What To Do When You Feel Lost In Life: How to Find Clarity In Career, Health, Relationships & More Ft. Michael Bosstick

21:54Michael Bosstick:not the kind of person at all. And what if that kind of person you keep having bad luck with. And if you were to open your horizons and broaden your perspectives a little bit and open the ability to invite some other kinds of people in, you might find the love of your life. I think again, if you keep running into the same types of characters over and over, you know, for the, I said this to my sisters when they were dating for, and to my friends, my female friends, if you're dating that guy, that's the fuck boy or the, or the, the bad guy that's playing a bunch of women all the time, you know, and you just happen to be the one girl that's going to change him and you don't, that's kind of on you, you know, Same with the guy.

22:32Michael Bosstick:If you keep going for that one girl that keeps fucking around on everybody else and causing problems and going crazy, we have to be realistic about here and we have to recognize our own toxic patterns about what we're attracted to. I would also start to really audit the things that you're pulling back from or the things that are giving you the ick factor over and over. I would start to say, what are those kinds of things? To be clear, there are tremendous opportunities for dating out there and for meeting people. But I think we have told ourselves as a society that there are only certain ways that we can meet people now, namely many of these opportunities on dating apps.

23:10Michael Bosstick:You know, Lauren and I were just in Colorado and we were outdoors and running around and going and doing all these different things. And there were so many moments where we saw so many single people, either groups of guys or groups of girls. and we were saying to ourselves, like, why would, you know, why don't people get out into these environments? And again, easier said than done. But I think some good old fashioned confidence building, approaching people, being, you know, in real life settings, having human interactions are so important. And then the last thing I will say, and I've seen so many people get lost here and really kind of fail is they find a really great person.

23:46Michael Bosstick:I know so many of my guy friends that have done this, girls too. And Lauren and I will sit back and be like, oh, maybe they'll get married. This is the one. Maybe they'll get in a long-term relationship. And sure enough, one little thing goes wrong, one little bump in the road, one thing kind of turns them off. And they say, well, there's somebody else out there. Let me go swipe around again or look around again. And what it is is nobody in these situations takes the time to say, you know what? Relationships are really hard and there's stumbles. Lauren and I, just to give you a little bit of vulnerability here and to let you in on our relationship.

24:19Michael Bosstick:There are so many ups and downs and so many things that we stumble on and so many conversations that we have to have to write the relationship and get it back on the path. For the married people out there or the people that have been in long-term relationships, many of them are probably nodding their head. Long-term relationships, marriage, especially when you get into parenting and family is not easy. It's one of the hardest things that we have to do, but we're committed to solving the problems and working through the issues together. So if you're somebody that's also quick to throw away a relationship at the sign of any trouble or turmoil, that's also something we need to look inward on and figure out why that's the case and make sure that you're working towards dating somebody that's also committed that, you know, there's going to be problems.

25:00Michael Bosstick:Lauren and I got in a yelling and screaming, not screaming, but a yelling thing the other day, trying to get the kids ready for school. We tried to do a podcast episode yesterday. She's getting ready to come back on maternity leave. Carson was there. Whole thing blew up. We had to scrap the whole thing. So these things happen. And, you know, we're just committed to working through it. So again, if you're feeling lost in dating relationships, try these things, think about these things and know that there's somebody out there, but it may require either you to change, you to focus on different things or to open your horizons on the way that you're approaching dating in the first place.

25:32One thing that I do not mess around with is my bedtime routine. I like to do the same thing every night. So I'll turn on all the red light bulbs in my room. I'll put on 5 to 8 hertz, spray a little lavender magnesium spray. I like the air to be at 67 degrees and I don't mess around with my bed. I take my bed very seriously and I want an upgraded experience at all times when it comes to the bed. So Bull and Branch sent me their Bricol sheets and what I like about these sheets is they're free from toxins and they're made with the finest 100 % organic cotton. They're ultra crisp, which I really like, and they have a special cooling weave so you never sleep hot.

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27:08Michael Bosstick:Let's talk about Branch Basics. Branch Basics is far and away one of the best discoveries that Lauren and I have made doing this show. We had the founder, Allison, on this podcast multiple times now to talk all about the amazing products that they come out with at Branch Basics. Here's the thing. Many of us grew up cleaning our homes with these toxic chemical hormone disrupting cleaning supplies that are so bad for our system, so bad for our bodies. They cause so many issues that we're unaware of. Our pets are breathing these things in. Our kids are crawling on the floor, breathing these things in, and it's just an absolute disaster.

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28:11Michael Bosstick:Here's the thing. We are bombarded in our daily lives in modern times with so many different chemicals and toxic ingredients, whether it comes to our food or our cleaning supplies, our environment, our clothing even. So whenever we can choose something that is cleaner, safer, and just as effective, we're going to. So check them out. Visit branchbasics.com slash skinny15 and use code skinny15 at checkout for 15 % off plus free shipping on your first purchase. That's branchbasics.com slash skinny15. Use code skinny15 for 15 % off plus free shipping on your first order of your premium starter kit today.

28:46Today's episode is brought to you by Thorne, the brand trusted by top performers, elite athletes and people serious about their health. Every night, my entire family does the same thing. We go in the room, we put our red light on, we put on 528 hertz or chimes, we get the blankets on the bed, we cool down the air to 67 and we get our vitamin water. And our vitamin water is Thorne's Magnesium. It's a highly absorbable form of magnesium that supports muscle recovery and a deeper, more restorative sleep. I immediately notice the taste because it's delicious. It's like the best taste ever. And I noticed that I am calmed in my nervous system, which makes it easier to sleep.

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30:11Michael Bosstick:that dovetails nicely into committed relationships or long-term relationships or even marriages if you're an individual right now and you've been in a long-term relationship and you're starting to feel lost or discouraged or disconnected here's an area where i can give a ton of advice i have basically been with lauren since i was 20 years old we've known each other for a very long time we've been married now almost 10 years it'll be 10 years next year and we have three children together and we work together and this is an area that I can speak very confidently on you know I'm we've had to really focus and work on relationships and there's been times when you either get disconnected or you're not on the same page or you get discouraged or you feel overwhelmed and again I want to say that this is normal this is this is these fairy tales that we grew up with children and where we feel like everything should just be, you know, what is that?

31:08Michael Bosstick:Like heart eyes and, you know, what is it when someone's like love drunk or whatever, you know, those cartoons and they did all that. I don't know what I'm talking about. Um, but whenever, um, you know, it's, it's, it's not all just butterflies and rainbows and hearts. I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about, Carson, but it's not all those things all the time. And I think this is really important for couples to hear because new couples, especially when you get into these lulls, many people throw away the relationship and then get in this downward spiral. And for the older couples or the people that have been together a little bit longer, like Lauren may, when you get into these lulls, or maybe you're not being as intimate, or maybe you're not communicating the way you want to, or maybe you've added a child to the equation and now you you feel like roommates, this is the time to lean in more into the relationship.

31:58Michael Bosstick:If you care about the relationship, if you care about the person, I assume you do if you've been with them this long, if you're married to them, to get those initial sparks back, what we have to do is we have to each take a step back and say and admit that we are in a moment of turmoil. We're in a moment of disconnection. We're in a moment where something is not how it used to be. And then we have to tell ourselves that's okay because we are going to work together to get back there. And the first thing we need to do is take a personal account of how we are behaving in the relationship. Are we showing up the way we used to?

32:31Michael Bosstick:Are we being as intimate? Are we speaking nicely to our partner? Are we putting the relationship on a pedestal and making sure that it's a priority? Are we doing things that we should be doing? Because we cannot go to our partners and start demanding that of them if we're not showing up with our piece. That's really important. It's important for men. It's important for women. It's important for every kind of couple to show up to the table that way. Every time Lauren and I get to this place, there's probably some kind of argument that ensues or some kind of discussion or some kind of event that creates this situation.

33:01Michael Bosstick:And then everyone gets defensive. But what we found, and definitely from experts that we've had on the podcast, this is now the moment to kind of take a personal account, step back, get a little breathing room, and then show up in a different kind of way. So the first step then after doing that is to have a conversation to recommit, re-engage, and reconnect with the partner. If you are maybe not being as intimate as you used to be, there is nothing that a man wants to hear that'll bother him more than attacking his masculinity or telling him why he's not showing up in the bedroom the way he should.

33:38Michael Bosstick:There is nothing a woman, She doesn't want to hear that either. Nobody wants to be attacked. All we need to start the conversation with is, hey, I'd really like to get back to that place. And what can we do to get everyone excited again? How do we develop that intimate connection? If you are on autopilot because you've now had children and everything is about the children and their school and their after activities and all the stuff that comes with having kids, let's reframe and remind ourselves that the reason we have children is because we're in an intimate relationship with each other first.

34:08Michael Bosstick:The children need to integrate into our lives, not the other way around. Let's get on the same page there. That would be my advice. And let's make sure, and more importantly, children thrive in a loving environment where they see their parents connected and intimate. And it's important for not just us, but for them to see that kind of relationship and to have that kind of relationship. So if that's what you want for them in the future, then make sure that we're doing that in our own lives and make sure that the relationship is being put on that kind of pedestal. And then, you know, comes the hard part where if you need to talk to a third party or you need to bring someone in to be able to express your thoughts or your feelings.

34:46Michael Bosstick:But again, with the intention that if the relationship is feeling this way, communication is number one, getting with your partner, not attacking them, making sure that you feel heard. I know that if Lauren ever comes to me and she leads with how she's feeling or how she's hurt or what she needs, I'm way more receptive than when she comes and starts telling me what I'm not doing or what I'm not bringing or what I should be doing. That's everybody, man or woman. Nobody likes to be attacked. But if you can meet your partner with some empathy, that's a good place to start. So if you're feeling lost in your relationship and you're feeling like it's on autopilot, I would definitely think about doing these things.

35:24Michael Bosstick:I would really focus it in on the conversation with empathy and love first. And then I would get back to also taking personal accountability to making sure that you're showing up. Again, if you need a journal, if you need to write, if you need to write your partner a letter, whatever it may be, knowing that if you're lost in the relationship, it's likely because there's a break or a disconnect where two people are on two different pages and moving in two different directions. And this can cause a lot of turmoil. I always say, and I was talking to a business partner about this the other day, for me, figuring out the business and the career and the health stuff is way easier than the relationship stuff.

36:03Michael Bosstick:The relationship is harder, but here's the thing. If you have a rough home relationship, all of the other things, your health, your career, your business, that is all going to feel in a lot more turmoil than needs be. The home life has to be stable. The relationship has to be good. You're sharing a house, you're sharing a life with this person. So really focus on that and make sure that you're doing everything to make sure that everybody is on the same page, feeling happy and healthy and secure in the relationship. Next area of life, arguably maybe most important, but I put it at number four, even though it could have been number one, is our health.

36:40Michael Bosstick:What if we are feeling lost in our journey of health? What if we're feeling lost in our bodies? What if we're feeling like we're not getting the results we want? What if we're feeling discouraged, maybe even depressed about our personal health and the way we're being accountable to ourselves? This is another area that I can speak very firmly to and confidently in. There have been times in my life where I have let this health slip and I have paid the price. I think that what I've always said on this podcast, if you can keep your health in order, You can keep everything else in order. It builds confidence.

37:14Michael Bosstick:It builds trust with yourself. It gives you an outward appearance that you're proud of, which is going to enable you to do so much more in life because you just feel good. There's nothing more important than that. And most importantly, if you're healthy, you're going to be here longer, which means you're going to show up longer for the people that you care about the most. So if you're somebody and you're just starting your health journey and you're maybe not at the weight you want to be, or you don't have the muscle mass that you want, or you're not and the cardiovascular health that you want and you don't know where to start, the answer is just start by starting with something that you can commit to and stick with for a long period of time.

37:52Michael Bosstick:I think a lot of people fail when it comes to their health because they set these huge lofty goals of either weight loss or muscle mass or they need to commit and do this certain challenge by a certain period of time. And when they fall short, they then get discouraged and they go backwards. For me, when I moved to Texas, when we left LA, I was probably 20 pounds under the weight that I needed to be. And I wasn't sleeping well, and I wasn't feeling well, and I just wasn't in the right headspace. And so when I got back here and I started working out again, I made a commitment that I was just picking one thing.

38:29Michael Bosstick:In this case, for me, it was weightlifting. It was just a couple of days a week that I could stick to for one year. And my goal was not weight loss. It was not muscle gain. It was, can I build a routine for one year that I'm excited about that I keep going to? Well, what happened was after that year, I started to see results. But more importantly is I started to feel good and I started to feel like this was just part of my daily routine. So I slowly eased myself back into it. Then after that year, I set a specific goal. I wanted to gain X amount of pounds and put X amount of muscle on, started to do that.

39:02Michael Bosstick:The point being that I didn't create this kind of crazy, condensed, lofty goal. I didn't need a summer body. I didn't need to lose X amount of pounds. I just picked a specific, you know, routine that I could stick with. I think a lot of people get overwhelmed because there is so much advice when it comes to the health space, what to eat, what supplements to take, what medicine to take, you know, who to listen to, what exercises to do. For me, if you're feeling overwhelmed, you're lost, make a list again of the activities that light you up, what you like doing, you know, what you know you'll commit to, whether that's yoga or Pilates or if it's walking or if it's weightlifting or whatever, and pick something that you'll stick to without even thinking about a body goal or a goal around some kind of challenge.

39:43Michael Bosstick:Just pick a routine that you can stick with. The other stuff will start to come. What's most important is that you start keeping the promises to yourself and you start putting health first. I also think that people struggle with health because they think it's only about the outward appearance. It's not. For me, health is about feeling good, feeling confident, feeling like I can do hard things. And what I've realized is when I stick to a specific health routine, other areas of my life improve. I get better at taking care of my relationship. I get better at my career. I get happier. I have better ideas.

40:17Michael Bosstick:I find myself less anxious, less depressed. I've said a thousand times on this podcast, if you're somebody that finds yourself constantly feeling sorry for yourself or you're depressed or you're not feeling good, get your body moving, get in the gym, go do something hard, do something challenging, take on a sport, take on a hobby. For me, it was tennis. When I played tennis, it's hard. I can't think about anything but tennis and the form and swinging. I get a full hour to get out of my head and not think about any of my problems. If it's weightlifting, if you're new to it, get in there, work with a trainer or work on your own or work with a partner.

40:50Michael Bosstick:And you'll see, you don't have time to think about all the things that are ailing us or making us feel bad because you're outside of yourself. Lauren's grandmother used to say all the time, get outside of yourself. So So taking care of your health and taking care of your body does not just have the benefit of giving you a better outward appearance or improved outward appearance. It also has the benefit of helping you with mental clarity, mental fatigue, making sure that you are managing your stress and depression and your anxiety and building that confidence muscle. So if I was feeling lost, these are the things that I would do and these are the places that I would start.

41:23Michael Bosstick:Another thing that we're confident about now and when it comes to health is there's a lot of data out there. We have guys like Gary Brecker or Mark Hyman on this podcast or Dr. Will Cole talking about how you can, or Brigham Bueller, you can talk about getting your labs and getting the information. And there's things like Function Health and other platforms that you can get your information very easily, figure out what you're deficient in, figure out what you're taking too much of, figure out what your blood work looks like, get your baseline levels. This is at least going to give you a greater picture of where you're at.

41:55Michael Bosstick:I think one of the most challenging things when it comes to health and fitness is just going in blind. Oh, I don't feel good or I can't do this. And we don't have any idea of like, well, are you deficient in D? Do you not have enough vitamin B? Is your hair falling out? What's the reason? Do you have these kind of vitamins and minerals? Are you low in this? Are you high in that? Understanding these things, we have this kind of technology now. It's all cost effective. And so it's important to get that information as well. The last thing I would do if I was overwhelmed and stressed and trying to get my health in order is I would figure out a really solid morning and evening routine to enhance your sleep.

42:31Michael Bosstick:And there's many people that talk about this way more and way better than I can. Obviously, Dr. Andrew Huberman's talked about it a million times. He did it on this podcast. And people like Matt Walker, who's been on this podcast, there's a lot of different sleep experts. But what I can tell you is if you don't have your health under control and if you're overwhelmed with your health journey, no amount of diet, no amount of fitness, no amount of like workout plans is going to help you as much as getting a solid night of sleep. And what I can tell you is the best way to do that is to keep it consistent and develop a morning and night routine.

43:04Michael Bosstick:Again, there's many resources to go and do that. This is no new information. But if I was square one, didn't know where to start, feeling overwhelmed, I would start with that and then work into the other things. The last one is for the parents out there. if you're a parent and you're feeling overwhelmed, you're feeling lost, all of a sudden your life has changed and it's no longer you and your partner and you're sitting there with a new child or two new children or even more. We just had our third and you feel like, holy shit, my life has gotten away from me. I have so much going on. I'm so overwhelmed.

43:38Michael Bosstick:I get it. I have three of my own. There's three under five. It's been a massive adjustment. you know for lauren and i go in and you know parenting is is never easy i empathize with anyone who's a parent i always laugh at my single friends that don't have kids and talk about all these great routines that they have in their morning routines that take an hour and their night routines and all that you know i i can barely get out the front door in the morning without you know stumbling and stressing and falling over myself or tripping on a shoe or having a kid scream or having a kid yell hopefully this doesn't discourage anyone from becoming a parent because it is also the best thing we've ever done.

44:16Michael Bosstick:But if you're a parent out there and you're starting to feel like your kids are taking over your life, this is a moment to step back and recalibrate. Once again, I will say and reinforce, your kids need to integrate into your life, not the other way around. We all want to take care of our kids. We all want to be the best providers possible. We all want our kids to have more than we did, but they need to integrate into our lives and then we need to tailor our lives to adjust to the new fact of being a parent. And so if that requires us to step back for a second and realize, okay, I don't need to completely change every single thing in my life.

44:55Michael Bosstick:I just now need to integrate this child into it. That's the first reframing. So many parents get overwhelmed because they base their entire life over their kids' wants and needs, which sounds like the right thing to do, but in many cases is going to lead to burnout. It's going to lead to resentment. It's going to lead to resentment of your partners. It's going to lead to stress around your children. And that's not what we want. We want the kids to be in a happy, healthy environment. And we want the parent to be happy and healthy. So if I was feeling lost and feeling overwhelmed, the first thing I would do is make sure that I wasn't feeling guilty or overwhelmed about integrating them into our life.

45:28Michael Bosstick:If Lauren and I need to travel, then the kids need to adjust to that fact. If Lauren and I need to go to work because we need to put food on the table and provide, then the kids need to adjust to that. if the kids need to go to a certain school because that's where we're districted or that's where we want to live, then that's what's going to happen. The kids have to tailor it. This whole idea that we're going to change everything just for their benefit is not an option for us. We're going to make it work with the environment that we've already curated and created. So there's that. Then I would take a step back and tell yourself, as hard as parenting is and as overwhelming as it can be.

46:06Michael Bosstick:You are not the first person to do this. We are not the first people to do this. Some people have more than others. Some people are resourced more than others. We're lucky to have help in our life. We need to have help. We work at the same time, not using it as an excuse, not justifying it, just stating it as a fact. There's plenty of people in many places in many parts of the world that have it way worse than people living in this country. Let's remember that. There are our ancestors that had it way worse than us with sickness and disease and villages being pillaged and raided and plundered that have it way harder and way worse than us.

46:39Michael Bosstick:People have been parenting for years and years and years and somehow they've managed to do it. So taking a step back, taking a deep breath, reminding ourselves that we're not the first ones to do this and that we're going to be okay is also important. What I've done in my house is I've looked at all my habits habits and I've tried to take those habits and make them non-toxic. And something that I do every single day is I make my kids eggs and I want to make sure that the pan that I'm cooking their eggs on is non-toxic. So, and then I just kind of fell in love with the brand because everything they do is non-toxic.

47:19So for instance, I got their wood cutting board. I learned that you swallow so much microplastic. And when you're cutting on a plastic cutting board, that's getting into your food. So I switched to their wood cutting board. There's zero plastic involved. I also switched to their bakeware. So my daughter and I are constantly baking. And I think this is a good one, a good switch to make. If you make muffins or cupcakes, we make cookies a lot. So to have those non-toxic baking sheets is so important to me. If you've been eyeing their internet famous 12-piece cookware set that I have, now is the perfect time to buy.

48:00You can shop Caraway risk-free. Enjoy fast, free shipping, easy returns, and a 30-day trial. Plus, if you visit carawayhome.com slash TSC10, you can take an additional 10 % off your next purchase. This deal is exclusive for our listeners. So visit carawayhome.com slash TSC10 or use code TSC10 at checkout. Caraway, non-toxic cookware made modern. I am a big creatine lover. I have loved creatine for the last year. I take it for my workout. I love it. And one of my favorite brands, a brand that I love so much that I actually did a co-brand with, Array, actually just launched Tone. And it's their first gummy supplement that supports lean sculpted muscles and enhances workout performance.

48:48And surprise, surprise, it has creatine in it. And it has exactly the amount that I take. So I take five grams every day. I love taking five grams. I cannot say enough good things about it, especially if you like lifting weights. So the one that they created is really cool because not only is there five grams of creatine in it, but there's also this thing called Slim Biotics in it for optimized body composition and ginger root for antioxidant protection. Array is a really incredible product line and they have a lot of integrity around their products. All of their products are laxative free, non-GMO, gluten free, filler free, nut free, cruelty free, non-habit forming and vegan.

49:31I like to take three of the Tone gummies. If I'm going for a workout, you could even do four if you want. They also taste absolutely delicious. While you're on the site, you have to check out their 100 % natural supplements. I personally would also get their bloat. Those are the two that I would recommend to you. Go to Array.com and use code SKINNY15 at checkout to receive 15 % off your first purchase or auto ship order. That's Array.com. Use code SKINNY15 at checkout. something that I took my entire pregnancy and obviously check with your own doctor but this is what I did was take creatine and I take creatine every single day so what I do is I habit stack it into my day I will take a big jug to the gym I'll put a ton of ice in there water and then I'll froth up my creatine and I'll mix in some aminos sometimes And the creatine that I used and use is by Momentus.

50:30You guys have been introduced to Momentus multiple times because we're always talking about it. Momentus is really a gold standard, especially in creatine. They source the best, the most purest and most effective creatine, which is really important. It's single sourced from Germany and it's not cut with junk or fillers, which I like. and I also am such a fan of lemon. So they do a creatine lemon and it's absolutely amazing. They have like these new lemon travel packets. So sometimes if I'm running late, I can just throw them in my car and take them to the gym and put them in my water. I started taking creatine because I was really interested in what it did to your muscles.

51:12It's really important. I was lifting weights. I still am lifting weights and I wanted to use creatine to support that. But then I found out that it's not just for muscle. It's an essential daily fuel for your brain, your body, and your long-term performance. Head to livemomentous.com and use code SKINNY for up to 35 % off your first order. That's SKINNY at livemomentous.com. Let's talk about my favorite female-run nonprofit. I'm so passionate about the charity I Stand With My Pack. It's dedicated to saving animals and preventing cruelty locally and globally. So I was introduced to this charity by a friend of mine, Lucy, probably about five years ago.

51:54And she was really passionate about how much that I stand with my pack helps dogs. So what they do is they rescue dogs from high kill shelters in Southern California, and they help them find loving foster homes or forever homes. There is an urgent need right now for donations and fosters. So even if you can donate a dollar. Every dollar counts. This goes to helping to cover medical care, food, transportation for rescue dogs. You can donate or sign up to foster at istandwithmypack.org. That's istandwithmypack.org. I also sometimes will just Venmo them. It makes it really simple. More information at istandwithmypack.org.

52:37Michael Bosstick:I did an episode on core values a while back, which I mentioned earlier in this episode of values that I want to instill in the children. One of them is resilience and being self-assured. So again, if you feel like you need to be doing everything for these kids, again, take a step back, let them figure it out for themselves. Let them kind of struggle a little bit. They'll be fine. We were all fine. Give them what your parents gave you, which is the trust and confidence that they can figure some things out on their own. And then if maybe you're in a situation where kids have taken over your life and your relationship, again, we need to step back and go back to the relationship advice and say, okay, we had these kids because we love each other and we want to build a family, but we can't allow these children to ruin the relationship and the foundation that created them in the first place.

53:23So that's what I would do.

53:25Michael Bosstick:I would also then reframe and tell yourself that you don't need to be a perfect parent. There is no such thing as a perfect parent. Some days I feel like I nailed it and knocked it out of the park, batted a hundred percent. Some days I feel like I did an absolute shit job. And I know Lauren feels the same way. And I am sure many of the parents out there can relate. And that's okay too, where, you know, you're not going to show up and bat a hundred percent every time and either are your kids. And so being okay with that, being okay with not being perfect all the time, being okay with just doing your best as often as you can is also important.

53:58And then the last part,

54:00Michael Bosstick:if you're starting to feel overwhelmed or stressed out as a parent is to recognize, and I do this all the time, how quickly this is all going to go. I saw a quote the other day from Patrick Bett David, who I like following. And by the way, open invite Patrick that said, one of the hardest things as a parent is to recognize that you are raising children so that one day they no longer need you. I could have butchered that, but it really hit me. And then I read another statistic the other day. It could have been by him or could have been by someone else that says, basically, by the time your children are 12 years old, you've spent 75 % of the time that you're going to spend with them.

54:43Michael Bosstick:And so as parents, let's remember, they're not always going to be this little. They're not always going to be in the nest. They're not always going to be kicking and screaming and throwing tantrums. They're not always going to need us to drive them. They're not always going to need us to change them or make them food or be at the house. And with that perspective, you're going to have a lot more patience and grace and appreciation for having these little ones in the house while you can. I'm almost going to tear up here thinking about it, Carson. But again, whenever I start to feel overwhelmed or stressed or lost, I start to think about these kinds of perspectives.

55:17Michael Bosstick:In my career, I start to think, one day I'm not going to have the energy to be able to do these kinds of jobs. With my health, I tell myself, one day I'm going to be an 80-year-old man that's going to be struggling to stay in the shape. Actually, when I'm 80, I'm going to be fucking jacked, Carson. I'm going to be gnarly. And I will take some kind of, who knows what I'll have to take by then, but I'll do all the things. But jokes aside, giving yourselves that perspective and understanding that some of the most frustrating moments or some of the moments where we feel the most overwhelmed or lost are going to pass.

55:46Michael Bosstick:For the young people out there, I remember being stressed and overwhelmed about money when I was younger and had four roommates or five roommates and we're all living in one place and we could barely rub two nickels together to be able to buy anything or do anything. Now, as almost a 40-year-old man with a family and three kids, I look back on those times and just think how incredible they were. I had very few responsibilities. We had so much fun. We had our whole world in front of us. There's so much opportunity if you look at it like that. So again, perspective is really important, especially if you're starting to feel burnout or lost or being overwhelmed.

56:23Michael Bosstick:Journaling really helps. Again, talking about the things that light you up and don't light you up and what you love and what you dislike and all that. So that's my advice for the parents out there. Okay, this is a heavy one to end on. And this is if you feel like you're lost in life in general. Maybe you wake up and you feel like a rudderless ship in the night, in the wind, and you're just all over the place and you don't know what to focus on. You don't know what to do and you don't know where you're going and you're feeling stressed, maybe anxious, maybe depressed, and you are just essentially lost in life.

56:58Michael Bosstick:You don't know who your partner is. You don't know if you want to follow this career. You don't know if you want to be in a long-term relationship. You don't know if you want to be a parent at some point. You don't know what you're doing with your health. You're just lost in general. Here's what I would do if this was me. I would dive deep into stories and books and content around people that excite you, that you admire, that you're fired up about. I would get as much good content as possible. For me, that's always been books, which I'll share some in a little bit, and stories about people that have either persevered or people whose lives have ended up in places that I admire.

57:40Michael Bosstick:If it's from a content perspective, make sure you're getting rid of any toxic content that's making you feel bad, or make sure you're not following people whose life path you would never want to emulate or follow. And then I would really start consuming as much of that kind of stuff as possible. And what you're doing is you're trying to find examples and hints and clues about lives that have been lived before you. One of the greatest things about the era that we live in now with AI and with books and with podcasts and with YouTube and with a million different documentaries is you can go through and start to look at people that you admire.

58:18Michael Bosstick:and you can try to figure out what they did before you. And what you're looking is, you're not looking to do exactly what they did because that might not be possible, but you're looking to strip out the traits, the habits, the patterns of the things that they did to get to where they are. That's where I would start. I would also remind myself how lucky we all are to be living in these modern times as much as sometimes the news or bad media can bombard us with things that are going wrong in the world. we have technology at our fingertips we can you know call a car or a taxi or an uber or even a fucking robot at this point to take us where we need to go we have medical interventions that we've never had before we are directly connected to the world at a press of a button we can travel across the world in a span of hours we you know have so much abundance around us and so many things going on that our ancestors could never even fathom or dream of.

59:18Michael Bosstick:And I think sometimes we get overwhelmed and start feeling sorry for ourselves. You don't realize how far human beings have come and how far technology has come and how much easier we have it than previous generations. Some of the biggest complaints that we have here are the comparisons of what other people have compared to what we have, even if we have things. And I think that realizing that perspective and recognizing that we do have a lot of things and that there's obviously some people that are further and some people behind is such an important perspective. The last thing that I would do if I was just feeling lost in general is I would step back and I would realize that you're not alone in feeling lost or overwhelmed.

1:00:00Michael Bosstick:Many people feel this way. Many people are wandering through life, pretending like they have it all figured out, pretending like they're doing everything right, pretending like they're living their lives the way that everyone else should be. And that's just not the case. There are many people struggling just as much as you. And what I've found in my personal life, when I feel lost or overwhelmed, reaching out across the board and talking to people that are in my life, whether that's, you know, people that are in my personal life, whether that's family members, whether that's a mentor, whether that's, you know, somebody online or a group going and having that shared experience with someone else is so important.

1:00:37Michael Bosstick:People in AA and in recovery know this better than anyone. It's that community and developing people that are going through the same kind of issues and are facing the same kind of troubles. Being able to speak to those kinds of people and understand that you're not alone in these thought processes is so important. So if I was feeling lost in life, I would really take some personal accountability and realize that, okay, I'm not the only one and there's resources and there's people that have also felt lost before that have figured it out. And I would start to pick maybe three or four of those different kinds of people or personalities.

1:01:10Michael Bosstick:And I would consume as much content on them as possible, what they did to get out of it, what they did to get ahead. And that action of even just trying to find those patterns will start putting you on the right path. Okay. Hopefully this episode was helpful. I by no means am the perfect expert on any of this stuff. I'm even hesitant to call myself an expert at all. This is just my perspective on things that I would do if I felt lost or overwhelmed. I hope this episode was helpful. I said that I would share some resources and some things that I think would be helpful for people that are looking to solve different areas of their life.

1:01:50Michael Bosstick:One, if you're feeling lost in your career, there's a great book called The Practice by Seth Godin. He has a bunch of different books, Purple Cow and a thousand different ones that are great. But The Practice by Seth Godin, it helps reframe creative or professional ruts into intentional daily progress. That's a great one for people in their career feeling lost. If you're feeling lost in dating, there's a book I read a long time ago called Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller. This is going to help listeners or viewers understand their attachment styles and their patterns in dating. Again, getting back to personal accountability and understanding yourself.

1:02:23Michael Bosstick:That's a great book. again, attached. If you're feeling lost in your health, we have had the great benefit of having so many different health experts on this podcast over the years. You think people like, you know, Andrew Huberman and Dr. Will Cole and Peter Atiyah and Dr. Josh Axe and, you know, all of these different people. And, you know, there's a bunch on this podcast. So not to plug ourselves, but there's many different health topics on this podcast. But if I was going to select a book, There's a great book called Outlive by Dr. Peter Atiyah, who's also a friend. That's like, you know, it's a roadmap on health span versus lifespan.

1:02:58Michael Bosstick:And then, you know, I would also check out the book Atomic Habits by James Clear. That's a great book as well, because it's going to help you build the habits around your health. And then, you know, any episode that we've done with, you know, guys like Huberman or Atiyah or Gary Brecca or Dr. Josh Axe or Will Cole or any of these people that have been in the podcast, there's so many different areas to get your health in order. If you're feeling lost as a parent, there is a great podcast that Dear Media produces by Dr. Elisa Pressman. And we also on this podcast did an episode with Dr. Elisa on this show all about parenting.

1:03:33Michael Bosstick:We also did one with Dr. Becky. That one was really helpful with Lauren and I. Dr. Becky's also great for parenting. So those are some great resources. And then if you're feeling lost in life in general, this is me beating a dead horse, but I think every single person should read Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. I'm reading again, it's been a long time since I've read it, The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer. I'm sure many people have read that book, but those are great. And then a recent guest was Donald Miller and he wrote a book called Hero on a Mission, which is a structured journaling method for making your life feel meaningful again.

1:04:09Michael Bosstick:And I highly recommend that book. So those are some resources that I would recommend if you want to kind of take it beyond what I shared with you on this episode. I hope you liked this series of solos. Again, Lauren will be back this Thursday and we have a slate of amazing guests coming up in New York and LA and in Austin. We're going to be batching a ton before the end of the year. But I hope these episodes were helpful and they're evergreen so you can go back at any time. Again, to recap, episode 872, 876, 877, and 878 all touch on different areas that I think are important for people to further enhance their lives from the perspective of yours truly.

1:04:50Michael Bosstick:With that, Carson, we're going to wrap up another solo episode, and we will see you next time with Lauren back on the show. Thanks, everybody.