How To Turn Failure Into Success | Marie Forleo EP 762

0:00Hi, my name is Lewis Howes and welcome to the Daily Motivation Show.

0:12I think in our society, especially as for at least two, as you get older, at least in my family, there was a lot of kind of cultural expectations like, oh, over this age, it kind of starts going down or, you know what I mean? You're kind of, you peak when you're young and that's when all the good stuff happens. And for me, I feel like it keeps getting better. And I love that the best years are still ahead of me and that all the stuff that I've been through, there's like all of these exciting new possibilities. So that's one of the biggest lessons. And I think the other one is that I don't have to stress as hard.

0:45Like as a human being, I have a really strong work ethic, but I also tend to put a lot of pressure on myself. And the other lesson I've learned is that I don't need to do that, that the work actually gets done more joyfully and more creatively. If I don't add on that additional layer of pressure and stress to put this all in context. So I've been doing what I've been doing for 20 years now. So creating free content via email back, starting in like 2000, 2001, which seems like crazy insane. Then, um, blogging. And then I got Kuma in 2009. Kuma is my dog, my toy Australian shepherd. He's a sweet little pup.

1:25And here's the thing. When we first got him as a puppy and I was training him along with Josh, I didn't have as much time to write blog posts. And so I just started opening my webcam on my Mac book pro and talking right into the camera. I remember those early videos. Yeah, they're still on the site. And so Marie TV was actually started not because I had some big vision for like a show that I wanted to do. It was actually because I didn't have much time because I had a really cute new puppy and I needed to get consistent content out and I felt much more comfortable and it was faster to talk into my webcam than it was to construct a blog post.

2:00I worked so hard to get my business off the ground. And I was often working seven days a week, you know, not just coaching. Like that was a portion of what I did, but to keep a roof over my head, it was bartending. It was waiting tables. It was like being a personal assistant, cleaning people's toilets, whatever I needed to do in order to pay my rent, you know, put food on the table and actually continue to grow the business. So I basically developed a habit of working nonstop. and former TV. Oh yeah. Like getting the business off the ground. Like I worked side gigs, fitness coach who did like dance instruction.

2:32I was a Nike elite dance athlete. I taught anywhere from like three to seven classes a week at crunch fitness. Some of them were choreographed. Some of them were basic fitness. I had the coaching clients. I was doing the content and I was bartending and waiting tables. So I had developed this habit of nonstop work because that was what was necessary at that time. But as Josh and I, you know, got together and eventually when I let go of the bartending and the waiting tables and even the dance of fitness as a revenue stream, I didn't let go of the habit of working nonstop. And that created some real problems in the relationship where it was to the point that him and I had been together for seven years and never taken a vacation together.

3:15Like we had traveled because either he had something for his work or I had something for my work, but it was always work related. So it wasn't actual just together time, just him and I, and our relationship was almost over. Like he was kind of done with me. Wow. Cause you were just, I want to work. I got to build my business. You don't understand me. This is my dream. I was operating too, out of a lot of scarcity and a lot of just habit, like feeling like if I didn't work constantly, that it was all going to fall apart. my stepson Zane came into my life when he was seven. So the year that Josh and I kind of, you know, one of the times we've had many bumps along the road, we've been together for 16 years, any couple that's been together that long, it's, it's not all unicorns and rainbows.

3:57No, absolutely not. Relationships are so difficult, but at that particular juncture, Zane was going off to college, which that was a really big thing in terms of Josh processing that, you know, having your kid go off after you've raised them. And then me working all the time, there was this confluence of stressors that put us in couples therapy. And I had to really change a lot about how I was living, what I was believing and really putting things back into perspective, which, you know, saved our relationship. What were you believing? Well, I was believing that if I didn't work constantly, that I wasn't a worthy person, that I wasn't doing enough to make my business successful, that I was perhaps letting people down.

4:42And so I had to really shift that and understand that, you know, I come from a background. I don't come from a wealthy background. So the work ethic in my nuclear family is very strong. Like my, my dad owned a small business. My mom, um, although she stayed home with us, she was constantly doing stuff, constantly working, constantly fixing things, constantly doing things that took care of the family. So that's the kind of DNA I grew up with was like, no, if something needs to get done, you get it done. It's not like you sit around all day and eating bonbons and watching TV. We're all kind of born with these innate desires.

5:22And sometimes we adopt the expectations of our family, of society, of the culture that we grew up in. For whatever reason, I feel like I popped onto this earth with a very clear inner compass of the things that I would like to explore or learn or experience. And also a very clear compass of those things, which I just am not interested in. I don't not want it for other people. It's almost like when you go to a beautiful buffet, right? And you walk up and you're like, Oh my goodness, there's these vegetables and, Oh, there's these desserts and these possibilities. You don't necessarily take from every option that's there.

6:04You're naturally attracted to some things over the other. And so in my life, I've always known what I want to go after. And the little plate that has have children and the little plate that's like getting married was, I just was like, that's not for me. It's not my path. Earlier on in my life, I had many people tell me that I'm making the worst mistake ever that I'm going to regret it. I was going to, you know, reach some age and, uh, just absolutely hate myself. And like, it would be the biggest mistake of my life that I was going to die alone. And I'm like, I'm going to die alone anyway. That's exactly right.

6:44Unless you know, God forbid a plane goes down. Right. When it comes to having a conversation around productivity, having a conversation around business growth, having a conversation around priorities, you know, and people can be very bold and courageous on like an Instagram comment where they wouldn't be nearly. So, you know, if you were sitting across the table and just having a conversation, the more you care about what other people think, the more they own you, more power they have over you. Yeah. And it's like, I want people to win. That's who I am as a person I want people to win. I want them to be well.

7:22I want them to be successful. If there's anything that I could possibly share that even a tiny nugget of what I share helps them become more of who they want to be, then I feel I have done my job successfully. Do I have all the answers? Absolutely not. No way. No one has all the answers, but I do believe that what we create in our company and the programs we put together and the things that we share help people find their own answers. So I don't, honestly, I don't care. I really don't care because if someone is going to take the time to either make that comment or that judgment, my perspective would be that there's something in their own life that's not working that puts them in that position of feeling a sense of pain or feeling like they have to judge someone else to justify what's happening in their own life.

8:09I just don't think that gets any of us anywhere.

8:21I am so excited for you to finish the rest of your day strong. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to click the link in the description and it will take you to the full episode of my other show, The School of Greatness. Make sure to come back tomorrow for another episode of The Daily Motivation Show.