How To Stop Performing For People Who Don't Even Matter | Lewis Howes

0:00Walmart Express Delivery can get what you need delivered in as fast as an hour. Whether it's baby formula when you're down to the last scoop, pet food before the bowl runs empty, batteries for a dead remote, or a last-minute gift, it is handled. Try Walmart Express Delivery today and get free delivery with promo code EXPRESS. Promotion valid for first Express Delivery order. $50 minimum. Subject to availability. Restrictions apply.

0:26Lewis Howes:Hi, my name is Lewis Howes and welcome to the Daily Motivation Show.

0:39Lewis Howes:So here's a question I get, and there's a sneaky version of control that most people don't notice. It's the need to control how others see you. So how do you overcome this? Well, the answer is, is this, this is not easy because this one kept me stuck for many years. This was one of my biggest fears, biggest insecurities was worrying about the opinions of other people. What are people thinking about me? What do they say about me? And if I posted this in a certain way, I might have negative comments. A lot of times early in my business career, I was performing. I was overanalyzing. I was, you know, worried and I was performing for my audience, for my peers, for people I didn't even know and people I didn't even care to like.

1:24Lewis Howes:And when you need to manage how every person perceives you, you're not living your life. You're not in flow. You're not in freedom. You're casting yourself in a movie for other people. And the moment I stopped trying to be impressive and started really just, how can I be myself, be honest, be vulnerable? Everything started to shift. Everything started to change. And it doesn't mean I stopped getting, you know, people's negative comments or opinions or judgments about me. People are going to judge you no matter what you do. People are going to judge you whether you're sleeping on your sister's couch doing nothing or you're going for the biggest dreams in the world.

2:04Lewis Howes:So you might as well go for the biggest dreams in the world because that's a more enjoyable life. But the most viral type of content, the most shared stuff, the most impactful content I've ever made has come from moments where I was a little bit terrified, a little bit scared, a little bit worried. Oh man, should I really be this vulnerable? Should I really be this honest? Should I really be this authentic version of me for people to see? What if they don't like me? What if they don't love me? What if they don't accept me? Oh man, when you can overcome that fear and do it anyway, it's going to be a game changer because people don't connect with your highlight reel.

2:44Lewis Howes:They connect with your truth. They connect with who you really are and who you really are is messy. It's not perfect. You're going to make mistakes. You're going to need to own them. You're going to need to improve. You're going to need to overcome things. Like we're not perfect human beings. I can raise both my hands and both my feet up at the same time and say that I've made tons of mistakes in my past in every stage and season of life and every year of life. Like there's not been one year where I haven't made mistakes. And I've had to say, okay, how do I be better? How do I own this? How do I be more responsible?

3:16Lewis Howes:All these things. The fear should not be, what are people going to think about me? The goal should be asking yourself, how do you actually stop caring? You don't stop caring completely. That's not real. We live in a society where, relationships are key. You need people to bond with you. You need friends. You need family. You need peers. You need to be able to get things done. We live in a society that isn't about being isolated and alone all the time. So you don't stop caring completely because that's not real. But you get clear on whose opinion actually matters. You get clear on what critics you want to listen to?

3:58Lewis Howes:I saw this quote online recently that said, never listen to constructive criticism by someone who's never constructed anything. And so I thought that was funny because we get so worried about like the opinions of, I don't know, 10, 20, 35 people online who just say something critical. But are those the people that have actually built something? Are those people actually going to buy anything from you anyways? Are they going to help you in your business, your career? No. So why spend all of your time trying to please a few critics who've never built anything, who will never give you financially, support your goals, help you, or promote you?

4:43Lewis Howes:Like why care about helping those people or worrying about what those people think about you if they can't do anything for you anyways? Why try to convince people, hey, here's why you should like me. Like that's not good energy. You know, that's not, that's like clingy energy. It's like, Hey, please love me. Please like me. It's like, you know, that's not standing in your power and just saying, okay, thank you for your feedback and move on or, or say nothing. You know, you get clear on whose opinion actually matters to you. And that's your inner circle. That's the people have similar values and that's God.

5:19Lewis Howes:And everyone else is just noise. It doesn't mean they're bad or anything. It's like the people that are for you, like, great. They can be for you. The people that are against you are critical of you. Okay. Like they're critical of you. And so what? Now, again, you don't want to do things intentionally to, you know, upset people. You don't want to do anything out of integrity or things like that. You want to be the best version of you, but being the best version of you going for your goals is going to require courage for you putting yourself out there.

5:52It's

5:52Lewis Howes:to be open, to be vulnerable, to actually connect with other human beings. And that means it's not always perfect. It might be messy. You might make mistakes. It's about how you respond to that by being authentic and better version of yourself afterwards, which really matters. So I want you to ask yourself, am I making this decision from love or from the fear of judgment? That question will change your life based on what you want to do moving forward. am I making this decision based on love or fear of judgment from others or what other people think about me? It's going to change the game. And it doesn't mean it's easy, but it's going to be worth it.

6:32Lewis Howes:If you've been a recovering people pleaser like myself, it's hard to confront people. It's hard to do all those things if you've never done it before. It takes practice. So give yourself some grace if you haven't done it up until this moment yet. But moving forward, it's time for you to take action.

6:51Lewis Howes:I have a brand new book called Make Money Easy. And if you're looking to create more financial freedom in your life, you want abundance in your life, and you want to stop making money hard in your life, but you want to make it easier, you want to make it flow, you want to feel abundant, then make sure to go to makemoneyeasybook.com right now and get yourself a copy. I really think this is going to help you transform your relationship with money this moment moving forward. We have some big guests and content coming up. Make sure you're following and stay tuned to this episode of The Daily Motivation Show.

7:32Lewis Howes:Thank you so much for listening to today's episode of The Daily Motivation, and I hope you have an amazing rest of your day. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to click the link in the description that will take you to the full episode of our main podcast on the school of greatness. And if you are loving the daily motivation, please follow us over on Apple podcast and Spotify and leave us a review over on Apple podcast right now. And if you want more exclusive content and ad free listening experience, make sure to subscribe to our greatness plus channel on Apple podcast right now. And if you want to get even more inspiration from our world class guests and learn how to improve your life and take it to the next level, then make sure to sign up for the Greatness newsletter and get it delivered right to your inbox over at greatness.com slash newsletter.

8:22Lewis Howes:Again, have an amazing day and I'll see you tomorrow with another episode of the Daily Motivation Show.

8:34Walmart Express Delivery can get what you need delivered in as fast as an hour. Whether it's baby formula when you're down to the last scoop, pet food before the bowl runs empty, batteries for a dead remote, or a last-minute gift, it is handled. Try Walmart Express Delivery today and get free delivery with promo code EXPRESS. Promotion valid for first Express Delivery order. $50 minimum. Subject to availability. Restrictions apply.