In short
How to change your life by breaking subconscious patterns, healing the nervous system, and building self-worth—without needing to be “100% healed” first. Jim Curtis argues that most behavior is driven by subconscious beliefs and that anxious spirals can be interrupted with new self-talk, physiology shifts, and “radical surrender” (accept what’s happening, release control, then take the hard action).
Guest background
Jim Curtis is a transformational coach, entrepreneur, wellness leader, and best-selling author. He previously held leadership roles at WebMD, Everyday Health, and the Institute for Integrative Nutrition, and uses a signature hypno-coaching approach. He developed a limp after transverse myelitis (spinal cord scarring) at age 20 and says he learned to eliminate pain while still walking with a limp.
Key claims
Self-worth is a changeable belief; high achievers still doubt they’re “good enough.” Waking up in a suggestible theta state means morning affirmations program the subconscious. “What you resist persists.” Chronic pain can be influenced by mind-body/emotional factors; hypnosis and meditation can reduce pain.
Notable examples
Joe Dispenza’s mind-body recovery; Oprah admitting she still has doubts; stubbing a toe and replacing a curse spiral with gratitude; reading Dr. John Sarno’s Healing Back Pain and learning about TMS; using video games to distract burn victims from pain.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOThe Misconception of Healing Before Transformation
0:46 to 1:56
Jim discusses why many believe they must be fully healed to help others.
“Why do you think, Jim, that people think that they have to be 100 % healed to transform?”
Embracing Imperfections as Strengths
1:56 to 3:10
Jim shares how his chronic illness shaped his purpose and empathy.
“You mentioned that you said you walked with a limp.”
Journeys Through Pain and Healing
3:10 to 4:43
Exploration of Jim's journey through pain and various healing methodologies.
“and it progressed and we, over the years, kind of figure out how to live best with it.”
Understanding Self-Worth
4:43 to 6:14
Jim explains the roots of self-worth and how beliefs can be changed.
“Do you think that self-worth is developed when you're a child and how can someone who doesn't feel a lot of self-worth sort of fix that if they're an adult?”
Common Doubts Among High Achievers
6:14 to 7:20
Discussion on how even successful individuals struggle with feelings of inadequacy.
“When you interview all of these high performers, not interview, you help.”
Positive Affirmations for a Better Day
7:20 to 9:36
Jim shares techniques for starting the day positively to influence outcomes.
“That should give everyone kind of a little bit of ability to settle their mind saying, I'm not doing it wrong.”
The Dangers of Future Casting
9:36 to 13:19
The conversation shifts to how both past and future anxieties affect us.
“And my favorite one to say is, in my world, nothing ever goes wrong.”
Radical Surrender and Acceptance
13:19 to 14:00
Insight into practicing radical surrender and accepting the present moment.
Understanding Resistance and Surrender
14:00 to 15:00
Learn how to deal with resistance by practicing surrender and acceptance.
“You're going to go where your attention flows.”
Making Hard Decisions
15:00 to 16:00
Explore the importance of making hard decisions to overcome resistance and regain calm energy.
“I have this issue I'm resisting instead of denying it.”
Show all 30 chapters
Journey to Calmness
16:00 to 18:00
Discover how personal experiences can lead to a more calm and centered life.
“Or is this just how you've been since you were little?”
Energy Awareness and Environment
18:00 to 20:00
Discuss how our environment and energies affect our personal state and interactions.
“And I have just learned the importance of when you're around someone that maybe.”
The Science of Energy and Connection
20:00 to 23:20
Examine how energy and presence influence interpersonal relationships and perceptions.
“the things we cannot see because we can only see 0.12 % of all light in the room.”
Understanding Ego in Personal Growth
23:20 to 27:00
Learn about the role of ego in our actions and how to balance it with higher awareness.
“And so does that, the ego says, oh my God, that's wrong.”
Navigating Chronic Pain
27:00 to 28:01
Gain insights on managing chronic pain, its effects, and possible coping strategies.
“If I take on a new client and I realize they're operating 100 % from their ego, they're usually so stressed and anxious because they're always looking for what's going to get them next.”
Introduction to Chronic Pain
28:01 to 28:25
The hosts discuss the concept of being in a protective mental space and introduce chronic pain as a topic.
“But you protect a bubble so no energy can get in.”
Personal Stories of Pain Management
28:25 to 30:33
A personal narrative about dealing with chronic pain and finding healing through various methods.
“through physical stuff, I've actually like healed and got past it.”
The Mind-Body Connection
30:33 to 31:48
Exploring the influence of mental state on physical pain and discussing various methods for overcoming pain.
“It's interesting to me that many people think that the mind-body connection is crazy.”
Techniques for Managing Pain
31:48 to 33:51
Discussing practical techniques like meditation and self-hypnosis that help alleviate pain.
“Maybe what you did won't work for others, but you tried a lot of things.”
Meditation Methods Explained
33:51 to 36:27
A discussion about specific meditation practices and their benefits for managing pain.
“One, I have this app called the Possibility App that you can go and get what I call hypno-meditations because they bring you into a deeper state of trance.”
Meditation Methods Explained
36:32 to 37:55
A discussion about specific meditation practices and their benefits for managing pain.
“That's paleovalley.com slash skinny or use code skinny at checkout.”
Perceptions of 'Woo-Woo' Practices
39:24 to 40:25
Discussing societal perceptions of unconventional healing methods and the evolution of mindfulness.
“I'm consistent with strength training, prioritizing sleep, eating high quality protein, and I'm always looking for simple habits that actually move the needle.”
Perceptions of 'Woo-Woo' Practices
40:32 to 42:01
Discussing societal perceptions of unconventional healing methods and the evolution of mindfulness.
“Do you think that there's a certain pushback on things that are quote-unquote woo-woo?”
The Journey of Manifestation
42:01 to 48:20
Explore the long-term process of manifestation and its connection to identity.
“And if I just close my eyes and go within, everything will change.”
The Journey of Manifestation
48:24 to 49:54
Explore the long-term process of manifestation and its connection to identity.
“smart and sour mints, as well as SmartGum.”
The Journey of Manifestation
49:55 to 51:05
Explore the long-term process of manifestation and its connection to identity.
“I want ones that are really, really elevated.”
Patterns in Relationships
52:44 to 56:07
Understand how childhood programming affects relationship desires.
“It's a full day designed to help you reset, refocus, and build a life that feels more like yours.”
The Impact of Identity on Discussion
56:07 to 57:20
Explore how identity politics can restrict open-minded discussions.
“you're gonna say I am a Greek god well I won't go Greek no no I'm not Greek um but what I what I think with the I am statements, part of what we're, we're not going to go down this realm, we're up on time, but I would.”
Flexibility of Mind: The Key to Growth
57:21 to 57:55
Learn why having a flexible mind in beliefs leads to better outcomes.
“That means that you're saying that I'm bad and the ego has to come and protect.”
Promoting Jim's Book
57:56 to 58:15
Jim Curtis discusses his book, The Book of Possibility, and its features.
“I'm obsessed with what you just said with that.”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00Hello, everybody. Welcome back to another episode of The Boss 6. Today, we have Jim Curtis on the show, and Lauren and I loved this episode. Jim is a transformational coach, entrepreneur, wellness leader, and best-selling author who has spent more than two decades helping people create breakthroughs in their health, relationships, confidence, and their lives. He's held leadership roles at WebMD, Everyday Health, and the Institute for Integrative Nutrition, and has coached entrepreneurs, athletes, creatives, and public figures through his signature hypno-coaching approach. What makes Jim's work especially personal is his own story.
0:27After battling a chronic undiagnosed illness, which we talk about on the show, he developed a deeper understanding of the connection between the mind, body, and subconscious patterns. Today with Jim, we're going deep on subconscious programming, nervous system healing, self-worth, success, relationship, and what it actually takes to become the person capable of creating the life that you actually want. Jim Curtis, welcome to the show. Why do you think, Jim, that people think that they have to be 100 % healed to transform? Ah, we're jumping right in. We're jumping right in. Yes. Deep in. Yes. Yes.
0:58I think people are worried that they're not good enough and that they have to show this dramatic result and able to lead people to health. I felt that way. I ran these wellness companies. I was part of WebMD and then Everyday Health and then the Institute for Integrative Nutrition. I was always putting people out front. And I felt because I had this disability, I walked with a limp that couldn't possibly be because I hadn't healed myself miraculously. I listened to Joe Dispenza. He got in this bike accident and he all of a sudden with his mind, there was white light, there was a energy and now he's who he is today.
1:33I was like, that's not me. And then I realized that you can, through your own mess, create a message that heals. You don't have to be a hundred percent healed because no one is. There's no perfection that you just have to be one step ahead of the people that you want to teach, right? From your own experience. So a lot of people think that they have to be perfect, perfectly healed. It's just not true. You mentioned that you said you walked with a limp. Yes. And how has that been like your greatest gift? Because it seems like you've turned it in, like you said, your mess into something wonderful.
2:09It's given me direction, right? Figuring out what this issue was, what this illness was, it's given me purpose and direction, and it's given me real empathy and understanding for people. It's also showed me my limiting beliefs. I ignored the physical condition, just dove into work. I became a workaholic because that was easy for me. Being successful and making money was easy for me. And then when I had to look at, oh, you know, what is that hiding? What is that numbing is where the real work began. But, and now it's the people that I coach and work with in this book, it's not necessarily for people with illnesses.
2:46It's really for people who are ready to expand beyond their current state, whether they're in a challenge or they're ready to step into a greater sense of purpose or a better job. And for the audience who's unfamiliar with you, what caused the limp? It was a transverse myelonitis, which is a scarring of your spinal cord. Wow. Yeah, when I was 20 years old. and it progressed and we, over the years, kind of figure out how to live best with it. And so is it painful or is it mechanical or both? It was, you know, I had to understand chronic pain. And one of the things in this book is like, how do you get out of chronic pain?
3:32Because we have opioids in our body. We produce, we have opioid receptors. And if we take something, funny, it turns those receptors off but how do we do that naturally? And I found out how to do that naturally. I'm no longer in pain. I still work with, walk with a limp. But I'm not in pain and I learned how to do that. And that's how I teach people that are in pain as well. So how did you start to figure that out? Was somebody, did somebody teach you or is it something that you were working on yourself and you did something clicked one day? Like how did, how did that happen? I had to go all over the world.
4:06I went to the Cleveland Clinic, the Mayo Clinic, Johns Hopkins, Boston Medical. And then I went even beyond. I went to Grand Masters of Kung Fu, Ecuadorian Shaman, Energy Healers. I went to Tony Robbins. I like how he was included in that. We love Tony. Tony's like one of the most powerful that I've been to. And so I started to go all around the world and I started to say, how do I attack this? from every direction, not just from the medical, but also from the holistic, the wellness, the spiritual. That's what started my inward journey. You mentioned self-worth. Do you think that self-worth is developed when you're a child and how can someone who doesn't feel a lot of self-worth sort of fix that if they're an adult?
4:57Right, that's the interesting thing. Not enough or am I worthy is driving 90 % of us. And we hide it, right? We hide it. We hide it with our shadows. Shadows are those kind of ugly parts of us, the angry parts, the jealous parts, the vindictive parts. We hide it by not telling people that we're worried or feeling down because we're shameful of it. Guess what? Everybody's hiding the same shit, this low, am I good enough self-worth. And it's because as children were kind of raised that way, right? And we're sponges. From zero to seven years old, we're sponges. And so when we get disciplined or when we see an advertisement or we see media saying that we need more, do differently, we start to think, oh, I'm doing it wrong?
5:48Or we find that mom or dad didn't give us the love that we needed, or that girlfriend broke up with us or that job fired us. And we start to say, am I worthy enough? And so when we go back and see, oh, that's a belief. Am I worthy if I was to do surgery on you guys? I cut open your heart. I'm not going to find a gland that's worthiness nor in your head. It's a belief. And so if it's a belief, then it's changeable, right? Beliefs come and go. When you interview all of these high performers, not interview, you help. Is that the right word? I coach them. You coach, you coach all these high performers, celebrities, all the things.
6:31What's the common thread that you see with all of them? I'll tell you this, a really interesting thing that I found. No matter how successful you are, you're still wondering if you're good enough. and so we start to look even I was on the Oprah show yesterday and um I said to Oprah you know do you still have doubts do you still you know it's Oprah we're all like you know praising you know and she said yes I do I do uh and she didn't go into it but even at that stage billionaire Oprah show, basically created media for women. I mean, she is an icon for us all and she still experiences it. That should give everyone kind of a little bit of ability to settle their mind saying, I'm not doing it wrong.
7:27It's not just me. And in that kind of emotional regulation and that security, we can go forward and say, okay, so if this isn't true, what could be possible? When you wake up in the morning and you get that anxiousness that a lot of us get sometimes when we wake up, how do you talk to yourself in your head? Luckily, I don't get that anymore. Right? You've trained yourself. I don't get that anxiousness anymore because I know that I'm going to create a list of things I need to do and they're going to get done. And I also say to myself, everything is working out in my greatest good. Right? Everything is working out for my highest and greatest good.
8:06and I even say I'm divinely guided so business people watching or other people may say like what does that mean divinely guided but I will suggest this if you wake up anxious in the morning right because you immediately jump to emails and you have a bunch of people or you start future casting am I successful enough where's the money can I afford it you know all those things what should I do in my job? Does she love me? Did I get a text in the morning from him? Right? Those will send you spinning and you need to take back the control. Taking back the control, which says, I wake up and here are the things that I say immediately.
8:50Because when you wake up, your mind is in a theta state. Theta is a highly suggestible state. That means that the information coming in when we wake up and we go to bed programs our subconscious mind. So if you wake up and you do that, that's the rest of your day, probably over and over again. If you wake up and say, today is going to be an amazing day. Whatever happened yesterday is gone and today is new opportunity, new possibility. I wonder what hidden possibilities I may not have even known existed could open up for me today. You start to say things that point your subconscious mind in the direction of opportunity and excitement.
9:32And that will create an entirely new environment for you. And my favorite one to say is, in my world, nothing ever goes wrong. Yes. That's my favorite one to say when I wake up. You mentioned future casting. we may have a future caster in the building right now tell me if you disagree with this I think that in my personal experience in doing this for a long time the show it's almost like I see a comment that are two camps there's the future casters and then there's maybe the past casters is that right? the people that are like the past drives all their decisions and why they're not enough and why they can't do things or the other side the future drives the anxiousness the fear all that Do you find the same thing or is it typically one or the other or is it sometimes you have both?
10:20If they're human. If they're human. Yeah, right, right. Animals just kind of live in the present. Or the aliens that everybody's talking about. So yes, we are having this human experience. And so people say the past doesn't exist. The future is not here yet. All you can do is be in the now. And I agree with that. It's really comfortable when we can do that.
10:44It's easier said than done. because what I believe is that the past does exist and the future does too. It's all in your mind right here and now. So what we need to do is start to question the thoughts that we're having in the moment. Right. And immediately, immediately I say no. So give us an example. Okay. Here's an example. I'm walking down the street. I'll give you two examples. I'm walking down the street, right? And I stub my toe or stumble because I walk with this low bit of a limb. And I start, you know, I get, you know, immediately get down, like, God damn, stumble on the street or the person's in the way.
11:31I can hear myself cursing my body, cursing myself. And then I could start to think, oh God, how many more blocks do I have to walk? And, you know, if this is like this at 50, What's it going to be? No. I'm so grateful for my body. I'm so lucky to be on two feet. I am so lucky to be strong in shape and be able to be in the city and walking. And boy, does that feel better. So you interrupt the spiral with a no. I do. You change your physiology and you stop your untrue spiraling thoughts with a snap and statement. You could do anything. You could, you could just shake it out. You find your own, right?
12:13Find your own. The next one is, boy, I wonder what my business will do. God, if it doesn't hit my revenue numbers, who, how are we going to, all these things. And what if this piece of business goes away or this, you know, and then, and I'll say, no, no, because if I'm focusing on the outcomes I don't want instead of the outcomes I want, I'm going to achieve those outcomes. I really would love for you to elaborate on this. We were talking about this in the car. When you don't want something, it usually, what is the quote? Yes. What you resist persists. I write about that in the book. Okay. Tell us about that.
12:53What do you write? What you resist persists. Absolutely. This is the idea of radical surrender and attachment. Meaning if I'm constantly thinking about the issue that I have instead of just accepting it, if I'm constantly pushing against it, right, it will push back. It will push back. It will become the main focus in your mind and your activity. And if I just say, you know what, it is what it is. so you when you go to driving school and they teach you this if you're going to like safety driving racing i never went to it clearly i know i just got the i just got the bill i just got the bill for the two rims on our car that we had to replace um no but they teach you when you're spinning out and they like simulate this they have those like guards and then you can actually like spin the car out yeah they say when you're spinning out don't look where you don't want to go look where you want to go because if you look where you don't want to go that's where you're going to crash so when i was a kid i remember i was like 16 i was driving too fast and i just got done with that safety school and i started spinning out and i looked kind of for one second where i didn't want to go insurance but then quickly i remembered and i went where i went and i ended up right in the middle of the road in pure safety i think about that a lot because i think what happens to your point a lot of people spend so much time thinking about where they don't want to go and they keep going there beautiful over and over your attention goes energy flows you know it's the same with skiing yeah if you're skiing in the trees you're going to look at the space between the trees don't Not the trees.
14:17You're going to go where your attention flows. Yeah, every time. If someone is resisting something and they're listening and they're resisting something and they're ruminating on it and they can't get over it, what is your advice to surrender to it? Is there something that you say to yourself or is it truly just interrupting and saying no? So radical surrender is releasing control, right? I have to control everything. If I don't do these 10 things, if I don't make sure that my seat's perfect, then it's not going to work out. Right. And so one radically surrender that you can't control everything.
14:50You can only control what you can control. Okay. The second part is radical acceptance, which is I want, I want to accept that I'm here right now. I have this issue I'm resisting instead of denying it. Like I'm not resisting that. I'm just, I have this issue either at work or in love in my relationship. I'm resisting it. Okay. So now that I'm honest with myself, I can take an action. And that means often making the hard decision because making the hard decisions in life. And as I'm saying that, everybody listening probably is like, I got a hard decision either in my health, in the way that I'm eating, in my job, in my business, in my relationship that I need to make, whether it's a hard conversation or it's an actual decision that I haven't.
15:40And as soon as you make that hard decision, the resistance goes away. Your energy is very calm and stoic. And I know that that is usually not natural. It's something that you, I would assume, have had to work on. If someone doesn't have your natural calm energy and they're maybe a little more frenetic, is there anything that you've done to make it like that? Or is this just how you've been since you were little? No, I, I, yeah, I've, I was a madman for a long time. Even, you know, up until maybe less than a decade ago, I, I was, um, I was the guy in business that had no patience and my employees were like, Oh God, don't bring that to him.
16:26That's yeah. That's the guy I was, you know, I was, going out and partying. And I don't know when it changed, but it did. And what happened is, I think it's a sense of being comfortable in myself that I just slowed down. Now, I don't know why or when it happened, but people say that. And now, even now, right, when someone gives you a compliment like that, oftentimes, Sometimes, I hope people listening or maybe you guys, if I was to give you a compliment like that or make a statement like that, we sometimes have this thing called negativity bias that says, maybe I should be more energetic. I should pick up the pace a bit.
17:13Yeah, maybe I should pick up the pace. Maybe I need to lean forward. No, I think it's great. No, right. And I'm comfortable with it. But what I recognize is that every moment I'm able to be aware of my thoughts, my emotions, and then settle myself in real time. Right. Whereas you may have someone says something, you may spin, you may get anxious, you may get worried, you may judge yourself. And then that's what your new state is. I'm able to do in real time, like say something, I recognize how I feel about it, reconcile it. And then I'm back to centered, grounded, like the roots are growing out of my feet into the ground type of grounding.
17:52I've just learned that about the grounding because I am someone, because of what I do for a living, I can be affected by certain energies very easily. And I have just learned the importance of when you're around someone that maybe. well let's talk about a different energy it's really important that you ground yourself i would love for you to talk but let's talk about that a little bit i think like this is a debate i think you you want to be an energetic person but you also want to be mindful of how much environments and other people can affect you as a person right like yeah if the environment smells at the uber fragrance i'm sensitive i'm sensitive but what i light whatever i think like there is also light when you turn the light on in the morning in the morning but there is a part that's more of a female thing right right it talks a little too loud but there is a um part where i also think like we have to also be mindful of how much we allow things to affect us i think you're right right i think it's a little bit of both we are energetic you know the energy where we're vibrating that yeah there's a lot of this is science backed there was this um newspaper in the uk that that interviewed me recently and i realized that she was not quite a fan when we got to the interview and she's like so you say that in your book this is all physics and where are the peer reviewed studies on that i said on the idea that we're vibrating and that this we can feel each other's energy?
19:30And I said, yeah, I don't think there are any peer-reviewed any, but if we ignore that truth, that we can be affected by other people's energy and that we're affecting other people and that one person who's positive can lift up an entire room, then we are ignoring a key strategy in life. And just as you say, oh, when you walk in, why do you love that person? Well, we just have chemistry. That's also not peer-reviewed. So we have to be cognizant of the things we cannot see because we can only see 0.12 % of all light in the room. That means that there's about 90 % of the light that we can't see that's flowing in energy.
20:13And so, yes, one thing is that means that we're affected by everything. At the same time, that means that we can allow ourselves to be protected as well by just changing our energy because in a higher vibrational state, those other things can't affect us. Yeah, there's, I don't know, I'm going to butcher this, but I think, you know, when people are passing or you have opioid receptors in our body and hormones, or if you take like LSD, which is an extreme example, and you can see different colors and feel different vibrations because that is already in us as human beings but sometimes you have to block some of the signaling in order to recognize it but the whole point is if you didn't have that filtration system you would be seeing too much all the time to actually like sit down and focus and actually process what's going on around you but i think some people are more blocked off than others like if your default position is that you don't believe and that you need to see a study every time in order to acknowledge something you may be feeling that is you intentionally choosing to block off signals that are directly going into your system.
21:17It's why, like, dumb small examples, we will not do this show over Zoom with people because we've done it long enough where we know, like, if I met you on a screen compared to here, we're just not going to have the same interaction. Yeah. Whether good or bad. But it's just, it's going to, there is a block that will exist because I can't feel your presence in front of me. Exactly right. There's no connection. Mm-hmm. Right. You called your romantic life with Jennifer Aniston a real study in ego. So that was fascinating to me. Why? That's not something I talk about ever anymore. That's what I've learned in this kind of media landscape is that you got to keep some things private.
21:58I agree with you. Yeah. Good for you. But you guys are a couple doing this right here. You know what? To your point, my husband and I host a show together. Yes, we're public people, but there's a lot of things we keep private. Yeah. A lot. And, and we have children and I don't think that the internet needs to see everything. I, I would say we keep about 80 % private. I think that's great. So, so when you said it, the ego thing, I'm curious about that. Why did you, why did, what's with the ego comment? Everybody has this ego, right? And the ego is there to protect us. And we often don't need protection, right?
22:39And so the ego is a real tool. and Carl Jung talks about this and others, but when the, you know, and there's this kind of idea in the spiritual world that we need to have an ego death. Like kill your ego, ego is bad. But ego is really good in figuring out how to move you forward, how to protect you. And so often with this idea of the ego, we have to say, is this true? Am I afraid of something? or am I creating a story around something? Give me an example. Give me an example. Let's see. Here's an example. You see an article about your headline in the tabloids. Oh, that's always fun. Yeah, yeah.
23:27And it's not flattering. Common. And so does that, the ego says, oh my God, that's wrong. I've been violated. They don't know me. you know i need to somehow respond i'm not safe right that's the ego and the other side of that is who cares i i'm divinely guided whether that article exists or not i'm focused on helping the people that i help and that's my mission and the ego is no crazy phonetic like and the the divine energy, the divine masculine, the consciousness, the higher awareness says, you know, that doesn't matter at all. Is, is the ego, the 3D and the who cares, the 5D? That's a good question.
24:21I don't know. I bet it is. I don't know. I bet if you look at it, I bet the ego is the, oh my God, freak out. And the 5D is like, who cares? You talk a lot about the subconscious and the conscious. What percentage of the ego lives in each, do you think? And how much is it driving the behaviors of the subconscious versus the actual conscious? Wow. Geez, Michael. That's a good one, Michael. I mean, God. I'm curious because I know you talk about... No, it's a good question. Well, Lauren, I do have a little bit of a brain sometimes once in a while. But I know you talk about the subconscious a lot and how it drives a ton of our just actions and decisions in the first place.
25:00So I'm just wondering how much you believe our ego's in there. Well, the subconscious mind we use as a point of reference controls about 95 % of what we do. And the subconscious mind is our habits. And it allows us to breathe without thinking, our hearts to beat without thinking. It's our autonomic nervous system. It's all this stuff, right? And it also has this critical mind that filters all the information. and who knows if that 95 is correct no one can measure it but that's what people have it's a huge percentage of what's yeah it's driving a lot of our they prognosticated that for quite some time okay the five percent is the logical mind and so the ego i think it was within this critical and logical factor and i don't know because i haven't studied the amount of ego that goes into it but it's often that the ego comes up from the subconscious saying here's a belief i'm not safe if it's violated and therefore in the conscious mind i have a reaction which is a thought which is some logic that says i need to react i need to protect and in that protection sometimes the ego allows this ugliness to come out meaning at work you are you know you You are competitive.
26:23You are kind of trying to climb the ladder faster. You put someone down in a romantic relationship. Maybe you get into a fight and you have to prove who's right and who's wrong. And so that is a lot of that is ego. When you yourself being who you are right now meet someone who's completely in their ego, maybe there's a grandiose delusion going on. Maybe it's someone that's like such an egomaniac. You have in mind. Not you. I'm joking. Keep going. You could be in your ego sometimes. We all are. We all are. So can I. Yeah. But when you meet someone that's their identity, how do you handle them? I don't.
27:04What do you do? If I take on a new client and I realize they're operating 100 % from their ego, they're usually so stressed and anxious because they're always looking for what's going to get them next. And so when we practice, and so I don't go directly into kind of mindset and coaching and that kind of stuff. I try to rise above and go into the higher mind, the one that's aware of the thoughts. Because we have a higher self. Eckhart Tolle talks about this. We have this higher self that's aware of our thoughts. That's aware of what's happening right now. That's aware of me even thinking and speaking.
27:41And when we operate from that higher self, we can relax. and in that rest, in that relaxation, we can start to say, you know, do I really need the ego in this moment? Now in my personal life, if someone is 100 % from their ego, I just don't, I don't interact. You're good. Yeah, I'm good. I call it, I zip up. Yeah. Yes. In a bubble. I, I, that's, that's a good metaphor. I zip up. Yeah. You're in your bubble. Yeah, you're in your bubble. But you protect a bubble so no energy can get in. I want to talk to you about chronic pain. So I went through this period earlier this year, which was well-documented and very much annoying my wife where I was having chronic back pain.
28:24I had it for a long time. And I read a few books and funny enough, I think through my mind and through physical stuff, I've actually like healed and got past it. But for the longest time, it was so frustrating because it just really takes a toll on your mood. It takes a toll on your patients. It makes you irritable. It makes you somewhat depressed. It makes you feel incapable, all these things. In my situation, I was able to move past it. I think similar to yours, but for people that are in constant chronic pain right now, what are some things you would tell them or maybe some exercise you would give them to help navigate through it?
28:57How did you get through it, by the way? Well, funny enough, and it sounds woo-woo. I tried everything. So at one point I literally couldn't walk. I would like walk in the street and like tighten my belt so tight that it would like give me like a back brace. I heard the word back more than my name. And I think a lot of people have low back pain, but what's strange for me, I was like, is it my posture? Did I do something? And I would constantly like tweak it, like I'd pick up a dumbbell the wrong way. And like, that doesn't seem right. And I talked to everyone. I did all the physical things. I got a trainer.
29:25And one day I was getting a massage for my back pain from this older woman, not too old, but she was older. And, um, she told me that she had this very wealthy client out here in New York and he had tried everything, all the surgeries, all this. And he said one day he went and saw this guy, Dr. John Sarno, which we talked about. He wrote this book, Healing Back Pain. He said, try reading that book. And I don't know. He's the energetic chiropractor. Yes. Well, I don't know what he was called, if that's his title, but I read the book and basically it says, if you can read half this book, your back pain will probably go away.
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29:56Yes. I've heard this book. And it's all neuralistic programming. And I was like, bullshit. And anyway, it said it's this thing called TMS, tension meiosis syndrome, which is basically like so much of this is in your mind. Your back is a really strong structure. Your body's a strong structure. You shouldn't be able to put it that far out by touching things. Like there's something going on where there's a defense mechanism from a trauma in your subconscious that is taking that pain that's too difficult for you to deal with and putting it somewhere in your body. Now, again, this sounds crazy, but I read that book and sure enough, halfway through, like it went away in conjunction with some of the like physical stuff that I was doing in rehabs, but that was it.
30:32I was trying all the things. I was thinking about it. I was writing about it. It's interesting to me that many people think that the mind-body connection is crazy. We create drugs based on a placebo. We have a placebo that's a sugar pill, and then we have an actual chemical drug, and the chemical drug has to outperform the placebo because you give someone a sugar pill and say, this is going to do this to your body. They take it, and it does. like 20 % of the time. And we're not studying how to make the placebo drug better. We're just studying how to make more chemical drugs better. But if we can take a sugar pill and have a dramatic effect or a faith healer, you were healed and people actually walk away and have lasting change because they believe that a higher power healed them.
31:19And we call that crazy. What the book did for me is it made me so much more open to what you're talking about. It's like, to me, it's like whatever the method is that gets you there, it doesn't really matter if it's a doctor, if it's a healer, if it's a priest, if it's a book, whatever it is. It's, it's the, I think it's the idea that your mind is controlling so much of the physical pain you feel in your body and whatever you can do to break through that in your mind is what you need to do. Now, maybe that book won't work for others. Maybe what you did won't work for others, but you tried a lot of things.
31:50It's that thing that clicks. Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. So there is real science around this now. There are case studies that show that hypnosis is amazing for pain. You can go on PubMed and find those case studies. There are case studies around burn victims. And what do they use to lower pain? Video games. Because their mind is so engrossed in these video games that it forgets the pain. Wow. So yes, what people in pain, I know this, don't like to hear is that your pain is because of your emotional status or you're not doing a good enough job with the mind-body work. Because you're like, if you're feeling what I'm feeling right now.
32:37I wanted to strangle people when they said that to me. I absolutely want to strangle you. And don't discredit my pain. You don't know what I'm feeling. I have more pain than you. Yeah. You'll never get it. One, that, and like, you couldn't deal with this. And it's like, don't tell me that this can, like, I'm thinking, it's like in my head. And so once we get over that idea and we start to believe, listen, there's a lot more going on here than we could ever possibly imagine with our senses. You know, like we already know this. Let's just, I've had a, I've had an issue that was never diagnosed. I've been to every major medical institution in the world.
33:13Our body is so intricate that it's really hard. No one really completely knows it. So why not try this stuff? It's helped a lot of people. And so some things that you can do right now is recognize when you're really stressed if the pain gets worse. Notice when the pain gets worse. Try self-hypnosis. Try meditation. It has a dramatic effect. When you're not agitated, then you have less cortisol and inflammation in your body. and that creates a pain-free environment or a less painful environment. Is there a specific meditation that you're doing every single day or is it just you being quiet? There are two meditations that I do.
33:57One, I have this app called the Possibility App that you can go and get what I call hypno-meditations because they bring you into a deeper state of trance. So that instead of just... Meditation is quiet meditation. Mindfulness meditation is let me close my eyes. When I have a thought, let it go, right? and the Possibility app has hypno-meditations, which you don't have to try that hard. Your mind can wander and wander. It's all good. I also love myself Joe Dispenza. Same. Yeah. The morning meditation is my favorite. Yes. 24 minutes. Easy and quick. I could sing it. Yeah. I'll do the hour-long too.
34:37And one of the biggest things I love about him is the music that he puts behind it because it's in a hertz frequency. at the same brainwave state as our mind. That's scientifically proven for the woo-woo people out there that don't want woo-woo. It's scientifically proven that when you tune your mind to a hertz frequency, that you think better, you have less pain in your body, you release more endorphins, you get into a flow state. Quick break to talk about Paleo Valley. We love this company so much. We've met Dr. Autumn Smith on this show twice, talking all about the incredible things that she's building with her company, all the incredible products that they have.
35:12And here's the thing. Lauren and I are constantly on the lookout for healthy, clean alternatives when it comes to supplements, when it comes to great products, protein, and we're always looking for companies that are doing it right and never compromising their ingredients. This is why we love Paleo Valley so much. Like I said, we've had Dr. Autumn Smith on this podcast twice. I highly recommend you check out those episodes if you just search her name and then Paleo Valley, those episodes will come up. But every time she comes on, we learn something new. The last time she came on, she talked all about the organ supplements that she makes.
35:40This is going to help with hair and joints. This is going to help with collagen production. It's going to help with protein synthesis. So many things. They also have this incredible bone broth protein that we use all the time. The way that I've been liking it recently is I take the bone broth protein and I actually put it in some Greek yogurt. It makes like a chocolate kind of pudding yogurt. And then I add kiwi and blueberries. This is going to give you a ton of protein as well as those healthy probiotics from the Greek yogurt. We're constantly looking for things that are going to enhance our health while never compromising ingredients.
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36:35The other day, I was going to New York and I needed a really cute black t-shirt. I wanted one that just fit me in all the right places. So I went where I always go when I need something quick, fast, that's just curated and gorgeous. And that is Revolve. Revolve. If you are unfamiliar with Revolve, let me put you on to a site that has everything that understands your taste. It feels edited rather than overwhelming. So when I go on there, I know that they're going to give me the best options of whatever I need. So if I want like a jean or a t-shirt, I love their redone t-shirts. If I want a tank top, it's already sort of like styled and edited down, which I like.
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40:34Do you think that there's a certain pushback on things that are quote-unquote woo-woo? Because maybe it's too easy to access and it's free and it almost feels like it's too easy. It couldn't possibly work. I grew up in Boston. I went to school in Dorchester. my hometown was brockton mass blue collar not for nothing but whatever right yeah yeah i don't understand why my guys in boston he still is like oh what are you doing over there you know like i don't know why i i haven't been able to diagnose the issue of why there is this idea that there are things that we don't understand, know, or see that can help control our lives and why we immediately go to woo-woo.
41:29But I will tell you this, 15 years ago or 20 years ago, when Oprah first brought up the idea of mindfulness on her podcast, on her show, people were like, woo-woo. And now mindfulness is just your everyday thing. so maybe we're moving in the right direction i totally agree with you on that what you just said i think that's why i like to continue to speak about how i use my mind to i i mean i feel like i can use my mind to create whatever i want what did what's that quote by nabalman of butcher there's this is they basically they criticize you because they fear it might be true maybe something like that or what's that line or basically like if you if you call into question people's belief system and you solve something by doing something a different way they then have to kind of contend with the fact that maybe if they chose to do it a different way and it didn't work that they were wrong or if they came up through a certain kind of schooling system or education and it calls that into question then that like i think i think we have a difficult time as a species admitting that we may be on the wrong path and that we need to change because it calls into question every decision you've ever made i think that's genius you know I think that that also lines up perfectly with something we talk in the book is your identity right so if I'm this hard-working blue-collar Boston Red Sox fan that like you know I'm out there shoveling my parking spot in front of my house and if someone else takes it I'm gonna like literally get in a fight in the street and then like I also have to believe that like oh the magical powers of manifestation.
43:05And if I just close my eyes and go within, everything will change. That's not my identity. And therefore I reject it. How did you manifest everything that's happening for you right now? Your book, you're on Oprah, you're on all these different shows, Jay Shetty, you're living your dream. It seems like, how did you manifest it? What was the seed of manifestation that this started with? The seed of manifestation that this started with, one, it feels like it's like a big kind of aha moment, but everybody says every great success is 10 years in the making. Right. My first book was in 2016. You probably haven't heard of that.
43:47You haven't heard of that book because it only sold 10 ,000 copies. So it's still good though. It's still an accomplishment to sell 10 ,000 copies of any published work, right? Right, right. But yes, talk to my publisher. I didn't think so. So there's a long road to manifestation. And so one is holding a vision of what you want and then taking steps every day. But one step leads to the next. Take one step, take another, you take a yard. And before you know it, those yards add up to miles. And if you're not taking the steps because you're going this way and that way and now over here you're giving up hope or you're not completely focused, you're not going to get there.
44:28And then, so yes, part of it is manifestation. There is this idea of the I am, which I want to talk about, or if you're interested in talking about that. The other idea is there is no manifestation without action. Let's take the woo-woo out of manifestation. Manifestation is just a revealing. There is so, you said this earlier, there's so much information that we have to have a filter for it, right? Think about Amazon.com. How many products have you purchased on Amazon.com? Well, Lauren might be holding up that entire stock price. How many? Just say. A lot. A thousand? Probably. Okay. Maybe more.
45:09Okay. Let's say 2 ,000. I have kids. I have to buy stuff for the kids. Oh, here we go. Let's go. You've purchased. She's made it part of her identity. I have dogs. I get it. I get it. It's all worth it. God bless. So just say you bought 5 ,000 products on Amazon. Okay. How many products do you think are in Amazon? Numbers isn't my strong suit. I'm going to guess 100 ,000. Oh, my God. How many do you think? I wouldn't be surprised if they're at half a billion products or more now. Oh. Yeah. You're absolutely right. 326 million products. That's why you handled the video. 326 million products on Amazon.
45:45Let him do the math. 326 million products. Oh, so he wasn't even close either. Oh, it was closer than 100 ,000. Closer, yes. So if you, this is, this is the universe. This is the world, right? This is manifestation. There are, you've bought 5 ,000 products. You don't know. If I asked you to name what the other 325, 995 ,000 products were, you wouldn't be able to do it. But if something came into your mind, like a friend said, oh, this is available to you or you put your mindset on something, it's probably available to you. and this is what possibility is this is what manifestation is priming your reticular activating system in your brain that goes out and finds things based on your beliefs they say i believe that i can do this i'm going to set my vision and focus and i'm going to go find the things in the world that already exists that i'm just not seeing so that i can accomplish it you're good at that in fact i would say that you make a compliment right now yeah let me hold on let me sit straight you do you manifest maybe you can have a pillow you are good at what he just said i think that you do you have manifested a lot in your life without maybe calling it that word well i think you manifested your wife yeah what you said is completely resonant with me which is you can have big dreams a big ambition and think very highly of yourself but if you just think it's going to fall in your lap it's not gonna happen like you have to i think that's where the woo-woo community will lose people when they say you can just think your way to an abundant life like you can live inside your head and think well and be happy but if you want things to happen for you want to buy the house you want to give them the relationship whatever the hell it may be you gotta you gotta do stuff yeah you gotta take steps i do take that yeah i 100 agree so one is if you want to manifest something what we just call it i'm ready to reveal something so decide what it is and then take action to get it and focus not on the things that you don't want, but on the things that you want.
47:47And then if you want to add a little bit in there, there is a little bit of the unknown. There's a little bit of the spiritual. There is a little bit of, you know, how does like Carl Jung talks about, you know, synchronicities and it's like, okay, these are have no cause, but they're happening. Every time I want a parking spot, it lands in place. Every time I say I want to manifest money, I find a$20 bill in the street. Sometimes there are these coincidences that let you know you're on the right path. This episode of The Boss Six is brought to you by Neuro, the makers of the world's first smart and sour mints, as well as SmartGum.
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52:32Like I said, you can find Opill at most major retailers, in stores, and online. Preventing pregnancy is as easy as Opill. Read all label information and use as directed. Join us in Austin for Dear Media by Day on Saturday, September 26. It's a full day designed to help you reset, refocus, and build a life that feels more like yours. We'll be sitting down with the Bumble founder, Whitney Wolf Hurd, to talk about what comes after success, when to change direction, how to make tough decisions, evolve in public, and build something that lasts. Plus, you'll have the chance to ask us for advice on the crossroads you're facing in business, relationships, or life.
53:10Get your tickets at dearmedia.com slash events. That's dearmedia.com slash events. Why do you believe so many people struggle to find the love or the relationship that they want? I believe one, it's expectations. And I also believe it's their programming. So it's the patterns that you learn from childhood. I was speaking to a woman the other day and she was saying, you know, I just haven't been able to find the relationship that I want. And I really want this relationship and I haven't been able to find it. I want kids. And I say, oh really? So what are you doing to get it? And she's like, I'm doing all this stuff.
53:50I was like, well, let's look at the outcomes of your life, just like a business. So what are your outcomes? Okay, let's see. You have love, you have family, you have work, and then you have spirituality. Just say those are four outcomes or higher power, God, or whatever it is. And so she was crushing it at work, crushing it, incredible business, everything. and so uh i said so when it's time to go on a date or a dating app or do whatever you need to do or you know do you ever cancel because you're busy at work yeah all the time and so do you ever find yourself like not going out on a setup that your friends wanted to put you on because you're busy at work yeah all the time do you ever find that you're working so late that you don't even think about your life uh your romantic life yes but consciously you say that you that's what your main priority.
54:42So subconsciously what I realize is that it's not. So what's the pattern that is sabotaging that conscious desire? We all have patterns that sabotage our conscious desire because they think they want to keep, well, my parents always fought. Oh, so you grew up watching your parents fight. So a relationship isn't safe, but work is. And so how do we start to repattern that belief that relationships aren't safe. And when we do, all of a sudden it reveals, oh, that's a nice person over there that I could get to know and probably safe to get to know them. And like magic, things start to flow into your life.
55:22I might have a couple of friends that need to come read your book. Yeah. Yes. Before you go, you have to tell us about the I am theory. And I'm sure we can read about it in your book as well. But just tell us about that. Absolutely. So there's two parts of the I am. One is anything that you say I am afterwards you become. The I am is your identity. If you're saying I am a really powerful entrepreneur, I am ready to make money. I am ready to fall in love. I am love itself. I whatever identity you put I'm a Red Sox fan when the Red Sox lose you get upset right whatever it is you say I am it becomes your identity and your identity creates your reality who you believe you are is what your reality follows because all your decisions and beliefs start on what do you think you're gonna say I am a Greek god well I won't go Greek no no I'm not Greek um but what I what I think with the I am statements, part of what we're, we're not going to go down this realm, we're up on time, but I would.
56:27The political landscape that we're all in now, when you have identity politics, this is again, why people struggle to then discuss ideas rationally, rather than just saying, I'm this or I'm that. When you become this or that, you can only be what that or this is. And you can, and you close yourself up to ideas. I mean, sometimes - I'm open-minded. What we do, we'll get flack on this show sometimes because we talk to a lot of different people from a lot of different spectrums of ideas and political backings. But it's important because I think it's, you don't want to be so closed off in your identity that you miss a whole swath of the population or the world or just ideas in general.
57:08When you're closed off in your identity, you miss all possibility, right? And of course, in politics, it's identity politics. Why isn't that productive? because every time I have a disagreement with you over your politics, it's a direct reflection of who you are. And then that's where the ego comes in. Oh, you disagree with me? That means that you're saying that I'm bad and the ego has to come and protect. And we can't get anywhere. And so when you kind of put your identity, like you just said, I am open-minded. I am flexible. Listen, if anybody takes anything away from this, is that the more flexible you are in your mind, in your beliefs, right?
57:49It's not to say that you don't have really profound, solid beliefs that move you, but the flexible mind wins every time. Oh, what a great quote to end on. I'm obsessed with what you just said with that. I could not agree more. We should have just called the podcast Flexible with the Bostics. It's too late now. Jim, thank you for coming on. Where can everyone shop your book? The Book of Possibility. Shop my book anywhere books are sold all around the world. The Possibility app comes with it. And so you can read, write, and listen with the book. Check it out, guys. The Book of Possibility. Thank you for doing this.
58:26I'm sure it's going to be a huge success. Come back again anytime. It's great. Thank you so much, guys. Thank you, Jim. That was great. That was fun. That was great. Thank you.
58:44Thank you.
From the publisher
#1,007: Join us as we sit down with Jim Curtis – transformational coach, author, and wellness leader dedicated to guiding people through change. He blends neuroscience and spiritual principles to help people reprogram their patterns and become their best. Jim's work is deeply personal, shaped by his own journey with chronic illness and childhood trauma, and rooted in the belief that no matter what, transformation is always possible. In this episode, Jim shares why you don't have to be fully "healed" to transform, how self-worth is a belief we can change, and the connection between the mind and chronic pain. He also breaks down how to interrupt anxious thoughts, shift subconscious patterns, and use "I am" statements, manifestation, and radical surrender to create more possibility in your life.
For Detailed Show Notes visit TheBossticks.com
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