Find Your Purpose & Achieve Anything You Want | Brené Brown EP 314

0:00Hi, my name is Lewis Howes and welcome to the Daily Motivation Show.

0:10Calling all conscious achievers who are seeking more community and connection, I've got an invitation for you. Join me at this year's Summit of Greatness this September 7th through 9th in my hometown of Columbus, Ohio to unleash your true greatness. This is the one time a year that I gather the greatness community together in person for a powerful transformative of weekend. People come from all over the world and you can expect to hear from inspiring speakers like Inky Johnson, Jospree Singh, Vanessa Van Edwards, Jen Sincero, and many more. You'll also be able to dance your heart out to live music, get your body moving with group workouts, and connect with others at our evening socials.

0:53So if you're ready to learn, heal, and grow alongside other incredible individuals in the greatness community, then you can learn more at lewishouse.com slash summit 2023. Make sure to grab your ticket, invite your friends, and I'll see you there.

1:14I didn't know who I was for a very long time. And still, I'm trying to learn who I am. Yeah, me too. You are? Yeah. But you seem like you've it all figured out. Oh, God. No, I don't. The one thing I've learned in my research above all else is that in the absence of love and belonging, there's always suffering. So when I hear about your experiences growing up, that's suffering, you know, that's real suffering. And for me, not making the drill team when I was, I think it was an eighth grade by itself is not a lot, but how my family responded to it. It was like when things changed for me and I didn't feel like I belong to my family anymore.

1:51I still am trying to figure it out. I don't know. I don't know that I've entered. I don't know that I've interviewed anyone, even spiritual leaders who have the belonging thing completely nailed, because I don't think it is what we think it is. You know, I don't think that it's having a big posse of friends or having a crew or rolling with a bunch of people. I think I'm still trying to figure it out because I still feel lonely and alone and on the outside of things on a really regular basis. Really? I mean, you're going on a book tour with thousands of people, a 15 city tour, millions of fans around the world and you still feel alone?

2:27Yeah, I can feel really lonely. Why? And it's really hard because, you know, you talk about that book tour. I'm a severely introverted. Yes. Super private. And so I love that connection between me and an audience, but it can also be hard on me. They're hard topics sometimes and we laugh and we have fun and we'll sing. What I've learned in doing the research on belonging is that belonging is being a part of something bigger than yourself, but it's also the courage to stand alone and to belong to yourself above all else. And so I think I spend a lot of time belonging to myself and sometimes that makes other people uncomfortable.

3:07And so I think that's hard. I think I do feel, I'm always looking for, I don't know about you, but I'm always looking for the roadmap. Like I want to find the researcher, storyteller, Christian, lover of all people, fighter of the resistance. I want to find the blueprint of who's ahead of me believing what I believe in and doing it really well. But there's not really a blueprint sometimes. We're all trying to figure it out. Yeah, it's still hard. But here's the thing that has changed everything for me. I belong to me. So even when I feel alone and I wonder like, who's my crew and who are my people?

3:42I belong to me for sure. For the first time in my life, maybe. Yeah. And I think we lose ourselves sometimes by trying to belong in groups that we don't fit in. Yeah. You know, I remember being in, you know, the youngest on these sports teams growing up. I was playing on the junior varsity as a freshman or the varsity or whatever. So I was the youngest. And I remember just wanting to fit in. And when they would do things that I didn't really agree with, or they would bully other kids or make fun of people, you know, I didn't want to stand against them because I wanted to belong. Yeah. So if I did stand up against them, then that means I was alone.

4:11And that was my biggest fear was being alone. No, yeah, because that's what teams and groups deliver. They deliver this thing that you're not alone. I was so shocked to learn in the research that the opposite of belonging is fitting in. Because fitting in is assessing a group of people and thinking, who do I need to be? What do I need to say? What do I need to wear? How do I need to act? And changing who you are. And true belonging never asks us to change who we are. It demands that we be who we are. If we fit in because how we've changed ourselves, that's not belonging because you betrayed yourself for other people.

4:49And that's not sustainable. You have to show up as who you are.

5:00Thank you so much for listening to today's episode of The Daily Motivation. and I hope you have an amazing rest of your day. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to click the link in the description. That will take you to the full episode of our main podcast on the School of Greatness. And if you are loving the daily motivation, please follow us over on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review over on Apple Podcasts right now. And if you want more exclusive content and ad-free listening experience, make sure to subscribe to our Greatness Plus channel on Apple Podcast right now. And if you wanna get even more inspiration from our world-class guests and learn how to improve your life and take it to the next level, then make sure to sign up for the Greatness newsletter and get it delivered right to your inbox over at greatness.com slash newsletter.

5:55Again, have an amazing day and I'll see you tomorrow with another episode of the Daily Motivation Show.

6:10Thank you.