How To Build Real Confidence With A Bridge Identity | Dr. Kim Foster

0:00Hey, Chicagoland, the Wayfair store is in your neighborhood at Eden's Plaza and Wilmette. Finally, you can feel the fabric, sit on the sectionals, and even open the refrigerators. Plus, our in-store designers will help you bring it all together with free one-on-one design support for any project on any budget. Yep, we said free. Oh, and did we mention the cafe? So what are you waiting for? Come see all that's in store. Visit the Wayfair store today at Eden's Plaza and Wilmette.

0:27Dr. Kim Foster:Wayfair, every style, every home. Hi, my name is Lewis Howes and welcome to the Daily Motivation Show.

0:41How does someone actually change their identity and how quick can you change your identity? Does it take months, years, decades, or can you change your identity in a moment? Yeah, this is a great question. And this is the key because it sounds really simple. Just change your identity. Just decide to be somebody different. And you can make that decision quickly and overnight once you become aware. And really, that's kind of that is a big key is becoming aware, because like I said, most people just report these identity statements like it's just fact. Once you become aware of it and once you realize that you want to change and adopt a new, more empowering identity, you can make that decision right away.

1:23But it's the stabilization that takes a while. And that process requires proof. so your mind because this is why it is this is one of the key reasons why it's so hard to change identities because up until this point your brain has had a whole lot of evidence that you are this kind of person so um you know let's say that you you are you don't feel very confident you want to because it's not just health right of course this applies to so many different realms um you want to be socially confident, but you've always identified yourself as really awkward. Introverted, shy. Introverted, shy. Yes, that was me as a kid.

2:03But so you can decide that you want that, but your brain has got so much evidence to the contrary. So you can look at yourself in the mirror and say, I'm very confident, but your mind is like interesting based on what? There's no evidence yet. No evidence. So it's like one day at a time. So you need to start to gather proof. You need to start to log actual evidence that you can do things in a different way. However, it can be very difficult if you just try to leap straight from like, I'm super awkward and shy. To confident. To I am like a socially confident social butterfly. That's just, and your brain is just going to reject that completely.

2:42And that's often why affirmations like big grandiose affirmations do not work for people. But if you can choose what I call a bridge identity. Bridge identity. Bridge identity, yeah. So something that is, it's a bit of a stretch, but it's not the full way. It's one step away. So if you're, let's go back to the socially confident. So instead of saying, I'm super socially confident in all environments, it could be, I'm somebody who is embracing the challenge of starting one new conversation each day. I'm somebody who can start up a conversation even when I feel uncomfortable or something like that.

3:21Right. Like it's it's just one little step off of and it's believable, but it's also a stretch. And then you go out and gather some proof for that. So then you put yourself into a situation and you just do that one little action, even though it feels really uncomfortable. And then you have to to really make that pay attention to that piece of action and so that you can internalize it and say, OK, that's what I did. I may I kept that promise to myself. And then you keep going. And you call that the stabilization time. Yeah, that's that's when you have to you're stabilizing the identity so that it actually becomes real to you and so that your mind actually starts to believe it.

4:06and importantly believes it even when some contrary evidence shows up like even when maybe something didn't go so great that you wanted it to because that's another key is that when you have a particular identity of yourself as somebody in particular and then um you know something happens that is in accordance with that you're like see not me right so like it goes back to the old belief. It goes back to the old belief. Yeah, I knew that I wasn't somebody who could do that. That's whatever. But it's when you have an identity that is upgraded from that, those contrary pieces of evidence, you can still have a bad day, you can still skip a run, but it doesn't shake who you actually fundamentally believe yourself to be.

4:55If you still believe yourself to be a runner, it rains, you decide not to go. It doesn't mean you're not a runner anymore. It just means that you just decided to give yourself a break that one day. But somebody who doesn't think of themselves as a runner is going to be like, oh, yeah, see, I skipped that run. I knew that it wasn't for me. I knew that's never been me anyway. She calls the bridge. Yeah, bridge identities. Bridge identities.

5:24I have a brand new book called Make Money Easy. and if you're looking to create more financial freedom in your life, you want abundance in your life and you want to stop making money hard in your life, but you wanna make it easier, you wanna make it flow, you wanna feel abundant, then make sure to go to makemoneyeasybook.com right now and get yourself a copy. I really think this is gonna help you transform your relationship with money this moment moving forward. We have some big guests and content coming up. Make sure you're following and thanks for tuning in to this episode of The Daily Motivation Show.

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6:58Again, have an amazing day, and I'll see you tomorrow with another episode of the Daily Motivation Show.

7:09Hey, Chicagoland. The Wayfair store is in your neighborhood at Edens Plaza in Wilmette. Finally, you can feel the fabric, sit on the sectionals, and even open the refrigerators. Plus, our in-store designers will help you bring it all together with free one-on-one design support for any project on any budget. Yep, we said free. Oh, and did we mention the cafe? So what are you waiting for? Come see all that's in store. Visit the Wayfair store today at Edens Plaza in Wilmette.