If You're Sick From Being Someone You're Not, Surrender To This | Tabitha Brown

0:00Hi, my name is Lewis Howes, and welcome to The Daily Motivation Show.

0:12What's the difference between habitual prayer and seeking God and faith and allowing Him to be inside of you? The difference is habitually you're taught. I was taught how to pray that way. I was taught how to be a person of faith. I was taught how to go to church, how to worship. but when I said God I'm gonna strip me clean my prayer was God if you heal me you can have me wow that meant I'm not gonna do it my way anymore and how I was taught I'm gonna do it the way you created me to do it that meant I'm gonna allow you to deposit inside of me like only you can nobody else will get this credit or the glory for it right and so that's what got me free I started taking layers off and when I prayed that prayer I was in my bathroom I remember and my prayer was God if you heal me you can have me.

1:10Something changed that day. I can't explain it. I just felt different. I wasn't healed in the moment but when I left the bathroom I felt different and from that day I've just been taking layers off ever since and allowing myself to be who God has called me to be. Wow. So, yeah. Do you feel like you were sick physically and depressed emotionally or mentally because you were out of alignment with who you were meant to be? Absolutely. I definitely think that plays a huge, huge role in it. I think that I also have a gift, right? So we all have gifts. I was born with the gift of where I can dream things that come to pass.

1:50I see things. I can hear things. and I remember a time when I tried to pray that away because it was scary, you know, growing up that way and, you know, people thinking you crazy because you can dream something and tell them and then it happens or you see something and you tell them. It wasn't a fun gift to have as a kid or as a young adult, right? But I remember I went like a good, felt like about six years where I prayed like, God, I don't want this anymore. and when I didn't have it as often, it felt like I was missing a part of it. Wow. Right? But what I realized is when I would have a dream and I'm supposed to give a message to somebody, if I didn't, I would get sick.

2:36Wow. I would not, like I would get nauseous. My head would spin. I would have to lay down. But the moment I got it out, I'd be completely fine. So you had a lot of premonitory dreams or? Yeah, like just, it's crazy. Like a vision or like a message? I can dream it while I'm asleep or sometime while I'm awake. Like right now I'm looking at you and then something would appear right beside you. I cannot control it. It just happens. Wow. But sometimes it's like a movie screen, like a little box, and I could see something play out. Sometimes it's an actual, just a vision. Just as clear as you sitting there, you can sit right here.

3:12Wow. And when you wouldn't speak it? When I won't say. like there's times when God shows me something, but it's not meant for me to say anything. It's just for me. To be aware of. To be aware. When you feel like you're supposed to say it, you don't. Oh, I'm not well. Interesting. Yeah, so I feel like because I wasn't living my truth for so long, I had created this Tabitha that I thought would win. Like I was suffocating the true me, so I couldn't breathe. Wow. And so the more and more layers I took off, the better I got. Why did you feel like you needed to put a mask on for either the industry you're in or the relationships you're in or whatever it might be?

3:51I mean, I know from a personal experience, I wore a mask to feel like I needed to fit in and feel safe for many years. Growing up playing sports and in school and, you know, as a young adult, I felt like I needed to protect myself with a mask. But why did you wear masks? For many reasons. One, you know, I'm from North Carolina, right? From the South. I grew up learning how to code switch and conform watching my mama right so we go to the bank and if she talking to you know the white lady that work at the bank but her voice is different I'm like oh wait is this how we talk interesting oh okay if my mama came to school and talked to teachers and you know all my teachers were white in my town it was only black and white there was no in between I didn't see like Hispanics or any of that stuff until I grew up and became an adult she would change her voice.

4:39So I learned very early, oh, this is how we have to talk to people who are not black. I didn't know that that was code switching back then, but it was like, oh, to be treated a certain way, to be respected, to be seen. That's what we have to do. And then growing up and working in corporate America, being told like in a call center, people hearing my voice say, oh, are you black? I don't want to speak to somebody black. No way. Oh, absolutely. Come on. Oh, absolutely, honey. And so I would learn to mask it even more, to push it down even more. And then getting into entertainment, hearing, oh, you sound country, you're going to have to learn to cover that.

5:18So it became like, I'm doing it for, you know, just my normal school and work. I'm doing it for corporate America. Now I'm doing it for entertainment. And then it came to like, oh, you come to L.A. I used to, you know, have my hair was already natural. but they were like for your skin complexion straighter hair okay certain size sound neutral used to be the the the word i would always be given no accent yeah no accent be as neutral no one should know where you're from and i believe that and so i created that tabitha to get jobs right the one thing that my mom and they named me tabitha so my first job at winn dixie i never forget i put in the application dropped it off and i got a call um and they were like, oh, we want to bring you in for an interview.

6:05I was like, okay, great. So I get there and the assistant manager, when I walked up, clearly thought I was white from my name and how I sounded on the phone, right? So when she looked at me, I was like, I'm here for an interview. She was like, did somebody call you for an interview? I was like, yes, ma 'am, said her name. And it was her, she was like, I'll be right back. Ended up getting a job because the actual store manager had came, his name was David. He was an older man who was great. He was like, I'll interview him. And so he loved me and I worked there, you know, for a while. But my name always used to get me jobs, crazy enough, because people thought I was white.

6:44They want no black tabithas around.

6:51I have a brand new book called Make Money Easy. And if you're looking to create more financial freedom in your life, you want abundance in your life and you want to stop making money hard in your life, but you want to make it easier, you want to make it flow, you want to feel abundant, then make sure to go to makemoneyeasybook.com right now and get yourself a copy. I really think this is going to help you transform your relationship with money this moment moving forward. We have some big guests and content coming up. Make sure you're following and thank you for listening to this episode of The Daily Motivation Show.

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8:24Again, have an amazing day and I'll see you tomorrow with another episode of the Daily Motivation Show.