The Truth About Your 20s & 30s: Life Lessons On Mindset, Money, Relationships, & Growth With Michael Bosstick & Mimi Evarts

26:25It's very hardcore. He has a genre.

26:30Michael Bosstick:I just rattled like, I mean, there's probably like 30 I'm missing. Okay, let's move on. I could go on about, we can make a whole episode about this. We know. Okay. What's your take on the idea of outgrowing people? I think that you have to distinguish between being in different stages, outgrowing, and then like maybe friendships or relationships that turn toxic. Okay. So like, we'll start with like friendships that turn toxic. There are some friends and relationships that you will have. And as that relationship unfolds, either your life's change or the way you think about life changes or people mature at different levels.

27:11Michael Bosstick:And, you know, maybe as that's going on, one of the friends becomes bitter or resentful and starts to kind of diminish the other person or put down the other person or kind of like cheer for their downfall behind their back. In those instances, I'm pretty cutthroat. And I'm like, you got to be able to cut ties and walk, family included. How do you know? Is it one instance? If you're with somebody consistently that you know is not happy for you and even taking it a step further and hoping that you stumble in life or that something doesn't go well for you, then I think that... And everyone has that kind of person in their life at some point.

27:49Michael Bosstick:Then you have to decide like, hey... And I said family included because sometimes this happens with family. You have to be able to cut ties with those people. Now, I also have relationships with some of my best friends from childhood where many of us are in different places. One of my best friends, Steven, you know, shout out Steven. He's in Chicago. He's doing amazing things with Russian. We haven't seen each other in six years, which is crazy for me to think about. I was like, my daughter's almost six. He's one of my best friends in the world. If I saw him tomorrow, we would pick up where we left off like nothing else happened.

28:21Michael Bosstick:We don't get to talk as much. We send each other memes here in a while. but in that instance it's like we he's in a different state i'm a different state he's doing his thing i'm doing my thing you i think in those instances you got to be like let's put the let's just pump the brakes and be on pause for a second maybe nice to check in a little bit more but i'm not you know it's okay like it doesn't mean like we have to like be in different we don't have to stop being friends we don't have to not be close we also don't have to call attention to it and be like oh why haven't i seen there's nothing worse than a high maintenance like i I haven't seen you.

28:51Michael Bosstick:You didn't call me. It's like people, people will get busy, especially as you get older. For young people in their twenties, this is worth hearing because as people get into their thirties and they start to get into serious relationships and they start to have families and kids and start to do businesses, like you only have so much attention. So, you know, the girls trip that you used to go on every week, like that, maybe those become less or like picking up the phone and having a guy's night every week. It's going to, maybe that's going to change. Right. I think the friends who make you feel bad about those decisions are the ones that get left behind or you outgrow.

29:21Yeah.

29:21Michael Bosstick:I mean, if you, if you can't sit down with one of those people and say, Hey, love you, respect you, wish we could spend more time, but this is going on. Then I think you just, you know, you have to, you, that's, that's maybe a red flag. It's a selfish friend, I think. Yeah. Because a good friend, in my opinion, recognizes the stage. Like again, my friend, Steven, if you hear this, Steven, he's, I could be like, why haven't you come see my kids? And why haven't you done this? Why haven't you done that? but I know right now he's trying to create his bar and his restaurant. He's in a different state and it's hard and it requires a lot of effort.

29:51Michael Bosstick:And like, I get it. Like I've been there. There was a stage when I was trying to do those things. And so I don't beat him up about it. And I think like, that's what a solid friendship is. Like to me, the best friendships are the ones where it's like, if you saw him yesterday or a year from now, you could pick up like nothing happened with no pressure, no real demands on the friendship. And then I think as it goes for outpacing people, and this is just a sad truth of life. I remember looking at Lauren one time and saying, Hey, just so you know, some of the friends you have aren't going to be able to follow where you're going.

30:21Michael Bosstick:And some of the, and I don't mean that from a financial perspective. I just mean from like a lifestyle perspective, you know, some of the friends wanted to continue to stay single and run around and, you know, maybe not do the things she's doing, like building a family and having kids. And same with me. I do not get invited to the guy's golf trip, whatever the hell they're doing. Not that I want to, please don't invite me. I'm not out on the weekends at the bars all the time. I'm now in a marriage for a long time with three small children running a company. And we've talked about it on the show.

30:54Michael Bosstick:I have to pick and choose. Some of my best friends are single, childless, and doing all those things. So we're just at different stages of our life, and that's okay. At one point, they're going to get into the situation I'm in. I'm going to have older kids. We hope. We do hope. Rooting for you guys. Again, you just have to, I think, to me, the definition of being a good friend is I'm there if you really need me. I like to think that if one of my close friends picks up the phone and calls me for something, within reason, not some absurd thing, but if I can help them, that I'm there in two seconds, but there's also not the demand of me being at every birthday party or every get together or every barbecue or whatever the hell they're doing.

31:34Michael Bosstick:You know what I mean? Yeah. I think it's immature when people do that to other people. And the friendships that I've pulled away from is when people are like really high maintenance like that. Same with Lauren. I think like I'm not going to speak for her, but I kind of will actually. Like the friendship she's pulled away from her is like when there's someone that's immature and not recognizing the stage of life that she's in. Yeah. Like a friend of mine. Hi, Alex. I'll just call him. That's Alex. he's like hey i know you just had your third kid but me and the guys are going to europe for like two weeks do you want to bounce around with us for a while i'm like yeah sure let me go tell lauren that i'm gonna leave her with the newborn and the two the three-year-old and the five home from summer yeah i'm just gonna bounce around in europe with you guys i'm like i might as well just like should just kill me yeah i'm just like i'll just know she would say go have fun yeah that's like terrifying right but like that's an absurd you'd come back it'd be like when the grinch comes into cindy lou's house there'd be like a an olive left in the house but that's like an absurd thing to ask them right but again i can't hold it against him because he's still single without kids so like he just doesn't get you know again if you don't have children on that responsibility like you would think like that of course you could go for two weeks and just like bounce around you're without your wife but he doesn't care he invites you because he wants to be around you he's like hoping you come but he's not yeah but the chance it's like the chance that i would have said yes are 0.0 like it was not even like you know he's always holding out hope it was 0.0 percent chance he's gonna listen to this you think so yeah yeah you think he listens to every episode he's a good friend yeah he he talks to me about really yeah oh my gosh that's the thing i'm not high minutes but i force all of my friends to listen to every episode i put out i'm just kidding i don't what's going on with this thing on your wrist this is my apollo neuro you can't see it i have discovered this recently because I measure my sleep scores and all these things and everything is like really good except my HRV.

33:32Michael Bosstick:What's that? It's your heart rate variable and you want it to be, I think it has to do with stress. And so it's not bad, but everything else that I've been working on is good. And it's like average, my HRV score. And so this helps with stress. It helps with deep sleep. It helps with like your nervous system and nervous system regulation. Lauren thinks the next big thing is going to be nervous system regulation. And so apparently - Is that like, what is your nervous system? How do you regulate it? What do you mean? I don't know. That's why I'm trying to fix it. Is that when you get chemicals that are - That's why my nervous system is all fucked up probably.

34:07Michael Bosstick:That's why I'm wearing this thing. I thought you had high cortisol. Is that what it's saying? That your HRV is bad because of that? Actually - Or high adrenaline? A lot of times people with cortisol issues is because they don't have high enough cortisol in the morning because they're not getting enough sunlight or whatever. I'm sure you have cortisol in the morning. I've been misfortunate enough to experience it. I've heard that I can't switch off that well. So it's like always on. And so I need to do things to slow down. And so what this does is it slowly vibrates on you and you can wear it at your ankle for sleep to help you sleep and stay asleep.

34:41Michael Bosstick:And then in the day, it's vibrating right now. And it gives you, like you do something for focus, you could do something for stress. It's vibrating because you're doing something bad? No. You have these programs on your phone and then we'll jump off because people are like, what are you talking about? It's called the Apollo Neuro. The Apollo Neuro is a wearable device that uses gentle, low-frequency vibrations to help regulate your nervous systems. It's designed to improve stress resilience, HRV, sleep quality, focus and calm, recovery, and mood. And they have different programs. So I'm testing it right now.

35:08Interesting. Yeah.

35:10Michael Bosstick:I feel pretty good on it, actually. Let me know how you like it. Probably going to be sold out now that I've just plugged it on this show. It sounded like an ad. You should have got stock in the company. Big miss Carson. Should have called that out. Another L for Carson. Let's talk about Just Thrive. Is that cookie calling your name at 3 p.m.? The midnight fridge raids? The extra slice of pizza you swore you wouldn't eat? If you feel like your cravings control you, it's not just willpower. It's your gut crying for help. This is exactly why I love talking about Just Thrive, their probiotics, and now their new product which we're obsessed with, their digestive bitters.

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40:08Michael Bosstick:Go to H-I-Y-A-H-E-A-L-T-H.com slash skinny and get your kids the full body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults. I wanted to talk to you about books today because this is one of your favorite things to talk about, I think. And it's something that you do when you're trying to unwind, right? So first of all, I want to know how many books you read a year. Because you love to brag about this one. No, I don't. Yes, you do. I don't love to brag about it. I try at a minimum to read at least one book per week. but I don't get stuck on the numbers because what if you read a book that is like 1500 pages versus one that's like 250 or 300 yeah you know and some are more dense than others but I try I'm doing this new reading challenge that I really have to post and I don't know what it's called apologies I found it online somehow and it's basically like this form that you fill out that has, that you have to, so like one of them will be like, you have to read a science fiction book.

41:16Michael Bosstick:Another one would be like, you have to read a book that won the Pulitzer Prize. One has, one's like, it's a book that starts with a number. Another one's like a young adult novel, which is how I ended up reading The Fourth Wing, which we'll talk about. I didn't realize I wasn't young adult. It says you have to read a classic. So like I read In Cold Blood this year. This is like a classic. And it, anyways, it's like 40 books and you have to, and what it does is it forces you to read like really different things. because as I've gotten older and gone along, I found myself a lot of time reading the same genres over and over and over or the same kind of things.

41:46Michael Bosstick:I remember in 2015, I must have read nothing but business books. And then I got really sick of them. And then maybe 2016, I read nothing but self-help. And I think you get stuck. So now I do this thing where it forces me to figure out how to read different things. I like that. It exposes you. Call it 40 to 50 books a year. Okay. Nothing too crazy. What's one book that completely changed the way you think about business? Well, there's a book called How to Stop Worrying and Start Living. It's a really good book and it's an older book. Was it Dale Carnegie that wrote it or Napoleon Hill? It was one of those guys.

42:29That was How to Make Friends and Win and Influence Others.

42:31Michael Bosstick:So a lot of people know. Okay, so it's Dale Carnegie. So a lot of people know him from How to Win Friends, How to Make Friends and Influence People. What is that? What is it called? Influence Others. And Influence Others. Yeah. And that's a great book and it's classic and everyone should read it. But he wrote a book that I like better called How to Stop Worrying and Start Living. And as somebody who in my younger years was a perpetual worrier or stressor and still am sometimes, it's an older book and it basically points out the flaw in worrying all the time and why it's like pretty useless and also doesn't do anything but make you worry more and hurt you more.

43:06Michael Bosstick:And so that I like that book and I find myself like once in a while, I'll like open my Kindle and go back and just like read a random page or a chapter. So whenever I find myself like stressed or worried or thinking too far into the future, I'll read that book. And I think it's like, it's a really good shift because for someone who's wired to kind of like overthink or overstress, which is a lot of people, it's a helpful book and it's old. It holds up the test of time. But yeah, he's, that one gets overlooked because he had the other one, which is such a massive hit. okay that one there's others i'm adding that to my list never read that one i never told you that one maybe you've told me i definitely read how to make friends and influence others okay okay maybe this is the same sort of thing but is there one book that you constantly revisit or reread or go back to i have one that you told me about you got me the daily stoic and i go back to the daily stoic all the time i love the daily stoic anything okay so this is going to sound like a strange thing.

44:00Michael Bosstick:So two of my favorite authors are James Clavel and Larry McMurtry and they're, you know, fiction writers primarily, but Larry McMurtry run the Pulitzer Prize for Lonesome Dove and James Clavel just, that show Shogun is based on his, it's an old book, but he's got Shogun and Taipan and Noble House. And I go, they're really long, dense books, but I go, I've read each of them probably like three or four times because they just hold up so well. Also, anytime I'm kind of like feeling like stuck in life. I like history a lot and I love Robert Green and I've had the pleasure of meeting him. I like to read power or 33 strategies of war or mastery.

44:37Michael Bosstick:So I go back to those, even like his human laws of human nature. Those ones I'll like go back to pretty regularly, but also how to stop worrying, start living, think and grow rich. Like the class, like I find myself going back to the classics a lot, but I like, if I need to like, just like decompress and I want to read something good, I'll read something by Larry McMurtry or James Clavel. When I was first dating my boyfriend, if he was doing something, I would go and read a chapter in the Laws of Seduction. If he's taking too long to respond, I would go and be like, how to create distance for attraction.

45:12Michael Bosstick:That's the only one of his books that I haven't read. You're not trying to seduce your wife? Wouldn't it be weird if Lauren popped in the room and I was neck deep in the Laws of Seduction? it wouldn't be weird Lauren would be like it's weirder when you're reading fourth wing yeah okay granted fourth wing was a little weird no but I mean I just feel like I don't need to be out there seducing people you could always seduce your wife a little bit no I know see now I'm gonna get a hold of it but I'm just saying like if she was like what are you brushing up on there buddy you know what I mean yeah anything can and will be used against you maybe I'll read it I heard it's good for other like just I mean listen I'm sure Robert Green's a genius so I'm sure it's all good yeah Yeah.

45:53Michael Bosstick:That's the one I would read though, like on a caveat, like on a tangent. If I was struggling with dating or single, I would read that one. See, a lot of people think 48 Laws of Power is if you're building a business, wrong. His best business book, in my opinion, is 33 Strategies of War. So if you're starting a business or building a business, power is more about a life. And also if you've already established some power or don't want to lose power, that's a good one. If you're trying to figure out your path in life and you don't really know, mastery is the best one. And then if you're just trying to understand humans in general and just be more rounded in life, I think laws of human nature.

46:30Michael Bosstick:But a lot of people think 48 laws of power is like it is about attaining power, but it's also about keeping power. So for me, it's like you got to figure out the mastery part and then the business part, which is, you know, that's what I would do first with him. I've never read mastery. It's great. I'll add that to my list. Like if you're confused on what your life path is, what your career should be, like that's the best one. If you could tell your 20-year-old self to read one book, what book would it be? Well, okay. I already said Lonesome Dove. I would just usually go to that one. But honestly, if I could tell my 20-year-old self, there's a really interesting book.

47:08Michael Bosstick:So I read Titan by Ron Chernow, which is Rockefeller's biography. be. That's not what I'm telling people to read, but it was a good book. That was a great book. But it inspired me to go down a rabbit hole of Rockefeller because he did so many crazy things. It was obviously the wealthiest person in the world at one point. But I discovered that there was this book that was produced either by his son or somebody who knew his son or the grandson called 33 Letters from Rockefeller to his son. I'm going to butcher that. It's something along those line or seven. I think it's 33, whatever the numbers are.

47:44Michael Bosstick:Emily, maybe we can link it in the show notes at some point. But what's crazy is these were letters that John D. Rockefeller wrote to his eldest son in real life that he gave to him privately that he never thought were going to be published. So some of them are on integrity. Some of them are on building a business. Some of them are on dealing with stress. Some of them are on whatever. And what's so interesting is like, you're in the mind of the wealthiest person in the world that amassed all of this power, that did all of these things in life, that is giving his direct advice to his son that he thinks nobody else but his son will read.

48:26Michael Bosstick:And so I think they were really fascinating because it wasn't just about business. It was about just like life and how he saw it in general. And they're really good because I think it's even better that he didn't realize they were going to be published. so intimate yeah and it's like and you know that you're getting somebody's absolute best advice because they're giving it to the person that they love the absolute most that they you know what i mean so that's like the only intention is for that person to be happy successful all of those things completely without regard to like the public ever seeing it yeah there's nothing to gain for them from that yeah and so there's like a ton of it i mean i think like you can read each letter one by one and so if you're just getting into reading or if you're in your 20s or honestly even if you're older it's just an it's a really interesting book to read because you get basically the greatest advice from one of the most powerful well-accomplished people in the world at the time to his son so that's what i would recommend i love a weird one you should be doing that for your boys write them letters i'm sure you are dear son when your mother is angry never text her calm down oh god you don't do that i've done it i live life on the edge you live to tell the tale it didn't go well.

49:45Yeah. Okay. So now let's get to what everyone wants to know. They want to know your thoughts on fourth wing.

49:58Michael Bosstick:Well, first of all, I thought it was a young adult novel. It's not. People are going to be mad you said that. It's romanticcy, I think. Oh, I learned that. I read the whole thing. I read the whole thing. Just the first book. Just the first book. It's part of my reading challenge. The girls in the office were like really like flabbergasted that I read it they were freaked out in a good way or like a creepy way oh god so what did you think I have thoughts I can see why it's so so here's how it all happened I'm doing my reading challenge that I mentioned to you earlier and I'm filling out the thing and I'm like okay well what's a young adult novel I don't know so I was like on Amazon and you see that book everywhere right it's just like so I figured okay I'll just like read like that looks popular so that's the one i'll choose so i did it and i was reading it and i'm like cool okay like dragons and like knives and fighting and scribes and like i like that stuff i love like academia i like like i read lord of the rings i read this other one oh my god what's this other one you know i read dune i read i read like a lot of stuff you like doing a lot i love dune i read all the dunes and then there's you know i read all these different fans so i'm like cool it's like right up my alley and then i'm thinking it's a young adult novel and i'm like okay it's like not like maybe a little advanced and then all of a sudden these two just start having ridiculous sex like they're going at it like it's like this is like this is like x-rated stuff she's like blowing the dude and he's he's going it's all crazy are you loving it a little bit no i'm sitting well i'm like sitting there next to lauren i'm like i felt like am i supposed to be reading this i felt like you're not like copying a feel i felt like i was 12 years old getting caught watching HBO back in the day.

51:36Michael Bosstick:Maybe I'm too, you guys don't remember this because all the young kids now have computer, but back in the day, like you would turn on your TV and you'd put it to like Showtime or Cinemax at night. And then you'd like set your remote where you could hit last. In case your parents came in. If your parents were up and you hit last and it like goes back to Nickelodeon or something. I felt like I was reading the fourth wing laying next to Lauren at night, just minding my, and that scene happened. I look over, I like felt like I was doing something wrong. Do you think those scenes add to the story? or could you do without it i don't really want to say how i honestly feel because i feel like girls are gonna like like women in particular are gonna get mad at me you know what men read this book too obviously your dad read it you can't just say girls no but i mean like it feels to me like the woman who wrote it rebecca yaros is like maybe not so well versed in the world of real sex okay is that fucked up to say no like i mean like she's meaning like i'm sure like i don't think it's supposed to be real sex though it's supposed to be sex like it was a little over the top like she's like lightning shooting all over the windows are blowing out like i was like she's all right come on now you know she's setting the bar high yeah i'm like come on this dude's probably got three minutes in him like the windows are like it's just it was just a little over the top drew is dying it took away i was reading that book and he's like so like hot and mysterious and like powerful and i'm reading it in bed like kind of getting like i'm like oh my god like this guy's amazing thinking about him and drew comes into the room and he's like singing a little song like dancing around and you're mad that drew can't wield shadows yeah honestly i was like i wish you were him well why can't you be him shoot lightning out of your eyes or whatever no she makes the clouds happen yeah she's like one of those things that you touch and like it see like so i okay so So then the reason I kept going with it is I said, okay, well, it is, I do like the dragons.

53:30Michael Bosstick:I like that she had the one gold one and the one big gray one is gray. Yeah. And I like the other one. Yeah. And I like that part. And then I'd be like, cool, I'm into this again. Like, okay, we're fighting. We're fighting the dragons. They're shooting. There's fires. And then it'd be like, all right, now I'm on my back again, up against wherever she was. It's just like every, I couldn't figure out what was going on. Like it was like every time. So yes, I will finish the trilogy. because I'm in it now. There's a lot of questions, lots of theories going on. I'm not going to spoil the end. How do you know the end?

54:03Michael Bosstick:I knew the end. I knew what was going to happen at the end. Towards the end, I'm like, okay, well, we saw that coming. Yeah. I mean, obviously, they were hinting at it the whole time. There's three books out. I don't think talking about the first one is like a big spoiler. No, but I don't know if people get mad about the spoilers. Just know that she climaxes really hard and lightning shoots everywhere and it changes the world it changes the world and yeah so i don't know i guess the it's a big big talk in the office yeah they're excited about it maybe they'll hear this now and they won't be happy about my assessment i don't think people are reading it for the sex scenes but it does add a little fun no no no no they're reading it now okay the dragon stories are good but But I would think that maybe it wouldn't be as far as it is without some of these lightning spraying climaxes everywhere.

54:58Yeah. You're probably right. What is that? Why do girls love to read that?

55:03Michael Bosstick:Do you guys get together and be like, hey, we're all secretly reading this dragon book. But it's really good. Nobody talks about the sex scenes. You only talk about the plot. You're not like, oh, my God, that was so crazy when he was, I don't know. You know who irritated me the whole time? Who? Dane? Dane. Oh, yeah. that guy you kind of remind me of him a little bit what no i'm not a dane because a total rule he bothered me every time he's just lingering around in the corner yeah he's such a rule follower he's like a guy that sits in the corner in a threesome and just in the shadow in the corner yeah he's like that guy he's just that's honestly so true yeah that's what he was the whole book i'm like why is this guy here all the time you think dane's a cuck he was annoying he was like don't go on the roof don't do that don't get hurt like oh my god fucking bothered me oh my god tell us how you really feel yeah okay here's another question okay if you could live in one book world what book would it be probably the dune world they feel like would you want to be like timothy chalamet isan al-ghalib well yeah obviously the lisa and al-ghalib yeah yeah no because i just feel like they have like the most advanced tech more than star wars well once you get later into the series too there's these big creatures that like live in like tanks the harkonnen no no and they they drive the spaceships around but i feel like that would be like the coolest world because it feels like everything is so advanced there okay not the dragon world that doesn't seem that fun i think the dragon world would be cool what if you were a dragon but it does seem tough like they have to heat the bath with like magic i imagine lots of smells what if you were like one of the but what if you were a dragon person that had like really shitty powers and you just had to live in that one you know that'd be a bummer at least you could be like a normal person in the dune world and be like i'm watching like the best like watching a concert here by myself like on another planet yeah but like some of them the sand people don't live in fancy rooms that's a tough life i would be in like space maybe i'd be a harkonnen because I'm a villain.

57:08You have the body for it.

57:10Michael Bosstick:Fuck off. We could do the last book that made you cry. Well, you know, there's like books like, there's a book called Not Fade Away. When Breath Becomes Air. I think that's a good one. That was like such a good book. There's a really good book. There's one called, which I've said a million times, Man's Search for Meaning, which I think everybody should read all, like anybody, who's anybody, 20s, 30s, 40s, anyone, because it'll give you real perspective. Viktor Frankl, I'm not that like everyone talks about that book, but if you're struggling and you think your life is bad or that your life is unfair or that you're going through something hard, like read that book and you'll never feel bad for yourself again.

57:48Okay.

57:49Michael Bosstick:Really. Went through the Holocaust, lost his whole family, survived it, ended up writing about it. If you read that book and you still think your life's tough, then you can't be saved. What are you reading right now? Are you still reading I Regret Almost Everything? No, I finished that book. I just finished this book called Havana Nocturne, which was about the American mafia in Cuba. I'm reading The Power Broker. I'm reading... You like to read... I think this is something else that's unique about you. You read one book, like you're saying, The Power Broker, which is this certain genre, and then you're reading another genre, and you mix it up.

58:27Michael Bosstick:I did a blog post a while ago called The Three Book Theory on Lauren's blog. You can look it up. I like to read three books at the same time not obviously sitting at the same time. Oh so this is like a thing you purposely do I'm not just noticing this. No no I purposely do it. I thought I was astute. I purposely do it because okay say you want to read like a really dense biography it's really hard to like sit through that the whole time and actually get through it so a lot of people give up. First you should quit a book that sucks if you don't like it just quit it you're never going to read all the books in the world so but if you feel a lot of people feel this weird anxiety they have to like finish every book the book sucks get rid of it but say you like the book but it's really dense and it's just like exhausting.

59:04Michael Bosstick:So like I'll read a dense biography and then maybe I'll read like a fiction and I'll take breaks with that. And then I'll read like a self-help or a nonfiction or a history and I'll rotate them. So like at any given time, I'm reading the three books in the same time. Like, I don't feel like I can only read one before I read the other. I'll be like, okay, I'm tired of reading this one. So let me jump to the fiction to like get a little break. Or if I'm going to bed and I want to fall asleep fast, I'm like, let me get that like dense history book that's going to put me to sleep after four pages.

59:33So you think that maybe helps you finish more books because then you're not forcing yourself? Yeah.

59:37Michael Bosstick:And I also think that a mistake people make with reading is they read the same kind of writer and the same kind of genre over and over and over again. You're like, okay, so if you like Rebecca Yaros, you probably read that. I'm in that right now. Yeah. So you read that and all those in a row, and then you probably read that other one. I already read it. The red title or the red book with the yellow. Yeah, A Court of Thorns and Roses. Yes, you probably read that. And you just do the same thing over and over. what happens is like you get this myopic view of just like one set of reading and then to me like that over time also becomes exhausting because then you've like exhausted all those so you got to like open the horizons i think there's a time and a place though you can like binge all the books for a few months and then move on yeah i mean like i remember when i read like when i was a kid when i read lord of the rings you read i read all of them or like game of thrones before that guy quit writing all of them i read but but anyways the point is like if you just do this like lauren likes to read biography after biography of like hollywood people i'm like she's mixing it up she just suggested a fiction to me yeah i like i think a book should be like if it's too easy to get through and it's just entertaining like a beach read those don't hold my attention but it should be just challenging enough where like stresses your reading comprehension we're like oh this one's a little hard because that's how you're going to learn to read faster and further it's easy all the time it's probably because you're not reading challenging enough stuff yeah it's not giving you anything back what's next okay what's one thing you're working on right now that you would be proud of yourself in your 20s i don't know if i would have been proud of myself in my 20s but i think i'm doing like i think i'm working really hard to do things for not just myself but for others right like i'm doing you know like we do different charitable things we do which we don't talk about all the time.

1:01:20Michael Bosstick:We're doing, you know, things for our, we're building a family. We're doing, you know, we're building these companies and, you know, not only just like servicing herself, but uplifting others. I think like when you're in your twenties, you're so focused on just taking care of yourself. And unfortunately, a lot of times when you're, as you grow older, like many people still stay just being focused on taking care of themselves. I think that you're the, the big, the biggest thing that I've learned is that you can take care of other people and actually have just as much success, if not more, but almost by accident.

1:01:51Michael Bosstick:So like what I've learned over time is the more you help other people and the more you like raise other people up and the more you put other, other things out there that, you know, bring enrichment to other people's lives, it actually like ends up taking care of you. But a lot of times people get so focused on only themselves that they never kind of get past that, that next level. So I think I'd be proud that I've kind of like gotten myself out of the prospect of just servicing ourselves. And, you know, sometimes even things that may look self-serving, like we do a show and we have things that we have to like self-promote.

1:02:18Michael Bosstick:But I don't think people, a lot of people don't see the behind the scenes. I mean, you know, even if I think about Dear Media, there's a hundred other podcasts or in shows besides Lauren and I, then there's an argument to be made that I could have maybe just serviced our show forever. But like we take chances and help build other people up. We didn't have to. So I don't know. I think that building family, doing things beyond just ourselves, I'd be proud as a 20. Maybe at 20, I wouldn't even think that I'd be doing stuff like that yeah that's not something you maybe had on your goal sheet but yeah i was a bit of a selfish prick at 20 20s for sure i think it's up until i was like 25 and then i went through like a mid mid year amid everyone's selfish until they're 25 don't you think yeah i think i think you can be again because you don't your perspective is you like you only have to worry about yourself until then you know but that's fine i think one thing that i regret from my 20s is sometimes i I felt like I was trying to grow up too fast and I wish that I would have just like enjoyed the moment a little bit more.

1:03:19I wanted to be in the next step and I wasn't appreciating that it was just having fun and low stakes. Yeah.

1:03:27Michael Bosstick:And like the funny thing is, is I'm probably, you know, I've gotten better at it, but I'm probably still thinking the same, like that similar thought patterns now, which is why it's helpful to see. Like I listen to a lot of people that are further along than us. And I, I always get excited when you have a guy that's in his late forties or late fifties or even sixties saying like, Hey, I still feel so young. I still have so much time. I think it's like helpful to know because you, you, again, you start to compare and you see all these people that are so much further along and you're like, Oh, I got to do it right now.

1:03:56Michael Bosstick:And funny enough is like. My expectations when I meet somebody in their early 20s, somebody that comes to me and tells me they have it all figured out in their early 20s or the 25-year-old life coach, you scoff at those people and write them off. I like when someone comes and they're like, I'm hungry. I want to learn. I know I don't know everything. I'm confident that I'll figure something out, but I'm also not so sure. I like that person and that kind of perspective. I wish I had more of that when I was a kid. I read this book. I think you had him on the podcast, Alex Banyan. He wrote The Closing Door.

1:04:27I thought that was so smart. When he was in college, he went to interview people that were -

1:04:32Michael Bosstick:Super smart. Yeah, like Steven Spielberg and Bill Gates. It's one of my favorite things about doing this show is meeting people that are further ahead and getting that perspective. Yeah, I think that's smart. I agree. Do you think that's made a big impact on your personality? What? like having the show and having all these experiences i was talking to lauren about this the other day i think you can see a direct correlation from the time we started the show to where we are now in terms of maturity and i don't want to use the word humble because that's not gonna people are not gonna know but but really honestly in a lot of ways we've been humble doing the show but when you self-promote and when you have a show that's front-facing people aren't going to take that adjective seriously.

1:05:24Michael Bosstick:But I do think there is a little bit of that. But no, I think that I've learned more doing this show cramming all of these conversations and interviews than I could have ever learned in college or at one singular job because think about all the different experiences and perspectives that are constantly being bombarded. A lot of times, I'll even forget that because we've done almost a thousand of these. How many have we done? 900? 870 that's a lot right that's like a lot of a lot of podcasts and so imagine like close to and I would say 800 of them at least have been with guests probably maybe or like just be let's say less let's say 750 or 700 there's like 700 different perspectives of different expertises going into your brain every single week for close to 10 years do you remember everyone who's been on like if you saw them in a moon or a room no no no I'm sorry how would you do you remember all 800 people that you've met i barely even remember you it's pushing it i was gonna say face guy but that's not even true either i was gonna say i was gonna say face and no no i mean listen like sometimes you're more of an ass guy is that what you wanted to say like if you bring yeah yeah for sure like if you bring so if you bring a conversation up mostly i will remember it and a lot of times i will remember the person but with context with context yeah but i mean like who's who remembers all like can you can you guys remember 800 different people you've met in different conversations i should be better at it but also i'm getting up there in the years yeah i could lie and say i remember every single one you would you would probably say nice to see you again i would always say nice to see you again even if i didn't know if i met you that's just a secret about me your dad's really good at that my dad is the worst at that he's the absolute worst at that no i think he's good now my dad I've literally seen him go to people that he's met four times and say, who are you?

1:07:17Michael Bosstick:Really? I'm putting you on blast. Lauren's also the worst. Yeah. Lauren and my dad are like the same person in that way. Lauren's learned it so many times to just say, nice to see you. They don't mean to be rude. It's just like their personalities, you know? Yeah. They just like, doesn't register. I think that's like a creative thing. I have manners. I will say, nice to see you. But you have no idea who they are. No, I do most of the time. But even if I don't, you'll never know because I'll always say, it's good to see you. keeping everyone in mystery.

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1:14:23What's one thing you did in your 20s that you laugh about now? Something embarrassing or something that you're just like, oh, why did I do that? Nightclubs. Wasting money in nightclubs.

1:14:36Michael Bosstick:A lot of guys do that. Also, though, like a lot of girls go out to and be bottle rats, you know. Bottle rats. I've never heard that. People know what they're talking about especially the millennials listening guys and girls the guys myself included are doing the douchey thing standing up there making some kind of stupid sparkly show we still do not to be honest we still like i was like this is reminding me no but i did you know and you're wasting a lot of money that by the way in your like you don't have i remember like getting the credit card bills all when i was in my 20s i get at the end of the month like oh shit i gotta you know like you're like on the edge if not going under and you realize like you that was unnecessary and it didn't impress anybody.

1:15:17Michael Bosstick:I will say, and then also probably there's, on the other side, the bottle rats regret probably being ratty around the bottles, like doing behaviors and things that they shouldn't be doing. So there's - Doing anything to get a sip of that Ciroc. Yeah, Ciroc. I don't regret all of those times because there was a lot of fun and I met a lot of people and I got it out of my system. I never have to go back and do that again. Until next year. That's probably a good thing. Because imagine if you don't do it and then you're 50 or 60 going through a divorce splitting up and then you're doing the bottle rat thing or you're doing the club sparkly thing that's not a good look it's a bad look no no sweating you're probably like white buttoned up because at that point you're you're dressing like a age-appropriate person yeah and if you're not dressing it like if you're like in an affliction t-shirt or something you know you know we all skinny jeans but no i so i regret a lot of that because what i wish i would have done especially when i was younger is i wish i would have taken a huge percentage of i know where this stuff and invested into low cost index funds.

1:16:17Michael Bosstick:You don't realize like if there's one book also that I would recommend to everybody for especially younger and it's dense, hard to get through is Tony Robbins, Money Master of the Game. I wish I would have read that when I was in school, before I graduated, all these things. And I told Tony when he came on the show, it changed my life because I didn't understand anything about money. I didn't understand anything about investing. I didn't know anything about compounding. I didn't know how to save it. I didn't know how to budget, none of it. And I was stressed all the time, which I'm sure a lot of young people are, even older people.

1:16:44Michael Bosstick:And I would have just taken a smaller percentage of the money I was wasting or doing dumb things with and put it into low cost index funds. And it would be worth hundreds of thousands, if not millions now. And people don't realize like you can start doing this at 18. And I didn't start investing seriously and taking this stuff seriously like 30, early 30s. so I miss like a full decade just not understanding this so every time I media I do it to you all the time I'm like do it now do it early it doesn't it could be 50 every dinner every time I see you because you write it on my birthday card at the bottom you know why because now I'm on the other end of doing it for a while and in there's it's like the compounding becomes so great where it's just nice to know that like your money is making money for you and if you start earlier next thing you know, all of a sudden, it just grows and grows and grows.

1:17:42Michael Bosstick:And even if you start doing like a thousand bucks a month or 500 bucks or 200 bucks a month in your early 20s, by the time you're going to retire, you're going to be a millionaire. Easily. I'm not the first one to say this. It's good advice. Yeah. Because here's the other thing. As you get older, you see older people, older than me, that go to retirement that have never done it and their income earning years are behind them and they are so stressed about money because when you're a young person and you need to go and backfill income, there's a million different jobs or side hustles and you have energy and there's things that you can do.

1:18:16Michael Bosstick:When you're older and the job pool is smaller and you don't have as much energy and you have bills and you can't cover because you didn't set yourself up, that is really stressful for a lot of people. So I just tell people, do it early so they don't have to think about it later because now i see people that are later and it's a mess yeah it's scary yeah so yeah less partying in the club carson i did have some good times though okay let's do some rapid fire questions okay to close it out what's your go-to guilty pleasure that you don't feel guilty about was it a guilty pleasure if you don't feel guilty about it that you refuse too it's like something that you're you're a little embarrassed to bring up maybe i think you love like a baked good you make fun of me for a baked good i'll eat no i i like a good sweet you'll eat a chocolate chip cookie any day of the week i'll eat a chocolate chip cookie no i'll eat like sweet like people think that because we talk about health and fitness a lot that we don't like i will indulge yeah if you are going to a bakery you're getting a baked good if i go to a donut store i'm getting a donut like i you know when people come on and they're like so rigid about like if I'm going to McDonald's and I'm sitting there and it's a hot day, I'll get a McFlurry.

1:19:28Michael Bosstick:Hell yeah. No problem. Oreo? Yeah, probably. That, I don't know. I play a lot of video games, but I don't feel guilty about that. Again, my doctor told me with this parasympathetic HRV stress, he said, actually, you need to find active things that your brain can do actively, but while also calming you down. So if it's like a video game, whatever. So I'll do that. I don't feel guilty about it. Lauren used to give me shit. Now she doesn't. She realized like I need to go off and like, I need to go into Zelda's world or I need to go into Call of Duty. I need to figure something out. that's why I like needle pointing I'm doing something I'm not just sitting there yeah you gotta like everybody's gotta have a thing I said to her I said hey do you want me on the guys trip like chugging beers and falling on myself on the golf course or like can I go play Legend of Zelda for like an hour that is such a ridiculous comparison it's not a ridiculous comparison because a lot of these guys they'll go to their wives and their girlfriends and be like I need to de-stress I need time with the guys you don't get it babe I can't just be doing it and they do this stuff oh the kids have been trusting me they do and they go and they make these i gotta go out on the guy ship i'm like i don't that's justifying their behavior though yeah i'm not trying to put those guys there's a lot of girls that listen to this podcast their husbands are gonna just like write into me like motherfucker but my thing is like hey can i just go upstairs into my man cave and like shoot some like like read a little bit of fourth wing and have a private moment like shoot some rounds and call of duty or like uh you know go and like save the princess and zelda or Or go throw a barrel down the way in Donkey Kong.

1:20:53Michael Bosstick:Let me just do my thing. That's not that bad. Yeah. Best advice you've ever been given? I mean, there's a lot of good advice. It says five words or less. Five words or less? I don't know. As it relates, there's different pieces of advice for different moments in life. What about to your 20-year-old self? Your 25-year-old self who's coming home from the club? What's one thing you would say? Well, we've covered a lot of the bases. We got to invest it, but we got to like not. I mean, listen, I don't know if this was my dad that gave me this advice or somehow, but I do think, and I'm not trying to be sappy here, but I think staying focused and being really serious about one woman in one relationship, even at a very young age, when a lot of my friends weren't, because a lot of guys feel like they're missing out on certain parts of life.

1:21:46Michael Bosstick:But for me, I was like, okay, like I'm going to sacrifice maybe being out or being with more women or whatever it may be to focus on one and now going back to compounding and investing the compound effect of that is like i've had an incredible marriage with an incredible family and we built a business together that's and we've done well this whole life and i'm seeing some of my friends now that have like kind of put that stuff on the back burner and like listen everyone has a different perspective or different lifestyle choice but i'm like if there if you do find that one and like it has to be the right person are you saying if it wasn't lauren it would be the same thing no i'm not so i'm saying you do have to find the right you don't want to settle and like just do it to do it but if you can and you do find that person it's good to focus on and hold on to it because i've seen a lot of people find a person like that and then tell themselves some narrative like oh well i'm supposed to be with all these different people or like my career needs to be this or i'm supposed to wait to have kids it's like they they give them they choose life milestones and like try to build them around when it's convenient for them as opposed to when it's actually happening does that make sense yeah and then like they miss a moment right it's like oh i'm not going to settle down with that guy or girl because like i told myself i was getting married at 40 it's never the right timing or like i don't want to have children with that person because like i still need to go take that vacation to greece something stupid like that who cares about greece probably greek people yeah well i mean you know i mean like i care about the people in the country i'm saying like who cares about the trip degrees.

1:23:13Mykonos isn't on the next.

1:23:14Michael Bosstick:No, but honestly, who cares? Yeah. So I see people do these dumb things where like, there's these, there's forks in the road that happen, right? And they present opportunities and they open the door and you get to choose if you're going to walk through the door or slam it shut. And I see way too many people slam good opportunities and good doors shut because they've got some ridiculous narrative in their mind. So I don't know if that, what the advice there is, it's just like, you have to be smart enough to recognize when there's a moment. Or like in your career, there are certain things that happen where somebody offers you something and maybe it's not the money you thought you deserve, but it's like a really good opportunity to go work in a really incredible space or for a really incredible person.

1:23:54Michael Bosstick:Like, oh, but I like told myself I was going to be earning this. And so they don't do it. And it's like, you just, you have to, you have to be willing to recognize the opportunities of life when they come. And so many people get stuck in their narrative and then they limit themselves from those opportunities because they, they don't, they're not flexible with what's possible as opposed to like what, you know. I love the word flexible for that. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. The most spontaneous thing you've ever done. Not that spontaneous. Now you're a planner. I was trying to like be like, what is the most spontaneous thing I've ever done?

1:24:28Buy that red suit maybe?

1:24:30Michael Bosstick:I mean, I've done a lot of spontaneous things. A lot of spontaneous purchases. You've definitely done that. A lot of spontaneous purchases. My spontaneity exponentially goes up with the amount of liquor I've had. for sure if i have a chance to not be drinking i'm a pretty big planner yeah i don't know like what's the most like in what context what's the most spontaneous thing you've ever done i think that i've been pretty spontaneous i went to korea during covid you planned that i planned it but i remember you said to me it was on uh cinco de mayo you said that's not never gonna happen and so then i bought that flight that day i said you're wrong yeah but then you went and lived in like a jail box for like two weeks in korea because the cover restrictions but it was worth it and then i got out there and i felt like a breath of fresh air was it really worth it yeah it was worth it it was better than sitting in my house in la at the time she's so crazy she went to korea and they were like literally like sliding meals through a door like she was in jail because i had to stay in a hotel room for two weeks and my microwave was broken and so it was just like cold rice and like cold kimchi some korean guy crackers show up in a hazmat suit and screaming korean at her and then like slide some food into a door and that's it's kind of real yeah that's what happened yeah they'd be wearing those suits people are gonna pull that clip like what's this guy talking about no that's what happened a korean guy or girl showed up in a suit slid a food tray they'd open it no they they put it outside and then they would knock on the door and then you'd open it up once they were already gone.

1:26:06Michael Bosstick:Hey, Mimi, are you enjoying your vacation in there? Here's your food. Shut the door. They wouldn't talk to you. So you had to stay in the hotel the entire time? Yeah. It was like squid games where the guards live. I lost like 15 pounds. So did you go into Korea at all? Yeah. After two weeks, I was able to. And then I was there for three months. True. But really, it's like the squid games where the guards live. You guys were so mean. I remember it was Christmas day and my mom was punishing me because I was gone in Korea and nobody called me. Nobody would answer my FaceTimes on Christmas Day. I figured you were on lockdown, man.

1:26:37No, I was out by then. Good parole.

1:26:40Michael Bosstick:Well, maybe you shouldn't leave your mother and your family on Christmas. Hate to break it to you. This year, I'm going to be gone. I don't know. I guess I'm not that spontaneous. I can't think of like what I do spontaneously. It would definitely be travel. I think maybe you've... But you plan it out. Maybe you'd be like, I'm going to X, Y, and Z. But what's like a... Give me an example of like what's spontaneous. And there's things that come to mind that I don't really want to say. I was going to say, when you got that house during COVID. Let's do this last one. Okay. What's the last thing you Googled?

1:27:09Michael Bosstick:Funny enough, you know what I'm noticing lately? And this is probably a lot of people noticing this. And this is just where the world's going. I don't really Google anymore. I'm just on AI all the time. So you're just asking? I was talking to Lauren the other day, right? And I was like, so the last thing I was Googling, so not Googling, but I was talking to my chat GPT, which I call BB. Zaza named him BB for Bostic bot. That's cute. So I was like, BB, I was talking to BB. But what I love is you can like create these different threads with them and then you can go. So the last thing I was talking about was with this Apollo.

1:27:42Michael Bosstick:Again, here's another plug for Apollo about which programs I should use throughout the day. But like, I'll do weird things where I'm like, okay, this is my supplement stack. What, you know, what should I, should, am I taking it right? Should I add this? Should I take that away? And it'll like fully be like, you're doing this right, but change. It's crazy. Like what it can do. And the other day I was like, what's the best way? to, I was like, what's the best way to potty train your kid or training our kid? And I was like, he was like telling me. So I don't know. I'm not really, I think what we're going to see, and I meant to tell you everybody this the other day, I'll just tell the whole world.

1:28:10Michael Bosstick:If you've been somebody that's so reliant on Google, you probably now need to start thinking about how to get AI to incorporate your results. Right? Google's trying, you know, they have the new AI feature. But even then, like, I just think like you talk to your bot and maybe they're doing, but also the other day you know i like to travel and i was saying like what's the most efficient route and way to get to x place and it'll like be like this and it'll give me all so it's pretty crazy like what's doing i'm i heard it's really good for flight someone was telling me that that's what i was doing i was like what's the most like what like which i said if i want to do a trip and this time around this planet there's multiple places like how to what's the best flight route and it would it would work that out so so you're not googling is the moral of the story maybe i'll use the ai google emily why just emily yeah so i like it too have you used the google like when you take a picture of something you circle it i'm finding all this stuff it's actually really cool like you know that sculpture in your backyard we took a picture of it and we googled it it just like takes it from there and it sends you the link the other day i took a picture my mom told me she bought me a lemon tree and wesson came and set it up in a pot and i've been watching this lemon tree for like you know a month and a half now and sure enough fruits come out but they're all green and so i was like man if they just take a while to like turn yellow or something so i took an image of it and it came back and said sir that is a lime tree no and so that's the last time i did the image thing stop did you tell your mom that yeah i said it's a lime tree i mean it's fine i use it for my astral margaritas astral tequila she's got to be disappointed she gave Weston one job.

1:29:53That's fine.

1:29:53Michael Bosstick:I like limes, but yeah, it's crazy the world we live in technology and all the stuff. You know what? Just scrap all the advice I gave because probably technology is just going to take over and provide all the answers and I'll be dust in the wind. Yeah. You don't even need me anymore. At least you have your index funds. You know what, kids? Take all your money, blast it out in the nightclub with the bottle rats, ask AI how to optimize that and that's all you need to know. If you could make a living off that, I guess that's what DJs are you know what maybe I'll be a DJ you'd be like Hermanos into dropkick Murphy I could do one song with a lot of energy and then after that I'd be like I gotta jet you'd get so bored thank you Mimi for doing the show with me thank you for covering all the ground I hope the Rebecca Yaros fans out there are happy with our assessment.

1:30:52Michael Bosstick:I do have a feeling that we split the audience. Some will agree and some will not, but I will report back after I read the second and the third book. Iron Flame, Onyx Storm. Yes, but it's going to take me a minute because I got to get through the rest of my reading challenge. So I'll wait and I'll report back. All right. Thank you for having me you got it all right thanks guys bye