How To Build Habits That You’ll Actually Stick To | EP 844

0:00Hi, my name is Lewis Howes, and welcome to The Daily Motivation Show.

0:12If you feel like you're not living your most authentic life, not leaning into your purpose, and not living the life that your future self would be extremely proud of, I've written a new book called The Greatness Mindset, and I think you're going to love this. Through powerful stories, science-backed strategies, and step-by-step guidance, The Greatness Mindset will help you overcome all the different challenges in your life to design the life of your dreams and then turn it into your reality. Make sure to click the link in the description to get your copy today. Everyone comes into my habit programs with this laundry list of things they need to fix about themselves.

0:46And that's not how I look at it, but the way that if you want to be effective actually creating them is one at a time. I kind of like knock down one domino that's going to start to create that domino effect. So what's the one habit that would start to help make the rest of them easier? So for some people, it really doesn't matter. They'll get too caught up in that and they'll be like, I need to start with meditation. If that is actually too hard for you at the moment, you just can't be with that, maybe it's going for a walk. If finances just completely shuts you down and you're like, I'm going to do finances first, and then you notice six months go by and you haven't done any finances and you haven't done any other stuff either, that's probably not the one to start with.

1:26Because sometimes it's just too... Too much. You know, we've been given all kinds of messages about finances as kids or some people have. And it's just like it just brings all this kind of baggage. For others, health habits bring a ton of baggage where that's not the place to start for them. So it's really like individual. And I would say, what's the one that feels like it would actually make a big impact with a small effort? So for some people, that financial one might be too big of an effort. Sure. So get to that soon. But maybe it's going out for a walk. You know, like that makes me just feel like I'm doing something in my day.

1:59I feel a little bit more energetic, taking out a little bit of stress. Maybe that'll help me to be able to do the rest of them. Right. You know, it doesn't have to be that. You know, it could be, you know, clean up my mess a little bit in the morning. And that makes me feel like, you know, kind of like that homework example. If I can clean up my mess a little bit, I'll be a little bit more focused. Sure. Maybe it's starting with like a short to-do list of three items, right? Like that's maybe my habit. just like most important tasks, right? Just that'll be enough to have me be more focused during the day.

2:30So whichever one you choose, I really like simple habits that you can do in 10 minutes or less, even two minutes to start with, and do the simplest, the most, the MVP version of that, right? The simplest version. And if you want to just start with two minutes of walking, it sounds so silly. When I started running, I eventually ran an ultra marathon, but when I started, it was just like, put my shoes on, get out the door. I could keep walking if I wanted to. I could go for a little bit of a jog. But I didn't have to do anything other than get my shoes on and get out the door. So we want to focus on the start.

3:03All you got to do is get that start going. And if it's meditation, all I got to do is get to my meditation cushion, sit down. So what we want to do is just encouragement, encouragement, encouragement, reward, reward, reward. You know, some people like to do a hard workout and then have a smoothie and it feels really good. It's a reward, right? Others, it's like sharing my WhatsApp group so that I can tell people about it. Post a picture on Instagram afterward. Whatever you can do to reward yourself. If you have an accountability group, three to five people, post that you did it. Give yourself a gold star, do an emoji, pat yourself on the back, feel good.

3:39Give yourself a little bit of a break and just feel like there's a celebration there. Whatever we can do to reward and encourage and make it a rewarding process. Actually, the whole thing should be rewarding. So from the beginning, as you get your shoes on, just feel the empowerment of that. Feel how you are changing your life with this one little act. And as you do it, if you're outside walking with your shoes on, you're like, look at this glorious nature. Feel rewarded by doing the habit. You know what I mean? If I'm meditating, could I really feel how I'm gifting myself with some peace? As opposed to forcing myself to be with all my hard feelings.

4:16Yes, yes. So the more we can do that, the better. If your life is totally out of order, start there. Just get some good habits under your belt. You don't have to have all of it in order. Don't set that bar. But more like, I'm starting to get my life in order, starting to take care of myself and my life. Once you've gotten a little bit of solid ground under your feet, then you can start to go towards purpose. It's okay to be doing purpose before you do habits, but I find that to be more challenging. Now, if you already have a purpose, you're like, I know what it is. I'm going to work with these underprivileged children or whatever it is, right?

4:51Like, I'm going to really work with this community. If you know what that is, great, go after that. And as you're doing it, you can see how the working on the positive habits actually supports that purpose. These habits now take on a new purpose. So I actually would support that. If you know the purpose, you're going to do all of this stuff so that you can better serve those kids. They're going to see a model of someone taking care of their lives. you're going to show up with your full open heart and like full energy. You're going to be able to focus on them rather than thinking like about all this other stuff that you've got going on.

5:23So I would say if you have purpose, go after it and then work on the habits with that purpose in mind. If you don't have that yet, you're like, I don't know what my purpose in this season is. And my whole life is out of order. I would say get some solid ground, get your neck above water. You don't have to be flying, but like your head should be above water. a little bit of breathing space. Then once you've done that, the way that I would do it through habits is, again, first of all, asking what is it that I want? What's the life I want to create? But also, who do I care about? Who do I want to serve?

5:55What are my gifts that I could bring? Now, the problem with that is people can get stuck in that place by just asking the question, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. If you get stuck there, some people, they get it like an hour later or they start brainstorming and they put up this big wall and it's amazing. And they're like, okay, got it. It's one of these two things. And they've got something to move towards. But other people, they get stuck in, I don't know. And then they'll just stop because I don't know is like the final answer. But it's actually just the start. As my coach Adam says, like it's a starting point.

6:30So we don't, I don't know means like you can really dig into that I don't know. It's you're now in new territory. And so ask yourself, like, what could it be? and maybe you have like some vague answer like i think it's working with you know former athletes or whatever it is i think it's working with you know people who want to share their music online great you don't know if that's true yet the habit after that is once you have like the vaguest inkling start to take an action habit that will move you towards that people want to get some certainty before they start to move towards purpose that like self-doubt that you and i I talked about before this.

7:07It's like, I am like stopped by doubt. And so I'm not going to actually focus on this one thing. Maybe I'll focus on 20 things, maybe nothing. Just do what I already know how to do. And what I would say is you're never going to get that certainty until you start moving towards it. So get into the action habit. Don't let yourself get stuck in the, I don't know, take a shot at it. It's like somewhere in that direction. I don't know exactly what it is. And then start to build something that will actually move you towards that. And so if you want to write a book about those kids or for those kids, start writing something.

7:40You know, it might start as a blog towards that book and maybe share it with people. Maybe get some feedback. Maybe learn through the process of creating. Maybe learn what actually works and what doesn't. And maybe through this process of learning, you start to figure out what to focus on. And through this action, you're going to be getting feedback. You're going to be learning. It's a learning loop. And you're going to get clarity. and then the clarity only comes after you've done all of this. You might actually get clarity. It's like, oh, it's not this, but it's something adjacent to it. Or actually, it's not that altogether, but maybe it's this over here and then you start to build towards that.

8:14So build something, get feedback, and use a learning loop.

8:29Thank you so much for listening to today's episode of The Daily Motivation, and I hope you have an amazing rest of your day. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to click the link in the description. That will take you to the full episode of our main podcast on The School of Greatness. And if you are loving the daily motivation, please follow us over on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review over on Apple Podcasts right now. And if you want more exclusive content and ad-free listening experience, make sure to subscribe to our Greatness Plus channel on Apple Podcasts right now. And if you want to get even more inspiration from our world-class guests and learn how to improve your life and take it to the next level, then make sure to sign up for the Greatness newsletter and get it delivered right to your inbox over at greatness.com slash newsletter.

9:19Again, have an amazing day, and I'll see you tomorrow with another episode of the Daily Motivation Show.

9:35Thank you.