How To Build Long-Lasting Love In Your Relationships | Craig Groeschel EP 234

0:00Hi, my name is Lewis Howes and welcome to the Daily Motivation show.

0:10I firmly believe that taking charge of your mindset allows you to be in the driver's seat of your life and unlock your potential. And that's why I'm thrilled to share that my new book is out right now. It's called The Greatness Mindset. In it, you'll learn how to build a plan for greatness through powerful exercises and toolkits designed to propel your life forward. This is the book that I wish I had 20 years ago. It's everything I've learned in the last decade with the research and the science to help you unlock your mind. Make sure to go to lewishouse.com slash 2023mindset to pick up your copy of my book, The Greatness Mindset, today.

0:53What do you feel like is the thing every man should give to their wife more? that would bring more joy, peace, and love to the relationship, and every woman should bring to their husband more that would create more peace, love, respect, and abundance. It's a great question from someone who's dating right now. Exactly. That's a great question. So I would say, first way I would say is what we want to do is find what is their love language, and we want to love them in that language. We don't want to love them the way we want to be loved. We want to love them the way they want to be loved. So that's the first thing.

1:30The second thing is that women generally want to know, do you love, cherish, and value me today? So they want love, cherish, and value. What a man usually wants is some version of, do you believe in me and respect me today? Those are two different things. And so what tends to happen is a woman wants to be loved, cherished, and valued, so she wants to love, cherish, and value her husband and kind of that more intimate. and a guy wants to be respected and admired. And so he may say, you look beautiful, kind of admire her looks or whatever. And at some point she's like, I wanna be more than just a physical person to you.

2:09I wanna be an emotional person. And so I would say, what I wanna do for Amy is I want to love, cherish her and value her. And then the way she loves me is more the belief in me, and to admire. And so I tend to think that your spouse is often becoming more of what you see in them and say about them. If you see greatness and speak greatness. And so if you don't like what you're getting in a relationship, you need to look at what you're giving. True. And so we're either investing in and helping someone become more or we're tearing down and becoming less. And if I give her affection, give her the words that build her up, love her in her language, and she gets back to me, then it starts compounding.

3:00Absolutely. It's not perfect by any means. Sure, sure. But it becomes rich and meaningful, and then you can endure the hard times. If I'm tearing her down, she's telling me, you're nothing, whatever, I wish you were something like so-and-so. It robs me of confidence, it robs me of intimacy, and it spirals in the wrong way. I love that. I'm really careful about the words I use in my relationship with Martha. I don't think I, I don't know if I'm ever critical of her. And I think I was telling you off camera, I was like, once I decided I'm going to be committed to you, I'm going to accept you for who you are.

3:32So why would I be critical of things if I'm accepting of you? right and that doesn't mean i won't give her um an opinion if she asked for it and sometimes i'll say hey listen would you like some a suggestion about what i'm noticing that's happening right now some suggestions some feedback only if you're open to it but i'm not going to be yeah because i don't want someone to be like you need to stop doing this this and this is because i'm not going to receive that well see if i want the feedback first right maybe encourage some good things in me first and then, you know, and then be like, Hey, but this one thing you're doing over here, you know, I see it maybe affecting you.

4:10You may want to take a look at it. That's brilliant. You know what I mean? Yeah. And, and what you're doing is, is you're, you're, you're working on your relationship. I call it working on it in non-conflict times. Yes. So not at 2am when you're tired. And what you're doing is brilliant too. So here's, here's what we've learned to do is, is we'll, we're, uh, it's evening time. The kids are in bed and we'll have kind of a marriage checkup. And so I'll say, what are three things that I'm doing that are blessing you? And what's one suggestion of a way I could love you better? So what does that do?

4:40Three things. She'll often tell me things that I'm doing that are not what I thought were blessing. I'm like, I just walked you flowers. She didn't really care. But I helped go spend time with her with the grandkids. She cared about that. So it helps me know what are the three things. And then there's three things. And then what's one way I could love you better? Not one way I'm horrible at, but one way I'm positive. Yes. But then she gets to, after affirming me, give me something that really might be a complaint. That's good. It really bothers me when you do this, but it's framed. And so then.

5:10I like that. And then we do it both ways. And we've had so, we've learned so much. I like that a lot. We've learned it so much.

5:20Thank you so much for listening to today's episode of The Daily Motivation. and I hope you have an amazing rest of your day. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to click the link in the description that will take you to the full episode of our main podcast on the School of Greatness. And if you are loving the daily motivation, please follow us over on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review over on Apple Podcasts right now. And if you want more exclusive content and ad-free listening experience, make sure to subscribe to our Greatness Plus channel on Apple Podcasts. right now. And if you want to get even more inspiration from our world-class guests and learn how to improve your life and take it to the next level, then make sure to sign up for the Greatness newsletter and get it delivered right to your inbox over at greatness.com slash newsletter.

6:10Again, have an amazing day and I'll see you tomorrow with another episode of the Daily Motivation Show.

6:25Thank you.