How To Let Go Of Anger And Heal The Wounds Beneath It | Kier Gaines

0:00Kier Gaines:If your child lives with type 1 diabetes, a low blood sugar is hard enough without trying to convince them to eat another chalky glucose tablet. That's where Glow Gummies come in. Delicious glucose gummies made with fast-acting dextrose to raise blood sugar quickly. In a soft gummy, they'll actually want to eat. They're vegan, gluten-free, dye-free, don't melt or stick to teeth, and taste just as good as candy. Head to GlowGummies.com, that's G-L-O-W, gummies, dot com, and use code PODCAST20 for 20 % off. Hi, my name is Lewis Howes, and welcome to The Daily Motivation Show.

0:41When did you feel like you were able to start letting go of the anger? When I consciously realized that it wasn't helping me. It wasn't helpful. It wasn't doing anything for me. It went from being my sword and my shield to being my anchor. How old were you around that time when you became aware? Early 20s. Okay. Early 20s. I started to move into like a corporate America type space. And one of the, you know, one of the things that happens to people and that happened to me is the things that you thought were the things that protected you. You know, anger protects you in a tough neighborhood. It keeps you from being a victim, keeps you from being bullied.

1:18but when those when the behaviors you have aren't helpful for you anymore when they're not protective when they just become prohibitive um either you can keep leaning into them and do more of what's not working or you can put your foot in the ground pivot and decide to change something and the latter took me a solid i'd say maybe seven or eight years and in those experiences I went to undergrad. You know, I lived in a different place in the city where people were completely different. And I was with young professionals and I got to see something different, like different influences. I got to see the world.

2:01I traveled a little bit more. I realized how much more to my identity was uncovered outside of just anger and frustration. as long as it made me feel something

2:19that I would describe as meaningful at the time, it was easier to hold on to. But when it felt like it started holding me back from love and relationships, connection and community, it became painfully obvious there's something needed to change. Really? Oh, yeah, absolutely, man. I didn't know how to change or where to start, but I felt it inside. and I felt it deeply and I saw everything as a constant reminder. That this anger does not serve me. No, it's not serving me. And it's destructive. Very destructive, right? So what was the aha moment that allowed you to start healing the anger that was inside of you?

2:59I think it was a series of moments. I'd be lying to you if I said there was just one definitive turning point where something happened and it just dawned on me. it happened so gradually that I can't tell you when it turned on. It's like, like glaucoma. Glaucoma is like one of the leading causes of blindness. Glaucoma is so tricky because it slowly takes away your peripheral vision. But you can still see. You can still see, but it slowly takes it away to the point where you don't realize that your vision is becoming more and more narrow until one day it's too late. And in a more positive way. That's kind of what happened with the anger.

3:41It just dissipated slowly. As I gained more in different friends, as I found different interests, as I started to get academic success, as I started to get different types of love in my life and different experiences, as I started to learn how to receive different types of love in my life, it just slowly dissipated to the point where it wasn't there anymore. Wow. Which isn't everybody's experience. It's not. So I'm very thankful for that as well. For me, I accomplished a lot of my goals and success and made money, but I still had anger inside of me. And it wasn't until I realized, oh, this energy, this frustration or anger, accomplishing the goals doesn't remove it from my heart.

4:26No. Which seems like it would, right? You're like, oh, I should be happy now. But I still wasn't. I still had anger inside of me. so it took uh you know therapy workshops self-awareness reflection retreats for me to start learning how to let it go and how to start healing those wounds that anger was a tied to that i was attached to and so once i started healing some of those wounds or stories or beliefs around events then i could have more grace for myself have more self-love and acceptance and start to release some of that frustration.

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