Create Financial Abundance & Change Your Money Mindset | Payal Kadakia EP 242

0:00Hi, my name is Lewis Howes and welcome to the Daily Motivation show.

0:10I firmly believe that taking charge of your mindset allows you to be in the driver's seat of your life and unlock your potential. And that's why I'm thrilled to share that my new book is out right now. It's called The Greatness Mindset. In it, you'll learn how to build a plan for greatness through powerful exercises and toolkits designed to propel your life forward. This is the book that I wish I had 20 years ago. It's everything I've learned in the last decade with the research and the science to help you unlock your mind. Make sure to go to lewishouse.com slash 2023mindset to pick up your copy of my book, The Greatest Mindset, today.

0:51Money can make you feel like you're trapped if you don't have enough conscious knowledge about it, right? At the end of the day, you have to know what's coming in, what's going out, how are you growing your money over time? And if you don't know these things, like there are lessons online that you can learn, you know, there's tools like Mint and apps like, you know, LearnVest where you can actually put your knowledge into this, you know, and really figure out how to make your money work for you. Right. I think that's such an important part of it. Yeah. I mean, you know, money, like I said, can be very constraining for people and it can also be the dream.

1:25But a rich life is not money. And we just talked about that. Right. It's really about waking up every day and loving what you do. Absolutely. So you want to actually be able to earn that over time. I think people are so afraid to just talk about money. Yeah. Why do you think people are so scared of it? I think because there's so many expectations on it. Because for some reason, society has made that like a marker of success. So it becomes like this taboo thing to talk about, right? It's funny, right? Like if you think about followers, we all see that, right? It's just like a different currency, right?

1:56So I think there's a little bit of that. I think it's complicated, right? At the end of the day. Like it's a little bit complicated. You're like, wait, how do I do the math on this? Like, I don't know, but you don't need to know it every day. I think it's just a matter of having the knowledge of it and not letting it run between your fingertips and get away from you to a point where you're like, how did I end up here? Right. You want to be in a place where you're planning where it goes. I mean, especially if you're working so hard, it's so important to know where every single one of those dollars goes.

2:25And I think that goes to my other point is after talking about it, and especially I think in relationships, talk about it. because I think like... Talk about money in relationships. Yes, because I think, you know, especially like when you get married or any of that in a family, people also have different like ways that they were raised and that they value money differently. And I think it goes down to what does money mean to you? Like my husband loves cars and I'm like, I realized that. I'm like, great. I don't really value that, but you value that. And like, you know, and sometimes he'll be like, cars mean the same thing to me as dance means to you.

2:52And I'm like, okay. Like I, it took me a second to like fully understand that. But I was like, it's really a passion for you. So what was the conversation you have with your husband, Nick, around money that worked well and what conversations did not work well around money? Usually when someone's like wants to buy something and like you immediately like are like, no, we can't spend on that. Right. I think those were the worst because it's like stifling someone's dreams. And, you know, both of us work really hard. So it's like, why couldn't you afford anything? Right. For me, it came down to, and I realized this for me, he doesn't want to track them as much as I do the money.

3:27So I realized, let me put all of this together and I set these goals for us, like right after we got married, I'm like, let's get all of our money. I need all the information. If I have all the information and like set a budget, I'll feel a lot better about it. You'll have more peace of mind. Totally. So I'm like, you can do whatever, but I just need to know that, like, I need to know where it's going and how I can actually track it. Like at any point, you could have a lot of money or a little money. You still need to know where it's going. And so I think for me, like it came down to having a place where we could track it.

3:54We have like a family office that helps us. We check in with them quarterly. We go through the numbers. And I think just having that conversation and even for him to just be like, okay, this is what we spent on. This is what we didn't spend on. It's good. And it's made me feel better. Just, like I said, it comes down to knowing the numbers, knowing where the money goes, allows me to be like, okay, I have this much money to dream on, right? Like these are sort of packs I've always kind of had with my life. I'm like, okay, like I'm going to save because there's going to be something I want to spend on.

4:19Right. And I agree with you. Like you don't want to live your life, not living it and not enjoying it. But at the same time, you want to know where your money's going so you don't end up in a position in the future where you can't go after what you love. What would you say are the three questions around money everyone should have with their partner that they're looking to get married to? How did your parents spend money? So much of this, right? Like my parents, I think, you know, spent money differently than Nick or other people's parents that I know. Everyone's very different in this, right? It just depends on your situation, obviously, and what your income level is, right?

4:53Two is what are your dreams? Like if If you were rich in the world, like, what do you want? Knowing what you're dreaming towards of like the life, pretend money wasn't a constraint, what's like the most lavish life you would want? Because I think it's so important to know what that is because a lavish life to someone could be like, I want to go to Bali and travel all the time. And for someone else could be like, I just want to work all the time and like be in my house. I mean, one of my favorite things like with me and Nick, it's like, we both love working. So we would travel, but we're those two people like on our computers, like working, we'll go out and then we'll keep working.

5:23And like that works for us because, But I literally was like, wow, if I was with someone who didn't want to go back and work or just wanted to just travel without working, like it would not work for us. Just relaxing all day doesn't work for you. It just doesn't. I mean, sometimes it works for me for sure. But you know what I mean? It's like finding someone who's on the same wavelength. And then third, I think it comes down to knowing what parts of, I would say, your expenses either are something that you can let go of or that you would either want to expend more on. And I know like that's a bit more of a deeper exercise.

5:53but knowing, like I said, knowing that like cars were important to Nick and then dance was, or being like, okay, like food's really important to you. But like, if you're not matched on a lot of those, like you're just going to spend in a crazy way. So it's really knowing what parts of the budget are important to one another. We don't remember that the last year of our lives or like where we are today comes from who we were. And it's so important to just kind of know what we're feeling today, you need a center. Where are you starting from? And so the first step in the process is I ask everyone to always reflect, right?

6:25And I do that to myself. I reflect back on what has my life been recently? What are like the words, right? Is it like anxiety? Is it balanced? Is it good stuff? Is it bad stuff? Like what are the words that keep surrounding my brain defining what I am today? Then I ask people to dream because it's the same thing. It's about knowing what words and emotions and thoughts. I really like not anchoring on accomplishments and achievements, which is like usually what we do. Like we'll be like, oh, in this last year, I got a raise and I got married. And it's really just like, what did I feel in this last year?

6:57Did you feel joyful, abundant, healthy, alive? Why is the feelings and the energy of what you felt more important than the accomplishments? I mean, at the end of the day, that's what makes you happy. It's not some sort of thing you checked off, which came. It's the journey of getting there, hopefully. Our emotions are important to listen to, you know, especially like I think we forget how important they are to everything we do. The instincts that they give us, the importance of them in every part of who we are and ultimately drives our happiness. We tend to push them aside so much, you know, especially if we talk about things like money or, you know, these practical things.

7:34We put emotion aside a lot. But how are they not a part of your goals and checking in with who you are? When you're like, oh, here's what I want to do in the new year, if you don't check in with yourself on where you are today, right? And you're just measuring yourself by these big things, you have actually no idea where you even want to go as a human. So you make decisions based on emotions? You know if a certain emotion was prevalent, right? So it really comes down to like, did you feel happy this whole year? Or did you feel lonely this whole year? Like what was like the prevalent emotion, right?

8:08Not the moment to moment emotion. It's not that moment, right? Right. And that's why it's really about reflecting on the whole year and saying, OK, here's what I predominantly felt throughout the year. And then the next step is pretend it's a year from now and you were looking back on the year. What words would you have hoped you said? So it's kind of doing the same exercise. And what would you want to have said about your year? What few words do you hope are the prevalent words going through your mind through that year? And so now we're not anchoring ourselves on like, I'm going to run a marathon or I'm going to get a raise.

8:38You're anchoring yourselves on like, hopefully great words, you know, of I want to feel abundance and I want to feel power or joy or whatever. And it could be anything, but it's about anchoring it.

8:56Thank you so much for listening to today's episode of The Daily Motivation. and I hope you have an amazing rest of your day. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to click the link in the description that will take you to the full episode of our main podcast on the School of Greatness. And if you are loving the daily motivation, please follow us over on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review over on Apple Podcasts right now. And if you want more exclusive content and ad-free listening experience, make sure to subscribe to our Greatness Plus channel on Apple Podcasts. right now. And if you want to get even more inspiration from our world-class guests and learn how to improve your life and take it to the next level, then make sure to sign up for the greatness newsletter and get it delivered right to your inbox over at greatness.com slash newsletter.

9:52Again, have an amazing day and I'll see you tomorrow with another episode of the daily motivation show.

10:07Thank you.