🍼 “Stox4Kidz” — $1k baby accounts. SmartLess’ podcast phone. Zuck’s AI dragons.

0:00This is Nick. This is Jack. It's Wednesday, so be Jay Wednesday, June 11th. And today's pod is the best one yet. This is a T-boy. The top three pop business news stories you need to know today. Well, stocks are up and I think I know why. Do you know why, Jack? Because I'm in town. Also because it's the ninth anniversary of your meet cute with Alex. That's true. Nine years ago, I met Alex at a bachelor party. Can you believe that? And who would think nine years later, stocks are rising in honor of your big day? I think it's because I got her number. I got her number, baby. Which was 6 ,000 points for the S &P 500.

0:36Jack, three stories for today's pod. What do we got in the T-boy? For our first story, what happens if you give every baby in America$1 ,000 worth of stocks the day that they're born? Well, we're about to find out, and we call it the baby brokerage. For our second story, why is Smartless, a comedy podcast, launching a wireless phone company? Well, Jack, it's because one out of three of us are still on our parents' phone plan. And our third and final story. Mark Zuckerberg is offering top AI talent$100 million contracts if they'll come and work for Matt. We repeat,$100 million. Not companies, for people.

1:14The reason? Zuck is building a secret super intelligence AI team. So he needs to hire AI dragons. Where are my AI dragons? But yet is before we hit that wonderful mix of stories. Wonderful mix of stories. I love the mix today, Jack. We millennials get accused of killing a lot of things in society. But Gen Z, oh, they just killed something hilarious. The bar tab. That's right. We killed cereal. They killed the bar tab. Get this. Anyone under 30, they're apparently not putting their credit card down. Yeah, like Gen Z is closing out. Check, please. Here's the context. When Nick and I were in our 20s after college, you were a star if you started a tab.

1:52I mean, Jack, there was nothing more baller than the four words, I have a tab. But according to the New York Times, people in their 20s today prefer to pay for each drink and close out their tab each time. We're talking paying per a pinot. Three drinks, that's three different swipes, three different signatures. And the reason Gen Z is done with the bar tab, they're all pretty valid. Yeah, these are pretty good, Jack. Like, first, Gen Z drinks less alcohol. There's a good chance you're only getting one drink. And it's probably a seltzer. Second, Gen Z's used to Apple Pay. They don't even understand what, like, a tab is.

2:23They just tap to pay each time. And finally, it's just the financially responsible thing to do. How are you going to control your spending if your buddies have the ability to put their tequila on your tab all night? Now, Jack, remember when we used to forget to close out our bar tabs? We'd close them out. We forgot. The walk of shame at 11 a.m. when the bar opens the next day. Plus the$50 forgot your card fee. Every time. But by the way, Yetis, bartenders, they hate this trend. Printing out three different sets of receipts for these bar tabs? Yeah, people not leaving their tab open means bartenders have to collect those receipts from the bar.

2:59They're all wet from the bar. It's not a fun, not a fun thing. Nobody likes it. But in this economy, well, Gen Z is keeping tabs on their finances. And that means cutting the tab at the bar. So besties drink responsibly and pay responsibly. Jack and I write our three stories. Fifteen years before this song, two boys from the Northeast met in the dorm. They had an idea to cause a cultural storm. It's the best one yet, but the best is the norm. Jack Nick, that's it. I don't even think they need to practice. 50%, that's a fat tip. T-Boy City on your at list. If you know, you know, cause we ready to go.

3:35We can't wait no more, so just start the show.

3:41Start the show. First, a quick word from our sponsor.

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4:52Monarch. Yetis, did you guys get that grandma check for your birthdays growing up? A white letter envelope stuffed inside a wonderful handwritten card. Great penmanship. Great penmanship. Oh, I just wish I'd had a way to add all those checks up or track them or store them in a piggy bank. If I had Monarch as a kid, I would have known my account balances and watched them grow in probably a savings account before splurging on something awesome to treat myself. Because Monarch is the money app that we'd always wish we'd had. And when I say something awesome, I mean like a bunch of free spots probably.

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5:49That's 50 % off your first year at monarch.com with code T-B-O-Y. For our first story, funny thing is buried in the big new budget bill, money to buy every newborn baby in America$1 ,000 of stocks. $1 ,000 baby accounts would actually be the best financial literacy our country has ever done. So we got to talk about it. Yetis on Monday, a gaggle of CEOs visited the White House to support what we're calling kid capital. I think we should call it baby brokerage. I like what you said, Jack. Let's roll with that. Baby brokerage is a provision in the big, beautiful bill that is working its way through Congress.

6:30And what would this do exactly, Jack? It's a policy that would open brand new brokerage accounts for every baby born in the United States and then fund that brokerage account with$1 ,000 to invest in the stock market. So like you get a baby, first you get him a swaddle, then you get him some stock. Now, if the baby chose what stocks to invest in, like the E-Trade baby, they'd probably put that money into Nintendo, Tootsie Roll stock. Jack, if the baby was the stock broker here, they'd be going all in on cow milk commodities. You know, really bullish on that full fat milk. Really? Well, because you're a baby.

7:04Now that's not what's going to happen. No, it's not. Instead, the money is going to go into an index fund like the S &P 500 to invest broadly across American industry. Plus, these accounts would allow parents to invest additional money up to 5 ,000 bucks a year, all tax deferred. You can't touch it until the kid's 18, but once they are 18, it becomes theirs. Yes. And they can spend it however they want. Hopefully there's some education involved in the process. But yet, interestingly, Republican lawmakers have structured this baby brokerage account to maximize credit for the president. An earlier version of this bill referred to them as money accounts for growth and advancement.

7:41Which is an acronym for MAGA accounts. They're not called MAGA accounts, but they are called Trump accounts in the bill that's going through Congress. Which means, Jack, we should clarify that these are not funded by President Trump. They're actually funded by taxpayers. Plus, the legislation only benefits babies who are born during Trump's term in office. It ends December 31st, 2028. So Yetis, Jack and I were talking about this concept and we were like, you know what? It's just too bad it's getting politicized, right Jack? Yeah, because this is a great idea that we wish every lawmaker would get behind.

8:12Yeah, we love this idea and it is such a good idea, in fact, that eight major CEOs were at the White House to pledge support for this idea yesterday. And those eight CEOs weren't just pledging words of support. For Dell, the computer company, he pledged financial support for this bill. All right, this is wild. If this gets passed, Michael Dell, the computer entrepreneur, pledged to match all the money from the government one to one. For all the employees at Dell. Exactly. So like if Diane, an employee at Dell, has a baby boy named Danny, the government would put$1 ,000 into the baby brokerage account.

8:45And Dell would match it with their own$1 ,000 too. Not too shabby. Oh, and seven other CEOs pledged similar support, although not as explicitly and as magnanimously as Mr. Michael Dell. Yeah. Many Fortune 500 companies match 401k contributions. They could start matching baby brokerage contributions too. So Jack, what's the takeaway for our buddies over at the baby brokerage? The best way to learn about investing is to make money investing. Yetis, you often DM us and ask for our financial advice. And one idea we actually like the most is take an early investing win and then treat yourself with that stock.

9:23Here's the idea. Early in your investing career, you're going to pick a stock and that stock is going to go up. When you find a stock that's gained, sell it and buy yourself something nice with the gains. And here's the key. That is when the gains of investing go from theoretical to real, from abstract to AirPods. It's a brand new AirPods that you buy yourself. Yeah, you sold Apple stock at a high, boom, you're getting yourself a nice MacBook Pro. Here's the idea for baby brokerage. With$1 ,000 of stocks for each kid in America, they could watch the money grow to$4 ,000 by the time they're 18, assuming the stock market grows 8 % per year.

9:59Or Jack, if the employer matches that$1 ,000, it would be$8 ,000 by the time the kid turns 18. Or Nick, if the parent makes an annual birthday contribution of$1 ,000 each birthday, Okay. Then the baby brokerage account balance is 37 grand when they're 18. Yetis, the baby brokerage, if it happens, would be America's biggest ever financial literacy campaign. Because it would show kids the beauty of saving and investing. Right. Instead of just telling them. Because the best way to learn about investing is to make money investing. Treat yourself to something tangible. For our second story, Smartless, the comedy podcast, just launched a phone company.

10:44Strangest headline we've seen in a month. Yes, it is. But the reason this makes sense is millennial moochers. Millennial moochers. You might be one. There's a 35 % chance. You know, Yeti's Jack and I, we listen to a whole wide range of podcasts. You know, this full time. We study it. I listened to four episodes on the airplane. One show I really respect and kind of love is the comedic timing of Smartless. Yeah, Smartless, the ninth biggest show in America last quarter. I loved the one with Conan. Also, the Sandra Bullock episode's a classic, Jack. Did you hear what Will Arnett said about the hot tub to Gwyneth Paltrow?

11:20No, what'd he say? He said, okay. It might be a story for another pod, Jack. Yeti's Will Arnett, Jason Bateman, and Sean Hayes. They're three buddies who rip on each other for about 67 minutes straight. They basically forget that there's a guest present because they're just ripping on each other the whole time. Three comedians who started in Hollywood, but then started a side hustle during the pandemic podcasting. And now it's basically their full hustle. And now it's not uncommon for a podcast host to launch an unrelated product. Right. Call Her Daddy launched a beverage, Skinny Confidential launched mouth tape.

11:52Jack and I have been asked to launch. Podcast sneakers? Yes. Podcast sneakers. But these three dudes from Smartless are launching a phone company? Here's the news. It's called Smartless Mobile. It is a cheaper wireless phone plan than Verizon, AT &T, and T-Mobile. We should point out, Yadies, Will Arnett is not installing the phone towers for this business, right, Jack? No. Smartless Mobile is going to run on extra bandwidth that T-Mobile has just laying around. It's going to cost 15 to 30 bucks a month for up to 30 gigabytes of high-speed data. So we know what you're wondering, Yetis. Why are three comedic actors launching a phone company?

12:28It has to do with invisible infrastructure. Invisible infrastructure. It's the stuff we rely on every day, but we can't even see it. That's the reality today, Yetis. Wireless data, Wi-Fi, GPS. We don't know how much we use of those things because they're invisible. Well, it turns out most of us pay for two times more data than we actually use because Wi-Fi is everywhere and freely available. Think about it. When you're at home and when you're at work, your phone is definitely connected to Wi-Fi. And that is the main pitch from Smartless Mobile, to stop paying for what you don't use anyway. That's how they're able to offer half as much.

13:02You get half as much, too. But as Jack and I were studying this business model, we realized there's another opportunity here, a bigger opportunity. And that opportunity is freeloaders. Specifically, millennial moochers. Because get this, 35 % of American millennials are still on their parents' phone plan. That's right. One third of us are Nepo phone babies is what we're saying. Comment if you're still on your parents' phone plan and thank your parents. Because the one cord we haven't cut from our parents is the self-plan. And Jack, full disclosure, as we were doing this story, I realized I'm one of these Nepo phone babies.

13:37Call your mother. Yeah, yeah. Thank her. I'm a millennial moocher. It's just, I never even thought about it. It's like the one cord I still have going on with them right now. So here's the idea. Will Smartless's core audience, they're millennials. This Smartless mobile plan could be the off-ramp for millennial moochers to finally cut their final financial cord. Yeah, if your parents are listening to this story, you may be getting a phone call tomorrow. You may be getting a link to sign up for this. And no, there's no promo code for it. So Jack, what's the takeaway for our buddies over at a podcast launching a phone company?

14:09The family plan is one of the most successful business concepts in history. One way we measure success is churn, which is the percentage of customers who leave your product every year. Churn is like a leak in your boat. Yep, it is. If you're churning, it is much harder to grow. And row. But get this, besties. In the wireless industry, the churn rate is under 1%. That is insanely low, Jack. Now, some of this is the Hotel California effect. Yes, it is. Things like 12-month contracts and being locked into two years of phone payments. It makes it hard to leave your wireless provider. But a big part is also family friction.

14:49Changing services affects you and your spouse and your children. You're not just going to switch willy-nilly from T-Mobile to AT &T. It affects a lot of different people who all have to figure out how to update their phone. No, you won't, willy-nilly. And that is why phone plans offer major discounts so you can add more and more and more lines. Because adding additional lines to a phone plan reduces churn. They get the family, then they keep them forever. They raise prices each year, but you stick with them anyway. Because changing would be a huge pain for the whole family. The family plan. It is low-key a business-boosting profit puppy.

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17:01For our third and final story, Mark Zuckerberg is pulling off the wildest whining and dining we've ever heard of. Zuck is offering up to$100 million to hire AI dragons for Meta. Yeti's Markie, Mark Zuckerberg, has gone into full-on founder mode, hasn't he, Jack? According to Bloomberg, he has personally taken over Meta's recruiting when it comes to AI. He's basically zucking your HR job. Since he was 18, Mark Zuckerberg has done whatever is necessary to win. And right now, AI is necessary to win. Specifically, Zuck wants to be the first to win AGI. Artificial general intelligence. Sprinkle on some context for it, Jack.

17:44This is the end game. Yeah, it is. It's when artificial intelligence is equal to human intelligence. It's either very exciting or terrifying. Well, either way, Zuck has been personally inviting a recruit to his homes in Palo Alto and Lake Tahoe for a little bit of dinner, a little bit of drinks, and maybe, if we've got time, some jujitsu. Here's the kicker. According to reporting from New York Times, Zuckerberg is poaching people who work at OpenAI and Google by offering them seven to nine-digit pay packages. Seven and nine-digit pay. Can we please translate that into numbers we can work with?

18:21Three digits is 100. Six digits is 100 ,000. Nine digits is up to$100 million pay packages. We repeat, Zuck is going to pay individual people$100 million to join the company. Not just any people. We're talking about the most elite AI-trained techies in the whole economy. Who will now be able to afford a second yacht for their third home with$100 million salaries. Now, Yetis, we call this elite group of AI techies dragons. Right, because like in Westeros, whoever has the most dragons will win the AI war. He's aiming to hire 50 dragons, according to Bloomberg reporting, and he would start a whole division for these 50 people, and it would be called Super Intelligence at Meta.

19:08Now, besties, here's Zuck's pitch about the super intelligence team. No AI company except Meta is actually making money. Zuck is telling these people, hey, sit down, have another glass of peanut. Open AI, anthropic, perplexity, they're all actually unprofitable. True, Jack. But here at Meta, we made$66 billion of profits last year. Those other guys, they need to constantly raise money. But here at Meta, we don't have to raise money. We print money. So if you work at Meta, you'll have unlimited resources to get your work done in AI. On top of all that, insiders say that Zuck is prepping a$10 billion investment in Scale, an epic AI company.

19:49Now, one of the goals of this massive AI investment for Meta is to allow the creation of ads purely through AI that will be targeted to one individual person. So, you'd see an ad for a mattress that knows your size, your height, and your color preferences. It would be purely, perfectly personalized to you. The other big goal of the AI team is to build AI glasses with Jarvis-style super assistants built right in there so you don't even need my phone. And to work on that, you could get paid$100 million. So, Jack, all of that leads to our takeaway. What's the takeaway for our buddies over at Meta Superintelligence?

20:25Apple should acquire an AI company. Now, Yetis, Jack and I mentioned the$100 million pay packages and the$10 billion investment from meta into artificial intelligence. Those numbers sound huge, right? Yeah, they do. But they actually pale in comparison to the one-day drop Apple suffered on Monday. That's right. In the first 10 minutes of Apple's big event on Monday, they lost$90 billion of stock market value because they just haven't made AI progress. So if you girl math this thing... Yes, Jack, I'm following. Apple would actually save money if it acquired an AI company. If they spent$50 billion to acquire perplexity, Apple's stock would probably grow an amount that exceeds the cost.

21:09In the meantime, they're just losing money because they're not making progress in AI. Like Apple, Meta has so far over-promised and under-delivered when it comes to AI. But at least Meta's doing something about it. Apple so far, they haven't. That's why we think Apple's next move is to acquire an AI company. Zucks hiring dragons one at a time, Apple could buy a whole dragon pit.

21:55plans. And the key is the family plan. Because the family plan is a churn crusher, a business booster, and dare we say, a profit puppy. And our third and final story. Meta is offering pay packages of up to$100 million per person to poach AI dragons from OpenAI and Google. With that kind of money, you can just buy Estonia. And it shows that Apple needs to do something big, like acquire an AI company. But Yetis, this pod's not over yet. Here's what else you need to know today. First, the first self-driving Tesla robo-taxis are on the streets of Austin. It is happening. It's alive. Yep, literally.

22:34They're black model-wise. They have robo-taxi written on the side, and there's nobody behind the steering wheel. That's right. They are scheduled to start taking paid passengers starting this Thursday from... Austin, Texas. Yeah, that's right. You're going to end up at Franklin's Barbecue in a Tesla RoboCab. The self-driving RoboTaxi wars are finally beginning. And second, Snapchat, the short king of social media, was an early mover in smart glasses with Spectacles, but they're launching another new pair next year. They're taking another shot. They're called Specs. They'll be smarter, lighter, and with AI built in.

23:07Now, investors think Snap doesn't have the resources to compete in hardware with Apple, Meta, and Google. But with a 51 % voting stock, what Evan Spiegel wants, Evan Spiegel gets. Yeah, and finally, Chipotle stock may be down 15 % this year, so they're launching their first new dip in five years, Adobo Ranch. And what is adobo, Nick? Well, Jack, that would be a spicy and smoky sauce, but in this case, it is also creamy like a Hidden Valley Ranch. It's the first new sauce since Queso Blanco in 2020, and it launches next Tuesday. But like guac, adobo sauce is extra. Now time for the best fact yet.

23:46This one sent in by David Vincent Durham over in lovely Los Angeles. On Monday, we mentioned that DVD sales are back. Remember Millennial Corps? Which led to a little bit of T-Boy trivia from Jack and I. What is the top-selling DVD of all time? What's the top-selling DVD of all time? Hint, it debuted in 2003, pre-streaming. Another hint, Nick, what's the most watched content on streaming today? Fish. No, it's kids content. Okay, I misread you. And so was the top-selling DVD of all time. And here's the answer. The top-selling DVD of all time is Finding Nemo. Pre-Disney acquisition, the Pixar movie sold 41 million DVDs.

24:29That means one out of three American homes has a Finding Nemo DVD. And at 20 bucks each, that's nearly a billion dollars in revenues just from DVDs. Yetis, you look fantastic today. Jack, you are glowing right over there in the studio. I remember Yetis, the best solid you can do for the show, click auto-downloads. Yes. Good point, Jack. It's a secret financial life hack for Nick and me. That's true. That's true. Not many podcast hosts will reveal this, but a huge thing for podcasting is when you auto-download the show. Auto-download. You can do it on Spotify. You can do it on Apple. And it's how you show love for the show.

25:04Trust us. The smartless guys, they'd say the same thing. Jack and I will see you tomorrow.

25:13And before we go, a happy birthday to Yeti Kathy Becks in Ormond Beach, Florida, who loves her puppy Jack and a Costco hot dog or two. Happy birthday to Gary Adelkopf in New York City, who had a highlight trip to Roland Garrow. And Ethan Fensick, happy 32nd birthday in Koshoek in Pennsylvania. We hear you do a good Nick and Jack impression. You got to tag us. We got to see this thing. I would love to see this. This is Nick, that's Jack, and this is Ethan, baby. I've never seen anyone do an impression of us. Of both of us. That'd be impressive. And Jill Gomez and Tony Anion down in South San Francisco are getting married on Friday the 13th.

25:49Jill and Tony can't wait to see the pics. Have fun. Congratulations to Cassidy and Carter Meller in Orland, Pennsylvania on having a last day of school. Jack, I hear they're still laughing about Lake Chabagama. I'm going to buy another G. And a happy birthday to Colleen Neuenschwander from Columbus, Ohio. She's celebrating with her children who are flying in from across the country. And if you want to get a shout out on this podcast, we got a link in the episode description. Just fill out the form and Jack and I will get you on the show.

26:23This is Jack. Nick and I both own stock in Apple, Chipotle, and we have ETFs of the S &P 500. This intelligence podcast is sponsored by business travel on hotels.com. Does booking business travel feel like another job? Hotels.com makes booking work trips easy and rewarding. It's easy because you can set your preferences once and get results tailored to your business travel needs every time. It's rewarding because with hotels.com's free rewards program, you can save instantly on your next work trip and earn rewards for future travel. Book faster with confidence at hotels.com. Loyalty Members 18+.