#1 Emotional Intelligence HABIT to Embrace Your FULL Potential! | Nicole LePera EP 638

0:00Hi, my name is Lewis Howes and welcome to the Daily Motivation Show.

0:11You mentioned people-pleasing, overachiever kind of archetype. What are the different types of archetypes that human beings have? Is one people-pleaser, overachiever? What are the main ones, I guess? So just an archetype. So we're having everyone knows what we're talking about here. Again, it's a very conditioned, patterned way of being. We don't, as humans, typically fall neatly. Some of us might see ourself in only one archetype. Some of us might see evidence in different archetypes. We might see different sides of ourself in different types of relationships. So multiple archetypes might apply.

0:47Again, they're not, you know, be all end all categories, but they're general ways of being. Typically how we're relating to others in relationships or to the world at large. So I mentioned the overachiever because that's one of my predominant ones. Some others are the caretaker. The person who's always endlessly showing up to service others' needs. But never their own. Never their own. The yes person who can't say no, who's always, again, in another model of service. There's a hero worshiper archetype, always outsourcing, always looking for the person or the thing that has an answer as opposed to within.

1:26Life of the party, another archetype that's pretty common. The person who never allows any negative, if you will, even though I don't love those words, sadness, any lower kind of vibration energy to be part of their experience. They're always happy. Everything's always great. Again, acknowledging that there's a range of human emotion. And if we're cutting off the negative, we're usually cutting off aspects of our lived experience. So they're general ways of being. typically maybe listeners can know kind of the way they show up in relationships if not being a witness seeing how are you showing up what is your primary mode of relating to other people this is based in the idea that typically our primary primary modes of relating are based on our earliest relationships we get very repetitive so i was like i described my overachievement didn't start in adulthood, I began to assume that role in my childhood relationships, the person who's always performing in one way or another or trying to keep the peace in one way or another.

2:32That was me, keeping the peace was me for sure. And so if we are aware of that first, kind of our main archetypes, is the next step learning how to heal or is it learning how to reparent or what would be the next phase that we should end doing the work? So the first, as I always acknowledge, for some of us, just having that awareness. I'm continuing to have my needs unmet in relationships because that's usually the byproduct of assuming roles or wearing these masks is my full self isn't being expressed or I'm chronically not acknowledging any of my needs. For some of us, acknowledging that role and typically where it came from, though that's not mandatory.

3:12You don't need to know the thing that hurt me. But for some of us, that can be relieving that can offer an alternate version of narration as opposed to I'm broken, which is usually where we end up. Oh, I'm unfulfilled in my relationships because I'm unlovable, because something's wrong with me. So for some of us, just having that awareness, no, I'm the overachiever. I'm the caretaker because of things that have happened as a result of my experiences. For some of us, that's healing in and of itself. Is that, are these coping mechanisms then? typically he's got a master archetype she's like we do this our way of being becomes i call it the onion we by the time we're in adulthood we're living such a conditioned way typically as a result of coping with something that was too overwhelming or too difficult at one time and the coping is it all back to feeling seen heard and acknowledged is like we do these things so that someone sees us or acknowledges us in my opinion and or to then as a byproduct avoid the pain that once was.

4:11So the life of the party, I'll use an example. If at one point when I showed sadness, I didn't feel accepted given whatever has happened, then if I stop, if I modify, if I do not tell mom the sad thing that happened, I don't have to feel that pain of that rejection. So I just say a little less of my sadness and a little less of my sadness over time. So it's a coping to avoid that hurt that was once unbearable. Interesting. To either be seen or to avoid pain. Yeah. Is that it? What archetype should we live in? So once we become aware, right, if it, you know, the relief can go so far for some of us, then we're still left with us and our conditioned way to be.

4:56Right, right. We're still left with that habit, that pull. Like I shared throughout my book even, my overachiever is right there, ready, right, for that reaction in each and every moment so cultivating new responses is ultimately the next step responses that we now get to choose as an adult at one point we weren't gifted with choice we were in environments that we had no say around now i can show up i can make a new choice so i can learn a new way of being i can begin to show maybe all aspects of myself walking through the discomfort that will come along with change and the vulnerability that's part of the process now of showing a new part of myself, though over time that allows me to cultivate my full self-expression.

5:41So the work, as my book offers, is still part of the journey. Awareness isn't going to create change because those habits are mapped down into our subconscious pathways that are at the ready. We've gotten really good at firing them up and our brain actually prefers that path. So showing up in our conscious mind, teaching ourself that we always have that pathway that leads to all of the consequences that they've always led to. And then this pathway could lead to something else that will probably be uncomfortable because it's new, it's uncharted territory, though it could help me march toward a future of my choosing.

6:24Thank you so much for listening to today's episode of The Daily Motivation, and I hope you have an amazing rest of your day. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to click the link in the description. That will take you to the full episode of our main podcast on The School of Greatness. And if you are loving the daily motivation, please follow us over on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review over on Apple Podcasts right now. And if you want more exclusive content and ad-free listening experience, make sure to subscribe to our Greatness Plus channel on Apple Podcasts right now. And if you want to get even more inspiration from our world-class guests and learn how to improve your life and take it to the next level, then make sure to sign up for the Greatness newsletter and get it delivered right to your inbox over at greatness.com slash newsletter.

7:15Again, have an amazing day, and I'll see you tomorrow with another episode of the Daily Motivation Show.