Keni Silva, Model, Media Personality & Author

0:02Welcome to the Business of Modelling, the podcast where we explore the fascinating world of the modelling industry. I'm Tessa Dewing, Managing Director of Sandra Reynolds, a commercial model agency celebrating its 50th year of business. I'm recording in LA today with Keni Silva. From the heart of Moscow to the catwalks of Paris, Milan and Los Angeles, Keni's journey is anything but ordinary. Get ready to be inspired by a woman who redefines beauty with confidence, kindness and a spark of fearlessness. Kenny, it's so lovely to meet you. Thank you for joining us today. Well, thank you so much for having me.

0:44Wow. I'm like, I want to meet myself now. That was so good. Thank you. So to start from the beginning, you were born and raised in Moscow. What was your childhood like there? Yes, I was born and raised in Moscow. And I grew up in a middle class family with my parents having very big influence on education that was very important to them. I went to one of the best schools in Moscow. I had two languages, English and German early on. My mom had travel agencies, so I traveled the world since I was a little girl. I, you know, I lived outside of London in a family to study English. Like my parents, because my mom owned a travel agency, they will send me and my girlfriend to like Italy or Turkey.

1:34And the owners of the hotel will just watch us, you know. So I loved, I think my mom actually raised me with a sense of you're going to live somewhere outside of Moscow. That was her dream, but she couldn't do it. and I was ready like I could live anywhere in the world to be honest with you like I was raised with that mentality languages didn't bother me religions different people it was just like it's just the world like I and I'm actually very grateful to my mom that I don't have that mentality or fear of getting outside the country right like to me the world is the country yeah and I love that there's no limits and obviously your mama worked so you got a good work ethic from her as well you saw her yes the first time uh i obviously i worked for her in the summers and my first real job when it was not my mom i was 14 i worked as um in the number one newspaper in moscow as a secretary i will pick up the phone and answer and it was like and i get paid so much and i was like wow i'm only 14 and that's where I got the sense of money and then I saw an ad for modeling and I'm like mom I want to try that like that's easy I can still do the schooling and everything you want me to do but I do want to make my own money and she's like okay great like so how did that come about what's the story of that so I saw an ad about modeling school so we went with my mom and she signed me up and from there I was like 14 turning 15 and I started modeling at 15 they actually offered me to go to um Seoul to South Korea for it was big at that time to go there for like two or three months to do catalogs and skincare and I was ready to go and my mom was like no way you're going there I knew when you were young that was when you were 15 I was 15 and I was ready to go that's young I was so ready to go.

3:32And I was like, it just, I don't know. I just, I always had adventure in me. So I'm like, that's so cool. Like to be somewhere and do all these things. But my parents said, no, my dad was very big in getting me into this prestigious university for economics. So my whole point was like, you have to go there. This is like my, my mom went there. He went there. It was like a tradition. So what I did, I asked him, I said, okay, I will go. but I want to finish the last two years of high school in one year. I don't want to actually go to school. I just want to finish it. And they agreed. So I started my university year younger than other peers because it was just too easy.

4:11Like schooling to me, it's knowledge how to, it's not just about like sitting in classroom. It's what you call it like street smarts. Yeah. You know, and I teach the same thing to my kids. I'm like, listen, you don't have to read 360 page book if you can get around like I cross read things like like it's just like this is what life is about it's about figuring out how to do less work and still get the job done my parents were okay with everything because I got into the college they wanted you know I managed to finish two years of high school I did the modeling I get the money I wanted to make because it was easy and then I realized like you know what I want to go to Milan so I went to Milan to work yeah it was Milan and I loved it I truly did I think it was just like a beginning of me being truly independent not having my parents around me it was a different city it was a different vibe it was just like I loved it how old were you when you went there I was 18.

5:18Right, okay. So you'd got your education, you'd made your parents happy. Well, yes, I was studying, you know, and I would do the same thing. I would just come twice a year and I would pass the exams. And in Moscow, it's here they also have, I think, programs that you can do online now. They're very catering. Back then in Moscow, like, you know, you just tell the teachers, like, oh, I'm traveling, I'm doing the work. And they're okay with it. They're fine. Sure, sure. As long as you pass, you know, the requirements. And you're doing the work.

5:50i think the best thing about modeling it teaches you to let go a lot of things like it builds your confidence to the point that if somebody rejects you it doesn't even matter anymore because you realize this is not there has nothing to do with you it's about the work and you either fit in or you don't. It's not how you look. It's not about, you know, who you are. They're just looking for a canvas they can paint into something that they have a vision for. And I think it's actually great because especially in those days, and I see it with my teenage daughter, when everything is so superficial in a sense, you know, when they see like girls looking beautiful and this, and they're very conscientious about the rejection.

6:41Like I see there's not enough confidence in a young woman because they strive to this perfection, but actually it's a fake perfection. You know, it's something that gets created with the media, with the trends, and there is no authenticity. And it's hard for them, I think, when they get rejected by their peers or they have certain, you know, concerns about how they look, which modeling told me, taught me it has nothing to do. It's just, you know, it's, I was confident enough that if you get rejected 20 times a day, it's fine. Yeah. And I think that was instilled in you though, at an early age, by the sound of it, by your parents and by your upbringing.

7:29Whereas I think that hasn't, that wasn't or isn't the case in a lot of girls. You know, they don't have that sort of strength. And then I think it can be a tough industry. Well, to me and my mom, the way my mom raised me, she always told me that every woman has to have her own money. That's how it goes through my whole life. You know, that's why I think the confidence comes within. It's to me, like woman, like I was since 15, I actually wanted to be Vita Peron. I always wanted to change lives and impact them in a bigger way. Like J.K.O. is my idol for, you know, an inspiration for her impacted style or Grace Kelly.

8:09To me, that's what beauty is a legacy. It's the impact that a woman brings. That's a true beauty. It's not the face or the body. You know, that fades away. You see millions of faces every day, but only certain people stay in your memory and stay that people still talk about them. That's who I wanted to be very young. So modeling to me was just like it was something that gave me freedom. It was easy money. You know, I didn't have to do, you know, I didn't have to work nine to five. You know, it's something I already had. And that's, I think, what's so important in life in general. You know what you have and what you can make out of it and just utilize that.

8:51So it was one of the steps on the path. exactly it's one of the steps the same thing when i went through divorce you know i'm like you know what like i want to write this book i want to help out it's go whatever you're going through yeah you can always and i love changing that's why i have so many degrees i think in life you know because life is not set to just do one thing and i tell my guys i'm like listen i'll always say at 17 you don't know what you want but just get a general i like a degree that you can utilize business is great but if in five years you decided you want to do something different like be doctor a lawyer or like a singer whatever you want do it like do it you can change any time in your life just wake up and be like you know what i want to go to australia and be a surfer that's it you know nothing is set in stone yeah no absolutely

9:44Absolutely. Have you got a couple of stories about your modeling? Can you remember a couple of jobs that you did that stood out for you? I did the Palms Casino, which I absolutely loved. They flew me to Vegas and I stood in this. It's a bigger, largest room at the time they had it. It probably was 20 years ago. It was probably maybe they have a bigger with a full basketball court. Like, I remember things like that where you experience things that normal people will not do. Like, I always loved that about, you know, modeling because you go to places like I was in Milan and they flew me to Ibiza to do, you know, like photo shoot or, you know, like there are certain things that come with modeling.

10:27That's absolutely amazing. Besides meeting fascinating people, it's different locations, which I love traveling. If you hate traveling, it's not the job for you. you know if like if you don't like to wake up early it's not the job for you but to me that's why i think i love it so much because it's always different it's not the same i can't do the same things either that's why it's good for me and especially i loved living in milan because you know like every week you're almost in a different city you would be like okay like now you have to go here now you have to go here la was a little bit different because it's so far from everything so like vegas was a place or you know like i it's it's just a different modeling in milan and modeling in la it's completely different la is more oriented into movies and commercials and you have to have all these different things and you know but it was still great it's it's a great experience i think when you're young it gives you it teaches you work ethics back in the day i don't know how it is now everybody was strict they find you if you 30 minutes late to any job and it teaches you very fast like okay i have to be on time like i have to absolutely i have to look good i have to do this and you know it's i love that i think when you're young i always knew that modeling is not going to be the end like this is not going to be my full life yeah yeah but it was a great thing for me to to travel to you know make my own money and you with elite when i was with elite yeah they've gone through some very yes rocky things i was with elite in la and actually my contract was with elite in new york so yeah i was planning to move to new york because the modeling in la was not something i was used to it it was a lot of like beachy and so you came from milan and then how did you get to uh come to la from milan uh actually well it's a love story.

12:25I was, I came from Milan in August to renew my visa to go back in September. And I met my ex-boyfriend and he's like, oh, like, do you want to come with me to America? And he was a hockey player. He just signed a contract and I'm like, sure, like, why not? And when I got here, I just can't sit still. So I went and I signed a contract with the leads and I loved it for a little bit, but then I realized like, this is not the modeling I'm used to. This is not like serious modeling, You know, this is not, there's no big campaigns or anything. And they're like, well, you know, like New York is our center for modeling.

13:00And it was already, I've been in LA at that time for two or three years. And I was seriously planning to move to New York. So you had a work, you had a green card, a work permit here. You could work here. Yes, yes, yes. Yeah, they helped me with my work visa. And yes. And I was planning to go back to, I broke up with that boyfriend. and I was planning to move to New York. I went to New York. I talked to them. They're like, okay, come in September. You know, this is the time you will start. And I seriously, even I already had a place in LA that I bought, but I'm like, it's great, but I want to do like, I don't want to be in movies.

13:36That was not my thing. And I wanted to do, until I figure out what's the next step, I want to do a real modeling. So I was planning to go to New York, and then I met my ex-husband. and he's like well why wouldn't you stay I said well there's nothing like like that's here I want to do he's like except I want to be a designer he's like okay well do you want to go to fashion design school I'm like okay sure I'll go and I went I went to freedom I finished I graduated I have fashion design degree because at the time I really was big into designing and creating and I wanted to uh start my clothing line because i was always i think also modeling for me because i love fashion yeah fashion to me you can be anybody for a day the way you dress can set you know your mood you can be that's why i love wearing gowns i'm like oh my god i think like in my past life i was incredible i love that that's another part of it like i love business to see stuff but at the same time I love wearing gowns and that's why I was going you know what I really want to create you know my design but then I got married I had a first child and it was 2008 when I graduated and it was market collapsed and I'm like you know this is not a great time to start anything because people didn't even know how they're going to leave you know the the times was very uncertain and a lot of businesses closed down

15:13and you've now transitioned from being in front of the camera to building behind the scenes obviously your brand platform voice how did that process happen i think it gradually just i mean i was married and i had kids for like 15 years i have from having business degree to fashion degree then i got my broke real estate because that's what i always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom and give my kids a full of my, you know, full time of me being there present. But at the same time, I always wanted to do something. So I'm not just a stay at home mom. So that's where I got my real estate license because we used to and still invest a lot in real estate.

15:55And it was perfect for me because then I can manage my time with children and still make my own money. And I don't have to, you know, be and I can be present with them. and then obviously when I was going through divorce I got the idea because I was always journaling that I don't want to write the book I want to show women and guide them and help them because it gets very dark very scary and and that's why I wanted it and also I just wanted to prove to myself I can do it

16:35so obviously you're in an industry and a city where beauty is currency how have you reconciled personal confidence with the public pressure to look a certain way do you feel that ever you know i honestly i don't feel that okay and i think it's because i'm my worst critic like I know what I well I don't care what anybody says on anything except me if I don't like something in how I look that's a problem all other things people say like I'm too skinny I'm too I'm obsessed with being skinny I'm obsessed how like certain things are like I don't care how many people that doesn't bother me unless there's something in me that I don't like then I become perfectionist then I want to perfect it but to me again the beauty is not just listen like we all age.

17:23I'm 42. I'm very proud. I never said once in my life that I'm younger than it is. And I would never want to go back to be 20. Not because of anything. I mean, I still have the same bodies, same measurements as I had at 20. It's the wisdom, the knowledge that you get with age, the understanding of what you want. And this is so beautiful to me, like to wake up and know, you know what like this is what I want and I know how to get it yeah I'm feeling comfortable in your own skin exactly it's like that's right yeah especially after divorce I always tell people you put me in any country in anything take away anything I will build myself up because now I know how to do it in my 20s I was so confused I didn't know what I want I didn't know what I think you listen to what other people think don't you as well when you're in your 20s yes no no one's ever gonna you know people are always gonna have you know be judgmental and about how you look or and things like that but yeah you've got to be comfy with yourself and just back those things off and I think when you're younger you take those in and take those things personally I think don't you more thank god I think it's just my personality I never did I never I always knew what I wanted I always knew how to get it I always knew what I have no one else has that's the biggest difference I always knew, yes, maybe I'm not good for this because this is not what it is.

18:44I'm very realistic with myself. Yeah. I don't give myself false, you know, expectations. Like, I know what I'm good at and I appreciate it. Like, there are certain things like, listen, this is not for me. This is like, I wouldn't even do it. And I think this is very important for everyone to have realistic expectations of themselves and know who they are. That's the most important. This is why I think so hard for a lot of men or women. They don't know who they are. They don't know what they want. They don't know what makes them happy. And it was for me, it was a lot of, you know, finding out to do because I was lost in my marriage.

19:22That's what led me to get divorced. I became somebody I wasn't recognizing myself, not the appearance. It was the inside. I didn't know who I was anymore. I as a young woman you know like in my 15 20s I had all these goals that were bigger than life and then somehow everything just you know it was lost in translation and I wanted to find that I wanted to find that spark that was always in me like I want this I want that I want it and I did it took me some time and you know discovering sleepless nights and crying but I did I've sat here with such a lot of some of the most beautiful women in the world and I've sat and listened to them tell me that they don't feel enough and they don't feel pretty enough or they don't feel thin enough and it's just heartbreaking you know to hear that when outwardly they well they're incredible what advice would you give to anyone that might be listening that might be feeling like that I think we all have something that we would love to perfect in us you know and And it's hard to give advice on that because even me, like there's certain things and maybe to the world it looks different.

20:36But all of us, and I think the most important thing is to realize that, yes, this is my whatever I don't like about. Right. And be OK with that. We all are not perfect. We're perfect, but we are have the imperfections maybe we don't like. And I think acknowledging that and just being okay with having those feelings. That's what makes us human at the end of the day. Exactly. And I think, you know, like if everybody's like, listen, like I'm all up and cheerleading in this. But if I would say like, oh, my life is perfect. It's like, no, it's what we make out of it. I think the darkest moments in our life actually create the most beautiful moments.

21:18And I think it's okay to allow yourself to feel different feelings every single day. There's days when I wake up and I'm so happy and I'm, you know, so motivated. And there's days when I wake up and I'm like, I just want to be in bed. Acknowledging that and allowing yourself to go through these feelings and emotions, that's the most important thing. Yeah, and not comparing yourself to other people. And not comparing yourself, you know, because it's, listen, sometimes I do that too, but not to the appearance or things. To me, it's always more about like, oh my God, it's more about doing and, you know, things it's like oh my god like I want to be on this show I want to create this I want to do this to me it's more those kind of things it's never I mean the only thing I think now and especially I think after my daughter went through her adrenal tumor realizing how health is so important time is the most precious thing in this world you can make more money but you can buy more time you can make more time and that's why I think a lot of perspective shifted for me in the last two years seeing that life is so precious don't waste it you know love yourself start loving yourself start saying to yourself you know what you're so amazing you're I'm so proud of and I do this every day after every little achievement I'm like I'm so proud of you because a lot of times I think we're this race for something we don't even acknowledge how much we already did we are not proud of what we did and that's why it comes that unsatisfaction with ourselves celebrating those celebrating things then reminds you wow but i i'm doing a lot i am enough yeah yeah because we always concentrate on what's not good instead of concentrating we're tough on ourselves we're very tough on ourselves and of course if you start listening to all the outside world then that's what crushes yourself you know your inside and that's what makes you sad or depressed or whatever that's why every day i wake up in a journal every single day i wake up at the end of the day i'm like you know what this is what i'm grateful for i'm so proud and i say the word proud because it's very important to acknowledge all the things you're doing to get motivated for the next step that's what gives confidence because when you start listing the things you do you realize like wow that's that that's a lot that's so powerful that is you know like not in a comparison way but like i'm doing enough to you know be happy to be proud of my things i don't need to compare myself to anybody because everybody has their own journey

24:11tell us about the life-changing event in your daughter's health so a couple years ago she was diagnosed with adrenal tumor and it was 10 centimeters it was you know a small cantaloupe and the doctors because of the size said it's probably going to be 90 stage 2 cancer and my ex-husband being a doctor he gave the whole prognosis of you know recovery and you know what other options will have to be like chemotherapy and things. And I don't know, there is something in me as a mother. I feel very close connection with my kids the same way I took her to the doctor and told the doctor something wrong with her the same way that I felt, you know, it's going to be a miracle, whatever you want to call it.

24:51And she writes songs. She's a singer. So she wrote being in the hospital a song called Fight's Not Over Yet. And a part of her lyrics, she wrote that she will beat the odds. and she did beat the odds. It was not cancerous. You know, it still have some, it was seven hour surgery with different teams because it was pushing her kidneys. They didn't know if they had to remove part of it. She could have died, like all this. But that changed the life of all of us in a sense that it gave a true realization how life is so important and precious. And, you know, like there's nothing more important than being here today, like right now, because the past is the past.

25:33And we're not guaranteed the future. That's why, again, being present is so important. We just came back from three-day Miami trip with my daughter because I take kids one-on-one so we can bond and have those things. And we talk a lot about, you know, again, for her, she went through very traumatic. Like, that was even more traumatic then. And as a parent, you're like, why? Like, she already, I had to put her through divorce. Now this, like, why? Like, it's, and how do you even tell your child that you are sick? Like I couldn't. Seriously, I told her when we had to check up the first time to the hospital for all the blood tests and CT scans and MRIs.

26:10I'm like, oh, you're just having a cyst. I couldn't say you have a tumor that might be cancerous. It's impossible. You know what? She said that. And, you know, she knew after the second night. She's like, Mom, what is wrong with me? So my ex-husband told her. And she's like, Mom, I want you to always be honest with me because not knowing is actually scarier than knowing. And she wrote another song. she just released backseat driver that's how she felt she was in the backseat driver she didn't feel in control she didn't feel in control she didn't know where she was going she's like mom i was on a cancer floor like everywhere it says like on college i think kids would like there's just like i figured it out but it was so scary and also the lyrics like is it goodbye is it good night she's like because i didn't know what's wrong with me i was afraid to go to sleep because i was afraid i'm not gonna wake up so all these things just and that's again communication being and open to hear her, being open to listen to her, and not just brush it off, and you deal with it.

27:03Not try to protect her. And we also talked, and I said to her, even like yesterday we were talking about something, I said, Alexis, as a mom, whatever you're going, I'm going with you. I feel every pain you're going through, but you also have to, I know you, you know, like you don't want me to get worried, but it's impossible, and you have to let me go through my journey of these emotions because it's all very important acknowledging it like i acknowledging whatever you're going through you're going through i'm here to help you but you have to do the same thing with me maybe sometimes i get frustrated or get upset and you know we all have these emotions that just go to a forest you know yeah yeah when it's like oh my god it's gonna explode and i said i don't want you to take it personally but sometimes i just need you know my own time my own space or even if i have to vent this is me going through my journey you just have to be there to support it so we talk and that's why i'm saying communication is so important especially she's a teenager 16 a lot of times she doesn't know what to do or how to handle it and you know there's a lot of different things from going through divorce like she would ask me and i'm like alexis you know i've never been divorced like i don't know how this is like yeah you know it's like can i meet your boyfriend it was like a couple years ago i'm like well is is it okay now like how does this work?

28:22I've never been divorced. I don't know how those things work, you know, but I made my kids a part of the same journey. I don't now because we agreed we're going to be very honest with each other. We're going to say as it is. So I am vulnerable with them. I tell them how I feel. I want them to see it's okay to be human. It's okay. No matter what people say, like you don't have to always put a facade and be so strong. No, the strength is in knowing who you are, what you're going through. That's the strength and allowing yourself to do that. And that leads us on to your philanthropic work. Can you tell us a bit more about that?

28:56So actually the same week my daughter was diagnosed, my friend Thomas, who is the founder of COS, the staff organization for pediatric cancer, he called me and he asked me to be on the board. And I always wanted to be a part of a charity, but I wanted to speak to me because I believe that you have to have a real passion or connection to something to do the best you can. And that to me was like a God's calling. Like this was, besides my daughter was not, this was something I truly believe because what our organization does, besides we give grants to companies that do research for pediatric cancer, we also fund hospitals throughout the country for alternative care like music and art program.

29:39And that's because of my daughter music career. I see how music is so important as a therapy, as, you know, going through or she writes and sing. So what we do is exactly how I saw my daughter help her in a way. And of course, you know, a lot of hospitals in the country, they don't have funding for that because this is something extra. But that's something extra that really helps. So important for emotional state, for mental state, for a kid just to feel a kid. And that's where, you know, when you do something that you're so passionate about and especially as a parent that went through it and knowing that the money we're raised will not just go somewhere, that it's really a real impact.

30:21This is when you want to do more because you know how much it's going to help. And you've had that personal experience. And I had that personal experience. That's why I'm like, I know when I talk to our investors or I give talks, I'm so passionate about it because I know exactly where the money goes to. I know exactly how important it is to have those programs. I know the impact. Like my daughter still has those art things from the hospital for two years ago. She has that blanket, all those things, because that was like, that was something a light in the middle of the darkness for her. So I know how much it is for, you know, these kids to have that access to this program.

31:00So is the family, too, because nobody's prepared. Once you're in that situation, nobody knows what to do. Nobody knows how to help the child, how to make him smile. They don't. recently I was awarded by the state for my philanthropic work so I'm very besides you know different other words but you know being awarded by the state it's a big achievement. A big thing and that's obviously very important to you. Yes it's very important and we hold last uh we we held our annual gala in February in Aspen we raised three and a half million dollars so it's we pledge to you know Atlanta hospital, LA hospital we pledge money to them sometimes before even raising the funds.

31:36That's how passionate we are. That's, you know, we want to do, we want to help. So moving on to your life now, post-divorce, you're now in a very happy relationship with Mohamed Hadid, who, as people don't know, is the father of Gigi and Bella, two incredible models. Why does this relationship work so well for you? How did you guys meet and why does this work so well for you now? You know, I always say that my partner, Muhammad, he always lets me fly high in guiding me, but never cuts my wings. And that's why I realized in a relationship for me, it's the most important thing because I can't be caged in.

32:15I can't be, you know, he has so much respect, not only for what I do, for my time with my children, especially we met when I just got divorced and my kids everything to me so when I'm with my kids I don't want my kids to share me with anybody else and he has that respect you know like once you divorce you're not really free to do whatever you have responsibilities you have schedule you're not that girl that you were in their 20s that can just you know like oh my god like let's escape for a week I go even for my work I have a whole calendar when I do have kids, when I don't have kids, especially was in the beginning, because I wanted my kids to feel that I'm always there for them.

32:57And he was such a big support. And he always encourages me to have because he has amazing relationship with his ex-wives. You know how important it is for kids, for everybody to have that. So he sometimes, you know, coaches me like, oh, that's how you should reply like to ex. and he understands that and i think it's very rare these days or in general because you know a lot of people are very self you know it's everything around them so especially for men

33:23Keni Silva: they have to be surrounded with it and they can be insecure and it's a jealous of your own time he's not like that and with age you also realize it's for me it's very important because i travel the world that the person has to have you know that he has to understand what i do he can go with me to a black tie event or charity event at the same time I mean we do drive-thrus you know it's not always here it's like every spectrum but because I want it all I do so many things it was very important for me to find a person that can relate to that and understand that yeah and you know I mean listen I'm lucky I'm just a lucky girl that's but I also I would never waste my time you know like I know in third in the first 30 minutes if it's gonna work or not and I'm not the person I just want to be with somebody just to be with.

34:13It has to be right. I'd rather be alone. I don't have enough time for everything, but it was just, it just right. Everything, you know, we've been together for quite some time. It's just perfect. It's just, you know, we also had to do some alterations like any couple does, but we understand and communicate. And I think I get better and better of relating of what I want because that's why I think important not to lose myself again in a relationship or like the situation to be able to say okay this is what i expect and men actually you know they want the guidance because i i have a boy and a girl and children yes and men are very black and white if you tell them like okay i want you to buy me flowers they would happy to do it because they'd rather instead of getting your cues what do you want it's much easier on them too so i learned that because i think a woman in general we expect this fairy tale we expect that you know what he's going to surprise me with this a lot of times they don't do it because they don't even know you're kind of hinting well then that just goes straight over the head and i learned like this so you have to be so precise and straight be like hey this is what i want make it happen and you know that's where my second book is going to be like we fantasize so much about everything but life is so much easier men are so much easier men are so different from us you know they're really like straightforward there's no games no nothing you know it's like that's why I feel a lot of women get so caught up into overthinking over there's like no there is nothing like that and I am raising two kids opposite genders that's why I see the difference it's like wow how do you keep your kids grounded when you obviously have such a public life i think i was always very strict with them in a sense of you know like because it's not even a public eye they grew up with things that most kids don't they grew up in a very beautiful home several homes around everywhere they went on trips from you know like everywhere europe you name it and i think always telling them how and showing them how other world is that what they have is extremely rare.

36:24I always tell my kids, listen, like you have an advantage before other kids because I can always help you, support you if you need help, but you have to learn to utilize it. And, you know, life is hard. I tell them, like, listen, like, you will always have a room in my house for yourself, but if you want something more, you're going to have to work yourself. And life, you can have anything you want, but you have to work hard for it. I'm not there to support your life. Once you're 18, you're in college, you're on your own. I've been telling them since they were little what you have right now just use take it as a biggest gift in your life because once you're on your own you're on your own don't expect this will continue no this is what I built and you enjoyed it for the first 18 years but then it's on you I give you all the tools all the schools all like the college yeah but then you have to do it yes and we talk and you know like my son loves gaming and I'm like Josh you spend so much time I might all this thing, like, well, I can start the gaming and plan.

37:23Like, yeah, it's not even about making money. It's teaching them to think outside the box. If you spend so much money, like, okay, do something with it. You know, it's like the same thing. But my daughter is, and I think also, to be honest with you, kids always look up to their parents. And they see, you know, their dad is very successful. Like, I'm not just, you know, like, I'm doing things. My daughter also has her own charity. After her thing, she has her own foundation. The kids repeat things that they see at home. You know, since they were little, they played piano, they did this. Of course, when they, my daughter's second degree in black belt taekwondo, like they, when they're very little, you have to push them to do better.

38:01Yeah. But then it becomes like they're used to it. Yes, yes. It's nothing like strange that they do all these things. And yes, it's not like they didn't do anything for 15 years and now you want them to do something. They were raised like that since they were born. Yes, they had a great life, but also they had a lot of expectations from them. And I'm not talking about grades. I'm just talking about, you know, the things that they needed to do or this. So I think when you start very young, they just grow up with that. They just grow up with that. Yeah, with that expectation. You know, there's nothing.

38:32And I think the thing that whatever background a kid is from now, the thing they all have in common is that they see the same stuff on social media. How do you handle that? What do you teach them about social media? You know, I actually feel so sad for them. And I tell them, I'm like, you know, when I was your age, I can do whatever nobody would know about it. You guys have to be extra careful because it's not just that somebody can take a picture or video of you doing all these things. It impacts your life for the future. Those images are going to be there. The colleges will review your application.

39:02And these days, because I listen to a lot of college people that come to explain, they will Google you. They will see what embarrassing things you do. And you have to be extra careful. if I had I could I mean listen we all did something when we were younger just a part of growing up you're just trying things but nobody like nobody has any evidence of this the kids have to be besides all these trends on YouTube when kids harm themselves they hurt themselves there's so many things that these days like when I was growing up I think alcohol and cigarettes were the biggest thing these days they mix the pills and things that kids become brain dead and I have to explain them i feel like they have to go through a lot as children as young generation because they get too much too fast what led you to write a book in the first place the first time you'd written yes i was always journaling right my whole life and i started and during divorce because we really didn't say to a lot of people that we are going through divorce so journaling for me was the outlet for me i didn't have a therapist i don't have therapist even now so it was my outlet for everything i was going through it was like just you know i would write everything my fears my you know like like the darkest parts then i started writing the advice that my attorney would give or something like okay i have to prepare for this and then it just became this you know like wow there's a lot of good things yeah knowledge like there was one time because you go through so much emotions during during it sometimes you can't control it all and i remember i was trying to like google different podcasts or things to help and i did brain mapping that helped me and you know like i did i couldn't meditate so i would walk for hours a day to help myself calm down and then my girlfriend told me that's actually a moving meditation that's such a thing which i didn't know because i can only get a meditation state of mind during making a movement like during walking that's what brings my mind yeah to be quiet yeah oh i noticed that when i do pilates it also does the same thing i can't just sit still because my mind is racing so fast yeah but when i walk because i concentrate on walking or the music i'm listening that gets me to that state of mind and i remember like i would walk sometimes twice a day for an hour and it was an instinct in me that was doing it but later on i learned that is because that was my meditation thing to get that and once i started doing all these things and obviously i went through divorce and i'm like there's so much i learned i want to share this i want to help women and but the most important thing was not just guiding them through showing them that divorce is not the end.

41:53It's a rebirth. It's a starting point. It's a new start. And preparing for that during divorce is actually, that's how you start changing your mentality. That's how you shift in from bad to good. Something looking forward to. Don't waste your time crying about what happened. Just start preparing yourself for your next chapter. My final question to you today is what advice would you give to a 14-year-old girl in Moscow right now dreaming of something bigger? Do it. do it over and over again never give up dream so big that becomes unreachable because once you reach it then your life is like okay what am i doing now and listen to your insight not to other people because a lot of times what we hear from the world about us shapes us in the wrong direction and there's nothing impossible in this world i can tell you that because i went through so many different stages if you put your mind to it and you do work hard this is not a cinderella that's why a lot of times people talk about manifestation i'm like listen i believe in manifestation but you also have to tell people to do things this is not like you sit in your dream and prince will knock on your door no only amazon person will knock not the prince you have to teach people that you have to take that first step you have to be okay with the rejection you can't stop

43:22Thank you, Kenny. That was such an insightful conversation. Thank you so much. I love this. From the catwalks of Paris, the pages of Vogue and the red carpet at Cannes, Kenny's career has spanned continents and platforms. But what stands out most isn't the glamour, it's the quiet strength of her philanthropic work. If you enjoyed today's conversation and would like to find out more, head over to kenysilver.com or follow her on Instagram at kenysilver underscore. As always, thank you for listening. If you enjoyed the episode, don't forget to subscribe, leave a review and share it with someone who might find it inspiring.