How To Escape The Hustle Trap And Unlock Success | David Bayer

0:00How's the new place? Get your Wi-Fi figured out? I got T-Mobile 5G home internet and I'm loving it. It's the fastest 5G home internet. My old provider was so slow. Mine is slow. And only 35 bucks a month. Do I need to try this? Try it for 15 days. Love it or get your money back. I love it already. There are over 250 reasons to join T-Mobile. Find yours and check availability at t-mobile.com slash home internet. That's this according to Oculus V test intelligence. Date a second half of 2025. All rates reserved for T-Money back guarantee within 30 days of cancellation. Hi, my name is Lewis Howes and welcome to the Daily Motivation Show.

0:41What would you say then is the number one habit that most people are living and living by on a daily basis that they think is positive but is actually harming them in some way with their energy or their frequency to creating more? if we like focus that question on high performance because i know there's a lot of high performers that listen to the show you're a high performer let's look at a bad equation it's desire plus hustle and grind equals desired result right it's desire plus sacrifice your health and relationships for success equals desired result and so and that's reinforced by a lot of um hustle culture i mean you can throw a stone and find it on youtube or instagram it's like you know if you're not working somewhere someone is and when you meet them they will win and like I'm like okay well maybe but probably not because Christ said my yoke is easy right so like there's got to be an easier way there's got to be prosperity and abundance and possibility available for all of us and so that was a big part of what I'm still down regulating my nervous system towards right is this idea of like no I just need to be do more or there's not enough time people are living in time scarcity all the time.

1:55Like you can't even breathe. Again, going back to what I have come to learn is like, no, my, I don't need to hustle grind. I don't need to find more time. I don't need to do anything that would insert itself into that desire plus other than non-resistance. And everything that shows up in that space that is not non-resistance is the resistance that needs to be worked on. What would you say is the number one limiting belief of most people then? I'm not enough. Yeah, being not good enough. And it makes sense when you look at what happened when we were children. So, you know, you've got beautiful eight-month-old daughters.

2:32I've got a three-and-a-half-year-old. What I see in my son is his expectation, rightfully so, of unconditional love from me. So we all expected unconditional love from our parents. But I don't care who your parent was, how good they were, and there are plenty that, you know, weren't great on paper. But your parents are never going to have unconditional love for you. They're conditional, right? You have the condition of your career. You have the condition of your relationship with your spouse. You have the condition of being a single mom or a single dad. You have the condition of your own trauma.

3:07You have the condition of so many things. So there are always going to be times when a child expects the parent to be present for them and the parent is absent because of conditionality. In that absence, the child subconsciously believes it has something to do with them. And so that is why we find I am not enough or I'm not good enough everywhere because it happened to all of us. And this has become one of my passions, like really understanding the structure of reality and the structure, sort of like a metaphysical version of Joseph Campbell's hero's journey. Like what's really happening here?

3:42Because if reality is loving, how do we explain all of these things that seem to be absent of love? So how do you explain it? My own experience and what I've seen consistently with other people is that that not being enough creates a compensation, which we talked about before, that becomes your personality. And so you embark upon this journey with a nervous system that... To prove or to... To prove or to please or to whatever. Yeah. And what seems to happen is that compensation that comes out of feeling like you weren't enough, which is your personality, works for a while. It's a good strategy.

4:20Yeah, it's a strategy. And it has strengths. It has gifts. But also remember, it is a neurology. It's a nervous system. And so as it works, it starts to be applied into more and more areas of your life. And what happens is at about 40 years old, there's this emergence of what we would call the core program. It's between 40 and 60 where people would describe it as, I don't understand the thing that I've always been good at that got me to where I am is starting to be the thing that's suffocating me. Making me a prisoner. That's the core program. Yeah. It's a overdevelopment of that neurology. And that will bring you to your knees.

5:01So people have their long dark night of the soul or they hit their bottom. It doesn't have to be with drugs or alcohol. It's like, I just can't keep pleasing people. I've given no time for myself. And so now, um, the aspects of myself or my health are starting to degrade or someone has built up this personality that is, I'm the one who's able to bring order to chaos, but now there's so much chaos that chaos just beats them down. And in that beat down, which again is a by-product of this overdeveloped aspect of your nervous system, you are incapable of solving it on your own. So it doesn't matter what great personal development tool that you have.

5:40It doesn't matter what pills or potions you take. It doesn't matter what shaman you find with a great playlist. None of it works because that is meant to actually bring you back into relationship with the higher power of your own understanding so that you can finally experience the unconditional love that is there for you, but was never meant to be given to you by your parents. And what's beautiful about that is when you reach that inflection point and you start to find that unconditional love, the next natural step is to forgive your parents. Because it was our misunderstanding. Understandably so, right?

6:15We were kids. Trying to survive. But it was our misunderstanding.

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