How BODY LANGUAGE Can Help You Master CONFIDENCE | Amy Cuddy

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0:49Were you able to implement and integrate some of your own practices and teachings when you were getting, whether it be criticism or bullying or, you know, any of the stuff you were facing? where you're able to actually integrate the body language for yourself. I mean, for me, the thing that works the best for me is breathing. The relaxation response that's triggered by certain breathing patterns is incredibly effective for me. So basically, it sends your nervous system into this rest and digest state, which is the opposite of fight, flee, or faint. And so the one that I like best is called 4-7-8 breathing.

1:21So basically, for four counts, you inhale. For seven, you hold your breath. And for eight, you exhale. So I'm going to count and you do it. One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. And you repeat that a few times? Three times. Like one time you feel it. It will put me to sleep at night. You know, if I'm relaxed, it makes me sleepy. But if I'm anxious, it calms me down. There's just so much research on the relaxation response and breathing. What I think is interesting about it is that that kind of breathing is expansive. Just like what I talk about, expansive posture, that's expansive.

2:04You're breathing deeply and slowly. You're taking up more temporal space. You're expanding your physical body more. And when we expand, we tend to feel more confident, more powerful, more calm. So before these stressful situations, the ones that you approach with dread, that's when you find some space and really make yourself big. Expansive. Like whatever feels comfortable to you, expand. In front of other people, it comes across as really aggressive and domineering and off-putting. But if you're in, you know, the privacy of your own bathroom stall or office, you can do whatever you want. You don't have to worry about cultural norms or, you know, putting people off.

2:41In our everyday lives, we spend so much time like this, you know, with our phones. It's creating this sort of fixed thoracic stoop that physiotherapists used to only see in like elderly people. And now they're seeing it in like 15-year-old boys from gaming and things like that. And that's something, you can't just be like, oh, I'm going to sit up straight. You have to work that out. For years working it out and align your body. Totally. So it's not only hurting our posture, but I believe that it is affecting our mood. Even just set up your workspace so that you can be more expansive. We neglect our body language when we're alone because it's language.

3:20And if we're alone, we're not talking to anyone. We're talking to ourselves, though. We're talking to ourselves, right? You know, even if you were doing a meditative breathing technique, if you're closing your body off and breathing, you're still probably limiting yourself. Yeah. So you can be breathing and trying to relax the nervous system, but you're closing your body off. It's hard to feel like more alive and confident and calm, I'm assuming. Absolutely. Yeah. How long should we be in an expansive postural states for? You know, it's funny. I really emphasized two minutes in the TED Talk because that's what we had done in those first studies.

3:53I think actually less is more. I think that it just gets awkward. It's that silly. You feel weird, but also like your body, you get sort of stiff. I don't even think you have to be still. I think you can be moving in an expansive way. I sometimes wish that I hadn't called this power posing. It's such a sticky idea, right? It's got alliteration. It's like, you know, exactly. Great planning. Exactly. But at the same time, people got fixed on standing like Wonder Woman or in the victory pose. Being expansive is more expansive than this. Yes. In whatever way works for you. Yeah. The tighter you are, the probably less likely that you're going to perform relaxed.

4:35Right. And football training before games and in practices, they would always tell us to be loose. Yeah. To move our body, to be flexible, to be expansive, but in a loose state of mind, in a loose body. not like rigid or you can't catch the ball if you're like too tight so it's how can you be expansive confident and relaxed at the same time yeah and practicing that in life with the power pose i think is great it's interesting i learned a technique i remember feeling like i'm a nobody i'm this young kid who was just playing football i still didn't have a college degree i was 24 and going into a room with all these professionals and executives i was like why would anyone talk to me kind of had this feeling early on right and i learned from someone he said every time you walk into a door just act like you're trying to connect the top of your head to the door and just walk in oh yeah and stand like every time you see a door at any time in your life just practice you're walking you're entering a room just you don't have to put your chest all the way out like crazy but exactly shoulders back just a little bit your head just a little bit taller like you're trying to touch the top and he said walk in with a smile yeah and every time i do that i practice it just all the time now, it just makes you feel a little bit better, more courageous to actually say hi to someone.

5:45A smile, a little taller, your shoulders back just a little bit. It really helps with that. So it's something that I learned early on that helped me kind of just gain courage. In ballet, it's very much like imagining. It's like a strength, right? But another technique that I learned in ballet is you're looking at the people in the balcony and that opens you up, right? And it also makes you more aware of this interaction. And there's also kind of magic and chemistry in the interaction, right? You're not alone. The energy level picks up more and more, the more you can build that intimacy with an audience.

6:16And so by opening up to them, you're much more likely to create that intimacy.

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7:21Again, have an amazing day and I'll see you tomorrow with another episode of the Daily Motivation Show.

7:34Thank you.