Amanda Kloots On How To Turn Pain Into Purpose, Heal After Loss, & Build Unshakable Resilience

28:46It's my husband's song called Live Your Life. Please join me. And they did. And then everyone sang that song for 95 days straight. It was playing on the radio when he died. People were singing it all over the world. Nick's dream was to be a rock star. And you guys, he died July 5th, a rock star. Wow. That's an amazing story. Let's take a quick break to talk about Beekeepers Naturals, one of our favorite companies. We've had Carly, the founder of Beekeepers Naturals, on this show multiple times, and that is because we love the products that they are creating over at Beekeepers Naturals, specifically the propolis ingredient they're using.

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30:25Go to beekeepersnaturals.com slash skinny or enter code skinny to get 20 % off your order. That's B-E-E-K-E-E-P-E-R-S-N-A-T-U-R-A-L-S.com or enter code skinny. Beekeepers Naturals products are also available at Target, Whole Foods, Walmart, Amazon, on CVS and Walgreens. I am so serious about my hair growth. You know, it's just something that I decided to focus so much energy on and I am so happy with the results. My hair is longer, thicker. It's not shedding. All the things. I'm so happy about it. That has to do with organ meat, copper shampoo, copper conditioner. It has to do with scalp massage, going brunette, and it also has to do with supplementation.

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33:34So check them out. You don't have to be on this journey alone. Find support and have someone with you in therapy. Sign up and get 10 % off at betterhelp.com slash skinny. That's betterhelp.com slash skinny. So when he dies, what's... I mean, imagine there's a million things going through your mind, but where do you immediately go to? You start thinking about your son. you sort of like how do you start to think about moving forward you know immediately i just felt like i failed i will say like it was such a battle i felt like nick uh and his head doctor and i were in like a war together and when i finally conceded that his body was being completely run on machines and that his his mother and i looked at each other and we were just like it's not him anymore it's a shell of a human being and I think this is time it just felt like failure it was really it was really hard but sorry I make it emotional I think back in those days it's just day by day I mean it's still so fresh six years later and you're with his mother too I mean that's even yeah his mom was here still my whole family was here um i remember just like taking a lot of walks

35:06sleeping a lot thank god for alvis you know you guys he he saved me on a daily basis he still does but he's it was it was so helpful to have like somebody I had to take care of because it took you know uh I couldn't be selfish I had to you know support him I had to feed him I had to like put him to bed I had you know I had to do all the thing for him did it also feel like maybe you also had a piece of your husband with him? Yes. Not right away, but eventually, yes. A thousand percent. And now even like he's so much like Nick. It's so wonderful. And I'm so I feel all the time so lucky. It's terrible.

35:59What made you decide to write this book about your experience? I didn't. It was a happenstance. Lisa Sharkey, who is at HarperCollins, reached out to me and she had met me before. It was like, you should write a book. And I was like, what? I don't, I didn't even write a diary, you guys. Like I was not, I'm not a writer. I don't journal. And I said to her, I don't know. And she was like, you should write this down. And she's like, this is a good story. You're going to want this written down. And I said to her, let me think about it. I said, my sister is a writer. She's an amazing writer. And she has been with me.

36:44Maybe we could do it together. And Lisa really championed me and my sister to do it. And I'm very, very, very grateful for her. It was an incredibly hard thing to do, but I'm so grateful. I have this now for Elvis, especially like there's just things and details in that book that I would never remember today. You know what I mean? But having to do it right away after losing Nick, everything was so fresh that it just like flooded out. And it ended up being honestly, the first thing I did for myself therapy wise, I didn't even realize I was doing it. You know what I mean? That I was helping myself cope, but it was very, very helpful.

37:25And now it's like one of this something I tell any any widow or widow or anyone I meet, I'm like, just start writing. Like, even if it means nothing, even if you don't even ever want to publish anything, just write, like write down what's in your head. It helps so much to like understand and process the information, you know, when you have gone through all of this grief and you write this book about it. And then also I know that you speak about it a lot. How do you kind of zip up? Because I think people obviously want to come and share their story, which can be overwhelming because you're dealing with your own thing.

38:00Actually, it's the exact opposite. I love talking grief. And who would have ever thought? But I love connecting with people on their grief. It is so comforting. Have you ever talked to David Kessler? Yes, I've met him. I met him at a party and we had a brief little chat. He's amazing. And we need to chat more. He, he and I, yes, very much connected. And I, but I'll tell you what, guys, I instantly connect to any kind of widow or widower. Obviously, I, it's like a pain that you never want to have to know. But once you know it, it's, it's like an instant like it's like I can't not talk to you it's like I have to like you just understand someone instantly and I I really love hearing people's stories it helps me so much I you know a lot of people can't talk a grief because it brings up a lot of emotions and it does but for me it's just comforting it's healing I find it nice to know that somebody understands my pain and that we have a mutual understanding of of life and the appreciation of life and death what do you think the biggest thing you've learned from grief is if like that you were not aware of prior yeah that grief two things i think the first thing i probably thought right away is this is going to be hard but i'll be better in a year and i think grief taught me that i'll never be better I'm just going to live with it.

39:44Maybe you intuitively knew, though, that to get through it, you had to tell yourself that. Maybe. Or maybe it's something we're told. Right. And you think that you're just believing it because it's what you're told. And I don't even know when you're told that. But I think there's like a weird timeline that people put on you with grief that like, well, it's been a year. It's almost like it's framed as something you heal from like a wound. Like it closes up and goes away, but it doesn't. Yeah, I think that's a really good way to put it. And I think I even thought that. So I think that's the first thing that grief taught me, that it's something I live with.

40:25And then I think the other thing is how much it changes every single part of you. And it's okay because it's made me a better person. It's made me love differently and live differently and cherish things differently. But I would have never expected that either. You know, I just I it it changes you big time. I think something that's so inspiring about you is you could have just kind of retreated and laid around and, you know, really you were a victim. Like you could have really, you know, just stopped everything you were doing and you didn't. You really pushed forward. I mean, to me, like I you seem like you went and you just made this gorgeous career after that he would probably be so proud of.

41:20Was that something that you were sort of thrown into? Is it something that you wanted to do? Did it help you get over the grief? Yes, to all of those things. It's funny. I will say there's there's days where I'm like, gosh, why didn't I just, just lay there? You could have, you could have. I could have. It's so justifiable. And sometimes I even wonder like, why, why do you hustle so hard? Like, take a second. It's just, it's never been me. If I look back at Amanda at 18 years old or even 16 years old, I'm just, I've never been that person. You keep moving. It's just, I keep moving. And I think it's a defense mechanism.

42:04I think it's a coping mechanism for sure. I also think that I am just, I've learned to be resilient and I appreciate and like being resilient. I love being creative. I also love putting pain into purpose. And so I think that that's the other big thing that I've learned is like, okay, I have this pain. I'm living with it. Now I have to make something of it like I have to do something to to be better is is I think my just in who I am it's really very inspiring oh thanks when you started doing the talk after yeah and putting yourself out there like that what was that like you know you guys I watched a clip on Instagram today of Savannah Gunther coming back on the Today Show.

42:55And I was like, wow, no one understands how hard what that woman just did is. Like the pep talk she probably had to give herself in the mirror before she walked out on national television. I understood it instantly. And that I think the talk was a natural progression for me, I really think. But it gave me such a family when I had none. And again, it was still the height of COVID. We were kind of all just at our homes. And it gave me such a wonderful, fun place to go to every day. I got to get into a costume. I got to get my hair done, like my wig, and I got to go to my live Broadway show. It was like I was back on Broadway.

43:52And I was talking to five gorgeous women who made me laugh. And we didn't have an audience yet because everything was still, you know, zoomed and all the things. But it gave me a home. However, I was in the height of my grief. I was like three months out. I don't know how I did that, to be honest. I really, I don't know. That's that compartmentalizing, I guess, in me. But it did save me. And it was really hard. I mean, there were days when I was sobbing up until I would walk out on stage, but or sobbing. I mean, early, early talk episodes, I cry a lot. It's every episode. I was raw. It was very, very raw.

44:35Where are you at today? What does your life look like today? Oh, okay. So life today is pretty good. I will say I it's six years. And I've done so much work on myself, you guys, at that I finally feel like I've had I have a grip on on grief on what it's taught me how I know that it will forever keep teaching me things and how I have to keep moving forward. I have to keep healing and I have to keep striving for that. But I feel like, you know, very grateful for Elvis and our relationship. We have such a strong bond and I have a great group of friends and a huge, a huge support system here in Los Angeles.

45:30Thank God. And a community of people that still support and love us so it's it's been a journey but it's good not to get into the specifics of your dating life yeah but we had a woman come on who's also a widow yeah and she said that she started dating you have to give her credit for who this is yeah and and she she was just on and um she was saying that there was like this weird kind of like shame or guilt that was put on her especially from other on women specifically on widows yeah And, you know, she's young still, you're young still. And she's like, well, you know, what am I supposed to do?

46:05You just sit there and be alone forever? Or do you, so how do you think about it? Um, it is absolutely true. I did get a lot of hate and a lot of shame for when I started dating again. Um, a lot of support too, but it's there. And, you know, you guys understand this, like when you're in the public eye and there's like one out of a hundred comments that it's negative, like we don't get a negative. own it, you know. Our ratio might be a little different than one out of a hundred, Larn, if we're being honest. You know what I mean? And I'll tell you what changed it, though. I was so frustrated that I ended up getting on an Instagram live with a fellow widower who I met through the community of being a widow and widower.

46:51And I got on live right away and I just faced it. And I was like, you want to know what the face of dating again after being a widow or widower looks like? You want to judge us? Let's have a real conversation and let's talk about this and let's put it out there so that everyone that's shaming us and sitting on their couch and judging us for moving on or moving forward or loving again or trying again can see how hard and what it actually really looks like. Because it's not putting on your cute little dress and being excited about your date. Oh, yay. It's the exact opposite. You're sobbing to and from the date.

47:29You can't decide if you should wear your wedding ring or not. You feel guilty. You feel judged. You feel horrible. I had a panic attack after my first. I couldn't even drive home. My girlfriend had to calm me down in the car and come get me. I couldn't drive home. And yet people are going, oh, you pregnant again? Are you dating again? I'm like, what? You have no idea how hard this is. Where do you think the judgment comes from? Is it like their own insecurities? And what's the expectation of you? I mean, because like for me, like, I guess, like, I think more logically, it doesn't compute that you would just sit around and be alone forever.

48:01I mean, you have a ton of your life in front of you. Well, you know, to each his own. Some people can't or don't even want to try again or move forward, which is their path and their story. I knew when Nick passed away, I would want to try to love again. I knew he would want me to try to love again. I would want the same for him. so when I was ready I I didn't feel any of that guilt or shame um but I don't know people are very judgy as you know as you guys know and and I always I kind of feel like I'm the person like if you don't if you can't walk in my shoes then you can't judge what I'm doing you know what I mean like you want to spend a day in my shoes please I sure come come over put them on see what it's like no i mean like we joke with each other to say if something happened it's not a it's not a good joke but we say oh like you'd have to be alone but like if you're really if i'm being honest and you're and you care about the person something happened to me i wouldn't want lauren especially with the kit to just be alone like i would want i would personally want her to be able to continue to live a happy full life right yeah so to me it makes a ton of sense and i imagine your late husband would want you to find happiness again oh yeah for sure i i i I thought Nick was a lover.

49:18I mean, he loved me more than anything in the world and Elvis. But he would have I mean, if he could have spoke when he died, he would have totally said like, Amanda, you better. His mother did, which was the sweetest thing in the entire world. His mom, before he died, pulled me aside and was like, you need to find love again. Don't you ever think that we would not want you to be happy and marry somebody again. And I was just like, at the time I was like, Leslie, don't. And she was like, no, you listen to me. And I was like, wow, you know, she was amazing. You're also working on, this looks like a very cool brand called Proper.

49:59Tell us about that. This seems really amazing and positive. It is. Thank you. You know, I obviously have been in fitness and wellness for so long now. and you know you get to a point where you're influencing a bunch of other products and supplements all the time and I was and I'm a single mom and I'm running around and you're trying to be healthy and I just wanted to create something that was easy and efficient and good for people, that gave them some hope in their day that was affordable and made sense, that was made from whole food derived ingredients that was good for you. And so along came Proper.

50:51And I started it with five different supplements that you can, it's one scoop in your water or smoothie a day. and it's just it's for that person that just needs to do one thing to make them feel good about themselves that day. In my opinion, I think we're a little bit oversaturated with what we're being told to do. And, you know, you get on any kind of social media platform and everyone's like, you need this and you need this and you need this. And I think we've stopped listening to what we need. You know what I mean? Like if you really tune in and like, what does Amanda need? You know what I mean?

51:26Oh, I'm not, I'm not eating great right now because I'm traveling a lot. I need daily greens. You know what I mean? You might not need daily greens. Maybe you're eating great right now. Do you know what I mean? Well, I probably use a couple of greens. But you know what I mean? It's like, instead of listening to what our body needs and really being in tune with what I need in that day, we're just being told you need greens. Maybe you do. It's a hard thing to, you know, some of the you know the ratio of one out of a hundred critics of this show will say like there's so much in because imagine like you have talked to a lot of different people and experts and they're coming on and they say you need this supplement or that or i'm looking at fiber i'm looking at protein and they ask how we decipher and i think one you have the conversation there's a lot of different perspectives but then really it's like listening to yourself and figuring out what works for you what i was trying to tell people is like if you listen to all a thousand of these episodes which would be crazy by the way yeah like you should not be doing every single thing that every single person recommends.

52:23You got to step back and see what works for me. Like what makes me feel good? What do I need? I like, there's a lot of people that come on and it sounds great, but I'm like, I can't, like I can only do so much. Yes. I created this, you guys, I'm going to use my sister as an example. My sister lives in Houston and she has three kids. She is an Uber driver to all of their activities and sports and everything. She lives out of her car. She's barely at home. They eat a lot of fast food because she has kids and she's constantly driving from here to there and everywhere. She doesn't take care of herself.

52:55She doesn't eat properly. She doesn't have the time. And I created these supplements for that woman, that woman that just needs to go. I'm going to be in my car all day. I'm going to get a scoop of greens. I'm going to put it in my water bottle. And at least I did that. And or I need extra energy today and I don't want to drink another cup of coffee. I'm going to grab my energy boost, put it in my water, and it's going to make me feel better. And I'm making a better choice than what I could possibly do for myself that day. And it's not$150. It's$28. It's less than a dollar a scoop. I think that's so nice not to be overwhelmed.

53:33You got to shop the row on the RealReal. I always get the best pieces from them, from the RealReal. I love the row and the pieces that they put up are like vintage, gorgeous, lovely pieces from a couple years ago. There's also some new pieces too. And I have scored the most beautiful options. Everything from shoes to even these navy shorts that I just got. Margot Robbie was wearing them in the airport. I had to have them. I scoured the internet, couldn't find them. And of course, the RealReal had me covered. The second I went on, I found the navy shorts that I wanted in the size that I wanted.

54:10I was so excited about it. I wore them the other day to the farmer's market with like an oversized black long tee and some sunglasses with my hair down. And it was so good. And that is thanks to The RealReal. I also sell my own clothes on The RealReal. And I'm telling you, it's the easiest way to sell. When you sell with The RealReal, you guys, they do everything. Okay. They do photography, copywriting, shipping, pricing, customer service. so you can sit back and get paid. There are 40 million fashion lovers on The RealReal, so your items will sell fast. That's been my experience too. The RealReal is a smarter way to shop luxury.

54:45The RealReal is the most trusted name and authenticated luxury resale with over 10 ,000 new arrivals daily. No one does resale like The RealReal. And now, get$25 off your first purchase when you go to therealreal.com slash skinny. That's therealreal.com slash skinny to get$25 off. Start shopping now at therealreal.com slash skinny. This episode is brought to you by Zizol. I am so allergic to cats. The worst. And I use Zizol Allergy 24-Hour. Okay, if you're like me, if I like even smell a cat, I don't feel good the next day. So it's really important that I always have my Zizol allergy 24-hour relief in my handbag.

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56:48However, she remains unaware that her brother, Cam, Justin Theroux, is secretly maneuvering behind the scenes to reclaim his former job as head of the sports empire. To survive family power plays and intense board scrutiny, Isla must rip up her old playbook and create a new game plan to stay on top. The roster grows this season with star-studded guest appearances from Ray Romano, Max Greenfield, even Octavia Spencer, Nicole Ritchie, Scott Speedman, and Lisa Renna. They really have all the bases covered. You should also know that the Los Angeles Lakers, Jeannie Buss, and Linda Ramos serve as producers.

57:26Watch Running Point Season 2 now only on Netflix. Eden Rock St. Barts times The Skinny Confidential. This collaboration has been years in the making. I have been going to Eden Rock Properties for a very long time, and I fell in love with the way that they thought about branding. Every single detail. They don't miss anything. It's such an experience. And when I thought about what brand I wanted to collaborate with, Eden Rock immediately came to mind. So we went down to St. Bart's and we sat with their team and we conceptualized what this collaboration would look like. And so it's here. After a year and a half, it is live.

58:05The Eden Rock St. Bart's Times Skinny Confidential Red Ice Roller. It's in their signature red. It has a gorgeous, like, look at this. ah, silver roller. It's so beautiful. It's very summer. You know, I could see this in an ice bucket while you're on the beach, enjoying some rosé or a margarita goes right in the ice. And then we also launched mouth tape. So it's red too. So you're going to get those red lips, very summer-esque. And again, it's in the Eden Rock St. Bart's branding. And then we launched facial towels. Everything is limited edition. It's very exclusive. Once it's gone, it's gone.

58:45And these facial towels are plastic free. They don't have any formaldehyde in them. And they're so adorable to throw in your beach bag. I use them to wipe my kids' hands. I use them after an oil cleanse. This collection is so major. I'm so excited about it. And it's so fun to see the Skinny Confidential come to life in red. You can shop our collaboration at the link in the show notes or on shop skinnyconfidential.com. And if you're at the Eden Rock St. Bart's property, you can also shop at the Eden Rock St. Bart's boutique and the spa. Eden Rock St. Bart's, wherever you are. You're right. You go on Instagram and all those girls shaking on their vibrating plate.

59:23And you're one of those. No, no, no. I have something to say. I have something to say about that. Everyone's shaking on the vibrating plate. But then I talked to my girl who does my lymphatic drainage. Yes. And shout out to Irina in Austin. And she said, she goes, you have to open your lymphatic system before you shake on the plate because or else you're just shaking fluid around your body. Oh, interesting. So you go on. My point is you go on, you see everyone doing something you think you have to do it, but no one's even telling you that it's not even doing anything if you don't open your lymphatic system.

59:57Yes. So it is important, I think to really dive into what you're doing and make sure you take a look at it before just doing it. Here's the thing. We all know what to do. I look at all of these things as things to further enhance the things you should be. Like you're probably getting proper sleep. You should be doing something for your mind. You should be moving your body. You should be having good water. Yeah. Right. Like we know the other stuff is like in addition to, but if you're not doing some of those things or all of those things, like, you know, shaking on a plate is not going to save view.

1:00:24You know what, though, I will say is that we are lucky to live in these big cities, right? Austin, LA, New York City. We have a little bit more availability, obviously, and a little bit more awareness, right? You guys, so I'm from Ohio and the man that helped me create proper Ben Bennett, he's also from Ohio and raised by a single mom. And we bonded over this fact that like my mom. God love her. I love you, mom, so much. But she wakes up. The first thing that she does is drink coffee. Doesn't drink an ounce of water. Doesn't eat breakfast. What's with that generation doing that? I don't know. They love to just put the coffee down the throat.

1:01:06Can we have an electrolyte first? Yeah. By 3 p.m., she has a headache. She's tired. Her bones hurt. She doesn't know. She doesn't know. And I go, mom, have you drank water today? Amanda, I had coffee. That's not water, mom. So there's water in the coffee from her perspective. I'm saying this because you said we know what to do. My mom, whose daughter is in fitness and wellness, still doesn't listen to me. She doesn't do what she's supposed to do. It's like why I created this because it's like, just do that bed. Just put the scoop in your water. If that's the best thing you can do for yourself.

1:01:47Is she doing it now? She does when I'm home. Our parents' generation where I'm empathetic because my parents, same way, I think my dad's, he's turning 82 and he finally started drinking a glass of water. Like finally after all this time. But like they were the most commercialized mass marketed generation in the history of time, right? Like they got very few channels, right? There was a few channels on television that pushed all the same. It's why when you go and look at the nineties and eighties and it was like, it's so nostalgic. Everybody had the same thing and ate the same food because you went to the same stores.

1:02:19Now we have so much information and so much abundance of choice, but that generation was taught, this is how you practice medicine. These are the cleaning products you use. This is the food you eat. This is, and that was just like pushed down their throats from basically the late sixties to the early 2000s. And so, you know, a lot of them were sold like for the longest time I had to argue with my dad. He was like, diet Coke is good for you. It's like, you know, he would literally tell me it's better for you. And I, and I look back at it now. I'm like, that's insane. But if you look at the information they were being fed, also the medicine they were prescribed, the practice, like all of it.

1:02:53And so I'm empathetic to them now because they, that's just what they had. Same. I agree with you. My dad eats Oreos for breakfast and we do our best. I try to help, but I understand. My grandpa lived till 97 years old and he ate a bowl of ice cream every single night and no one was going to tell him not to. I heard that's actually good for you. I did too recently and I'm very happy about that. We recently had RFK Jr. on the show and that was received with all sorts of different feedback. I can imagine. But one of the things that I think is very interesting is that the tobacco companies took over big food in the 60s.

1:03:33Like when basically when we started pushing cigarettes out, those companies said, what are we going to do to keep people? And they bought into that process. So it was processed food, addictive food and all that. And that's like what our parents had to come up with. And so there was a lot of forces, I think, working against them to provide unhealthy habits that I think now this generation is starting to recognize and hopefully turn around. but yeah you know they were at the mercy of a lot of that agreed and i think that that is a really good point and i always tell people like if they say like what what can i do like you know what's an easy thing i can do i'm always like hydrate drink more water move your body sleep and stay away from processed foods i'm drinking proper's watermelon berry and it's delicious it's daily electrolytes and trace minerals definitely try that one um congratulations on everything you have going on.

1:04:26You also have a children's book that I'm so excited to read. Tell me your dreams. Tell me your dreams to my kids. You brought me that. And if you have not read Amanda's book, Live Your Life, it's a really good book. Thank you. And where can we find you? Where can we say hi? Only on Instagram, pretty much, guys. I'm technically challenged and that's where I put everything at Amanda Klutz. Thank you so much for coming on the show. Thanks, guys. And hopefully soon, like we'll be able to find you at other places other than Instagram. I know we're talking a little bit. Hopefully soon. Yes.