Chris Appleton On Finding Your True Identity, Resilience, & Breaking His Silence To Live Authentically

27:57And so I went to a bunch of different doctors and I told them that I was feeling really tired and lethargic. And they sort of all were like, well, it's postpartum. And I knew something was off. Like I could feel something was off, but I didn't know what it was. I brought it up to my annual doctor and I just felt like they were not concerned because they thought I was just dealing with postpartum issues. Well, it turned out that I had postpartum depression and anxiety and it wasn't just postpartum. And I wish I could go back and talk to myself in that moment because I feel like I wasn't being taken seriously.

28:34So that was very annoying. This is why I'm so excited to partner with hers. They're a positive force and they're really out to provide access to care that women deserve. What they do is they address key tension points of an outdated health care system. So if I had had this when I was dealing with postpartum depression and anxiety, I would have been able to get a clear picture of my health. And now you can get a clear picture of your health with convenient access and an in-depth holistic lab testing. So it's really cool. If prescribed, you get access to not a one-size-fits-all treatment plan. So it goes beyond that.

29:11It's beyond medicine. You get lifestyle tips for better outcomes. It's convenient. It's 100 % online, which is so seamless. And they also have ongoing support for weight loss. So if you're struggling with that, they're really amazing. And they also have support for heart health and menopause and more. As a HERS partner, this is exciting for me to share because if you go to the doctor and you keep getting the same result that they're not taking you seriously, this is a platform that you can go on and you can start simple. So what they do is they do a simple online consultation with a provider to see if you're eligible.

29:43So they really care about your whole process. The best thing about this, though, to me is it saves you time because I wasted so much time driving, parking, getting out of my car, walking in. I would run into someone like you're signing in for the appointment. Then you get to the doctor and they only tell you like there shouldn't be anything wrong. You're just postpartum. And with this, they use the approach of it's not a one size fits all. Like there's different treatment plans and it does go beyond medicine. And you do need to have different lifestyle tips for your best outcome. So if you're looking for support with weight loss, heart health, menopause, postpartum, you definitely have to check them out.

30:23Again, it saves you time and you really get that clear picture of your health, which we all want. You can check out forhers.com to learn more. That is ForHers.com to learn more. So I do this thing. Now I have protein before coffee. Okay. So I'll either have like two hard boiled eggs or some cottage cheese with some mango or kiwi, or I will have protein powder and the protein powder I tend to do when I'm in a hurry. And as a mom of three, I am running out the door a lot. So what I do is I do two scoops, you guys, of Paleo Valley bone broth protein. I am obsessed with the chocolate. That's my favorite.

31:08I like it so much that I have rebranded it as chocolate water to my kids. So they'll each do a scoop. The trick is to froth it in water. I give it to my kids. We both have our protein. I get 40 grams. They get 20. It's a win-win. The reason I like their protein too is it's made with real ingredients. There's quality sourcing. There's no junk. There's no fillers. It's also grass fed. They really like thought of everything. So I don't have to think of it. Do you know what I mean? Like I don't want to have a protein that I'm eating every single day and giving my kids that's filled with a bunch of artificial fillers and sweeteners.

31:43I just want to keep it simple. And that's why I like this protein. Paleo Valley is known for its bone broth protein. You guys probably heard it. Can't go wrong with the chocolate. They also have vanilla, but just don't sleep on the chocolate. I sometimes will aggressively order it as quick as I can to whatever hotel I'm staying at. I'm obsessed with it. You can head to paleovalley.com slash skinny or use code skinny at checkout for 20 % off your first purchase. That's paleovalley.com slash skinny or use code skinny at checkout. You know how I know Viore's good? Because Sandy Brockman, my trainer, is so obsessed with what flatters the body.

32:20She's so good. She has such an eye about how to flatter the body. And she was like, Lauren, you need Viore leggings. And so I tried them. And not only did I fall in love with their leggings, I'm doing black right now because we're still in the midst of losing baby weight. But I also fell in love with their tops. They like hug you in. They're tight. They're black. They're amazing. Everything matches. It's a set. I just put like a little sweater over my shoulders. So I have my Viore leggings. I have my Viore tank. and then I'll just do like a little black sweater over it. And it's so cute. And then I'll do like a pop of color on the shoe.

32:55So the other day I did like a neon orange and it looked absolutely major. If you're unfamiliar with Viore, you have to check out this brand. It's truly an investment in your happiness. Okay. They're very specific when it comes to designing a look beyond the gym. So if you want to run errands like I do, or go grab a sparkling Americano, which is my new drink of choice, or you want to meet with friends or go to the office, you can do that so seamlessly after you work out. So I'll lift weights and go straight to the office, which is awesome. Get yourself some of the most comfortable and versatile clothing on the planet at viori.com slash skinny.

33:30That's V-U-O-R-I dot com slash skinny. Not only will you receive 20 % off your first purchase, but enjoy free shipping on any U.S. orders over$75 and free returns. Get 20 % off your first order at viori.com slash skinny. If someone's listening and they experience shame, when and how did you release the shame? Because when I see you today, I feel like you're very grounded and I don't feel energetically that it's there anymore. So did you release it? Yeah, I think there was a point. I tell this story and it didn't happen too long ago, but I found myself being in situations that I just didn't like the outcome of.

34:10I kept finding myself in situations where I was like, I really need to change this pattern. So I love some therapy. I have a great therapist called John, doesn't like to be mentioned, but he's an amazing guy. He works with a lot of people. I don't think you can get his number. I don't know how I got his. One day someone gave it me. Anyway, he kind of saved my life in many ways. But I remember him saying, all right, you know what, we're going to go back in time a little bit. And I'm like, all right, mate, let's go. Like, fuck it. I'm just really not like, so I'm sitting there and he's like, you know, I want you to close your eyes.

34:42And I'm like, oh my God. So he's like talking about, can you remember a young memory of yourself? And I was like, yeah, I do remember one distinct memory. I was like six, seven years old and I was standing at a window. I'm one of five kids. Life was always crazy and chaotic, but I remember being in the bedroom. I was looking outside. England, it was pretty gray and green, pretty wet, but I remember just feeling really sad. So he's like, how do you feel? I said, I just remember feeling kind of alone, I guess. I remember that feeling. It was quite a strong feeling and I remember feeling different.

35:11I was dyslexic. I wasn't understood. I wasn't like my brothers. I wasn't quite like my sisters. So he's like, well, if you could go back to that little boy now, what do you think you needed to hear? And I said, what do you mean? He said, the adult you now, if you could go back into that memory and you could say something to him, what do you think you needed to hear? And it just softened. I just broke. I couldn't stop crying i was not just crying it was like ugly crying for weeks i kept sensing what did you do to me like a release well because what i said i was like i i think i just wanted to know it's going to be okay and that although you feel different now and you don't feel like you blend like one day that'll be your superpower so stick with it but no one ever told me that and i think i realized how mean i'd been to myself my whole life how i'd abandoned that little kid exploring doing things that kids do to to do what society what I thought was the right thing to do and it never allowed that kid to feel safe and I think that was a moment of like shame for me although it sounds quite deep it's just about connecting back to yourself and like I could feel my feet on the ground I could feel my hands on the sofa and I think I could feel the air in my lungs you know it was it was just like my shoulders went down because I was just like god I've been so fucking mean to myself.

36:36For what? For everyone else to prove these kids at school wrong, to prove the people that told me I would never do the cover of Vogue and laugh in my face, for what? I never allowed myself to truly be. And I think that was a big part of me letting go of shame, realizing that you can love yourself and it doesn't have to be an arrogant or big headed thing. It can just be a kindness to yourself. I still catch myself. I do it all the time. Like I'll catch myself and I'll be like, fuck that one piece of hair is out of place. Like, fuck I've ruined it. The biggest moment of my life was probably the Superbowl in terms of like visual people seeing my work on Jennifer Lopez.

37:16I had so many people message me after that. It was crazy. I had a huge jump in like followers on social media because usually it's little things that make a difference. This was the one time I've had a big jump in something. I went home that night everyone went out and celebrated i went home cried didn't go out and was tearing myself apart because she had this one piece of hair that fell in front of her face and it got stuck in a lash she was trying to get it out and i couldn't enjoy the performance after that i was like i ruined it the hair ruined it like i completely beat myself up but in learning likely the only person that noticed that 100 but aren't we so conscious of doing that but in learning the things i learned about how i speak to myself like instead of being that way now like yeah i still got those moments, but instead of the volume of that hater inside your head being at like a 10, I can turn it down to a two and I can acknowledge, I'm just doing that thing I do where the haters in there and you kind of tell yourself apart and I can come back to like my adult self instead of being like that, I guess that younger version of myself.

38:12And I think we all do that all the time. The most time it happens I've seen in my life is when women or men sit in my chair in the hair salon, they usually look in the mirror and they're kind of like, it's the one time again, you stop and you look and you're kind of looking at your alignment. Like, is this lighting bad you know you're like fuck i look bloated like god my eyes are looking so tight do i need do it do you know how many women do this do i need they're like this like because it's the one time you're really just looking at yourself you're really like checking everything out and i think that's why they say the stylist chair is like a therapist because you're kind of a little bit vulnerable you know you're kind of like should you know today you should i change my should i change my hair should i change the way i look like i asked a big cape and then you got their hair is all matted down and well you look like cousin it the hair is wet it's like yeah i could see why people are like oh and i think that's why people open up so much in the stylist chair you know that's why but i realized it was so much deeper because even when you spoke about going into different areas and different looks and changing their hair you could see people were so programmed to be like no this is what i'm supposed to do this is what i'm supposed to have once you break free of that it's really powerful and you can really like grow and evolve but a A lot of people get stuck in this one place in their life that they carry the whole life with them.

39:27I'm so curious, based on your childhood, how you parent differently your children. Yeah. What things do you do differently as a parent? I just think me and Kate, although it was very dysfunctional in terms of like, I was gay and we broke up with still best friends. She had to obviously go through her process of healing. I went through mine. and but you I guess as a unit we stayed together as a family and we've always been that way we just spent Christmas together and it was a real full circle moment because I brought a place in the UK and for a long time I couldn't go back to the UK so I told the story about moving to the US and finding myself well when I came back to the UK for work or jobs I literally would be in the car having I'd have a panic attack full but I couldn't with the tightness in my chest I'd have tears and I think what the fuck is wrong with me I don't I didn't understand it but it was like post-traumatic stress.

40:19It was like the thought of going back to that guy that I'd avoided for so long, that version of myself, I couldn't. And again, like in healing now, like I've actually brought a house in the UK, I can go back and celebrate with my family and create a new story. And again, the book is about like, it's never too late to make you come back and transform your life. And I was standing with Kate on New Year's Eve. I had my arm around her, the fireworks were going off. And she was like, you did good, Chris, you know, you did good. And there was a point in my life it could have been very different and yeah very different i wouldn't have been there if i hadn't made those changes so like i say i hope other people realize that they can do that too what is your relationship because i see i see your beautiful daughter all over your instagram with your kids now today oh yeah my parents well i think we have like a very open honest relationship they've visually been exposed to so much of my life because it's on the internet yeah i mean i got married on kardash you know i mean they've seen so much of my life they've lived it and we've always had very open and honest conversations.

41:15I'm actually really proud of them. And like, I was actually home at Christmas and there was a situation that had with a family member where it's funny. You think you're good, you're healed, but it's such a journey. Cause like one person said something to me at the dinner table and I was back to like 12 years old. And what are your siblings? Yeah. They just, what they said, the way they said it. And I was putting my head down, I'm thinking, God, like this is, are we still in this place? Are we still here? Yeah. You know, cause you realize when you, when you do the work, you realize a lot of people around you.

41:44Some people like to just stay comfortable and they don't want to do the work. They want people around them to change. Or they want you to, or they want to hold you back and keep you the same. Totally. I'll be really honest. I actually left, I actually left the table and I thought, you know, I need to get out of here. My initial reaction was like, I need to go back to LA. Like I need to, I'm trying to like start a new beginning here. And it's just like, people don't change. I need to get out of here. And it was actually my daughter that inspired me because. she said she came home and she was like dad look i love you and i want you to know that the way that person spoke to you and the way they actually spoke to her she's like i'm just going to draw a line and she's like that's just the boundary i just want you to respect because i want to keep that person at a distance and it doesn't mean it has to be awkward but that for me is just like not what i want in my life and i just want you to sort of know that and she's the sweetest girl and i was like uh yeah i was like yeah that way okay yes well i'm like yeah what So I was like two things.

42:38One, I was like, God, I think we did a good job. And two, like, yes, you can be 21 and like respect yourself and set boundaries. I never thought you could do that. So I think hopefully in the mistakes I've made, I've also educated them to maybe know to expect more for yourself. Cause I didn't know I had that voice at a young age. I think that's also sometimes hard for people when they're changing or working on themselves is unfortunately not every circumstance, but a lot of times family members are the ones that actually try to hold you back from that change because it's uncomfortable for many of them.

43:11Not everyone. Again, sometimes there's a lot of great and supportive families out there. This is maybe not the case for everyone, but there are instances where family members - We're not talking about my dad who thinks I'm a professional tennis player, ski instructor, super model. That's different. Wait, why does he think that? Just because he loves you? Well, it's called delusion. We call it different things. But it's also a nice kind of delusion because it's very supportive and loving. And you'd want that instead of the reverse, which is like, hey, you can't do anything and you'll never get anything, right?

43:43But no, I think when family members sometimes see people changing their lives and improving and saying, hey, I'm not going to kind of repeat the pattern and I'm going to do things differently and I got to break out of whatever's going on, that is also uncomfortable because it's a reflection on the family itself. Totally. but i mean be honest guys have you obviously you guys have been together how long a long time a time before time existed just a long time but like do you guys ever see anything in your dynamic your relationship of how you speak to each of our how you behave that you've recognized now that you inherited as a young age from seeing your parents and you know that doesn't actually work and there's other ways of doing it of course no of course i mean listen i was raised in a very in a household where it was like there was plenty of love and support but there was like an expectation right right you know my i've said this is a running joke on the show my mom my my grandmother's full japanese one of my mom's half japanese and in many asian cultures like you don't get a lot of praise it's it's like if like for example if you're a little kid and you go hey mom like i i went upstairs and i brushed my teeth today like i think you're a little like it's like yeah of course you're like you're supposed to you're like i got an a on my report i'd say yeah of course yeah it's the other stuff it's like if you fall short and so i think in our relationship i can't we just had an argument in the car this morning it's like can you be more complimentary can you can you initiate more praise chris i said when you bring me my coffee in the morning that sometimes you forget could you have it stack it with a compliment so here's a theme for the day coffee and a compliment nice yeah that's okay so but that is how did you take how did you tell did you take that as a criticism of course no but but first but but but the thing is i'm validating what you're saying the it is easier for me to go and like do the things get up with the kids like do the things that you know i i think are expected of what a husband and father should do without i don't need acknowledgement for it but it's just because that's what you do but it's hard for me to then be like oh but i also need to do the like i have to think about obviously you struggle with that maybe emotional part because that's not what you got as a kid so So to be giving you a, you're like, well, of course, why would I do that?

45:55Yeah. And again, I never didn't, I didn't ever not feel loved by my parents. And they're very complimentary of me as I've gotten older and they say many nice things. But I even, I'm empathetic to them. Again, as you get older, you're like, okay, well, they probably didn't get those things. It's just inherited. You just, so then you start to realize, okay, like with my kids, I want to do more of that. But at the same time, I'm also like, you know, I don't want to praise them because they brush their teeth. It's like, you know, you also, there is an expectation. everyone in the room, Carson and Chris agree that a coffee and a compliment is the easy little way to get a little romance in.

46:29I think it's nice to keep it spicy. But I think that is the best thing about relationships is a mirror. And unfortunately, that's like the dog side of relationships as well as like you get to see a mirror. Because sometimes you see things you don't necessarily like. Well, why would I do that? I've never done that. I never saw that as a kid. It's just not broken in your head. And I think you just have to be open to like, that's important to that person. so although it's just not necessarily something i would naturally do i'm going to work on that and but vice versa there'll be something that means something to you where you're just like what you know and that's the give and take relationships how would i give a compliment after i get my compliment in my coffee i think the it's kind of princess behavior but obviously that's what you got i'm getting from your dad that you got the princess tree i love this i've thought about the order a lot of my life it's like coffee compliment blowjob great yeah well that's i mean come on yeah i think that's nice i have to have like you know the pop love dog thing with the you know they like do the thing i need i'm fine with that but coffee compliment blowjob can i have a sip of i think that the job of an evolved person as you go through life man whoever is that you have to you have to break patterns that are not like you can't just say like oh well i was raised this way my family was this way i'm this way right like you know i used to get hit as a kid so now i hit as a kid right like you but you know how many people do that sure and i think that's in relationships you know how many people end up breaking because they don't want to change people like don't want to change their habits they don't want to stop and go okay so i mean all the conversations i've had like i had great parents i thought a very normal upbringing but like there's certain things I inherited that just like don't suit me now you know because I moved away from it as well especially when you go back to it you can really see it but I think a lot of people just are so comfortable in like their own habits and they don't want to change because change is hard yeah so I saw a bad relationship someone cheated this so like that's what I do in my relationship no like the job is to acknowledge the thing and I think that what's interesting as you evolve and as you as you grow one you you're empathetic to your parents because you realize they probably didn't have...

48:34Of course. It sounds like your mother had it. They did the best job. Yeah, they did the best job. But just because their best job is not like... Your job now is to do an even better job. I think each generation should strive to be better than the last. Because there's so many more tools now to enable people to have that. This conversation would never have been had 20 years ago. People didn't talk about feelings. When my mom's mom and dad died, she read it on the front of a newspaper. No one told them they were dead. They didn't get to go their funeral they didn't do therapy they just got on with life like that it was that was just life then that's unheard of now but you know what i mean so like everything conversations need to happen to keep things evolving and you're in the last thing i was even just thinking as you were telling your story we're of similar age but we come from the generation where it to be a gay man or woman as a child like it was a taboo thing like going through school and i think a lot of the younger people listening to this, like what?

49:26It's, I don't want to say normal, but it is not as taboo as it was when we were all growing up, right? And I think this conversation that we just had today for sure was not taking place when we were in grade school. Exactly. Thank God for shows like Heated Rivalry because that's changing the dynamic. It's making people feel, you know, it's creating healthy conversations and relationships that it's just a love story. And it's not just like, well, they're gay. Because it was almost like, even like we've like Brought Back Mountain or certain films, it was like just gay people watch that. Like a straight guy wouldn't necessarily watch it.

49:58Whereas now so many people, and this Heater Ravel is so mainstream now. It's so refreshing to see that. Tell Michael what it is because I can tell he doesn't know what it is. It's a love story. No, I've seen people talking about it. Oh, you have? Yeah, I mean, listen, I do pay attention. I mean, we have a lot of shows on Dear Media where people are, it's like a very popular show people are talking about it. Totally. I'm not going to say I've been in the weeds. Do we need to watch it? Great. You should absolutely watch it. Yeah, but it's just the, you know, the idea. I've been watching the Kardashians.

50:21I've been watching you. So now I have to switch also to this. You know, I've never watched it. I've watched like a couple of episodes in my whole time of, I think because I'm on it, I just don't watch it. I don't know. You look great. Oh, really? Yeah. Do I get the filter? You look great. You look amazing. If there is someone who's listening that's hiding a part of themselves, what would you tell them to do? I think you're the perfect person to ask on this show. I think first of all, it's just about acknowledging that something's wrong. and a lot of people don't want to do that so i write about the book as a chapter about saying the word fine like the four-letter word fine i hate because most people use that as a facade how are you feeling i'm fine how's your relationships fine how's work fine how's your financial situation fine finds out fine is just then fine because it's really just a facade of like don't look at me i don't want to acknowledge it i don't want to deal with it i don't really want to talk about it and i think the first step in making a difference is accepting that something's wrong because if something feels wrong it usually isn't you just got to explore what that is like i say it might be your marriage you might just be fucking miserable people move on and evolve that's okay it might be your job like maybe finance isn't for you you were told to do that but you've always wanted to act i don't know it's it's about living authentically and what actually works for you and i think it's just the point you need to get to of like looking in the mirror and really looking and seeing if you're aligned with what you're seeing on the outside and how you feel on the inside because that's usually when you know something's off one thing i do not forget when i travel is my bee propolis this is like an essential when you travel i spray it on my throat every single time i travel every single time i feel like i'm getting sick my kids use it i am obsessed with beekeepers naturals so much so that i have invited the founder on the podcast twice because this is such a hack to use their B propolis spray.

52:15It's honestly amazing. It kills germs on the spot while supporting your immune system. It has 300 plus essential vitamins, antioxidants, and bioactive compounds. My kids love it. It tastes amazing. I love it. Like I said, it tastes amazing. And you get your daily dose of immunity, but you also get antioxidants like flavonoids, which we want because this fights against free radicals and it combats stress. But the most important thing, you guys, is it helps defend germs on the spot. They have a bunch of different things that I like on their site, but if I had to start with two, I would start with their best-selling propolis throat spray that I'm talking about.

52:56They have one that they just launched that has slippery elm in it and menthol. So if you want it to be like cooling on a sore throat, it's really nice. I also love their little shots. They give you energy and I feel like they give you a lot of clarity. Today, Beekeepers Naturals is giving our listeners an exclusive offer. Go to beekeepers.com slash skinny or intercode skinny to get 20 % off your order. That's B-E-E-K-E-E-P-E-R-S-N-A-T-U-R-A-L-S dot com slash skinny or intercode skinny. Beekeepers Naturals products are also available at Target, Whole Foods, Walmart, Amazon, CVS, and Walgreens. Did you guys know that almost 90 % of new parents on Bobby are combo feeding?

53:34So they're using both breast milk and formula to feed their baby. This is not talked about enough. So whether you're exclusively formula feeding or you're combo feeding or you just want like a backup can, Bobby is the formula that I trust to deliver safe, complete nutrition to my baby's bottle. Here's the deal. We got to interview the founder and Bobby's organic. it's european style and it's clinically crafted to mirror breast milk so this is really like very interesting if you want to get nerdy with me it has naturally occurring mfgm dha and choline to support brain development it also has a 60 40 way to cast in protein blend for easy healthy digestion and the best part is every single batch goes through 2 000 plus safety and quality checks before leaving their U.S.

54:26manufacturing facility. It was also named top choice by Consumer Reports after extensive testings for heavy metals and chemicals. If you're looking for a formula that's USDA organic, EU organic, and Clean Label Project Purity Award winning, you have to check them out. If you want to feed with confidence too, head to HiBobby.com. That's HiBobby.com to find the formula trusted by parents and loved by their babies. 700K and counting. Go to highbobby.com. Quick break to talk about cachava. Lauren and I are so focused on our health and fitness goals always, but this year in 2026, I'm really kicking it up a notch, wanting to get the proper supplementation, the proper protein, and I also want to make sure that I'm getting it through the right kinds of products.

55:11High quality with high delivery systems. This is why I love talking about cachava. With just two scoops, you can get 25 grams of protein, six grams of fiber, which is so important, greens, adaptogens, and so much more. What I like to do is make my personalized smoothie that I have pretty much every single day after I work out. I love the chocolate flavored cachava because it goes with a little bit of cacao. I also add a little bit of whole milk. Then I also add in one banana and a little bit of spinach with some blueberries. This is going to make an incredible protein shake that gives me 25 grams of protein and fiber.

55:42What I've noticed since taking cachava is I have a great amount of energy, which supports me all day. I also have great digestion, which keeps me regular with the fiber and the probiotics. And of course, I'm building strength gains and muscle. They have all sorts of essential minerals, which is going to help with cognition, and it's going to help nourish your immune system with their vitamin C, zinc, and probiotics. It's non-GMO. There's no soy, no animal products, no gluten, and no preservatives. Cachava just provides clean nutrition to fuel wherever your day takes you. No fillers, no nonsense.

56:09So like I said, just add two scoops to get 25 grams of protein and six grams of fiber. You can try Cachava risk-free with their love it guarantee. Thousands of rave reviews. Don't Just take it from me. So check them out. Stick with your wellness goals. Go to cachava.com and use code SKINNY for 15 % off. That's cachava, K-A-C-H-A-V-A.com, code SKINNY. Introducing the Skinny Confidential Ice Roller. Reimagined. Think sleeker lines, a softer pink, a custom buttery dust bag, and a silver roller, not pink anymore, that is ice cold. I wanted to do a zhuzh on the iconic ice roller. I wanted to update it.

56:51This ice roller for me has always been more than just a tool. It's about helping us de-puff and sculpt and calm the skin in a way that feels intentional. And I wanted the ice roller to feel evolved. It's changed. You've changed. So yes, the new gorgeous, stunning, beautiful ice roller is still going to do the same things. It reduces puffiness and redness in your face. I used it this morning before I put on my makeup. It definitely helps with the under eye bags. Of course, it helps boost circulation and radiance. I just feel like it really helps stimulate blood flow and gives me that tighter, more radiant skin.

57:27And then it also is known to give you a smoother, tighter looking skin. So what I like to do is I like to combine facial massage with cold therapy. And this really helps give you a really nice foundation before you even apply your skincare. this ice roller for me is a full circle moment I think that a lot of you bought the ice roller you know five six years ago when we launched it and now I am launching something that feels more in alignment with where you're at it's so beautiful you guys like it's just softer and more effortless in every way and I really put my own touches on every single little step from the packaging to the colors to how it feels to even the roller.

58:13It's all been elevated just for you. So the ritual, the Lauren ritual is you do cold therapy to help fight inflammation. You roll it, you glide it across your face. I put it on my jawline, my neck, I roll it down. Your skin is just going to appear smoother and tighter before you go in for the kill with the skincare and the makeup. Don't skip the cold therapy. The new ice roller is an upgrade designed to meet the standards of today. And I hope you guys love it as much as I do. This is the beauty tool that started it all redesigned to evolve with you. I'm showing it on YouTube too. If you're on YouTube, if you're seeing me visually, get it while it's hot at shop skinny confidential.com.

58:53That's shop skinny confidential.com. You were had a very public relationship. It was on keeping up with the Kardashians. It was very public. You guys broke up. When you look back with, you have foresight now to look back. Is it foresight? Hindsight. Hindsight. You have hindsight to look back. What would you have done differently? Or are you so happy that it happened the way it happened and you have the tools now to move forward? I don't think I have any regrets in my life. I've done things in my life that I don't think worked for me and I've learned a lot from them. I think it was probably more about hope.

59:30I don't think it's always about... Some people think going fast is about being reckless and that is what's pushed out in the media. Me personally, I think I was actually more just hopeful that love wins and love is enough. I think I learned truly love really isn't enough. I think you have to have alignment. I think in all the relationships I've been in, on reflection, I've gone into situations where I've been it was easier to have someone there than to be alone because I don't really want to face myself and I realized that I give love away that I should be giving to myself and made it all about them and I think probably my toxic trait was thinking I could fix people or wanting to even engage in that you know like hearing that people wanted to be better versions of themselves and I could encourage that and bring it out and because like I say in a job it worked great professionally I made a whole career out of it but personally like and emotionally like I was starving myself because I was just giving to other people what you know I should have given myself I think now I mean I've been single for two years and it's been a really happy two years it's been a really fulfilled two years where I think for the first time in my life like I'm comfortable being on my own I'm I'm happy I feel settled I feel so protective of my life now I've got two beautiful kids I've always been protective of them but just not of myself being in that environment so I'd bring things in which didn't serve me.

1:00:53And, you know, I think you have to learn. I think there's a lot of lessons that I've learned that I now I'm incredibly protective of people that come into my life. And also it's like buying a house. You know, when you buy your first house as a kid, like, well, 19, I was, however old you are, 20, 25, 30, like you get a house and you're like, I love this place. Got doors and windows, man, I've got my own space. I can do what I want. But then like, as you buy houses and you move along, you realize you're, I guess you refine your taste. You're like, ah, you know, I really don't like those small windows.

1:01:26I really hated living in that dark apartment because I always had the lights on. So every time you kind of get more refined. So the amount of houses that you could actually live in, it's less because you know your taste, you know what you like, you know what works for you and what doesn't work for you. So I'm at a place now where I guess the pool of people is smaller because I know where I'm at in my life and I know what I want and what I don't want. Whereas I think before I was just like, oh, this is a house, I'll live in it. Whereas now I am, you know, way more selective and you should refine your search.

1:01:53You should learn everything I've been in. I've learned so much from and tried to, you know, evolve from that. I don't like to make the same mistake twice. When you have had the experiences you've had, you know, you've had different houses, you've done a different relationship, you've had a family, you have kids. I think that the reverse of that is true as you age, if you have not had that. For example, if you get older and older and older and you haven't experienced all those things and you're getting more and more particular and you're not open to things, I think that can be a slippery slope.

1:02:26Totally. Because then all of a sudden you're like, nothing's ever good enough. So what he's saying is he's saying that you've had all these experiences so you're able to refine. You've based this off of trying a million different things and now knowing what's right for you. A lot of times people... Isolate. and they don't try enough things, but they get really particular about what it is. And then they miss. Like we have a dating coach on here and she was saying like one of the biggest problems with some of these online dating platforms is the filters that people use. Like trying to filter out a million things.

1:02:58I love to give a FaceTime. I like to just check. Do a FaceTime. Yeah, and if they don't answer, I'm like, that's a problem. Not even the filters of the look, but he's saying like the filter, like you have to be this tall and this and you have to weigh this. Meaning like they miss a whole population. Do you know what I love asking? I'm going to ask you, Ty. I'm going to ask you too this question. this is the first well it's not the first but i usually get into this on the first date so i'll ask them what what your toxic trait is do you know what your toxic trait is i have a few just give me one come on i can be dismissive i can stop let's dismissive all right that's cool but that's good because you know that about yourself so if is that been told to you by your partner or if you is that come up in arguments conversations no like i i know you know i talk too fast sometimes i come off as not listening here's my one of my biggest toxic traits is i am listening and i really am paying attention but i don't acknowledge people so it's it looks dismissive and like i'm not paying attention did you catch yourself do you catch yourself that like that's a thing sometimes yeah no i know and i can see sometimes when i meet new people they're like fuck is this guy paying attention and i am but i just i don't know how would you explain it that's good i think you explained it great so what's your toxic trait well i only have one my toxic trait is the silent treatment really oh my god that's the death i hate that because i hate it it's not even that i'm trying to use it as a weapon just shut down yes you are no it's that i can't give any of my capacity be honest we're having an honest conversation don't try to use it as a weapon i can't give my capacity she's giving you i need to give my capacity to other things so if someone's draining my energy like i can't give capacity like if if a text message comes in and it's 65 pages long or a voice note for three hours like i can't drain my capacity so i just don't i can't but again like are you in a place in your life now where you know you do that you can catch yourself i'm doing that thing i got it it's not that healthy 10 000 comments on tiktok about how toxic it was.

1:04:56But at least now you can acknowledge and you can catch it. Look, you're always going to have these traits. I'm always triggered all the time thinking I can fix people, wanting to help people be a better version of themselves because I've realized in relationships, it doesn't matter. You could tell me you're a billionaire. It doesn't mean you are. Whereas I think before I'm like, oh, great, you know, cool. I mean, not that I care about money. I don't at all. I'm giving it as an example, but people that would say, oh, you know, I know I have this problem, but like, I want to get to this place. And I'm like, oh, you know, I can help support that.

1:05:25Whereas in actual fact, I think people tend to be who they are, unless they're actively working themselves in therapy, doing the work, acknowledging it. A lot of people, it's like saying, oh, I really want to be fit and go to the gym, but just not going to the gym or going twice and being like, that's it. So you go along with the delusions of grand bar. Not anymore. I'm allergic to it. Even if I try now, I'll still see things sometimes. And I know the dynamic I'm attracted to and I'll catch it and I'll be like, oh, cool. And then I'm like, no. So you would be attracted to - It's like an alcoholic.

1:05:52it it's like once you've done the 12-step program i can look at a drink and i can be like nice so in a relationship if it was a person and they were like a fixer up or you'd be like oh i'm the guy to fix this up like that and you would be attracted to that i think i was just attracted to things that in all my relationships like things that like i guess were it felt exciting and it was lots of highs and lows and i could help them be a better version of themselves because you know that's what i was told they wanted and you know just overextending myself overextending you know and accommodating and it's funny because in my career it worked like you know your acts of service you're doing that all the time you're providing you know i don't walk in and jayla's like how are you i'm like well i'm fucking tired because i've been promoting this book and my voice is you're just like i'm great thank you how you know you're there to provide a service but to an extent you know in a relationship you can't sometimes you got to be allowed to be seen i think I never was really seen.

1:06:47I just always provided. I also think with you too, because you are around high performers all the time and you yourself are such a high performer that you're constantly seeing these high performers get better and better and better. Like you watch the Kardashians and you see Kim doing the law school thing. Like that's gotta be so inspiring to you that she's already like at the top of the mountain, but she wants to go higher. And when you're around that, like subconsciously it's rubbing off on you and you're also a high performer clearly with your book and what you're doing and so when you see someone and maybe I'm wrong but when you're dating someone and maybe they're not a high performer you want to help them get there yeah totally or if they want to be I don't know I think I've always just when things have happened where I should have just probably realized that that's not right I've stayed for too long and maybe not just saw it for what it was tried to see maybe a fantasy version of it like because i think i probably i'll be really i think i saw that when my mom and dad i think they both come from traumatic childhoods my dad got put in a home when he was five and they've lived together their whole lives and you know they have their thing going on but a lot of it was about survival it was like stay together for the kids it was about you know put the kids first and you know i think there's lots of stuff that they pushed under the rug which some stuff just wasn't okay and they probably should have separated.

1:08:10But there was too much fear around separating because when you've lost a family from such a young age, your family, you want to keep the dynamic together, you don't want to break it. So I think I inherited some of those things. So just stay in just for the sake of it. And not really just, like I say, my daughter, when she came into me and she's just like, hey, dad, love you. I just want to put this boundary in place and move on. I'm like, cool. And she does that with her boyfriend. They have a great relationship. He's really avoidant and And she's more anxious attachment. And they both recognize that.

1:08:39And they tell me this, they do therapy. They talk because they want to understand each other. They have a great relationship. They really love each other. But there's certain times like in confrontation or something where, you know, she needs more reassurance and he's just shuts down, which is like, that doesn't work. It's like this push, pull. So now they've both acknowledged they have these things and they want to kind of just meet in the middle and kind of understand each other a bit more, which is, I think, so great. I'm like, go for it. I love it. What does it take to date Chris Appleton at this point?

1:09:04What is on your menu? I think honesty is really important to me. Let's put it out in the ether. Honesty? Honesty is so important to me. Okay. I think someone that's really passionate. I don't care what you do. You can work at Starbucks. If you love what you do, I love that. Okay. I think someone that's fun. I love to laugh. I think it's really important. But I think probably one of the most important is just the intention of someone saying and knowing who they are and truly being that and not just trying to give me a version of themselves that they think I want to hear about. I think that's really important.

1:09:36And someone that I know just wants to live life. My end goal in life is to die with memories, not dreams. You know, I want to live my life and see it. I try and practice being grateful. Like every day I try and just think of something that I'm grateful for. And it's easy to be reminded, but even just to be here now with you guys, I'm grateful for this experience and this opportunity. I'm grateful that, hey, after like 30 years, I brought a book out about my life. I'm grateful I get to share that with people. I'm grateful that like my kids are healthy. I don't know. There's so many things in this life.

1:10:05you only have to pick up your phone and go on Instagram or TikTok and you can feel like why have I not got this why have I not got that so I think gratitude is really powerful are you grateful that Kris Jenner wrote the forward oh my god how great she's so sweet I did she called her before we came here we had a little chat as we got things coming up this year I was like you know what 2025 was a good year for you Kris because that phase and then she's like oh I'm she's so happy she's just having a good time it's funny when I first did a hair after I'd only done a hair last year after all the years I've known the family I'd never done Chris's hair I'm kind of scared she's like I had I had stories you know like you have to be there on time she's very prompt you know and I'm always a little late I mean to that a little late I don't know I think it's my ADHD I'm like I've got time to do this I'm the same way yeah I'm like oh look look at the birds anyway we're in Paris Kim has a robbery I was with Kim when that was when I first started working but when she first got robbed so then fast forward what is it 10 years later we're in Paris again and she's going for the trial.

1:11:04She's like, do you mind doing my mom's hair while you're there? That's how long it took for them to do that? Yeah, it takes forever. So I'm like, yeah, sure, I'll do it. But then everyone's like, I'm like, so, you know, I usually find out what's Chris like, you know, and they're like, well, she'll be there. You know, the call time's at five in the morning. She'll be in the chair at 4.45. So don't be late. So I come in, I'm like, I'll be there at like, I think it was there at 4.45. And I was like, that to me is like, you know,

1:11:32And she's like, just blow it out. And I'm like, nah, why would we do that? Like it took me 10 years to get my hands on you. You've got this new face, which looks amazing. Let's do a wig, let's do something different. So we had so much fun. Like I remember doing something different to her. She had like the bob, it was like the slick bob. It was just like a little longer, it was still a little different. And she like, well herself, you know, she was like, all right, you know, she's Chris Jenner and she's like feeling a little different. It's exciting when someone sees you and can kind of help you get to a different place and where you're at in your life.

1:12:05So we did this event with each other a couple of months ago, and she actually started crying when she was talking. She got really emotional because we were talking to an audience of people about when I first did her hair. And she said, you know, I've had this short pixie haircut my whole life. And Chris looked at me and was like, let's do something different. And she said, I'm just so grateful that you saw that in me because, you know, most people would just keep her in a box. We love to keep people in boxes of like, that's what you do and that's what you have. And she's like, you saw me and gave me the opportunity to grow.

1:12:33And she's like, I'm so grateful for that. And now she, you know, for her 70s, she had her hair pinned up and she's always doing something different now. And I love that. But like, it's never too late to transform your life and make you come back. And if anyone's an example of that, it's Chris, you know, she's having a great time doing it. You know, who's pixie cut we're going to transform? Michael Bostix. I think so, right? let's go you guys i feel like the heck guys for anyone that i get texts about this haircut this problem there's an issue in marriage with the hair she doesn't like first of all everyone needs to go buy the book your roots don't define you it's on amazon i got the kindle version and i have the hard copy as you can see on youtube it's completely bookmarked it's a really good book i really enjoyed it i wanted to talk to chris again he had come on the show the first time and this conversation's been amazing.

1:13:20So thank you. Thank you. Thank you for doing this. I really wanted to come back. I actually, I think I DM'd you. But I was like, yay, this will be amazing. You never answered it for ages. It's like you, it's on the silent treatment. Was I doing the silent? No. Hey, you know what? I'm going to be honest. I'm not in my DMs as much as I should be. No, and I, thank God you like set, like pin, like I'll just go on Instagram. We have another guest coming later this afternoon. Like, and I, you know, I was like looking at, and I was like, okay, let me go on the social. And I went to the DM and I have messages from like 2022.

1:13:48And I'm like, oh, and I feel like shit. When she comes on, I'm like - Look at you guys having a life. But you know, I just, the problem is with the D, it's, the DMs can be a dangerous thing. Yeah, but when you're single then, aren't you? Yeah, I'm sure. I'm sure you have a lot of blue check marks in there. Some of the things people say. You know what? I imagine if you're single, you're in the DMs a lot more. Wait, hold on. I have to ask one more question and you can just say yes or no. Is there a lot of straight men that are DMing you? Yes. It's a yes. yeah I mean it's interesting that or are they straight Jeffree Star already told me about this he told me off air yeah I mean it's interesting what you see in your DMs compared to real life I was going to say because when I go into a gay bar I don't ever get the thing that says you don't belong here people are pretty nice to me in the bar when I go in you do get looked at I would say more by gay men than women listen it's appreciated it's nice to be acknowledged he's a hot guy He's a great ass.

1:14:43I get it. I will say people were much nicer to me when I lived in West Hollywood. And now I'm out here in Texas and it's a little bit harder. I don't know. So we're going to do a live haircut on YouTube. Not a haircut. Hairstyle. Hairstyle, yeah. With some products that you spot. Requested by me because I can't. We got to mix it up. I will say I'm supposed to get a haircut tomorrow. So you're getting me at like the tail end of like the longest, most out of control. So should he go sit right here, Chris, where she's sitting? Are we really doing something? Yeah, we're doing it. We should get a chair.

1:15:15We won't make it to the audio. So if people want to see this, they got to go into the video. Okay, before we go though, just give us a wrap on where to find you and purchase the book and all the things. So Chris Appleton won, my social handles. And if you want to get my book, it's a linking bio, but it's available on Amazon, HarperCollins. And it's for anyone that's ever said, is this it? If you want to transform your life, create your comeback, this is for you. See, fun read. It's definitely got some exciting stories in it. Make you laugh, make you cry. and yeah it's a part of me that maybe people don't know.

1:15:44Congratulations. Thank you. No easy thing.