A Very Good Girl Talk Ft. Bryony Deery & Lauryn Bosstick

26:14You're building your empire, you're doing your app, you've got a book that we're going to talk about, we've got product, you're posting content, and now you've added mother to your resume. Yeah. I don't know if balance is the right word. How are you managing all of it? I think it goes up and down. Some days I'm like, woo, I've got this. I am like thriving. I can do all the things. And then other days I'm like, I look like I've just been dragged through a bush backwards and it's not, it's not chic. And it's just the way it goes. I don't think I ever feel like, oh, I'm managing things so well, but I try and do things that help me.

26:59So there are a lot of things I will kind of manage in my day. Like I am obsessed by routine. And my routines change since having a baby, but I like a certain routine. Like I like routine, you know, I'm going to ask you that. No, I don't. It's funny to, it's not so much a routine. It's just routine, like in my day, for example, then I need to be more flexible now that I have a baby. Right. So my routine will ebb and flow but I still have a routine but it's not the same routine every day if that makes sense totally but like the day before I'll plan my next day and make sure I'm getting all the things in that I need to do so my workout my walks um I'll do things with L like I can go on a walk with L I'll do my workout like whenever I can fit that in but I make sure I fit it in I'll have like I have to have, this is my one thing that is a routine that does never change, never changes.

27:57I have to have complete silence in the morning. Like if, if, if you leave Casper and I leave Michael, let's just go off to a country together. That sounds great. Complete silence. I am very, and actually that was one thing I really noticed after having a baby. I was very like overstimulated by noise. So I love complete silence first thing in the morning. And even if it's 10 minutes, I'll just sit there. I'll write in my journal. I'll read. I'll make a drink. I'll literally stare into space. I will do whatever I can in silence, whatever feels good. What if Casper comes in? He does not. He never does.

28:36When I wake up, I give him my eye mask. He in his sleep puts my eye mask on his face because he thinks, oh God, now she's going to do all the things. So he gives you the space to be able to do that. I don't think he's giving me the space. I think he's giving himself the space. He's not like, I'm going to give this to her. He's like, I'm going to have two more hours in bed. One thing that's great about an age difference that I think, Michael and I don't have one. No, you don't because you went to school together. One thing that's great about an age difference is like, you know, men can be a little immature.

29:10and what's great is you sort of get his evolved wise owl energy. Do you know what I mean? It wouldn't be the same if he was 20 years younger. I really agree. I feel like, I mean, everyone is taught, everyone would talk so highly of their husband, but I really do feel he's given me this calm sense of like I can achieve and do anything and he gives me that wisdom like we were just saying I think I don't think we were on air when we're talking about this but we were saying that people no I think maybe we were talking about this on air sorry I missed that about how the like 20 years earlier it was very different like people having more conversations like people building businesses differently.

30:02Like I love to look at business owners or old marketing books and things like that and get inspiration from them because it's such a unique point of difference nowadays, rather than looking at Instagram or Pinterest. I just feel that everyone is served the same algorithm. So talking to someone like Casper or reading a book on, I don't know, like Ralph Lauren or an old marketing branding book, you get such, you get exhilarated by it. We were just having this conversation in the car. I cannot believe you said that. No way. I saw this thing by Merit Beauty where it says that she gets magazines from the 1940s.

30:44Oh, wow. And it gets inspired in other ways. For me, it's through similar books. Like I will buy all my books off thrift books. I want to find a book that's like, I just got this one that's, I'm going to send you the link. And it's Saint Laurent's house with Pierre. Oh, nice. And it's just fresh because it's not what everyone else is doing. And you're right about the algorithm. If we're all consuming the same algorithm, we don't have unique perspective. I completely agree. And what makes people interesting is their unique perspective. A hundred percent. And creating like, if you do have a brand, like with us on the app, for example, I didn't want to take any inspiration from anyone in the fitness world.

31:30Like I wanted to go completely my other way, my own way. And I think something else that you can do is go to like galleries, go to museums, go and be cultured. And I think that that like takes us out of this like warped internet world that we're sucked into, which obviously is so amazing. Like it's such a good business tool as well. And there is so much of that that does inspire me. And I love looking at people's outfits and things like that. But I do think we need to take ourselves out of that every now and then. I have a prediction that I think the more interesting that your outfit is or your content in the next couple of years, that's what's going to stand out.

32:08Like even things that are hand drawn as opposed to like AI generated or graphics. I think people are craving that that real touch definitely different I think so and I think you're even going to see that with podcasts you know when you when you launch a podcast I always tell people like what is your unique edge and you mentioned something earlier and I saw this on because of marketing this morning is you're you are doing something really different than the rest of the fitness community and when I read that I was like bullseye she she's got it maybe you can talk about how you came to that decision and what that decision is yeah so thank you for saying that because I really respect you and your marketing brain um but yeah we well firstly we actually were community before product so I had no business but I had a community not an Instagram community a Pilates community on Zoom.

33:06It was manual. It was like chaotic. We did an episode at the very beginning, kind of of my journey. So like, I don't know when that was when we, two, three years ago. You guys should go listen to that episode. It's one of my favorite episodes we've ever done. Thank you. Like Michael and I have ever done. I love that episode because there's so many, it has range. I love range. By the way, I just want to caveat this because as I say this, this cringes me out beyond belief but I have to like step into it because I am launching a book I have written a book but I wrote about that episode in the book it was a special episode there was a there's a chapter on visualization and I write about that episode I just think our energy with the three of us it's just like worked no I love it yeah okay so I had a community before the product so I was teaching on zoom I had 10 people on zoom then they were telling their friends.

33:58It was so old school. It was not ads. It was not like, oh my God, she looks so cool. Like there was none of that. There was no coolness. And I heard about it from Kenzie Burke on her Instagram. Exactly. So it grew like a tumbleweed. It completely grew organically and naturally. And it was zero vibes. It was just pure Pilates. I was in my studio apartment. The laptop was hanging off the kitchen counter. Like it wasn't a cool girl it girl thing at all. so I think that that is the one point of difference I feel now nowadays you hear this like community word being thrown around and everyone says community oh my gosh my community and it's like a tick box phrase and you can tell if it's you can tell 100 % if it's genuine or if it's not genuine and um yeah sorry that's like a tangent but we have such an amazing community and then we built the app because the community grew on Zoom and we couldn't have like thousands of people on Zoom anymore.

35:00It was very manual and scrambly. It wasn't manufactured. No, it wasn't. And then on the point of difference, I think for me, I, again, I don't know whether this is like an identity thing after having a baby, but I really was just, I did not resonate with anything in the fitness industry. And it's not to say I don't respect them and look up to them and think that they're incredible. But there wasn't something that was like calling out for me. Like I didn't really connect with something. And I think that that was because everything felt so wide. Everyone was adding so many things, like trying to be all of the things to everyone on the app.

35:44So I decided to just not do any of that and go all in on Pilates. So basically being the number one destination online for Pilates, not for strength training, not for yoga, not for any of those things, which by the way, I love and I do strength train, but I want you to strength train somewhere else. I want you to come to us for Pilates. It's so genius. If you're trying to appeal to everyone, you're speaking to no one. I completely agree. And I also think that with Pilates, there's a certain amount, especially classical Pilates. Like there's so much heritage in the original form of Pilates. You love classical Pilates.

36:22And it's so transformative. And I feel that you need to, if you are a classical teacher, like there's so much respect in that world. So I want to go deep on that. Like I'm such a Pilates nerd, you know, like I'm studying Pilates for scoliosis, endometriosis, all these things that can really help people. So I think if I'm trying to be a strength training app, the Pilates loses its meaning. You're going niche, not wide. Exactly. And it was actually, to be honest, it was something I was like debating with myself because naturally there is this pressure to go wide. Scale, big. Scale, go wide, do all the things, add this trainer, add this method, whatever.

37:09And part of me was thinking, should I do that? And then I just, I wasn't actually doing it. And I just really listened to my gut. And I thought, no, I'm going to, I'm going all in on this. So we will never be. I think it's also restraint is very important. Let's talk about restraint. I'm so into that word. It's so good, isn't it? but I think I think with brands and I'm by by the way I am by no means an expert so please take this with a pinch of salt this is just my point of view oh my god everyone always has to do a disclaimer for everything no but I do feel you don't need to do that don't worry I know but I am not I'm not I do think you are a branding expert I love you well I am my own little expert but I'm not, you know, I'm 34 years old.

37:59I'm not Diane von Fusstenberg that can. You're on your way. Anyway. Okay. Thank you. But I think that restraint is really important with building a brand. And I think, think about what you are, but more importantly, think about what you are not. That's a great tip. Yeah. So right. Even if you're like a startup and you want to, or you have an idea, I would say like to get you down the niche specific road, maybe even work on what you are not before what you are. So who are you not speaking to? What are you not doing? What words are you never using? Like we don't use fitness coded language, for example.

38:45And we're very specific on what we do and what we do not do. I think that there is a lot to be said about having negative space and discernment. And I've learned this the hard way because, you know, you do want to grow big and you do want to do everything, but you can't. And that's not like to deter anyone from their dreams. it's more effective to become a master at something to do one thing over and over and over and over and rinse and repeat. 100%. And I think knowing that you are stretching yourself is also a good thing because you don't want to half-ass things. Like I had a podcast with you guys, which I adored and loved, but I've taken a pause on that because I can't do all the things right now.

39:40So that was one thing I had to, and that was such a hard decision. But I can come back to that when it's time. Do you know what I mean? You can always come back to it. And the good thing about your podcast is it's your point of view. And I also think too, and I would tell you this off air, that there's nothing bad about taking a commercial break sometimes. And I don't just mean on podcasts. I take a commercial break all the time on Instagram story. We're not getting every single second to the moment I wake up to the moment I go to bed every day. I need to recharge. I think the audience, like a commercial break on everything, even like branding.

40:19If I feel like I'm just launching, launching, launching product, it doesn't get me excited. I don't think it gets the audience excited. I feel like you need commercial breaks and seasons in your life. Definitely. And like real moments as well, make the moments fewer and far between, but more special. I think that that is really what you just said about restraint. It's really going to be the theme moving forward. I agree. And if you look at like, for example, the popularity of Substack, it's what like typically people have one article a week. It's nice. So nice. You read, you look forward to that one article.

41:01Do you remember when you'd like watch a show and then And it was like, we can't watch that show until next Wednesday. It was the most exciting thing when Wednesday would come around. Whereas now everything's just so available to us and we're not appreciating things. Agreed. It's kind of the same with Instagram story though. Do you ever see like when someone has 7 ,000? Me today. Yeah. Well, okay. Today, but then like maybe like this weekend you take a beat. I like a little beat. I also find it so hard to not. I always repost. do you know what I mean like I'm not the person that's like oh I'm not really I'm the reposter well you know what you can do you if you feel like you need a break from Instagram story I'll just save the repost and post it when I'm going does that make sense how do you save it I'll show you you so like if I post you today yeah instead of you feeling like oh my god I need to post this right now you could save it and post it on Saturday and it still looks like on a story From my account.

42:02Wow. Yeah, if you're feeling like you need to repost all the time, you could save it and batch it. That's a good tip. Yeah, I think that we're so obsessed with presence. Yeah. A little absence, never heard of Lee. Yeah. Just a little bit. Give it a little air. I agree with that, definitely. Like you said, you look forward to your show. Yeah, and I think we need more of that for sure. And that's a work in progress. I agree. I'm trying that now. But everything's just so available and tempting. Everything's available from the Postmates to the Uber. It's all so available. Sexy is a little mystery.

42:45A hundred percent. And I would also think like try and think long term as well. Like if someone is very, very available to you, are you going to be so excited about them? I mean, like the virality thing, I would much rather slow and steady wins the race than one viral post that like kicks off. And then afterwards, you just die a death. Also, I've noticed when someone goes super viral, the only way you can go is down. Yeah. And that's a hard ball. I know. Oh, it freaks me out. So when you grow exponentially and it's slow and it's thoughtful and you're really building, like I always say the three little pigs, like the house of brick, brick by brick by brick.

43:33It's a little bit more rewarding, I think, than just going viral. And then it's like you almost experience stretch. Nothing's ever as good as that first hit. Yeah, I so agree. tell us about what your life is like on a daily basis with a baby we kind of were touching on it but I want to know more details so meaning like this is like a niche question but what time does your nanny come do you have a nanny yeah is Casper helping I want to know all the little details so Casper is always around like I am really lucky with that that is one he's hands-on which is such a weird phrase like who says that about mom no one says she's such a hands-on mom no one else Michael, if he has a nanny.

44:16No. So yeah, exactly. So yeah, Casper, I'm really lucky with the age gap. He's kind of done his going into the office thing. And now he's in a different like phase of his life. He posted something he doesn't. He didn't post someone else posted a thing with him the other day. And they said, what are you building? And he said a family. So that is very his vibe right now. So I'm lucky in that sense, because I can travel knowing Elle's at home with her dad and she's fine um we also have a nanny called nora who is just my favorite person ever um and she just basically lets me work monday to friday like i can get things done during the day but she's so like part of our life now that it's i don't feel like awkward if i would go and take l for a bit like it's very kind of fluid right now and i think that's working for me at the moment So I think that that will change, but it's just so helpful knowing from eight until I put L to bed, I have that extra pair of hands.

45:22So that's a big one. And that is also a big privilege. So yeah, we have a lot of help. um day to day I'm I'm just I just think I'm a Pilates teacher like I don't think of myself as this like brand builder business owner so I'm day to day teaching Pilates I'm training I'm I'm teaching on the app I'm recording classes I'm working on new things within the app um so as we were talking about like specific Pilates for um certain injuries or posture posture I think is a huge. I know. Can you help me with my posture, please? Can I just say posture, again, not to be that annoying person. I've written so much about posture in the book because I think good posture leads to more opportunities.

46:12Agreed. And I've seen that in myself. Like I am the product. What should we be doing for our posture? Tell us what to do. Okay. So of course, as I sit up. Specifically, you need to do classical Pilates because Joseph Pilates said, You've got good posture. I work at it. And especially after having a baby, you're hunched over holding them all the time. So, okay, there's a few things I would say. So Joseph Pilates says you're only as young as your spine is healthy. He's obsessed by spine health. So a lot of classical work is on the spine. So that's one thing. The other thing that you can do is if you ever do get massages, massage, tell them to really go deep inside your shoulder.

46:54because so much of us have tightness there because we're hunched. We're holding onto our phone. We're on our laptop. So do like a sports massage I have here. You got to be on your phone like Ichabod Crane. You can't look down. You got to look up like Ichabod. Exactly. And I always think like almost tell yourself like if you're going into a room, think before you walk into that room, okay, shoulders down, chest open. I'm ready to receive all the opportunities in this room. Everything's happening for me. Everything's happening for me. Everything's flowing easily to me. Everything is coming to me with ease.

47:32And I think if you have like an open chest and good posture, you walk in more confident. No one is drawn to the person. I'm saying this with like complete like personal experience. I used to be the other person. People were not drawn to me when I was hunched over playing with my hair on my phone, that energy, I was giving off the energy, don't speak to me. Which I didn't want, of course, that was subconscious. Whereas now I really focus on, okay, my phone's away in my bag. I'm walking in with a good, tall, confident spine. And that feels reassuring. That's good energy. So it's like the person in your presence naturally, energetically wants to be around the confident person because they feel safe and rooted.

48:16If you have noticed lately, I have been wearing my spectacles, my eyewear on the show. I'm all about a sexy, fun eyewear moment. I think it gives you a little intellectual vibe, if you know what I mean. I'm a big fan of tortoise shell eyewear, and there's this site called Zenni. Zenni is an online eyewear shop with stylish prescription glasses, sunglasses, and customizable lens options at prices that make it easy to own more than one pair. And they're all starting under$30. So what you do is you go to zenni.com, you pick a frame, you enter your prescription, you customize your lenses, and they'll ship it right to your door.

48:57So there's no store visits, no pressure. My goodness, my parents would have loved this when I was little. They were always at the eyeglass store. This is so efficient. And at this price, you really stop asking yourself, do I really need new glasses? And you start asking, why wouldn't I get a few? And for me, I like to have my options when it comes to the show. They have over 155 star reviews. So if you've never bought glasses online too, they have like a virtual try on. So Zenni shows you exactly how the frame looks on your face before you order. That scratched up pair has done its job. Upgrade today with Zenni.

49:33Go to zenni.com slash podcast and use code podcast 15 for 15 % off your first order, plus free shipping on all US orders over$65. The styles sell out, so don't sit on it. That's Z-E-N-N-I dot com slash podcast. Promo code podcast15. I have my skincare in like a little makeup bag. It's this cute blue makeup bag, and I bring the same skincare in the car, and I usually get ready in the car for the gym. The only makeup product that I have in that bag is the Minimalist by Merit. Let me tell you, this is working over time. It works double duty as both a foundation and a concealer, so you get a quick buildable coverage efficiently.

50:17I'm telling you, this over skincare looks so beautiful. I feel refreshed. I feel just like ready to tackle the day. I can go to the gym and not feel like a ghoul. I cover my hyperpigmentation spots, which is very effective. What I like about it is it feels like I'm not wearing makeup. Merit Beauty is one of those companies that just gives you that effortless elevated makeup that helps you look polished without a complicated routine. I do like a few swipes. I blend it with my fingers and sometimes a little sponge and I am ready to go for the gym. If you're on their site, I would also check out their Great Skin Serum.

50:58This lays really nice under the minimalist, but you have to get the minimalist. I'm telling you this foundation slash concealer will give you such a nice little upgrade. They also have a clean volume mascara on their site and a flesh balm. Right now Merit Beauty is offering our listeners their signature makeup bag, which if you've seen it, it's not just a makeup bag, but really an accessory. Free with your first order at MeritBeauty.com. And let me tell you, it is beautiful, you guys. That's M-E-R-I-T beauty.com, meritbeauty.com. Do me a favor and go on Sam Edelman and check out their netty slingback flat French shoes.

51:36I like the Merlot. It will blow your mind how chic these shoes are, how timeless, how classic. You will want them. Trust me. I cannot believe how expensive these shoes look. If you're unfamiliar with Sam Edelman, well, they have elevated footwear. They have essentials from handbags fragrances ready to wear all the things I am a fan though of their shoes and the shoes that I like i'm telling you are the netty slingback flat french shoes in merlot I like the merlot color. I wore them the other day with a Beautiful jean that fell right over the shoe It showed a little bit of the point in front and a white t-shirt and it was sleek.

52:18It was chic I also like these shoes because they don't hurt my back we're getting to that age. I want confidence and comfort. And while I was on their site, I also got their Vienna and their Hazel. They have all different colors. You can really sort of get all your fall pieces in one. If you're looking for a ballerina flat, they have the alley. I've talked about this on the show. Really nice with every occasion. And if you're looking for a classic loafer, check out the Lorraine. Truly, you can get all the things. Go visit them at samedelman.com to explore anything you need for fall and get 15 % off with code SKINNY15.

52:56That's samedelman.com SKINNY15. Look what we've got here. The new mint roller. We did a new colorway. It's baby pink. It matches with your ice roller. And this for me is everything when it comes to travel. So how I use this is if I'm traveling or I'm running out the door and I want to use ice on my face. So I keep these in my freezer or my fridge, just depends on what I'm feeling. And then I'll throw it in my handbag. So one side is a contour, which is amazing. So you're going to feel nice and tight and lifted and sculpted when you use this. And then the other side, bite size, is an ice roller.

53:37So this one you could use on your neck so you can feel refreshed and de-puffed in the morning. I am obsessed with this because it's compact. It's like a compact ice roller that you can just throw in your purse. If you have not tried our mint roller, go grab it now. Also, it comes in a little dust bag that we designed, which is so fun. You are all set to be tight, sculpted, and de-puffed with the Skinny Confidential Mint Roller. Go to shopskinnyconfidential.com to shop the limited colorway now. You do something that I notice I've interviewed a thousand people and you do something very specific.

54:16You put people at ease and it's a finesse. That's so sweet. If someone's listening and they want to be able to do that. Put people at ease. What is it? Is it the meditation? Is it the silence in the morning? What are the things that you do when you walk into a room to, it's a vibration and you know what I'm talking about. Well, firstly, I think if you're a good person, you come across more warm, I think. Yes. So I think having warm energy is a good start. And I think making eye contact is a big thing. Yes. Eye contact is so important because again, you're putting that person at ease. If you don't have eye contact and you're a bit shifty, they're a bit unsettled.

55:04And then the energy in the room is a bit off yeah so I think um definitely being personal as well like asking them questions about themselves saying hello like greeting people telling like treating everyone as you would like to be treated I think it's really important like don't think about I don't know like if if this is I guess some people might think oh I want to get to that person in the room and they're like razor focused on that person. I don't know. I'm just trying to think of like scenarios. There's a lot. But I think actually you should be, you should treat everyone with kindness and respect.

55:44Not for any reason other than that's just like a human, that's like a standard. My grandma used to say, get outside yourself. I think you do a really good job of that. Some people I think walk in the room and they're essentially like looking in the mirror. Not really, like not literally, figuratively. And other people walk in the room and they're looking out the window. And I feel like you're looking out the window. You had me and some of my best friends, family over to your house. And some of them you hadn't met yet. And you could not have been more warm. And they all commented on it. And I have, you know, Weston, who's like so energetic.

56:22He's so sweet. He was so blown away by the way that you, it was like an ease. Well, I've not always been like this. Like I used to be so self-conscious, so unconfident, and I really had to teach myself self-belief. Like I used to think, oh, like I can, I can put on confidence. So I'm a confident person. I must have self-belief. But I was so self-conscious. I was terrible at public speaking, like so anxious, all these things. I would literally like want to choke, throw up like all of these things. And I've changed my life. Like I really have changed that. So I do think that everyone can do this.

57:04I definitely think it's important to know the difference between confidence and self-belief and self-worth. Confidence is very external. So confidence is more like if you're thinking about a tree, confidence is like the branches. If it's windy, they're shaking, they're like unstable. They might come off every now and then. Whereas self-belief is the roots of the tree. You will always have self-belief once you work on it. That's something that doesn't waver. And it's not like confidence is more of a mood. What is your playbook and your tools that you go to to build your self-worth? Okay, so I have like a full workshop in the book after every single chapter and self-belief is the first chapter.

57:53So people can go to your book, which you're going to tell us about, and they can actually see the actual tools. Give us a few of them. Well, firstly, I just want to say like the reason I wrote this is because I've changed my life. I've also noticed that all these women that are on the app, thousands of women that are on the app have changed their life. and they've changed their life starting with movement. So Pilates was the catalyst to all these other things. So I became obsessed by studying this, studying them, studying my own journey. So the book is essentially self-belief, visualization, routine, discipline, mind-body connection, and community.

58:32It's so you. Those are the pillars. It's so you. There's nothing about tracking. There's nothing about data. There's nothing about red light therapy, even though I love a little red light therapy. There's nothing about that. These are just the simple tools that every single person can start the second that they pick up the book. What do you not have time for? What are you like swiping away from you? That's a good question. I think that it's more a case of what do I have time for? I don't really think. Maybe this is like an energetic thing where I'm not focusing on what I don't have time. That feels quite negative.

59:15Like you're feeling you're going towards more of the things you do have time for. Exactly. Okay, so tell us what you have time for. I'm very specific about that. So like, for example, on this trip, I'm away from Elle. Elle's at home with my mom and dad and Nora. So she's fine. She's sorted. But I'm here with Casper.

59:36So and with Casper. So I make sure that I utilize my time in the most productive, efficient way as possible. So I have time for my friends. That's a small circle of friends. Like I have, well, it's actually funny because I, one of my birthdays, I took all my friends to Estelle Manor and they, none of them knew each other. And then since then they've all become best friends. So now we actually have like a nice strong group of girls that are just all like one crew, which is really nice and quite rare that everyone clicks. But yeah, so I have time for my friends, the ones that are very close to me.

1:00:16I have time for my family. I have time for my daughter and I have time for work. I feel like you and I are very similar and Sif. Yes. Where? Love Sif. She's great for advice. She's so smart. She's great. She's really smart and she has this way of like depersonalizing things. I think one of my weaknesses is to, I take things personally. Not everything, but I find it hard, like for example, in a work environment, like if someone did something at work that was like not okay, I would have a much harder time saying, okay, maybe don't do that. Like, give me an example. Let me think carefully. I think that, well, I don't know if you find this.

1:01:12Probably not because I feel you're quite like stiff on this. But because of like being someone young and like more on social media, more kind of like you have this like glimpse into things. I feel it's hard to well firstly I don't actually I just see myself as a Pilates teacher I don't see myself as this like I'm obsessed by Emma Greed but I'm not an Emma Greed for example I love her by the way and I try and absorb as much of her as I can but I just cannot be that person like I'm almost like oh okay that's fine like and then inside I'm like oh my god that's so not okay you know, whereas Sif will depersonalize it and be like, no, no, that's not good for the business.

1:01:59So you need to do X, Y, and Z. Like she'll help me like come out of the situation, if that makes sense. Yeah. I think having a mixture of the feminine and masculine energy is quite an art and it's not easy. And it's something that you have to constantly take inventory of and check in with. I listened to, it was actually Emma Greed's podcast. I think it was with Oprah and they were talking about ask your partner, your friends and your family, your weakness. And I asked Casper yesterday because we were on the plane and I was like, what is my weakness? And he said, he said, your weakness in business is your strength in your personal life.

1:02:37And that was being too soft. Your weakness in business is your strength in your personal life. Yeah. So he thinks that he likes your softness in a relationship, but in the business, it's tough. I'm too soft. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, thoughtful answer. So Sif is able to depersonalize and not take it personally is what you're saying. I think she just sees it a little and I don't want to like speak for her, but if I go to her for advice, she would just see it much more black and white, but still in such a like warm way. She's not cutthroat in like a cold way. She's like so warm and so kind and so giving and they have the most incredible team that's like a family but she's also she can see it things for what they are more so than me I think what are some boundaries that you create around your life with whether it's with your phone or whether it's with text message like what what are the boundaries okay so I love discipline like I really see discipline as like a key pillar.

1:03:47I think I have so many little hacks I do. One of them for discipline is on my phone. I use the app Opal. Do you know Opal? No, you got to tell me about it. It's really good. You can set limits. So you can say, okay, don't let me access Instagram until X time. That's great. And you can stop it and you can set like an hour on the weekends and things like that. So you can have it available your work day and then on the weekends you could like reduce it. I love that so I love that I love um I love seeing discipline as devotion so like discipline has like negative connotations but I think it's like the coolest thing ever if I see someone so disciplined and so on their like mission I find it so expansive to be around so I love to kind of create that like obsession like that mission within my life so I have boundaries around or not I don't really like the word boundary.

1:04:44Slow vibration. What's a better word? We have to ask chat GPT what a better word for boundary. I'm devoted. I'm devoted to. Committed. Committed. Committed is a little mental institution. A little one flew over a cuckoo's nest. Devotion is quite nice. I like devotion. Okay. So. Frequency. Frequency. Okay. Love it. So I am I'm devoted to doing the things that will make an impact in my life and the people's lives around me. So if it's not falling into that and it's just a little bit like, I don't know, saying that though, there is this new boundary thing where it's like, I have a boundary. I'm not, let's say, for example, I listened to this thing the other day.

1:05:32I don't know what it was, but they were like, I just don't, I won't even go to my friends events. And I'm like, no, no. Okay. Like we've lost our heads a little bit with boundaries. I get what you're saying. We need to support our friends. Like, okay, every so often, maybe don't go to bed at 7 p.m. It's okay if your friend has an event and you need to support your friend. It's a little also like the word trigger. Yeah, it's like triggers and boundaries and... Triggers, trauma, boundaries, all the things. Like I just, yeah. I get what, like, yeah. If we were having a cocktail, we could go off on a tangent on this subject.

1:06:07for hours. I think what's so cool about you and Sif and me together is that when I go on a trip like this to New York City to record, I'm so thoughtful about the time that I spend and who I spend it with. And that's a lot because I'm interviewing all different kinds of personalities and I feel like I have to like just, if I'm going to do dinner, it's got to be with someone I really want to do dinner with. Yeah. And I think what's so cool is that we're all in the same city and we're all doing that. And I feel like it's exciting and abundant because we all really want to be there. Yeah, I agree.

1:06:46And there's something that's really nice about that. Yeah. I mean, a hundred percent. And doesn't that feel a bit like good old fashioned? Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. We're not being dragged there. No one. Yes, exactly. Like I am so looking forward to tonight when I sit down at dinner with Casper. I have a margarita. I have my dinner with him. Then tomorrow we're going to do the same with you guys. I love those moments. I'm not being forced to do that. I've realized for me, it has... Listen, I do a lot of stuff I don't want to do all the time. That's part of life. You got to be uncomfortable.

1:07:22But when it comes to where I spend my free time, dinners lunch like whatever I like to be around people that I let them be themselves and they let me be myself yeah and there's not judgment I agree and you can always feel that don't you think like when you when you leave someone you can feel that reciprocated energy if it feels good or not yeah do you know Lacey Phillips I think to be magnetic I feel like she's coming on our show Oh, wait, I think Elizabeth talked about her on our show. Yes, and she's amazing. I believe she is. And if she's not, she should. I heard she's amazing. She's great. And she has this concept of expanders.

1:08:06She kind of created that. I don't know if you've heard about like expanders. So basically people that it's kind of reframing. I don't want to butcher it, but have a look at 2B Magnetic and Lacey Phillips. but basically it's people that for want of a better phrase trigger you using them as expanders so shifting that energy to thinking oh my gosh they're showing me what's possible if they can do it I can do it like almost changing that narrative within yourself like wow that's amazing that they're doing those things and actually like almost use that negative feeling inside of you, if you are someone that feels like that as a bit of a guide, like, okay, I need to almost like go more towards that energy.

1:08:56It's almost like using it as a map of where you need to go. Yes, for sure. So looking at the trigger that you're having and figuring out why it triggers you. And maybe it's because you actually want more of that thing. Yeah. And I feel the same way with like personal challenges and going back to the self-belief thing, you really build your inner confidence through challenging yourself. So going towards the fear. So if you're able to go towards that scary thing, towards the fear, using that fear as almost like a guide, like leaning into that, then you'll be able to set like a promise to yourself, that challenge that you overcome.

1:09:36And then you build that as evidence. So you can build like a bit of an evidence journal. Whenever you find it scary, the next thing you're doing, you can go back and be like, well, I just did that so I can do this. And you need to build momentum on that. I think momentum is important because if you do one scary thing once a year, you're probably going to forget that feeling. It seems like we can use your book to do what you're saying. I hope so. I hope it's a blueprint and a guide to really unlocking your most confident self, mind, body, everything. Can we buy it right now? So when does this episode go?

1:10:13We'll put it out when you want so you can tell if you want. I feel like there should be a call to action. When does it come out? This is all off the show, what I'm saying right now. When does it come out? So you can pre-order end of September. Okay, so let's put this live in. So go ahead and say that you can pre-order now. You can pre-order now and then the hard copy releases in January. So yeah, it's really exciting. And I think like, hopefully this is a toolbox. There's a workshop at the end of every single chapter. And there's just so many little nuggets, I hope, tangible takeaways. What was the process like writing the book?

1:10:52That is not easy to do. No, it wasn't. But I loved the challenge. Yeah, it's a lot of work. It was a challenge. And I did it when I was pregnant. I wrote it when I was pregnant. I had insomnia quite badly. so I would just use that quiet morning time to just sit and write and I loved how different it was I loved how it took me into like researching I researched all these different psychologists and methods and theories and techniques and I found it so fascinating and yeah I kind of loved being a bit nerdy so I really enjoyed it it was it was hard I mean 60 ,000 words is a lot and I didn't have a ghostwriter a lot of work and I think yeah it's there's something like powerful about doing something that I mean I was not the brightest crayon in the box in school at all like my parents are literally like they're not like this but I I was not the smart one my brother was that and I was never I never had this story in my head like oh, I can do it, write a book one day.

1:11:59Never, ever, ever. So I am really like living proof of this. You and I would have been great friends. We would have been fast friends. We really would have. In high school. And I am dying to know what you think of the book. I cannot wait. Do we have a cover yet? Can we pop it up on the screen? Yeah, we can pop it up. It's called The Promise of You. Can I see? I feel like I don't think I feel like I've seen the cover. you haven't because we don't have a cover right now as we're recording but we will this is not on I just want to know are you putting your face on it or not no so it's called the promise of you I would tell you that this is off I would tell you not to put your face not because you're not beautiful never I think you could sell more copies just of course without not anyone's face not her face anyone's face I think it's a little more we've gone down I'm excited to show you.

1:12:54We've gone down like a bit of a vintage. I bet it's beautiful. Route. The colors we're using and it's six steps to change your mind, body and life. And can they buy it on Amazon? Yes. I love it. I know. I'm so excited. Can we do a code for the app? Yes. So there's a seven day free trial on the website already. And then we'll do 20 % off all the equipment with code skinny. Should we do that? Or do you want to do the boss sticks? We're doing, we're still doing skinny. Okay. So we'll do 20 % off all the equipment and the journals and everything. And the journals are so cute. I actually have the baby blue one and the oxblood one, but this looks brown.

1:13:36I feel like I have an oxblood one. No, you have that one. But I just want to caveat, Lauren is so sweet. I just bought these to give to her and she's displayed them because she's the sweetest. Why do I feel like I have something oxblood of yours? I don't think you did. Did I buy you another journal? Maybe it's this. No. I think you might have that one. But I feel like the baby blue one is very you. And in the journal, you have your three priorities for the day. You have an accountability section. So what you're going to do for mind, body, you have a visualization section, notes, a schedule, and a to-do list.

1:14:11and then you have a Sunday reset. I'm a big fan of a Sunday reset. Sunday reset's very needed. Yes. I have rapid fire questions from the audience on my Instagram. Skincare, tell us a couple things. Okay, PTOX SkinCeuticals is incredible. Agreed. I also use a lot of SkinCeuticals. I also love the Rode Mist. Okay. I think it's really good. And Microneedling, incredible. Pandora Long in London is unbelievable. Micro-needling is the best thing you can do possibly to your skin. And you and I have tried it all. It's amazing. If you're going to spend money anymore. You have to do it regularly. I try to go once a month.

1:14:54Yeah. It's a thing though. It's a commitment. It is. It's not like you're rushing to go out. No, it's not like you're rushing to go out. But you do it on your hands as well. I'm going to do that next time. I do hands. I do arms. upper anywhere I can get it. We need like a full body microneedling. We should get a big one. Wellness tip that's kind of like a red light, but not red light. Like a wellnessy tip. Eat breakfast before your workout. I actually have two breakfasts. I have one pre and one post. What'd you eat for breakfast today? Today was not a good example. Okay, let's say what'd you eat for breakfast on a great day last week?

1:15:33On a great day, I will have a protein shake. I will do a banana, frozen banana, coconut water, chocolate protein powder, some frozen blueberries, and either some walnuts or almond butter. That's my first breakfast. Then I'll do my workout and a walk, and then I'll have some Greek yogurt with blueberries. What's the protein powder that you like? I actually love Form Nutrition. It's a UK brand. Very clean, simple. But then there are ones like Truvani's Nice, I think. I don't know other brands that people like. Mantra. My parents always drum this into me from like, as long as I can remember, always do the things you say you're going to do.

1:16:22Ooh, that's a good one. That's a good one. So be like a woman of your word. And be a woman of your word to yourself. 100%. So your book, you told yourself you were going to write a book? Yeah. And here we are. And it's called The Promise of You. That answer goes with the book. Perfect. It's great. Last one. What's your Joe and the Juice order? Okay. So my Joe and the Juice order, there's a few things. I will do celery, lemon, ginger, cucumber, and half an apple. That's one of them. And they use the lemon peel, like all the lemon peel in there. So good. And then I like doing an electrolyte creatine situation if I'm traveling and I don't have my creatine.

1:17:17So I'll do coconut water. I'll put their shot of apple and ginger in the coconut water. And then I will add creatine. They have creatine on the menu. So that's another thing. The other one, which always makes people laugh when I order it, I order the vegan sandwich with turkey. Yeah, I get it. That like sums me up. I totally get that order. Because the vegan sandwich probably has a bunch of avocado. Exactly. I get it. Exactly. And the pesto and the spinach, tomatoes. And then I add turkey. I'm a turkey sandwich kind of girl. Love that. I figured out after this episode too, who you remind me of.

1:17:56I don't know how I didn't think of this earlier. My best friend, Faith. I think you told me this last time. I must've already told you this. But I forgot that you remind me of her. And when I just saw you again, I swear it like took me a second. Because I'm like, who does she remind me of? It's Faith. That's such a compliment. And she is the most lovely, fun, good energy person. I can see that. She seems so much fun. Is she? Yeah, you got to meet her one time. You guys would, we would have quite, we wanted to do a little vacation. That would be fun. Yeah. People think I have an Australian accent.

1:18:29I don't know why. It's so dainty and chic. And I told you this on the first episode. Thank you. It's like sing-songy. I could just listen to it. Oh, thank you so much. I would tell you to do a meditation, but we are just focused on Pilates. Well, we're focused on Pilates in the fitness category and the workouts, but I do have meditations, breath work, all those kind of things. We have a mind section. So you can go on, you can get the journal. The Baby Blue is really major, you guys. Definitely get your book. Thank you so much. I know that the book is going to be a huge hit. When you text me about it, I was like, I have to have her on again.

1:19:04You're also welcome to come back on the show anytime you want. Please. I love it. I love talking to you. It's so effortless. I love it. And I just loved it. Where can everyone find you, follow you? So I am Briny Deary on Instagram, slowly transitioning to Briny Bass, but I haven't quite taken the plunge. I am Notes to Self by Briny Bass on Substack. I gotta go on your Substack. The app is Pilates by Briny on the App Store, on Google Play, on our website. The seven-day free trial is via the website and then you can download the app. and yeah, you can buy the equipment on the website as well. Grace us with your presence anytime.

1:19:46Thank you for having me. Thank you so much. Thank you for coming on. The promise of you. Thank you.