How to Cultivate MEANINGFUL Friendships | Zane Lowe

0:00Hi, my name is Lewis Howes and welcome to the Daily Motivation Show.

0:14The thing is, when you get to a place when you're trying to get as inside the human experience as possible, right? Whether it's through music or... You cover such a broad spectrum of people's interests and things that affect the world. It's hard for it to not sometimes tap into something you're going through. And so it's just knowing when you want to allow yourself to go there. And I mean, you must feel this too. Oh, man. I mean, even you just sharing that story about your mom, how long has that been happening for? You know, the symptoms came on about four years ago. Maybe we started to notice, but in 2019, it became quite evident.

0:49And then we were still traveling around. I was taking her on road trips. And I flew home to New Zealand for one night to take her to U2 because she couldn't really go on her own. And so I wanted to give her, she said that was her favorite band. I wanted to give her that experience. She had a great night. and then quarantine kicked in and that was that. And the next time I saw her, everything had changed, you know, because I think it's pretty well established that quarantine and isolation was not good for those who were dealing with cognitive issues. Right. Isolation is not. It's tricky. You need the stimulation.

1:16Yeah, I mean, I have a story that's close to the heart for me. My father actually got in a car accident in New Zealand and had a severe brain trauma. And they had to cut the car open. uh they helicoptered him to a hospital in Christchurch yeah and uh for 17 years was alive but not emotionally mentally here so there wasn't dementia but it was a brain trauma where every time I would see him it's like where'd you go to school again he could speak and have a conversation but he didn't have memory um and he emotionally and mentally wasn't the same human being there were moments of that humor and like some of the personality, but it was almost like he was a different human being.

2:03So this is, this was close to home for me. He passed away a year, a little over a year ago. And for 17 years, it was almost like, again, he was, he was alive, but emotionally gone, mentally gone. And so I wasn't able to fully grieve the loss of my father as I knew him because he was still physically here. And it's been a journey of grieving and almost feeling closer to him now that he's physically not here because I don't have that struggle and barrier anymore. And so I, you know, it's close to my heart with this. I can relate to that in my own way. It's about investment, right? It's the time and the energy you put into whatever's changing, whatever's going on around you that allows you to try to get as much out of it as possible.

2:54Absolutely, man. And my brother and I often talk about the times we spend with mom, even though sometimes it's really hard to kind of feel that we can even be present for her. It's challenging. But even when we just leave and we go have a beer, we just toast and say, man, she's bringing us together. She's still giving us reasons to stay together and to come together and to talk and to process and to work things through. and so I yeah I that's a really really that's a hard one and I'm it's tricky that he moved on but it was tricky and it was it was challenging because it was for the first four or five years was like I thought he was gonna get better and it just didn't really happen I mean maybe moments of it but he was never able to get back to a fraction of who he was his personality and his energy and his intellectual he just didn't have it anymore because of the brain trauma so I can I ask you a question yeah yep so if you sort of take a look at the overall experience of that era of your relationship with your father from from the moment that he was who you knew him to be versus who he became what did you learn about life in its most kind of oh man micro micro potent way the the challenge is i had to learn how to hold like two things in my hands at the same time like extreme sadness, pain, and agony, but also like the beauty that comes from that.

4:20And there's no way that I would be where I'm at without that accident happening. Because in a lot of ways, I didn't have the emotional courage because my father was able to support me emotionally, mentally, sometimes financially. I was in college, right? So it's not like I had a career and I was doing my thing. He was kind of like, okay, if things don't work out, I can go work with my dad, you know what I mean? And he'll make sure that I'm taken care of and I'll get paid and have a job. So when he was not able to support me in any way, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, financially, it was like, oh, I need to become something greater.

4:57I need to figure out life. And I don't have him to make sure that I'm taken care of. And there were so many other tragic things around it. It was just all tragic. I don't think there was anything good about this situation. but who I became and I just cared deeply about human beings and the human condition and human psychology. And it's one of the reasons why I started this show was because I was just fascinated by humans and I knew I needed a lot to learn myself. And so I wanted to find the greatest mentors that I could because I didn't have my mentor anymore to learn from, to soak it in. And I was doing this for four or five years before I started this show.

5:39And I was getting so much value from these conversations that I was like, I need to record these and just put them out there. So there is beauty for me from what I had overcome and learn and who I became in this journey of that accident. But it was also extreme sadness and loss and tragedy. Did you ever hear or see Colbert, the two-minute piece, where he talks about loving life and loving all of it? Yeah, he gets emotional. So that would be the third example of that for me was when I sat with Fred again and he played me his reworked version of that speech with just some really beautiful drones that Eno influenced him.

6:21He's a prodigy of Eno and just these beautiful, very delicate drones and played that speech. And that was saying what you're saying, which is the idea of like, you know, we're always one step behind change, but it's what do you do with it? And how do you apply it? Man, we are so fragile as a species.

6:53I have a brand new book called Make Money Easy. And if you're looking to create more financial freedom in your life, you want abundance in your life, and you want to stop making money hard in your life, but you want to make it easier, you want to make it flow, you want to feel abundant, then make sure to go to makemoneyeasybook.com right now and get yourself a copy. I really think this is gonna help you transform your relationship with money this moment moving forward. We have some big guests and content coming up. Make sure you're following. And thank you for listening to this episode of the Daily Motivation Show.

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8:26Again, have an amazing day, and I'll see you tomorrow with another episode of the Daily Motivation Show.