⛸️ “$200K per Olympian” — Billionaires philanthropy splurge. Tesla’s young avocado tree. Phia’s $100M fashion butler. +Cursing Promotion Hack

0:28This is Nick. Jack's wearing a vest is T-Boy is going to the Starbucks investor day today. We're seeing the CEO in person. True. Nick, when I had to register, they asked me, what's your favorite Starbucks drink? I went super like basic and frugal. I said a venti Pikes roast with room for cream. Did you say drip coffee? I did. I said drip coffee. Just give me the decaf wrap. Jack, three stories for today's T-Boy. What do we got on the pod? For our first story, some rich dude announced he's paying the USA Olympic athletes$200 ,000 each. Oh, and JP Morgan Bank of America and Nicki Minaj are donating to the Trump investment accounts for kids.

1:06What we're noticing? Billionaires are donating more than ever, but in a very particular way. Yes, they are. For our second story, Tesla just reported their worst earnings ever by far, and yet the stock rose close to an all-time high. Because investors think Tesla's like a young avocado tree. Again. And our third and final story, Bill Gates' daughter just raised money at a$180 million valuation. Cha-ching! for a self-driving shopping app. Because a dress that's$200 at one store is 80 bucks at another. But besties, before we hit that wonderful mix of stories. Oh my, your vest hit my eye. I'm very excited for Starbucks Investor Day, by the way.

1:42The best thing you can do for your career, apparently, it's to c*** your c*** and c*** over that c***. We repeat, if you're trying to maximize your income or close that deal or snag a promotion, then drop a big old fat c***. This story is brought to us by Yeti Lloyd Brotman, who sent us a study from American psychologists on the big benefits of cursing. Jack, let's jump in T-boy style. What was the wild cursing experiment, man? Scientists asked 300 people to hold a plank as long as they possibly could. But it turns out those who cursed held the plank the longest. And no, yelling euphemisms like, ah, sugar or fudge, that did not count.

2:22Jack, you had to say the real offensive four-letter curse word. And we've all been there. we know that swearing is a sign that you're not holding anything back. Yeah, the ultimate expression of maximum effort is dropping that word. So we're going to make the leap and say that if cursing gets you to hold a plank longer, then it probably gets you to do more crunches. Then it probably works for crunching spreadsheets too. So besties, in your next performance review or one-on-one with that boss, suggest that change to the employee handbook. Because profanity can be profitable. Because the secret to getting ahead in business, what is it, Jack?

2:55F***. That's in our three b**** stores. 15 years before this song, two boys from the Northeast met in the dorm. They had an idea to cause a cultural storm. It's the best one yet, but the best is the norm. Jack Nick, that's it. I don't even think they need to practice. 50%, that's a fat tip. T-Boy City on your at list. If you know, you know, cause we ready to go. We can't wait no more, so just start the show.

3:24Start the show. First, a quick word from our sponsor.

3:34So yeah, he's Jack's instituted a new business model for his Airbnb hosting. And Jack, what is it? Here it is. Host equals guest. Yes. I funnel all my revenue from being a host on Airbnb into one bank account and use that same bank account to book travel for myself. Basically, it's Jack's host guest bank account for when he hosts and when he's a guest somewhere else. When I lived in the City Neck, every time my apartment was available on Airbnb, it would get booked like that. I mean, think about how often are you away from home? You got the bridesmaid, you got the shower, you got the bachelorette, you got the wedding.

4:05That's three weekends away just for one wedding right there. Plus, you got to visit your mother. Naturally. Well, that's a lot of potential hosting that you could be doing on Airbnb. Let someone else stay at your place while you're away. Take that host money and spend it when you're a guest somewhere else. Have a business model like me. If you want to travel more, hosting more is a great way to make it happen financially. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at airbnb.com slash host. Top hats, baseball hats, Von Dutch hats. We wear so many hats on this podcast. Honestly, we're not great at all of them.

4:35No, we've been avoiding hiring someone to wear those hats instead of us, especially the Von Dutch one, because hiring and training can take forever. Well, I'm proud to say that we are hiring right now at T-Boy, and this is a job for Indeed Sponsored Jobs. Because sponsored jobs posted directly on Indeed are 95 % more likely to report a hire than non-sponsored jobs. So besties spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes. Less stress, less time, more results. When you need the right person to cut through the chaos, this is a job for Indeed-sponsored jobs.

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5:52Besties, whip out the calendars. You got one week and one day to the Olympic Games opening ceremony, right, Shaq? One of the rare moments when all Americans can root for the same thing. Rangers fans, Devils fans, united for Team USA. And yet, despite receiving the most medals every year, our government does not pay Team USA a dime. Some Swede is going to comment that they won more medals than Team USA one time. 78. But still, big names like Lindsey Vonn and Michaela Sheffern, they get big sponsorship money. But no-namers who are doing luge, they have to live off$1 ,000 to$5 ,000 a month stipends.

6:28I mean, Jack, remember the pro curler taught us how to curl during my bachelor party? He was teaching bachelor parties how to curl when he wasn't at the Olympics. Because he got paid so little on Team USA. You see, besties, athletes do get paid by the U.S. Olympic Committee if they win medals, but most don't get that medal bonus. So for most athletes, health insurance is the most valuable compensation they receive for being on Team USA. The result? Most Team USA athletes have part-time day jobs totally unrelated to their sport, unless it's side hustling with bachelor parties for a crew. Home Depot and Dick's Sporting Goods apparently hire a lot of Team Olympics people.

7:03But here's the news. All of that is changing thanks to a$100 million donation from billionaire financier Ross Stevens. Ross Stevens. Not to be mistaken with Stephen Ross, who is another billionaire financier. Side note, if you work in finance like we used to, your life goal is not managing director, It is financier. If you are named a financier, it means you have won a capitalism. That's true. But starting with these Olympics and these Paralympics, all Team USA athletes will get $200 ,000 for each Olympic Games that they compete in. But Jack, could you sprinkle on some fine print context for us, please?

7:37Yeah, Nick, you won the game of capitalism for reasons like this. The first$100 ,000 comes 20 years after the Games they plan or when they turn 45. The other$100 ,000 comes upon death to take care of the athletes' families. So it's really more of a safety net than a salary. But besties, Jack and I gotta pause the pod for a sec. Have you noticed more billionaires are announcing giant donations than ever before? We've noticed it. First, it was the railroad billionaire Timothy Mellon, who donated$130 million to paid troops during the shutdown. Then it was Michael Dell, who donated over$6 billion to America's children via the new Trump accounts.

8:11And then it was Ray Dalio who donated to all Connecticut children via the new Trump accounts. And now Stephen Ross, I mean Ross Stevens, is donating to America's Olympic athletes. And that's not all, folks. JP Morgan and Bank of America announced yesterday they're matching the$1 ,000 government contribution to their employees' children's Trump accounts. And a dozen other CEOs have announced the same thing, matching contributions to those kids' Trump accounts as well. And guess what? Nicki Minaj. Watch out. She announced yesterday she's donating up to 300 grand to fund the Trump accounts of her music fans.

8:46Pause the pod. Her menagesty has dropped her anaconda cash on kids' investing accounts, Jack. Every day I'm seeing a new very rich person announce a flashy targeted donation to something. This is why Jack and I are flashing our Venmo QR codes on the screen. So Jack, what's the takeaway for our buddies over in America's financier billionaires? This is red, white, and blue philanthropy. That's pro-market and pro-competition. Besties, philanthropy never been hotter among the billionaire class than right now. Remember the proposed ballot initiative in California to tax billionaires? That faced hot resistance from the private jet crowd.

9:24But interestingly, if allowed to do so freely to causes they love, billionaires seem to be giving away more money than ever before. And Nick and I have a few reasons why. First, there's been unbelievable wealth creation in the stock market the last few years. Second, there's consensus that in the AI era, riches must be shared. They can't be concentrated among a few individuals. There's also probably a feeling among billionaires in the Trump era that they're more appreciated, so they're feeling more generous and open up their wallets. But mostly, we've noticed that all these donations have an Americana theme, have we not, Jack?

9:56Yeah, think about it. Billionaires love the stock market. Hence the Trump accounts. They love competition. Hence the Olympic donation. And they love troops. Hence the military donation. These billionaire donations smell like hot dogs and Budweiser. But they also smell like Wall Street and capitalism. Yeah, they do, Jack. And that's why we're calling this the golden era of billionaire philanthropy. It's red, white, and blue, pro-market and pro-competition. For our second story, Tesla just announced huge profit declines in their first full year of revenue shrinkage ever. But the stock rose almost to an all-time high.

10:33They're all-time highing. Because Tesla stock isn't a stock anymore. If you want to understand what's happening with Tesla, you got to realize it's a young avocado tree. But besties first, mark thy calendars. Because according to Financial Times reporting, Elon Musk has chosen the date of SpaceX's future IPO. What is it going to be, Jack? June 28th, because that's Elon's birthday. June 28th, Elon's birthday, my dad's birthday, and my mother-in-law's birthday, Jack. I should point that out. Really? Yeah. It's also right around the time Jupiter aligns with Venus, according to Elon. Yeah, no joke.

11:05SpaceX is actually planning their IPO around the Zodiac when Jupiter aligns with Venus. I'm not sure that's technically Zodiac, but I'm picking up what you're putting down. You know what? That's classic Pisces of you, Jack. Classic Pisces. And you know what, besties, it makes sense. But Jack, how about Elon's first company that already IPO'd, Tesla? All right, I'm still finishing that Pisces comment. That is, yesterday, Tesla announced what was on paper their worst earnings ever by far. Oh, let's hit the numbers. Revenue, profits, cashflow all fell big. Other vehicles, the category that includes the Cybertruck, fell 48 % in the fourth quarter.

11:42Besties, let this sink in. Revenue for Tesla peaked more than two years ago. Their profits down 75 % in 2025. But guess what? Despite their worst quarter ever, Tesla stock rose after announcing earnings yesterday. Tesla stock hit an all-time high earlier this month. So you got to ask the question, why is Tesla all-time high-ing when sales and profits have been shrinking for two straight years? Well, here's the answer, Jack. Because revenue, profits, they don't matter for Tesla. The rules of Econ 101 do not apply. And we've actually been here before with Tesla. We have. You see, in the late 20-teens, Tesla was way more valuable on Wall Street than its core business justified.

12:21Back then, when Jack and I were covering Tesla's earnings like we still do today, you own Tesla stock, not because of the financials, but because of faith. Faith that Elon Musk would execute his master plan to scale electric cars and become way more profitable than any other car company. Well, you know what? He did it. Those who had faith in Elon's electric vehicle bet were rewarded. And now we're in that same scenario yet again. Except this time, the faith is that Tesla will transform from a car company into the leader of autonomy and robotics. Besties, sit down, stand up, and buckle up because what Jack and I are saying is Tesla's car business does not matter anymore.

12:58That's what Elon wants Wall Street to think, and Wall Street seems to agree. Because someday, you won't need to own a Tesla car. You'll just hail a cyber cab. And you know what, Jack? You won't even clean your dishes at home when you're there. You can just summon your Tesla Optimus Prime robot to do that for you instead. In fact, Elon announced yesterday that Tesla is ending their Model S and Model X luxury car program and converting that factory in California to just produce Optimus robots. This is like Netflix ending their DVD business. Tesla will not be making a major SUV anymore. But if you're still not understanding how it could be at all-time high stock prices when profits are down 75%, you gotta hear our takeaway.

13:40Because it's like our favorite analogy. Jack, what's the takeaway for our buddies over at Tesla? Tesla stock is a young avocado tree. You see, Yetis, if Tesla is an avocado tree and avocados are profits, then Tesla is not very fruitful right now. Toyota produces a 10 times bigger profit harvest than Tesla does. Toyota is way more fruitful than Tesla. Aha, but Toyota is an old tree. They're not gonna get any bigger. While Tesla is a young tree, they got a lot of growth ahead. So would you rather own an old fruitful tree like Toyota or a young tree with the potential to grow 10 times bigger like Tesla?

14:16That is the analogy that explains why Tesla is worth five times as much as Toyota despite being a fraction as profitable. All the conventional car companies, they're at their peak, post-peak, or has-beens. Jack, we might want to call an arborist. Like, I think that limb is dead. Do you see some rot over there? But if you believe Elon's story about autonomy and robots, then Tesla today is a sapling on the verge of blossoming into a mighty tree that will produce avocados like no tree ever has before. Like always ripe avocados. Besties, investors say Tesla stock is valuable because of its growth potential.

14:50But we'd say Tesla stock is valuable because it's like a young avocado tree. Now, a quick word from our sponsor. Monarch. When I had student debt, I tracked my progress on an Excel spreadsheet I manually updated each month. Oh, I was Jack a spreadsheet jockey because when he was paying off his student debt, Monarch didn't exist yet. Well, one year ago, I proudly killed that spreadsheet I'd been building for 12 years. RIP spreadsheet. Because Monarch is a way better solution. All your financial accounts are linked to Monarch. Every credit card, checking account, brokerage account, even our mortgages, live balances updated in real time.

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16:55For our third and final story, Bill Gates' daughter co-founded an AI self-shopping fashion app that just hit a$180 million valuation. Can AI find you at any outfit for the lowest price in the world? If it can, this is butlerfication. Now, besties, we know what you're thinking before we jump into the story. This is about nepotpreneurship, right? Like Bill Gates' daughter, her worst startup's worth millions of dollars. Well, let's give this idea a chance. It's a pretty great idea. It is, because Phoebe Gates and Sophia Chiani were roommates over at Stanford University, and they had a love-hate relationship with their closet.

17:31So last year, they launched an app called Fia. The first two letters of one of their names, the last two letters of the other's name. Fia is an AI shopping agent, basically a self-shopping wingman. Yeah, it's like a digital version of that friend who would actually go into all the changing rooms with you, unlike anyone else. And they raised an$8 million seed round from Kleiner Perkins, Haley Bieber, Sheryl Sandberg, and Kris Jenner, among others. Basically a cap table with the rare combination of Hollywood, Silicon Valley, and Bravo TV. Well, with that momentum, they just raised another$30 million to reach a$180 million valuation.

18:03And impressively, none of it from her dad, Bill Gates. Or her mom, Melinda Gates. And already, Fia has 1 million downloads and 6 ,000 retail partners on their e-commerce platform. They even launched a podcast to promote their business and have 2 million followers on social media. So they don't even have to pay for marketing. This is a business that Miranda Priestly would actually be interested in. And they're using the fashion world to pioneer a new concept that we call AI shopping arbitrage. Jack, could you sprinkle on some financial context for arbitrage, please? Arbitrage is a financial situation where you can profit off of a different price in different markets on the same product.

18:40For example, you can buy something for$50 over here because you know you can sell it for$100 over there. And the same opportunity exists for clothing if you're willing to do resale or secondhand. And if you have access to all the clothing apps out there, like a maxi floral print dress over at Anthropologie, right now that's going to cost you$200. But the Fia app will tell you that the same dress is available on Poshmark for$80, or on the RealReal for$75. You see, AI finds the cheaper version of the same dress. It's basically like queer eye for the straight guy meets the eye of Sauron. Or as they say, style meets sustainability, which Bill Gates would be proud of.

19:17But what Jack and I find fascinating is that it turns shopping into investing, right Jack? Because Fia also launched a product called Should I Buy This? which is an AI browser extension that can help you girl math your way into buying that item. Because you see the resale value of the clothes. Like, yeah, this coach handbag cost a thousand bucks, but it says you can sell it for 800 bucks on resale markets and the secondary values going up. That helps you justify the purchase because it kind of only feels like you're spending 200 bucks. I mean, Jack, I didn't buy the handbag. The data made me do it.

19:50So that's Fia's business model. One challenge, however, is behavioral. Right. Using an AI agent to find you the best item is efficient, but does it kill the joy of the treasure hunt and shopping in person? Another risk to the business? Sam Altman. Like Jack, you could ask FIA's AI to help find you the lowest price, or will you ask ChatGPT to do that? That's actually a risk for all these specialized AI apps. The big general AI apps do it too. What would Miranda Priestly do? So Jack, what's the takeaway for our buddies over at FIA? FIA represents the butlerfication of AI. Yetis, everyone is trying to find ways to use AI to optimize their lives.

20:28But you know what? It's actually kind of hard. The most common way, by far, is using it at work. You want to boost your productivity, save the company money so you can get promoted, or at least not fired. But in our personal lives, without the pressure of work productivity, you might be slower to adopt AI. But FIA represents what we call the butler segment of artificial intelligence. Ah, the butler segment where AI saves time and money on the activities that you already do. Like finding the same Rolex you've always dreamed of owning someday, but for 60 % lower price at that random e-commerce website in Belgium that you otherwise never would have found.

21:03Butlerfication of the economy, it'll start with activities like this, like shopping, and then we think it'll trickle down. Butlerfication. Using AI to make you feel like Bruce Wayne. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Jack, could you and that vest whip up the takeaways for us for the new Friday? Three more billionaires announced huge donations yesterday to baby stock accounts and to Olympic athletes. It's red, white, and blue philanthropy. Pro-market and pro-competition donations. For our second story, Tesla is ending its Model S and Model X production to focus on robots. After its worst quarter ever, Tesla, they're not producing many avocados yet, but just wait until this young avocado tree grows up.

21:43And our third and final story is Fia, the shopping wingwoman app that uses AI to find the lowest price on resale markets. They had a 180 million buck valuation, part of the butlerfication of AI. But besties, this pod's not over yet. Here's what else you need to know today. First, as expected, our central bank announced no change to interest rates. Meanwhile, Meta announced earnings that beat, and Microsoft announced earnings that missed. And on top of it all, the stock market's at a record high, while consumer confidence just hit a 12-year low. Wild economy yetis. Started sounding like a country music song.

22:16It is up, it is down, Jack. And second, sad day for comfy feet. Allbirds is officially closing all their brick-and-mortar shoe stores. Silicon Valley's favorite shoe was once worth$4 billion, but since the IPO, the stock has fallen by over 99%. They're now worth about$30 million. Never forget that first shoe store of theirs in Soho, by the way, Jack. They had a human-sized hamster wheel so you could test the shoes out on it. Remember that? Brilliant. Yes. But also, a warning. Never forget the three Fs of fads. Food, fitness, and fashion. And finally, the hot new acquisition of 2026, it's Indian cricket teams.

22:52Blackstone and Carlisle, two USPE firms, are about to acquire two cricket teams over in India. The Royal Challengers of Bengaluru and the Rajasthan Royals. Each could go for over a billion bucks. Pro sports teams. They're one of the few truly finite things in this world. Valuations from the NFL to the WNBA to cricket are at all-time highs. Now time for the best fact yet. This one sent in by Austin Johnson, a legendary Yeti from Seattle. Earlier this week, we told you about Graza, the olive oil company that started putting olive oil in plastic bottles instead of green glass bottles. Okay, but here's the question we're all wondering.

23:30Why is olive oil always in green glass bottles? And why is most wine in a green bottle? But why is beer always in a brown glass bottle? It's not random. There's a reason for this, and the reason is sunlight. Because clear glass lets in all the sun's harmful UV rays. It doesn't protect those liquid ingredients. But green glass blocks more of the UV rays, so it protects the olive oil and the wine. And brown glass blocks even more of the UV rays, and beer is the most sensitive of those liquids, which is why it's always in brown glass. So the thing you've seen for years and decades and thought was random, it actually has a perfect rationale behind it.

24:08Totally. Colored glass, like sunscreen for luxury liquids. And the brown colored glass, that's the SPF 50. Yetis, you look fantastic over there. And Jack, you are looking sharp for the Starbucks investor day today. Thank you. It's not my first investor day. Back when I was a banker, I used to attend these things. I ain't my first investor. I've been to one in like 10 years though. You're going to the Hummacher Schlemmer annual conference. Yeah. But Starbucks, this is big. I mean, we're going to see the execs, man. Besties, if you've got a question for the executive team of Starbucks, drop it in the comments.

24:41We'll add it to the list. Yeah. I'm going to pull a Dwight Shrew and stand in line and ask the executive team some hard hitting question. Why is pumpkin spice, pumpkin spice flavor or lifestyle? I should ask that. It's a trick question. If you know, you know.

25:00And before we go, a happy five-month birthday to our daughter, Selena Rose Martel. You are glowing right now. Hope you enjoyed that first bite of oatmeal yesterday. Hang on a second. You guys celebrate five twelfths birthdays? Oh, Jack. I thought quarterly birthdays was already a stretch. This was in the S1, man. This was in the IBO S1, man. And happy birthday to Emily B. in Orland, Illinois, which is the future home of that mega ultra super max Amazon store. And Brooklyn Farquhar is celebrating her third birthday with a K-pop Demon Hunters theme down in Phoenix. Happy birthday to Joe Gonzalez in Chicago, Illinois.

25:35And Philip Scallett, happy birthday over in St. Louis. Happy birthday to Amanda Balzi in Vancouver, Canada. And Ole Miss, the Tupelo honey colored Black Lab Hound Mix is turning 10 years old with their adoptiversary in Rye, New Hampshire. I think it's a gotchiversary. Bark, bark, bark, bark, Jack. And Matthew Torres is going to our live show in lovely Los Angeles and just won his first pickleball tournament. And a big shout out to Kevin Erickson, who we love for listening to this show. And Andrew Counter and the whole Standard Metrics team, congrats on the coolest office in San Francisco and the new video launch.

26:05Big shout out to Mike P. Check for fireside chatting with me at the Vermont Economic Conference yesterday. Now, good call not wearing the tie, Mike. Yeah, because I was wearing my vest and that would have been a weird look. And Kyle Yoon, the legendary Yeti I met at the art show. Apologies, your son Hugh is the best one yet. This is Jack, Nick on stock of The RealReal.

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