ASK THESE 4 Questions To See If They’re The PERFECT PARTNER | Matthew Hussey EP 271

0:00Hi, my name is Lewis Howes and welcome to the Daily Motivation show.

0:10I firmly believe that taking charge of your mindset allows you to be in the driver's seat of your life and unlock your potential. And that's why I'm thrilled to share that my new book is out right now. It's called The Greatness Mindset. In it, you'll learn how to build a plan for greatness through powerful exercises and toolkits designed to propel your life forward. This is the book that I wish I had 20 years ago. It's everything I've learned in the last decade with the research and the science to help you unlock your mind. Make sure to go to lewishouse.com slash 2023mindset to pick up your copy of my book, The Greatness Mindset, today.

0:54What's the first thing people should do to do work on themselves? Here's an interesting question you can ask yourself. If I had 10 hours free right now, what would I do with them? Interesting. If you can't give a good answer to that question, you might already be describing one of the weaknesses of your relationship. And binge-watching a series is not the best use of your time. It's, you know, if the answer is, oh my God, well, I have my purpose, the thing I love getting stuck into, or it doesn't even have to be some grand purpose. Not everyone has found like their life's calling, but it could be, I really want to learn this language, or I really want to see this friend, or I really want to go and, you know, whatever it is, Read this book or learn this thing take care of my health.

1:34Yeah, I want to I can't wait to get to the gym You should be able to answer the question of my partner canceled on me today What would I do with that day now? And if you can't that then you you begin to describe the person who's sitting there waiting for their partner to text them Waiting for their partner to make them feel good enough. That's not attractive It's not and it's not fair to our partners. It's a lot of pressure It's a lot of pressure and and by the way people put a lot of pressure on their partners by expecting their partner to put a band-aid on all sorts of things there's a lot of rhetoric about vulnerability right now now i think vulnerability is huge i think the work that people like bernie brown are doing and so on is huge it's massively important vulnerability is absolutely an act of courage and we should encourage it more both sexes all the time but vulnerability is something's making me insecure and I'm going to share it with you because you're my partner and I love you and I tell you things.

2:32But you don't want to do that every day. It goes beyond vulnerability if an hour from now I tell you, oh God, I'm feeling insecure again. And then an hour from now you go, that thing's affecting me again. And this one tonight, because now in a way what we're doing is instead of sharing, we're dumping. I'm asking you now to fix it for me, to put a band-aid on it for me. you feel better yeah of course it's part of our part a loving partner will support you and will do everything in their power to make you feel loved and to make you feel safe and to make you feel secure and it's absolutely true that sometimes what we're feeling as insecurity is because our partner isn't doing their job yeah in those things sure they're not building they're not building they're doing things that are proactively making us feel insecure there's Minor betrayals, minor neglects, all of that.

3:26But sometimes we have to say, okay, what part of this am I responsible for? And it's my partner's responsibility. It's our responsibility in life together to share, to share the load, to work towards things together. But it's not your job to carry the load for me, to carry my problems, to put the band-aid on every day. Maybe once in a blue moon, yeah. of course of course and we we're all gonna do that we're gonna have like we're we're gonna have days weeks times where we're going through something really serious and our partner's job is to show up yeah you know but my friend of mine who's kind of blunt said to me some days or weeks you get to be needy and difficult and high maintenance and boring and you know insecure and then you don't.

4:17And I thought, yeah, like we get to be those things for a time until we don't, until it gets too much for somebody else because we need to be, at the very least, we need to show our partner we're committed to our own growth.

4:49Thank you so much for listening to today's episode of The Daily Motivation, and I hope you have an amazing rest of your day. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to click the link in the description. That will take you to the full episode of our main podcast on The School of Greatness. And if you are loving The Daily Motivation, please follow us over on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review over on Apple podcast right now. And if you want more exclusive content and ad free listening experience, make sure to subscribe to our greatness plus channel on Apple podcast right now. And if you want to get even more inspiration from our world-class guests and learn how to improve your life and take it to the next level, then make sure to sign up for the greatness newsletter and get it delivered right to your inbox over at greatness.com slash newsletter.

5:39Again, have an amazing day and I'll see you tomorrow with another episode of the Daily Motivation Show.