Find Your True Purpose Today | Jenna Kutcher EP 217

0:00Hi, my name is Lewis Howes and welcome to the Daily Motivation show.

0:10I firmly believe that taking charge of your mindset allows you to be in the driver's seat of your life and unlock your potential. And that's why I'm thrilled to share that my new book is out right now. It's called The Greatness Mindset. In it, you'll learn how to build a plan for greatness through powerful exercises and toolkits designed to propel your life forward. This is the book that I wish I had 20 years ago. It's everything I've learned in the last decade with the research and the science to help you unlock your mind. Make sure to go to lewishouse.com slash 2023mindset to pick up your copy of my book, The Greatest Mindset, today.

0:51Something about Drew that used to drive me crazy that I now very much admire is his contentedness. Like, he is so content. I am driven and ambitious, and I sometimes want more. and I want to go after these things. And he has this beautiful, like this guy would just be so happy to get in a workout, mow the lawn, and give the kids a bath. Like he truly is just like grounded in that contentedness. And to me, that looked like complacency before. Drove me nuts. Because I was like, don't you want more? I just didn't understand it. Like I was just like. Yeah, you're not screaming or anything. Yeah, but yeah, it's like, what do you want for your life?

1:31And like, he was just so happy. And to me, I feared of like, oh, like, are you just not driven? Or like, what is this? And now I'm like, well, what a valuable balance for someone like me to be reminded of like, oh, this is enough. What if he was extremely driven and he was like. I think we'd be battling each other for that. If he was driven and he was like, I'm building this thing and I don't have the time to be at home as much. I'm going to be gone more. How would you navigate that? And what advice would you give to women who are driven, who have married into a driven partner, who doesn't want to be a stay-at-home dad?

2:07How would you navigate that as a mom? Something crazy about us is, like, we've never had help with our children. It's just been a personal choice of, like, we're all in on parenthood. Grandparents, though? I mean, my mom is the only person that has really, like, watched her, and it's not consistent. But we made that choice specifically for us because our values are just really like to cherish this time, this window of time where they're little is so small. These years are so important. If he was driven or had this brilliant idea or had these things, you know, honestly, I would feel a responsibility to pass the baton to him because he has supported me in exceptional ways over the years.

2:47But I think I'd be reluctant to hand it over. His role is often overlooked. And so for your listeners that are the stay-at-home parents or the people who are giving this season of life to be at home with their children or to help raise their children, it is the most overlooked and underappreciated job on planet Earth. It's crazy to me because what I do and what you've watched me do over the last few years is literally only possible because of him and his support. Because you have the support. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he cooks, he cleans, he does it all. If both people are driven, I think that there has to be a season where there are handoffs.

3:27Like I always just picture it as like a relay race where it's like I'm sprinting and you're waiting and then you're sprinting and I'm waiting. And there has to be conversations. And I think a lot of women have this deep desire for change or growth or evolution or trying something new, but they don't even know how to express it. they don't even know how to say the words. Like, I know that I've been this way for you. I know I've supported you in this way for so long, but like, I have to change. I'm going to change and I'm inviting you to enter this change with me. It might be uncomfortable. We might have to figure it out, but like, here's what I really want to do.

4:04And I mean, if you're with a partner that loves you, I would sincerely hope that they support you. Sure. I do think that a lot of relationships benefit when it's like, one person's driven and the other one kind of brings him back home to earth and i think there are seasons of trade-off with that i can pump the brakes on certain things that i know i could soar at that i know i could crush it in but i'm saying no to so many things because i trust that i can hit the brake and know where the gas pedal is the gas pedal is not going anywhere and so for the next few years things are just going to look a little different for us because i really want to be with my kids.

4:43And so a lot of people, I think, are lacking this belief in themselves of like, what's gotten me this far will carry me forward. But I don't need to believe the lie of like momentum and have that keep me on the hamster wheel. I remember the day that I hit six figures. And for me, that was a massive goal. Like six figures in one year, you brought it in. So I built a six figure photography business in three years flat. It's big. in the Midwest, it was like basically condensed to six months of shooting. I shot every weekend. I had no time off. I missed weddings. I missed time with my family. And I remember the day that I hit six figures felt like crap.

5:26Really? I was empty. I was burnt out. I remember like standing in the shower and being like, why aren't the angels singing? Where is the confetti? Because I thought this would feel different. I was just so tired. Like I was like the bone deep kind of tired. I had built this business and hit this goal and it felt terrible. And Drew came home from work and I said, I thought this was going to feel different. I'm not even enjoying the money I'm making because I have no time. And I said, I'm going to propose something that's a little crazy, but I just want to see what you think. And I made this color coded spreadsheet and sat down and I said, I was a lot happier when I made$50 ,000 a year.

6:09He said, I can't do this again. This isn't sustainable. I'm ready to chuck my camera out the window. And I said, would you support me if I said, I want to go back to making$50 ,000 a year, but I want more time? And it was really weird because I expected him to kind of be like, ugh. And he looked so relieved. It was just like, yeah, let's do it. We know we can. We know we have. If we go back to eating ramen noodles, great. so I like made a super super clear boundary and at the time I had been shooting 30 weddings and I was like I am only going to book 15 next year I'm going to say no to everything beyond that line is in the sand I'm not going to cross it because I was a yes girl I was like taught to be a good girl say yes don't disappoint people and so the next year I cut it in half and something insane happened when I did that which was not at all what I expected but when I got my time back again, when I got margin back, it was when I was creative again and curious again, started listening to podcasts, started taking online courses, started learning other things.

7:16My eyes would have never been open to any of this world if I would have stayed on the hamster wheel and just kept working more and more and more. And it was crazy because literally I went, I was like, I don't care about money. Give me back time. And when I freed up my time, I ended up figuring out ways to unlock how to make more money.

7:47Thank you so much for listening to today's episode of The Daily Motivation, and I hope you have an amazing rest of your day. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to click the link in the description. That will take you to the full episode of our main podcast on the school of greatness. And if you are loving the daily motivation, please follow us over on Apple podcast and Spotify and leave us a review over on Apple podcast right now. And if you want more exclusive content and ad free listening experience, make sure to subscribe to our greatness plus channel on Apple podcast right now. And if you want to get even more inspiration from our world class guests and learn how to improve your life and take it to the next level, then make sure to sign up for the Greatness newsletter and get it delivered right to your inbox over at greatness.com slash newsletter.

8:37Again, have an amazing day and I'll see you tomorrow with another episode of the Daily Motivation Show.