Become Your Most Authentic Self | Sukhinder Singh Cassidy EP 461

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1:26expresses who you are. And as I keep coming back to your unique gift and strength for impact, yeah, I think that's very purposeful. And I think a lot of people think like, oh, there's my day job and how I make money. And then there's, you know, what I care about. And I'm like, well, my example, my lifetime, not just my dad, by the way, we give him a lot of credit, but my mom, she was a doctor as well. She didn't love entrepreneurship the way my dad did, but she loved serving people. I'm like, why can't they be integrated? Why shouldn't they be integrated? So obviously I'm somebody who takes work too personally.

1:54While I think other people maybe have more distance from it. But I think it's all over. Where they're like, well, this is my job. Then I come home and I live my authentic life. Yes, exactly. But what if you could live your authentic life all the time? All the time. There's going to be things you don't enjoy doing about your work, your job. Yeah, absolutely. Just like everyone. But if you could be yourself and use most of your gifts in that role, it would be great, right? That's powerful. Yeah, and of course. And you know, we live in an era where most people want to go to work and feel even more so than ever that who they are is welcome and that they're included and what their values are fit.

2:24and I want the same thing. How do you express your gifts in business? I try and bring three things to any situation. Number one, I wake up most days feeling pretty grateful for the amazingly talented people I get to work with. Yes, your team. I think of like both leverage and my gift is making other people able to be even more successful and accelerate their journey. Yes. Right, so I think I have that gift because I don't think I wake up every day thinking I'm the best person in the room. I think I wake up every day going like, wow, these are really talented people. And so what I know I can do for people is give them energy and excitement and passion and help them maybe drive faster than they thought they could go.

2:59So I think that's one of my unique gifts. That's great. Number two, I love consuming information. I like thinking fast and acting fast. And so I like to think that, you know, maybe a conversation with me is one where people learn faster and where I learn faster. Like that's a very, so it's not just my gift, right? It's what I enjoy. So I love interactions where you and I, like we have this interaction, we both leave. and it's like a super rewarding interaction, right? I consume a lot of information. I can give you insight, you can give me insight and off we both go. And so I think I'm pretty good at consuming information and helping people give insight and gain insight by just asking lots of questions.

3:34But it's a gift to be used to help accelerate outcomes. When do you feel the most loved? For me, I feel the most loved when I feel accepted for who I am. Gosh, I was having this conversation this morning with someone literally an hour ago. I was like, I'm so grateful and appreciative to be around people that fully accept me for who I am. Don't judge me. Don't try to change me. But accept my authentic power. Yes, that's totally right. And I would say I feel like I feel completely loved when people accept me for who I am, including my imperfections. Yes. And maybe also I feel loved when people see who I am.

4:10Right? So, like, we'll leave this conversation and I'll reflect on it. It's like, oh, that person saw a lot more of me. So I think when people see us fully, we feel loved. Gosh, it's so true. What does it seem like in general? There are a lot of us who surround ourselves with people who don't accept us fully. Why does that happen? First of all, remember that on the other side of that equation is somebody else who's also looking for acceptance. Right, right, right. So it's never like a one way, right? So while we're all going through our own journeys looking forward to be seen and loved, so is the other person.

4:41So I think part of the reason, like, it's sort of like ships in the night, right? Everybody is looking to be seen. Maybe what that means is when we stay in relationships, yes, we're hoping to be seen, but the other person is hoping the same thing. And maybe neither of us are engaging in like an authentic enough conversation with the other. You know, when we love ourselves, obviously, two things happen. Number one, maybe we have our own renewable source of energy. That's enough. So while we want to be seen by other people when we love ourselves, right, you're not so starved yourself that all you want to do from that relationship is take.

5:11You know, but you can see other people ask them the questions about how they want to be seen. Was there a moment when you fully fell in love with yourself? I don't think I'm fully in love with myself even now. Really? Yeah, I mean, I still have all the same work everybody else does. I still wake up with imposter syndrome. I still wake up. Of course, I still wake up ashamed of the things I haven't achieved or, you know, the impact I still haven't had. Like, look, the book is an attempted impact, right? So clearly I'm still striving to do something. So I don't consider myself all the way there by any stretch.

5:40What do you feel an imposter about? I think if you're somebody who wakes up and says, my job is to have impact, right? It's never finished. No, it's never finished. And if you have the humility to understand that you're a speck in this universe, right? Yeah, most days I just want to wake up and make the most of the time I have. I realize it's finite and that I think I'm here for some purpose. That's what I was trained to believe in my own family spiritually. Like we're all here for some purpose to give. Then mostly I'm just like constantly worried that I'm not fulfilling that promise. So, yeah, so it's not like a bad kind of like, right?

6:14It's not like I wake up and say, I don't accept myself. It's more like, wow, if I'm not pushing myself to do more and to have more impact, then I'm not really taking full advantage of why I'm here. By that definition, you're always putting yourself in situations where you may not be enough. But you realize the only way, like, you're going to have the impact you want is if you put yourself at risk. And so you put yourself at risk, you feel like an imposter. You're like, oh, because you're practicing some act you've never done yet, right? Yes. Like, I'm good with it. Right, right. So to your point, I don't fully...

6:40You're not beating yourself. I don't beat myself up. I've mostly accepted that I have a worldview that says it's okay to be imperfect. It's okay that I never feel fully, you know, capable. I'm pretty comfortable with being personally uncomfortable. What are the three most interesting questions you think we should be asking other human beings? First and foremost, I think everybody should ask themselves, what are my unique gifts? When we can articulate what those are, it's not like we're full of ourselves in a bad way. we understand how maybe we can have the most impact. And we seek out environments where that impact can be kind of known, seen, practiced, and realized.

7:18Number two, I believe people should deeply know what they're not great at. I can tell you, like my kids, I drive them crazy. Like all of these same things that are gifts, as you know, have an edge to them that are pretty brutal, right? My kids would be like, mom. What are your unique vulnerabilities? I know I can make people feel energized, but that same energy makes people feel pretty nervous. Right. It has a dark side where it's like people could feel like, well, am I not enough? Like, what do I do to keep up with Sukhinder? Like, that's not really the point. Right. I'm not here to make you feel less of yourself.

7:46Right. So I speed people up. Do you know what I mean? You start talking, I start talking, people are going faster, faster. So I'm pretty impatient. So like if you have high energy and it's always trying to be deployed, you're pretty impatient. Right. You may not wait for someone to finish their sentence. You make somebody else feel nervous. So like that will always be my work. Right. And that is the downside of being like a highly energized person, and like controlling that energy and that passion, right? So it's always at its most productive edge. That is it by a mile. And then the third question we should ask.

8:16And the third question I would say that people should ask themselves. I think it's maybe not a question you ask once, it's a question you ask many, many times, which is what's possible now? In any of your, like if you stop and said like, what's possible now that I'm not doing? People think the possibility's in big acts. Right. And I think possibilities in small acts. So if I see it, it's like, what's possible today? Maybe that's the question. What's possible today? If I wanted to find more joy in a certain area, if I want to find more joy at work, what's possible today? But I do think that there's a lot of power in small acts.

8:46And starting now, right, and to your point, getting in that imperfect motion, right, versus waiting for the day where every possibility will be perfect, that day never comes. Never, yeah. It never comes. So I think, like, if you ask yourself what's possible today, you probably unlock something today, right? And I'm not saying any of us are going to be able to unlock it all in our, like, I live no perfect day where I unlock all the possibilities in my life. I do know the power that comes from unlocking even one possibility.

9:14Thank you so much for listening to today's episode of The Daily Motivation, and I hope you have an amazing rest of your day. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to click the link in the description. That will take you to the full episode of our main podcast on The School of Greatness. And if you are loving the daily motivation, please follow us over on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review over on Apple Podcasts right now. And if you want more exclusive content and ad-free listening experience, make sure to subscribe to our Greatness Plus channel on Apple Podcasts right now. And if you want to get even more inspiration from our world-class guests and learn how to improve your life and take it to the next level, then make sure to sign up for the Greatness newsletter and get it delivered right to your inbox over at greatness.com slash newsletter.

10:04Again, have an amazing day, and I'll see you tomorrow with another episode of the Daily Motivation Show.