Feeling Lost In Life? Do This | Lisa Bilyeu

0:00We just confirmed that Andrew Huberman is coming to the Summit of Greatness along with some other amazing speakers. We've got Dr. Tara Sward, Brendon Burchard, Gabby Bernstein, Amy Purdy, and some huge entertainers and performers. Make sure to get your tickets right now. Summit of Greatness is happening September 12th and 13th here in Hollywood. I can't wait to see you there. Hi, my name is Lewis Howes, and welcome to The Daily Motivation Show.

0:38I've seen so many people get divorced in my life. And I was like, one of the things that I'm noticing is that a lot of people think that because you've got a ring on your finger that automatically things change. And I know my husband's ambitious. So why on earth, just because I'm marrying him, should that change? I know that I married an ambitious man. So when that comes to kids, what does that actually look like? So sitting with him, he was like, babe, I love you, I'll love the kids. Like if you want children, there's a part of me that really wants it. And so he said, I'd be so on board. he's like but let's be very clear I'm not the person coming home at 7 p.m.

1:10right from Monday to Friday I'm not waking up in the middle of the night he literally was like even a newborn this is this is the thing I've told Martha yeah I've told Martha I was like listen I want kids but this is going to be my mission and I'm not just saying this and it's going to change yes like you have to accept it and she's like I like that that was the way my father was so he was like so when we talk about having kids he's like you know if you want to do both business and have kids as well you have to bear in mind you know how i want to you know yeah and so he was the thing he's like i want to be present for that of course but then this is where the third question to come up all right so if you're not going to be home 7 p.m at night having dinner if you're not getting up in the middle of the night to you know do the diaper changes and all of that that's fine you've been very honest let's lay out before we have the children don't want to find out once i've had the kids that this is your you know this is how you want to be and then what happens now like on the weekends and he's like oh well of course I want to be a great father I don't I do not want to be an absent father so you know I'll make sure that I spend time with them so then I said where's time for me and you have to have that discussion right and so he was like yeah we need to talk about that and then the same for me if I'm taking care of the kids all day and it's like where's the time for him and so we just said are you okay with bump being bumped down on my priority list and so we had that discussion i said no i'm actually not okay i want to be your number one and he's like yeah i want to be a number one too is there a world where you can be each other's number one the kids can be happy and supported and you can thrive in business maybe and that's very like i think everyone needs to see what that actually looks like for them but i'm so logistical like my my that's how my mind works i'm like well where are the hours but there aren't enough hours in the day but how would you actually do that now here's the thing when i even say priority monday to friday my hours are way more prioritized between business than personal sure like i don't really see tom like we kiss each other good morning and then we like kiss each other good night or and we have business meetings during the day like that's that's our relationship interaction.

3:16We've decided that. We've cultivated it together. We've worked on it together. So the amount of hours that go towards my business versus my person, it's definitely business. Sure. But I'm so not conflicted on what is my priority that I would burn my company to the ground in a heartbeat if my husband needed me to. Sure, sure. I would, if he said, hey, look, we're starting to fracture, I would immediately stop doing my interviews. I would tell my company, the people in our company, hey, I can't be present right now. You'd pause what you need to to get back on track. Yes. So my relationship is definitely my priority.

3:50Have you seen a model of a woman who has, you know, built a massive business or impact with their business and has a healthy marriage and has children? Have you seen a model out there? I don't really know what's happening with people's marriages, right? So I can only say from the outside. And that's why Tom and I, it's like, we work so hard on our relationship, so hard. It's like, we work harder on that, I think, than we do our business. I know how hard it is from our perspective and what we're looking for in our relationship. Right, right, right, right. So I don't want to judge other people. But from the outside, the person I'm like, I need to talk to her.

4:27Like, I actually need to ask her if she's really close to her husband, Sarah Blakely. I was going to say, they're incredible. Now, I'm not saying that I don't know 100 % of how their relationship is, but it seems to me like they've figured out a model that works for them. Yeah. Which is really inspiring. Usually you see people who have family and businesses, maybe the relationship has taken a backseat. And that's not exciting to me. And I think that it's very powerful. And like you said, it seems like they're amazing. They're both individuals. It's beautiful to see these two people who can really own their own thing, what they love to do.

5:03It seems like they go and crush it and then have this beautiful family. and there's something that you said that I forgot to leave out earlier. I did process that and I decided I didn't want a nanny. That was part of my decision making. So many women do. No judgment. I think that's amazing. I grew up with au pairs in my house. And so I looked at that situation and I was like, but then I'd need someone to live in my house to help, to get up in the middle of the night and help. And I was like, that's not a lifestyle I want. And so kind of going, what's the solution? Is that a lifestyle you want?

5:31And I just was brought up with my mum was a stay-at-home mum. you know like for half of my life and then she had to go to work but when I think about how beautiful it was that my mom was standing at my school game waiting for me and so I just go what what what mom do I actually want to be I didn't want to be the type of mother that felt like I was getting pulled in two different directions and so again I only respect women that are making decisions that are right for them I just knew the important thing is don't act how everyone else is doing it do it the way you want to do it yeah I think that's great and that's the I think everything does come with a challenge, right?

6:06So really - Having kids, not having kids, better your business, not better your business. Like, where do you want to put your effort? And it was actually, who was it? Someone was on Impact Theory Tom's show and someone had said, it stuck with me forever, I mean, years. You went to a therapist to talk about your relationship. Is your goal to have a successful relationship in life? And they were like, yes. It's like, okay, if you can embrace, all relationships are going to be hard. All relationships are going to take a lot of energy. So now the question needs to be, is this the person that is worth that energy?

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7:44Again, have an amazing day, and I'll see you tomorrow with another episode of the Daily Motivation Show.

7:59Thank you.