How to Cultivate MEANINGFUL Friendships | Zane Lowe EP 333

0:00Hi, my name is Lewis Howes and welcome to the Daily Motivation Show.

0:10Calling all conscious achievers who are seeking more community and connection, I've got an invitation for you. Join me at this year's Summit of Greatness this September 7th through 9th in my hometown of Columbus, Ohio, to unleash your true greatness. This is the one time a year that I gather the greatness community together in person for a powerful, transformative weekend. People come from all over the world and you can expect to hear from inspiring speakers like Inky Johnson, Jospree Singh, Vanessa Van Edwards, Jen Sincero, and many more. You'll also be able to dance your heart out to live music, get your body moving with group workouts, and connect with others at our evening socials.

0:53So if you're ready to learn, heal, and grow alongside other incredible individuals in the greatness community, then you can learn more at lewishouse.com slash summit 2023. Make sure to grab your ticket, invite your friends, and I'll see you there.

1:15The thing is, when you get to a place where you're trying to get as inside the human experience as possible, right? Whether it's through music or you cover such a broad spectrum of people's interests and things that affect the world um it's hard for it to not sometimes tap into something you're going through and so it's just knowing when you want to allow yourself to go there and i mean you must feel this too oh man i mean even you just sharing that story about your your mom how long has that been happening for you know we the the symptoms came on about four years ago maybe we start to notice but um in 2019 it became quite evident and then we um but we were still traveling around i was taking her on road trips and i flew home to new zealand for one night to take it to you too because she couldn't really go on her own and so i wanted to give her that was her favorite band i want to give her that experience she had a great night and then quarantine kicked in and that was that and the next time i saw her everything had changed you know because i think it's pretty well established that quarantine and and isolation was not good for those who are dealing with cognitive issues and this isolation is not it's tricky you need the stimulation yeah man yeah i mean i have a story that's close to the heart for me my father actually uh got in a car accident in New Zealand and had a severe brain trauma and they had to cut the car open.

2:30They helicoptered him to a hospital in Christchurch and for 17 years was alive, but not emotionally mentally here. So there wasn't dementia, but it was a brain trauma where every time I would see him, it's like, where'd you go to school again? He could speak and have a conversation, but he didn't have memory. and he emotionally and mentally wasn't the same human being. There were moments of that humor and like some of the personality, but it was almost like he was a different human being. So this was close to home for me. He passed away a little over a year ago. And for 17 years, it was almost like, again, he was alive but emotionally gone, mentally gone.

3:17And so I wasn't able to fully grieve the loss of my father as I knew him because he was still physically here. And it's been a journey of grieving and almost feeling closer to him now that he's physically not here because I don't have that struggle and barrier anymore. And so I, you know, it's close to my heart with this. I can relate to that in my own way. It's about investment, right? It's the time and the energy you put into whatever's changing, whatever's going on around you that allows you to try to get as much out of it as possible. Absolutely, man. And my brother and I often talk about the times we spend with mom, even though sometimes it's really hard to kind of feel that we can even be present for her.

4:05It's challenging. But even when we just leave and we go have a beer, we just toast and say, man, she's bringing us together. She's still giving us reasons to stay together and to come together and to talk and to process and to work things through. and so I yeah I that's a really really that's a hard one and I'm it's tricky that he moved on but it was tricky and it was it was challenging because it was for the first four or five years was like I thought he was gonna get better and it just didn't really happen I mean maybe moments of it but he was never able to get back to a fraction of who he was his personality and his energy and his intellectual he just didn't have it anymore because of the brain trauma so I can I ask you a question yeah yep so if you sort of take a look at the overall experience of that era of your relationship with your father from from the moment that he was who you knew him to be versus who he became what did you learn about life in its most kind of oh man micro micro potent way the the challenge is i had to learn how to hold like two things in my hands at the same time like extreme sadness, pain, and agony, but also like the beauty that comes from that.

5:22And there's no way that I would be where I'm at without that accident happening. Because in a lot of ways, I didn't have the emotional courage because my father was able to support me emotionally, mentally, sometimes financially. I was in college, right? So it's not like I had a career and I was doing my thing. He was kind of like, okay, if things don't work out, like I can go work with my dad. You know what I mean? And he'll make sure that I'm taken care of and I'll get paid and have a job. So when he was not able to support me in any way, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, financially, it was like, oh, I need to become something greater.

5:59I need to figure out life. And I don't have him to make sure that I'm taken care of. And there were so many other tragic things around it. It was just all tragic. I don't think there was anything good about this situation. but who I became. And I, I just cared deeply about human beings and the human condition and human psychology. And it's one of the reasons why I started this show was because I was just fascinated by humans and I knew I needed a lot to learn myself. And so I wanted to find the greatest mentors that I could, because I didn't have my mentor anymore to learn from, to soak it in.

6:37And I was doing this for four or five years before I started this show. And I was getting so much value from these conversations that I was like, I need to record these and just put them out there. So there was beauty for me from what I had overcome and learn and who I became in this journey of that accident. But it was also extreme sadness and loss and tragedy. Did you ever hear or see Colbert, the two-minute piece, where he talks about loving life and loving all of it. Yeah, he gets emotional. See, that would be the third example of that for me was when I sat with Fred again and he played me his reworked version of that speech with just some really beautiful drones that Eno influenced him.

7:22He's a prodigy of Eno and just these beautiful, very delicate drones and played that speech. And that was saying what you're saying, which is the idea of like, You know, we're always one step behind change, but it's what do you do with it? And how do you apply it? Man, we are so fragile as a species.

7:53Thank you so much for listening to today's episode of The Daily Motivation, and I hope you have an amazing rest of your day. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to click the link in the description. that will take you to the full episode of our main podcast on the School of Greatness. And if you are loving the daily motivation, please follow us over on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review over on Apple Podcasts right now. And if you want more exclusive content and ad-free listening experience, make sure to subscribe to our Greatness Plus channel on Apple Podcasts right now. And if you want to get even more inspiration from our world-class guests and learn how to improve your life and take it to the next level, then make sure to sign up for the Greatness newsletter and get it delivered right to your inbox over at greatness.com slash newsletter.

8:48Again, have an amazing day and I'll see you tomorrow with another episode of the Daily Motivation Show.