How To Reduce Stress, Regulate Your Nervous System, Break Your Phone Addiction, & Find Inner Peace Ft. Jesse Israel

8:56The Bossticks:Great song. Yeah. The class assignment was to make a pop song. And these guys weren't in a serious band. They actually weren't even planning to be a band. They just made this song for fun. And it was such a hit on campus. They'd play it at like frat parties, five, six, seven, eight times in a row, and people would go nuts, this little teeny college. So we had heard about these guys in the song, and we formed a little dorm room record label to release kids and to get them in the studio. We snuck them into a studio that our friend was interning at in Midtown Manhattan. We made the Time to Pretend EP.

9:29The Bossticks:The song Time to Pretend's on there, kids is on there, they recorded electric feel.

9:33Jesse Israel:some of these early hits i love electric feel and a lot of these songs like the whole album i listened to when i was 21 yeah right yeah it was such an era oh it was such a moment in time but they

9:45The Bossticks:recorded these songs a lot of them just on the spot it was like they were just channeling shit was just coming through it was pretty cool to witness but anyways um we didn't know what the hell we were doing and it took us about three years before we kind of figured out how to help them pop. And we supported them in an upstream deal to Columbia. They had a big major label and they just exploded. And all of a sudden I was, I had just graduated from NYU. I was like 22, 23. I'd been running a full-time business. I was a student, putting a lot of energy into being a student. And our label was taking off and we were going to a lot of festivals and, you know, going to parties and a lot of big intense events.

10:24The Bossticks:And it was really fun, but I'm a sensitive guy. It was, It was too much for my system. And I didn't really understand what was happening. I later learned I was having panic attacks and I was having pretty debilitating anxiety. So I needed a tool to help me navigate the literal noise that was coming at me in the music industry. Plus all the pressure and demand I felt was placed on me as a founder. I know you guys understand this. So my dad introduced me to meditation. He thought it would be something that would help me really with quieting the internal pain and kind of challenges I was experiencing.

10:59The Bossticks:And it was so helpful and it became this really meaningful part of my life. So when I'd be at music festivals, I'd be backstage and I would invite other music managers, executives, sometimes musicians before they'd go on headline, you know, major festival, they'd come in and we'd have a little moment of quiet together. So we'd be off to the side in quiet at a place like Coachella when there's 10 stages blasting music and like 200 ,000 people on shrooms, like going nuts. and there was something really powerful about creating quiet in the face of all this noise and i started to get these little downloads it was like i would get these visions it was like the whole festival being quiet and what would that feel like where do you think the panic attacks came from i think that the panic attacks came from a handful of things i mean one i think some of it is genetic.

11:49The Bossticks:Like there's, there's, there's a, there's a threat of anxiety in my family. Um, I think, um, part of it was also, I mean, I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was in high school. People have like varying opinions on that diagnosis, but I do think that my brain works differently in that, like, I have a lot of energy and it will go towards different things. And, and it's easy for my brain to get overwhelmed. And I think that, that, that, uh, intensity in the system can lead to things like panic attacks and yeah, just more intense emotion. And I think it was the overwhelm that I was experiencing. There's a lot of comparison.

12:25Jesse Israel:I also think that when you're around all those fake lights and it's nighttime and you're in Coachella and there's all these different strobes and colors and fake lights, and then there's all these different sounds that have different frequencies, as you know, and different vibrations and then you're experiencing all these people's different energies right and some maybe you don't want in and then you have people who are on a different frequency on drugs and some on hardcore drugs like meth or coke or whatever that probably made it even worse it was like all these like fake like almost like disneyland yeah but on crack you know i mean it's like really feeling There's all these, when you, when you're going through all this.

13:10Jesse Israel:People like Coachella are hitting meth. I'm just saying like, if, if you're already feeling bad and then you go to this artificial light and art and all this music and all this energy and all these people and all these drugs, it's going to make it worse. No. Well, I mean, I think like in the entertainment industry, there's, it's, there's a lot of things that come at you fast. Right. And there's a lot of, I think there's a lot of experiences that are not like so natural. I don't know how to explain it other than like you're, there's a lot of performance involved. There's a lot of energy involved.

13:46Jesse Israel:There's a lot of pressure on that performance and that energy. There's a lot of, there's a lot of attention, sometimes warranted, sometimes unwarranted. And I think if you're not somebody who's mature enough to like to handle a lot of that, it can become extremely overwhelming.

14:00The Bossticks:Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's a great point, especially because I was so young going into the industry.

14:05Jesse Israel:Yeah.

14:06The Bossticks:And a lot of it, too, was I modeled what I thought success looked like based on older peers in the music industry. And a lot of that wasn't, I think, the healthiest way to live or to build a business. So a lot of it for me was comparison, chasing, and doing that based off of something that ultimately wasn't really who I am, who I was. But I got to learn that the wrong way.

14:29Jesse Israel:And at what point did you guys start to see success when you're in school? Because when I look back on my college days, we were kind of just, me and my friends floundering around, we're partying, but we didn't have, it was just a normal college experience, right? We didn't have any kind of success or financial success until years later and after. I can only imagine if somebody gave me those kind of resources at that time, things would have got off the rail real quick. So how were you able to manage that at that age?

14:56The Bossticks:at that age it actually it wasn't super lucrative at that point it was more so there was a lot of attention and a lot of hype so it's more like access to to great events and you know hanging out with really interesting people it's almost more dangerous yeah it can be but again it was all of these things and i'm grateful for it that pushed me into finding these practices that were ultimately really healing and helpful for me and would go to lead to me leaving the music industry and starting the Big Quiet. Because I found myself in this position where more and more people wanted to join these group meditations.

15:28The Bossticks:I went from doing them backstage to my buddy's office space in downtown Manhattan to eventually getting invited to lead them on main stages at major music festivals. And then before I knew it, I had this new business. And through the Big Quiet, we were gathering thousands of people to get quiet together. So it was all meant to be. And I needed to have those challenging experiences to find this thing that led to this new project and allowed me to ultimately bring meditation to millions of people.

15:53Jesse Israel:Why do you think so many people don't want to get quiet? Why do you think that it feels so overwhelming?

15:59The Bossticks:I think for a lot of people, getting quiet and just sitting with ourselves means stuff coming up that can feel really scary and uncomfortable. I think for a lot of people, we believe that feeling uncomfortable emotions is wrong or bad. So we'll do whatever we can to constantly distract. and keep ourselves from feeling discomfort. And what I've learned in the more recent years of my life is that when we can allow ourselves to feel and be with whatever's going on down there, especially the stuff that's uncomfortable, if we can be with it, feel it, let it come up, let it come out, on the other side of it, we are in our power.

16:41The Bossticks:We feel clear. We're more aligned with purpose. We're able to really bring our true selves to what we're here to do. So we have to feel this stuff. But I think a lot of us don't want to. And for a lot of people, there's really uncomfortable shit that comes up when we're quiet. So we distract.

16:56Jesse Israel:I think you almost like for me, I I would rather be quiet for an hour than talk to a therapist. I think more can come up, like you just said, in a more powerful way without having someone facilitate it.

17:10The Bossticks:I agree with that. I'm a really, really big proponent of extended periods of no interaction with devices or other people. I know it's extra hard for you guys with the three kids and the two dogs, but I've sent hundreds of people on these trips where you go away for a weekend, you rent an Airbnb, you go by yourself, you keep your phone off for the whole time, no laptop. All you have with you is your food that you're going to cook, a book, a journal, and that's it for anywhere from two days to like a week.

17:43Jesse Israel:Sounds amazing.

17:44The Bossticks:No, it's actually, I believe one of the most powerful things we can do for ourselves in the world today.

17:50Jesse Israel:You could maybe get one of those like for people with kids. I was thinking about, because I think that would be really interesting for either of us to try, even for a weekend or even for a day, to be honest. And you could get one of those like kind of burner phones that, you know, in a real emergency, if you needed to do that, but then you don't, but you don't have the screen or the phone or the ability for social, just like if people with kids want to try something like that.

18:09The Bossticks:That's what I do. I have a flip phone and only my mom has the number or when I was in my relationship previously, uh, my ex had, had the number, but besides that, that's it. So you have the way to get the emergency contact if necessary. But, and I've, and I have supported a lot of, of people in relationships, people with kids going on a trip like this obviously involves a lot of coordination, but they come back changed. And what are the, and how so? What are the things, the common things you see? When we make space to be with ourselves without any distractions for a minimum of 48 hours, what I see consistently is this, the first 24 hours are really tough.

18:46The Bossticks:It's like a junkie without our substance, right? We're like, we like, we want to check the phone. We want to know what's going on, like all the things that comes up and it's really uncomfortable. And then when that passes, what I often see is things that we have pushed down and we haven't looked at will surface like something from an old relationship or an argument that happened in business with, you know, an ex-business partner, you know, things that maybe we haven't even touched on a couple of years, this stuff starts to come up to the surface and it can be really uncomfortable. And what I always encourage people to do is just be with it.

19:19The Bossticks:Don't try to fix it, just let it emerge. And it passes. Whatever the uncomfortable emotion or sensation is, it passes. And I always see this on the other side is this deep creativity and access to self-love. It's really interesting. So the best ideas I see will hit people in those moments. Once the junkie period has passed, the tough emotions have passed, all of a sudden it's like they're channeling, something's moving through them from a creative standpoint. And then most people, when they get back from a trip like this, they love themselves again. They're able to come back to this place of appreciation for themselves.

19:55The Bossticks:And I'd say inner wholeness. Like we are so reliant on external stuff to make us feel good and whole in the world. And it's such a trap because when those external things, if they're relationships, if they're business, if they're our kids, our families, our romantic partners, if something changes with those things, it impacts how we feel about ourselves. Our mood shifts, our happiness, you know, transforms. But if we're able to find that within ourselves, if we can feel whole just for the person that we are and for the relationship that we have with the greater power, you become really unstoppable.

20:32The Bossticks:And I think that these trips without distraction really bring us back to that place.

20:36Jesse Israel:I want to do that, but I want to live by candlelight.

20:39The Bossticks:Even better.

20:40Jesse Israel:I don't want the electricity because we did this experiment with Ryan from Test My Home where he turned off all of our electricity in the house and your nervous system immediately relaxes yeah it's so weird when like the electric everything just goes down no wi-fi yeah i want to be by like candlelight yeah that's that's what i want the ultimate way to do that but then i feel

21:01The Bossticks:like would i get scared by myself i've had i've had i've had some um i don't know i've had some i've had some wild i was on do we have time for a short story yeah right here the first time I did a solo trip like this, I decided that I would go big for it. I did eight days. Woo!

21:20Jesse Israel:Yeah. Whoa. Yeah. There's nothing. Just journal, flip phone. Eight days.

21:25The Bossticks:Books. Yeah, all my food.

21:26Jesse Israel:Journal. Just to clarify, there's no like TV or Netflix. No, no, no, no, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't sneak it in. No, I'm not. There's no porn, Taylor. There's no Pornhub. Nothing.

21:35The Bossticks:No digital devices. No digital devices. No connection to Wi-Fi. You get a couple books. You get your journal. you bring your food. And a lot of what you're doing is going on walks throughout the day, resting, taking baths. You just let your body downshift. It was really hard for me. I did this when I was 30. I'm 41 now. And I just started the big quiet. I didn't really know what I was doing or where it was going, but I went into this week. I rented a cabin in Julian, California, a couple hours away from here in LA. It's pretty up there. Yeah. I went into that trip so burnt out and so fried. I could like barely handle, you know, a phone call.

22:15The Bossticks:So I go into this trip and it's tough at first. And then I'm like in bliss for the second half of the trip. It was incredible. And it was the last night of the trip. And I was feeling so great. I'm making my final meal. I remember I was cooking rice and I turn off the water and because it's so quiet, I mean, I'm experiencing essentially, you know, eight days of, of only nature sound. And I, I rented this cabin where you couldn't see anybody nearby. There were other cabins, but they're pretty far away. But anyways, I'm making my rice. I turn off the water. And in this moment of complete silence, I hear, um, I hear this sound.

22:53The Bossticks:It's like,

22:58The Bossticks:help me i'm like what yeah it sounds like like a like a ghost and i freeze i'm terrified i haven't seen a person in eight days and i listen in and i and it's it gets stronger it's it's the sound of

23:12Jesse Israel:of what sounds like an old woman going help me oh can't you get a minute alone i would be like this is so curb your enthusiasm yeah right you go to the fucking middle of the

23:23The Bossticks:woods yeah and then the old ghost visits you a bear was eating an old woman in the woods i put my head up against the glass window in the kitchen and i look outside it's very dark outside you can't really see anything and in in the little like there's like a little like breakfast table out in the garden a couple like you know garden-y breakfast table chairs and I see the outline of an old woman in a nightie kind of hunched over. Was it a real woman? Or are you hallucinating? I don't know if I'm hallucinating or if this is a real thing that I'm witnessing. And I'm pretty terrified. And I call the owner of the cabin on a landline because there's no service there.

24:07The Bossticks:I don't even know where my cell phone is. And the owner of the cabin says, we think that this might be Jane. she's a she's a neighbor in one of the faraway cabins and sometimes she gets out and um gets

24:19Jesse Israel:confused and he said call for her so i go jane oh she goes yes help me so he says he says it's safe

24:28The Bossticks:you can let her in and i'm like bro are you sure he's like she's okay so i i opened the door i let her in i'm terrified i'm like shaking she comes into my cabin and this big dog's with her and i sit her down. She's injured. I think she had fallen. Her elbow was a little bloody. And they told me to call the local police department to help her out. So I'm trying to make sense of all this. I've called the police. In about five minutes, the entire town's fire department, ambulance, police, there's probably like 30 of these individuals are here in the cabin with me. The dog that was with her, I guess, was like a dangerous animal.

25:07The Bossticks:So they make me keep it in my bedroom. They all leave. They take her, but they can't take the dog because they need animal control. So I wound up having the last night of my trip with this kind of rabid dog in the bedroom. I sleep on the couch. But the moral of the story is I went into that trip. I couldn't show up on a phone call. I was so fried. By the end of the trip, I was unfazed by this experience. It was like, I had 30 people in the cabin with me. It was a really chaotic scene. I was just like, let's go. And when I came back from that trip, my business just exploded. I was just like so ready to go.

25:41The Bossticks:And I really point to that trip, including that unique moment, as really necessary to give me the fuel to then ultimately build the big quiet. It's funny, on that trip, I was reading the biography of Oprah, and I had this feeling that I was going to work with her. I also was getting these visions of guiding meditations and arenas, all things that would go on to happen years later that came to me in that space.

26:01Jesse Israel:Do you think it's just because you're able to finally think clearly and create a vision for yourself in that moment or because you're able to block out all the noise and just really like contemplate what you really want out of life?

26:10The Bossticks:Partly that, but I think that there's another piece to creativity that is beyond us and it channels through us. I really believe that. And I really felt that with a lot of what we built with The Big Quiet. It was like something was moving through me that wasn't necessarily my idea or my creation, but came through me and I was like the vessel to bring it into the world. And I think a lot of our best ideas move through us through some type of a greater person. are.

26:33Jesse Israel:I have this other theory with this though, too. I think we are all at capacity. I think we are, our thermometer is about to burst, all of us. I think we are inundated with content. If we have kids, the kids want to watch the TV. It's on and on and on. There's so many things to do. You never stop. It's a hamster wheel. You should be posting 24 seven, et cetera, et cetera. so we're all at capacity which gives us no space to be creative we've also just lost the ability to sit and be bored but then when you go away and you take all those things away you're able to have more capacity and how do i know this because you tell me by the end of the trip you're dealing with 30 people in your house if you told me right now that i have to go back to that hotel and there was 30 people in there with a dog in the other room i would i would be like i don't have the capacity right now with with everything that's going on in my life.

27:27Jesse Israel:Some old woman shows up at a picnic table in the middle of the night in Texas I might blow her away. It's just like you don't have any almost patience for any outside inconvenience because.

27:37The Bossticks:You don't have room for it.

27:38Jesse Israel:You don't have room for it and so I think when you create the space like that it makes things that maybe would normally be stressful not so stressful. So to me what I want to know is after that woman experience, when you went back into reality, did you feel things that would have bothered you before little tiny things? It was it less way less.

27:58The Bossticks:Yeah. It was that week. And this is true with the, with the weekend version of this too. It doesn't have to be eight days. This can also be the case when you do a weekend version of this. It's almost like, like industrial strength meditation for an extended period of time. Yeah. You know, I came back from that week so resilient, not only creative, but just so resilient with whatever came my way. So then the question for me became, well, how do I, I can't, I can't go do eight days all the time by my, actually, I don't think I've even done that since then. So it's like, how do you find the micro ways to bring that into, you know, into our lives?

28:33The Bossticks:And a 24-hour version of no phone, not being away from other people, but just 24, it's like tech Sabbath, Friday night, sundown until Saturday night sundown, no phone.

28:43Jesse Israel:I'm going to try that.

28:43The Bossticks:Is incredibly potent. And you can do that with your kids. You can do that with your family, you can do that with your friends. So there are other ways to work it in and still get the benefit and the impact of it. We just got to be, we got to get ahead of it. We got to plan it. And we have to be willing to create those boundaries. If it's Opal or if it's taking 24 hours, if it's putting your phone in the office instead of the bedroom, all these little things, they build up and they help. Because last thing I'll say about this, Cal Newport is a great author and academic. He has this theory about solitude deprivation.

29:16The Bossticks:It's this idea that we are deprived of being by ourselves. He wrote Deep Work, right? He wrote Deep Work. And it makes sense. It's like we, as a species, we evolved with extended periods of being by ourselves to process emotion, to access ideas, to develop. And we don't have it. And if we're by ourselves for a second today, we're actually not because we're on our phones. So we really miss out on what becomes available to us, like you guys have said.

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34:13Jesse Israel:You feel energized. I tried it and I just felt really focused all day. You don't even need that midday latte. It's really cool. So before metabolism ignites sells out again, make the switch to GLP-1s the natural way. Head to veracityhealth.co and use code SKINNY for up to 65 % off your order. Once again, that's V-E-R-A-C-I-T-Y health.co for up to 65 % off. And make sure you use our promo code SKINNY so they know we sent you. I also think there's this really famous celebrity that has this son and I was talking to them and they were saying that their son is so depressed and they said their son just sits in the room and wakes up and looks at his phone and he's just on his phone all day long.

34:59Jesse Israel:and obviously anyone who does that is going to be depressed and we're living in an age where the teenagers and the 20 to 30 year olds are on their phone all the time from the second they get up to when they go to bed i actually think like you know the the generation below our generation gets a lot of flack but i but i think if you like when we all got these kind of devices we had largely gone through elementary school middle school high school college like i didn't get an Apple phone until I graduated. So I had the Flip. So I had the Blackberry. You know what I mean? So you got to have all of those adolescent experiences that entire time.

35:35Jesse Israel:Many of these young kids now get given a phone sometimes at the age of eight or nine, but a lot of them as they get into middle school and high school. So they've never had the ability to kind of just sit quiet, be bored, be alone, not be connected, not be stimulated. And then where I feel bad for them and their parents because like a lot of the parents weren't taught either is like that's the only reality they know when you start talking about a world where like you don't have these things like for for that generation that's like flipping their whole world upside down like we remember a time when there was landlines and when you didn't have this connection and when you didn't have the like you know what i mean and so like you can you can look back like oh at that time i didn't feel this anxious or i didn't have this anxiety or i wasn't distressed i really didn't care what other people online we're doing because I didn't know.

36:23Jesse Israel:For them, that's all they know. Do you think there's going to be rehab for the phone?

36:28The Bossticks:I think there already is.

36:30Jesse Israel:Do you think it's going to be more and more popular?

36:32The Bossticks:I think it will become, I think we'll see two things. One thing we're already seeing right now is generational pushback. So Google search results for terms like flip phone are up 15 ,000 % right now.

36:45Jesse Israel:That's what I'm doing for my kids when it's time for a phone. We're need an apple watch sitting emf we used to have to print out the map quest directions yeah right yeah right we're doing a nokia a snake play snake um oprah winfrey how do you get introduced to oprah winfrey and then what is that like working with someone who is so loved and so

37:11The Bossticks:powerful and so extraordinary so with the big quiet which became my focal point for the 10 years after I ran my record label, we went on the road and we were bringing these mass meditation events to really interesting places throughout the country and eventually the world. And we would tour just like we would tour bands, but we would tour these mass meditations. And it was cool for me because I went from being behind the stage, supporting talent, performing at places like Coachella to actually being on the stage, guiding meditation, speaking, talking about things we're talking about here. And my team and I were touring in Chicago.

37:48The Bossticks:We actually did a big, quiet event at the Museum of Natural History there. And Oprah's team came to the event. And they had been producing Oprah's next arena tour, which was going to be happening in a few months. And they thought that the big, quiet experience would be something that would be interesting for her programming and for the audience. And Oprah is a big meditator. She's also a really big proponent of quiet and a lot of the stuff that we've talked about. So they suggested that I come on tour. Um, initially it was just the first tour stop that I was going to be on and they gave me a 30 minute slot.

38:25The Bossticks:It was really fun. I did like a little mini Ted talk. I guided a meditation for about 15 ,000 people, which was unreal because at that point in the big quiet, we were doing like five, six, 7 ,000 people, but 15 ,000 people enclosed in a space. if one person coughs, everybody hears it. If one person or if one box up in the corner of the arena decides that they want to party and just talk, everybody would hear it. Oh, I'd fuck up your whole event. I got this cough that's for a little persistent.

38:52Jesse Israel:Here's a fake cough. It'd be so annoying. Thank God that he hasn't gone to your event. Wait, did anyone talk and fuck it up? So I was a little nervous for that first one, especially on one of the biggest stages in the

39:04The Bossticks:world with Oprah. And you, like you could hear a pin drop. It was really powerful. Actually, there was quite a bit of emotion in the room. And then for the last 10 minutes of my stage segment, Oprah decided to interview me. She asked me questions kind of on the spot. And it was, it was a really special moment. She really appreciated the meditation. And I think that I felt like we had a nice connection on stage. And when I said goodbye the next day, and they were about to go on this, you know, 10 week journey touring arenas throughout the U S the producer called me the next day and was like, Oprah really enjoyed the experience.

39:42The Bossticks:She liked you. Would you be open to coming for the whole tour? So, you know, I was like, I had to check my schedule.

39:47Jesse Israel:What is the most amazing thing that Oprah's taught you?

39:53The Bossticks:The problem. So there was a lot. I mean, what was really cool about touring was with Oprah was learning from Oprah. And the first thing that comes to mind is seeing the way that she treats her employees and the people that have helped her build what she does today.

40:09Jesse Israel:She's the best at bringing other people up with her. She doesn't have to be, what's it called? Benevolent? Benevolent. But like, yeah, some people say there's benevolent kings, benevolent queens, people that basically give and bring people up without asking for anything in return, right? And they just like, they just lend their platform or their resources to help. Joe Rogan does that. He's done it for a lot of comedians. Yeah. There's a lot. I think you do that, Lauren, for a lot of women or a lot of people, especially people in the service industry and beauty industry. I try to do it all the time.

40:41Jesse Israel:I think that it's important. Yeah. No, but I think Oprah is the blue. I mean, she put a lot of people on the map.

40:49The Bossticks:So many. Yeah. And what's interesting was I'm specifically referring to the people that aren't in the public spotlight because she's done that for so many people who've built their public-facing careers. but Oprah has crazy retention. The people that have worked with her have worked with her for coming up on 40 years. Which... And you know that that's rare especially when you have like a major public figure like that.

41:13Jesse Israel:I've got a barnacle behind here that's Taylor O 'Connor that's worked with us for 20. Barnacle. That's just because... Barnacle. He knows... The big barnacle. He knows we know some of the things that he's so no i'm just kidding no yeah we've been i mean taylor and i've been together for what taylor 20 years now closely yeah the thing that that i saw that was really cool was the last

41:38The Bossticks:night of tour actually this is the final tour stop there's a wrap party it was in denver and i think most people at oprah's level at a wrap party like this they would come they'd show face for a little bit and then they'd leave there were 300 people that toured for this event it was a really big tour and what oprah did at this event was she had the production team build a little stage at the wrap party they like rented a huge restaurant they had a little stage built and oprah took three hours spent three hours inviting up the key people of her team one by one onto the stage with her and each time one of these individuals would come up on stage she would thank them and she would recognize them for their greatest gifts like she can see people in their zone of genius but she's able to say, you helped us make this tour successful because of this unique gift that you have, that only you have.

42:31The Bossticks:So people felt recognized and celebrated, but they also felt seen for their superpower. And I saw each person get off that stage just like on fire, so lit up. I saw her do that for three hours straight. And it's genuine, you know? And I'm like, those are the things that have allowed her to keep that team to be able to have the reach and impact that she has.

42:52Jesse Israel:Taylor you're the best producer you're the best barnacle you're literally so responsive if it's after 2pm PST you're so good at interrupting our shows for Postmates deliveries I love it so much revealing my phone number on air thank you for sharing my home address and where my children sleep to the audience if you could wave a wand and have everyone do three things for their nervous system what would those things be?

43:23The Bossticks:the first one I'm really passionate about this one is for people to understand that feeling uncomfortable emotions is the greatest gateway to their power. It's easier said than done. But if you feel anger, this understanding or this thinking that anger is bad, that there's something wrong with us, that anger is something that we need to push down or hide, it's not accurate. If we can find healthy ways to release anger, healthy ways to grieve, to cry, especially for men, we can learn how to feel emotions that are trapped inside of us. Emotion is essentially energy that gets trapped in ourselves.

43:58The Bossticks:When we feel it, it leaves ourselves. And what we notice is that old patterns, the limiting beliefs, the things that have kept our nervous system stuck and triggered, it starts to shift and leave. It's one of the best tools to reset in the nervous system. Feel feelings when you feel them. I got a whole crying practice I can get into if I need to.

44:15Jesse Israel:Make Michael and Taylor cry.

44:18The Bossticks:That's pretty easy.

44:19Jesse Israel:Really? Yeah. It is. Yeah, just bitching at me and I'll start crying. That's what you think will make you cry? No, I'm just kidding. No, there's things. No, I think what you said about men is really important because there's something that I think many men are ingrained with where it's like you feel like you shouldn't, like you're not supposed to do it. Yeah. Right? Since I've had children, I've... You cry all the time about the children. Yeah.

44:47The Bossticks:Well, I think it opens... In like a heart-opening way. Yeah, in a heart-opening way.

44:51Jesse Israel:But I mean, for sure, when I was younger, like, and I think this is changing now, but like, you just think you're not supposed to do that. You think you're just supposed to push it down deep, you know? Yeah, totally. And I think it does a lot. I think then with men, unfortunately, a lot of times it comes out with aggression, right? And then that creates a ton of problems.

45:10The Bossticks:Yeah, the wounds that men carry tend to repeat when we don't allow ourselves to access those feelings. I do a lot of coaching and advising for business leaders and executives, celebrities, stuff like that. And a lot of the sort of high-powered male archetype that I tend to work with a lot in business, it always starts with, I'll introduce them to meditation, I'll get them meditating. And there's like six months where it's just meditation, building awareness, starting to soothe the nervous system. And then we'll reach this point where we can start to get into feeling emotion. And when these guys start to learn how to release anger in a healthy way or cry, it's crazy.

45:43The Bossticks:When these guys learn, they've been told that crying is a weakness their whole lives. And then they learn how to release that trapped energy and grief or sorrow from whatever they've been holding onto from their past. They come out on the other side, performing at their businesses at a whole other level, showing up for their family and kids at a whole other level, and being able to enjoy their lives at a whole other level through the gateway of feeling something that they were always told to make them weak.

46:07Jesse Israel:Let's take a quick break to talk about Just Thrive, one of our favorite long-term partners. If you've accepted bloat cravings in that post-meal crash after eating as your new normal, I'm challenging you to feel better. And I'm giving you the cheat code, the Just Thrive Gut Essentials Bundle. It pairs two clinically proven gut superstars, the Just Thrive Probiotic, which we've been taking for years now, and their new digestive bitters. This duo packs a massive punch when it comes to taking care of your gut. The Just Thrive Probiotic is the only probiotic clinically proven to arrive 100 % alive in your gut for a difference you'll actually feel.

46:37Jesse Israel:We're talking less bloat, better energy, and even clear skin. Then there's the digestive bitters. It packs 12 science-backed herbs in one tasteless capsule that jumpstarts your digestion and supports GLP-1 production so cravings don't control you. We've done multiple episodes with the Just Thrive founders. The most recent one, we talk all about these digestive bitters and, of course, gut health and how to take care of yourself and your body. We've learned that gut plays such an integral part in our overall health, which is why it's so important to make sure we're supplementing the right way. Together, these two will transform the health of your gut so you can feel like your best self fast.

47:10Jesse Israel:There's even a 100 % money-back guarantee, so you've got nothing to lose. For over a decade, Just Thrive has been helping thousands of people take control of their health with science-backed solutions you can trust, including Lauren and me. So check them out. Take the Just Thrive Feel Better Challenge today and save 20 % on your first gut essentials bundle. Visit justthrivehealth.com slash skinny and save 20 % off with promo code skinny. See the difference for yourself or get a full product refund. No questions asked. That's justthrivehealth.com slash skinny. Be the best you with Just Thrive. Two things in my kitchen at all times.

47:42Jesse Israel:Kettle and Fire's beef tallow. It's what I cook my son's eggs with. I even use it for mommy waffles. And I also have Kettle and Fire's bone broth. And I have bone broth every single morning. I love it with my electrolytes in the morning. These two products are so important to me because they're high quality ingredients. and they're things that I could just use seamlessly and integrate into my cooking daily. With the bone broth, I'll also put it in my kids' rice. So I'll give them rice and I'll put a little bone broth in there for some protein, vitamins, minerals. I like to add ginger, lemon, cayenne, rosemary, all these delicious things to my bone broth.

48:25Jesse Israel:And then like I said, their beef tallow is absolutely amazing to cook with. You can't go wrong. It's such a great swap and it really solves the whole issue of like, which oil do I use? I use it really like for everything. And what's great is the kids don't even notice. In fact, they like it. And for a limited time, our listeners can head to kettleandfire.com slash skinny and use code skinny for 25 % off sitewide. The discount applies to all Kettle and Fire products, including their beef tallow. It's an exclusive limited time offer, so definitely take advantage. That's K-E-T-T-L-E and fire.com slash skinny.

49:02Jesse Israel:You can now pick up their beef tallow at select Sprouts, Whole Foods and Kroger locations nationwide. Or you could just go to kettleandfire.com slash skinny and use code skinny to get 25 % off. Lauren and I are absolutely psychotic about the wellness products that we take, that we give to our kids and that we use on a consistent basis. We spend so much time researching, figuring out what the best products are, and we also look for the founders who have the right intention. That's why when we met Dr. Autumn Smith on this show and talked all about her brand Paleo Valley, we have been huge fans ever since.

49:32Jesse Israel:We've talked to her twice now on this podcast because she's doing some incredible things with her brand, all clean ingredients, no artificial ingredients, and what we think is one of the best varieties when it comes to a single brand. Lauren and I love her bone broth protein. I think the chocolate flavor is incredible. I use it in my protein shakes. I use it after a workout. I use it before bed sometimes. They also have these beef sticks that are fermented. So there's no unnatural ingredients, no artificial flavors or sweeteners, and they taste incredible, giving you a great protein pickup, a great snack.

49:59Jesse Israel:When we travel, when we're in the office, when our kids are a little hungry, when they have so many amazing varieties of these beef sticks, you can't go wrong. They also have this organ complex. We've talked on the last episode with Dr. Autumn Smith, the importance of getting all the right essential minerals and vitamins. And here's the thing. Our modern diets don't always enable us to get these. This is why this organ complex is incredible. If you don't eat liver, Paleo Valley has an incredible organ complex that's going to give you all of the best vitamins, minerals, and nutrients for your body, especially if you struggle to get them in your diet.

50:29Jesse Israel:So check Paleo Valley out. We love pretty much every product from this company. We take it ourselves. We give it to our children. We recommend it to our friends, and you really can't go wrong. Head to paleovalley.com slash skinny or use code skinny at checkout for 20 % off your first purchase. That's paleovalley.com slash skinny or use code skinny at checkout. This episode is brought to you by Lauren Bostic for P-Volv. That's right. I have launched a kit with P-Volv. I designed every single aspect of this kit with the P-Volv team and it is gorgeous as you can see. We have 8 pound weights, 12 pound weights, 15 pound weights because I am so passionate about getting women to lift heavier and this kit has heavy weights in it and it also has everything you need for stability and mobility.

51:14Jesse Israel:So in this kit, you're really getting everything you could ever want when it comes to fitness. You're also getting access to my P-Volv trainer, Dani Coleman. She also happens to be Jennifer Aniston's trainer. She's coached me along this P-Volv journey. P-Volv has been something that I keep going back to for the last seven years. I've had three babies and it's helped me stay in shape and tighten and tone up. I love the founder, Rachel, I think she's an absolute genius. So when she came to me and wanted to create this custom kit for you guys, I was like, let's do it. It's limited edition. It's gorgeous.

51:49Jesse Israel:It comes in the most beautiful box ever. And the best part is everything is built with intention. So P-Volves core strength pillars are strength, mobility, and stability. And this kit hits all of them. This is product that you want out in your living room, in your office. It's aesthetically pleasing. It's gorgeous. But most importantly, it works. If you want to shrink your body composition and change your life, start lifting heavy and implement stability and mobility. Lauren Bostick for P-Volve has all of the things. Like I said, this is a limited edition kit. It's called Strength Evolved. And once it's gone, it's gone.

52:28Jesse Israel:If you're looking for low impact but intense workouts, check out P-Volv. Head to pvolv.com slash skinny and use code skinny for 15 % off site-wide or on class packs at a P-Volv studio near you. And definitely grab this kit, you guys. Because like I said, once it's gone, it's gone. Lauren Bostick for P-Volv. That's so interesting when my little son, he's three, he gets cranial sacral therapy.

52:53The Bossticks:Great stuff. That's what my ex did, yeah. Isn't it amazing? Yeah.

52:57Jesse Israel:It's like amazing.

52:59The Bossticks:Great stuff.

53:00Jesse Israel:The best. But he's getting it. And when he's done or during sometimes, he has this release of emotion and he'll start bawling, crying. And what I've noticed is when it's happening, it can sound like almost like a tantrum. He's getting it all out. And then when he's done, he's like calm.

53:20The Bossticks:Yes.

53:20Jesse Israel:It's bizarre. So I can see what you're saying in a different.

53:24The Bossticks:That is so good for him. I know. I know. That is so good for him. I don't disagree with that.

53:30Jesse Israel:Well, when you see the credit card every month, you're like, holy fuck, Lauren, why do you have to spend all this? Can you explain? Cranial sacral is my handbag and shoes. Can you explain? My thing is, and listen, you could just drive down to the office nine minutes away. I like efficiency. And save like literally three times the cost and just do it in the office. Not with three kids. I'm not doing that. You can do it with three kids. I go to the office. But tell us why cranial sacral is so amazing.

53:53The Bossticks:Sometimes I look at the credit card bill and I start crying.

53:55Jesse Israel:Jesse's the perfect person to ask.

53:57The Bossticks:cranial sacral therapy. So first of all, my ex that I've referenced, she's a cranial sacral therapist. So I got a lot of free tune-ups, which I now miss. That sounds, you know,

54:08Jesse Israel:they're going to pull that clip, Jesse. Your ex gave you a lot of free tune-ups. Tell us about those.

54:15The Bossticks:Cranial sacral is so great because it's, so they call it like the Rolls Royce of body work. Shout out Melissa Duffy, my ex, who's a great cranial sacral therapist. But, and Maria, it is a really meaningful, it's like a really gentle massage that essentially is a way to get in touch with the neural network and this very subtle network of the nervous system. that when it's given guidance, when it's given gentle touch, when energy is kind of supported to move through it, the blocks that get stored and held in our nervous system, and a lot of them are emotional blocks, start to be able to flow more fluidly.

54:59The Bossticks:There's an actual fluid that moves through our brain. It gets blocked up when the nervous system is messed up. So when it starts to move more fluidly, things start to move in flush, like what you see with your son as an emotional release. But then when it leaves the system, nervous system gets back into its natural healthy flow so it's about moving that fluid i am so

55:19Jesse Israel:passionate about what this has done for my family i started with my baby because i think everyone should look into this when the baby comes out because they have like a birth trauma through coming through the canal or being pulled out through c-section that's real so it's the lightest touch and the baby it was like we had the calmest easiest baby and i attribute a lot of that to getting everything aligned after being born. And then from there, it was the first one we did it with. And he's our third. So like the first two, we didn't do that. Right. And so then I was like, Oh, why don't you do it on me?

55:51Jesse Israel:And I was like, like whatever. And she did it. And I've been doing it once a week for nine months. And I feel like it's been nine years of therapy, like talk therapy in nine months. And I sent my dad to her. He's obsessed. Both my kids go to her. I also think, as you said, it helps with their detox pathways. So if it's hard to detox for certain kids, it's really great. And then Michael did it. But she said Michael's one of the most difficult people to get through, that it's like a moat with alligators. No, but I think because... I let her right in. She touches me. I'm like, ah! No, but I'm trying to do it.

56:29Jesse Israel:And I think it's because, especially for a lot of men, you push things down and they get buried deep. And this is a real tangent, but I was having these back issues and I read this book by this guy, Dr. Sarno, which I recommend to everyone that has back, I don't know if you've heard of it, called Healing Back Pain. And what you realize is like headaches, ulcers or back pain, or a lot of these things that we think are pain, it's the subconscious mind pushing pain out of your mind and into a physical place in your body. And so when you learn these things, a lot of this pain largely goes away. I think the same thing with cranial sacral is you got to be able to penetrate.

57:05Jesse Israel:But for some people, it's harder than others, especially if you, I don't want to generalize for men, but especially if you've been a man that's been told your whole life, like, hey, bury that stuff deep and don't talk about it. Like it just, it gets, it gets stuck in a different way. You have to, you have to work harder to dig it out. It takes more time to get in there.

57:19The Bossticks:Yeah. I've also found that, and this is one that anybody can do without a cranial sacral therapist, without any money the exchange, such a great one for all people, but especially for men is this anger release practice. If you feel anger coming up, our tendency is to either release it in a violent way or to suppress it. And my favorite anger release tools, you go into a bathroom, you go into a place where you're gonna be by yourself essentially, and you grab a big towel, like a shower towel, and you squeeze it. Essentially like you wring the towel dry as hard as you can, like this. And you put all of the anger and all of the emotion, all the shit that you're feeling into that squeeze.

58:02And if you're able to, you can let out a big yell.

58:06The Bossticks:If there are people in nearby rooms and you're not comfortable doing it, that's okay. But you just put all of the energy into it. You can't break the towel. So you can give everything to it. And you'll feel a really intense, energetic force move through the body, goes into the towel. and when we release it we notice it's it's a noticeable change it's like almost like a little sensation of bliss afterwards next time you're being rude to me you better go in that

58:34Jesse Israel:bathroom and you better ring the children hear me doing war cries in the bathroom as they're trying to get in just fighting my demons in the bathroom with a towel i mean listen that's a good way to release it's a great way to might kill two birds with one stone they might want to the kids might back off the bathroom a little bit until I get a little privacy. Just hear me in there screaming my lungs out. We need to put our phone away. We need to take breaks. We need to stop with all the stimulation all the time. And we need to have nervous system resets. Is there anything else that you would leave our audience with that you think is really valuable?

59:07The Bossticks:I just think in addition, a lot of what we've talked about today is creating space, right? And distance from our devices and making time for ourselves, being in nature and these practices are so important but i also just believe so much that another key to nervous system health but also like moving into our power and feeling like we can really be the person we're here to be is through connection and i think it's it's so important that with the closest people in our lives we push ourselves to be vulnerable and to be very real with what we're experiencing because i think it's such a powerful medicine i was i was reading recently about Robin Dunbar, who's a celebrated anthropologist, sociologist.

59:52The research that he's been seeing shows that the single greatest predictor of mental health,

1:00:00The Bossticks:physical health, and longevity out of anything that he's seen through his research right now is the quality of relationships with the three to five people that you're closest with. so the quality of the relationship with the three to five people that you're closest with is the single greatest determinator of your health mental health longevity so i just think that there's there's so much there about leaning into connection with people um forming like coming back and forming bonds with people in our lives that we've lost touch with you know um really making sure that that we're investing in the people that matter most because it's it's such a critical part of being human.

1:00:40The Bossticks:And there's also such a meaningful personal benefit to going there.

1:00:45Jesse Israel:Jesse, thank you so much for coming on the show. Where can everyone find you and where can they support the Big Quiet Movement?

1:00:53The Bossticks:People can learn more about me. I'm on Instagram at Jesse Israel and my website, jesseisreal.com.

1:01:01Jesse Israel:Go DM him possum penis. Thank you, Jesse. I want to do... You didn't know it was going to go there, did you? I'm going to do that. I want to try to do that either one or two, at least two day thing. We should both do that and just take a week. Here's one question. I love that idea. Can you ever do it together? No, no, no. No. Okay, I'm just wondering.

1:01:18The Bossticks:Doesn't it take the purpose away from the quiet then? It changes it.

1:01:22Jesse Israel:It changes the energy.

1:01:22The Bossticks:Some people will experiment doing it as a couple without talking, but it is different.

1:01:29Jesse Israel:I would suggest as a starting point,

1:01:31The Bossticks:you each do it individually.

1:01:32Jesse Israel:Okay, you can go first. We don't have to go so far, but you can go we'll find a place yeah yeah cool i i think you especially are so cerebral um i'm gonna go scream in the with my towel no if you don't have like air i feel like it's it's not good i i'm more micro i get i do my 30 minutes of meditation every morning you do 30 great every morning great he does i do joe dispensa i love him it's changed you do the more that specifically that morning meditation he's he that meditation has built my like a lot of my career because what i look at it like is a strategy session with myself that's and because some people are like i don't have time to meditate i have time for a 30 minute strategy session with myself i've built my business the podcast in that 30 minutes and the life that i want he sometimes does joe no what i what you like to do is he needs to go away like a cat cats go away to die Lauren yeah you need to go away and you need to be left alone and you're lucky I know that about no no no I I prefer and again I'm not an expert in this I'm still trying to learn what I've noticed about myself is I prefer when there's not somebody's voice talking to me during the meditation I like it more either like some kind of music or sound or quiet yeah I don't I mean listen and I like Joe and some others but I found that if I had the choice between the two I like when it's you know who else I like every night I like to do but this one I don't do like I do while I'm like doing my skincare is Louise Hay evening meditation.

1:03:01The Bossticks:Oh yeah. Yeah.

1:03:02Jesse Israel:I love her. Yeah. She's OG.

1:03:04The Bossticks:Oh, what's the name of the, of the Joe one that you do every morning? Do you remember?

1:03:07Jesse Israel:I'll show it to you. It's called the morning meditation.

1:03:10The Bossticks:That's the one I thought. Yeah. Yeah. I've done it before. It's very, very solid.

1:03:12Jesse Israel:It's like you meditate on the future of yourself. So you think like where you are in a year and where you are in five years and where you are in 10 years. And you think about you doing that 30 minutes every day, you literally create the life you want. I find it to be, I mean, there's no better business advice. Go have a 30 minute strategy session with yourself, build your business, your family, your life in that 30 minutes. Everything that I've wanted to happen has happened. Of course, systems have helped me get there, but the overall vision, that meditation is really powerful.

1:03:44The Bossticks:Yeah. Cool. That's awesome to hear that you do it every day.

1:03:47Jesse Israel:But I could go wait. I could still go away for two days though.

1:03:50The Bossticks:yeah I and I have a protocol I can share with you guys if you want I would love it I send people on it so you actually like have a light itinerary for what you do by yourself it's really effective

1:03:59Jesse Israel:I'm gonna give you my thank you jesse thank you