How BODY LANGUAGE Can Help You Master CONFIDENCE | Amy Cuddy 266

0:00Hi, my name is Lewis Howes and welcome to the Daily Motivation show.

0:10I firmly believe that taking charge of your mindset allows you to be in the driver's seat of your life and unlock your potential. And that's why I'm thrilled to share that my new book is out right now. It's called The Greatness Mindset. In it, you'll learn how to build a plan for greatness through powerful exercises and toolkits designed to propel your life forward. This is the book that I wish I had 20 years ago. It's everything I've learned in the last decade with the research and the science to help you unlock your mind. Make sure to go to lewishouse.com slash 2023mindset to pick up your copy of my book, The Greatness Mindset, today.

0:50Were you able to implement and integrate some of your own practices and teachings when you were getting, whether it be criticism or bullying or, you know, any of the stuff you were facing? Were you able to actually integrate the body language for yourself? I mean, for me, the thing that works the best for me is breathing. The relaxation response that's triggered by certain breathing patterns is incredibly effective for me. So basically, it sends your nervous system into this rest and digest state, which is the opposite of fight, flee, or faint. And so the one that I like best is called 4-7-8 breathing.

1:23So basically, for four counts, you inhale. For seven, you hold your breath. And for eight, you exhale. So I'm going to count and you do it. One, two, three, four. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8. And you repeat that a few times? Three times. Like one time you feel it. It will put me to sleep at night. If I'm relaxed, it makes me sleepy. But if I'm anxious, it calms me down. There's just so much research on the relaxation response and breathing. What I think is interesting about it is that that kind of breathing is expansive. Just like what I talk about, expansive posture, that's expansive.

2:05You're breathing deeply and slowly. You're taking up more temporal space. You're expanding your physical body more. And when we expand, we tend to feel more confident, more powerful, more calm. So before these stressful situations, the ones that you approach with dread, that's when you find some space and really make yourself big. Expansive. Like whatever feels comfortable to you, expand. In front of other people, it comes across as really aggressive and domineering and off-putting. But if you're in the privacy of your own bathroom stall or office, you can do whatever you want. You don't have to worry about cultural norms or putting people off.

2:43In our everyday lives, we spend so much time like this with our phones. It's creating this sort of fixed thoracic stoop that physiotherapists used to only see in elderly people. and now they're seeing it in like 15 year old boys from you know gaming things like that and that's something like you can't just be like oh i'm going to sit up straight you have to like work that out for years working it out exactly align your body totally but so it's not only hurting our posture but i believe that it is affecting our mood even just set up your workspace so that you can be more expansive yes we neglect our body language when we're alone because it's language and if we're alone we're not talking to anyone we're talking to ourselves But we're talking to ourselves, right?

3:26You know, even if you were doing a meditative breathing technique, if you're closing your body off and breathing, you're still probably limiting yourself. Yeah. So you can be breathing and trying to relax the nervous system, but you're closing your body off. It's hard to feel like more alive and confident and calm, I'm assuming. Absolutely. Yeah. How long should we be in an expansive postural states for? You know, it's funny. I really emphasized two minutes in the TED Talk because that's what we had done in those first studies. I think actually less is more. I think that it just gets awkward. It's that silly.

4:00You feel weird, but also like your body, you get sort of stiff. I don't even think you have to be still. I think you can be moving in an expansive way. I sometimes wish that I hadn't called this power posing. It's such a sticky idea, right? It's got alliteration. it's like great branding exactly exactly but but at the same time people got fixed on on like standing like wonder woman or in the victory pose being expansive is more expansive than than this yes you know in whatever way works for you yeah the tighter you are the probably less likely to perform relaxed right and and football training before games and in practices they would always tell us to be loose.

4:42You know, to move our body, to be flexible, to be expansive, but in a loose state of mind and a loose body. Not like rigid or you can't catch the ball if you're like too tight. So it's how can you be expansive, confident and relaxed at the same time? Yeah. And practicing that in life with the power pose, I think is great. It's interesting, I learned a technique. Remember if you're like, I'm a nobody. I'm this young kid who was just playing football. I still didn't have a college degree. I was 24. and going into a room with all these professionals and executives. I was like, why would anyone want to talk to me?

5:14Kind of had this feeling early on. And I learned from someone, he said, every time you walk into a door, just act like you're trying to connect the top of your head to the door. And just walk in and stand. Every time you see a door, at any time in your life, just practice your walk in, you're entering a room. You don't have to put your chest all the way out like crazy. Exactly. Shoulders back just a little bit, your head just a little bit taller, like you're trying to touch the top. And he said, walk in with a smile. Yeah. And every time I do that, I practice it just all the time now. It just makes you feel a little bit better, more courageous to actually say hi to someone.

5:47A smile, a little taller, your shoulders back just a little bit. It really helps with that. So it's something that I learned early on that helped me kind of just gain courage. In ballet, it's very much like imagining that your strength is going through. But another technique that I learned in ballet is you're looking at the people in the balcony. And that opens you up. Yes. And it also makes you more aware of this interaction. And there's also kind of magic and chemistry in the interaction, right? You're not alone. The energy level picks up more and more the more you can build that intimacy with an audience.

6:18And so by opening up to them, you're much more likely to create that intimacy.

6:32Thank you so much for listening to today's episode of The Daily Motivation, and I hope you have an amazing rest of your day. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to click the link in the description. That will take you to the full episode of our main podcast on The School of Greatness. And if you are loving the daily motivation, please follow us over on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review over on Apple Podcasts right now. And if you want more exclusive content and ad-free listening experience, make sure to subscribe to our Greatness Plus channel on Apple Podcasts right now. And if you want to get even more inspiration from our world-class guests and learn how to improve your life and take it to the next level, then make sure to sign up for the Greatness newsletter and get it delivered right to your inbox over at greatness.com slash newsletter.

7:22Again, have an amazing day, and I'll see you tomorrow with another episode of the Daily Motivation Show.

7:37Thank you.