Gabby Bernstein: Work With Your Inner Child to Break FREE from Self-Destructive Patterns

0:00I have a brand new book called Make Money Easy. and if you're looking to create more financial freedom in your life, you want abundance in your life and you want to stop making money hard in your life, but you wanna make it easier, you wanna make it flow, you wanna feel abundant, then make sure to go to makemoneyeasybook.com right now and get yourself a copy. I really think this is gonna help you transform your relationship with money this moment moving forward. We have some big guests and content coming up. Make sure you're following and stay tuned to this episode of The Daily Motivation Show.

0:38Hi, my name is Lewis Howes and welcome to The Daily Motivation Show.

0:51So if you look at your life and you're saying, okay, there's parts of me that I don't like, or there's parts of me or ways I act out that feel extreme or there's behaviors that I have that I just can't kick. Addiction, overeating, drinking. And you see these things that you do, these behaviors that you have that you just don't know how to change. It's because they're very, very young parts of yourself. They've been around for a very long time. They haven't grown up yet. They never got a chance to grow up, these parts of you. And where do these parts of us live? Okay, so let me get this. Let me keep it simple.

1:26So I'm going to keep coming back to the simplicity, okay? Like I'm putting my, okay, let's keep it simple. How many parts of us does each individual have? We can have many, many parts of us. So let's keep it simple. So very young, we grow up where we come into this world. We're like these perfect little people. We're so happy. Everything's beautiful. Hopefully we enter the world in a safe, peaceful way. And from a very young age, we start to experience the burdens of the world. A parent that doesn't have a strong attachment. in the case for you and myself having sexual abuse as children. So sometimes it could be extreme traumas like that or it could be something along the lines of being bullied in the classroom or being told that you're stupid by your teacher.

2:06These moments in time are so extreme for our child brains to process. We don't have the resources. We don't have the brain capacity. and oftentimes we don't have the parents or caregivers to help us process these extreme disturbances. They don't have the tools either to teach us. Or in the case of you and me, we don't have anyone to tell. Right. Right. Or we're too afraid to tell. Yeah. Or in my case, I dissociated, didn't even have the memory. Right. And so what do we do? We build up protection mechanisms. For me, one of those protection mechanisms was straight up dissociation, like left my body like just like dissociated from reality for others it could be and this is young at a young young age you know it could be okay this thing happened to you as a child and all of a sudden you go into this extreme protection mechanism of trying to be perfect because you had this shameful experience so perfection makes you feel safe or you give my son for an example i have a six-year-old son when he was three years old he was in a montessori program and so it was three to six-year-olds there was a six-year-old in his class and he was just out of diapers and that six-year-old was sort of like you know who is this three-year-old i don't want anything to do with him i mean it was it was just like kind of bossy to him and at a very young age ollie learned like i gotta be the boss because that was so extreme this kid is bigger i want to be like him he hates me he tells me he hates me he tells me to leave him alone which is kids are mean but my little boy has this thing of i gotta be the boss so he's got this misguided belief i need to be a boss so what does he do walks around with his nerf gun you know and he walks like with his shooter and he's like, I'm the boss.

3:43This is like a little innocent six-year-old. But he wants to be the boss because he's protecting himself from that feeling from three years old, okay? I watched this whole part develop in a person. So an extreme thing happens, big or small. In the case of Ollie, it was a six-year-old, right? In the case of me, it was something much more extreme. Hopefully, Ollie never has to experience that. But whatever it is, we have extreme experiences and we exile them, we exile them. Those are called exiled parts of us. Exiled parts. These are the little, young, traumatized children that had nowhere to go, no one to care for them, no one to support them.

4:21And we said, I'm going to lock that up. We send them into the basement. Don't ever talk to that person. See that part of me ever again. And at three years old, five years old, whatever it is, we start to decide, I'm going to do this to protect myself from feeling this. So Ollie's the perfect example. I got bullied. I'm going to start to be the boss so that I never have to feel that fear again of that bully. Right. So we have we and does everyone build these defense mechanisms? Everyone. It's just they look different for each person.

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5:48Again, have an amazing day, and I'll see you tomorrow with another episode of the Daily Motivation Show.