Breaking Free from Emotional Prison & Healing Generational Trauma | Jason Wilson EP 880

0:00Hi, my name is Lewis Howes and welcome to the Daily Motivation Show.

0:12So around 46, you made a decision that just being a protector and a provider was not all you wanted to do anymore. I saw it destroying my marriage. Really? I lacked patience. I didn't even understand emotions as far as what a woman is feeling. so again if you're I mean my brothers were drug dealers you know and I grew up in a area where I'm in the middle of gangs from each mile road in Detroit so you I didn't know how to express or really feel emotions outside of being tough and strong or appearing to be what we would call a thug which I've made an acronym for which is a traumatized human unable to grieve I I said this isn't living and when me and Nicole we were arguing our last time before we decided to get a separation in 2015 so look at the time span there I said I need to really dig deep into what's causing me to be this man what's causing me not to embrace all of the human attributes that I've been given by the most high and it was my childhood trauma.

1:28It was my father wound. It was the losses that I've experienced that had shaped my mind into believing another loss is coming. You weren't even good enough for your father to affirm you. But upon deeper reflection, I realized that I didn't have a bad father. I just had a father who had been wounded and didn't go through his process. He loved me. But again, he came from an era where the masculine male was the gold standard. And so until I saw the truth there, before he died, we were able to reconcile, which was beautiful. And he was called by God to be a pastor, but ran from it. Because he didn't want to be perceived as a pimp because in his era, the pastors, the pimps transitioned into being a pastor.

2:15Really? Yeah. And he told me the story. I couldn't believe it. He says, you tax exempt still. So there was just a high, They're a pimp, but they were getting more out of it. Still drove a nice car. Wow. And all you had to do was to pander to the women's emotions. Oh, my gosh. So my father was a barber, very popular in Detroit, so he cut a lot of the pimp's hair back then. Wow. And a lot of them would tell him, big old. Man, nothing like being a pastor. It was almost just like being a pimp. But he allowed that to stop his calling. He could have changed it. But because he was just a masculine male, my father was a provider.

2:53He would work 12, 13-hour days, come home, wore out. At the end of his life, he couldn't walk. He had Parkinson's disease. My mother worried to death. He worked to death. Wow. So those are two extremes that I learned from. And I said, you know, I'm not going to be either. I learned from my dad to make sure I take a rest, take rest in between work. If you don't take a break, I often say you eventually break. and with my mom the brain wasn't meant to hold the trauma she experienced my grandfather was lynched her first marriage was abusive then my brother gets murdered so all of this she couldn't let go and what was amazing brother she didn't find peace my mom until she started to forget forget yeah because of dementia she couldn't remember all of the trauma so she had peace because she wasn't holding on to the memory yes if you don't have the memory.

3:49If you let go of the memory, now you have the peace. You're like an empty vessel that can experience joy and love and harmony again. That's why the scriptures say, cast your cares upon God. We tend to hold them and grasp and hold and control it. And that's what wears us down, especially as men. We can't rest. We can't let go of the disappointments of the day. We're still trying to work when we should be resting. That's what tomorrow is for. table those things find rest and then get up and hit it hard again but again if your whole identity isn't working and performing and success yeah we can't sleep yeah you know and i guess that's one of the greatest blessings of me knowing so many uh influential individuals i get to see the side that people don't see yeah of course and i said well money isn't the answer being a celebrity isn't the answer.

4:41Being a professional athlete or fighter isn't the answer. But being authentic in who you are is the answer. For me, when I found my purpose in Christ, when I found my purpose in following the Most High, that really solidified me, I would say, in being a comprehensive man. Because again, you could be multifaceted, but without a purpose, you're just a busy person.

5:17Thank you so much for listening to today's episode of The Daily Motivation, and I hope you have an amazing rest of your day. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to click the link in the description. That will take you to the full episode of our main podcast on The School of Greatness. And if you are loving The Daily Motivation, please follow us over on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review over on Apple podcast right now. And if you want more exclusive content and ad free listening experience, make sure to subscribe to our greatness plus channel on Apple podcast right now. And if you want to get even more inspiration from our world class guests and learn how to improve your life and take it to the next level, then make sure to sign up for the greatness newsletter and get it delivered right to your inbox over at greatness.com slash newsletter.

6:07Again, have an amazing day and I'll see you tomorrow with another episode of the Daily Motivation Show.