Learn How You Can Become Successful by Turning Setbacks into Opportunities w/ Mike 'C Roc' Ciorrocco | The Big Success Podcast

0:28Everything is a decision. Mike Sirocco, C-Rock, his ability to help you lean into who you are, find out who you are, what's your mission, where do you want to go in life, opinions versus advice. You'll learn all this and more today on the Big Success Podcast. C-Rock, what is your definition of success? Success to me, by the way, Brad, I got to tell you, man, I always love talking to you and I want to thank you for having me on the show today, man. It means the world to me. I'm humbled to have the opportunity. And, uh, you know, success to me is finding out who you are, man, and leaning into it unapologetically, because I think too many people aren't doing that.

1:06And we don't know who people are a lot of times when we're interacting with them. And so there's a lot of conflict and chaos that happens. And so I'm a big, I'm a big guy on clarity and, and getting rid of confusion and chaos. And I think confusion and chaos is stemming from people not really knowing who they are. So, and they can't even be themselves until they know who they are. So that's success to me, man. So is it, has it always been that way though? How did you like, did you define it? That is like, you know, when you talk about success as a kid for you was just, you know, surviving parents and traumas and stuff like that.

1:38How did it evolve into that definition? Well, because as a kid, when I was going through a lot of brokenness, a lot of people around me, drug addicts, alcohol, you know, abuse, uh, divorce, all that stuff. Right. I was watching people and how they were reacting to different things. And I always tried to be myself, but I found I had to walk on eggshells a lot. I had to walk on eggshells a lot by, I knew people were living a life that they were sharing a story. They would talk a story of why they were living a certain way and things happening to them. And then they would experience it. They were causing and creating their future.

2:10And I could see it young as a kid, I would call it out and then they would be resentful towards me or they wouldn't want to be around me. And I noticed that. And I noticed, okay, I'm being myself. So I got to walk on eggshells. And it was just like this big, or if I was living in my house with my stepmother and I was in an abusive situation, it was like everything was a short fuse or very unpredictable. And I always felt like I had to manipulate to get on her good side and all this, but then I wasn't being myself. And so it started as a young age and it just evolved up until the point where it came to a head.

2:41Back in 2018, I had a successful company and it just fell apart. It crumbled. and I was identifying that this years and years with this company and branding this company out there and marketing and not anything about me, C-Rock or anything. It was all about the company. That's what I do. I run this company. And when it crashed, I felt like I had nothing and I was lost. And so from that point on, I told my wife at that moment, I had a moment where I broke down in my kitchen. The weight, I felt like, again, a lot of this is manufactured in our minds, right? This weight and his pressure. She's not even real.

3:14And I just said, man, I'm never, ever going to do that again. I'll never identify with a company or brand. I'm going to be me and the companies and brands that I identify with whatsoever, really just my vehicles. So I can hop in and out of them. Love it. Where do you think, Mike, you chose success as your performance standard in life as to who you wanted to be? Well, you know, I think watching as a young kid, my dad be successful, My grandfather and uncles having their own businesses and watching how they didn't have to answer anybody but their customers, but they got to choose their customers.

3:46You know, they weren't a prisoner to it. And then I watched my mom who worked for DuPont for years and my stepfather worked for DuPont for years and they, they controlled their schedule in a way. And it seemed like they had to do it. And so I was watching this as a kid, the contrast, and I was comparing the two and I'm like, this is the way I want to go, you know, but, but in school, Brad, we were taught to, we you needed to go and get good grades, obviously go to college because you can get out of college and get a good salary. And so there was a conflict there. But I just knew that I always wanted to be the puppet master, so to speak.

4:18I never wanted people to have strings on me. And so I just always have been working to that vision is eventually to be in control and be a cause and creator of my world. So buddy, what is your like formula for success then? What are the ingredients that make someone successful. So I, this is so, this is so easy for me nowadays. And when I say it, I'm almost like, oh man, they want something complicated, but really it's look, I mean, I can tell people that they will live with an intention in their life, whether they like it or not, it's either theirs or someone else's. So really the formula that I've created with this and I've seen, I, maybe I didn't create this, but it's the one I put out, uh, is, is getting really clear.

4:59What do you want in life? What do you want freedom? Do you want to be able to, like today I was hanging out with my kids golfing in the morning and I ran the boardwalk before that. I didn't have to go to work and go to meetings early in the morning. I did what I want because I know I'm structuring my schedule. I get my work done. I work my ass off, but I'm in control of it. So knowing what you want, what kind of life, what do you want to be doing? Who do you want to be doing it with? And once you do this and you set that intention, it gives your attention direction. Now we're working with our brains, right?

5:28We're working with neuroscience. Our brains now are told what to pay attention to, and that validates everything that supports that intention. And that's where you start to create this world. You did it yourself. I just interviewed you recently, a great interview. And you caused and created. You told me early on you had this big vision of what you wanted to do. And you had no idea how to do it, if it could really work or not. But you did it. And that's what happened is your attention got on everything and started validating everything why you were going to be successful at it. So is there a lot of people talk about failure being part of success?

6:01What's your theory on the relationship between failure and success? Yeah. So I fail like all the time and I always fail because I'm never getting to where I want to go as far as like the limit, right? Look, I could make millions and millions of dollars, but if that's the case, I know I'm capable of more. So I just always look at it as it's always data collection, always. And failure really is like we set an expectation and we didn't meet the expectation. So that's labeled as a failure. Really, we're all in this journey. We're trying to figure things out. Anytime you've started a business, you guys get a business plan, you get an idea of what you want, and then you go at it.

6:36And every day you fail at something, if you want to call it failure. I don't even like the term. But at the end of the day, you're just going on this journey, trying this, try that. That work, lean into it. That didn't work, scrap it. Okay? And so for me, it's data collection. I love collecting data. The more data I can collect, the more I can know, determine, make predictions, and gain confidence. You said something there that I've never heard anyone relate. Failure is just not meeting your expectations. We set an expectation, and then we don't achieve it, and we call that failure. If I'd expected to achieve less, I would have had success.

7:14So how did you learn that? Or is that something that – tell me more about that theory because I think that's amazing. Well, you know, I just started to pay attention to when my kids were upset about something or if I got upset about something and I started to analyze it. And I'm like, what am I really upset about? Or what are you really upset about? Well, I expected this. I wanted this and I didn't get it. Okay, so if you didn't expect that and didn't want that, then you may not be upset. Is that the truth? Okay. So now we've identified this. Now we know, like, I know for a fact that I pay attention to emotions and where your emotions support you the best.

7:50Great things happen when you stay up tone emotionally. Everything always works out. And then as you go down, it gets more destructive and things start to turn against you actually. Hearts will turn against you when you get lower in emotions and upset and all this. And I started thinking, well, emotions are really a decision. And you can have emotion come in, but then what do you do with it? How do you correct it as fast as possible and get back to that high-end emotion because you know things work out. So when you identify the fact that you're expecting things, you get upset when it doesn't work, Hey, let's just understand that we're going to try things.

8:22It may not go as we expect, but what are we going to do about it? I coach softball, Brad, and these girls are 11 and 12-year-olds, right? And I got this one young lady. She's a pitcher. She's one of the top players and top pitchers, but she gets so upset if she has a bad inning. If she doesn't hit the ball and get on base, she gets so upset. She comes back. She throws things and cries. Now, I'm dealing with – obviously, it's little ladies now, and they're going through a certain stage of their life too with emotions and hormones. so I'm trying to figure this out right and the thing I found that works obviously talking to her about this emotional thing like everything you want everything to work out right she goes yeah all right well the only thing like place you can be emotionally for everything to work out is up here when you get down here it's going to get worse do you want to get worse no okay so let's work don't stand up here but the other thing besides education that I found works is when she gets into that thing she strikes out she hit grounds out she comes back to the dugout right before she loses her shit, I say, now, what are you going to do about it?

9:18And ask her a question. And now the tides turn. Now what I see is like, she's like, ah, they're going to, they're going to be in for it. When I go back out to pitch this next inning, watch this. And she sits in there, she starts yelling for her teammates and all this. And it's just a little, little switch in perspective. Yeah. I love that. Keep your emotions up to the top. Let's get to a leading yourself then. And when you to lead others, you got to lead yourself is one of the things I see you teach and, and hammer home to people. Give me more about that. How do we lead ourselves? Well, first of all, why lead yourself?

9:50And then how do we? Yeah, well, first of all, that came to me when I started watching people in my organization and I'm expecting them to hold people accountable that they had responsibility for. And they just weren't. And I was like, what is going on here? And then I started to study it more. And I'm like, okay, I see what's happening here. They're not even doing what they're supposed to be doing. They're not holding themselves accountable. But that falls on me. So I started looking at myself. Am I holding myself accountable? And when I started to realize this, I'm like, I'm not, I'm not doing what I say I'm going to do.

10:19I'm preaching a lot to other people. And then when they look at me, am I executing that same thing? That's unacceptable. That's, that's out of alignment. That's in, you know, not an integrity and in things people don't worry. Like they don't really understand the word integrity, Brad integrity. When you're talking about a building and it's sitting on four pillars, if one of those pillars is weak, that building's out of integrity. So I started thinking like, I don't want to be a building that can be knocked over easily. I want to be unstoppable, indestructible. I want to be like just a force. So how do I do that?

10:49Well, I got to make sure I'm integrity. I got to make sure my foundation's good. Okay. So now we're going back to looking at the basics, like spiritual, mental, physical, diet, finance, all this stuff's got to be in alignment. And I got to be in check because if I don't be in check, something's not going to work where I want to go. And then I'm going to have those moments where things aren't going as I expected. And I'm going to be pissed off or say it's a failure when it really comes down to the beginning of that foundation. So foundational, that's where it starts. And if you're not and you're having, we're all human, so we're going to have struggles.

11:19But just, I believe that assessment is the leader to excelling and elevation. And the fact of the matter is, is that if you can assess more often, you can change and correct faster. So most people don't correct or assess at all, right? Then there's others that do it once a year at New Year's Day. And then there's others that do it more often. I like to do it every day. At the end of the day, I assess. Now, it's not me writing down things all the time, but it's me going through my mind. How was my language today? How was my attitude today? Did I level my wife? Did I tell her she's beautiful? Did I pay attention to the kids and actually listen?

11:59And then I go through, what kind of money did I spend today? I go through this whole thing in my mind so I can correct it the next day. And that's being a leader. So go back to the stuff then. You had to hold, so let me just full circle this in my head. You had to hold yourself accountable so you could then hold them accountable so they could hold their people accountable. Is that, how did that play out, I guess? Yeah, exactly. So I have this, you know, one of my core values in myself and all my companies is leadership starts with me, right? So I just started noticing this. And so some of these guys were my friends I grew up with.

12:33I love them to death. We're off to different things now. We're in a new season. but I just notice and it's very difficult when you work with good friends but I just noticed that they and by the way before I say this I got to preface this this is on me this is 100 % my responsibility I take full responsibility for this but I noticed that they weren't doing what I needed to do and I was banging my head against the wall is it our friendship and they just think they can get away with it we're partners and they don't and I was just what is this problem then I started to realize they're good dudes they want the best they maybe they don't know And so it just played out where I was just like, I got to fix something and I can't fix them.

13:06I got to fix myself. So until I fix myself, I can't really look at anybody else in my company. So I need to step up. So I had a conversation with my wife. I said, listen, I'm going to go through a phase here where I'm going to work on myself. And it might be some stuff that might be weird to you. It might not sit well with you. I may come home and get so excited that I found something at work to better myself. And I might try to share it with you and you might get it. But at the end of the day, I got to do this. And I went on a journey of self-discovery, self-assessment, analysis, and started figuring out areas I needed to work on myself to become the best version of myself.

13:42Because I have this thing that everybody's watching me. Not like I'm different than anybody else. Everybody's always watching us. That's the way I look at it, right? And so if eyes are always on me, even a closed door, I got to make sure that I'm doing what I would want to encourage people with, that people would be inspired with. So I just took this approach and it changed everything. And I've accomplished more in the last four years of my life than I have in the prior 40-some. So when I read Rocket Fuel and that whole theory of becoming unstoppable, in fact, if you could just take people through that theory first and then we'll discuss and we'll break it down.

14:21Yeah. So when I was younger, I don't remember my parents together. And I ended up living with my dad after he got remarried. My mom was moving on to her third marriage. And I moved in with my dad at eight years old. And I witnessed some things in that house that no kid should ever witness. I was treated a certain way. No kid should ever be treated and worked my way through it. But eventually I just decided I had to get out. I started to realize this thing where this isn't normal. And so my mom filed court papers. I didn't tell my dad or stepmom about it. I come home from school one day. My dad had these court papers in his hand.

14:53And I was like, oh boy, here we go. This is going to, shit's going to hit the fan here. So I went back to my room and I was a 10 years, probably a 10 year old at this point. And my dad was my hero, Brad. He was a hard worker. He has his own business, masonry business. Used to carry a lot of$100 bills around his pocket. We're Italian, so that's what we do. And he used to show me money all the time. I loved, I would love the $100 bill, the old Benjamin Franklin's. Oh man, how do I get those? And I just looked up to my dad, hard worker, like rough hands, big forearms, always tan from being out in the sun.

15:24And, uh, you know, I was a little scared of him to, you know, coming back to the room with these court papers in his hand. And he said, it says here, you want to move back in with your mother. What's the deal with this? I can't understand this. She's, you know, got men coming in and out of the doors every day, you know, whatever, no money. You're going to be living on a, you know, corner one day. What are you doing? Like, we got everything you need here. Now he didn't see that that fact that there was no love in this house, so much conflict and drama and everything. and uh i said you know i i don't really want to discuss it i i decided it's it is what it is and he said okay if that's the case and he took this wide 100 bills out that i always looked up to him for he peeled one off crumpled it up and he threw it at me he said here you're going to need this when you're living on the streets with your mother one day and this is an incident at 10 years old about 30 some years ago that that that really defined my life i was living off of this this thing that happened because what i did was at first i didn't i didn't i was a little scared at first.

16:16I was like, what did I do? But then very quickly, something went off and I'm like, I'm not going to need that money. I'll show you. And I became a, I'll show you kind of person. But what would come from that is I identified this when I got to 40 years old, I identified why everything that happens in my life, that there's like a setback, a downfall. How is it that I'm possibly taking everything and I'm turning it into fuel? There's a concept here. And so I realized that most people store things in their trunk. When things bad happen to them, it's all energy they store it in their trunk it's very heavy weighs them down it might slow them down or stop them i was taking things and putting them in my fuel tank and if you take things and put them in your fuel tank instead you can convert it into rocket fuel and become unstoppable and that's what i continue to do i'm no i'm no uh you know uh stranger to bad things happen and i'm not going to be a stranger ever things are going to happen at the end of the day though i know at the end of the day no matter how long it takes as long as i keep going and i put it in the tank you can't i gotta be plucked from this planet to be stopped you know the taking it and putting it in as fuel to me was just this aha moment but i think it's even more important than that that every you know people say use it as a stepping stone or people throw bricks you know build your fortress all of those sorts of things what is it mentally in your head, Mike, that do you actually just say, hey, I'm going to turn that into fuel?

17:41Do you actually think that way? Or did you have to do that in the beginning? Go, I'm going to use that? How did you get there? Because I know some people are going to be listening to this going, I need to do that. I want to follow how Mike did that. Yeah. Well, first of all, knowledge, right? Looking at things a different way gives you knowledge and knowledge is power. We've heard this. It really is. If you know something, you now can make a decision based on that knowledge. So if I know that bad things are going to happen. I know that. So I know that now I've been informed now by C-Rock on Brad Sugar's show that I have a decision, that I can actually convert that energy into something positive.

18:17I can learn from it. It's actually quantum physics. It goes down to the very small. It's all energy. You just determine how you want to use that energy with intention. And so it's knowledge, number one. Number two, when I was growing up, I played football. I always wanted to play football as a kid. And my dad, they didn't let me. And I got to my mom's house. I turned 11, got to play PB football and I was not the biggest kid. And so I had to really, when I got my ass kicked a couple of times, I had to step back up and say, you know what, I'll show you. And I had this attitude all the time. Like I'll show you.

18:45Well, that was something bad happening. And I got to show you something now because I can't end this life or I end this segment or whatever it is with that outcome. It's unacceptable. So really it's that, I really feel like everything's a decision. People just don't give themselves enough credit for the power of their decisions, which are intentions. And once you realize that power, the universe almost listens to you too good. Because if you say things that you shouldn't be saying, you're going to see that. It's just, you know, the way it works. So one of the things you said right at the start of the show today was success is finding out who you are and leaning into it versus, you know, defining yourself by what you do.

19:27Give me more on that. How do we, what do we do? First of all, how do we get away from that or do we need to? I guess that's the big question. Yeah. Well, there's so many people now, especially with social media getting bigger and bigger. And then there was social audio with people just, people just want to appear better and bigger and more successful than they actually are. Instead of saying, Hey, this is where I am. I could use some help and I could get to this next level with this help. Instead of doing that, they, they choose to lie, which holds them back and keeps them back. And it's not powerful because you feel like you feel like an, an imposter that word thrown around a lot.

20:01You feel like an imposter. You don't feel like you've actually done anything and you're always comparing yourself to other people to see what you need to lie about. It's unacceptable to me. People create their own imposter syndrome with their social media. Comparing everything. Yeah. Comparing. And so, so at the end of the day, if you really identify what your non-negotiables are, what your standards are going to be and say, okay, here's where I am now. This is who I am. I want to set up a mission of where I want to get here. What's it going to take to get there? I got to be honest and authentic with myself and the relationships I have.

20:33And so that when people meet me, like we have a call here and if we meet in person, I don't want you to be disappointed in me and what you thought I was versus who I actually am. I got to make sure that now you know. And same thing with pushing social media out. I want people to be like inspired by my social media, right? And if I have a problem, I share it on there and being vulnerable, transparent, they can relate to me. But then when they meet me in person, the only thing that they're surprised about is how tall I actually am. I can't help that. Okay. I'm five, seven. All right. But people think I'm six foot, but I don't want them to be disappointed with this guy.

21:04Like, Oh, I thought he was like nice. And I thought he was successful and I thought he was caring and, and he's just not, he's a prick. You know, like I've, I've had that experience with other people before. Yeah. Yeah. I remember years and years ago, someone said to me, you know, you put a bit too much on your social media and, and you know, you're, you're out there and people see you at a club having a drink and like that's who I am I'm not gonna be some fake guy on this thing just to impress people I don't even know I mean I'm just putting I put photos on social media so my mom can see what I'm doing with the kids that's my starting point of everyday like you know grandma in Australia can see what's going on so how do we find out who we are then Mike, what do we got to do?

21:49What's the process or what's the steps or what, what's something we can do to get clear on who we are? This is so easy to, uh, some, so many people say, I don't know if I got to find out my why Simon Tinnick. I don't, how do you figure that out? I don't know. It's so hard. Well, first of all, they're talking themselves into it being hard. Okay. First of all, second of all, I, this is the easiest thing. What lights you up? What excites you? Like what gets you? Like what, if you, if you wake up in the morning, you wouldn't like want to lay in bed, you're like, man, I can't wait for this day to start.

22:19My daughter had golf camp today and I went out jogging early, came back and I thought she'd still be in bed. And she was up dressed, ready to go in her awesome new golf outfit because she loves golfing. So that's part of who she is. That's part of her mission. That's something that she can lean into. So we just got to sit down and think about it. What lights you up? What excites you? And then once you find that thing, then you start expanding outward from that thing to see, okay, what could I do to identify a mission that would be surrounding this thing? For me, I love coaching girls softball.

22:51It's like, it's the most fulfilling thing in the world. It's on a local level. Sometimes I thought I had to go global. And I thought about this when I wanted to get known, I was like, I got to get known globally. And I thought I, you know, my companies are all going to be global international and this and that. But then I started thinking, man, this, this is so fulfilling coaching these girls and seeing the, the advancements that they make from the start of the season to the end. And I know it's local, small little town. And now my idea is, okay, well, we can go bigger with this. I'm going to start a travel team and a performance center.

23:20And so now like I just identified something for me myself, what lights me up? So paying attention to it, you know? So you mentioned a word in there that I think is important, taking that what lights you up and creating some form of a mission from it. What does that look like? How does that work? What do we do? So I believe that everybody should identify a mission that starts with all people are. I learned this from a mentor of mine. Shout out to Richard Dolan. He was a great guy for me to spend a lot of time with during the pandemic. And he said, all people are. If you want it for all people, you can have it for yourself.

23:57So I identified a mission with all people are unstoppable to live in the life of their dreams. I don't know about you, but I want to live the life of my dreams. And if I'm living the life of my dreams, it's going to excite me. Other people want to empower others. All people are empowered. Other people want to help people make more money and scale their businesses. All people can scale their businesses as big as they want them. So it just depends on what you want and what lights you up. But when you do that, then put all people are. And then all of a sudden you start like really thinking about this every day.