How To HEAL Your Past & Overcome NEGATIVE Thoughts | Ed Mylett EP 452

0:28I am so grateful for you. community. All you have to do is go to lewishouse.com slash giveaway. And that's where you'll get all the details about how you can be a winner. And again, we're choosing winners every single day for 10 straight days. 10 days of greatness is my way of saying thank you for a decade of greatness. So what are you waiting for? Head to lewishouse.com slash giveaway and enter the giveaway right now. Hi, my name is Lewis Howes and welcome to The Daily Motivation Show.

1:09There's probably nothing that you regret that you would change differently in your past about situations because it's made you who you are. Let's just say you were going back to before you got married. Is there anything that you would do differently about emotions, connection, intimacy, receiving, giving love? Is there anything you'd change? Tons. The biggest one is my lack of presence. Really? I was always in the future, which is a good place to be. I'm not a guy who's in the past a lot. Because then you're innovating, you're resourceful, you're creating something from nothing. It's powerful.

1:40I'm not a past guy. I am a future guy. But the truth is, the best people are able to be in the future, but be present in the present time. And I didn't do that very well. There's a lot of times, man, when my kids would do things. And now Christian goes, do you remember when Bella? And I'll go, I don't remember. She goes, but you were actually there. But I wasn't. I should have given myself the gift of being more present where I was. And I do that very well now. I'm very much a present person. I know you turn your phone off after you get home and you put in your car or whatever you do. You spend 10 minutes closing things out and then you go in the house and you connect.

2:11I do, yeah. I have strategies for it because I know me. And then anger. You were angrier then? Way more. I just thought that my intensity and even what moved into anger was strength. because I saw it in my dad. Because it got results. Certain results. And I think I modeled it a little bit. My dad was a yeller before he was sober. And even a little bit after, truth be told, my dad could go to anger pretty quickly. Yeah. And I used to think that's what a man did. I've watched my dad in many physical fights. Many. Angel games. I watched my dad inside of the freeway. I watched it. We came out of church one Sunday.

2:46St. Dennis Catholic Church in Diamond Bar. Some guy said something my dad didn't like in the donut line. Oh. And we got in the car and my dad calls the guy over to the car and says, hey, what did you say? Bam, and headbutts the guy at church in the parking lot in front of all the other parishioners, right? So I think I modeled a little bit. I didn't do anything like that, but I modeled, hey, anger, men, men can do that thing. You know, don't disrespect me. You know, that whole thing. And so I had a lot of that when I was young. Like, don't, you know, I'm going to assert my authority. And as I got older, it's almost become funny to me.

3:21and what the change for me was having kids. I'm like, if someone ever spoke to my daughter or my son the way that I have talked to some of these people that have been around me. And for someone like you that knows me now, they'll be like, there's just no way, man. No, man, I really did. I really said things I regret. I really did things that were out of anger too often. And I don't like that guy. He hasn't been around for a while, but every once in a while he'll rear his head. He can be there once in a while. What makes you angry today? Anytime I see someone operating out of anger, I think they're afraid.

3:52And so for me, it's when do I get angry? I got angry today. Today is I said recently I had one of those episodes. So my show got posted today and someone on my team posted it incorrectly and it wasn't on YouTube. Oh, yeah. OK. And so my default when that happened was anger. Who did this? What happened? I know the feeling, right? Of course. But what was I really? I was afraid. I was afraid the show wouldn't do well. I was afraid it would be embarrassing. I was afraid the guest was going to be upset with me. So when I operate out of anger, it's always fear. I'm always afraid. Well, what about back in the day when you're hard on people?

4:25I was afraid I was going to be broke. I was afraid we were going to lose the business. I was afraid this situation was going to happen. I was afraid someone was going to shame me. So I'm going to get in front of it and be angry with them. So for me, anger is just a manifestation of fear. And when I see it in other people, men or women, I have empathy for them because I know they're afraid. And I really do believe that. I think anger is always a result of some type of fear.

5:13daily motivation, please follow us over on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review over on Apple Podcasts right now. And if you want more exclusive content and ad-free listening experience, make sure to subscribe to our Greatness Plus channel on Apple Podcasts right now. And if you want to get even more inspiration from our world-class guests and learn how to improve your life and take it to the next level, then make sure to sign up for the Greatness newsletter and get it delivered right to your inbox over at greatness.com slash newsletter. Again, have an amazing day, and I'll see you tomorrow with another episode of the Daily Motivation Show.