Beat Alcoholism and Self Destructive Drinking | Jack Canfield EP 323

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1:13I can only imagine the pressures that people have with drinking from their peers alone. Yeah. Even if they don't want to, they're just like, okay, well, I have one and then it ends up being three or four because they want to please their friends. So how do we set up our social circles so that when we do, we do want to go out and spend time with our friends, but when they're drinking or they're going out and having a few drinks, maybe we don't want to, but how do we have a conversation with our friends in a way that doesn't turn them off or make them feel like you're better than them or you're too good to drink or something like that, but also so they can relate and understand and not continue to pressure you every time and say, just have one sip, just try this.

1:53Well, for me, when I was doing my 60 days and where we recommend to people in the book is to just say, you know, what I'm doing right now, I'm just doing a little 30-day experiment in my life to see how it works. And what I'm finding is, you know, I'm waking up earlier, I'm feeling better, whatever. I'm just going to keep doing that for a while. And it's not about, I'm not one of the guys. You're still one of the guys. You were still one of the football players. You still did well what you ever did, probably did better. And if you were to look back and say, take all those guys on a football team and see where they are right now and compare them to your success, I would bet most of them are not anywhere near.

2:25New York Times bestseller, Top 100 podcast, whatever. So Donald Trump never drank. Tom Cruise never drank. You know, we have a statistic. I can't remember all the names right now, but seven of the top ten grossing film stars of all time never drank. Wow. Yeah. And a couple of them actually did, well, two did drink and quit. Right. And the rest, Samuel L. Jackson was a terrible drunk, and then he stopped. And once he stopped, that's when his career took off, and he's made literally hundreds of millions of dollars. You know, I mean, he's an amazing actor. There's a lot of research on the people that don't drink tend to do a little better.

2:59But I would say the conversation for me would be, you know, I get it. You think I should be drinking right now? I'm not going to. Thank you very much. I'm really happy the way I am. And, you know, just stop. It's not going to happen. Exactly. And just let people know. And what happens is people are going to press you like a teenager is going to press you over and over. Can I have the keys to the car? Please have the keys to the car. Come on. And eventually you get that just doesn't lend the keys to the car. You know, it becomes a policy. Like, you know, I don't think many people are offering, you know, Donald Trump a drink.

3:29They know he doesn't drink and they respect him and they're just going to not do it. Just generally, it's called, it's not against you, it's for me. That's a really good thing when you tell somebody. It's not against you, it's for me? It's not against you, it's for me. You know, when people say, can you do this? You say, no, no. And they say, well, you don't like me or whatever. No, no, I'm not saying, it's not against you. I'm making a decision for me right now. I like that. I'm just experimenting with this. I'll let you know how it turns out. I like that. That's really powerful. What do you think is one of the biggest challenges for people getting started with this process of actually saying, okay, I don't want to drink anymore.

4:00Maybe for years they've known it doesn't feel good, but they're afraid. Fear is a big issue. Okay. What's the thing they're afraid of? They're not going to have that crutch? They're afraid? Well, first of all, they're afraid they're never going to drink again. Yeah, if you tell people you got to go to AA and AA says you'll never drink again, that's why a lot of people don't go. I mean, they don't go for other reasons. Public shame. They don't go for something that's too religious for some people, whatever. But the big fear is I'll never drink again. And if I never drink again, I won't have fun again.

4:28It's like life's going to become dull and boring. And I can tell you from my experiment, from my kids' lives, and from Dave, my co-author, you know, Dave coaches basketball for his daughters. He runs marathons. He is a speaker. He dances. He's a big football fan with the Denver team that just won the Super Bowl, you know. He takes his kids to the park every day. I mean, he's having a lot of fun and he thought it would be boring because he had social anxiety as a teenager. And then when he went to college and he drank, all of a sudden he didn't have the social anxiety. He started having more fun.

5:02But it wasn't the fact that he wasn't drinking. In other words, nobody's not having fun because they have a deprivation of alcohol in their system. You know, right. It's like, you know, you're not you don't have depression because you have a lithium deficiency. Sure, sure, sure. You have depression because you're depressing, pushing down on feelings you don't want to feel. So one of the things that does come up for people, and it's a valid fear, is that feelings are going to emerge and perhaps past memories are going to emerge. But if you know what to do with them when they do, which most people don't because we're a psychologically ignorant culture, we didn't learn this stuff in school, then it's scary.

5:35What do I do with these feelings? I feel like they overwhelm me. I can't, you know, whatever. If you have the tools, you know you can heal. If you go into the jungle without a gun, you're going into Africa without a gun, you're a little concerned. Yeah, yeah. You're going to get eaten by a lion or hit by a hippo. But if you've got a guide and a gun, now you know you have the tools to survive in the jungle. Most people go into that jungle called sobriety without the tools they need. And most people can't afford the$30 ,000 a month to go to rehab. Most people don't want to take that time off work, especially if you're a solo entrepreneur.

6:06You can't afford it. We had one guy. He's one of the top sales trainers in America in the real estate world. He read the book and he had not been sober more than 12 days his entire adult life. Every night, drank until he passed out. Totally ashamed. Didn't want anyone to know. That's why he could never get help because he could never go to A, he could never go to rehab. I don't even think his wife - He didn't want other people to know. Didn't want other people to know. And he's now been sober for four months and he's lost weight. He's happier. He feels better when he's running his seminars. More people are coming and enrolling because he's more wonderful up on stage.

6:42He's having more fun, greater sense of humor. I mean, it's changed his whole life.

7:00Thank you so much for listening to today's episode of The Daily Motivation. And I hope you have an amazing rest of your day. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to click the link in the description. that will take you to the full episode of our main podcast on the School of Greatness. And if you are loving the daily motivation, please follow us over on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review over on Apple Podcasts right now. And if you want more exclusive content and ad-free listening experience, make sure to subscribe to our Greatness Plus channel on Apple Podcasts right now. And if you want to get even more inspiration from our world-class guests and learn how to improve your life and take it to the next level, then make sure to sign up for the Greatness newsletter and get it delivered right to your inbox over at greatness.com slash newsletter.

7:50Again, have an amazing day and I'll see you tomorrow with another episode of the Daily Motivation Show.