Emma Grede Gets Personal On The Cost of Ambition, Self Mastery, & The Truth About Success

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36:38I know it's geared towards primarily women, but this is applicable and great advice for men as well. Oh, I think so. And there's some men on this team that are like some of your biggest fans. And again, like I think the things you are saying, yes, it can help a ton of women. I know that's who you're primarily speaking to, but it's just great advice in general. I think so, because I started the book by writing what was easy to me, right? Like building a brand, leadership, career, money, like that. The staff was like, I know this. That's what I've done for years and years. And I've been really successful at it.

37:08And I intrinsically understand that. So that was like the starting point for me. I added those other parts of the book on because I was like, this is actually the stuff that's stopping people in their tracks. And we all know that feeling of fear. It's not that I don't get it anymore. It's just I've learned to manage it and I've learned to use it almost as like a signal. I'm like, when I'm scared, I know there's something good there. Like I am 100 % sure that all the things that I do that are like a little bit troubling to me are the things that I need to do to move myself forward. And I think that that's applicable to anyone.

37:42I've found and Michael and I were talking about this this morning very successful people are really intentional what are things to you that are a distraction and get brutal oh things are a distraction um you know I love alcohol and a good drink so I think as a kid I really had to like stem my enthusiasm for like partying for sure and I'm lucky that I live you know in LA where there's not that much of a party happening, guys. Let's be fair. What happened to the party? Listen, when did you come here? I came here nine years ago now. Eight or nine years ago. Okay, well, that's so nine years ago. There's still kind of a party going then.

38:19Not as much. I've been invited. The party's a little... Not like a Europe party. Not like a pizza London level, like 6 a.m. No, we don't have things like that. But there was a period of time, I would say... No, it's not like Europe, my gosh. Between 2010 and 15 were maybe the golden year. The party has kind of gotten quiet here. It got quiet. I mean, they had the day here, but, you know, I feel like if you ask me what gets in my way, I love to have a good time. I think I'm really lucky that all my best friends are in England, and I'm not distracted constantly by going out or being at a thing. That's really helpful.

38:53What about micro-distractions? Meaning, like, I'm just going to make this up. So, sure? Sure. It could be like a gossiping mom at school. Like what are your micro distractions? No, I don't. That you don't, that you, I'm saying that you avoid. That I avoid? I'm not saying that you were taken. Also, I avoid social. I avoid all mom groups. Like literally. That's what I mean. Like no, I've got the nannies on the mom group and they text in my place. Like I can't. I can't. I can't. Well, the mom groups out here in LA are wild. I was looking at some of the, speaking of articles. I had to move to Austin because I couldn't do it.

39:28Really? Couldn't do it. They are so, listen, God bless those moms groups and the class moms and the whole thing. I'm like, God love them. Like, I just can't. Okay, so those are things that you don't partake in that you think are a distraction for you. They are, for me. Okay. Absolutely. They're a big distraction for me. And social media, you said. Yeah, because social's a tough one, right? Like, I actually, I'm such a people person. Like, I love people. I love the chat. I love the gossip. I like to know what's going on. I like the news. But to me, it's like if it becomes like overly, it's not even about negativity.

40:02It's like I don't like anything that consumes me. I agree. Like I like to be in control. And so, you know, it's like I never got into TikTok. Like I've tried. I think I don't know if I've just aged out or whatever it was. It's like I just never got the enjoyment. I love a little Instagram skull, but that just never happened to me. And I really think it's just a bad use of time. You know, I have this trick. I turned my phone black and white. So like, it's not just the social, it's the camera. It's the, all the AI apps that are on there now. There's like this sort of never ending playground on my phone.

40:33I'm like, dun, dun, dun. I did that one. Do not pull out your phone with your ex on it. Do not. That's my dog. You are, that's your dog. You are on ex. Oh, I thought you were on ex. Oh, that's what I was like. I was like, oh my God. No, no, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, no. No, but I, you know, we go and speak at schools sometimes because, you know, now, and I'm sure you do as well, like this is a new way of doing business, a lot of these platforms of people. And what I, what my main thing to the people we speak to, which by the way, half these schools wouldn't have even looked at my application.

41:09They're just thrown right in the trash. Damn right. But I say like, you got to decide if this is a tool or if you're being a consumer. And if you're just a mindless consumer, then you're using social the wrong way. Totally. Because you're just being sucked into the endless scrolling of, you know, nothingness. Yeah, and listen, I like the news, but I don't think that social is where you get your news from. You know, again, I'm very purposeful. I wake up in the morning. I read the same publications every day. What do you read in the morning? You've got to tell us what you read. Oh, all the boring stuff.

41:36Not the Wall Street Journal anymore. I do actually read the Wall Street Journal. And I will continue to read the Wall Street Journal, even if I don't love all their headlines. But, you know, each to their own. They're very good. But I do. I read the FT. I read the Wall Street Journal. I like The Economist because I like to have like an outside of America viewpoint on things. I am a consumer of the news. I listen to the Daily, like the New York Times. I love that podcast while I'm getting ready. It kind of brings you up to speed on what's happening. You run your household like a military operation.

42:04Like a military operation, babe. Let's hear it. I want to know all the things. Well, I'm just very scheduled because when you have four kids, if you're going to have like 45 minutes in the morning together as a family, which is what I aim for every day, which is usually 30, but the aim is 45, you have to be scheduled. So my thing is that everyone needs to be at the breakfast table at 7.30. It doesn't matter in what state. So you might have a kid half dressed. Nobody has their hair down, one shoe on, one shoe off. But it's like, let's get there because then we all basically leave by about 8.15.

42:34And you can have this like nutty breakfast moment. But it's good because you're together. You're chitting and chatting. I'm checking in. I'm understanding what's happening. But I am up early. I wake up naturally at like 4.45. I work out. But I'm an early bird. I'm just wired that way. I think it was the paper route as a kid. Like I just... It must have been the paper route. I'm just like, I'm an early bird. So it's like I get up early. I work out with a trainer. I get ready really, really quickly. I have like a uniform. So it's like I'm not putting outfits together. It's like the outfits are down on a Sunday.

43:03What's the uniform? Well, it's like usually like jeans and a nice top, a black pant and a nice top. You see me coming out of the elevator. I re-wear the same thing all the time. Okay. So it's like I have my uniform. I go downstairs. I have that moment of getting ready. I'm out the door at 8.15. I get to the office between kind of like 8.30, 8.45, depending on the day. And then I'm just in meetings back to back to back all day. But I leave every day at five. And what that allows and what it creates are the conditions for everybody else to leave at five. Because for me, that like I said, that bedtime, that nighttime routine, that's important to me.

43:36I want to bookend the day and make sure the kids see me and I have a check in with them. And I have that like lovely little moment where they're a bit sleepy and nice. and I put them down. Sometimes like all the time I go back to work, you know, I'll be back on email or going out for a dinner. But I am really, really militant about leaving that office at five. If somebody wants to talk to me, they need to be like coming in the elevator with me. It's like there is no like 10 past five, five past five. When I need something done, it has to be done. And what about when, when how do you run your team of employees when it comes to your day to day?

44:10Like, is your assistant knows certain things? I want to know more about the infrastructure. of that. The assistant knows everything. Tell us. I need some tips. Everything. Okay. So the point is I have like a little and lovely army around me. So I mean, it's really interesting. So I have an assistant who is like right by my side. So wherever I am, she is. And then I have somebody who's kind of, you know, I have like a chief of staff who is around everything. Like I don't manage nannies or anybody in my house. I have somebody who kind of looks after that. And then I have very, very good people in all of the companies and managing every division of every company.

44:53And so I am in constant contact with each of those people. I don't run like I don't have like one company one day. I do everything all the time. That's just like how my life. And what I think when I hear that, I think that is so strategic because it gives you even more time with your children that's purposeful so you're not managing all this stuff to perform at the level that you want to perform at and you you tell me you have someone who manages the nannies that takes that off your plate so you can be more present yeah I'm always trying to figure out ways that I can be more present with my kids instead of me trying to do everything myself I talk about this so much in the book it's like you have to accept help yeah and I think what happens often is people and I mean like help from everywhere I am not like I expect my husband to help but it also means that i don't you know it's like i have to check my masculine energy at the door my job all day is telling me what to do i'm sure you do it very well judging by he's yeah um so it's like but it's important right it's like i'm not going to micromanage my husband if he is getting a kid dressed i'm not like put the thing on turn the thing around i'm like just like deal with the bad outfit deal with the child like slightly you know more disheveled than if i'd done it myself So it's like I'm also not trying to manage people to do the stuff that I've outsourced them to do Do you know what I mean?

46:10Like that's important. You got to give the task away And you got to let it go and you got to accept like 85 % sometimes Oh, I mean like I imagine similar to our relationship your husband knows exactly who he signed up for and what he's like I think so. I mean he would have got rid of me by now I mean like I could see sometimes the comments come in or like we're joking or you're not cooking I don't expect her to, what she's building and what she's trying to do, I know the sacrifice and the time that it takes. So I'm not sitting there being like, where's dinner on the table? I get what it requires, right?

46:42So yeah, we need help. And similar to what you're doing, to build extraordinary things, it requires a tremendous amount of energy and sacrifice and time. My favorite thing is to postmates McDonald's french fries and put them in a gorgeous silver Kristoff face. It's beautiful. That is so nice. She's like, look at this. Little organic ketchup. I did that. I did that. because you know like i would never want her to not build the thing she's excited to build out to like put you know i can listen i can i can postmates or go to dinner i can hire you know how is your husband synergistic to you what is his what are his traits that you feel you're not as strong at and what are your traits that he's so many we are very very very different like jens is not like an operator he is a big picture strategy guy jens is like vision he's like overarching like you know genius like guy like this i'm like in the weeds i'm in the stuff i'm like like looking at the componentry of the bra like i am choosing the zip like do you know what i mean it's like i am extremely operational and like in it every day that is just not what he does and so we are very very very different in that way i speak to everyone and i'm friends with everybody and i know the names of everybody and jen's is like who's that i'm like oh dear she's been here for you know five years um do you know that's just not what he concerns himself with you know he's like wow you have a lot of fun with your team i'm like yes isn't that the whole point of life he's like not my life you know so it's just we're just very very different how we come into the workplace how do you guys this is another selfish question sorry but i feel like everyone will like this how do you guys manage travel with four children oh that's an interesting one so we very we're very rarely away at the same time it does happen i only have one family member here in la my amazing sister katie beth and when those times happen like she will come and be with our kids so i need to give her like no notice i'm like kate we fucked up the schedule me and yens like we're crossing over in new york for two nights and i need and she's like i'm there like i'm gonna be with your kids i never ever leave them with just our nannies i mean what do you do when you travel with them oh with the children yeah oh it's like you know it's like the obamas are coming or something it's like three suvs because we've out you know there's you've got it dialed out yeah but i always travel and again i don't like to not tell the truth about this like even when i travel I travel with my help.

49:14I travel with nannies that are going to make that easy for us because I am always working. When I get on a flight, that's my work time. I'm not like chowing down on a Disney movie with the kids. Like that's even on a, even on a family trip. We just came back from Hawaii. I worked the entire five hour flight. I find this so refreshing. Oh, you do? I don't know if I've, it's, it's. Well, I think because a lot of people lie about it, right? For me, it's, it's like, you're right. A lot of people lie about it and they're not honest. Yeah, we can't do that to each other. No, we can't. You're not encouraging women to accept help if you're not honest about how much help you have.

49:53And listen, I know that I have extraordinary means, right? It's like I have a lot of privilege, but it's like when we talk about taking help, that can be anything. That can be having other moms at the school help with you. That can be like, you know, getting a meal service in. it can indeed be you know ordering fries from mcdonald's maybe they're not going in a silver christophe thing but you know you're still ordering the fries do whatever it is for you to get through the day but don't apologize for it because that's the worst part even the fact that like people have to apologize for having means after working hard like i think like i i always take issue with that because i'm because i feel if you've made sacrifices that most people won't make and you work in a way that a lot of people don't want to and you are the beneficiary of financial success because of that like you shouldn't you shouldn't be you shouldn't have to say sorry for that well that's why i live here in america darling because it's a lot different and listen i people talk about this all the time right it's like i often get calls from my family in europe and they'll be like goodness what is happening in america come home darling i don't know that I buy that, right?

51:04It's like we all know the issues with America. We all understand the political climate in which we find ourselves. But there is not a country in the world that I could have had this type of success in, in this timescale. Not in Russia, not in China, not anywhere, not even in my home country in England or any other European place. The beauty of this country is the way that it is set up and has traditionally been set up to embrace people, to let you feel like you can come to America and if you work hard enough and you do a good job that you can make it like I am the living breathing American dream and I thank like God the country the people here for that every single day so what we've got to make sure is that we don't take the very thing away that makes this country which I think is like the best branded product on earth America the idea of America we want to make sure that we don't take away from this country like what is really really good about it and when i think about my journey i'm like how does it get better like how does it get better than someone who comes here and can do that and can have that journey i just like i thank god every day that i came here that's well said yes and i and no very well said and i and you know we we have a lot of european friends and a lot of the sentiment from many of them now if they don't come from generational wealth or big families is that it's just so hard to stand and one thing that a friend of ours said he's a french guy and he said in america everybody believes that you can make a bigger pie like we could all figure something out and you make something bigger in europe everyone's very like on your own don't want to partner don't want to they just it's a different mentality people are open for business here yeah that's the big difference i came here and people are willing to listen to your idea they're willing to take a chance on you none of that like you know stuff that sometimes stays with you is is is as much as a problem here now Listen, we all know this country is full of systemic issues.

52:57Like, it's undeniable. But what I'm saying is for the most part, there is a lot of opportunity here. And if you put yourself in the right position, then there is a lot of advantage to actually being here. Actually, we have to stop complaining about because it's not like that in the rest of the world. How do you stay humble with how much success you've had? I don't. No, no, I'm joking. I think so. I was joking. I was joking. I feel like the you I've met today and the you I met, I don't know if it was four or five years ago. It's very, it's, it's, that's refreshing too. How do you stay humble? Because I always believe that, you know, it's not mine.

53:38You know, it's like I, you, everything can go away tomorrow and you always have to stay one step ahead and you always have to remember where you came from and you have to work really hard. But I'm not so arrogant to think that this doesn't all go away and that something better doesn't come and take my place so I don't know I'm you know I am a really simple straightforward person like I'm me in every room I walk into and and I think that actually that's really a huge benefit to me you know it's like I don't shape-shift because I don't have to I'm just me and I'm pretty consistent and I am always I'm always working like wherever I am it's like I'm always going to try the hardest I'm always going to be the nicest I'm always going to work the most I'm always going to try to be excellent because that is what's worked for me so far so I don't see any reason to change that you know what's so crazy to me on this book tour I have met three journalists that used to work for me three three people that in some way shape or form have crossed my paths and worked in my companies before and it's so cool because to me it's like oh they remember me as yes somebody who had like you know insane and sometimes impossible standards but they learned a lot from me and they liked me and I treated them well and that says a lot like one of the things that when you don't have much you have to understand what you have is your reputation like that shit means something so how you treat people how you leave people feeling like that stuff really matters so when you don't have a lot, which is like where I started.

55:08It's like you can take that. You can take your reputation and build on it and build on it and build on it. And that you'll never lose rightly or wrongly. And hopefully it serves you. But I think the way that I have come up actually has really served me well because people know I have really good intentions and they know I'm a good girl. We all have a Lululemon story, don't we? I feel like we all can pinpoint when we discovered the brand. For me, it was years ago. I want to say, gosh, I was in high school. I just would always go to the Lululemon in Carlsbad and shop in person and get all the different colors and the black leggings.

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1:03:17Get it why it's hot at shop skinny confidential dot com. That's shop skinny confidential dot com. I remember years ago Jillian Michaels came on the show. It's a strange example. Yeah, strange example. She basically was like, listen, like not everyone's going to like me. Not everyone's going to agree with me. I'm going to rub a lot of people the wrong way. But I'm going to be exactly who she is so that nobody's questioning where I stand and who I am. Fair, fair. And I think like what I think what's a struggle for a lot of people, especially if they're front facing is there's like a facade and they try to keep it up for a really long time.

1:03:46Maybe they're not treating people well. They're not treating their team well. They're doing things behind them. And then that shit comes out and it's like the whole... It's a disaster. It's a disaster. And it always comes out. It's a disaster. It always comes out. By the way, it always comes out. Who does it not come out for? It always comes out. It always comes out. But when she told us that, I was like, okay, well then like the blueprint is like you just got to be who you are, say what you think and be honest about that and you're not going to win everybody but at least you don't have to fake it and try to keep it up.

1:04:10It's not sustainable. Through writing this book, you must have gotten a lot of DMs and women coming up to you. What are some old thoughts that you call them that people have come up to you with? All the time this happens, like people imagine that you can kind of network your way into some possibility. You can't. You cannot. Like literally you cannot. And this idea of like not being invited, not getting you know into the right conferences not sitting on the right panels not being at the right table like it's just and it is rife in like the world of female entrepreneurship and so you have to understand like that is not a thing like it is just not a thing I also really get frustrated when I think about women and money and our inability to put money in the center of our plans we spoke about this when we last met but that like women that are giving their services away for free i had this lady like dm me and say every sunday she does a pilates she's a pilates instructor and she does like a pilates instruction class and she does them for free because it's about the good vibes and the energy and i'm like what the fuck are the vibes and the energy like girl that is your time that is your skill you have earned the right to be here and you need to charge people for it there's nothing wrong with that there really is nothing wrong with it but somehow we get trapped in these ideas that to be good to be a good woman we have to like you know be i don't know like think about things in a way that is just like you know not about charging and you know it's all about the energy and it's all about what you put out it's like no one is coming to pick you out of obscurity and i actually have a hot take i actually find and this is my own life so take it or leave it yeah that networking is a waste of time for me i i what if i have time to put towards my business networking's not on the list well this is so here's the thing right yes i agree with you i think what what people have mixed up is networking and building a network to get shit done you only need a network right you need the manager the agent the publicist the lawyer the manager the thing the thing the thing that is your network the bank manager the vendor the factory that like that is the network not like networking not some other bitch that's doing what you're doing she's not helpful on and you're going no the badge forget the badge if it's got a badge don't like that's not the thing i can guarantee you if it comes with a badge it's not worth your time let's just say that right if you have to have a badge you have to sit on the panel if you have to put makeup on to do it forget about it like that's not the thing but your relationships your credibility your reputation like that network that you're building that's worth something because when shit hits the fan in my business I can call people up and go hey I need the following thing that's useful that's my network at work and that you do need to be effective in business this is why I think it's a good idea for young entrepreneurs to start a podcast because if you're networking on a podcast at least you're also giving someone uh the gift of a platform and you're also yourself on your own platform making content.

1:07:20So if you want to, I feel like there's strategic ways to network without putting the badge on. Yeah, listen, there's so many ways to do it. You know, I came up working for free back in the days when you were able to hire people and they would come and do work experiences for you. And that was so valuable for me because I went around finding all of the jobs that I didn't want to do, but I also made a bunch of contacts. And every now and again, you know, I will meet someone and they're like, oh, like I met you when you were at that PR company in the cupboard. And I'm like, yeah, so you did. And you were an arsehole.

1:07:50And by the way, I'm not going to do business with you. Or you were really wonderful. And now, like, thank you. And I'd love to do something together. So it's like there's so many different ways. But let me tell you what you can't get around. You can't get around the work, right? You cannot get around the work. That is just a prerequisite for success. And there is times in your life when you are going to go like 150%. And there's times in your life, like you're just nine months away from having a baby, where you might have to take your foot off the pedal for a few months and be like, I have different priorities now.

1:08:22Your life happens in seasons. Your work life and your career happens in seasons and that's okay. But this idea that somehow you're going to circumvent the work and somehow I found an extra hour in the day and there is some unlock or some secret, like that is not going to happen ever. I know you said like you do like manifesting, but you don't spend a ton of time on it. What is your actual manifestation practice and vision board practice as Emma? Okay. So I'm going to really beat this one to death. Beat it. Beat it to death. So I think that having a vision for yourself is different from vision boarding and manifestation.

1:09:00So when I talk about this idea of having a vision for the type of life you want, for the type of person you want to be for the type of mom, the boss, the thing that is about thinking about what do I want my life to be? How do I want to live? Are you writing down the vision everywhere? I am planning and writing it and all of the things. And so the reason I'm saying yes to manifestation, absolutely. Like imagine it, but be concrete. Don't write, I want to have, you know, a million dollar house, like figure out how to make a million dollars. You want the systems. You've got to have the systems. You've got to have the steps and you've got to understand what it actually takes.

1:09:39And so thinking about it, listening to all the podcasts, like going and watching the experts, like that's not going to work. You have to put yourself in motion. You have to do the action. You've got to be that person who's going to take a little bit of risk and meet your fear and actually do the thing. That's what I mean. It's like so it's like you have to once you've got a vision for yourself, you then got to break that down and say, well, how? What next? How do I? You can't like sit there and be like, I'm waiting because no one's coming to save you. Like literally no one is coming. Do you know what I mean?

1:10:14Like no one's coming. Oh, I know what you mean. I love this shit. So you've got to get up. That's the very idea of starting with yourself. it's like how do i activate the the muscle for self-leadership how do i become the type of person that i would admire like that is all within your control that isn't about systems that's not about the outside that's about like what type of woman am i no but i mean like even like running a company i'm sure you've seen this somebody will come and be like i am ready to be on the executive team but i would like a hybrid work environment with these hours don't even get her started on this we know but and i'm not a hybrid person but i want to look at these people and listen everyone should be able to do and work how they want to work but if you're saying that you want this outcome and you're doing this behavior that doesn't map to that outcome that other people in that role do you you can't you're not going to manifest your way to it no and you're not it's not realistic but can we talk about it like because again listen we all know the comment that i said and we all know apparently it was like this terrible thing but i want to kind of Which one?

1:11:14I actually don't know. Oh, you don't know. When I spoke about work-life balance, right? It's like work-life balance is your problem. That's what I said. And that's what I got. Why is that controversial? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. But it is. And it was. But let's just talk about it outside of the context of just purely work, right? Because if you want to be successful, proximity and visibility is a must, right? To the decision makers, to what's happening, to the pace of like the business. You got to be there. Like if you're not within my vicinity you're not going to see how i move i can't recognize i can't recognize i can't distinguish their face if i just meet them on a computer i can't do it are you giving them a pay rise if you can't distinguish them no but i can't exactly i come in and they're like it's me and i'm like i can't tell i have to see you and feel you and your energy and know you i'm not touching people and know you know what i mean i have to be able to see facts right i can't put your hands down stop doing that stop doing it like this i have to see you and feel you put your hands I mean, it's like screen blindness.

1:12:13When I see a million little things on a screen, I can't. And then someone comes in and it's like, it's me. I'm like, it's hard. But if I met you in person and spent time, it's a totally different thing. It's a totally different thing. But I want to take it away from the context of just work. Because I think that what's happened in this search for balance, which, by the way, I talk about so much in the book, it's the wrong goal. You're not actually looking for balance. and when we talk about this idea of what it means to have flexibility and work from home of course I understand that people need that but if you remove yourself from like in-person life if you're like working from your living room and you're getting all your food delivered and you're living in social media land you take out all of the amazingness of life like I met my husband at work I met some of my best friends at work and so forget this part of like getting ahead and getting you know pay increase and like you know having this kind of rat race of a career it's like what about your life what about the guy that you might meet in the coffee shop that you're going to dress extra cute for tomorrow because like you're like oh my god maybe you'll be there what about the little interaction that you have with the lady in the store like forget about that piece like we are in a moment right now birth rates are down marriage rates are down there's a loneliness epidemic in the world.

1:13:29Remember I said this on the show to that woman and she almost walked off the show? Oh, well, we're not going to walk off. But you know, it's like when you think about what work and proximity gives you, it gives you a life. It gives you connection. And by the way, every single study that's out there about longevity will tell you the number one thing that we need in life as humans for longevity is connection. So even if you don't want to go to work and be in the office, leave the house because you need people and you need people to like live and you need people to thrive and you need people to fall in love with and you can't get any of that on a fucking zoom you know agreed um i don't know i don't i want i won't even go on screen on a zoom i don't know i i'd rather meet in person it's so much more effective if you follow much more effective yeah scott galloway at all i love scott we love him too he's been on this show and one of you know we're talking about alcohol earlier and how a lot of young people young people are just not drinking as much i know and he was saying like yeah we know it's bad for us but but he was saying that the doing it and the social interactions you have and the inability that comes being a young person going out is actually maybe better for you than just abdicating from alcohol in general and not having those interactions.

1:14:36Totally. Now, what are we living for at the end of the day? Like, well, you want to be like 85, alive and miserable. It's like, I'd rather have a couple of drinks, have a great time and die at 77. That's a very specific number. 77. You're not before that. let's say 97 whatever the number is but it's like you don't yeah what what how many years is that going to be very do if i'm 97 that's a lot of years that's a lot of years that's like 50 more to go no longer out of all the amazing experts and celebrities and famous people that you know because you know a lot of different people i've been around what is the most sound amazing advice that one of them has given you that's really resonated oh there have been so many good bits you know first of all like I'm obsessed with Mark Cuban I feel like the reason I did I love okay so he's like he's the vibes he's the vibes because he's the real deal like he's another person who like wherever you see Mark if you're filming Shark Tank or I you know like bump into him at South by Southwest or you know like whatever it is a basketball game is where I usually see him um you know where he literally is interacting with the players and the referee in real time I'm like oh my god did he just speak to the player like mid-game but Mark is someone who I find like he doesn't change he's such an authentic person and when he talks about raising money and he calls it an obligation there's no truer thing said we've really romanticized what it means to go out and raise capital and what mark says is like it's an obligation suddenly you are obligated to somebody else and your company and the decisions are no longer your own and i wish more people heard that because again this idea that to be a successful business that everything has to be a billion dollar unicorn like that's not so i have friends that have like a lovely business that employ five people they pay themselves a good wage and like that's an amazing company if you ask me like we've got to get out of this idea that everything needs to be like so big and so crazy so I love Mark for that I love Melody Hobson who is like my girl crush amazingness Melody's incredible she was the first ever episode of my podcast and she is this incredible she actually runs a big private equity fund and does a lot of big investments like billions and billions and billions of billions of management and she spoke about when like coming into a situation with honesty and she said but it never needs to be brutal honesty I can give you honesty without being brutal and I think that's really important because when you're building a company like everything feels so personal but if you're not honest with yourself you're not honest with the people around you like you actually won't go very far but there is never a reason to be nasty and I think that when you um when you think about like what it takes and how much you're going to need people like being a good a decent person like having a high moral baseline is actually one of the most important things that you can do in business and it really serves you because it comes back to you like over and over yeah and you learn that the older you get because you realize that if you burn your reputation down quickly you're not gonna have much longevity you see people come and go all the time especially in this like media space right start with yourself a new vision for work and life who needs this book you know i think that so many people need it i wrote the book that i needed at 18 at 25 even in my early 30s there's a lot of business books out there there's a lot of business books that are written by men not nearly enough by women but certainly not by high school dropouts who are moms of four and so i wanted to kind of add my collective perspective to the wisdom that's out there.

1:18:30And I really think that there's, you know, you don't have to be a woman. I think that there is a lot to gain from this book and there's a lot of understanding to be had, but I wanted to write something that people can use, not that they will just read. It was supposed to be something that you read a chapter and you go out and do something with it. And that's what I care about the most. I'm like a results orientated person. I want women specifically to take this and to use it to get somewhere. so much of our audience are people who are looking to be the best version of themselves i would recommend this book you guys i know i highlighted a lot i was bookmarking it marking pages in my in my edition what's the edition called the before the book the galley the galley the papery edition the paper and then i accosted your team to get me a new one well you got you gotta have the nice version also i i know this is like random but it really like looks pretty too So it's something that you want out like on your desk.

1:19:22That's typical for me. I went with the publisher who would allow me not to have my face on it. I think that's very smart. Not that we don't love your face. I mean, you don't want my face on the book. No, I like that. I wanted it to be like, you know, you could put it on your coffee table, on your desk. It's like a shit thing. Nothing is done without reason. Always. No, it's intention, baby. Emma, three and a half times on the show. Everyone go follow. go get your book where can they get it Amazon I'm assuming they can get it on Amazon they can get it on emmagreed.com all the places and of course I did the audio book which was see that's the move when people pitch their audio book and they haven't done it and that's that robot voice oh no like fuck that I mean seriously you need my voice you need your voice you need my voice also who could do this in this voice do your kids have the accent no they're Americans now they say like wait what and I'm like oh my god they're like they're Californians you know oh my gosh i thought you were gonna say there's a little no they're not a sausage it's all gone i'm the only one i'm just holding the accent up for the whole family and your podcast where can everyone find you aspire with emigrate i have to tell you guys i love doing the podcast it's one of my favorite it's so much fun and it's also like you know i get to ask the best questions it's like i just want to understand how everybody makes money i'm like tell me everything uh i'm I'm glad you launched one because I could have used your podcast.

1:20:47I feel like I wish you launched the podcast 10 years ago. Right? I know. It's okay though. I know. It's okay. It's all meant to be. It's happening now. I'm like, it's so funny that you say that. Like, I love it so much. Not everyone. Almost like the, it's been like marriage therapy for us. I swear, because sometimes we have people on that we don't like, maybe we're not talking about our specific issue, but they're saying something that we're both. Yes. And you're learning and you're like firing. And that's what happens. But I am really trying to be again, very purposeful because I want a podcast that people can, come and learn from and that again it's like you you you don't get to come and promote your thing there it's like you got to come to play like i need to know how you did the thing how much you spent on it how much did you pay the lawyer like how much did you raise no no it's like the opposite and it's like if you're not ready to come and do that then like don't come but i have the best guess and i have the most fun doing it i told you i like the one with kelly oh with kelly worse that she's amazing she's i mean again like what a woman she has a giant giant business and she's beautiful and she's so talented and she's creative yeah full package woman congratulations thank you for coming on the show for doing it again that was great fourth third third and a half i have to do this in the recording though i love i love them all this one was my favorite it was uh-huh i'm happy not i mean listen we're deep in it now i don't know what i'm gonna have to do to get back on one day it's gonna have to be a root like a fifth baby or like something let's go guess what it will be chic as fuck thank you thank you darling