Achieve Your Goals By Realizing You’re Not Going To Live Forever | Donald Miller EP 806

0:00Hi, my name is Lewis Howes, and welcome to The Daily Motivation Show.

0:10I wrote my eulogy about 10 years ago. What did that do for you when you did it? It gave me incredible clarity about what my life needs to become. Writing my eulogy told me what direction my life needed to go. I edit it pretty frequently. In 10 years, I've realized how much a human being can do. They were small visions 10 years ago, and now they are not small visions. Why do you think it's important to read it frequently? There's two reasons. One is, as I said earlier, it directs your life. Two, and this is an even bigger reason, it reminds you that you're going to die. There's something unbelievably sobering about recognizing the fact that your story is going to end, you're going to leave the planet, and you're not coming back.

0:57My development team, I've asked them, do you think on the eulogy page you can actually have a countdown timer based on the average life, especially in the country that you live in. That's crazy. Yeah. I think that's smart. You know how much time I've got, Love? You said 30 years, right? Yeah, two Lucys. Lucy was my chocolate lab. Oh, man. And she lived to be 14 years old. My wife called her my first wife because Lucy and I were married before Betsy and I were married. And we put her down two Saturdays ago. Oh, man. And it was absolutely heartbreaking. She got me two Betsy. And then she got Betsy and I two Emmeline.

1:31Oh, man. And she had a big tumor, terrible arthritis, and finally the vet said, look, you're hitting that point where you're actually punishing her to keep her alive and alive. So I made the right decision. So when I think about when I brought Lucy home to when we said goodbye to Lucy, so much happened, Louis. But the reality is I have two more of those. Like I can get one more puppy and I'll have the same painful and beautiful and wonderful experience. And then one after that, and then we will be put down together. Betsy and I just made a decision the other day. I can't remember what the opportunity was, but it was a really big financial opportunity.

2:10We said, look, you know, it's one day that you don't get to see your daughter. You know, is it worth it? And even this, I'm in L.A., I live in Nashville. Flew out this morning, I'll be in bed tonight. I will see her tonight. You know, because you just go, but, you know, if we didn't die, yeah, of course I'm going to go make that money. You know, so it creates this real beauty of urgency. And also, you start going, well, if I'm going to die and I can't take any money with me, maybe I should pay my employees more. What I want is Emmeline to, when she's 80, to go to Goose Hill and explain to her children and her grandchildren what happened here.

2:47And if I'm on an airplane, what needs to happen here for her to do that won't happen. So I got to be home. And without death, I don't think I would have that realization. They're saying our kids are going to live into their hundreds. That's where technology's going. So if I make it to 80, Emmaline's 30 when I pass away, she's going to do 70 years without dad. Wow. 70. By the time she dies, she will not really remember what I look like. Oh, my gosh. She will have altogether 12 seconds worth of memories at one time of the 30 years that I spent with her. They're just little moments like when he passed you the popcorn at the game.

3:24They're just literally these little milliseconds. I'm not going to risk a chance to create some of those and embed those in your brain. It's not worth it. I was 387 pounds. I'm 210 now. That's amazing. Thanks. Congrats. Do you know one of the main reasons I was 387 pounds? I was subconsciously convinced that if my life were so miserable and I couldn't control myself, a rescuer would come and help me. everything that you think you're going to get by thinking of yourself as a victim you're not going to get the person who gets that is the person who's actually heroic you know who's humble honest and willing to transform you know realizes they don't have the capability to get this thing done and so they transform what i don't like or i'm not super comfortable with are books and ideas that say you are enough you're not enough if you if you are an unhealthy person you're not enough to be in a healthy relationship.

4:18You have to change. What we're trying to avoid there is judgment. But here's the key. Let's admit we're not enough and leave the judgment out of it. Let's admit, you know what? I'm not enough to be in a healthy relationship, but I get to change. And changing is fun. And it's exciting. And I can't wait to see who I've become. We have to hold this idea that we're not there yet and a lack of judgment at the same time. Yeah. And then we have this really fun, meaningful life in which we get to transform. I like that a lot. I wouldn't say you're not enough. I would say it's okay to not be enough, but you're not enough.

4:54You know, instead of saying like you are enough and you've got everything, let's actually say you're not enough and that's okay. Yeah. Do you want to change? Okay. Let's go on a journey together. Great stories that we get to experience are stories about us overcoming deficiencies. So thank God you have a deficiency. Now you have an opportunity to make something really cool happen in your life. Both victimhood and villainy are coping mechanisms. They're how we cope with really hard things. Neither of them are productive. The only thing that's productive is saying, okay, this is a hard thing. I accept it.

5:30I accept the dynamics that are in play here. I do not deny them. I do not reject them. Let me grieve a second. Now let me engage heroically and transform into the person that it takes to conquer this thing.

5:45I am so excited for you to finish the rest of your day strong. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to click the link in the description and it will take you to the full episode of my other show, The School of Greatness. Make sure to come back tomorrow for another episode of The Daily Motivation Show.