If You Want To Overcome Feeling Insecure, Listen To THIS | Alex Hormozi EP 772

0:00Hi, my name is Lewis Howes and welcome to the Daily Motivation Show.

0:12I'm very risk averse. And so I probably need, like, what's the core changes that I need to have? I probably need to be a little bit more of a risk taker than I am. Like, I tend to always take the lowest risk path when I can. Even the idea of, like, when I quit entrepreneurship, or sorry, when I quit my job to start entrepreneurship, it was because I knew that the path that I was on was guaranteed not to get to me where I want. So this one, even though it was lower, like I had a low chance of success, the other one had 100 % failure guarantee. So it felt like the lower risk option for my long-term goals to quit my job and become an entrepreneur for that reason.

0:50And so, you know, people are like, I'm really risk averse. I'm like, so am I. Like I hoard money. I do. You haven't spent any of the money from the exits still. It's like just sitting in the bank. Nothing. We started working the next day. We didn't even take a day off. We literally sold, wire hit, and we started working on acquisition.com the next day. It has been easier for me to change my conditions than to change who I am. And so I have used my material success and accolades to quiet the voices of not being good enough. And so for that, like me having that, if I have that little voice that peeps up, it's like, hey, look at that.

1:21And I'm like, okay. No, no, I'm okay. I'd really have to re-engineer the conversation I have with myself around how I value myself. because then people are like, well, if you, you know, if, if everything disappeared, you know, how'd you feel about yourself? I like to think that I would be uncomfortable and then I would change my views, but I haven't needed to do that yet. And so my effort goes elsewhere, but that's what probably would have to happen in order for me to make that change. Everyone deals with this. You know what I mean? Like at every, at every level you're dealing with this of like feeling of inadequacy, you know, feeling not good enough, feeling you're not smart, feeling like you don't work hard, whatever it is.

1:53Like I have that stuff all the time. Cause you think that the external circumstance is going to is going to solve that and i would say that it does to a degree it becomes a crutch right but then you have this crutch and then you just tie yourself forth to the accolade or the thing rather than still yourself and maybe i need to do more think about us as kids right like how do you how do you orient yourself with the world you get reinforced or punished at all at all phases directly indirectly but you get reinforced or punished and the things that you get reinforced you do more of the things you get punished you do less of right like that's just how how we how we learn behavior how we learn to function in right touch the thing ah it hurts it's that's we got punished okay you know you uh your parent tells you to sit down and be quiet and eat and you learn to sit down and shut up and eat and then we wonder why adults don't move because we're told to sit when we're running around right we learn school sit down and be quiet and we and we wonder why uh we eat so much when the reward for everything we did when we were a kid was food right we wonder these things so the reason external validation is so hard, at least for me, is because it's how I learned everything.

2:53It's because external validation gave me the directional guidance of what's good and what's not. And then as you get older, it's where am I going to get that validation from? And so I would say that my external validation is still 100 % there. It just comes from different sources. So I'm more selective on whose validation I want. I need to be able to validate myself. You don't need to swear to somebody else. You should be able to swear to yourself and bear witness to yourself because your word should be good enough. it's good to have feedback in life so I think that's why it's also difficult in general because it's not eliminate or have more of, it's to what degree and from home and about what and so then it gets a little bit more complex but even using those different lenses I think it's good to unpack it for anyone who's listening which is like okay, most times when we're afraid of something, it's not actually like this amorphous crowd that we're afraid of it's like one or two people's opinion like it's your dad or it's your whatever it is, right?

3:48And you're worried about what they're going to think. The line in the Bible that always scared me the most was to who much is given, much is expected. And so for me, I always felt like I was given a lot. You know what I mean? Like I was born in America right off the bat. I was born as a guy. I have insane genetics. Like from that perspective, I was a six pack when I was 15. You know what I mean? I have a pretty high processing load. Like I can usually, I do okay with complex problems. I was bilingual basically at birth because parents talked to me in a different language, so that gave me good language abilities.

4:20And so it's like, these are all things that were given to me, right? And I was born into, from a money standpoint, a decently wealthy family, right? And so these are all the things that were given to me. And so to me, I'm like, man, much is expected, right? And not necessarily that that's, you know, God, whatever. Just I expect a lot of myself because I see so much potential. By the time I die, I would like to have nothing left in my potential tank. And it just all have been transformed into, into my reality.

5:13Come back tomorrow for another episode of the Daily Motivation Show.