's super fun. People have a lot of opinions. There's a lot to talk about. But but as one of the things I had, everybody just taste ketchup. And next time I do this, I'm going to turn out the light so people can't see it.

25:47and I'm going to ask them, what do you think it is? Because a friend of mine was like, if I didn't know that that was ketchup, I would have thought it was like this rare, super expensive ingredient because it's so complex. It's like a, just put a, like a dollop in your mouth and really taste it. It's like your eyes will water. It's like got so many flavors on the aftertaste and the texture and mouthfeel all that. So that's something easy. You could just run to the run to the kitchen right now and taste some ketchup. Here's something bigger, which when I set myself this, this experiment, I thought it was very idiosyncratic, but it turns out a lot of people also do this, or they are interested in doing this, which is to visit the same place every day.

26:33Yeah. I've always been very interested in repetition and watching how things changed gradually over time. Like I'm just been always been very interested in that. And I live in New York and I'm so incredibly fortunate. I live within walking distance of the Metropolitan Museum. And so I decided I'll visit it every day for a year and see how it changes over time and how I change and like what I noticed. I'll explore it with all five of my senses. And since I've talked about it, many people say they do the same thing. Like they'll do exactly the same neighborhood hike or they'll do the they'll walk to the very same tree and back or a guy told me that he goes to his his same um like chain drugstore there is so much going on in a big drugstore i could easily imagine going there every year for a year just to see like what's going on like it's there's people who do forest bathing will often return to the same sit spot and observe it there's something that for some people some people they're like oh my gosh why would I chain myself to one experience when there's the whole world out there?

27:38But for some people, they're, they're very intrigued by this, this, this idea of repetition and seeing things change over time. And you do, you do see it change your perception. My perception of the met changed dramatically over time as I grew to know it better and better and to see it in so many different conditions and in so many different ways. It was, I still go the year is long over, but I still go every day because I love it so much. That's awesome. I hike, I'm in Boulder, Colorado, and I hike every day pretty much the same path. And I love the consistency of it, but then I love the change that happens every time I hike.

28:12Sometimes it's snowy, sometimes it's rainy, sometimes it's cloudy. Sometimes the mountains are, you know, really pristine and crystal clear. And sometimes they're kind of, you know, shrouded in haze and stuff. So it is fun. Sometimes you notice the differences more when everything else, when the basic landscape is the same, you can sort of pick up on those things. Whereas if you're going someplace new, that's a different way of engaging. Sure. Right. Exactly. Exactly. All right. I am going to do something that is totally shifting gears now called this or that. Oh, I love it. So I'm just going to ask you some random things just for fun, just to get to know Gretchen Rubin better.

28:52Excellent. And for me, too. So you do not know any of these questions. Just kind of like quick answer. First first thought that comes to mind. And you can expand a little bit if you'd like to. No real rules for this game. But e-book or regular book? Regular book, for sure. OK. Passenger or driver? Passenger. OK. Me too. I hate to drive. I hate driving. Oh, good. Yes. But you have an excuse. You're in Manhattan. So I feel like Manhattanites can easily be like, I never drive, but I'm in Colorado. Like, I don't have that excuse. Yeah, I do not like to drive. Yeah, me too. um air guitar or air drums neither I really do not like air music playing tell us more I find it cringy for sure okay yeah for sure neither camping or glamping glamping okay attend a party or host a party attend a party okay any more to say there I mean I I feel very hospitable, but I just don't like hosting for some reason.

30:01It's like, how can you feel hospitable and not want to host? I don't know. This is one of the things I want to work on in my, uh, in my own life. It's funny because my sister, who's the co-host of the Haber podcast with me, we're exactly the same. We're both very social. We love to get together with people and, and our, our, and we don't like to host. So we're always talking about how we're going to get over this. yeah so it's something it's something to work on or maybe I feel hospitable maybe maybe just own own that you don't like hosting and that's perfectly fine okay yeah but it does it is I always do enjoy it when I do it I think it's one of those things that it's like I always I think if I did it more this is one of the lessons of life the more you do something the less stressful it becomes because no one time matters because you do it all the time and it becomes more familiar and right before COVID my husband and I were like we're gonna do this we're going to have a dinner party once a month.

30:53We're going to have like a template. All that will change is the people. We're going to have this run like clockwork. It's going to be amazing because he's the same way. And then COVID happened in that we've never gotten back to it. So maybe by having this conversation, this is going to give me, get me excited and fired up to host more. Well, as my mom says, it doesn't get easier. You just get faster. So if you do have that template and if you have the strategy, you just get faster and it feels easier. Well, and there's no decision fatigue because you're not like, what should I serve? It's like serve the same thing every time the people are different.

31:22They don't know. Right. Right. Exactly. Okay. So I've, I've, um, I'm doing a bad job doing rapid fire here. Okay. Good. Well, this is, that was all me. That was all me. Okay. Vacation or staycation. Truthfully a staycation. I love a staycation. I, you know, I know there's all the happiness research about novelty and experience, and I'm always happy that I went, but looking forward to it. I'm like, I do love a staycation. Yeah, me too. Especially in Manhattan. I mean, there's So, so much to stay there. Oh, a hundred percent. Absolutely. Introvert or extrovert. Oh, Susan Cain herself told me that I'm an ambivert.

31:59So I'm an ambivert. Okay. Fair. I think a lot of people identify that way, but you know it from the source. That's right. That's why I wear it with pride. Exactly. Okay. Most neglected sense. What is your most neglected sense? Okay. My most neglected sense is taste, which is a very popular. Mine is sound. Oh, yours is sound. I think sound would be my second. If I might. So I have a quiz for people who want to take a quiz. If you go to Gretchen Rubin dot com slash quiz, it's a free quick quiz. I worked. Yeah, I worked with a brilliant team to make it like super cool. I'm glad to hear you say that.

32:34Thank you. Yeah. The bars. It's thought provoking, too. I was like, I don't know for this one. It's fun. It's like quick and easy, but very thought provoking and really fun. Oh, good. Well, and the reason that at first I thought I would do for your most appreciated sense, but then I realized people know their appreciated sense and they're already tapped into it. What's helpful to know is your neglected sense because that's low hanging fruit. That's something that where you aren't already learning about it or thinking about fun adventures to go on or how you could use it to connect with other people or get recommendations.

33:07You're not, you don't use it because it's your neglected sense. And so I think for a lot of people, and since the quiz has been out in the world, I've heard from people who are like, oh, once I knew that sound was my most neglected sense, I said, oh, why don't I try a sound bath? I never thought about doing it before because I never pay attention to my sense of sound, but I've heard they're really fun. I should try it. And then I had a whole new experiment. So it's a way to like, again, back to your original thing is like, how do you use your senses to become happier, healthier, more productive, more creative, calmer, more energized?

33:44The neglected sense is a very rich opportunity because you haven't been turning to it typically. Yeah, that's very true. And I became so much more aware of that as I read the book. Tell us the way to get to the quiz one more time. Oh, it's Gretchen Rubin dot com slash quiz. OK, I mean, mine is taste. And, you know, a lot of that's how I got so into ketchup, because I was like, let me pay more attention to taste. And it's not like I went out and tried like a million cuisines that I'd never eaten before, because that is not something I want to do. I'm like one of these people who eat the same food every day, but I can learn more about the food that I do eat.

34:23I can find new ways, like having the taste party with my friends was a way to connect through taste in kind of a fresh way. Doing a taste timeline, a way to connect to memories by thinking about the taste from my past and then reminiscing with other people about that. There were all these ways that I think other people probably would naturally do. But I had never done it because I'm not so into taste. Yeah, fair enough. Yeah, fair enough. So this last one is has maybe a little bit more of a story behind it. And then I'll ask you a couple more meaty questions and then we'll get into some audience Q &A here.

35:03So last one on this or that. This is about book writing in general. Listen to all the feedback or listen to some of the feedback. Oh, listen to some of the feedback. I have all kinds of people around me who I really respect who give me lots of feedback and lots of constructive criticism. And I really open my heart to that. I have all kinds of ways of making sure that I stay open to criticism. But what I've learned is that I really do not benefit from just being open to all criticism. So like, I don't read any book reviews. I don't read any profiles because what I found is like, you know, there's the negativity bias.

35:42We're more moved by negative information than by positive information as anybody who's been in a work review knows. Um, and it lodges in your brain. I mean, even if I didn't, even if I didn't think it was correct, I could still tell that it was affecting me. And if I'm going to stay creative and open-hearted and experimental, um, I need to be able to take risks and like kind of feel not feel defensive. And I realized that by opening myself up to so much criticism, it was, it was, it was not, not only was it not constructive, it was actually possibly making my work worse. And there was a piece of feedback you got, if I recall, from somebody kind of random who said, you shouldn't record your own audio book and you listened to them.

36:29Right. And then this is my book happier at home. Um, and somebody said, oh, you know, Gretchen shouldn't, you know, like we should have a professional actor read books. It's so much better. And this made sense to me. And I thought, well, yeah, I mean, who am I? Just some average. I'm just a writer. It would be a better experience for the listener to have a professional actor read it. And so when they asked for my next book, like, should you want to read it or do you want to have a reader? I said, oh, well, let's have a like, let's have a professional. and then everybody was like why aren't you reading your own book almost like it was laziness of on my part and i had done it deferring to it and then i realized and then when all these people were saying it i was like first of all why am i listening to this person i wouldn't take her advice why am i listening to her criticism i don't know who this is it got in my brain i didn't even question it like is this even correct it wasn't like somebody with a lot of experience and knowledge was suggesting it and yet it directed my behavior almost like almost without me realizing that that's what was feeding into my decision.

37:33So I feel like you want to make, you want to be open to criticism from people who know what they're talking about, but being too open to criticism can just can lodge in your brain and change your behaviors in ways that you might not even be aware of and would certainly not agree with. Yeah. And, and that we're allowed to filter. We are allowed to be the mechanism of what feedback we take in and what we say does not service. I was just interviewing another Google executive for, from a book. And if we were talking about feedback, she got early in her career. And she said, everyone's always said like, you, you move too fast, you move too fast.

38:06Um, you know, need to slow down and like taking all perspectives. And she's like, you know what? I got to a point where I realized that my moving so fast makes things happen so much more quickly than the average leader. And that I go with my gut and that I take chances and I take risks and sometimes I have to do some cleanup, but like, that's part of my, that's one of my superpowers is that I do move quickly and that I, I move with intention and then I move in a way that that's authentic to me. And I was like, I love that you just decided that that feedback no longer was relevant for you. And it's good to take it in a little bit.

38:36But in your example, it's like, no, just don't pay attention at all. In a lot of examples, I think you want to know like, okay, how much of the, where, where do I apply this in a way that's useful? And then where do I just say, okay, I can't throw out the baby with the bathwater and like move sluggishly now because people say I move too fast. You have to find the right happy medium. Well, and I also think it's back to your point about identity and re and possibly being willing to reframe because maybe people are telling you it's a bug and it's actually a feature because you're like, you're saying, you know, you're saying I'm too much of this, but actually that's my super strength.

39:07Um, and I remember, I think it was a poet was saying, people said that my rhyme wasn't good, which made me try to do better with rhyme instead of seeing I shouldn't be doing this at all. You know what I mean? So sometimes you have to be very careful who you listen to and how you process it. So yeah, you don't want to be open to just like drive by criticism. Yeah, especially with the negativity bias that plagues all of us, because that's just human nature. And there's tons of research on it. Okay, so it's a feature and not a bug. Great one-liner. You talk about in the book, some of your Muse machine, your Rolodex of all these wonderful nuggets.

39:46Will you share some of your favorites with us? Maybe even show us your Muse machine. So here it is. Okay. So this is the original Rolodex that gave me the idea because I loved it so much. Just like this old antique Rolodex from my father's office. And that's like actual Rolodex with people's contact information. Yes. No. And it was funny. Like I looked at my own contact information. It was like old addresses, you know, um, and birthdays and everything too. Absolutely. Um, and so I got a Rolodex, mine is a circular Rolodex and it literally like, you know goes like that um and what i found is that if you so i had i had this list of creative prompts that i've been gathering over the years and they really help if you're stuck like so they're just kind of these mysterious things that you have to sort of ponder and um and they don't necessarily you're like how does that even apply so here i'm just going to pick these at random i'm not even so one is take a take away the polish oh i like oh i like that um one of them is analyze how someone else approached a similar problem also good one is explore a paradox i love paradoxes yeah one is if you can't find something clean up that's literally true and metaphorically true oh this one we were just talking about you already know what to do there you go sometimes just reminding people.

41:10But when I created this, I was calling it Indirect Directions, which was a name I didn't like. So my first thing that I did with this was to pick a card to try to come up with a better title for it. And the card I picked was Find a Fresh Metaphor. And it took me several weeks, but then I realized Muse Machine, that was my metaphor. It's great. And as you were scrolling through one caught my eye um that's rearrange the pieces which oh great one too that one i use that one all the time all the time it's amazing how much you can unlock if you rearrange these a lot of people do this with index cards yeah all of these are like you could write a whole book about and i'm thinking about writing a handbook to go with this actually because i'm so enchanted with with these, these ideas.

42:02But, you know, one day. Is it more full or more empty? Do you have more space to write? Oh, yeah, I have more space to write. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. But I have, it's a whole ongoing process, you know, with creativity. It's like, the minute you think, okay, I'm done. You're like, oh, no, now I have a whole different take. Yeah. Let's, let's maybe cover one more point before we go into the audience Q &A. You just mentioned creativity. So let's tap on that for a moment. How have you used your five senses to be more creative as you wrote this book? Well, there are two things I would say that were really, really effective that I would suggest for other people to think about.

42:40One is if you're feeling creatively stuck and you sort of want to do something to shake yourself up, just go to a place that has a lot of materials that people use to create. And it doesn't have to be something that you know how to do. You can go to a music store, even though you're not even a sound person. You can go to an art supply store. You can go to a farmer's market. You could go to a craft store. You could go to a hardware store, like a home store. There's just something about being around materials. Like you can put your hands in like the screws or like brush the paintbrush tops, see all the things.

43:15It just kind of unlocks your brain. And it's very it's a very satisfying thing to do. it kind of overwhelms the senses. And, you know, I love nothing's better than a hardware store smell. You know, it just gives you, it sort of will shock your system and that will often unlock ideas. Another thing to do is give yourself some recess. So I did this by going to the Met. Like I'm very, very disciplined. And I knew the only way I could take goof off was to schedule time to goof off. So I go to the Met and while I'm there, I'm doing whatever I think about, I'm walking around. People are like, is this a meditation?

43:48This is, this is the opposite of meditation because I'm letting my mind off the leash. There is no, it's long, it's short. I'm doing whatever I want. And there's enormous research showing that taking breaks, giving yourself, um, you know, Virginia Woolf said, my mind works in idleness, um, to do nothing as often, uh, my most, what is it? I can't remember the exact quotation, but, um, so find a way to give yourself recess, whether that's doing the same thing every day, which is not for everyone, But just like looking for opportunities, going for a walk, just doing something where you allow. This is why people get good ideas in the shower or during a commute.

44:27Allow yourself to have this open time. And that means like you can't be like focusing on a podcast every single second that you're in the car or whatever, because you have to have time where. Guilty. Guilty. Yeah, but I mean, but it's like, but it's those downtimes where you kind of come up with unexpected associations, strange juxtapositions, things connect in a way that maybe, you know, you hadn't realized before. But you have to kind of make room for it because especially for people who are very disciplined and very productive, that downtime can feel like wasted time, but it's not wasted time.

45:06Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. All right. Let's take some audience questions here. Ah, interesting. Okay. So Victoria's asking about what advice you have for introverts who feel like they're almost too good of listeners and want to be more active participants in life and conversation. Thoughts on this one? That is a great question. So for being more active participants in life, one thing I would say is think about a great question always for something like this is to think about when have you succeeded in the past. So can you think of a work situation or a life situation where you felt like you were participating in the way that you would like to participate?

45:43So maybe this was a time where you were like having regular coffees with just one other person, or maybe this was a work team that for some particular reason you felt more comfortable talking about. Because a lot of times there are clues in the past for what we can do in the present. And so you can think about that. I don't want to get into my whole four tendencies personality framework because that's a whole other thing. But if you know your tendency, which you can find out at GretchenRubin.com slash quiz, if you are an obliger, which is the biggest category for both men and women, so it's very likely that you could be an obliger, think of your duty to be a role model for other people.

46:22This can sometimes help where it's like, I want to show that I will talk. And if I talk, then others will feel more free to talk. And by doing so that you kind of create external out of accountability, even for something that you want to do. For some people, even tracking can help. Like, I'm going to say at least one thing in every meeting, like, you know, we manage what we, what we monitor. So you might set yourself like, um, uh, aims to hit. Um, because sometimes, especially with things, with certain things, we think they should sort of be spontaneous and natural. But if something's important to us, it's really very helpful to think it through and how like how could we actually change that behavior?

47:09And often once we get started, it's not as hard to keep it up, but we might need to like really specifically think about how to cultivate a different kind of behavior. Yeah, I absolutely agree. And I might offer two additional quick things here. One is a definition and two is leadership definition. I would say maybe expand your definition of participation if it feels uncomfortable to raise your hand live in that team meeting and say something out loud because you're an introvert. Participation can also be over chat or can be to the group over email after the meeting, which might feel more comfortable.

47:38So that's the definition of participation. You might widen the aperture on that. You also might, I always encourage leaders, and if any leaders, I'm sure we have plenty of leaders on this call listening, a lot of the onus is on us as leaders to include people who are introverts. So a way to only include the extroverts is to say, we've got this big marketing project. It's really good for the business in your career. Raise your hand if you want it. Okay, great. Jimmy, it's yours, right? That only that bias is toward the extroverts in the room. But to say, we've got this big project, it's good for your career.

48:04It's good for the business. Think about it over this next week. Let me know over email by the end of the week. If you're interested, I'll then pick from the number of people who let me know and then pick based on that, that honors the introverts in the room who might need a little bit more time to process or to think or to ask questions and you're one-on-one with them before they can instantly raise their hand like an extrovert might. So I think that definitions can help the aperture and that leadership can play a really big role in bringing in the introverts and leading in a way that honors them as much as extroverts.

48:32That's great. That's a great, great suggestion. Next question. Pooja is asking how to use the five senses to manage and minimize distractions and ruminations at work. And how do you help get started with a task? Because we have a lot of distractions. Like we have an open plan at Google, right? Like lots of things. We've got music planning. We've got micro kitchens that are always tempting us to have a snack. How do we minimize some of those? Okay. So many thoughts. Okay. Just so one thing about the kitchen, because you just mentioned it, um, here is a great sort of hack. A lot of times if you're, if it's the middle of the afternoon and you're, you're bored or listless or restless, we go rummage through the fridge or the cabinets for a little hit sense, hit of taste, but you can substitute a different sense, um, and use that to get your hit of energy.

49:23So instead of what as effective, maybe in less calories. Well, yeah. And a lot of, you know, because, because turning to your sense of taste for some people could be a healthy treat, but for a lot of people, it's not a healthy treat. So they want to do something else. And so let's say you love music. Maybe this, you use that time to like explore new music and you save it for that time. Or like, I love the sense of smell. So I'll go off and smell fresh towels or I'll smell a big jar of pickles or something. If you love touch, maybe you have something that you love to touch or run your fingers through.

49:57And I'm not sure if this works because it just distracts you from, you know, like you're headed in one direction and this just gets you veered off. So that's the strategy of distraction. Or if it's that there really is something about the stimulation that the body is seeking new stimulation as a way to get a jolt of energy. And it doesn't matter if it's this sense or that sense. I'm not sure. It's probably both. Usually things are like both. Um, but whatever, for whatever reason, it really works. So like I have, uh, like I have all these smells, kind of these naturalistic, weird smells, and I'll just go smell a smell.

50:30And someone's like, why do you have that smell of black March? It's just smells like, like a cold wintery day in March. I'm like, I just smell it. You know, it doesn't do anything other than just be a smell. So this is, that's a way to handle something like getting distracted by your desire to snack. Uh, if that's like a, not a healthy habit. Um, one of the things like talking about the open office, one of the things that was fascinating to me in my study, the five senses is that the brain is especially attuned to people. Information about people is the most important information because people mean opportunity and people mean danger.

51:09And so if you're in a place that's got a lot of people, you're probably going to find that more distracting because those spaces, you know, we have special parts of the brain that light up with faces because we're always looking at faces and hearing. We're specially attuned to human voices. And so this kind of information is very compelling to the brain. And, and so you want to think about, okay, well, maybe I'll put myself where I can't, nobody's in my, I can't see people moving around in my sight line. Because even if I have my noise canceling headphones on, if I see people moving around, I'm going to, my eyes are going to dart up, like you just sort of can't help it.

51:49Another thing about, oh, yeah, interrupt. Yeah. You just mentioned something very basic, but sometimes we forget the most basic things. I would say this is common sense, but not always common practice. You said, even if you have your noise canceling headphones on, if you don't have noise canceling headphones and you're in an open office space, get noise canceling headphones or big headphones that, you know, help you focus. For years, I sat in an open office plan and didn't have headphones. And I was like, Jenny, just get yourself some headphones. Yeah. Well, and it's interesting. So now turning to sensory surround, auditory surroundings.

52:21So one of the things is if you're trying to focus, people really benefit from different environments. So there's like, for example, so Jenny, I would love to know, do you want silence? Do you want a busy hum, like a coffee shop or like a crowded cafeteria? Do you want white noise, brown noise, pink noise? Do you want music with words? Or do you want music without words? What do you want if you're trying to focus? I want total silence or brown noise. And I think you mentioned the book, you like pink noise, right? Which I want to check out because I never thought about doing anything but brown noise on my app.

52:55But like in, in this office and I am fortunate enough to work in an office and because I like silence, I can close the door. And I know that's a very fortunate situation because a lot of Google, you know, is, is out on the floor. Um, but like, there's this, the air conditioning unit, it like has this little rattle and hum and it comes on and off. And every time it comes on, I'm like, I can't focus from this tiny little, the tiniest, tiniest little hum. So silence. Yeah. I like silence too. I like silence or second is busy hum. But I, but I, and I went through this period and I read about it in the book, how I had, I was just craving silence so much.

53:33I kicked my family out of the apartment so I could just be home alone. But what I realized is it wasn't actual silence that I was craving. It was human silence. It was just, it was the sound of people talking. And so it's very like, so people have very different auditory preferences. And that's why I am not a fan of like, let's have music playing because that'll make everybody energetic or here's some research showing that people are more creative and productive if there's jazz playing. I'm like, that might be true for most people. That might be true for a particular person, but it might not be true for you.

54:03And hey, data point of one is the data point I care about. And so it's really helpful to know what is best for you. So as much as you can within your control, you can create that environment. Or if you're working with other people, you can talk through it, not as like one person's right, one person's wrong, but given that we need to create an environment where we all thrive. How do we, I mean, I remember, and then like, and then, so there's, there's clearing clatter and there's also clearing clutter. Um, I think this is a big thing and I don't think there's an easy solution to it for the open office.

54:33Um, I remember going into somebody, uh, and they had had like a Halloween contest for like decorating different areas. And like, one was like the beach and one was like Southwest and it was very cool. And they were so excited about it. And I was like, I could never work here. It was just like too much for me, you know, to, it was overwhelming. And so again, it's like understanding, like some people find that really energizing and like the creative juices are flowing and there's all this buzz and profusion and that other people are like, okay, wow, that is way too much. Um, so just to be aware of like, how can you get where you need to be and how do we create environments where everyone can thrive given that we have to cooperate.

55:17Yeah. And what's in your control and what's out of your control. Exactly. Always good to consider. Next question. Christy is asking, ah, interesting. Okay. So did you explore the five senses as it relates to the four seasons? I love the season so much, but sometimes feel, she feels so cut up in every day that she misses out on the full experience. Thoughts on how senses relate to seasons, Gretchen. Oh, a hundred percent. And I so agree. It's like winter is over and you're like, I never stopped to appreciate it. Or like, oh, spring and the park is full of all these trees with flowering blossoms, but I'll go tomorrow.

55:54I'll go tomorrow. I'll go tomorrow. And then it's over. I absolutely thought about the four seasons and really wanting to experience the four seasons, making sure that I got outside every single day. I'm really trying to experience what every season had to offer. So things like buying paper, white narcissus flowers in the wintertime when it's a very, you know, very associated with wintertime. I was just, but I'm still, here I am. I just wrote this book. It comes out today. And I just today was thinking, I love hyacinths beyond all things. I love the smell of hyacinths. I kept saying to myself, I should buy a hyacinth and bring it back and have it in my office.

56:38So my whole office feels like hyacinth. And all of a sudden they've just vanished. It's like I missed hyacinth season. So I think this is something where every season you have to say, how do I, how do I really drink up everything that the season offers and not let it pass me by? Because it does, it passes so fast. You think it's going to be winter forever and then it's over. This is for the Muse machine. And this is a freebie. seize the season seize the season there you go there you go the days are long but the years are short yeah did you say that originally i didn't realize that was you it is right so here's the thing i remember thinking of that like i remember playing with the words and doing it somebody has said to me like no i read this other source i have to say it's not the most original idea because it's like one of these paradoxes where nothing's more expensive than something free.

57:35Nothing's freer than free. Nothing's more expensive than free. Probably many people have said that. I remember thinking it up for myself, but sometimes people have the same idea. So I did think it up, but I don't know that I'm the first person to think it. It's a great line. And I invite everybody else listening right now to credit it to you as okay i did originally i thought of it like i you know had the like sweat pouring down my face to get it right it's great it's great i mean very applicable to parenting very applicable to life to the seasons yeah so true i know well gretchen what a total delight to have this conversation with you and to think more about the five senses Here are a couple of things I took away.

58:21You can tap into each of these five senses in ways that both cheer you up and calm you down. And for people like you and me, sometimes we need a little bit more to calm us down. If we tend to live in our head a little bit, I think we're cut from the same cloth in some ways. You can mute yourself in meetings as a very practical tactic to listen more and to deeply understand. And you've said, listen with your whole body and make sure that you're moving your phone away from arm's reach so that you can really give your full attention to the person you're speaking with. Ketchup gets a bad rap, but it's highly complex.

58:56And and take away the polish. Take away the polish. so as you go out on on this book launch week i hope that you take away any polish that you that you expected for yourself for everything going perfectly and know that there'll be mistakes and bumps in the road and delayed flights and you know wardrobe that you know was the wrong wrong outfit that you meant to pack so putting a sharpie like putting a sharpie against my skirt which i've done before yeah for that for that well thank you so much what a true pleasure to have this conversation with you. And, and thank you from, from the bottom of my heart for all the ways you've helped me.

59:34And, and hopefully we can continue to, to stay connected as I enter this journey and you continue to write more and more incredible books that helps so many people. Well, thank you so much. I so enjoyed the conversation. Thanks for listening. You can watch this episode and tons of other great content at youtube.com forward slash talks at Google. Talk soon.

59:59Thank you.