How To Break the Yo-Yo Cycle and Stop Self-Sabotaging For Good | Nir Eyal

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0:41What would be the plan in this motivation triangle from belief, behavior, and benefit to say I'm actually going to get out of obesity or lose this weight for good? What would they need to do?

0:53Nir Eyal:Well, so this is my story. First of all, I feel for anyone who's in that situation. And I still have to do this. Every day I have to think about this. It doesn't just go away. It's still a struggle. Now, I'll tell you what happened to me. That from a very young age, when I was very overweight from a young age for a long time. And what I did, starting back in the 1990s, was I would read whatever diet book was the latest fad. So it started with low fat and snack well cookies. That's what I ate all day long. Because that's how we thought we would lose weight. And then after that, I went to a vegetarian diet.

1:25Nir Eyal:It was all tofu and potatoes. And then after that came keto. And that's what I, you know, I threw out the potato and tofu and now it was all keto all day long. And then after that, I think it was intermittent fasting. And the interesting thing is every diet worked. Every diet worked. I would lose weight until it didn't. Because what would happen invariably every single time, the reason the yo-yo kept going back up and down, was that when there was a little bit of doubt, when that doubt crept in, And somebody would tell me, oh, vegetarians don't get complete nutrients or keto is bad for your kidneys or whatever.

1:55Nir Eyal:You're like, huh, is there a better way? That's right. What should I be doing? And then those limiting beliefs crept in. So that next time I said, OK, I'm going to have that piece of pizza and, you know, it's whatever. I'll have a little snack and have some pizza. How bad can it be? What would happen? It's called this is actually a real term in psychology. It's called the what the hell effect. Yeah. I've had one piece. Let me have the whole pie. Exactly. Right. Or for me, it would be, you know, let me chase it with a beer and some fries, right? What's the point? Ah, diets don't work anyway. Now I have this information that maybe the diet I was on doesn't work.

2:27Nir Eyal:Oh, no diets work. And so that became a limiting belief as opposed to the liberating belief of, okay, maybe I went off track and I had a piece of pizza when I shouldn't. Okay. But I control the next thing that enters my mouth as opposed to the what the hell effect, which was a limiting belief. And so for not just weight management, for time management, for money management, all these things, what is the core of human motivation? It's not carrots and sticks. A lot of people kind of beat themselves into submission with punishments or rewards if they do the right thing. And this blew my mind. The research now shows that it's actually not about carrots and sticks.

3:02Nir Eyal:That that's not how the brain motivates us. That in fact, the carrot is the stick. Explain that. Right. So it's like kind of like a matrix moment, right? There is no spoon. The carrot is the stick. What does that mean? That all human motivation, all human motivation is from one thing and one thing only. And that is the desire to escape discomfort. Even wanting to feel good, craving, lusting, hunger, desire itself is psychologically destabilizing. So what that means, if all human behavior is spurred by a desire to escape discomfort, That means time management is pain management. Money management is pain management.

3:44Nir Eyal:Weight management, it's all pain management. So if you can learn to manage that discomfort, you can unlock this hidden misery. Gosh, yeah. So one more time, if you can learn to manage pain or discomfort, then you can unlock essentially anything you want. That's right. In any area of life. Anything that the laws of physics don't prevent you from doing. Exactly. Because everything worth having in life, right? You know, this is on the other side of that discomfort. Yes. You want to build a great family. It's going to take hard work. You want to build a business. You know, it takes hard work. You want to get in shape.

4:16Nir Eyal:It's going to take work. Yeah. But what blew my mind is that I always separated. I'm sorry. I always, I never separated pain from suffering. What's the difference? That was always synonymous. What's the difference between pain and suffering? So pain is just a signal. Where does pain happen? Where does pain occur? Is pain here? Is pain here? It's the mind, right? Always in the mind. It's always in the mind. Where else could it be? If you break your arm, the pain isn't here. The pain is registering in your brain. Where else could it be? Doesn't mean it's not real. All pain is real. But the suffering occurs up here.

4:52Nir Eyal:For example, let's say, Lewis, that right now, all of a sudden, your heart started beating very quickly. You were short of breath, dry mouth. Something would be terribly wrong. You would have to go to the ER immediately. But if you had the same physiological sensations while you're on a run or in the gym, that's great. Now you have a positive perception of that same exact physiological response. And so pain is just a signal. Suffering is the interpretation of that signal. What does that mean? It means that we can shape how we experience that pain. It doesn't necessarily have to be suffering based on our beliefs.

5:33I have a brand new book called Make Money Easy. And if you're looking to create more financial freedom in your life, you want abundance in your life, and you want to stop making money hard in your life, but you want to make it easier, you want to make it flow, you want to feel abundant, then make sure to go to makemoneyeasybook.com right now and get yourself a copy. I really think this is going to help you transform your relationship with money this moment moving forward. We have some big guests and content coming up. Make sure you're following and stay tuned to this episode of The Daily Motivation Show.

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7:04Again, have an amazing day and I'll see you tomorrow with another episode of the Daily Motivation Show.

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